The TRUTH About Motherhood

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Love Letter from a Mother’s Heart
This is my love letter from a mother’s heart for my daughters. For all the days of my life, I carry you in my heart. I carry your heart with me and I give you mine in return; a love letter from a mother’s heart. In the few and far between quiet moments of motherhood, I often contemplate what the great lessons are that I want to impart upon my daughters. What wisdom that I can share to make them better people, to make their lives easier and more full before they are grown and I am in the letting go stage.
READ ALSO: Love Letter to my daughter on her 7th birthday
My hearts I write you this love letter from a mother’s heart,
Live your life with integrity: Do not compromise your beliefs, your faith, and your morals. Fight to win but fight clean. Always stand up for what you believe in, even if it is the unpopular opinion.
Be Yourself: You are the best you that there will ever be. No one can do you like you. You are a one of a kind. You may not always feel that you fit the mold, but that is because you are special. Everyone is special in his or her own way. Know that always.
Live your life honestly: Always be honest with yourself and honest with others. There is no room for lies. It fosters distrust and a disingenuous perception of the kind of person that you are in your life. Wear your honesty with pride.
Family first: Always put family above all else. You may not always like them but always love them. Friends, careers, money will all come and go in your life but when you need unconditional love, and support your family will always be there.
Your sister is your best friend; no matter if you pull one another’s hair today. She will be the one who will hold your hand when you welcome your first baby into the world. She will know your sorrow when your father and I are no longer here. She will keep your secrets and love you always.
Live your life with respect: Have a deep and abiding respect for who you are and others will treat you with respect. Always respect others; beliefs, their choices, and how they carry themselves in the world. You do not have to agree but you cannot condemn a man because his beliefs or ways are not your own. There is room enough for all of us.
Love: Love big and love hard. When/if it doesn’t work out, mourn the loss and move on. You will have many loves in your life, enjoy and experience them all for their purpose. They are making you ready for your great love.
Faith; My child, have the same faith and love for yourself that you do in your friends, your family, and your God. You are amazing!
Be fearless; do not let anyone tell you that you can’t do anything because if you set your mind to something, where there is a will, there is always a way. Always. Perseverance, hard work and dedication to your dreams are the recipe for exhausting potential and pursuing passions. Do this always.
Breathe. Slow down and enjoy the people and experiences in your life. Life is short but it is amazing and the adventures you will have along the journey and the people you will meet can never be replaced. Walk gingerly on your journey of life and do not run the race.
Be happy. If it makes your heart smile and enriches your life do it. Don’t care about what other people think. There are little moments of bliss that we may never know because we are too busy worrying about what others think is relevant. Follow your heart.
With All the Love a Mother’s Heart can hold (to the moon and back again)
I love you and will always be here for you, no matter what you do, who you become or mistakes you may make. A mother’s love is here to pick you up when you stumble when you fall. Therefore, know this always. Even when I am gone you will always be with me in my heart.
READ ALSO: When a tattoo heals your heart after a loss
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it
e.e. cummings
What lesson or wisdom would you impart upon your child? What would you want for your child to carry with him or her in their heart?
What would your love letter from a mother’s heart say to your child?
2012/02/26
The First Moments are the Messiest
The First Moments are the Messiest~ As a parent, there are many, many messy moments in life. Diaper blow outs in the middle of the night, food that never quite seems to make it into a toddler mouth, lost scavenger hunts for Cheerios and Goldfish, mud pies at preschool, wayward finger paint and watercolor mishaps, vomit, spit up, and every body fluid imaginable will end up on a parent’s person at one time or another, spilled milk, smashed birthday cake,grass stains from first soccer games, dance make-up wiped on tiny leotards, blood from skinned knees and tear stains from broken hearts; these are the messy moments in life. But the messiest moment in life is the most profound; the collective moments in life where a woman becomes a mother, a man becomes a father and a dream becomes a reality…the moment of life… the moment that a baby is born.
The Messiest Moments are where the Memories are Made
The Moments that you Will Never Forget
The Messy Moments are where Life Happens

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh
No matter what mess my house may be in, no matter how many crushed crackers, smushed gummy bears, random overturned sippy cups filled with spoiled organic milk, surprise soaked night time diapers I may find under the bed or behind a dresser, I never mind the mess because out of all these chaotically messy moments comes the loving and the living. Spilled grape juice on creme colored carpets, crayons on walls, marker mustaches on little girls are all fondly remembered in my heart as benchmark milestones of motherhood. Those most present moments, those quiet and surreal moments right before I met my daughters are the messiest and most profound of my life. What was your messiest moment in parenthood?
I received information about Clorox’s Bleach It Away campaign and am sharing my messy moment for the chance to win prizes from The SITS Girls. To learn more about the messy moments program, check out www.BleachItAway.com. Sharing your story on the Clorox fan page gets you entered for the chance to win $25,000 and daily prizes, and you can grab a coupon for Clorox® Regular Bleach. Share your messiest moments.

2011/11/09
The Breast Milk Baby Doll Dooms the Free World
The Breast Milk Baby Doll Dooms the World, or that’s what some people would have you think. By now, I’m sure all of you social media savvy parents have heard the controversy of this completely innocent doll. The doll which is manufactured by Berjuan toys is simply a cute baby doll that comes in 6 styles ( male, female, variety of ethnicities) and can simulate a breastfeeding baby. It helps little girls to simulate being just like their Mommy. I think it’s sweet, precious even. Just like I did when my oldest child would simulate feeding her babies while I breastfed my youngest. How could anyone find it offensive? It’s not like the manufacturers are suggesting you make ice cream from the simulated breast milk? Isn’t breastfeeding the most natural thing in the world? It’s part of the magic of motherhood, right?
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If this looks sexual to you, YOU are the one with the problem…not this little girl.
The Breast Milk Baby Doll
The breast milk baby doll comes with a small apron that is outfitted with 2 small flowers on the chest area that are magnetized and cause a “suckling” when the baby doll is drawn near. The doll’s purpose is help children learn to be more nurturing and loving, not perverts as some would have you believe. It’s not a blow job baby, now is it? Now, that would be sexualization.
It really irritates me that people would get so up in arms about a doll that is emulating a natural, wholesome way to nurture future babies. Nobody gives a rats ass if our little girls play with dolls that take bottles, wear pampers, cry, pee, poop and eat pretend baby food (which by the way I totally do give a rats ass about! Dude, who do you think has to clean up all that simulated pee and poop? ME! One more diaper to change! Now, that’s offensive.) But the minute you throw a doll that perpetuates a more natural lifestyle, people cry sexualization. How is breastfeeding sexualization? Jeez, it’s not like that Single Ladies video of scantily dressed children from last year. It’s a suckling baby doll, people!
The Breast Milk Baby Doll
I, personally, think if ANYONE sees another person breastfeeding and finds the experience arousing or sexual …they are the person with the issue. They are the pervert. If it were a doll that necessitated a simulated sexual encounter to release it from it’s box, I’d consider that sexualization. But just because a company happens to be pioneers in providing a doll that does what millions of little girls have been doing for thousands of years does not make the breast milk baby doll the doom of the free world.
The Breast Milk Baby Doll
What are your thoughts on this doll? Would you be offended if you saw a child “breastfeeding” their “baby”? Why? Why not? Would you buy your child the Breast milk Baby Doll?[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]
2011/07/20
Mommy Bloggers of the World Unite
Call to action: Mommy Bloggers of the world Unite.
I have the greatest job in the world. I am a Mommy. On top of that, I am a Mommy Blogger; triple bonus. I adore my life on most days. I can’t even tell you how much I love combining two of my greatest passions in the world. But there is only one problem, financially speaking, being a Mommy blogger is almost as thankless and unpaid a job as mothering. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE doing both (on most days) but thus far it seems there is a lot of assumption that I owe people something.
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Photo courtesy of Google image/ Photographer name not available
I love being a Mommy and parenting. I may not be paid in money but I am certainly compensated in hugs and kisses, “I love you”s, pride and joy. There is something about giving and receiving unconditional love that transcends any monetary value. It is truly priceless. So, really, parenting may be some of the hardest work that I’ve ever done but it is not without its reward. It has changed me in ways that I could not have ever fathomed and it has made me a better person in the world. Truly.
Being a Mommy blogger, I really enjoy meeting new people and connecting via social media. Seriously, these connections have saved my life on many occasions. Being able to share my journey of motherhood through blogging has been a dream come true in many ways. Many of the Mommy Bloggers that I know are quite frankly brilliant. These women know the ins and outs of social media, can light up Twitter like a Christmas tree, get a cause out on Facebook in lightening speed and blog change better than any so-called professional. It’s because we have learned by hands on experience. We are living social media. For so long, moms have needed a connection to the outside world while being home all day with little people. You can’t teach the social media savvy we have. It comes from experience and a place of authentic enthusiasm. We love what we do and we are good at it. We are influential through our connections via our loyal blog communities, our Facebook friends, Twitter followers and all the other social media outlets we allow ourselves to become productive members of on a daily basis.
Mommy Bloggers of the World Unite
My issue is that for some reason, many brands think that we should work for free. It’s insulting! I have been approached to write dissertations in exchange for lip-gloss, spread drug propaganda for FREE and plaster my sidebar with widgets in exchange for dildos. What am I? A whore? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for supporting a brand that I love. Hell, I’ll shout it from the rooftops. Why wouldn’t I spread it like wildfire if I had the world’s best camera or tried the universe’s best weight loss program? I’m not greedy. I want to share the good news with my friends, family and readers.
But if I take the time and effort to truly experience your product/brand and write an honest product review don’t I deserve to be paid in actual money? Seriously, you are not my children so you can’t pay me in hugs, kisses and ‘I love you’s. You will never compensate me in pride or grandchildren. No thank you on the dildos, lip-gloss and the toilet paper, for that matter. And if one more person asks me to write a post for coupons I may reach through the computer and across the Internet and choke someone out. If I do it for free that’s called a favor and I’m pretty sure that we are not friends, so what would motivate me to write about your product for free? Would you ask your doctor to operate on you, as a favor? Would you ask the waiter to let you have your food gratis, as a favor? Would you ask your dentist to do your root canal, as a favor? No. Hell no, you wouldn’t and you’d feel stupid for even considering asking it. But why is it OK for you to ask me to spend my time, my effort and my skill doing you a favor? Bloggers are people too. We deserve to be paid for our skill, for our marketing capabilities and for our reach. Because remember, we have something just money can’t buy..loyal readers, earned trust and WE CAN BLOG IT with integrity.
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Image of Rosie the Blogger, © Michael Licht
So, fellow Mommy Bloggers please stand united with me and demand that you be compensated for your time, your effort and your skill. Let the world know that we may be cheap but we are not easy and we’re certainly not free. Every moment a Mommy blogger spends writing about your brand is a moment we are sacrificing with our children and that time is precious and should be compensated accordingly. (*Thank you Lauren for reminding me of that important point.)
Mommy Bloggers of the World Unite
Button can be found under the “buttons” tab at the top of page.
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2011/06/22
Earth Day 2011 ~Raising Environmentally Aware Children
Earth Day 2011 is almost upon us. What are you planning on doing with your children to save our planet? Can’t we all stand to be a little greener? I KNOW we can in my house. Sure I take steps to be kind to the earth but when I get too busy or things get “inconvenient” all the “Green” goes out the door. So this Earth Day, I am committing to taking some steps ( with my children) to be kind to the earth. Are you? I partnered up for an exciting Earth Day project with Nickelodeon, the National Wildlife Federation and The Motherhood.com. I signed up to be a B Kind 2 Earth Day leader for my state. You can be one too. Just sign up here. Here are a few ideas to get you started.

Photo courtesy of Google
Water
1. Use only the water you need, and reuse when possible.
*Rain barrels can be used to collect rain and then you can use it to water a family garden.
*Bathe together. Put the kids in the tub together. Shower with your kids or your husband. It’s saves water, creates memories and nurtures the bond between siblings.
2. Dispose of solid and liquid wastes and medications safely.
*Take advantage of medication take-back programs or household hazardous waste collection programs that accept medications, pharmaceuticals, oil, paint and other liquid wastes.
3. Protect your local water source from pollutants, excess pesticides and garbage.
*Everyone lives in a watershed — the area that drains to a common waterway, such as a stream, lake, estuary, wetland, aquifer, or even the ocean — and our individual actions can directly affect it. For example, watch the weather and apply necessary chemicals when the rain won’t wash them away, and dispose of livestock or pet’s waste appropriately or litter off the ground.

Image courtesy of Google, View Courtesy of Mother Nature!
Air
1. Pass on gas! Take public transportation, carpool, plan your day to reduce trips and vehicle emissions.
2. Make sure your home’s air is healthy, learn about indoor air pollutants from indoor energy use and toxins.
3. Reduce your potential for exposure to mercury.
4. Plant a tree. Or plant many trees! Plant a garden. Plant a vegetable garden.
5. Prevent additional air pollution by finding alternatives to burning your waste.

The air we breathe, the life we live
Land
1. Use pesticides safely! Reduce or eliminate where possible.
2. Learn about composting, try it out!
3. Learn about ‘Greenscaping’! Try it out at home and promote it in your community.
*By simply changing your landscape to a Green- Scape, you can save time and money and protect the environment.
*Save time by landscaping with plants that require less care
*Save money by eliminating unnecessary water and chemical use
*Protect the environment by:
*Conserving water supplies.
*Using chemicals properly and only when necessary to keep waterways and drinking water clean.
*Reducing yard waste by recycling yard trimmings into free fertilizer.
4. Learn about the native species and the negative effects of non native plants and animals in the environment. Plant native species in your gardens, encourage important pollinators such as bees and birds by planting gardens full of their favorite plants. Join a team in your community that removes non-native species.

Photo Courtesy of my Brother in Law

Energy
1. Save energy at home Choose energy-saving appliances if they’re available. Look for Energy Star!
2. Hang dry your clothes.
3. Go renewable! Create your own power from wind, the sun, water, or biofuels.
4. Find alternate ways to reduce use of diesel and other fuels for transportation, production and energy.
Waste
1. Reuse. Upcycle! Take something that is disposable and transform it into something of greater use and value.
2. Recycle metals, plastics and paper
3. E-cycle Recycle and/or properly dispose of electronic waste such as computers and other gadgets
4. Don’t litter! Properly dispose of trash and waste

Photo courtesy of Google

This Earth Day, my family will spend the day outside and unplugged; being mindful of our footprint. We will be staying around our home, working in our garden. I also think it’s time to teach the girls about how to separate the recyclables. On a daily basis, my girls are mindful of their footprint and the older they get the more I will explain. For now, they can help by turning off lights, separating recyclables, not wasting, bathing together, buying locally grown organic foods, helping Mommy hang the clothes on the line and remember the reusable grocery sacs. Life is good. Let’s help it stay that way but raising responsible, socially and environmentally aware children.
The world is a beautiful place and we are allowed to marvel and enjoy her on a daily basis! Please take care of her! Recycle. Reuse. Reduce! Happy Earth Day 2011! The link I am including is a link to great ideas for Earth Day activities to do with your children. Go to a National park, the local farmers market, just go outside and enjoy the marvelous planet of ours! And remember to be #kind2Earth!
https://holidays.kaboose.com/earthday-activities.html

2011/04/17
Fashion Police, Puh-Lease!
There is nothing quite as sobering as walking around a “fashion” mall after having children. Instantly, I am aware that since having my children, my body has shifted and contorted in ways that no longer allow “fashion” to fit me the way it used to ~ the way it’s supposed to…the way in which it would actually look “fashionable”. No, instead I end up looking like a sausage in an ill fitted casing..in silk bloomers. Let’s just call it what it really is #Fashionfail.
Next, I realize that since having my girls, I don’t actually have any extra money lying around to afford high “fashion”. Hell, I can’t even afford a low fashion makeover. Well, that is NOT entirely true. I can afford it. Or I could, if all my assets were fluid and not tied up in, oh I don’t know, private school tuition, ballet, soccer, headbands, tutus, kids concerts, enough toys to fill my very own Toys R Us, organic food, $8 gallons of milk, doctors, dentists, clothing and shoes for said children.It’s like a gave birth to two of the most adorable little money pits on the face of the earth. I give willingly but at times, like my visit to the “fashion” mall, I am slapped across the face with my sacrifices.
Finally, I try to just give in and let myself visit a place I’ve not been in many years..you know what I’m talking about. That place in your mind where you gingerly ( as if I’ve been able to gingerly do anything since having kids) linger over beautiful clothes, outfitting yourself in your head. Perusing books and art. Fingering the purses and admiring the shine of some audaciously over priced piece of silver jewelry. You know, something oh so Bo-Ho chic.Trying on multiple pairs of lovely shoes in every possible style, color and heel height available. You remember, pull back ..way back, into the recesses of your mind…shopping. Ahhhh, exhale.Isn’t it absolutely fabulous? I used to be that woman who would shop all day long, until I found the perfect ensemble. The perfect piece of jewelry. The perfect heel. I thrived there, between the racks and amongst the other shoppers.So, when I walked into Anthropologie ( already devastated at my state of affairs) you can imagine the deflated feeling that overcame me when the moment I eyeballed something of splendor…my 3 year old began to whine. The Big Guy heavily sighed in aggravation and my 5 year old said, “I want to go someplace else!” Apparently, I am not even allowed the simple courtesy of being able to window shop in peace. They have taken one of my most sacred past times and turned it to shit….in a matter of minutes.
I left thinking, forget the fashion mall, who needs a $300 shirt anyways? Nobody NEEDS it but damn it, what I wouldn’t give to have the option to decide of my own volition if I even wanted to buy the damn thing.On most days, I LOVE my girls so much that I can’t stand it. But after the trip to the “fashion” mall, I can’t decide if I’m excited for them to be teenagers and enjoy “shopping” with me (of course, then I still won’t be able to shop because again I will be buying everything for them) or perhaps, I am excited for them to be excited to shop so that I can return the favor and NOT let them enjoy their shopping experience. Turn about has to be fair play in motherhood, right? I mean, my mom wished on me a child exactly like me and I got two. The least I can do is dole out some karma, right? Isn’t that my Mommy duty?

2011/04/11
Mothers and Daughters~When the Apple falls Nowhere Near the Tree
Mother and daughters, I never could have imagined the extent of the importance this relationship would someday hold in my life. The very words mother-daughter relationship conjure so many deep emotional reactions that it can be overwhelming at times. My daughters, from the moment that I saw their little hearts beating as a blip on the ultrasound, felt those very first faint flutter kicks in utero and pushed them out into the world, I knew. I held them in my arms and saw all the good that the world has to offer in their eyes. From these small moments, they were more important to me than the sum total of anything and everything else I have ever done in this world or will probably ever do. My girls are everything that has meaning in my world.
I know this sounds very 1950’s housewife of me.I am perfectly aware of the irony of it all.Just as my husband was everything I never knew I always wanted in a man, motherhood has proven to be everything I never knew I always wanted. It has grabbed hold of me and filled me in ways that I never even knew I was empty.
Sometimes, in those quiet moments when the girls have gone to bed and the house is still, that moment of the day when I can finally exhale, I catch myself elated in the fact that no matter how hard this mothering may be, at the end of the day there is no place else that I’d rather be.It is a lot of hard work and I’m learning to be a better person for these little people.They make me want to be the best me that I can be. Even when I’m at my worst, I am better because of them.
I’m sure you can understand why it pains me to realize that I have never had this relationship with my own mother, at least not from my perspective. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother and I respect her, as does she love and respect me. How do I explain this? She and I are completely opposite in every way that two people can be opposite. The only thing that we share is blood and our love for one another.
It makes me wonder, if she and I started out at this point where my daughters and I are now? If so, what happened? This frightens me and saddens me in ways that I can’t even bring myself to verbalize. What if some day my daughters feel like we have nothing in common?
What if they look at me and don’t see any part of themselves? What if they love me but don’t know me? I can’t bear the thought. Mothers and daughters should share more than just DNA, there needs to be a bond of unconditional love and unwavering understanding. I am working to try and bridge the gap that lies between us but it is a slow process. I want to look at my mother and know that I am part of what fills her world with pulchritude.I want to know for certain that once upon a time, I was her everything and she was mine.
Is your relationship with your mother anything like your relationship with your daughter? How are they different?How are they similar?
2011/04/05
How a Backbend Almost caused my Untimely Demise
I hear friends say all the time, “Oh ,how I would love to be 18 again!” I never really thought about it because, to be honest, I feel about 18 on most days. But this past weekend, I was trying to show my girls how to do a back bend. Yes, you heard me a right…a back bend. I have every intention of showing them how to back bend, somersault, cartwheel, back flip, split, roller skate, ice skate..all of it. I never , ever took into consideration that I am not actually 18 anymore. I am more like two 18 year olds.Fuck, I am the sum total of two, non jail bait, grass on the field ( well, technically not) Miley Cyrus’. Shit, I feel old. After,I commenced to show them how to walk down the wall and gracefully (ahem) and easily (bwahahaha) come into a back bend. I stood up and not only did my back hurt, my thighs hurt, and not only did they hurt, my wrists hurt ( from bearing the weight of my entire body) and even my shoulders and clavicle ached. WHAT? Who am I? When did this happen? I work out and I have been lifting littles consecutively for almost 6 years but obviously there is no substitute for youth. You know that thing most of us squander on late nights, tanning beds, one night stands, hangovers, and making complete asses of ourselves?
So, it got me thinking..maybe I would prefer to “go back” but not to 18 ( No way..that was high school before all the “real” fun began) Here are 10 reasons that I’d want to be 25 again:
- I was in the best shape of my life.I’m not going to lie;I was working out like a maniac and I was a whopping 113 lbs at almost 5’8″. I was hot! ( Did I really just say that?) I could eat just about anything I wanted without ramification. Between my high metabolism,constant working out and an unhealthy side order of eating disorders I was set ~Of course, if I were still that size, there is no way I could wrangle these two beautiful giants I have given birth to. They’d pull me off in every which direction, like the dog does.
- I could function on NO sleep and still look glowing and be in a pleasant..honestly chipper mood. How I could use this trait now. I never sleep, my eyes look like I am hoarding luggage, not Louis Vuitton luggage some really cheap knock off JC Penny luggage, it is not pretty. How I would love to be able to wake up and not need to head directly for the Keurig. Or just wake up and be in a great mood for my girls.
- It was the year I had my first very own apartment BY MYSELF,with no roomie of any sort.Do I even need to say more? Not that I don’t love sharing my life with the Big Guy and my girls, but does it have to be EVERY waking moment. I just want to be able to walk into a room, sit down in a chair and take a breath for 5 minutes without someone or something needing something from me. To just be. I hear all of you sighing, I know you know what I mean.
- I had a million friends. I had so many friends, it was ridiculous in a really fabulous way. I always had plans and places to go , people to see…people and things I actually wanted to do, not was obligated to do. You know how hard it is to make a good Mommy friend. It’s like winning the lottery. First you have to find a woman that you like,then she needs to have kids that you like and your kids can get along with ( no punching, biting, body slamming or fights tot he death over sippy cups or Barbie dolls) and then ( If the fates allow) your husbands have to get along. In 11 years of marriage and almost 6 years of having children, I have 2 friends who meet this stringent criteria. 2!!!! Oh, how I miss my million friends.
- I had a killer wardrobe. I didn’t have a lot of money because I was still in college BUT I had that rocking body and great taste.I’m not sure if it was the rocking body that made everything look good ( you’ve heard the saying “She’d look good in a paper bag”? Well, that was me for a few years), or that damn fresh glowing skin, or if the clothes were just that cute. Maybe it was because I actually bought myself clothes.Or maybe it was because I was always out and was super aware of what was in style and what was not. I don’t know. All I know is I had a smoking wardrobe and shoe collection. Man, I miss being selfish.
- I was free spirited and fun loving.I could nap if I was tired, eat when I was hungry, go out, stay in, hop in the car and go for impromptu road trips. Now, everything I do has to be scheduled and coordinated in advance. So much for spontaneity.7 bags and a stroller have to be packed. Snacks, DVDs, kids music, milk,toys, games, babies, extra clothes, umbrellas, jackets,boots,…my head is spinning just writing this list. I always have to be expecting the unexpected and more than that, prepared for the unexpected.It’s exhausting.
- I had no responsibilities.I had no bills! NO BILLS! Rent and cable, that makes me laugh.I can barely keep a straight face thinking about how simple I was. I would actually blow a damn donkey at this point in my life to have NO BILLS! No mortgage.No utilities.No SCHOOL loans. No tuitions. No car payments. NO SCRIP. No credit car bills. No consolidation loans. No organic groceries. No ballet.No Homeowners association dues.Of course, with all these “bills” comes the life we want for our girls so I guess this is the price of suburban domesticity.I have a love hate relationship with it. I love it. I hate paying for it. Well, I hate paying through the nose for it.
- My skin was glowing, my body was supple and flexible.Youth! Talk about not knowing what you’ve got til its gone ( Damn you, Cinderella and your crazy lyrics) I took everything for granted because it was just there at my disposal. Now, I am having to work double time to moisturize me skin, stay fit and healthy the right way, and be able to do simple things like teach my girls the back bend and splits without herniating something or ending up in traction. I just wish I wasn’t having to spend more time of the less time I have available to simply do maintenance.
- I had finally figured out my place in the world and I was full of self confidence ( not as much as I am today but pretty close).More importantly, I exuded confidence. I actually felt comfortable in my own skin or as close as I could at that time. Then motherhood came along and, even though it is the most awesome thing I will ever do and it is so important to me, it knocked me on my ass. It made me lose confidence in who I was and what I could do. I had no training and I am a perfectionist. By becoming a mother, in a lot of ways, I had to relinquish control. This leaves me feeling less than adequate at times and not so comfortable in my skin. But I’m working on it and I’m getting there. It sure would nice to have some of that confidence or maybe it was blissfully, happy naivete back.
- I spent every waking moment with the Big Guy.The Big Guy and I met and within a week we were dating exclusively. We literally spent every waking moment ( with the exception of when we were supposed to be in class) together and it was never enough. That year is when we got engaged.He was my drug and I could not get my fill.There was never a lull or hesitation, just constant inquisition and even our quiet was full. These days, we only get to see one another on the weekends. The problem is we feel the same.He’s still my drug and I can’t get enough of him in my life. I love him and like him with every fiber of my being, even when I am exhausted and overwhelmed and overextended. He is my reprieve. He is my soft place to land. I want to spend more waking moments with this man. What a great example of a strong relationship for our daughters we could be if we were in the same place. I’m working on that too.
In recollection, my 25th year seems like it was my golden year ( which literally it was) but there was one thing seriously lacking from that year that I would not trade all the rest for, not even all the wonderment and freedom of youth…my girls. If I need to work a little harder to lose 10 pounds, sleep a little longer, moisturize a little more, eat a little less, save a lot more, it’s all worth it in the end.I’d rather be right where I am today than 25 and not with my girls. Babies, even at my best…I’m better with you!
2011/01/24
Tooth Fairy, Why your Kid Might Think She’s Creepy
Recently, it seems that my girls are growing up at lightning speed. The things they say, the mannerisms, the reading, the attention to detail in their looks, and especially the observations that they make of the world, blow my mind. Here is one of Bella’s gems, as of late. Hint: She thinks the tooth fairy is creepy.
Bella recently lost her very first tooth. It was right around Halloween. She was very excited. Her father and I were (let me honest) pretty sad because, you see, this represents her growing up. This is just another first part of letting go. Bet you never knew losing baby teeth had such a deep meaning, did you?
Though we may not be thrilled about what it symbolizes, you know we had to make a BIG GIGANTIC deal about it. This is the FIRST tooth. Grandma sent a little satin pillow to place the tooth in and put under my Bella’s pillow and there was a little book to record the moment. I snapped pictures and wiped away a tear*sniff, sniff* Another magical, mythical character to complete this childhood fantasy in the books.
It was time to perform our parently duties and perpetuate the myth of the tooth fairy for the first time. We were officially going to be a part of the problem.
It happened on a Thursday, in the middle of the night and Bella told me that she wanted to wait for her Daddy to be home, so he could be part of this momentous occasion. Friday comes, the Big Guy is home, while he and I are hushedly discussing the going rate for a first tooth these days and deciding whether or not one of us had to hit the ATM, Bella walks right up to us and delivers this proclamation;
“Mommy and Daddy, I don’t think I am going to put my tooth under my pillow tonight!”
We look at one another bewildered. We’d been waiting for this milestone first tooth to fall out and the tooth fairy to come. Did I mention she had been waiting for this tooth to fall out since she started kindergarten and all the other kids were missing teeth?
Me:” Why not, sweetie?”
Bella:” Well, Mommy, I was thinking about it and it’s pretty creepy that the tooth fairy comes in the middle of the night and steals my tooth!”
I shake my head in agreement. My husband is stifling his laughter because really he is just a giant 10-year old, plus it was pretty freaking funny. She was dead serious!
Me:” Well, Bella, the fairy doesn’t really steal it. She takes your tooth away and leaves you some money. She buys it!”
Bella: “Mommy, I don’t think my teeth are for sale!”
It’s hard to argue with reason and determination. Y’all know that lying is not my forte anyway. These white lies are one of the hardest parts of motherhood for me.
At least we didn’t plot to murder the tooth fairy

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So the kid’s got a point. It is a pretty creepy idea of some little freaky tooth obsessed fairy coming into your bedroom, in the middle of the night, and stealing your discarded teeth away. Who does my Bella think is coming? The tooth fairy? Or the Chupacabra?
Tooth Fairy; Reasons You Shouldn’t Promote this Childhood Myth
In exchange, the fairy leaves the child a little monetary token on their nightstand, like a John would do for his hooker. It’s all very seedy. Perhaps, we should have given this story a little more thought.
I could not in good conscience argue this point with her.
I simply told her: “Bella, you don’t have to give your tooth to the tooth fairy tonight. We can just hold on to it and when /if you decide to leave it for the fairy, we can do that too, OK?”
Bella looks at me perplexed and then she has a eureka look on her face.
Bella: “Mommy, why don’t you and Daddy just give me the money and you can keep the tooth!”
Uh oh, the jig is up before it even began. I back peddled and told her something about angering the tooth Gods and throwing off the natural balance of the universe or something to that effect(who can remember, I was floundering to save her childhood) and then I quickly exited the room with her innocence intact.
Now that I think of it, I should have just agreed to her request to pay her for her teeth and saved myself some headaches.
Whew! What’s next? The Easter Bunny? Fairy Godmothers? Santa Claus? Unicorns? Somebody slow down this ride, I want to get off. Where are the brakes?
What do you do when your child starts questioning the fictitious people in their lives like the tooth fairy?

2010/12/02
The Perfect Man
I’ve been tagged by Naomi from Organic Motherhood with Coolwhip to describe my perfect man. To be honest, I am happily married to the Big Guy for 11 years now and the idea of being single again is one that is so far removed from my brain that I’m pretty sure that I’ve forgotten how to do/be it at all. Not to mention, I’d probably rip my hair out going through that process again.I was young the first time.I was hot. It was easy:)However, before I was married to my Big sexy, world traveling, soul mate of mine I had much different criteria.I think hot, a pulse, and a bad attitude were the only requirements. Let’s leave it at the fact that I kissed more than my fair share of big, nasty, wart ridden, bad attitude having toads before finding my prince.
And so, without further ado, I will give you my list of qualifications for the perfect man. Obviously, the position is currently and permanently filled, but I do have two sisters and a plethora of female family and friends who would love a man who meets these criteria.
1. Must live in the same zip code.Long distance and traveling can no longer be tolerated on any level. I have had my fill.
2. Must love me unconditionally and blindly.I understand that there are other women out there, but you must never acknowledge their existence in my presence.
3. Must be willing to listen to my narcissistic and incessant ramblings about my blog, why my children are geniuses, how I am always right.Must be able to tolerate my acute case of verbal diarrhea that I have developed as a result of having children and being a SAHM. I am serious, you will be hit with a barrage of words upon your arrival..every day.
4. Must be ready and willing to please me at any moment, as my time is very valuable and you can only get in when I can fit you in.Must also be willing to not get offended if I am too exhausted to reciprocate:)
5. Must be willing to inform me when ‘Pedro’ is making an appearance, so that I can wax, as I am too busy to notice such things as facial hair because of the hecticness that is my life, plus all mirrors in my house are smudged with tiny hand prints.
6. Must know how to cook,bake birthday cakes, take out garbage, drive a riding mower,do laundry fold laundry,put away laundry, change the toilet paper roll and pick up your socks.
7. Must think I am a sex goddess even when I am being a raging hormonal bitch, am gestating a giant fruit of your loins, or have doubled in size due to water retention.
8. Must be willing to simultaneously film, photograph, hold my hand,look deep into my soul and tell me I am beautiful when I am giving birth.
9. Must not be afraid of a beautiful woman who has a Ricky Ricardo laugh and pees when she sneezes or laughs too hard..
10. Must be willing to laugh at life, cry with me, hold me when I am sad, and love me like you did back when we were in college….before gray hairs, love handles, breasts that fed, and child induced exhaustion set in.
11.Must be willing to take over all parenting duties the moment you walk in the house.
12.Must be adorable to look at and not make annoying sounds when breathing, sleeping, chewing, or talking.
13.Must be willing to reciprocate all that is given to you by me, emotionally, physically, and other!
14.Must like to cuddle on cold nights and go a little Prodigy Firestarter on me, when the occasion dictates.
15.Above all else, must head over heels love crazy, hot tempered, exotic, passionate, mouthy ME!
Thank God, I already found the Big Guy.I never knew I was so picky until I realized he was everything I never knew that I always wanted ( see aforementioned list). Please, tell me what your perfect man would be.Tag your it!
2010/11/09