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I’m officially the mom of a tween girl and a teen girl and honestly, I’ve been afraid of raising teenage girls ever since I was a teenage girl. Hormones make teenage girls feel crazy and I was awful in so many ways. I occasionally read my old diaries to remind myself that I was the worst. This allows me to have some patience with my own teenage girl.
Don’t get me wrong, I got straight A’s and I didn’t smoke or drink or do drugs but I was driving at 13 and going to clubs in downtown Chicago since I was 14. But it was very innocent because I was so naïve. I know how ridiculous it sounds.
We’ve hit that point in raising teenage girls where I can’t say, “When I was your age…” because I’ll be ratting myself out and giving them too many bad ideas. I would die if Bella wanted to drive my car or, heaven forbid, asked to go to a club in the city. I’d be too worried. Apparently, I am way less cool than my mom must have been. I want to tell my girls to keep singing at the top of their lungs when the rest of the world tells them to be quiet. That’s the kind of mom I want to be.
What were my parents thinking? Maybe I didn’t even ask. Maybe I bent the truth as to where I was going and what I was doing. I can’t even remember. I’m sure my teen brain rationalized it somehow. I just know I was doing a lot of things that could have gone really terribly and been pretty dangerous, only I was too stupid and pumped up on hormones to realize it.
My youth was not misspent, it was very much lived and I have no regrets but the thought of my girls doing some of the things that I did, scares the hell out of me. I’ve spent some time reflecting on what it really means to be raising teenage girls and figuring out how to get through this phase with our relationship intact and without them doing anything that puts their lives in too much extraneous danger.
Here are my tips for raising teenage girls (and tween girls) that I’ve learned so far.
Let them be who they are meant to become.
You have to stand back to give them space to make mistakes and not judge them and tell them that you told them so. You’re a parent so your main job is to love unconditionally and support them, even when they don’t make the choice you would’ve recommended. The difficulty of this task is not lost on this reformed helicopter mom.
Speak positively.
As a mom, for the past 13 years, I’ve had to learn to lose the sarcasm and learn to speak more positively. Thankfully, for all of us, I was getting my Masters in Elementary Education when I got pregnant with Bella and so I had a couple years of actual courses that taught me how to interact with small children. Positive reinforcement is always better than punishment, so moms, always look for the sunny side, even in the teen years.
Remember to breathe and count to ten.
This one is hard for me sometimes. Patience is not something that comes naturally to me. I am very much a speak first then think kind of person. But, especially since entering the tween years, I’ve made it a point to stop and step back for a moment before reacting. That doesn’t always work because I’m a human but just the fact that I am cognizant of the situation helps me to react better to my girls.
Oh, the amount and severity of eye rolls that I have endured while on my journey to raising teen girls has been head spinning. I find this tween/ teen habit to be particularly offensive but I try to remember how often I rolled my eyes at my parents (and still do to people on a daily basis) and I try not to be too offended. I know it’s not personal, teen girls think everyone and everything is stupid. This is their defense for when they don’t understand, don’t approve or don’t know what else to say. I’m not even sure they know they are doing it anymore so don’t take it personally and if you can, ignore it. Easier said than done.
It’s good to have expectations but don’t force your agenda on them. You can’t relive your life through them.
Your teenage daughter is not your chance to relive your youth. Don’t force them to be who you were; who you wish you were or who you could never have been. My philosophy is that they are people and by the time they are teenagers, they have formed some thoughts and beliefs of their own. You have acquired wisdom from living through it already once so be there to guide them and offer advice but you cannot tell them what to like or enjoy. They are their own people. Let them be fierce.
These are my tips for raising teenage girls (and tween girls) that I’ve learned so far.
Well, I started writing this post and it ended up being very long, so I am making it a 3 part series. I will publish the rest of the 15 tips over the next weeks.
It’s summertime and I’ve been spending a lot of time in close quarters with my tween and teenage girls. Not going to lie, being present all the time for girls this age is challenging ( they have a lot to say, all the time) but if you can just listen through the noise that surrounds all the very important things they are trying to tell you, you will find that these young ladies are pretty freaking amazing.
Not in a hokey, sugary sweet way but in a fierce, no none sense, stand up, speak up soul beauty that sees love and wonder in the world. Teenage girls intuitively seek the good and they are not taking the other bull ish. These girls are powerful and they have voices they are not afraid to use and I’d like to think we, the women who came before them; their mothers, sisters, grandmothers and aunts who busted their butts to be seen have empowered them to fight back. Maybe we couldn’t make the world exactly what they deserve but we’ve raised them to be fierce enough to survive it and continue the work to make the world better for their daughters.
Teenage girls are by far the most powerful force and resource our world has to offer. They are change makers and a force to be reckoned with. As parents, we have to ensure that they never lose that. I want to lift my girls up to always keep that fire burning inside of them. I never want them to be afraid to speak their truth. I want them to know that their words, thoughts, beliefs and ideas are important and worth being heard.
“If you have something worth saying, stand up and tell your truth. Never be afraid to speak up and stand up for what’s important to you!” My dad taught me this. ” Where there is a will, there is a way. You can be and do anything you want to if you are willing to work for it. No dream is too big.” My mom taught me this. These are words that carry me through my life. These are the gifts I want to give my girls and all the little girls and teenage girls and women of the world. “You are amazing and you are stronger than you know. You can do anything you want to. You are worth it. Don’t let anyone else steal your joy. The only person you need to make happy is you. You have to live with the woman in the mirror. Be your best version of you. Nobody’s opinion counts.”
These are my tips for raising teenage girls and not damaging your relationship Part 3
Teach them respect; of others and most importantly of themselves.
My dad was all about respect and I never fully understood his obsession with his need for us to be respectful. He wanted us to respect ourselves and respect others, especially our parents. Then, I realized that the respect you have for yourself sets the bar for how others treat you. If you don’t respect yourself enough to make good choices and be willing to walk away from people who don’t respect you, you will never be able to live your best life. You will be at the mercy of other people’s opinions of you. Treating others with respect is a reflection of who you are as a human being. I teach my girls to treat everyone with human decency but reverent respect has to be earned. Parents you also need to remember to respect your teenage girls. They need to feel like they have a say. They are no longer toddlers, they are an active part of the family and as such their thoughts and opinions do matter.
Let them know that you don’t give a damn what everyone else is doing.
I tell my girls daily, “I don’t care about other people’s kids.” I do. But my point is, if Claire wants to vape and send sexts to the entire 7th-grade male population, that does not make it ok or acceptable. I’ve taught my girls since they were babies not to compare themselves to others so I hope it works out in the end. I know everyone feels peer pressure but I’m hoping that I’ve raised the girls with enough self-respect and confidence that the need to like themselves trumps the need for others to approve of who they are.
Family time.
This is so important. Teenage girls need family time. Don’t be fooled by the devil may care, self-absorbed persona they’ve taken on recently, they still need that touchstone of family. They need to be able to let down the façade of coolness that all teenage girls put up to fit in. They need time to be goofy and funny and imperfect with the people who will love them no matter what. These moments playing games, traveling, telling jokes, being silly, doing face masks or just watching movies or going for walks are where the memories are made. This is the downtime they need in their life to survive the stresses of being teenage girls. It’s hard. Remember?
Limit screen time.
Not because you are mean and you hate devices but because time is precious and it’s moving a million miles a minute at this phase, give them space and respect their ideas but make sure they know how to interact socially with people face-to-face before you send them out into the world. So many children have their faces stuck in a device from toddlerhood, it’s just a symptom of the world we live in today but I refuse to let the girls be so digitally engaged that they are not physically engaged with the world around them. I want my girls to talk to people, look them in the eye and be present in those moments. You can’t do that when you are distracted by your phone, iPad, social media or the online world. I want them to live and act in the real world because those experiences with people, even the bad ones, are worth living.
Don’t be afraid.
Teenage girls can sense fear. Just kidding, they’re not bears. But I do have to say, I am really loving this phase of raising teenage girls. Like I said it’s just begun but I feel that we are growing closer. I am the welcoming wagon for womanhood and I feel like I’m a pretty damn good party thrower. Just remember beneath all those gangly body parts, confused skin, hormones, and eye rolling is buried that newborn baby they laid on your chest all those years ago and they need you, even if it seems like on some days they don’t want you. Don’t be afraid just love the shit out of them, all day and every day. At the end of the day, you are doing the right thing.
I just received my FIRST ever blog award! I am totally over the moon! Thank you so much J from https://boobiesbabiesblog.blogspot.com/ ! You so rock! I totally feel like I just won a Pulitzer!:) You have so made my day, no my week!!! ( My pseudo Pulitzer acceptance speech! Yeah,I’ve never dreamed about this.)Oh, my Gosh…I’d like to thank my fellow Mommies, my dear husband ,without whom I would never have become a Mommy, and my girls, without whom this blog would simply be the ravings of a mad woman:) Hey, wait a minute….do I hear music swelling in the background? Don’t make me go all Robert Downey Jr. on your booties! This is my blog, I can ramble on as long as I’d like.LOL So, now that that’s out of the way, I would love to pass this lovely award on to some of my favorite blogs! I hope rocks your world the way it has rocked mine:) You ladies entertain and provide a sisterhood to me that you may never understand. Enjoy! The rules of having this award are:
1. Put this award on your blog, whether as an entirely new post like this, and/or on your sidebar. 2. Choose 15 other newly discovered bloggers that you love, and award them with this. 3. Send them a message/comment to let them know.
** These are the 15 lovely blogs that I’ve recently happened upon that more than deserve this great award: 1. J @ Boobies, Babies and A Blog (https://boobiesbabiesblog.blogspot.com/) 2.Peryl @ Parenting Ad absurdum(https://blog.seattlepi.com/parentingadabsurdum/) 3.Juliana @ A Blonde walks into a blog (https://blondeinablog.blogspot.com/) 4. The Toy Box years (https://thetoyboxyears.blogspot.com/) 5. It’s always something around here (https://www.itsalwayssomethingaroundhere.com/) 6.Sarah @ Cars, trucks & Teething rings (https://carstrucksandteethingrings.blogspot.com/) 7.Momtrol Freak (https://www.momtrolfreak.com/momtrolfreak/) 8.Amy @ Snarky Mommy.com (https://www.snarkymommy.com/) 9.Not Exactly Mother of the year (https://notexactlymotheroftheyear.com/) 10.Mommy Hood Exposed (https://mommyhoodexposed.blogspot.com/) 11.Double Duty Mommy (https://www.doubledutymommy.com/) 12.Coming Clean (https://parentingconfessions.blogspot.com/) 13.Aging Mommy- Thoughts of a First time older mom (https://agingmommyblog.blogspot.com/) 14.It’s a Mummy’s life (https://itsamummyslife.blogspot.com/) 15.Not Far from the Maddening Crowd (https://hearth-mother.blogspot.com/)
Have a great weekend everyone & keep up the great work, as you all entertain and inspire me daily!
Have you been wracking your brain and every gift guide on the Internet trying to find a gift to wow? The holidays are here and everyone is trying to find that perfect gift for the woman they love. It’s no small feat because women are as different as snowflakes and no two are alike. For example, I am a tech lover but I also like beautiful girly things; CES is my Disney World and beautiful things are my weakness. These are the top things on my list this year.
If the woman in your life is into tech or fashion, she will love almost everything on this gift guide.
Everyone who knows me, knows that daisies are one of my favorite flowers because my Grandma was named Daisy. Inspired by the boundless spirit of daisies and blue skies, Daisy Dream reflects Marc Jacobs’ irresistible mix of intricate details, elegance, and femininity for a fresh interpretation of the iconic Daisy motif. The fruity-floral fragrance has a light and airy touch, bursting with top notes of blackberry, grapefruit, and pear. The heart notes are introduced with a bouquet of jasmine, lychee, and blue wisteria, and a medley of white woods, musks, and coconut water reveal the base notes.
The glass bottle is enveloped in a shawl of laced daisies, topped with a silver cap, and adorned with gold hues and daisy accents. The bottle is as beautiful as the scent inside. I didn’t think that I could love anything more than my Grandma Daisy but this scent comes close.
Maximize the fashion potential of your wardrobe with this trans-seasonal boot, crafted from waterproof leather with a wool blend shaft and decorative double buckle detail. The Simmens is lined with luxurious, natural wool for moisture-wicking comfort and features a new outsole design, utilizing cork-infused White Spider rubber for optimum traction in slippery situations. $170.
Helena Locket by BaubleBar and Misfit Flash
Make a statement with the Helena locket. It features vintage accents with classic BaubleBar sparkle. The fashion –forward accessories are as smart as they are stunning. The BaubleBar Locket opens to reveal Misfit’s sportiest tech- the Flash fitness tracker. Misfit Flash tracks your sleep and activity levels, including calories burned, distance traveled, steps taken and sleep quality and allows you to set your personal goals and check your progress. The Helena is exclusively available at Target. $69.99
The first wireless charging ecosystem for iPhone eliminates the need for cords from the lives of iPhone users. The all-too-familiar feeling of sifting through a bag, crawling under a desk or standing tethered to the wall to charge a phone is now obsolete. STACKED advances the busy lives of mobile users by enabling both a full charge and connectivity at all times, without a life full of wires.
The shortest distance between two points is no distance at all. STACKED charges faster than any other technology because it comes in direct contact with the phone. The beauty of the bundle system is that the Power Pack is what needs to be recharged, not the phone itself. The Power Pack is recharged via the included AC wall adapter, which allows up to five Power Packs to be charged at once. Users can now maintain an arsenal of wireless charging solutions at their disposal at all times. $129.
Aventura clothing is a lifestyle apparel brand that makes and sells comfortable clothing with an active focus while being thoughtful to both people and the environment. Aventura is family owned since 1965, creating a supportive family-oriented culture where the little details of life (and clothing) are cherished. Aventura makes the perfect every day clothing. It’s well made, quality clothing made to fit a woman’s body.
Aventura is passionate about creating fashionable clothing with low environmental impact. Their eco-friendly styles not only prevent synthetic fertilizers and farm chemicals from polluting the soil, they look and feel amazing. Now through December 31st, free standard shipping is available.
These chic Rose Gold headphones with A-Audio’s distinctive silhouette and sound quality can’t be beat for the music lover on your list. The ear cups with memory foam padding for comfort and isolated sound collapse for easy storage and travel. Built with 40mm custom drivers, powerful circuitry and anti-vibration aluminum for premium sound. Bonus, the Lyric has dual jacks for sharing music with friends. $199
I’ve wanted one of these since day one. I finally got one and I am in love and you will be too. It’s all the quality and ease of usability that we have come to know and love in Apple products, right there at your wrist. Apple Watch Sport features a rose gold anodized aluminum case, retina display with Force Touch. It also has a heart rate sensor, accelerometer, and gyroscope with up to 18 hours of battery life. My favorite feature, aside from voice texting, is that its water resistant so no worries if I accidentally run it under the faucet. It’s beautiful, functional and the perfect gift for any woman on your list this year. $350.
Women need the most sleep because generally we are the caretakers of the family. Yet, we are the ones who get the least amount of sleep. LilyBed has taken this into consideration and designed the first bed made for a woman’s body but strong enough for a man. A few of the amazing features of the LilyBed mattress in a box include premium cover that’s soft, cool and hypoallergenic, super soft layer surface, responsive core for perfect balance and complimentary full body support. Bottom line, it’s the best night’s sleep I’ve had in years.
Inspired by the elegance and lightness of feathers, these airy dangle earrings represent stunning, natural beauty. Shimmering stones accentuate the splendor of their stylized form, making them a great choice for eveningwear. Sparkling clear cubic zirconias and swirls of sterling silver depict feathers in these beautiful dangle earrings. $100.00
Lomo’Instant’s new wide instant camera lives up the Lomo rep. This fun vintage-inspired camera kit features three creative shooting modes and comes with three cool lens attachments (wide-angle, close-up, and splitzer), a lens cap that double as a shutter remote control and easy-change color gels that add a wash of color to your photo subjects. It’s like Hipstamatic but in real camera form. I’m as excited about this as I am the USB TypeWriter and Qwerkywriter. $259
Sleep solution made of a Bluetooth® enabled sleep mat and app that cycles through temperatures through the night to mimic your body’s circadian rhythm so that you wake up well-rested. It warms slightly when you are going to sleep; cools you down during the middle of the night, and then warms you back up to mimic your natural circadian rhythm. Starting temperature range: 69° – 105°
Controlled using free nuyu™ app which can be used with the Activity Monitor to track sleep. It is also machine washable mattress pad and hose, washer bag included. $499.99
I have a great Nikon DSLR that I depend on for most of my travel and family photos but, honestly, I am a big iPhonographer. My phone is never far away and always convenient to shoot with so I’m super excited about the Olloclip Active Lens. Olloclip Active Lens is a compact, lightweight, 2-in-1 with a telephoto lens and ultra-wide angle lens that snaps onto your iPhone 6/S or iPhone 6 Plus/6S Plus. It works with both the front and rear facing cameras on the phone too. Easy to use, just snap it on and snap it off. $99.99
Never miss the moment. When extraordinary happens, capture it with the accelerated α77 II with an astounding 79 high-density AF points, 12fps continuous shooting, and a 24.3MP Exmor CMOS sensor. Every moment is made eternal. Translucent Mirror Technology enables precise phase-detection AF in live view and movie modes. $849.
Built with individuality and simplicity in mind, Brooklyn Bedding delivers personalized comfort with a bed-in-a-box designed for every type of sleeper. Breaking the “one-comfort-fits-all” mold, three sleep comfort levels cater to every type of sleeper with Soft, Medium and Firm options. Luxurious, soft quilted pillow top cover knitted with moisture-wicking cotton for cloud-like feel and breathability. It’s like sleeping on a cloud. $450 – $1,050
Every mom I know will want this palm-sized tracking device that notifies parents of their children’s exact location via companion iOS or Android application, providing peace of mind. This user-friendly device that can be tucked in a child’s pocket or clipped on their backpack
Panic alert button sends the current location of a child to multiple devices.
Battery lasts up to seven days and can be recharged via integrated micro-USB port. Tracking services range from $5.99/month for 12 months, or $7.99/month for 6 months
The Zip is a super-simple, instant photo printer. Turn it on, connect it to your iPhone or Android via Bluetooth and hit the print button on the free app. The result: 2X3” full-color instant prints. The Zip uses special photo paper (a 30-pack only costs $14.99) that’s ink free and comes out dry-to-the-touch. $129.99
Zara is my favorite place to buy affordable clothing that is cute and feminine. The inventory is constantly updating for the seasons and I love the feminine fabrics and cuts. It’s a great selection of outfits for work and evening wear.
The DxO One will turn your iPhone or iPad into a DSLR quality camera for less than the price of a DSLR. It pairs perfectly with your iPhone so that you can take amazing photos anywhere. It shoots 2.1-MP photos and 1080p video and you can toggle between the two modes with a tiny 1-inch touch screen on the side of the device. The DxO One gives photographers DSLR-like modes like aperture priority, shutter priority, program and manual. $599.
If you are looking for something like nothing else, might I suggest an ugly sweater or Christmas jumper from Tipsy Elves. I recently received the Women’s Blue Reindeer Jumpsuit and they are the super cozy and toasty. The design has a bold blue background a white Fair isle design with grazing reindeer. The front pockets include zippers and a red accent color on the cuffs to complete the outfit. This jumper is great for Christmas morning, lounging during holiday break or wearing to your favorite ugly sweater party. Bonus, it also comes in Mens and children’s sizes.
Margaritaville®: New Key West™ Frozen Concoction Maker® This is the perfect gift to celebrate at all the holiday parties and will definitley help you ring in the New Year! Refreshed version of this classic now features an extra-large ice reservoir that holds ice for 3 full pitchers so you can enjoy the party longer before it’s time to refill
· Shaves ice, instead of crushing like other machines, for perfectly smooth beverages
· Margaritaville® maritime detailing that features a new silver base to match modern home décor
· Produces 36-ounces of restaurant-quality frozen drinks
· Includes manual shave & blend controls
· Includes a 36 oz., sturdy glass blending-jar and with Easy Pour lid
Price: $399.99
What’s your favorite present on this gift guide?
Disclosure: Some of the products on this gift guide were provided for review purposes but entirely opinions are my own.
If you read last week’s part 1 of tips for raising teenage girls and you’ve returned, welcome back. You are certainly among friends. Raising teen girls is difficult regardless of how the kid behaves. She can be the most complacent, compliant, sweet teenage girl of all teenage girls and you will still need to know these tips because there is a hormonal storm brewing inside that child and it is our responsibility as parents, to try and make the transition as easy as possible.
Not like we can have any kind of control of what they are thinking or how they are feeling or how any of it is going to land on them. Just remember puberty is like a bomb going off inside of a girl. She has no idea how to deal with all of these emotions, her body and the sexual way she might be feeling towards boys (or girls). It’s all okay. We don’t have to fix it. We just have to be there to listen and understand.
I know you are going to have days where you feel at your wits end. I’ve got a tween and a teenage girl, so this happens to me quite a bit these days. I’ve learned to try and not take it personally. The truth is it hurts. There is nothing wrong with taking a minute to react. Sometimes you just have to step back, take a breath and think about what you are about to do because blowing up at a teenage girl is about as helpful as carrying a paper umbrella in a monsoon.It’s actually ridiculous and someone might get hurt.
Here are my Next 5 Tips for Raising Teenage Girls
The time for catching your teenager when they fall is over. It’s time to help them up when they stumble because they have to learn some lessons on their own.
Obviously, no one wants to watch their child get hurt. When they were learning to walk, I sheltered them; catching them before they fell. But as parents to teenage girls, you have to let go a little. This is when they learn to make good choices on their own. This is when we have to have a little faith in all the parenting we have done up until now. We have to teach them to live in this world without us, so we have to learn to trust them to make those good choices.
Bella hit 13 and it suddenly became abundantly clear to me that our time together under the same roof, seeing her sweet sleepy face stumble into my kitchen every morning and kissing me good morning are coming quickly to an end. I have 5 years and it is not enough so make time to have alone time with your teenage girls. They may not seem like they need or want it but they do, more than ever. These alone times are when they feel free to ask you questions and talk freely. Do something they like. It doesn’t even matter what it is. It’s not about what you do or where you go, it’s about the time together. Always remember that.
Privacy for your teenager.
They are no longer children. My tween and teenage girls are starting to look a lot more like young ladies and a lot less like children but they still need parental guidance. At the same time, they need and deserve privacy to think and be alone with their thoughts. This is a delicate balance of letting go and holding on. Check-in. I know my girls need space sometimes, so do I. They are trying to figure out all of this too. Their bodies are changing. Their minds are focusing on different things. It’s like being reborn and your own skin doesn’t feel like it fits anymore and everyone you know is going through the same thing. You love it but you kind of hate it but mostly, you need space to figure it all out without someone over your shoulder at every moment. But remember to let them know you are still there, whenever they need you.
Love your teenager for who they are, not who you want them to be. They are a person, they have free thought and you have to give them the independence to explore who they are becoming.
Just love them no matter what even when you don’t completely understand or you think they are overreacting to something you know will pass. You know because you’ve already lived through it. Remember, when you are a teenage girl and going through these things for the first time, you don’t have the benefit of experience or wisdom. It is huge. Also, the teen years are for figuring out what you like and believe independent of your parents and those around you, so give them that space and don’t discourage them because they aren’t just like you were or are. Just remember how much you love them and remind them that you will keep on loving them, no matter what. Love them unconditionally. No matter how big they get, they are still your child and will always need your love and support.
Teenage girls like to talk a lot. A lot of it is not relevant to your life. I can tell you my girls love to share with me all the business of everyone they know or will ever know and everything that is going on in their world. 95% of it is not that pertinent to my life but what is very important to my life is them and keeping those lines of communication open. Sometimes you have to listen to a lot of stories about Kayley’s sister’s best friend’s boyfriend to hear one nugget of who your own teenage daughter is crushing on and how she is feeling and what is going on with that. You need to be there for that and they need to know you are listening so put on your best “interested” face and listen because it’s worth it when they talk to you about the important things.
Hope you’ll come back next week when I’ll share the last of my 5 tips for raising teenage girls (so far).
Disclosure: This back-to-school post was sponsored by Target but my love of all things Target are all my own.
Today, I got the email that our school supply list is ready and waiting. How can it be that it’s almost time for back-to-school already? It’s already time to hit Target with my school supply list in hand and start my annual “crazed mom on a mission” scavenger hunt for just the right supplies.
As a child, back-to-school was a favorite time of year for me. I loved the smell of new folders; the chance to shine my personality through with a new Unicorn Trapper Keeper and, of course, back-to-school clothes shopping was my favorite thing to do.
But as a parent, it’s a little different. Every August, I know it’s time to let go just a little bit more. With each passing new beginning, I am painfully aware that I have one less school year with my child. I’m sad about the letting go but so proud of their achievements so I try to make every back-to-school special.
My daughters see things completely different, they are ecstatic about the chance to see their friends again and, even though they won’t admit it, we all look forward to the return of our routine. The new school year is also a chance to reinvent themselves, as far as style and personality are concerned. There’s just one small problem – my girls wear uniforms. But we never let something like school uniform restrictions stop us from letting our personality shine through.
My girls have to wear school-mandated pants, shorts, polos and skirts or jumpers. There is no wiggle room here. This is an absolute. Even a rogue button or pocket is a violation of dress code and can warrant disciplinary actions, so we stay within the uniform guidelines but when it comes to socks, shoes, belts, jewelry, hair baubles, coats and school supplies, that is where the girls can pick what they want. My girls live for shopping for these pieces.
Lucky for us, Target sells uniform pieces and when it comes to accessorizing and dressing up lockers and school supplies, they’ve got that covered too. Talk about one-stop shopping.
While my oldest is excited about shopping for socks, shoes, belts, jewelry, hair baubles and coats to let her real style shine through. She also can’t wait to find the perfect outfit for the first dress down day of the year because it lets everyone know what her “real” style is and when you wear uniforms every day of the year, this is a really big deal.
My youngest, however, is really excited about the Frozen licensed products available this year. Target has Frozen pencils, composition books, notebooks, folders, backpacks and lunch bags. They also have a great selection of Star Wars, Avengers and Minions products for this year’s back-to-school. If you have to buy school supplies anyways, why not get your favorite characters to make it a little more fun?
A few friendly tips that have helped my family get through back-to-school shopping and actually enjoy it:
Start shopping as soon as the school supply list becomes available if you don’t want to end up frustrated with all the masses that waited until the last minute. Been there, done that. Not doing it again.
Go early in the day so the kids are not tired, cranky or wanting to be someplace else.
Feed everyone before you start shopping. Hangry and shopping do not pair well together.
Go with an open heart and mind and let your child allow their personality to shine through. It might just be socks or a folder to you but to your child, it might mean everything.
Enjoy every second of it because it all goes by too quickly. Take the chance to make it a day of bonding with your children. We make a day of it with our girls.
Target always makes it easy for our family to head back to school. This is why Target is my first choice for shopping for all the things my family needs. This year won’t be any different.
How are you preparing for back-to-school this year?
Disclosure: This post reflects a compensated editorial partnership with the Healthy For Good initiative of the American Heart Association. The views, opinions and positions expressed within this post belong to The Truth and do not necessarily represent those of The American Heart Association unless explicitly stated.
Food is something that I’ve always had a strained relationship with. Kind of like that bad boyfriend you just can’t quit. Let me rephrase it, it’s not the quitting part that I’ve had the problem with, it’s the walking away in a healthy way.
As many of you know, I have a past with eating disorders. It started when I was 12, the same age my oldest daughter is now, and it lasted actively until I was 25-years-old — though anyone who has ever survived disordered eating will tell you, much like alcoholism, it’s a lifelong disease but unlike alcohol, you can’t quit food and that has always been the trick.
I won’t spend a lot of time explaining my past with anorexia and bulimia because I’ve done that already. If you are interested, you can read all about my eating disorders here and my body dysmorphic disorder here. I just wanted you to know where I’m coming from now. We are all products of our past, after all.
As I said, I have daughters; my oldest is 12 and my youngest is 10 and one of my biggest fears since becoming a mom is that they’d inherit my predisposition to eating disorders. So, I decided years ago that I needed to shift my thinking from dieting and restricting to eating healthy, moving more and controlling my portions. For better or worse, we are our children’s first role models. They see and hear everything we do, even the words we don’t speak. These little people are smarter than we usually give them credit for.
But how does a woman who has spent her entire adult life, since she was 12-years-old, having a love/hate relationship with food and her own body teach two little girls to be healthy?
It’s hard. It’s really hard. It’s something I work on every single day. I have become very aware of just how disordered I was through this journey of motherhood but it’s also made me more mindful of what kind of relationship with food that I want to model for my girls.
My eating disorders have made it so that I have a better handle on what to say and not say, do and not do, in relation to food and body image with my girls. I’d like to think, if anything good could possibly ever come from eating disorders, it was that they made me better equipped to raise strong, positive self-image, self-loving, confident and healthy girls and that almost makes what I went through worth it.
Here are my tips for raising healthy daughters.
So how do I do it? How do I model healthy eating habits for two little girls on the precipice of becoming women? Carefully and thoughtfully. We try to keep red meat to once a week or less. I’ve always fed the girls a variety of foods that included lean protein, whole grains, fruits, and vegetables. Those are the staples but I have also taught my girls that everything is okay in moderation. There can be no absolutes because always and never just end in disappointment and fall short. I also give them probiotics from TerraOrigin.com for their digestive system.
It’s my responsibility to demonstrate a healthy lifestyle that includes free will, informed food choices, living actively and drinking plenty of water. No one says that has to be boring. My girls love infused waters. I want being healthy to be a way of life for them, not a chore so we look for activities that they enjoy doing. It doesn’t matter so much what you are doing, just that you are moving. Food is fuel for the body and our bodies really are a temple. But we only get one, so we’ve got to take care of it.
Don’t get me wrong, we’re foodies in this house. We love a good meal full of different colors, textures and flavors. We love to try new foods, the more exotic the better. In fact, we implemented a rule when the girls were still toddlers that you try everything at least twice and if you hate it, well, then you try it again at a later date. This has made for children who are very food adventurous which helps to integrate a variety of healthy foods rather than them always wanting chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese but hey, like I said that’s okay too, in moderation.
One of our favorite things to do, and we’ve done this since the kids were small, is to cook together. Both girls love to help us cook. I found out a long time ago that even if there is something that they don’t really like, if they help cook it, they will eat it. Somehow, their hard work seems to magically make it infinitely more appetizing to them. Plus, it gives us the chance to experiment with new recipes and flavors. For instance, why not throw some fruit on the grill?
These are just a few simple tips for raising healthy daughters.
The biggest thing I do and it really is so simple, if you don’t want your family to eat certain things, don’t buy them. Why not do a pantry audit and add healthy staples to your shopping list. If unhealthy foods aren’t in the house, they’re harder to put into your body. If you don’t want pop and chicken nuggets to be a part of your kid’s regular diet, then don’t let it be an available option. This will eliminate you having to police what your children eat.
I don’t ever want to tell my children not to eat something because I think the natural assumption when you tell someone not to eat something is that they don’t need it. And, speaking from experience, especially coming from a parent, thinking they think you are anything less than perfect is soul crushing. Not that any of us think we are truly perfect but we all believe, at least our parents believe we are.
The key is trying to be mindful and purposeful in what we eat most of the time. Sure, sometimes we want a pizza night or some frozen custard but I really try to make that the exception more than the rule.
If you are like me, you are always looking for good resources to keep your family healthy. The American Heart Association’s Healthy For Good website is a great resource full of healthy living content. It offers an extensive suite of recipes, videos, and editorial/infographic health content. Healthy For Good focuses on the following 4 pillars.
EAT SMART (smart shopping, cooking, and label reading)
ADD COLOR (eating healthier by adding colorful fruits and vegetables to your meals)
BE WELL (whole body health; including mindfulness, stress reduction, wellness)
Did you know that June is National Fresh Fruit and Veggie Month? What could be a more perfect time to get some fresh inspiration from the American Heart Association’s Healthy For Good Eat Smart and Add Color pillars? I say eat the rainbow! Variety is the spice of life and it’s healthier too.
The AHA’s ultimate goal is to help people navigate barriers so they can create and maintain behavior change. They don’t just tell you what to do, they show you!
Why not join the Healthy For Good movement for amazing weekly tips, recipes and motivation (scroll down here www.heart.org/HealthyForGood and click “join the movement.” I did! What are you waiting for?
What are your best tips for raising healthy daughters or sons?
I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t had the chance to share some very important news. No, exhale, I am NOT pregnant. We’re not having that announcement ever again. My uterus has gone on holiday. I will just live vicariously through all my friends and family who keep having their own sweet, baby smell bundles that keep making my ovaries twitch. My announcement is that I am a brand, spanking new addition to the Aventura Clothing ambassador family and I am thrilled.
Aventura Clothing is an awesome family owned brand that’s been around since 1965 with a focus on environmental sustainability and high quality fashion for the modern woman on the move. Aventura Clothing is a socially conscious and each piece is carefully crafted to be comfortable with a focus on an active lifestyle using materials like organic cotton, bamboo blends and recycled polyester. The eco-friendly styles prevent synthetic fertilizers and farm chemicals from polluting the soil. Aventura Clothing is the perfect marriage between comfort and style plus you can feel good about wearing it because no earth was harmed in the making of your fashion.
I received my first order right before we went on spring break and you better believe I took all of it to Disney World with me. Everything I ordered was lightweight and in bright, summery colors so it was perfect for the Florida heat and professional enough to wear to a conference. Bonus, it all traveled easily and most without wrinkling. Aventura is a traveler’s perfect choice in fashion.
I chose three different outfits with a few simple, classic pieces that could be easily swapped in and out to create several different outfits. I will highlight them individually as the summer goes on but today, I would like to highlight three of my favorite pieces.
The paper straw fedora has a unique geometric pattern and stylish black hat band. It fits like a glove and looks adorable with just about anything you wear it with. Bonus: It hides my bad hair days easily and no one’s the wiser. This may be my new favorite piece for all seasons.
The Juliette is the perfect lightweight sweater for spring, summer or fall. With a name like Juliette, how can your mind not conjure up images of feminine perfection.It’s comfortable and stylish looking with just the right amount of sass. I love the feminine cut and drape. It hugs my Latina girl curves but hangs in a way that doesn’t look like it’s too small. I’m embarrassed to admit it but since it’s arrival, it’s been worn more times than it probably should have been. I just love it.
It’s perfect for every occasion that calls for classic elegance from an afternoon networking at a conference to an evening spent enjoying drinks over casual conversation with your favorite guy, this dress is ready for all your summertime soirees. The rayon from bamboo and modal blend drapes beautifully and is as soft as silk without all the fuss. The Mayfield dress traveled for 18 hours in my suitcase on the road trip from ndiana to Florida and didn’t wrinkle, at all. I just pulled it out of my suitcase, hung it up, paired with a pair of cute sandals, the Redford jacket in white and the Presley scarf in sea blue and out the door I went; business cards in hand, dressed to impress.
[/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”]Taken March 28th, REALLY, REALLY early in the morning after a late night and 18 hours traveling in the car with my children:)
If you would like to try Aventura clothing for yourself, I have some discount codes to share with you. The codes are good for a one-time use up to $250 for 60% off retail pricing. That’s an awesome deal. Believe me I know because I am about to use one for myself to order the Waverly maxi dress which normally retails for $87 and with the discount code, I can get it for $34.80. Oh yes, it will be mine. I will give out 10 discount codes to the first 10 requests I receive.
If you had the 60% discount, what would you spend it on from Aventura Clothing?
Disclosure: I am a 2014 Aventura Clothing Ambassador and was provided product for review but all opinions and thoughts are my own.
I’ve had the pleasure of being an ambassador for Aventura clothing for the past year. Until then, I honestly didn’t know much about the line. In the past year, I’ve had the chance to try several pieces and I won’t lie, I’ve really been impressed.
I’m 42 years old, so I figured out a long time ago the difference between cheaply made clothing and well-made, high-quality pieces. In fact, I can’t even convince myself to buy lesser quality clothing for myself because it’s simply not worth it in the long run. What’s the point of paying $25 for jeans if you only wear them once? I’d rather pay $100 or $200 and wear them until they fall apart, I also found great prices for the garment labels wholesale, all custom made and for a great quality.
Aventura was a pleasant surprise in the fact that they are well-priced but extremely well-made using high quality materials that not only look good and feel good, they are made to fit adult women’s bodies; tall, short, thin or plus sized. Got curves? No problem.
The pieces are comfortable and you feel good when you wear them. I don’t spend the entire time pulling and tugging to get stuff to fit. It’s just cut in a way that falls nicely on the adult woman’s body. Of course, that hasn’t kept my young daughters from snagging certain pieces, ahem, scarves and hats.
What can I say the girl has good taste. Though I do wish she’d let me wear it at least some of the time, but how can I deny her when she looks so dang cute in the Lachlan hat and scarf?
Here are a few of my favorite pieces that I ordered. With the basic colors and patterns, it is so easy to mix and match to create endless possibilities with just a few great pieces.
This outfit is so cozy and perfect for shopping or lounging by the fire. I am a big fan of Aventura sweaters but the Berlin wool sweater may be my all time favorite. It was perfect for apple picking and cool fall days and has transitioned nicely as a layering piece this winter. I can’t express how awesome the bienne tank tops are. They come is several colors and are long enough for any height and you don’t have to worry about them stretching out or riding up on muffin tops. Definitely a basic everyone needs in their closet. The Morgan cords are like nothing you have ever felt before, soft, stretchy and body hugging without restrictive. I LOVE THEM.
Or if you are need something feminine, yet warm and cozy to wear to girls night out or dinner with your favorite guy. I love this outfit. The Maxine top is light and flowy with ruching on the neckline that makes it look gorgeous on almost every body type and can be worn year round. I like to layer it over a bienne tank in beaujolais during the cooler months. On top of that, I like the Zuri Jacket because the 100% boiled wool will never fail to keep you warm during these cooler months and the gradient color gives it a air of sophistication.The Blake skinny jean goes with just about anything you want to wear it with. Made from organic cotton and Lycra, it’s an eco-friendly option with a touch of stretch that fits your body like a glove and they look great with boots.
I spend a lot of time in yoga pants so when I get dressed to go out into public for school parties, to the doctor’s office, shopping, the movies or just lunch with a friend, I have an expectation of comfort but I don’t want to look like I just rolled out of bed so Aventura helps me have both; style and comfort. I think this is just the perfect outfit for hanging out and running errands. The Ciera vest is quilter and tailored but the back is stretchy knit, so you may not want to go up a size. I did to accommodate my bust-line and it was a little large on me. The Natalie Reversible skirt is reversible with a fun burnout print on the top layer and a solid jersey on the inner layer and it’s fully lined so if you are over 30, no need to worry about cellulite making an appearance through your clothes. We’ve got you covered. This skirt is super comfy and lightweight. You can wear it definitely wear it round.
You can still get your Aventura in time for Christmas!
Oreder 12/19 before 9 AM PST for 2 & 3 Day Shipping • 12/22 before 9 AM PST for Next Day Shipping.
Just because I am in the holiday spirit, I will give a 60% off promo code for your order up to $250 to the first 15 people that leave a comment letting me know your favorite Aventura piece.
Sportif also has a men’s line, Ecoths brand, which my husband loves.. Same quality as Aventura, made to fit real men but fashionable and stylish. He has the Maddox sweater made of 100% organic cotton. It’s soft and cut to accommodate his broad shoulders, waist and long torso which is something we usually have a hard time finding to fit. He also has the Grady Cords which he adores and he is not a corduroy type of guy but he says that these are so comfortable that he feels like he’s wearing his favorite jeans, plus there’s no awkward swishing sound like with some corduroy pants.
Personally, there is nothing sexier than a man cooking for me but he’s wearing that Maddox sweater pretty well.
I wear my Aventura everywhere. The jacket I wore to the city tree lighting above my Berlin sweater is the Briarwood jacket and I won’t lie, I wish I had it in every single color. Even the Grinch approves:)
As you can see, my family is an Aventura family. We love it and that’s the truth. Happiest of Holidays to your family from mine.
Disclosure: I am a proud Aventura ambassador and as such product was provided to me for review purposes, all opinions are my own.
