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  • Back-to-School means Time to Get Back to Me

    Back-to-School means Time to Get Back to Me

    Summer was insane around here, packed full of traveling and the making of all the fun childhood memories but now it’s time to get back to me. It was awesome for the girls and us too. I love having them home but for me it was a little bit of the summer of Mom Interrupted.

    My house looked like a cyclone hit it at all times. Getting work done felt like a covert opp because I was doing it after they went to bed, before they woke up and sneaking away for quiet moments at my keyboard while they were occupied with the Big Guy outside; all the while my heart was longing to be outside with them enjoying it. The mommy guilt was strong with me this summer, even though I was putting most things aside to be in the moment. It just never felt like enough.

    I’ve noticed the older they get, the faster the summers go and more and more often I feel myself being torn between being their mom, his wife and my own person. I want to be happy and to be happy; those three components need to coexist in harmony. I need to be there for them but I definitely need to be here for me too. When the balance gets out of whack, my entire universe starts spinning off its axis. The truth is that one thing fuels the other and makes it better.

    But how do I be there for them and still get back to me?

    Being a good wife means a happy marriage, which means a stable, happy home for my children but none of that is possible if I am not happy with myself. So I have these three balls in the air at all times; my career, my daughters and my husband. Usually it is easy, I mean these are my priorities so 3 priorities are perfect until anything unexpected or extra comes up (which has been happening all summer) and then all the balls start dropping and I am jumping around like a mad woman trying to catch them before they hit the floor and shatter because obviously in my mind my balls are fragile. But my balls are strong; they are made of rubber. Anyways, enough about comparing my family to balls. The point is they are more resilient than I give them credit for and so am I.

    But school has started back and I am writing in quiet from the hours of 8-2:30 and our routine is hectic but it’s manageable because we work together as a family to function smoothly. Sure there are hiccups but with everyone being flexible and having our priorities, life is easier. The thing that really keeps all the balls in the air is recognizing when one of us needs a break from the juggling or needs some extra TLC.

    Every so often when things at the office get a little too hectic or my husband has a big project due, we all recognize that he might need a little more time to play Call of Duty and kill some zombies to decompress so I ask him to do less around the house during that time. Sometimes the kids get overwhelmed with homework and extracurricular activities, especially when they have performances or big tests coming up and that’s when they get extra cuddles, more understanding and maybe a pass on chores. And sometimes, I really need a day of quiet, to sleep in or just someone else to juggle all the balls for awhile because my arms are exhausted and this is when my family steps in and takes over; back-to-school is one of those times of year.

    The girls are excited and anxious about starting a new school year with new teachers and new friends but at the same time, I am juggling all the balls and about 20 more and after a summer with just throwing balls and letting them fall where they may, this is near impossible and very stressful. I am in desperate need of a girl’s weekend in Chicago, a week at the beach or just a spa day.

    Who am I kidding, I would settle for a day of no obligations; sleeping through the night without any interruptions and waking up on my own, a hot, relaxing bath, take out, no kids bickering and a back massage by the Big Guy. That sounds just about like perfection to me.

    What’s your idea of the perfect back to me day?

     

    Disclosure: I am a Wayfair ambassador but all opinions about how I get back to me are my own.

  • How to Keep Your Shit Together

    How to Keep Your Shit Together

    Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

    These past few weeks of motherhood have been thus far some of the hardest ever. Shit has happened that no one teaches you about in the parenting books. I’ve studied the whole of the DSM and I still couldn’t have been prepared, as a mother, for the kind of emotional toll that has been taken on me. That’s why I’m realizing how to protect your mental health while taking care of everyone else is so important for parents.

    You know there are things you expect, in the back of your head, in the bottom of your heart and right there in the pit of your stomach. Things that you know can happen, like all those terrible side effects they warn you of when you are taking the drugs that will save your life. You take them anyways because living is more important than having the shakes. Well, my friends, this shit was not on the warning label when I got pregnant. Or maybe it was and I chose not to believe it.

    I have been struggling with mental illness since the teen years. There is a whole list of disorders and illnesses that I can speak of at length and in-depth. That should have been a red flag to me that maybe I needed to be a little more prepared for what could happen if the girls got triggered. But, I thought, I’ve got this. I found my way out of the darkness. It’ll be fine. And it was until it wasn’t anymore.

    In my teen years, my mind was held hostage in a dark abyss. I couldn’t find my way out or at least it felt like I couldn’t but, true to Debi fashion, one step at a time, one moment at a time, I survived. Barely. Even though there were days when it was so painful to be alive that I prayed something or someone would kill me because I couldn’t do it myself and hurt my mom. She was my savior and she had no idea of the dark thoughts that were infiltrating my brain. It’s probably better that way. But I know.

    In those days, it hurt to breathe because it felt counterintuitive and I cried more tears than I thought were even possible. But, my childhood was tumultuous to put it nicely. A lot of bad shit happened to me and when you’re a kid, you can only take so much before you break. Or so I thought. I’m more resilient than I ever imagined because I never actually broke, I just bent as far as my child mind and body could.

    I promised myself that I would never allow that to be my daughters’ stories. They would live a “normal” life. As if I even know what that looks like. I promised myself they would never be triggered and I thought I could protect them from my same fate. But I was wrong. There are some things we can’t actually stop from happening, no matter how hard we try or how ‘good’ we are at this parenting thing. Maybe this is why I feel like such a fraud when people compliment me. I know the truth. There are simply some things that are beyond our control. That’s a hard and bitter pill for this recovering smother mother to swallow.

    How to protect your mental health while taking care of everyone else is a hard, but imperative, balance to find

    Today, I took my daughter to her first adolescent group therapy session. Never expected that to be a milestone. She almost cried when I left her. I almost cried when I left her in a room full of strange kids in their own turmoil. Is this a good idea? Is she going to get ideas or learn bad habits? But isn’t this supposed to help her live? All that matters is that she makes it through, by any means possible. She is the most important thing in my life. She and her sister are truly my entire reason why.

    A couple of weeks ago, her depressive episode got so bad that I could see her slipping into that same dark abyss that I used to live in. I lived there for years. I honestly thought I’d never escape. I resigned myself to living there alone with my pain until it killed me. For me, it started at 12-years-old with body dysmorphia, then the major depression and suicidal ideations started around freshman year of high school, onto eating disorders beginning around 17 ( bulimia then anorexia with extreme exercising), and ultimately a diagnosis of bipolar 1 when I spent most of my college years and my mid 20’s manic AF. I didn’t have my first panic attack until I was 35-years-old but according to my psychiatrist, anxiety was there first.

    As a child, I was prone to terrible stomach aches that landed me in the emergency room on more than one occasion. That’s how little Debi’s anxiety from living with an abusive, alcoholic father first manifested. But I learned quickly, around 7-years-old, how to develop my coping mechanisms. I’m a counter. It worked for years until my husband lost his job when I was 35. #mommysfirstpanicattack Yep, if I’m anxious and talking to people (pushing through my anxiety) I’m probably counting every word you are saying and all the letters in the words.  I know I’m an extrovert but I also have my limits. I didn’t even realize I counted or what it meant until about a year into my therapy. Did I mention now ADHD is on the table? Aye aye aye. Like seriously, what the actual fuck?

    Anyways, most if not all of these things are in control ( save for a little mania that gets triggered when I’m under duress…you know like when you’re dealing with the guilt and pressure of passing along your fucked up brain chemistry to your children). You have not had mom guilt of this level if you haven’t genetically fucked your kids up. It is a special kind of hell because it is in fact my fault. I’ve been crying about this a lot lately.

    Right now, I’m trying to keep my shit together while putting out a seemingly unlimited amount of mental health trash fires over here daily. It’s a lot. I’m overwhelmed. I’m triggered and I’m trying my best to do what’s best for everyone, especially my girls. I thought I was holding it together. I mean I know that on the inside, I’m falling apart but I thought on the outside, I was taking care of business. I think I am for the most part but I’m neglecting myself. I know this because the other days while I was sobbing about my daughter’s mental health crisis, I could hear my pressured speech and feel my pressured thoughts machine-gunning out of my head and my husband gave me a hug and said, “But Debi, you haven’t looked happy for a while.” And he’s not wrong. I’m too overwhelmed and exhausted and scared to be happy because what right do I have when my children are in pain?

    That’s how I know that I need to step back, take inventory and do whatever I need to do to get my own mental health in order. Because skipping myself isn’t doing any favors for my children or my husband. In fact, I’m adding to the pile of neverending trash fires currently going on. Look, I’m not complaining. This is me processing. I write, that’s how I survive.

    If you’ve ever wondered why my feeds are not perfectly curated, it’s not because I don’t know that it’s what people want its because I refuse to live a lie. My battle with eating disorders made me a liar for about 8 solid years. You have to lie to hide the fact that you are slowly killing yourself from the people who love you. If not, they will stop you from your slow suicide. And I preferred to exile myself from everyone than to let them know how truly vulnerable and pathetic I was.

    I spent so many years striving for perfection and I’m still a fucking relentless overachiever. It’s just who I am. If I stop moving I die. But now, with years of therapy and doing the work to not only understand my disease but myself, I will never silently suffer again and I don’t want that for my daughters either. I never want them to feel that alone and afraid to live.

    So how do I protect my mental health while taking care of everyone else? I have to be vigilant that I take care of myself first or I won’t be able to take care of anyone else. I know from a mom’s perspective, it sounds very selfish but it’s not. It is giving myself permission to heal so that I can help the people I love the most heal and get the help they need with my full support.

    Give Yourself a Time-Out (But Actually Take It)

    We’re all great at putting the kids in time-out when they need a breather, but how often do we do that for ourselves? Next time you feel the storm brewing – whether it’s a panic attack on the horizon or just a gnawing sense that you’re about to lose your sh*t – actually take a damn time-out for yourself. Lock yourself in the bathroom if you have to. Light a scented candle, hydrate, breathe deeply, and reconnect with yourself for a few sacred minutes.

    Shamelessly Indulge in Your Vices Within reason, of course.

    We all need small reprieves that are entirely our own – tiny pit stops of peace along this relentless race of motherhood. Maybe it’s those cigarettes you promised you’d quit, or a generous pour of red wine after the kids are in bed. Maybe it’s zoning out to trashy reality TV or snacking on the kids’ hidden stash of Halloween candy. Whatever your vice may be, indulge in it shamelessly and without guilt. You’re doing important work. You’ve earned it.

    Outsource Your Overwhelm

    Listen, you superwoman – there’s no award for doing it all yourself. Our villages have disbanded and the weight of everything has fallen on our overburdened mom-shoulders. So pay someone to clean your house for a few hours every week. Order meal delivery kits. Hire a college kid to mow the lawn. Get a damn robot vacuum, for Christ’s sake. Shed. That. Overwhelm. You’re a mom, not a martyr.

    Reclaim Your Identity

    When you became a mom, you were first reborn. Now it’s time to rediscover the human behind the caretaker. Schedule monthly mani/pedis or weekend trips with your girlfriends. Sign up for a painting or dance class for absolutely no reason other than you think it might be fun. Read books unrelated to parenting. Reminding yourself of the person you were before babies can be a balm for the soul.

      Schedule Some “Me Time”

      When you’re taking care of everyone and everything else, this can definitely seem like a long shot, right? But at the end of the day, you’re living your life, and that means you still have to take care of yourself. Something that might even mean putting everyone and everything else on the back burner for a bit so you can take care of yourself. After all, if you can’t take care of yourself, how can you take care of others? 

      But self-care means taking time to do what you want, Me Time- the time that moms almost never seem to get. Honestly, it can be whatever you want at whatever pace you want to. For example, if you want something intense like tennis, go for it; if you want something more relaxing like a digital crossword puzzle, then by all means, go for that! 

      You deserve to define your ‘me time” however you want. But you can’t neglect this either. You can only get yourself together if you let yourself have a break, your body and your mind needs this.

      And a final word to all you fierce mamas out there: Put on your own oxygen mask first. Your mental health is precious cargo – without it, you can’t fully show up for those you love most. So prioritize your self-care. I’ll say it louder for the martyr moms in the back: You must prioritize your self-care! This isn’t just a friendly reminder, it’s an order from your resident Truth-Telling Mom. Now, share the hell out of this thing and tag a few mom friends who need to hear it!

    • Our Disney Origin Story and Why I’m Applying to the PlanDisney Panel

      Our Disney Origin Story and Why I’m Applying to the PlanDisney Panel

      Estimated reading time: 9 minutes

      I just applied to the planDisney panel. This is something I’ve done annually for the past few years. I’ve made it to round 3 in the past but I’ve never gone all the way. But here I am again, applying with the hope that this is the year. I don’t give up. Why do I keep trying you may be asking? Here is our Disney origin story and why I’m applying to the planDisney panel.

      Disney Origin Story, Why I'm Applying to the PlanDisney Panel

      Well, I LOVE Disney. Like truly, maybe too much, genuinely love Walt Disney World and Disney Studios and everything Disney. It has been a HUGE part of my happily ever after. You see, on my very first trip (I was a poor kid so I didn’t get to make these magical memories as a child. Disney was the dream but I knew it was something I’d have to take the initiative to attain on my own) was for our honeymoon. I’m sure I’ve shared this story here before in some capacity but here it goes again.

      Disney Origin Story, Why I'm Applying to the PlanDisney Panel

      This is our Disney origin story

      I met the Big Guy in college. He comes from a perfectly nice, middle-class American family from the suburbs. They did things like travel to Disney World and stay at the Grand Floridian. His grandmother traveled the world and went on African Safaris, danced the tango in Spain and had roots in the Black Forest. I was what they affectionately refer to as a “region rat” (IYKYK). Yes, we’re everywhere. I even met a fellow Region Rat working at the Yacht Club and hey, Bob Chapek is one too so don’t turn your nose up at the region. My point is that I’m a first-generation freckled Mexibilly from the Chicagoland area who grew up in an urban area surrounded by fellow minorities and was raised by two Catholic parents (6 kids) and one factory worker’s blue-collar salary. All of our “vacation” money went to travel to see our grandparents in Tennessee and Mexico. No matter how much we wished for Disney, it was not feasible for us.

      Disney Origin Story, Why I'm Applying to the PlanDisney Panel

      So I met this cute, funny, tall, smart guy from the suburbs and he had this very normal, idyllic childhood and when we got married he only had 3 requests.

      Disney Origin Story, Why I'm Applying to the PlanDisney Panel

       1) we walk into the reception to the Star Wars theme

      2) he either got to lick my face at the altar (instead of the proposed demure, closed-mouth kiss in front of 300 of our closest family and friends at our high noon full wedding mass or he got to shove my wedding cake into my face Mexican style (both of which I was vehemently opposed). I ultimately chose to sacrifice our first Mr. and Mrs. kiss in lieu of a face full of cake.

      3) This was his number 1 request; we honeymoon at Walt Disney World.

      Disney Origin Story, Why I'm Applying to the PlanDisney Panel

      Everything else was my fairy tale wedding.

      Not going to lie, I was not thrilled at the idea of spending my honeymoon running around a theme park. This is not how I expected our Disney origin story began. I wanted either Europe or a tropical island somewhere filled with lazy days on the beach frolicking in the sand while sipping mojitos with my beloved but the Big Guy wanted to share the world with me, via a mouse. I was super in love and totally agreed because it didn’t matter where we went, as long as we were together. 

      Disney Origin Story, Why I'm Applying to the PlanDisney Panel

      Long story slightly shorter (it’s not lost on me that it’s still pretty damn long and I’m not even halfway through), everything was club level, 5–star and surprisingly romantic. YES, holding hands, walking on white sand beaches, kissing under the stars, watching fireworks wrapped in his arms and sipping champagne and eating dessert like calories didn’t exist. It felt like everything I ever wanted on my honeymoon, even if it didn’t look like it. In those 8 days, I grew closer and fell deeper in love with the Big Guy as he shared his magical place with me. Even though there were thousands of people around, it felt intimate and special like it existed just for the two of us. In those moments, Walt Disney World became “our magical place” and I wanted that magic to last forever so we went back every chance we got (get). This is one of the reasons why I’m applying to the planDIsney panel.

      Disney Origin Story, Why I'm Applying to the PlanDisney Panel

      We ended up being “those” people. The obnoxious people who couldn’t stop touting the wonders and magic of WDW. We tried to convince everyone we knew that they needed to go because, we believe, everyone does need to go and often. Who doesn’t want magic and happiness in their life? We’d go with friends. We’d go ourselves. We didn’t care, it just made us feel happy every single time. That’s part of the magic, the nostalgia of feeling like you’re 4 years old and there’s not a worry in the world. It’s just pure, unadulterated joy…unless you let it stress you out and overwhelm you, in which case, some of the magic is dulled. Just go there with a tentative plan and an open heart and mind and you will not be disappointed. If you’ve been, you know.

      Disney Origin Story, Why I'm Applying to the PlanDisney Panel

      Fast forward a few years (and all of our friends and family coming to us for insider tips on planning their Disney trips) and we expanded the Disney lovers club by 2 (our two daughters, Bella and Gabs). We’d been in our twenties, we’d been with friends and family, we’d stayed at all levels of resorts, all times of the year on all different kinds of budgets and every single trip was different. WDW is 1000% a choose-your-own-adventure and every single trip is sprinkled with its own kind of pixie dust and filled with a different kind of magic.

      Disney Origin Story, Why I'm Applying to the PlanDisney Panel

      Then we went as parents and I’m not sure how but somehow, the magic was even greater experiencing it through the eyes of our two favorite human beings. Our first trip as a family of four was when the girls were 3 and 5 years old and my heart swelled up so big that I was sure I would die from happiness.

      That trip was full of oohs and aahs and wonder, the kind that can only be experienced from the princess chair revealed from Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique. If you’ve ever gotten to see your child’s face when that happens, you know that it is a feeling beyond words and unlike anything else. It is palpable joy. And that was it for us. We’ve gone every year since, sometimes twice.

      Disney Origin Story, Why I'm Applying to the PlanDisney Panel

      The girls are teenagers now. Bella’s about to go away to college next year and her biggest dream is to join the Disney College Program and eventually, become a Disney imaginer. That’s her dream. She wants to be a part of the magic for other families and I get it.

      Disney Origin Story, Why I'm Applying to the PlanDisney Panel

      Our family of four has always been one that does everything together. That’s one thing our two very different families did the same. We eat our meals together, we travel together and we share our good times, our bad times and our magical times.

      Disney Origin Story, Why I'm Applying to the PlanDisney Panel

      Love is like that; someone to share everything with. Disney puts an exclamation point on the love and togetherness for us and I suspect, it always will.

      This is our Disney origin story and why I’m applying to the planDisney panel.

      Disney Origin Story, Why I'm Applying to the PlanDisney Panel
    • The Boogie Man; he cometh to suck the boogies

      I am NOT the Mommy who tells her kid about the Boogie Man. I decided this a long time ago because well, its just a tool parents use to scare their children into behaving well. I know, this coming from the same broad who tells her daughters that magical kneecap breaking elves are sent from Santa to keep a watchful eye over them and report back to the Fat Jolly guy, doesn’t make a lot of sense. So, why, you ask, do I draw a line at the “Boogie Man”? Simply because, I tell them monsters are not real and I think they are too young for the whole God/Satan discussion. Therefore, no one is allowed to even joke that the Boogie man is getting anyone in this house. Capiche?

      Unfortunately, I had a little slip today. Yes, one of my girls did something ( I can’t honestly even remember what it was at this point) and I made the comment that the Boogie man something or other. As soon as I said it, I wanted to eat the words. I wanted to swallow them whole and push them deep down inside my stomach but it was too late. Those 2 words had fell on to the most astute ears of all time, the ears of Gabs. You know like the ides of March but much more dangerous.

      What did I do? Well, I don’t lie to my children ( well, I don’t want to ) so how can I get out of this?I’d said it, she knew it meant something not good, so how the hell was I going to explain it all away? My thought process; Sesame street, Cookie Monster ( big blue friendly dude); Mommy fuck up,Boogie Monster; Crazy invisible guy who comes and eats the boogies of little kids who don’t listen. What a train wreck! Clearly, I should have put more thought into this craziness.

      I know, its a terrible cover. One day she’ll know that the Boogie Man is a synonym for Satan but for now she thinks that the Boogie Monster is an invisible dude who comes around if he hears little girls talking back, fighting, telling their Mommy or sister they hate her, or being generally not good ..its the only time he is even aware of their existence.But if he hears, he’ll come and suck all the boogies out of their noses in the middle the night ( sort of like one of those giant bulb suckers which of course, they detest)but ONLY if they are not good.

      What white lies have you told your children when caught in a compromising position? How did it work out for you?We’re you ever busted? I’m pretty sure this whole boogie monster thing is going to blow up all over my face. It’s just a matter of time.Bella listened to my explanation and gave me the “I’m not sure but I’m pretty sure that you’re full of crap Mom” look when she heard the whole sordid explanation. Gabs, on the other hand, she’s been the best she’s been since birth! Bella was pretty good too. She’s not taking any chances with Christmas being so close and all.That’s my smart cookie!Happy Mothering!

    • How to Afford the Superstar Education Your Child Deserves

      How to Afford the Superstar Education Your Child Deserves

      This is part of a sponsored campaign with DiMe Media and Coca-Cola but all opinions expressed about how to pay for college are my own.

      I grew up working class to parents who only graduated high school. My father was a blue-collar worker in a factory and my mom stayed at home and took care of the six of us children. My grandparents were the same, only my grandfather farmed. Bottom line was that I come from a long line of people who work really hard because it was the only choice they had. My parents wanted better for their children.

      I was taught from a very early age that education was the ticket to a new life. If I got a good education and worked really hard, I could have anything I wanted. I could be anyone I wanted. Live anywhere I wanted. I could do anything I wanted, if I were willing to pay the price in determination, dedication and hard work. I was never told there was another option so from the time I could remember; I worked to do my best in school. It wasn’t just about me. I was the hope for better from my parents and I was the example for my younger siblings.

      This lesson was drilled into my head. I’d get A’s my dad would ask, “Why are these not A+ s?” I never felt that I could do enough but going to college was the end goal because it was the means to better. Failure was not an option. The only option I was given was to work hard and to do it. I lived my life on a mission to excel. This is what my parents wanted and it was my duty to succeed for all of us.

      Now, mind you, there was never any plan in action to help me pay for this journey. They expected me to go to college but they had no intention or idea of how to pay for it. It was all up to me. I won’t lie, it was hard. I felt like I had worked hard to get the grades, I should have gotten some help when it came time to pay for university but sometimes what we expect and what we get are not the same so I had to figure it out, on my own.

      I did figure it out. I applied for financial aid, I took out loans and I even did work study in my dorm’s cafeteria freshman year even thought he smell of food repulsed me. It was what I needed to do to cobble together the funds for tuition. Over the years, I would take a semester off here or there to work at odd jobs and save the money. Finally, after 8 years, I graduated with a whole lot of debt. I want better for my girls.

      My girls know that I expect them to go to college. They know how important an education is in this world. It is their part of the bargain to get the grades to be accepted. It is our job as parents to help them and guide them through the financial aid process, scholarship application process and if need be take out loans for them. My goal is for them to focus on school and for us to help them succeeded in college while accruing the least amount of debt. I don’t want them leaving college with a huge financial burden hanging over their heads. I am still paying on my graduate degree loans. There has to be a better way. We have to equip our children not only with the desire to succeed but the means to get there or we are just setting them up for failure, disappointment and heartache.

      This year, Coca-Cola is partnering with the Hispanic Scholarship Fund to help Hispanic families achieve their college dreams and aspirations, as part of the #ForTheDream Hispanic Education Program and the #ForTheDreamSweeps sweepstakes.

      The purpose of Coca-Cola’s #ForTheDream program is to inspire and empower Latino teens and their families to prepare, plan and pay for their college education. Something I wish I had in my toolbox when I was preparing to go to university.

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      Coca-Cola is donating $100,000 to the Hispanic Scholarship Fund. To help raise additional money toward the Hispanic Scholarship Fund, Coca-Cola is donating $1 for every social media post with the hashtag #ForTheDream, up to $10,000.

      Financial pressure is the number one reason that Latino youth do not attend college. As a community supporter and partner of the Hispanic Scholarship Fund, Coca-Cola’s #ForTheDream program is helping provide Hispanic families with the resources needed to attend a college preparatory boarding school and achieve a higher education.

      Coca-Cola understands the importance Latino families place on education, and wants to provide them with the opportunity to achieve their educational goals and become future leaders. The For The Dream program has a sweepstakes component, #ForTheDreamSweeps, in which Coca-Cola is awarding one College Tour Experience and 34 x $500 grants to cover education expenses. For more details about how to get your teens ready for college you can visit the For the Dream microsite. To enter simply share a photo and Tweet or post about why education matters for our youth and community or how your family pushed you to pursue your education.

      I will be giving away a Coca-Cola prize pack to one lucky reader.  Winner will be chosen on August 4th. The prize will include a fun Coca-Cola-themed Summer Prize pack that features a logo cooler bag, sunglasses, Mason jar tumbler and a visor.To enter simply leave a comment below telling me why you think an education is so important?

      How will you teach your child how to pay for college?

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    • This is the Part I Hate

      This is the Part I Hate

      Leaving my children behind when I travel is the hardest thing I do. I travel and I love it. I travel a lot with my kids and the Big Guy. I traveled a lot before I had children. I was born with an insatiable wanderlust and it always begs for more. I don’t se it ever being satisfied. There is an ever growing bucket list of travel destinations because any place can be an adventure if you’re open to it.

      Before I had my girls, I had specifically chosen a career path that would allow me the freedom to travel the world. I wanted to see the whole thing; every nook and cranny and hidden treasure of a culture. I still do; now, I just want to do it with my family.

      Right now, as I type this, I’m watching the sun come up from 13000 feet. The view is spectacular. I only wish my daughters were here to see it with me. But they were left behind on this trip. Sometimes, we moms have to travel the road less traveled alone and that’s good because it allows us to grow and be better for our children.

      I’m headed to New York City this morning. It’s my first trip there, which is ironic because this was the place I’d decided to call home so many years ago. But it wasn’t meant to be. Before my life plan could come together, I met the man I would marry and life took us in other directions, as life often does.

      Still, here I am, like Icarus flying too close to the sun, heading for the missed opportunity trying my best to keep my hubris in check. I’m headed to BlogHer 2015. I haven’t been in a couple years but it seems kismet that I would find myself headed to my original destination with a plethora of opportunities before me on this sunny July morning.

      We just returned from a family road trip on the east coast in Ogunquit, Maine. It was magical and more relaxing than any vacation I’ve ever had. My girls are turning into quite the junior travelers. I can see in them that the wanderlust is strong and that makes me happy. They are miniature foodies with an insatiable desire to know all the places of the world; to speak the language, eat the food and live amongst the people. This is my legacy.

      Of course, this is the part I hate… Leaving them behind when I go on my travels. Since becoming a mother, the world is so much more wonderful and exciting through their eyes. Everything is new and wondrous to them and in so, born again in mine.

      When I leave on a trip, we all feel a little sad about the separation. They miss me and I miss them but while I’m in Manhattan hugging necks and chasing dreams they will be with me like a couple tiny handprints on my heart. I hate to leave them but there is something absolutely magical about knowing that I get to return home to all that love.

      What is your favorite travel destination to visit without children?

    • Nutrisystem Week 10 update~ When Logic Meets Reality

      Nutrisystem Week 10 update~ When Logic Meets Reality

      It’s week 10 and I am down another pound.This pound brings my grand total this far to 15 pounds. I have started a new regime of doing Zumba every morning before I get the girls up for school. It is exhausting and takes a lot of effort on my part but I have to admit, I feel fabulous getting it done first thing in the morning. It gets my day started off on a nice positive note. I know this may sound cheezy but it feels like it somewhat centers me for the day. I’ve only been doing this routine for going on a week and a half but I think it’s going to make a difference going forward. I started by doing 20 minute express Zumba but this week have started doing the 50 minute Zumba party.It flies by. I feel great and can’t wait to see the effects of introducing regular exercise into the routine.

      I thought I’d share a little  more about some of my favorite Nutrisystem foods this week. This week I am going to tell you about my favorite desserts! My favorite Nutrisystem Select frozen dessert is definitively the Creamy Fudge Bar.It’s thick and creamy and tastes delicious.It’s ice cream…on a diet..but doesn’t taste like diet food.


      My favorite shelf stable dessert is, hands down, the fudge brownie. This little dessert is fabulous. I take it, pop it in the microwave for about 13 seconds, cover it with sliced strawberries, and then kiss it will a dollop of cool whip. It is so fantastic, that my kids regularly try to pilferage it off my plate. Sometimes after a rough day, you might want a little piece of heaven to enjoy and what’s better than eating something that taste’s great and is not going to sky rocket your calories and leave you feeling guilty.

      Those are my 2 favorite desserts of the week. Next week, I’ll give you the inside scoop on my favorite dinners. You won’t believe what I get to eat. But since I am telling you how great the food tastes, I should also explain the program to you a little. So, here we go.

      The Science Behind Nutrisystem

      So, what’s the Nutrisystem secret? Simple—they’ve got science on their side. Nutrisystem is based on the proven science of the Glycemic Index, and eating low-GI meals 5 to 6 times a day helps keep your blood sugar and metabolism stable, so your body burns calories more effectively.

      Plus, they’ve found a way to make dieting doable by providing consumers with the foods we love-minus the guilt. ( BONUS! Who doesn’t want to eat yummy food that’s good for you?)
      Everybody’s favorites like Lasagna, Pizza, and chocolate are given a good-for-you spin with fiber, protein and good carbs to help control cravings and keep you feeling satisfied, then packaged into just the right portion sizes so you never go overboard.

      It’s a complete, balanced approach to losing weight and living healthier. It’s such a simple concept, why haven’t I figured this out sooner:) It’s like a light bulb went off and logic and reality walked in the room. I say,”Welcome.Come on in and stay awhile.I’ve been waiting for you, my entire grown up life.”

      In addition, the support and the encouragement that I’ve received from the Nutrisystem staff has been amazing! I believe that the hardest thing about a weight loss program is sticking to it. We get caught up in the minutia of our day to day and we lose sight of our goals. We fall off the diet wagon and if no ones around to help us up or cheer us on, it becomes really easy to just say “I’ll do it tomorrow”  or “I’ll start on Monday”. I’m here to tell you that tomorrow is today! Nutrisystem is so much more than just a company or a diet program, it’s a family. I’ve made invaluable friendships through the Nutrisystem Nation program and gained support from the staff that have aided me with my weight loss. We are all working towards one common goal; to lose weight, and to finally feel comfortable in our own skins again!We can do this and so can you!

      How many of you have made losing weight a New Year resolution? How’s it going? What program are you doing? What exercise are you employing to hit your goals? I’d love to hear from all of you.

      Don’t forget Hooray YOU! This is the year you start your NEW YOU Revolution! and become the you that you want to be.

      DISCLOSURE: Nutrisystem is providing their  program to me free of charge in exchange for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogging Program and weekly updates. I am not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed in this post are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255

    • NO texting while driving for me…anymore!

      Tonight, I settled into my  Sunday evening quiet by turning on the television and mindlessly flipping the dial. I stopped on Extreme Makeover. I NEVER stop on Extreme Makeover, mostly because at some point in the show I will end up crying. Sunday’s are usually bad for me anyway so I figure why add fuel to the fire. But tonight, something was different…Extreme Makeover was calling to me.

      Photo courtesy of Google image

      The show tonight was about the Brown family. The day was like any other day. Alex Brown’s father, Johnny Mack, gave her a kiss on the forehead before he left for work and told her to be good, something I’ve seen the Big Guy do a million times with our own girls.  Something, most of us do an a daily basis. We take a deep breath, kiss those little loves of our lives Goodbye for now and go out into the world or send them out into the world. Only that day, in November of 2009, was not like any other day, it would turn out to be the worst day of the Brown family’s life. That was the day that Jeanne and Johnny Mack Brown lost their daughter, Alex, a senior in high school, got into a 18-wheeler accident.

      Katrina, her sister, lost her big sister and mentor in life. While driving to school, Alex was texting, she was distracted, lost control of her vehicle and rolled her pick up truck according to what the truck accident attorney mentioned.

      This beautiful promising life, about to go off to college and make a difference in the world, was crudely ejected from the vehicle through the windshield, only to have her truck roll on top of her, crushing her and ultimately causing injuries that proved fatal. People who have miraculously survived tragic accidents like this but are unfortunately and severely disabled can seek the legal assistance of social security attorneys in order to have the compensation that they need especially for the medical expenses.

      I can not even imagine the pain and loss Jeanne and Johnny Mack Brown feel on a daily basis. To honor her memory, they spend all their free time traveling to area high schools showing Alex’s rolled truck to other students to demonstrate the possible dangers of texting while driving, spreading the message as far as their funds and abilities will let them.

      They have made it their life’s mission to stop other families from suffering such a great loss by giving advice to other with the help of indianapolis truck accident lawyer.

      Now, I’m not going to lie..I am a drive and text sort of person. ( Well, I was… up until tonight). I know it’s wrong. I know it’s dangerous and could lead to car accidents. Yet, I find myself doing it constantly. But tonight, when I watched this episode, it hit me…what if I were texting and my girls were in the car ( as they usually are)? I could wreck and kill them. KILL THEM! Let that sink in for a moment. Obviously, I don’t want to die but I can’t live with the possibility of putting my littles in danger. Not to mention what a horrible example I am setting for them. Let’s say for a minute that I am the exception and I’m lucky enough to avoid any disasters but one day, in the not so distant future, Bella or Gabs could get into a vehicle and mimic just what they’ve seen their Mommy doing…texting while driving.  God forbid they get into an accident themselves and, or worse still, die. So, tonight, I went to the Remember Alex Brown website and I signed the pledge. I know this sounds hokey and out of character for me. I know I am snarktastic and have mocked Oprah for her pledge against this very thing. But I am big enough to admit when I have been wrong. It just took me a bit to see the error of my ways. I’ve decided that I  refuse to put my children in that kind of danger, my family through that kind of pain or have any part in perpetuating this behavior in my children’s lives. I signed the pledge and I WILL NOT text while driving…ever again. I also what you to learn this here now that you can still file a claim on an accident that you were partially at fault in. I hope that you will take this pledge with me. I don’t really care if you electronically sign a pledge to a foundation, but I ‘d like you all to commit to not texting while driving. Think of yourself..think of your children! The life you may be saving by NOT texting while driving…may be the one that you helped to bring into this world.

    • How to make an Easy, Elegant Thanksgiving Tablescape

      How to make an Easy, Elegant Thanksgiving Tablescape

      Thanksgiving is seriously my holiday jam and this year, I needed a Thanksgiving tablescape to convey that. No joking, aside from Christmas, it’s my absolute favorite holiday. I love everything about it; the food, the family and even the chaos. I love the smell of pumpkin, roasted turkey and sweet potato casserole baking that permeate every nook and cranny of my house. As soon as you walk in the door, it’s like a great big giant hug and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

      Normally, we host between 30-35 people for Thanksgiving dinner. Don’t feel bad for us. We love it. I come from a huge family and it’s always been my dream to give my girls that feeling of a big family. We host dinner for both sides of the family because we want everyone to be close. For us, it is one family.

      Nothing makes my heart soar more than hearing my girls chatter on about their lives to their great grandma Gigi or the way they patiently listen to stories of when their Great Aunt Maxie was a child. I love seeing all of my nieces and nephews laughing and joking together. I love seeing the melding of the Latino and the German cultures but mostly, I love all the love that fills the room like air.

      Unfortunately this year our guest list will be much smaller. This year it will be an intimate Thanksgiving dinner for 13. Since breaking my leg, everyone wanted to give me a break this year and made other plans with in laws and such. It’s okay and I do appreciate the thoughtfulness. I’m still not fully walking on my own and I know they’ll all be around my table again next year. But I will definitely miss the house being filled with the warmth of family.

      You see a long time ago, my husband and I decided that we wanted to host both families for Thanksgiving and we always would because no matter what happened, we wanted our parents to always have a place to come for dinner to celebrate.

      This year may be small but I thought I’d take the opportunity to make it extra special and kick everything up a notch. This is the year for experimenting with a little more elegance and refinement starting with my tablescape.

      Normally, there are so many guests that we use Thanksgiving themed plastic tablecloths and paper goods along with plastic silverware and napkins. This year, with there only being a small group, I’ve decided to break out the chargers and the china.

      The food is always spectacular (here are all the recipes for the perfect dinner) but this year, I want the dinner to be an experience. I want it to feel special and cozy and warm. We might not have the bodies this year but I still want the house to feel cozy and inviting. I want the people who are here to know that they mean everything to us.

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      For my Thanksgiving tablescape, I decided to go with warm neutrals with a little bit of sparkle for elegance.

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      I chose a burlap runner because I feel like it gives the table a natural and inviting feel.

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      I topped that with small wreaths that I used to surround the bottom of my candleholders.

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      I chose white candles to accentuate the crisp white of the plates.

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      I went with robin’s egg blue chargers to give the table a little pop of color and tie in the wallpaper in the room.

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      I opted for my charcoal grey napkins that have silver and gold striations in them. I felt they tied in well with the centerpieces.

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      I feel like it looks beautiful and I can’t wait to eat dinner at this table surrounded by the people that I love most. For more great ideas to create the perfect Thanksgiving tablescape check out Wayfair.

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      What will your Thanksgiving tablescape look like this year?

      Disclosure: I am a Wayfair ambassador and  this is a compensated post but, as always,  all opinions and this Thanksgiving tablescape are my own.

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    • We Are Always Stronger Together #ImWithHer

      We Are Always Stronger Together #ImWithHer

      I’m voting for Hillary Clinton this November because I want a better world for my daughters and Michelle Obama is my new woman crush. I’ve always respected the woman behind President Barack Obama, but never more than last night when she spoke out on behalf of Hillary Clinton. These women know what all parents should know and that is that the presidency is about leaving something better for our kids. It’s about our American legacy, our footprint on the world. We have the power to change it, what will we do with that power.

      With every word we utter, with every action we take, we know our kids are watching us. We as parents are the most important role model.

      Let me tell you, Barack and I take that same approach to our jobs as president and first lady because we know that our words and actions matter, not just to our girls but the children across this country.

      Make no mistake about it, this November, when we get to the polls, that is what we are deciding. Not Democrat or Republican, not left or right. In this election, and every election, it is about who will have the power to shape our children for the next four or eight years of their lives. I am you tonight because in this election, there is only one person who I trust with that responsibility, only one person who I believe is truly qualified to be president of the United States, and that is our friend Hillary Clinton.

      I trust Hillary to lead this country because I have seen her lifelong devotion to our nation’s children. Not just her own daughter, who she has raised to perfection, but every child who needs a champion: kids who take the long way to school to avoid the gangs. Kids who wonder how they will ever afford college. Kids whose parents don’t speak a word of English, but dream of a better life; who look to us to dream of what they can be.

      Hillary has spent decades doing the relentless work to actually make a difference in their lives. Advocating for kids with disabilities as a young lawyer, fighting for children’s health care as first lady, and for quality child care in the senate.

      And when she did not win the nomination eight years ago, she did not get angry or disillusioned. Hillary did not pack up and go home because … Hillary knows that this is so much bigger than her own disappointment. She proudly stepped up to serve our country once again as secretary of state, traveling the globe to keep our kids safe. There were moments when Hillary could have decided that this work was too hard, that the price of public service was too high, that she was tired of being [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][torn] apart for how she looked, or how she talked, or even how she laughed.

      But here’s the thing: What I admire most about Hillary is that she never buckles under pressure.

      She never takes the easy way out. And Hillary Clinton has never quit on anything in her life. And when I think about the kind of president that I want for my girls and all our children, that is what I want. I want someone with the proven strength to persevere.

      Somebody who knows this job and takes it seriously. Somebody who understands that the issues of our nation are not black or white. It cannot be boiled down to 140 characters. Because when you have the nuclear codes at your fingertips and the military in your command, you can’t make snap decisions. You can’t have thin skin or a tendency to lash out. You need to be steady and measured and well-informed.

      You can see the full transcript here, if you want to read it, write it down and commit it to memory like I did.

      Michelle Obama’s speech made me want to go knocking door to door campaigning for Hillary Clinton.

      A president that truly believes in the [precedent] that our founders put forth all those years ago — that we are all created equal, each a beloved part of the great American story. When crisis hits, we don’t turn against each other, we listen to each other. We lean on each other. We are always stronger together. I am here tonight because I know that that is the kind of president Hillary Clinton will be and that is why in this election, I’m with her.

      You see, Hillary understands that the presidency is about one thing and one thing only. It is about leaving something better for our kids. That is how we have always moved this country forward — by all of us coming together on behalf of our children. Volunteering to coach the team, teach the Sunday school class, because they know it takes a village.

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      Michelle Obama moved me to tears because she is everything that is right with this country. I am sick of the mudslinging of the Trump camp. I don’t want to go low, I want to go high. So, I am asking all of you to register to vote this year and get out and vote for Hillary Clinton. Don’t let something terrible happen to this country of ours, let’s fight to keep it great. I’m with her all the way.

      I say Hillary Clinton for President 2016 and Michelle Obama for President 2024!

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