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The TRUTH About Motherhood

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  • How Being a Father Has Changed Me

    How Being a Father Has Changed Me

    Continuing on with the celebration of the 2nd anniversary of The TRUTH about Motherhood, I am excited to introduce you all to today’s special guest writer, Josh of DadStreet.com.

    dadstreet,josh

    My name is Josh, I’m an East Coast Transplant currently living in Monterey, California.

    I’m completely and utterly in love with my children and when I’m not drooling over them I’m doing one of the following: drinking wine, taking pictures, playing with my iPhone, listening to an audio book, trying some kind of new food, surfing online, sleeping, watching TV, yappin’ on the phone, and last but not least trying to spend quality time with “The Boss”.  Oh, and I’m extremely sarcastic so please note that about 92% of what I say is crap.  True crap but crap nonetheless…

    I “met” Josh via Twitter and he is a really funny guy with a great sense of humor, a deep love for his wife and children and pretty damn snarkilicious for a Daddy. What’s not to love,right? So, if you are not familiar with Josh, please do yourself a favor and stop over at www.DadStreet.com and check him out. I would also highly recommend that you follow him on Twitter, he is a great conversationalist and will keep you on your toes. Thank you Josh for celebrating my 2nd blogiversary with me and sharing your TRUTH about Fatherhood!

    My Truth: How Being a Father Has Changed Me.

    I’m in love with more than one person. Growing up I wasn’t your typical “dude”.  For whatever reason I could only date one girl at a time.  I don’t mean I’d go out with one girl at 5:00 and then another at 6:00.  I mean, I’d always wind up being in a relationship with one girl, never dating around.  The thought of having feelings for more than one person at a time was just too confusing for me.  So there was no way I was going to juggle multiple girls.  It came as a surprise to me that I could love anyone other than my wife as much as I do.  Then even crazier was the notion I could love more than one baby.  I was so guilty when my wife was pregnant with Jake.  I was guilty because I felt like I was taking away something from O in order to give it to Jake.  Oh the guilt!  You’d think I was a Jewish mother I had so much guilt.  Oy Vey!  But you know what?  I can love more than one person and I do!  I love them all so much and each in their own way.  I’ve learned love is not quanitifiable and it knows no boundaries, certainly not when it comes to my family.
    I’m scared to death and fear nothing. Oh the things that scare me now that I’m a dad.  Moving cars in parking lots, sharp objects, choking hazards, stairs, illnesses, disease, crime, old playground equipment, unfriendly pets, earthquakes, fire,  Hello Kitty, and Barney.  Okay, the last two scare me but not quite like the rest.  The thing is becoming a dad made me realize how important these two are to me.  The thought of anything happening to them is almost inconceivable and just the remote thought of something bad fills my eyes with tears.  The reality though is quite different.  I know I don’t need to fear these things.  My babies can rely on me.  I will take care of them.  With everything in my power they will not fall victim to those things in my control.
    I’m relied on regardless of how reliable I am. Before being a dad I could goof up (often), make careless mistakes (often), and act irresponsibly with little recourse.  I’ve learned though that’s not going to be on the menu now.  Nope, Jake and O rely (very literally) on me for everything from food, water, and shelter to learned morals, values, and integrity (among many other things).  I have to be responsible now.  I owe it to them, they demand it, they deserve it, and they shall get it.  Might I slip up?  Might it take a while to get this kid (at least the bad parts of this kid) out of me?  It might but I’m going to give it my best and demonstrate to them what a reliable Dad looks like.
    I’m selfish but my children come first. I never thought of myself as a selfish person before.  Though it’s funny what you find when you actually look in the mirror.  I don’t think I was selfish in a mean, screw you kind of way.  It was more of an absent minded, I’m a big idiot kind of way.  Having Jake and O has made me realize they need to come first.  I had my time to myself first and now it’s time for them.  That doesn’t mean I should neglect my own needs, of course.  Just that my priorities need to be focused with their best interest in mind, they are my priorities now.
    I want to teach but haven’t been taught. A few months back I realized how awful our financial situation was.  I realized how many changes needed to take place, and fast.  One impetus for the change was that I wanted our children to be financially independent.  I didn’t want them to know what debt was.  I didn’t want them to be like their dad when it came to finances (at least the old me).  How could I teach them to be fiscally responsible if I couldn’t be myself?  I knew I had to first learn before I could teach.  This of course doesn’t just apply to finances but every important thing I want to pass on.
    They had no choice, I do. For the last 3 years and 2 weeks I’ve been a father.  My children didn’t have a choice who their father was going to be.  For most of my life I’ve known we had choices in which we make that determine where we go.  However, I wasn’t living that way.  Since having become a father I’ve started to truly grasp what it means to have a choice.  Many things have happened to me that I had no control over.  Things in the future will continue to happen to me and to my family under which we have no control over..  How I respond to these things, however, is directly in my power.  I have the choice to be the person I want to be.  I choose who I am.
    I want to be the father I want my children to have. I’d always wanted children, from a very young age..  I’d always thought about what it would be like having children.  I never thought so much about what it would be like to be a father though.  I have very high expectations for the type of father I want Jake and O to have.  Traits I’d want for their father include:
    Honesty, Integrity, Responsibility, Sensitivity, Thoughtfulness, Intelligence, Down right funny, Active, Supportive, Educative, Inspiration, Spirituality, Compassionate, Energetic, Charitable, and Dependability to name a few. Yeah, that was more than a few but who’s counting?
    Am I all these things now?  No, but I’m working on it and the important thing is I now know what it is I’m working towards.  We live our lives building what in the future will become our legacy.  Many of us will build our legacy without ever knowing what it was.  Being a father has taught me that I decide who I’m going to be and I determine what that legacy will be.  Now that I know what I want my legacy to be as a dad, I can pave the road to it.
    I want to show my children that they can build a path to whatever destination they want in life.  They can’t begin to build that path though if they don’t know where they’re going.  I know where I want to be and I know where I’m going.  I will take my children with me and teach them the same.  I have begun to learn what being a dad has taught me about myself.  I know that I will continue to learn, as being a dad is as much about teaching our little ones as it is about learning from the experience.
  • Fashion Haul Friday ~ Shit Wine Drinkers Say and a Fashion Winner

    Fashion Haul Friday ~ Shit Wine Drinkers Say and a Fashion Winner

    Wine, Fashion Haul Friday, Fashion Friday, Fashionable drinks

    Wine & Fashion go together like Love and Marriage

    Wine Drinkers and Winners ~First, I’d like to say thank you to all of you who entered the Karen Kane $100 Gift Certificate giveaway. It was a great success and the winner is Anna Pry! Congratulations Anna! There is so many beuatiful pieces to choose from, I’m sure the hardest part will be trying to decide which one to use your gift certificate on.

    If you didn’t win, I am sorry but remember Karen Kane has extended a 25% discount for all of The TRUTH about Motherhood readers; good from January 13, 2012 to February 13,2012. Just use the promo code TRUTHFULMOMMY! You know you want to.


    a Rafflecopter giveaway

    I have been sick all week and, as such, have not had a chance to get my fashion on. Sure, I could have just  pulled an amazing outfit off  of Polyvore.com or Pinterest but I like to have hands on experience with the pieces before I tell you to love them. So, in lieu of fashion this week, I am sharing with you something that is always in fashion..WINE and the Shit Wine Drinkers Say. Besides, when you are holding a glass of wine in your hand, don't people just look infinitely cooler? I think it's the wine goggles. This video is Soooooooooo Good!

    Shit Wine Drinkers Say

    I think we should all pass this post around #wineparty tonight so that everyone can get a good chuckle. I promise, "Not that I'm a wine snob" but this video is spot on.

    Wine is always in Fashion

    *Remember, here at The TRUTH about Motherhood I love my wine but I don't advocate dangerous behaviors such as texting while driving ,texting while drinking, driving while drinking, dressing little girls like hookers, or playing with rabid dogs. So be cool, stay in school, drink your wine after the kids go to bed and not while driving.[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

  • Soleil Moon Frye Happy Chaos from Punky to Parenting

    Soleil Moon Frye Happy Chaos from Punky to Parenting

    Happy Chaos ~ Isn’t that the exact spot where most mothers reside? I do and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Recently, I had the distinct pleasure of meeting (via Skype) the star of one my favorite childhood TV shows,(no, not Ricky Schroeder though that would certainly be nice too:) Soleil Moon Frye…PUNKY BREWSTER!Is it wrong that I was so geeked to speak with her? If it is, I don’t want to be right!

    Happy Chaos, Soleil Moon Frye

    In a way, Soleil Moon Frye never stopped being Punky, the fun- loving star of the 1980s hit television show Punky Brewster. In the real world, she’s the mom with the inside-out shirt and bits of playdough in her hair, who can’t remember where she parked the car. She balances being a mom with a hundred other tasks associated with running her eco-friendly clothing store The Little Seed, hosting her web series on HerSay.com, advocating for causes close to her heart, and being Target’s Mommy Ambassador, to name a few. As Twitter and Facebook communities can attest, Soleil’s life is messy and chaotic, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. Her book, HAPPY CHAOS: From Punky to Parenting and My Perfectly Imperfect Adventures in Between (on sale August 23,2011) is a refreshing take on modern parenting that encourages moms to be themselves and to embrace the inevitable madness of raising kids and living a full life.

    I met Soleil while being a Hot Topic guest on HerSay. She is as sweet and spunky as you could have imagined. She is very down to earth and talking to her felt like talking to one of the mom’s you might meet at the park or in one of your child’s Kindermusik classes. I was very excited when I found out that she was writing a book Happy Chaos From Punky to Parenting and My Perfectly Imperfect Adventures In Between ( in stores TOMORROW August 23,2011). The book is a refreshing take on modern parenting that encourages moms to be themselves and to embrace the inevitable madness of raising kids and living a full life. I’ll take one please.

    Happy Chaos is the place between perfection and destruction where bliss exists

    Soleil believes that “happy chaos” is a sign of a family operating at its best—when parents accept that they’ll make mistakes, there will be messes, tears and skinned knees. Her over 1.4 million Twitter followers know just how much Soleil lives this philosophy as she often shares with her real and virtual friends and family how she navigates the various obstacles of parenthood.

    I had the opportunity to interview Soleil about her parenting style and am sharing them here with you. Hope you enjoy getting to know Soleil on a more personal level as much as I did.

    What is the most profound way in which having your children has changed your life?

    I learn more and more each day from my children and I never imagined they would be life’s greatest teachers. Amen sister!

    If you were only allowed to leave your girls with three life lessons, what would they be?Why?

    The lessons would be

    1) to stay strong and always self-confident

    2) to be kind to others and the world around them.

    3) to love completely and not be afraid or fearful of what’s to come. To embrace every moment and lose themselves in the dash in between. These three lessons are amazing and I think every mother can relate. I know I certainly do.

    How has your perspective on parenting and the world changed from before you had your girls? What do you do or not do that you never thought you would before giving birth?

    Before kids, I thought I was going to be the total hippie laid back parent. I guess I am a bit more protective than I ever thought I would be.  Aren’t we all? Who knew having our hearts walking around outside our bodies would be so monumental.

    Happy Chaos is where true happiness lives

    Happy Chaos comes out tomorrow ( August 23,2011). I am giving away one signed copy to a lucky follower of The TRUTH about Motherhood. All you need to do is GFC follow The TRUTH about Motherhood or email susbscribe and leave me a comment about your own Happy Chaos (please include your email address). A winner will be chosen on Friday August 22, 2011.Or you can click Here to be one of the first moms on the block to own a copy of

    Happy Chaos

  • Protecting Your Privacy Online

    Protecting Your Privacy Online

    Privacy

    Online Privacy, what’s enough?

    Privacy Please. Blogging is very personal. When I started blogging, it was 1) to exercise my writing muscles 2) to keep a memory book of my children growing up and this time in our life. I never even took privacy into consideration. I just assumed I was writing, on my computer, and that was where it was staying…like writing in my diary as a teenager, but without the paper.

    I took the online name Truthful Mommy because I knew I wanted to be honest and by operating under a pseudonym, I could do that with a bit more ease. I wasn’t really too concerned about what I was going to write as much as I was concerned about who might find me by using my birth name; high school friends, people who hate me, people I know in real life who don’t know me as well as they might if they read my blog. People who were in Junior League with me, or on the school board or some of the Mom’s groups I was involved in at the time. I didn’t really want to hand them my diary.

    I wanted the freedom to express myself and the safety of a space where I could be true to the process. I didn’t want to be censored because, honestly, censoring your journals is lying to yourself about your history.Besides, doesn’t old age muddle the truth enough as it is; sundowners is a bitch and I know I won’t remember everything exactly as it happened when I’m 87. I didn’t want my children to one day read a lie. I wanted to be able one day to give them access to my blog and let them know that we have all been there. I wanted that connection. I want them to know that we are united as women and as mothers and I understand everything they are going through. I wasn’t thinking of privacy.

    I write honestly, irreverently and occasionally in a very raw manner. I find that, to this day still, I only want people that I don’t know in real life at all or that I know in real life but VERY well to read my blog. All the acquaintances and people I know from school, church, the local moms groups…I don’t want them to ever find me online. Ever. Father would be quite disappointed to know just how bad my potty mouth is. Yet, I started using my real name because I wanted to start working as a freelance writer and it just seemed more professional.

    My community grew from a handful of family members and friends in the last couple of years to an audience that is growing by the day upwards of 50,000+ if you include my blog page views, subscribers, GFC, Facebook, Twitter, Google +, Pinterest, Aiming Low, Smart Mom Style and the Stir.

    How much of your privacy are you willing to forfeit?

    I still write uncensored. I have to. This is my mission. My blog is called The TRUTH about Motherhood not I’m going to blow sunshine and unicorns up your ass about Motherhood. My honesty has gotten me some trolls to be sure. Not everyone will agree with me, nor do I expect or want them to. Variety is the spice of life and I like life spicy. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say that seeing my numbers rise, getting the feedback and having received my fair share of hate mail, it has made me rethink some things.

    For example, do you use your children’s photos in your blog? I used to have the pages of my blog filled with my girls’ photos and then I realized that when people don’t like what you say, they will take shots to hurt you wherever that might be. I can’t take that chance. So, there are seldom ever any recent photos of my girls on my blog anymore. It had to become, at least a little bit, about protecting the family on the web.

    I used to use names of people that I knew (I know, this is blogging 101 but I had no idea). I don’t do that anymore. I’ve never used my husband’s name, nor talked about the place I work. I don’t talk about where I live. You’ll never catch me on Foursquare because I don’t want to give people a road map to come stab me.

    I’m just wondering, what do you do to maintain your privacy online? It feels so personal that sometimes you forget that you are talking to the entire world and you never really know who’s listening. It could be someone who will give you the next greatest opportunity of your life or it could be the next Ted Bundy.

    We really never know who is sitting behind the screen talking to us because we are all anonymous online. Next time you tweet, update your status on FB or write a blog post, just remember that your boss could be reading it. Your mortal enemy could be reading it. Your best friend. The mean mom from yoga class. The guy whose heart you broke in 9th grade. Your priest could be reading it.

    Why did you start blogging? How much of yourself are you willing to give away? Where do you draw the line in what you publish? How do you protect your privacy online.

    I will talk more about ways to protect your privacy online in a follow up post about blogging.

    Privacy, how many of us have any?

    Photo Source

  • Shabby Apple Giveaway~ Two Lucky Winners Will WIN a $100 Gift Certificate

    Shabby Apple Giveaway~ Two Lucky Winners Will WIN a $100 Gift Certificate

    It’s Friday, so I’m giving you some gorgeous fashion via ShabbyApple.com. Many of you know that ShabbyApple.com sells gorgeous, vintage style dresses that are feminine and playful, yet modest and sexy. Believe me, I spend most of my days dressed in uber casual sub par yoga wear so I get pretty excited about clothing that makes me feel like a woman and not a house frau.

    I’ve featured Shabby Apple in the past and I am thrilled to be featuring them again today and giving away a $100 gift certificate provided by ShabbyApple.com to two of my lucky readers so that they purchase their favorite dress. Ladies, conference and wedding season is among us. Who doesn’t want a gorgeous dress to wear, especially one that is not your run of the mill off the rack dress that everyone else might be wearing type?

    The three dresses I chose to highlight today are ones that I own myself; the Belle de jour, Hydrangea and, my absolute favorite, Meant to Be. All three dresses are fully lined which is important to me since I am not 21 anymore and like to keep my goodies veiled in a light lining.

    shabby apple, shabbyapple.com,belle de jour,giveaway, fashion, review, fashion haul

    The Belle de Jour is a beautiful orange cream A-line dress, designed exclusively for Shabby Apple by Kacey Kalmar. It actually looks a little closer to a very soft pumpkin color, which I think is fantastic because it can parlay into a fall dress if you pair it with a light blazer or sweater. The dress is fully pleated. I am not normally a big fan of pleats because I have full hips but these pleats lay pleasantly flat and don’t seem to add any extra width where I least want it. The dress is 100% polyester with a charming attached ribbon and bow detail at the waist that adds just the right amount of fun.

    shabby apple, shabbyapple.com,hydrangea ,giveaway, fashion, review, fashion haul

     

    Kacey Kalmar also designs the Hydrangea dress. It is light hydrangea blue with a ruched waistband, an A-line skirt and is made with 100% cotton so it is very lightweight for warm spring and summer days but weighted enough so that it won’t fly up at the first gust of wind and leave you exposed. I hate when that happens. Hydrangea is made in the USA and machine washable, which is always a plus in my book. I don’t have free time for hand washing these days.

    shabby apple, shabbyapple.com,meant to be,giveaway, fashion, review, fashion haul

    The last dress, Meant to be, is my favorite. It is a Tiffany blue A-line dress with a full skirt and bow detail at natural waist. It is made of Polyester and Spandex with a 100% nylon lace shell. I love the way the lace drapes over the liner; it is very soft (not itchy as some lace can be) and gives you a very feminine silhouette. Bonus: it is machine washable! This dress is absolutely perfect for wearing to a summer wedding. It’s fresh, clean and beautiful.

    shabby apple, shabbyapple.com,twirl,giveaway, fashion, review, fashion haul

    Also, if you are in the market for a swimsuit this summer, ShabbyApple.com has beautiful vintage swimsuits that are sexy without being too revealing, perfect for those of us who want to show a little bit of skin yet keep it classy.  My favorite is the Twirl bathing suit.

    So what is your favorite ShappyApple.com dress? To enter to win one of the two $100 gift certificates just follow the Rafflecopter instructions. The contest will end at midnight next Friday, June 22, 2013. Mandatory entries include leaving a comment telling me your favorite Shabby Apple item and subscribing to The TRUTH about Motherhood , but you are already doing that anyways, right? This contest is open to readers over the age of 18 in the United States. Good luck to you all.

    At the Truth about Motherhood everyone’s a winner so even if you don’t win, here is a discount code for 10% off any ShabbyApple.com dress in their fan favorite section. The code is fanfavorite10off.

     

    a Rafflecopter giveaway

     

    All Photos courtesy of ShabbyApple.com

     

    Disclaimer: ShabbyApple.com has provided me with items to review and giveaway but all thoughts and opinions are all my own.
  • The Pioneer Woman Cooks: A Year of Holidays Giveaway

    The Pioneer Woman Cooks: A Year of Holidays Giveaway

    Ree Drummond has another fantastic cookbook coming out in just a couple of days, The Pioneer Woman Cooks: A Year of Holidays. If you are a blogger, you already know that Ree  Drummond is the Martha Stewart for busy moms. She is the only “expert” I need. She has a family to take care of, clothes to wash, kids to homeschool and a ranch to tend to yet she still manages to cook delicious meals and make it look easy. I’ve tried many of her recipes and I can attest to the fact that if you can boil water and follow a recipe you can make your family some awesome meals with the guidance of Ree. This latest cookbook  A Year of Holidays is a fantastic collection of tasty recipes, gorgeous photos and a  pinch of Ree’s signature humor sprinkled in to help you celebrate all through the year. You know you want it.

    Ree sent me a signed copy to have and I was pretty excited because, as you all remember from this past BlogHer, I am a fan of The Pioneer Woman. There is just something about the Lucille Ball, Ethel Merman, Vivien Liegh combination of Ree that just makes her far too endearing to not be. The accidental country girl, award-winning blogger, Food Network personality, and #1New York Times bestselling author not only curates the most scrumptious recipes, she is also one of the sweetest and kindest people on the Internet.

    The Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond, A YEar in Holidays, recipes, cookbook, giveaway

    In her latest book, Ree demonstrates how to ring in your favorite holidays with inspired menus for breakfasts, brunches, lunches, dinners, parties, deliveries, and feasts, accompanied by fun instructions and step-by-step photos. The Pioneer Woman Cooks: A Year of Holidays is filled with creative and flavorful ideas for intimate dinners, group gatherings, and family meals. It includes nineteen recipes for Thanksgiving alone.

    I have to say, aside from the Thanksgiving section, my favorites are Mother’s Day and Cinco De Mayo. My favorite recipe of all is the homemade tortillas. When I was little, I remember my own grandmother making homemade tortillas and they were just about the best thing I had ever tasted. As Ree would say they truly are the bomb diggity dog diggity bibbity bobbity boo! I never learned how to make homemade tortillas from my grandmother and she’s since passed so I am looking forward to making this recipe and teaching my daughters to make homemade tortillas.

    The book is full of great recipes to keep your family fed and beautiful photos of Ree’s own beautiful family and the recipe process. The Pioneer Woman Cooks: A Year of Holidays is a fantastic collection of a variety of dishes for every occasion. I told you that you’d want one.

    The Pioneer Woman Cooks: A Year of Holidays is available in stores October 29th but you can win your very own signed copy here at The TRUTH about Motherhood. I am giving away 3 copies. To enter to win all you need to do is be a subscriber to The TRUTH about Motherhood and leave a comment below telling me your favorite recipe from The Pioneer Woman. You can also earn extra entries via rafflecopter.  Contest starts today and will end Friday  November 1st at 11:59 pm.

    a Rafflecopter giveaway

  • Personal

  • OMG…Tomorrows my 1 year Anniversary of being a Mommyblogger

    I am  so excited! I just realized that tomorrow will be the 1 year anniversary of The TRUTH about Motherhood! Not sure what I will do to celebrate, as I will be relaxing my bootie off in celebration of Mother’s Day but I am sure I should do something spectacular. After all, it marks a whole year since I started my quest to follow my dreams and exhaust my potential. It’s not every day one gets off their ass and actively starts pursuing their dreams. I believe The TRUTH about Motherhood was my Mother’s Day gift to myself, last year. If you’d like to see some of the posts from that first month, please click here! Thank you for a wonderful year of catharsis, friendship, practice of my craft and pursuance of my dreams! Hoping there will be many more years and maybe a little more pursuance and even some fulfillment in the near future! Loving being a Mommy Blogger!!! Happy Mothering!

    XOXO TRUTHFUL MOMMY

  • Parenting

  • Disney On Ice presents Worlds of Fantasy Giveaway

    Disney, Disney on Ice, Worlds of FantasyGuess who’s taking her girls to see Disney on Ice presents Worlds of Fantasy? This Mommy. My family loves all things Disney so I was pretty stoked when I was invited to attend and review the show. It’s always a special treat when your work can include your children. It’s the best of both worlds, really. (more…)

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