The TRUTH About Motherhood

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Like Giving Candy to a Baby~ Candy for Children as Reward for Behavior
Candy for Children as a Reward for Good Behaviors
Candy for children as rewards is like giving candy to a baby, and about as responsible. In a world where kids are being put on diets and touted as being problems for their obesity, how is it tolerated that some teachers are still using sweets as a reward system for educational accomplishments or good behavior? Are you in shock? I am and I am pissed off.
I have encountered teachers who group children into different candy groups and if they accomplish their tasks for the day, they are rewarded with that treat. The treats range from sweet sugary cereals, to skittles, M&Ms, and gummy bears to name a few. Why?
Children accumulate tickets for good behavior or good listening skills, they can then cash the tickets in for sweets or special treats like lunch with the teacher or sitting in a special place. Of course, you have to save a lot more tickets to earn the non-sugary rewards. It is almost as if the children are being encouraged to take the easy reward, the route of instant gratification. Isn’t that how we’ve gotten to the current status of obesity in this country?
Candy for Children as Rewards should be Illegal
I am not a fanatic. I do believe that kids can enjoy the occasional piece of candy, in moderation. Candy is not the devil but it is also in no way a necessity in a child’s life. Candy for children as a special treat is fine but it should not be used as a reward system and given and withheld dependent on a child’s achievements. By doing this, we are teaching children to associate food with celebrations and achievement. We are teaching our children to eat their feelings. The 6 year old buying chocolate to celebrate knowing her addition facts is the same 500 pound woman who will be drinking a 32 ounce coke in the morning to “celebrate” waking up.
From personal experience, I know how hard it is to change your path of bad eating habits once they are learned. Those children that the teacher is giving candy and pop ( oh yes, they can earn tickets for pop too! I don’t even allow my girls to have pop at home and all they need to do is earn enough tickets, for doing what they are supposed to be doing anyways, and they can buy soda pop and candy at free will) to are being expected to have self- control that is most likely beyond their maturity level. I think it’s ridiculous. I have had to sit my daughter down and explain that she is not allowed to purchase ‘treats’ at school that she is not allowed at home. I also explained the effects that sugar has on your health, your teeth, the sugar highs and crashes, etc.
This is being done in a first grade class. What first grader do you know that wouldn’t eat themselves sick on sugar if given the chance? I’m pissed that they are given this option. Aren’t there nutrition guidelines enforced on school lunches for this very reason? This teacher’s reward system, undermines the entire shift in nutritional focus.How would you approach the teacher? I’ve told my daughter not to take the candy and she listens. But why should she have to feel punished? I think the candy should not be an option. What do you think about candy for children as a reward system for good behavior and good grades?
Candy for Children as Rewards should not be an option
Photo Source

2012/03/05
Preschoolers on Twitter
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She just realized that she Tweeted her Home address to a Pedophile
Twitter and the Preschooler~ The French have once again outdone us in the parenting realm. They are so progressive. Apparently, first they go all Bringing Up Bébé on our asses and try to prove that they can get results as good as that of the Tiger Mom Amy Chua without all the beatings and chaining to the piano. Now, they’ve gone and started the bébé’s out in social media before they are even out of diapers. Bravo! Awesome that their kids can tweet “ Ma mère suce”(My Mom sucks) while simultaneously screaming from the toilet for you to come wipe their ass.
Bébes on Twitter
The French are so evolved and cosmopolitan, it’s no wonder all of their women are thin and perfect. They’ve got it all figured out. While we are here obsessing over our love-handles and trying to diet and get healthy, they just eat and smoke whatever they desire and still look amazing in their designer clothing they bought at the neighborhood trunk show. Us poor Americans with our très stupide purse parties and Tupperware, no wonder our kids throw tantrums and talk back. We can’t even get a handle on our socialization skills. Fucking Americans buying our clothes at Target and attachment parenting.
We have no control over our children. We are so busy helicoptering and loving our children that we just don’t know how to Ferberize and mind meld them at the necessary levels to be allowed to use them as accessories. Wait? Why did we have these kids again? Oh yeah, the tax write off of course.
Twitter for the under 5 set
Sorry, I’m off on a tangent. The point is this; there is a French preschool near Bordeaux, France where the 29 preschool students are posting daily tweets. They only post one tweet a day and it is a group project so that all the kids can help decide what to post. Then two of the children are selected to type the actual group composed tweet. It’s supposed to be an exercise in learning the alphabet. What happened? Is our antiquated alphabet flashcards not doing the trick anymore?
The tweets are fairly innocuous tweets like “We gathered snow to see how it turns into water.” Cute right?
I don’t think so. I live on Twitter and I LOVE twitter. I want to have Twitter’s babies but I’m also a saucy foul-mouthed hooligan. Letting preschoolers on Twitter is like dropping a 7 year old off in a bar and then being surprised when they are cursing, smell like smoke, drunk and screaming ” woohoo, that’s my jam!”
Why not wait until they are old enough to have the reasoning skills to handle Twitter. Can’t we just let our preschoolers be kids for a little while longer? What’s the rush?
Preschoolers can’t read or write. It’s sort of like knowing how to insert a tampon without actually having a vagina. Why?
The class Twitter account has 89 followers, most of them parents, the rest of them pedophiles ( probably). If the preschoolers insist on maintaining this account, at least read this post about how to responsibly use Twitter.
What do you think about preschoolers having a twitter account? Is this the natural progression of social media? Would you want your preschooler on Twitter? Would you allow it? Would you be comfortable with your 4 year old composing tweets and sharing thoughts on Twitter?
Twitter a Pedo’s Paradise
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2012/02/22
Mommy Kryptonite~That New Baby Smell
New Baby Smell ~ Kryptonite for the Mommy soul. Oh yes, I’ve got baby on the brain big time. I know I have pledged myself to the Just Say No to babies campaign. I have willfully closed for business. I have made the decision to close the doors on the baby factory. No more producing grade-A human beings. I know this. I am pretty excited that my girls are of the age where they sleep for more than 4 hours at a time ( usually), that there are no more diapers and ass wiping ( well, most of the time). I don’t particularly miss being spit up on or not understanding what my children are saying. But then something happens, like the birth of my brand spanking new nephew all enveloped in that new baby smell. You know what I mean; it’s like apples, fresh air and pure freaking love. Then you look at that face that melts your heart and short circuits your brain. This is when trouble happens.
New Baby=Kryptonite
Then, the ovaries began to twitch – the brain to ditch and suddenly the hinges( of my uterus) started to unhitch. I think there are many of us Mommies who reside somewhere between Baby gotta have it land and Hell no,we won’t go there again newborn city (like New Jack City but not quite so violent). We stay there in a procreation purgatory until one of two things happens 1) we convince our husbands to get a vasectomy or 2) we go through menopause, either way, the inbetween time is dangerous. All it takes is one look at a smiling mug like this one below and we are doomed. One minute (ok 5 minutes) of unprotected wild abandonment and BOOM there we are in a full-on shit storm of the delivery kind.
Dear Lord, this kind of cuteness should certainly be outlawed. My brain goes all fuzzy and the next thing you know I’m doing things that I promised myself I’d never do again like birthing a 15 inch human head without an epidural ( a la Alien), losing control of my bodily functions, and a menagerie of other things that nobody, not even your mama, tells you about pregnancy.
New Baby Smell is clouding my Judgement
My baby +New Baby = Kryptonite of Epic Proportions.
Uterus is full-on convulsing. For the love of God can someone please get me outta here before I do something stupid like have unprotected ovulatory sex. Yeah, that’s right, I said it. I know my body like a fine-tuned machine and I know two weeks to the day of the start of shark week, fertility lurks. Must resist moments of weakness and smell of fresh out of the oven new baby. And damn it if my sister isn’t the picture of new mommy glow. I thought that was a myth! No fair. I most certainly did not glow. I looked like I had been run over by a Mack truck. Note to self: New baby smell comes with new baby and New baby is hard work ( even if he is so cute that you want to kiss his face off). Have you ever felt conflicted as to if you should have another baby? What do you do to stop the twitching ovaries and throbbing uterus? Or was new baby the new no baby? What tipped the scales in favor of new baby?
New Baby Kryptonite Never Looked so Good
2012/01/09
Ugly babies in the Cradle,Pretty at the Table
Let’s talk about the old saying, “ugly babies in the cradle, pretty at the table.” I had never heard of it and quite frankly, took great offence at the thought of an adult calling a baby ugly. Are there such things as ugly babies?
Have you ever heard this crazy saying?
As most of you know, I am walking around in a new baby (nephew) induced fog. I am seeing the world with new eyes and loving on my own daughters harder and stronger than I did a couple days ago because of my reminder of the preciousness of childhood. The moment my beautiful nephew entered the world, all I could think was how very blessed we all our to have our ~~babies~~ children in our lives.
From the moment I saw my daughters’ faces, they were the most beautiful baby, no human, I had ever seen. They still are. They will always be.
I am their mother and their birth was the culmination of a whole lot of love. Their very existence is a constant reminder of how very blessed I am in this life. It was like looking upon the sun. It was joyous and humbling. With each birth, I was metamorphisized into a better person (even if it doesn’t feel like it on most days).
I thought every mother felt this way when she saw her baby for the first time. I naively thought that every mother thought her baby was the most beautiful baby in the world because to her it is the most beautiful baby in the world. I never imagined someone would call their own baby ugly.
Ugly Babies don’t exist
This morning as I’m driving my girls to school, we are listening to the radio and the deejays are talking about a phrase used by parents “Ugly in the cradle, Pretty at the table” apparently this is something that parents say to console their children who they have told are ugly.WTF? Why would you ever tell anyone they are ugly, let alone your child?
READ ALSO: One in Ten Babies is Born this Way
Newsflash, people have mirrors they already know they are ugly. Kids know if they are not as cute as the kid next to them, but to their parents, they should be the cutest freaking thing in the world. It’s in the parent handbook. Didn’t they get it when they got that stupid ass free plastic diaper bag from the hospital?
Don’t tell your kids they are ugly. Don’t think your kids are ugly. And for the love of God, if you do think they are ugly (besides something being fundamentally wrong with you in the head) where do you think they got those damn ugly genes from?
Ugly Babies are A Myth
Look, I am living in the real world and I have perfect 20/20 vision so I do realize that some babies are cuter than others when they are born. Let’s be honest, most newborns look like one of two things; a little old man or a fuzzy ball sack. But we love them and to the parents who produced them, those babies are the most beautiful babies in the world.
By the way, how good do any of us look after taking a transatlantic flight or participating in fight club? Let’s be real, that’s pretty much what being born is like. How good did any of us look after giving birth and we were on the outside?
Precious
There are No Ugly Babies
I don’t know who came up with such a ridiculous saying as “Ugly babies in the cradle, pretty at the table” but I bet they were ugly on the inside and certainly need to be flogged. Stop using it!
Remember, next time you are thinking about saying how ugly a baby is, those ugly babies are somebody’s everything that is beautiful and good in the world. If you are a parent who has called your baby ugly, please email me a photo because I need to see what level of ugly it takes to make a parent call their own baby ugly.
READ ALSO: Does Advanced Maternal Age Really Mean You’re Too Old to Give Birth?
Please stop telling your babies they are ugly. They will look human in a couple of months. Now put your standard issued Mommy thinks you’re perfect glasses back on NOW!
Have you ever thought your child was ugly? Come on, you can tell me. I won’t tell anyone. We’ve all thought there are ugly babies out there, but usually not our own. I mean come on, we’ve all got an ugly cry. They don’t call it that because it’s pretty. I bet even Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie look pretty gruesome when they ugly cry.
I’m a realist, I am not opposed to the fact that there are ugly babies in the world. I am however opposed to the fact that there are parents out there who are stupid enough to not only think it but to say it out loud, to their little ugly babies. Just remember, there are no ugly babies just adults who should have thought before they spoke.
Do you think there is such a thing as ugly babies?
2012/01/04
Teen Driving 101, what Every Parent Needs to Know to Keep Kids Safe
Some days, I can’t believe that I’m the mom to two teenagers. It feels like just yesterday; I was introducing you all to my toddlers. But, Bella is 15-years-old already, about to be 16 in less than a month. What they say about the days being long but the years being short, is the truest thing ever said about motherhood and childhood. It’s hard to imagine, my little girl is old enough to drive. It scares me in more ways than I expected. Aside from it making me painfully aware that she will soon be old enough to live on her own, it makes it that much easier for her to spend time away from us.
Of course for teenagers, driving is an exciting rite of passage. Getting onto the road for the first time in their own car is thrilling time for a teenager. Its independence and freedom that our kids haven’t experienced up to that point. Of course, while this is thrilling for them, it can also be terrifying for parents. We have to make sure we give them a thorough course in teen driving 101. Aside from the letting go, we know how dangerous driving can be. No matter what driving directions we’ve give them, the fact is that teen drivers are more likely to make driving mistakes in their first year on the road than for the rest of their driving career.
Tips for New Drivers

Maybe it sounds like an overreaction, especially from someone who has been driving since she was 13-years-old. But I’m me and they’re them. Take my driving directions don’t follow my driving examples, kids. Danger hits different when you’re on the mom end of things than it does when you’re the carefree teenager. Sorry, mom.
I had my days as a teenage girl, now it’s my time to worry. I’m better at that than most. As a teen, I was the one who was going places and doing things that I probably shouldn’t have been. I definitely would have given my mom a heart attack if she knew half of it. Thank God I was too stupid and naïve to realize what could have happened to me. It’s true, some things you just have to live through to believe. Being aware and prepared can help prevent unnecessary issues.
Teen Driving Safety Tips Every Parent Needs to Know that their kid might be breaking
Speeding while driving
Whether they are showing off, being careless, or are trying to have fun, speeding is a serious offense. No matter where you are or why you’re doing it. Many roads have automated cameras that can capture cars speeding and issue fines, while police will also lookout. Speeding can damage a teenager’s permanent driving record. It can make their insurance premiums go up while running the risk of losing their license if they break the rules more than once. Some insurance companies can also monitor the speed of your car to make sure that you’re not breaking the rules. Speeding can also cause a lot of car accidents.
Driving Under the influence (DUI)
Driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs is illegal. Road accidents happen more frequently under the influence. That’s why I always carry a personal breathalyzer in my purse and bring a designated driver. Teen drivers are more likely to take a risks, trusting themselves to be safe behind the wheel. Let’s face it, teenagers think they are invincible. Police can easily recognize drivers under the influence.
Driving Accidents
Teen drivers without much experience on the road are much more likely to cause accidents than veteran drivers. Friends, radios and telephones can easily distract new drivers. Having a major driving accident can make your teen’s premium skyrocket. If the worst were to happen to your teenager and it involved other drivers then you may need to be prepared for others to make a claim against your child. If this is the case, then they will need the very best car crash lawyer to help them navigate the situation. It’s important you teach our teens about the potential distractions and to always look out for other drivers, as well as, potential hazards on the road. An attorney will be able to help you and your child fix any issues with the claimant and could potentially get them out of any sticky situations.
Driver’s Road Rage
Road rage is a common issue across the world and causes many accidents. People find it easier to get annoyed when driving than when walking. Teenagers tend to be more emotional than adults and get into bad situations when they engage with other drivers. You need to make sure that your teenager knows that they can’t shout, swear, or attack other drivers, especially when they’re on busy roads. Instead, they should work to simply ignore the annoyances of other drivers.
Incorrect Documentation
Teenagers aren’t generally considered the best administrators, and this means that they can easily let their documentation become void and will break the DUI law causing them a problem. This can have a negative impact on their driving career, making it difficult for them to get a new license if their current one is taken from them. It’s crucial that insurance, licenses, and things like tax are all up to date before your teenager is allowed to hit the road. In many cases, the punishment for failing to do this can be bigger than fines.
Insurance Violations
Teenagers usually care about things like fashion a lot more than older people. This can lead to extensive modifications being made to their vehicles, with many of the changes they make being superficial. Of course, though, insurance companies need to know about these changes, ensuring that the car that is being covered reflects the actual car on your driveway.
With all of this in mind, you should be feeling ready to take on the challenge of avoiding the trouble your teen driver could get into during their first year on the road. This can be a difficult time for new drivers, but you can help your teens overcome the issues with a little bit of practice, encouragement and safety reminders.
Letting go is hard. Watching our “little” girls drive away, is not easy but we can’t keep them at our sides forever so the most important thing we can do as parents is to prepare them well to take on the world. We have to trust that we’ve done our jobs as parents and if all else fails, let them know we’re always there to lift them up, support them and hold their hands when they need it. As soon as this snow melts, we’re taking Bella out for some more driving practice.
What’s your best tip for teaching your teen driving safety without stressing you both out?
2021/02/12
Mommy Truisms:The Dangerous games Mommies play edition
It’s time for a few more of my Mommy truisms.Growing sisterhood through motherhood, one truism at a time! Enjoy.
- Being a new parent is like high school,everything is life or death and you are certain that each wrong decision will ruin the rest of your life.But in the end, you grow through it, survive it, and become a better version of yourself.
- Conjugalorium:another word for a co-sleepers unused bedroom.Go ahead, you paid for it.Someone should be using that extra bed.
- Sometimes kids will get completely naked to use the bathroom.Don’t ask why.You will not receive a coherent explanation.Save yourself the brain hurt.
- Having children is like walking around the world with an open wound.
- 8 out of 10 parents co sleep with their children at some point in their childhood; 2 out of 10 admit it!
- Bending down, using your stern voice and scolding an adult who has wronged you is perfectly acceptable behavior from a mother.
- When your 3 year old screams incessantly “Me hate you!”, as much as you’d like to say,”Oh yeah, you are NOT my favorite person right now either” hold your tongue.They will hear you.They will remember it and you will pay for your slip for the rest of your life!
- Cherish your spouse; they are your forever, children are just a temporary horror show.
- Hiding in the bushes in the dark, in a dark hallway or under the basement stairs and jumping out to scare your kids is perfectly acceptable at Halloween, but only if you have first made sure they are not inflicted with long QT syndrome.
- Not allowing your child to go on a field trip with 47 children, 2 teachers and NO chaperones is not only a good idea, its pretty much required for safety.
- Handing children sippy cups, goldfish or cheerios, stopping skirmishes, searching for dropped crayons, holding ice cream cones, changing Barbies & babies, and changing a DVD, lowering or raising the volume, hitting play or wiping clean are all activities that you do in the car that are MORE dangerous to the safety of your children than using your cell phone.
- Sometimes a spontaneous dance party is exactly what is needed to save the day!
- There is no such thing as loving on your child too much.Go ahead.Try.I dare you.It can’t be done. Children deserve all the love that you can possibly give to them.
- Knowing the previous information, NEVER withhold your love from your child as a punishment.If you do, you are the mental defect and should be judged accordingly.
- Parenthood is an endless succession of minutia, but pay attention, within the minutia is hidden the most spectacular miracles.
Happy Mothering and come back for tonight’s Throat Punch Thursday post.
2010/10/21
Next time, They Won’t Need Me

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
If you’ve heard that the teen years of parenting are the worst, don’t believe everything you hear. It’s different from previous years but it’s just as beautiful in many ways. I like to think of it as the evolution of the parent and teen relationship filled with beauty and misery.
Our most recent trip to Walt Disney World may have been the last one of my girls’ childhood wonder. It wasn’t on purpose. They didn’t try to do it but it happened. I felt it. The gentle pulling away that is growing up. As a parent, there’s nothing you can do about it.
You’re presented with 2 pseudo choices, go with it and gently let go with a loving smile while wiping away the secret tear in your eye. Or you can hold on for dear life, as they push, pull and drag you off of them. They love you but their instinct is to achieve maximum freedom and independence. You’re a hindrance to both, whether you mean to be or not. There’s only one way to come out of this alive, you have to let go so that the subtle pushing and pulling away of childhood into adolescence doesn’t kill you both.
(more…)
2022/03/27
Just For Now
Happy Friday, my friends!Even Better, Happy First Day of October!! Here in the Midwest, leaves are changing, the sun is shining, pumpkins are ripe, bonfires are burning, apples are begging to be picked, chili to be made, cozy sweaters to be worn, cuddles to be given to spread the warmth! Oh, how I love fall! So I am pretty excited. First of all , it’s Friday..you know what that means, I get to see the Big Guy for dinner tonight! Ladies, if you get to see your husband every night for dinner..don’t take it for granted. You don’t truly understand what a big deal it is until you don’t have it anymore. I’m also pretty excited for several other reasons. But mostly because I get to cuddle the Big Guy and my girls!Life is beautiful, even if it is just for now.
I always love this picture, it reminds me of a 60’s album cover!
I am happy to announce the winner of the Senseo Coffee Machine Giveaway, chosen by random.org, the winner is….drum roll, please……comment #15, Nicole! Congratulations, Nicole. I would also like to thank all of you who entered and tried to help me hit my 1000 followers goal! You guys are amazing. WHile I am at it, I’d also love to thank you all for all of the wonderful comments that I have been receiving lately. You guys really keep me thinking and offer some fantastic pearls of wisdom that I can add to my bag of tricks! Loving me some sisterhood through Motherhood!
Next, exciting part of news, today I am one of the Friendly Friday Featured Bloggers! I’m so excited! Please stop over and show them some love!
https://www.thanksmailcarrier.com/
1. Did you have a pen pal when you were little (or now)? Where were/are they from? I had a pen pal, a boy from Turkey. We are grown ups and have been pen pals for 33 years. Now, we share pictures of our children.

2. If you could do a different job for one day, what would it be? I’d love to actually get paid for writing. Right now, I get paid to edit university students papers!

3. Do you remember your biggest fear from when you were little? I was afraid of the dark. There was no door on the closet and my overactive imagination always saw shadows and movement in the clothes.Now, I am like a Vampire, I like it as dark as possible.

4. What do you think is a waste of time? Why? Talking to stupid peo
ple. It makes my head hurt, it frustrates me repeating myself, is a general waste of my time and energy. then they usually try to use words that they don’t know how to use correctly and it makes me insane!

5. What is the oldest item you have in your closet?
My Grandma’s ancient Bulova, it must be like one of the first ones ever made. I love it!
Also, if you love my Mommy Truisms series, and I know you do, please stop over at One Savvy Mom’s blog and check them out.* They will be available after 8 pm EST tonight! I am her featured guest blogger today. I am so excited. While you are there, I highly recommend you stop and stay awhile. No one does reviews and giveaways like One Savvy Mom! That lady has the scoop on what’s hot and what’s not on everything! I’m serious..everything!

My FAWK You’s for the week
- Fawk You to having a night away from the girls, with just the Big Guy and not getting to fully *utilize* the hotel room to its potential.
- FAWK you to that last birthday shot of Tequila that I should not have had!Boo on getting older and not handling the liquor like I did in my 20’s!
- SUPER DUPER FAWK YOU in the EAR to the mysterious black eye that I woke up with from my love/ hate relationship I had with the toilet the night of my birthday!
- Fawk you to my little girls growing up too fast!
- Fawk you to the mean girl from ballet class.
- Fawk you to never getting enough sleep! Lord, I need a nap!
- Fawk You to the Big Guy getting sick and being homesick in the same day..poor guy!
- Fawk you to my 5 inch hooker heels who tried to mutiny on me while out in Chicago for the first time in YEARS! Oh yeah, you thought a little hyperextended foot action was going to stop me? Tequila shut you up didn’t it?
- Oh yeah, FAWK YOU to my back who is so obviously in cahoots with my hooker heels! Shame on you back! Pain pills and Muscle relaxers shut you up, didn’t they?
- Disclaimer* There was no mixing of pills and booze. Scouts honor! Luckily said ailments did not happen simultaneously:)
- Big GIANT FAWK YOU to myself for still not finishing my piece that I am writing for an actual paying writing job! Today’s the day it gets sent in. Wish me Luck!!!!!
- And one last but not least, FAWK YOU to Mother Nature…you bitch , how is it that you know every time I am in the same zip code with my MIL ? Without fail, if she is in town or I am at her house…I will surely start to hemorrhage. I think if we actually lived in the same area code all the time, I would literally bleed out! Damn You Mother nature, go annoy someone else!I’ve gotta wedding to go to this weekend!
2010/10/01
“The Mommy Business Trip” Just an Excuse to Get Away from Our Families & Booze it Up ~ Throat Punch Thursday
So, I read this Wall Street Journal article this morning about “Mommy Business Trip” basically mocking moms who go to conferences because mommies don’t work, right? I will put you out of your misery now and tell you that the deserving recipient of today’s throat punch is the woman, Katherine Rosman, who wrote this article.
The jist of the article is that moms go to conferences and conventions just so they can guilt-free ( as if there is such a damn thing) jet off and leave their “responsibilities” i.e kids and husband to have a girls weekend because what could we moms possibly need “business trips” for?
I don’t know about you but I am the hardest working mommy I know. I clean my house, I cook meals, I fold the fucking laundry, I’m room mother for both classes, I run my kids to all of their classes, school functions and occasions plus I work from home full-time and I am the mother fucking bomb.com. I work and then I work some more and I have the bags under my eyes and fatigue to prove it. I don’t need an excuse to get away. I need an insane asylum for not doing it sooner.
I have not been to any conferences yet because of this very mentality. I can’t leave my family because then what kind of “mom” would I be? What will people think? I’ll tell you what kind of mom I would be…a human one. Man cannot live on bread alone and Moms cannot live on wiping snotty noses, folding laundry and wiping asses alone. It’s lonely at the top and we need a break. And to be fair, I hear a lot of moms bring their kids with them! Yeah, loads of partying goes on when you have a wee one suckling from your teet.
Okay, so I went on my first overnight without my family in January. My oldest is 8, I’ve not been alone in 8 years. 8. YEARS!! Is that even natural? And no, I don’t get to be alone when I shower or pee. I am chaperoned by little people at all hours of the day and night. NO, I don’t even get to sleep without tiny feet kicking me in the back or headbutting me in the face.
I am going to two conferences this year and leaving on my second Press trip in a couple of weeks, during the busiest month of the year for me. I have a daughter getting her first communion, a daughter turning 6, a husband celebrating his 38^th birthday, a 14^th wedding anniversary to celebrate, Mother’s day, end of the year ballet performances, end of the year violin recitals, the annual neighborhood garage sale, not to mention all of my household chores and my work obligations. I have a lot of shit to get done. Why am I going on this press trip? Because I need some fucking sleep and to talk to adults and maybe, more likely, it will be beneficial to my career in some small way.
I will go to the conferences this year to further my career, to reactivate my brain cells, to make some connections, to better myself and to let my husband have some alone time with our girls. He is just as capable and a lot more patient than me and a better cook and a whole lot more fun. I am going to kick my blog up a notch and yes, to meet some of the wonderful women who I have been friends with for years online. You know, the women who sent my children books to help them through the loss of their beloved dog, the women who cried with me and sent me their condolences when I miscarried last May, the same women who have helped me to learn and grow as a mother and a writer, in my life and in my career; my friends. Is it so wrong that I look forward to seeing them while attending a conference for my work?
I don’t think it’s an excuse to act like an asshole, get drunk and pretend I am single but I also don’t think that I should be punished for choosing to have a family. Why should I be a shut in and not be able to have a career and be with me kids too? Motherhood is not a prison sentence and we are not being punished, we are not on lock down so if we can afford it and our husbands are okay with it, what’s the fucking problem with women ( who happen to have children) attending conferences to better themselves and their careers? I’m sick of these self-imposed guilt trips we adhere to and I am especially sickened when another woman is the chauvinist pig by whose pen the blow is delivered.
The writer of the piece Katherine Rosman, well, I wonder if she’s ever spent any actual time at home with children? My guess is that only a person who has never spent years loving a child and giving their everything to keep them safe and alive and thriving could speak about moms going to blogging conferences or conventions of any sort with such disdain. Dad’s go to conferences and business trips and yes, even guys trips and that is perfectly acceptable but the moment a woman does the same thing, it must be under the guise of some convoluted excuse to escape her family.
Shame on you Ms. Rosman for throwing your sex under the bus for a headline. You receive a well-deserved throat punch. I hope it was worth it to mock moms and make them feel like failures for being human.
What do you think of moms attending conferences and conventions? Are they JUST an excuse to get away from their families and life or are they actually trying to learn something, grow themselves, become better? What do you think of “Mommy Business Trips”?

Photo: WSJ
2013/04/25
An 8th Birthday with a Surprise Twist at the End
Remember the song, What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong? That has been my song to my Bella since before she was born. I used to sway back and forth in her nursery with my giant belly; singing softly to myself alone (not really alone, as no one ever is when they are pregnant) away from everyone we knew while the Big Guy was at work. The anticipation of meeting my first child was surreal, exciting and strange. Pregnancy for me was like an out of body experience but singing that song, as the sunshine softly kissed my baby belly through her nursery window, I was overcome with serenity and peace. (more…)
2013/03/12