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Be a Better parent Challenge

parenting

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parenting

akanemd

Parenting Techniques are like assholes..everyone has one!

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Friday’s Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 20 – Keep a journal
I’d love to say I did a fabulous job but that would be a total lie. I had visitors from out of town and it was impossible to find time to post , little lone journal. I am however going to give it a try this week. I’ll keep you posted. How did you ladies do?

Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 21 – Fake it

Try curtailing your “anger” (which The New Girl determined was more of an impulse control issue rather than anger) by actually faking it. Rolling your eyes, moving along, and pretending.
You’ll see in the comments that she’s not at all saying that you should fake how you’re feeling. Big difference. So that’s not what I’m talking about at all.

But in many cases, we often let ourselves blow up quickly when really, if we just rolled our eyes and looked at the bigger picture, we’d have way fewer massive blow-ups.Basically,we need to fake our reaction. Feel your feelings but fake control:)

Let me know how that works out for you. I know I will have to work hard on this one. I have a quick temper and I have to work hard to step back and think. I am interested to see how this works out.

Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 22 – Dates with your kids

Whether you’ve got one kid or a bunch, it’s really important to spend individual time with them. It’s obviously a little easier when you have just one, and then, increasingly more challenging the more you add to your brood.God knows I spend most days feeling like one is being left out. It was so much easier for me when I only had one. I adore both, but its hard work making sure everybody gets the same attention and no one feels left out or slighted. Lucky for me, they have no issue with letting me know!

So #22: Plan a date night with your kids
Granted, it doesn’t need to be a night, obviously, and it certainly doesn’t need to be anything extravagant. In fact, it could be something that you always do together, month after month. Breakfast out? Trip to a special playground? An afternoon at a museum? This is difficult for us Mommies who are part time single Mothers or those who are actual full time single mothers but it is possible. It’s hard for me to give them each individual personal time because they are so close in age and I can’t justify leaving one out. I am planning on making the time while my 5 year old is on school, special time for my 3 year old and I. I will do the same for my 5 year old, while the 3 year old naps. It’s the best Ic an do.

There are so many fantastic ways for you to connect individually with your kiddos, especially outside of your home, which always seems to be bogged down with 400 things that you need to do other than spend alone time with them. But if you can look past the laundry and the ignore the dishes, quality time can easily be spent int he comfort of your own home.Let me know what ideas you have fro “Date Night” with your kids. How did it go?
And how did faking it go? 

Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 23 – Give ’em choices

Only a little over a week left, folks. I hope you’re still with me.I hope that you are feeling like you’re getting something out of this. I am loving the challenges and feel like I am being proactive in my parenting.
I also have noticed by utilizing these techniques I have eliminated a lot of the regular tantrums and meltdowns that we were having, which is AWESOME!!!

And I do hope you found some ideas for date “nights” with your kids. I realize that those are a little hard to do impromptu, but you can certainly plan ahead.

#23: Give ’em choices
Giving your kids choices is a fantastic way to get them to do what you want without a battle (ha) but also to allow them some control, which is super important – particularly for the younger set (i.e. 2-5ish). The key here is to only give them TWO. Yes, and only choices that you actually want to abide by, Don’t make offers that you have no intention of keeping. This is how I have always done choices and it seems to work pretty well. It creates a sense of autonomy without letting them get out of  your realm of control.

Forget “What do you want for lunch?” questions and give them options. Just two.
Or when it comes to getting out of the house “You can put your shoes on and come with us, or leave them off and stay here.”This is one of my favorites, Basically, look kiddo you can do as I say and get to go do something fun or we can just stay here. My girls chomp at the bit to get out of the house ( they have their Mama’s cabin fever gene) so usually it goes as I plan. Of course, if you are dealing with a overtired  or sick child, expect the unexpected sometimes they go rogue and  you find yourself punished and unable to leave the house:(

My favorite: “You can pick up your clothes off the floor or I can pick them up and take them all to Goodwill.” Desperate times, mamas.Desperate measures. This works with my girls because they are clothes fanatics. But you get the picture….”Pick up the Barbie dolls or I will pick them up and give then to the homeless!” See, its easy..just be sure to follow through or you will lose all control….forever!

Anyway, you get the idea. Now go give it a try. Let me know how it goes!

Just a reminder, the Month of September, I will be doing a month long Be a Better Me (You) Challenge in celebration of my Birthday! Hope you can all join me. There’s more to us than just being a Mommy, so next month we will give some attention to that woman:) Also, I am trying to reach a goal of 1000 followers by my birthday September 25, so if you are not already following please do.If you already are please pass it on to your friends who you think might like it, tweet it, Facebook it. Only 432 more followers needed:)Happy Mothering!

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Friday’s Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 20 – Keep a journal
I’d love to say I did a fabulous job but that would be a total lie. I had visitors from out of town and it was impossible to find time to post , little lone journal. I am however going to give it a try this week. I’ll keep you posted. How did you ladies do?

Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 21 – Fake it

Try curtailing your “anger” (which The New Girl determined was more of an impulse control issue rather than anger) by actually faking it. Rolling your eyes, moving along, and pretending.
You’ll see in the comments that she’s not at all saying that you should fake how you’re feeling. Big difference. So that’s not what I’m talking about at all.

But in many cases, we often let ourselves blow up quickly when really, if we just rolled our eyes and looked at the bigger picture, we’d have way fewer massive blow-ups.Basically,we need to fake our reaction. Feel your feelings but fake control:)

Let me know how that works out for you. I know I will have to work hard on this one. I have a quick temper and I have to work hard to step back and think. I am interested to see how this works out.

Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 22 – Dates with your kids

Whether you’ve got one kid or a bunch, it’s really important to spend individual time with them. It’s obviously a little easier when you have just one, and then, increasingly more challenging the more you add to your brood.God knows I spend most days feeling like one is being left out. It was so much easier for me when I only had one. I adore both, but its hard work making sure everybody gets the same attention and no one feels left out or slighted. Lucky for me, they have no issue with letting me know!

So #22: Plan a date night with your kids
Granted, it doesn’t need to be a night, obviously, and it certainly doesn’t need to be anything extravagant. In fact, it could be something that you always do together, month after month. Breakfast out? Trip to a special playground? An afternoon at a museum? This is difficult for us Mommies who are part time single Mothers or those who are actual full time single mothers but it is possible. It’s hard for me to give them each individual personal time because they are so close in age and I can’t justify leaving one out. I am planning on making the time while my 5 year old is on school, special time for my 3 year old and I. I will do the same for my 5 year old, while the 3 year old naps. It’s the best Ic an do.

There are so many fantastic ways for you to connect individually with your kiddos, especially outside of your home, which always seems to be bogged down with 400 things that you need to do other than spend alone time with them. But if you can look past the laundry and the ignore the dishes, quality time can easily be spent int he comfort of your own home.Let me know what ideas you have fro “Date Night” with your kids. How did it go?
And how did faking it go? 

Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 23 – Give ’em choices

Only a little over a week left, folks. I hope you’re still with me.I hope that you are feeling like you’re getting something out of this. I am loving the challenges and feel like I am being proactive in my parenting.
I also have noticed by utilizing these techniques I have eliminated a lot of the regular tantrums and meltdowns that we were having, which is AWESOME!!!

And I do hope you found some ideas for date “nights” with your kids. I realize that those are a little hard to do impromptu, but you can certainly plan ahead.

#23: Give ’em choices
Giving your kids choices is a fantastic way to get them to do what you want without a battle (ha) but also to allow them some control, which is super important – particularly for the younger set (i.e. 2-5ish). The key here is to only give them TWO. Yes, and only choices that you actually want to abide by, Don’t make offers that you have no intention of keeping. This is how I have always done choices and it seems to work pretty well. It creates a sense of autonomy without letting them get out of  your realm of control.

Forget “What do you want for lunch?” questions and give them options. Just two.
Or when it comes to getting out of the house “You can put your shoes on and come with us, or leave them off and stay here.”This is one of my favorites, Basically, look kiddo you can do as I say and get to go do something fun or we can just stay here. My girls chomp at the bit to get out of the house ( they have their Mama’s cabin fever gene) so usually it goes as I plan. Of course, if you are dealing with a overtired  or sick child, expect the unexpected sometimes they go rogue and  you find yourself punished and unable to leave the house:(

My favorite: “You can pick up your clothes off the floor or I can pick them up and take them all to Goodwill.” Desperate times, mamas.Desperate measures. This works with my girls because they are clothes fanatics. But you get the picture….”Pick up the Barbie dolls or I will pick them up and give then to the homeless!” See, its easy..just be sure to follow through or you will lose all control….forever!

Anyway, you get the idea. Now go give it a try. Let me know how it goes!

Just a reminder, the Month of September, I will be doing a month long Be a Better Me (You) Challenge in celebration of my Birthday! Hope you can all join me. There’s more to us than just being a Mommy, so next month we will give some attention to that woman:) Also, I am trying to reach a goal of 1000 followers by my birthday September 25, so if you are not already following please do.If you already are please pass it on to your friends who you think might like it, tweet it, Facebook it. Only 432 more followers needed:)Happy Mothering!

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As many of you have probably noticed, I have been MIA since last Thursday. I will start there. My Mother went into the hospital for a simple outpatient procedure on Thursday morning.After the almost 6 hour surgery was done ( yeah, I don’t know how that qualifies as outpatient but whatever),my sister calls me with an update that there has been a complication. A COMPLICATION? Not words that I ever want to hear in conjunction with anything to do with any of my loved ones, least of all the person who gave birth to me. A simple procedure turned into a rare complication that left my Mom with blood pooled around her heart. It was very scary for all of us, and I can’t imagine what my poor Mother went through waking from her surgery only to find that she could not breathe and felt as if she were going to die. It was an emergency and my own Mommy instincts kicked in and I immediately packed a small bag,called my husband to meet us, grabbed my girls, jumped in the car and headed home to Chicago to take care of my Mom. I’ve told you all before (on multiple occasions) that I am a complete control freak. Well, that means I can’t wait for someone else to call with updates. I had to go to my Mom to know that everything that could be done to get her well , was actually being done. My sisters and brothers who were closer were there but , maybe it has something to do with being the oldest, I had to be there. I got there that night and she was feeling pretty weak and helpless. They were giving her blood and loads of pain meds, she had a chest tube to drain the blood and a catheter sticking in her neck ,it was pretty gruesome to look at but all I cared about was her getting well. I could tell she was frightened when I walked in. So, I pulled my Mommy face on and I set out to make sure that I knew exactly what was going on, that she was comfortable and in capable hands and then I went to trying to make her smile ( which is exactly what she would have done for me). The first thing I said when I saw her, ” Mom, is there anything you won’t do to get me to come visit?” She chuckled and I felt better knowing that she could smile under the circumstances. She ended up in the hospital for a couple more days. I am happy to report she is home now and resting comfortably. I just wanted to thank all of you who had expressed concern. I just could not get to a computer under the circumstances; my mind was obviously on other things.

Next, when I returned and finally had a chance to read some of my comments I came across this gem from Robin @ Your Daily Dose and it made me smile. On a weekend when I was so exhausted and spent from the emotional roller coaster of the previous days that I thought a smile was impossible, this video she tagged me in for her Here’s to you Thursday  post did. She says it reminds her of me / my blog. What are your thoughts?

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Monday Minute

If you could have plastic surgery, would you? If so, what would you get done?
Yes, return my boobies to their original place of origin, some botox, maybe some ass implants, tummy tuck, lipo on my hips and butt:)

What laws have you broken?
Aren’t they only technically broken if you were caught? So following that logic, I will admit to speeding & maybe a little reckless driving.

What is your quirkiest habit?
I hate even numbers ( so I do shit in odd quantities but at the same time I crave equality..its gets dicey sometimes), I refuse to drink out of Styrofoam cups ( the sound and feel of my teeth touching it wigs my the hell out), eat baby corn ( Because it creeps me out) and last but not least I count the letters in words as people are speaking when I am anxious ( don’t laugh, I’ve talked to my doctor about it. Its an anxiety coping mechanism and its not uncommon).

If you only had 3 songs to listen to for the rest of your life what would they be?
This requires too much thought @ midnight but I will try…
Sweet Surrender by Sarah Mclachlin  because it reminds me of my husband
Ottoman  by Vampire Weekend because it makes me happy
Pretty Much anything that Keane has ever sung. I used to sing them to both my girls in utero and to rock them as newborns and that always makes me happy when I hear it.
and finally…

How often do you have sex?
Well considering that I only get to see my gorgeous husband 3 days a week, it ranges from 1 to 3 times a week:)

Now to catch up on my Be a Better Parent Challenges . I will catch us up by listing challenge 13-15.

Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 13 – The dreaded “in a minute”

I know we’ve all got some form of this – either it’s “in a second” or “give me a minute” or some variation of the above, but it’s basically translated in little brains as  “Never” “Mommy won’t keep this promise” or ” I say in a minute but this probably won’t happen”. It’s a bad habit and its sending my kids the wrong messages; that they are unimportant and Mommy doesn’t keep her promises.

  • In five minutes (and set the timer) which is one more reason that I love my iPhone I can set the alarm. I’ve done it when its time to come in from play so now I can use it when Mommy has to be done with her “thing”.
  • When the show is over ( basically when whatever I am doing is done within a reasonable time frame).
  • When I’m off the phone ( why do they always insist on talking to me about nothing when I am on the phone? Seriously, is it in the kids handbook?)

This is a challenging one, but it’s made much easier when you give your kids an actual MEASURABLE TIME. And then, the hard part, sticking to it.

 

 Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 14 – Catch them being good

I love this challenge because  I know from experience that this really does work for me and it works wonders for my daughters’ self confidence. Now, it’s super easy to compliment your child when they do something awesome, but it’s a little harder to remember to catch the smaller things – things that you might not generally notice but could really do with some positive reinforcement so that THEY KEEP DOING THEM!
That means everything from playing nicely with a sibling, responding to you after only one request – the simple things.The sorts of behaviors, actions, and reactions that often times go unnoticed because they are, in our grown up minds, small. However, they are not small in the long run and may actually be a big feat for a teething toddler to master.
For example; “I love how you’re sharing your dolls with your sister.” or “I really appreciate that you picked up your socks the first time I asked you.Thank you”
It’s way more effective than telling them “no” or “don’t do that” all the time.Plus, I get pretty tired of always sounding negative.I don’t want my kids to think they are bad kids because they are always being reprimanded.
There will still be plenty of times where you’ll be doing that – don’t get me wrong, but catching them being good is a fabulous way to get them headed in the right direction
(your direction). Try it! – and tell me how it went tomorrow!

Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 15 – Start a tradition

I know it may seem odd to just create a tradition for today, but the least you can do is start thinking about it. And by tradition, I mean some sort of weekly family ritual that you do every week – something that your kids can count on, look forward to, and something that’s uniquely yours (and theirs).Something they can look back on fondly and pass on to their own children.
I suppose an easy and common one is the big Sunday breakfast – whether it’s going out to eat after mass or making a big Sunday brunch at home.
Maybe it’s a weekly game night or make your own pizza night where the kids gets to pick the toppings they eat for their own pizza and top it. Perhaps it’s ice cream on Saturdays or a Thursday night dance party where you dress up and blast the music in your living room.We tend to like to have Slumber parties on Friday nights ( we do Manis and pedis , crazy PJ’s, and popcorn) or Saturday night Rock band marathons.
You may even already do this, and if you do, please share. And if you don’t, now is a great time to come up with one. I figure a part of better parenting is creating fun, positive memories for our kids, and something like this will do just the trick.Can’t wait to hear all of your new traditions fro your families.

And I almost forgot

Giveaway for the Get Moving; Family Fitness game for the Wii

it ends this week and there are NO entries! So, right now its pretty easy to win. Come one… it’s a lot of fun. You know you want to.

One more thing…

Since I always tell you when my kids are acting crazy.I absolutely must share how they pepper the chaos with moments of sublime awesomeness.Yesterday, I was talking with my Bella, “You are so beautiful! Where do you get your good looks from? Your Mama?” 

Obviously , I was teasing her about getting them from me. For Christs sake , my kid is a model and I am not, enough said.  But this was her answer, and probably one of the many reasons that she has a special little place in my heart today..

Bella: “No…my Mommy is WAY cuter!”

Is this kid not the most precious thing ever? Just like the moment she was born, I am wrapped tightly right around her and Gabs’ tiny little fingers and (Shhhh) there is no where else I’d rather be tonight.

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Yesterday’s Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 9 – Find your triggers 
was an easy one. I already knew most of my triggers but had forgotten to lost one very important one. When Mommy’s monthly friend is visiting ( Mommy is extra tired, crampy, moody, migraney) that is certainly a trigger fro me. I have no tolerance for anything or anybody. Even when I try to step away from the situation and be aware, I can’t. I just want to be left alone in my misery. How do I remedy this? I try to be tolerant, work it so the kids can got o bed earlier and I think if I plan ahead and fill the it me that keeps them occupied and relieves me of the need to think spontaneously on those occasions, it might help. I’m trying it today! How did it work for you?

Today’s Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 10 – Be the fun one I am so ready for this one.Usually Daddy gets to bet he fun one. With my husband being out of town a lot, I have to be the enforcer and the one to keep the schedule.He gets to come home and have fun. After having to do everything and be the schedule nazi/ punishment enforcer, it gets hard for me to be the fun one because I am so use to being regimented and so tired from having to exert all of that energy being the tyrant Mommy. Not today, Today, Grandma ChaCha is visiting and I have planed a day of fun with Grandma….shopping, lunch, ( oh, its supposed to be fun for them?)….park, pool, splash pad and a whole lotta Grandma ChaCha. School starts next week so this is the day we make a bang. I am going to try and make an effort to do more spontaneous ( because you don’t want to tell them beforehand or you will be asked about it 1000 times a day until it happens) fun things. I have been known to do the spontaneous ice cream cone but I will get more creative.

Remember that I wouldn’t just drop a fantastic trip to the zoo if the kids have been terrorizing Mommy for the last few days. That’s not the message you want to send and its reinforcing bad behavior. But if you can find a reason to do something fun, then I say do it! Choose something you’ll all enjoy together.

You don’t need to spend a lot of money, or even any money – whether it’s an ice cream treat after dinner, a trip to the zoo, a fun picnic lunch, a game of Wii, spontaneous trip to the local splash pad, just do something that’s FUN. And enjoy it yourself too.

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Our last Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 5 to 8 – Take a break from your kids
was a hard one for me to execute. Not because of lack of want but because of my limited opportunity. The big guy is only here to help on weekends. But yesterday, the big guy took the girls to a movie for a couple of hours. I had to work ( I work online) but it was a  break from the kids. There were no little girls screaming in the background as I was trying to do my job online, which was amazing. It’s been so long since I’ve had the scenario that I almost forgot that it existed and what a difference it actually makes. It was only a couple hours and I was tethered to my computer the entire time ( but lets face it, I would have been tethered to my Mac whether I had to for work or some other reason blogging.) The girls came home and I had missed them, was glad to see them and it had given me enough time to decompress and remove myself from the chaos and recharge. It was amazing and I am going to try and do this at least once a week. I need it. I deserve it. How did it work for you? What do you do for a mental break from your children?
Today’s  Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 9 – Find your triggers. 
The ability to figure out what sends you off the deep end and into the abyss of parenting madness is the first step in keeping those outbursts to a minimum. For example, I know a few of my trigger right off the bat; lack of sleep= grouchy, impatient Mommy
anxiety and loads on my mind= makes me snippy and less tolerant
fear  & trepidation= me being angry
Hungry Mommy = Crazy Mommy
I know there are more and I will be taking note today. Take note of your triggers. If we can figure out the triggers, we can change our reaction and react with appropriate actions not off the handle craziness. Happy Mothering.

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Yesterday was Be a better parent Challenge- Get down on their level. It went very well, I plan on using this one forever, or until they are taller than me. Then I may have to request that they show me the same courtesy ( they are both projected to be over 6 foot). All day yesterday, I was bending down and making eye contact. I was even asking them to repeat back to me the previous request, to be sure they totally understood and heard ( not because I just like to drive a point home). You know what? It worked. It totally worked. There was much less sass, ignoring, screaming, and not doing. If they didn’t do what I had just told them ( because they either became engrossed in whatever Wiggles episode they were watching, game they were playing, or the fact that they have the attention span of fruit flies), I simply and calmly asked , ” Have you forgotten what Mommy asked you to do?” To which Gabs replied (every time , I might add), “Oh, Me sorry. Me forgot!” Then she promptly stopped what she was doing and did what I had asked. It was amazing! How did you do?

Normally , I would be giving you the Day 5 challenge but as I am taking the lead from Kristen at Motherhood Uncensored and I’m sure she is at BlogHer, I’m not sure when the next challenge will be issued. I will post it as soon as it is, so that you can all follow along. I will post it as an update to this post. So, be on the lookout!

Update!

The Be A Better Parent Challenge Day 5-8; Take a break from your kids. Kristen is at BlogHer and therefore, has a forced break from her children. I am so envious right now, you have no idea:) But I think the sentiment is spot on. We all need a break from our children in order to recharge, rejuvenate and decompress. I am so speaking from experience. As most of you know, the big guy has been working out of town..like his actual office is in another state. We see him on the weekends. It sucks and I am basically a single Mommy during the week, I just happen to be in a loving marriage with a husband who is miles away. I used to be able to have occassional Mommy Nights Out, go grocery shopping by myself,  or just being able to hand the girls off to my husband when he came home (actually about 5 minutes after he walked through the door) was a great relief. With that being gone, I have no break from my kids and I can certainly tell the difference.Let’s just put it this way; I have gained 10 lbs. since this whole situation started, my hair has drastically thinned from stress, my gray hairs have doubled ( 3 to 6 !!!!!), and I’m not sure but I am pretty positive that crows feet is trying to become very friendly neighbors with eye circles. Oh yeah, did I mention my high stress level also contributes to my insomnia! Sweet..BONUS! Everybody may not be able to go on a vacation  without their kids, or even want to,  ( again I am feeling envious right now) but we all need time for us. In the end , we will be better for them. I’m going to give this a try but I will have to get creative.I’m thinking something like a bubble bath and candles during their mid day nap…even if I have to fight them to go down for that nap. I won’t really get to go anywhere but maybe Calgon can come take me away from my stress. Let my know how you take a break from your kids. I will be posting the next challenge on Monday when Kristen returns from BlogHer.Happy Mothering.

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OK, yesterday’s Be a better parent challenge was No More “Good Job”. It was a great challenge and one that I will be more mindful of in the future. I have been working in education and with children for a long time now and I know this challenge is true. In fact, I used to be really good at coming up with new ingenious ways of saying “Good Job” but apparently with my own kids, I’ve become lazy. Yesterday instead of saying “Good Job”, I was a little more specific. For example:

“Awesome listening skills”, “I love the way you arranged your doll house. It looks amazing!” “Way to go, that bed looks like a professional did it!” “I love the way you helped your sister find her shoes!”

Just a few spins I put on it. I think it went pretty well. How did you do?

Today’s  Be a Better Parent Challenge ; Get Down on their Level . This is another fabulous idea. What is meant by get down on their level is pretty much what it sounds like.When you are speaking with your child, bend down, take a knee. You’ll establish eye contact and know they heard what you said. Kristen says that she asks for a “Yes, Mommy.” as an acknowledgment that they actually heard and understood what was said. I , personally, have been requesting a ,”Yes, Ma’am” only because I want these girls to learn respect for their elders at a young age, plus they know I am serious.  She also makes the point that  talking to someone’s head is not the smartest thing to do. I agree. It’s pretty much like talking to someone’s back. Who knows if the person you are talking to hears anything you say? Plus, how can you hold a child accountable for their actions if you are not even sure if they heard your instructions? So, today, I start bending down and taking a knee. No more talking to the tops of beautiful little heads. Eye contact , Mommies. It also shows respect for the person we are talking to. I mean if another adult didn’t make contact when talking to us we’d have a conniption fit. Let’s give it a try. I can’t wait. My girls will love it.

I think these challenges make perfect sense to us Mommies, we are just always so busy we never have the time to actually think about utilizing them. I think I might print the challenge out and share it with all my Mommy friends.Let me know how your challenge is going! Happy Mothering!

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Yesterday was day 1 of the Be a Better Parent challenge at Motherhood Uncensored. The first challenge was being present. I tried. I really did try. By the end of the day,I still found myself tuning them out…especially when all of the whining at bed time started going on. I did do pretty good the rest of the day; not perfect, but I tried. I am a work in progress and today as I am doing challenge #2, I will also be incorporating being present. How did you do? I’d love to hear.
Today’s challenge, as you may have surmised from the title of today’s post; Punish without anger! I think this is a hard one for all Moms because normally by the time we actually punish our children, they have been doing something repeatedly and we have hit our threshold. I am not really an advocate for spanking because I got it as a child and I really hated it. It didn’t really teach me anything but to be afraid of the actual spanking . It didn’t teach me a valuable life lesson, other than I don’t like to be hit.So, spanking is a non issue fro me. I don’t advocate for spanking. It never seems to get the result you want. My punishments for the girls usually end up being threats..mostly idle. Yeah, I know, not helpful! I take things away…play dates, t.v’s, toys, events, etc. But when I hit my threshold, the deliverance of the punishment goes something like this… “(ROAR) I can’t believe you just did that.  (BARK) Apologize! (SNAP) Go to your room! (GROWL) No TV for a week! (RAWR!!)” Definitely, not ideal. I am sure that my verbal lashing is as awful as any spanking. ( Hangs head in shame) I hate the guilt of it and hate that I can not control my reactions. I am working on that. I was suggested the Magic 1-2-3 book ( actually I’ve had it collecting dust since Bella was born. I just never thought it would work). Today is the day I read that book and try something new. The roaring and frightening the children is not what I want to convey to them. I don’t want the lesson to be that Mommy is a lunatic. I just want them to understand that bad behavior is not rewarded and that actions have consequences. If any of you have any great ideas for punishing without anger, please share. I would love to hear them.
Today, I take the challenge and while being physically and emotionally present to what they are saying and doing, I will also be reacting with understanding and maturity….or ,at the very least, trying to do so. Baby steps! Baby Steps. I will let you all know how the Magic 1-2-3 works out! Happy Mothering!

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