web analytics
spy, spying on your teen, nanny cam, invasion of privacy

Would You Spy on Your Teen with a Hidden Camera?

by Deborah Cruz

Would you ever put a hidden camera in your teen’s room to spy on them?
Forget for a second about the invasion of privacy aspect, is there anything that you wouldn’t do to make sure that your child was alright? What if meant the difference between life and death? What if your child were in danger? Would you spy on your teen?

Last night, I read an interesting post on a parenting board. A divorced couple has a 15-year-old daughter and share custody. This past weekend the girl was staying the night with her father and stepmother. When she went to bed around 1:30 in the morning, she noticed a green light glowing near her vanity mirror. She went to investigate what was there, hidden beneath a scarf that was draped over the side of the mirror was a hidden camera. She freaked out and called her mother to come get her. She never wants to go back there again. I understand feeling like your privacy was violated, especially when you are an almost 16-year-old girl. I am sure that she was fuming.

Her mother took the situation to the boards to ask if she should call the police and file a report.  She asked her ex-husband why he had installed the camera and he said because when the girl is at his house, she is always in her room and he wants to know what she is doing. The mother openly admits to randomly spot checking the girl’s social media pages. As a person, I feel both are an invasion of privacy. As a mother, I can understand wanting to communicate with your child so desperately and being shut out that you would stop at nothing to make sure they are okay. No one wants to be the parent who missed the signs and ends up finding their child after they’ve committed suicide or accidentally overdosed.

READ ALSO: Protecting Your Privacy Online

Many of those on the board encouraged the mother to file charges, calling the dad a pervert. Honestly, I’ve had my diary read when I was a teen and I was flabbergasted. I was so pissed that someone would invade my privacy, reading my private thoughts. As a teen, I felt that if I had wanted her to know what was in my diary, I would have told her myself but really, there were things that I wanted to talk to her about and I just didn’t know how to bring it up. I was too embarrassed and she never asked so, I just suffered ignorantly through adolescence until I was older.

I don’t see a difference in this girl’s mother checking her social media and her father installing a camera. The commenters on the board automatically called the father a pervert but he’s her father, not a stepfather, not a stranger. I don’t think most fathers are capable of having sexual feelings for their own flesh and blood daughter. I think there was no sexually deviant aspect to this situation and it’s nothing more than a concerned father who desperately wants to know what is going on in his daughter’s head and wants to keep her safe. Granted, he needs to go about it in a way that is open and honest. Ask her.

READ ALSO: How to Talk to Your Tween About Sex

The camera was a definite invasion of privacy, as is reading someone’s diary and checking their emails and social media. But I think it’s crazy for all these strangers reading the mother’s board to automatically go to calling the father a pervert.

What do you think? Is daddy a pervert or just a concerned parent? If you thought your child might be getting itself into some kind of trouble, is there anything you wouldn’t do to protect her/him from harm?



You may also like

Leave a Comment

* By using this form you agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


Lizz 2013/04/22 - 11:30 am

I’m actually OK with spot-checking social media, as long as the teen is aware that that’s part of the agreement to HAVING those accounts.
But the nanny cam in a teen’s room? Creepy.

Deborah Cruz 2013/04/22 - 11:39 am

I agree that he went too far with the camera but I hate that people on the boards automatically call him a pervert.I just think that he probably had good intentions but went about it the wrong way and that should not label him a pervert. I mean that is nasty. Right?

Mandy Smith 2018/02/03 - 2:09 pm

Ok so here is my spin on this, yes it’s hard to talk to teens and you have to find a way to get on their level in this instance I don’t think it was necessary. I was considering one for my child so maybe some input could help.

I have a 16 year old son, who has a girlfriend and he’s completely open with me about EVERYTHING in his life, at least I believe he is. My husband, whom is a wonderful friend and step-dad to my son, because his dad pretty much abandoned him, and I have a disagreement about his friends. He has these 2 friends that come over and then don’t want to seem to leave. They always stay the night and I always give them rules no boys in girls in the same room. My son follows these rules but they don’t. So I’ve put a stop to it because I feel like they’re using our place as a crash pad, or motel. So opinions would you spy of course I would tell my son I was but it feels really awkward I feel like we’re all stuck because we don’t want to be rude but I feel like we’re being used.. opinions

Michael Lombardi 2013/04/22 - 1:02 pm

I feel like the camera is probably going a little too far. I do think that kids shouldn’t be entitled to the same level of privacy as adults, but I feel like there are absolutely times when a kid should expect privacy. When she’s naked, when she’s masturbating, when’s she’s picking her ass, when she’s dancing in her underwear and singing into her hairbrush.

I don’t think it’s fair to call the dad a pervert. That’s not enough information to make such a strong accusation.

I completely believe that my children do not have the right of privacy, however, they can earn the privilege through being responsible and trustworthy. If there was no trust, the door would come off its hinges. As a condition of having access to the internet or a phone, the kid would need to be aware that all activities will be monitored regularly.

Alex | Perfecting Dad 2013/04/22 - 6:25 pm

Dad could have just let the child know she was being monitored, or even better, he could have just asked what she was up to (he probably did, but in case). Of course, it would have negated whatever he was trying to catch her doing but then that would have been just as good as catching her and then putting a stop to it if it was objectionable. I am with you, I don’t think that family members should have much true privacy from the rest of their family members. I want to know everything my family does and I believe they should be able to know everything I do. Secrets are what start the distrust. Don’t know about the step mom though: Hopefully dad is sensitive about involving other people who are not her family in things like monitoring.

Kristen Daukas 2013/04/23 - 11:35 am

The video thing? No. That’s a complete invasion of privacy and if I have that little trust in my kid, I would just take the door off. As for the social media, if I have a reason to suspect they’re doing something they shouldn’t, I will investigate but that’s it. My girls know that it’s part of the deal that if they have a phone (that I pay for), it’s subject to random inspection. I’ve busted my oldest using less than pretty language and I didn’t ban her from the sites but rather used it as a lesson.

KalleyC 2013/04/23 - 12:22 pm

Tis is a hard call. The camera is something that I would totally would not do. But to go as far as to press charges against him, that’s crazy. He is her father.. As for social media, the only way for my kids to have those accounts is for me to know their passwords, and they can expect me to spot check every now and then. However, I am going to have one computer, and its in the living room.so if you are uncomfortable checking your email there, then we have to talk.

mrs.d 2013/04/23 - 1:43 pm

Unfortunately, there are many who have been molested by their fathers (flesh and blood – not step or adopted). It’s a disgusting and disturbing – but it happens.
My first reaction was that it is a perverted thing to do. To have a camera installed where your 16 year old daughter dresses and undresses — I find that disturbing.
I’m sure my parents wanted to know what I was doing when I locked myself in my room and wouldn’t come out.. They ‘invaded’ my privacy on more than one occasion, reading diaries, notes, e-mails. But, they never installed a camera to spy on me inside my own bedroom… To me that is wrong. Checking social media – that is one thing.. but the camera — I think that’s very wrong.

Corey Feldman 2013/04/23 - 7:23 pm

I wouldn’t nececarily jump to the conclusion that the dad is a pervert. But I also wouldn’t dismiss it out of hand either. It was extremely poor judgement at the least. I honestly don’t know what I would do, if I thought my kid was in trouble, but to go from zero to totally invasive and to something that at the least could be seen as possibly perverted in one jump is bad judgement. Social media and email, I would monitor that to a certain age. Not sure at 16 though. I can only hope I am never in the place that I would feel like I needed to.

But Mom, That’s Private! | unnecessarywisdom 2013/04/30 - 3:50 pm

[…] Would You Spy on Your Teen with a Hidden Camera? (thetruthaboutmotherhood.com) […]


This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More