The TRUTH About Motherhood

Search results for: “love letter/page/38/atm.tk/powerrangers”

I Spent 50 Years Shrinking To Fit a World That Was Never Made for Me—I’m Done
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
A life story of lies, deception and trauma.
Reborn, reparented and healing in process.
I am more… I am as much as I want, need or choose to be. I am everything all at once and almost nothing at the exact same time.
I am stubborn and angry. My temper boils fast and runs hot.
But I love big. Completely. With my everything.
“People say I’m too much but I’ve never felt like I’m enough.”
There’s an insatiable hole inside of me—always wanting just a little bit more. Never feeling like I quite belonged anywhere.
Always trying harder but never fitting in. Nothing is ever good enough—and I think it goes back to never feeling seen or heard at home. I had to make a spectacle and roar just to get a seat at the table.
The Emptiness No One talks About When You’re Healing from Childhood Trauma
I still feel ‘empty’ sometimes. Like something’s missing and I can’t name it.
I try to fill the emptiness with noise and things and too much of everything—but it’s never the thing I need. It’s never enough because it’s never full acceptance. Just the pretty edges and shiny bits.
No one’s ever listening because they’re too busy talking over me. Explaining to me what I’m supposed to think, feel, and be. They set the standard based on stereotypes they’ve made up, and I’ve spent my entire life—masking, shrinking, and contorting—trying to fit into a world that was never designed for people like me.
A world built for people who never really knew me. Never cared to.
And somehow, somewhere along the way, I handed them the power to make me feel like not enough.
“I gave them the power. Well, I’m taking it all back.”
What Reparenting Yourself Actually Looks Like From the Inside
The work of reparenting yourself isn’t pretty or easy. There’s no pastel journal for this. No aesthetic morning routine.
It looks like trauma bombs going off when you least expect it or being triggered because your daughter paces and it sends you into a panic. Because when you were just a little girl, your dad would tower over you when he came home drunk and angry at the world.
Reparenting yourself looks like sitting inside your own discomfort long enough to ask—whose voice is that? And then realizing, it was never yours to begin with.
It looks like being as loud or quiet as you want to be. Not performing for a single person in the room.
It looks like spectacling in all of your own spectacular glory with zero apology or shame.
The journey of reparenting yourself is the decision—and it is a decision—that you are the only one who gets to decide if you are enough.
Only you can love yourself back to you.
I forgot that.
For so long, I was so busy taking care of everyone else’s needs that I nearly completely disappeared from my own life. I’ve let myself shrink to fit. I quieted myself for other people’s comfort. I went invisible to stay safe.
No more.
Stop Shrinking Yourself: You Were Never Too Much
I am not too much.
I never was.
I am just enough because there is only one me—and however I choose to show up is exactly right.
No, I don’t fit your expectations or mold.
Fuck your mold! I broke that bitch.
You are the one and only you who will ever exist on this earth. You are the expert in you. You are the main character in your own story and, don’t you ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Write it down. Put it on your mirror. Tattoo it on the insides of your eyelids if you have to.
Reclaiming Your Power When the World Has Tried to Take It
Be who you want to be. Not who others expect you to be.
Their expectations are cinder blocks around our necks and we’re drowning fast under the weight.
Let it go. Let them think whatever they want.
This is what reparenting yourself comes down to, at the very end of everything: the radical, terrifying, liberating act of deciding that their version of you is not the final word.
You are enough.
You are more than enough.
You always have been.
“You never needed their permission to take up space. You only ever needed yours.”
You Found This Page for a Reason
If you are somewhere in the middle of your own reparenting yourself journey—the messy, nonlinear , “why is this taking so long” part—you are in exactly the right place.
The TRUTH about Motherhood is where we talk about the things nobody else will say out loud. Subscribe now and never miss a post.

2026/03/30
What Really Happened to Corporal Brandon Javier Alvarez?

Estimated reading time: 7 minutes
The blurb read, “A U.S. Marine Corps carry team transfers the remains of Marine Cpl. Brandon Javier Alvarez of Newbury Park, California, June 10, 2021 at Dover Air Force Base, Delaware. Alvarez was assigned to FAST Co., Central Marine Corps Security Force Regiment, Bahrain.” that was all that was written. But he was so much more than just that…just remains. He was everything to the people who knew and loved him.
Who was Brandon Javier Alvarez?
Brandon Javier Alvarez was born on January 31, 1999, in Thousand Oaks, California. He is the beloved son of my Tia Suzy. He is one of three sons in a family of six children, a devoted boyfriend and a doting uncle. He loved and in return was loved by so many.
Nobody deserves to die far away from home, alone under dubious circumstances. My cousin, Corporal Brandon Javier Alvarez, was a good man. He was a bright young man, who loved his country, loved his family and friends and was excited about the future that he was building for himself and his loved ones. Brandon’s sudden and unexplained death has implications that go way beyond just how it affects our family, this could happen to any son or daughter serving in the military.
Brandon was only 22-years-old on June 6, 2021 when he was found dead in a non-combat-related incident (his nose appeared broken and there were marks on his neck) while serving in the U.S. marines in Manama Bahrain. He was a brother, a son, a boyfriend, a friend, a nephew, a cousin, an uncle and a proud United States Marine. He was not disposable. He was loved. He is missed. The hole left behind in the heart of those who knew and loved him can never be filled. The l oss of a child is insurmountable and unfathomable and his life deserves better than to just be discarded.
His family deserves to know what really happened. They don’t deserve to be ignored and pushed aside when they want to know what happened. At the very least, they deserve the truth. Instead, they are be parceled out very little information. But how can they grieve and mourn their loss when it is so abrupt and unexplained?
What happened to Brandon?
My cousin, Corporal Brandon Javier Alvarez, was a 22-year-old, healthy and happy United States Marine serving in Manama Bahrain. He was found dead in his room on June 6, 2021. It is being referred to as a “non-combat incident”. His family is devastated. They sent him to Bahrain 2 weeks previous, with his entire future ahead of him. Only to have him returned to them in a casket draped with the American flag, no explanation and no answers.
His body was returned to American soil on June 10, 2021. Family members flew across the country from California to Delaware just to meet the body with plans to identify him. They were refused and restricted to stay 40 yards away from the casket. They were refused the right to identify his body.

This video is Brandon returning home to California on June 17, 2021. This is the first time his family is allowed to receive him, 11 days after two Marines came to my aunt’s house in the early morning hours to inform her that her son had been found dead during the night, while she slept. At minute 9:51 you can see the reality of a mother’s pain.
No family should have to go through this. No mother should ever have to bury her son and endure this kind of pain and loss. As parents and family members of men and women in the military, we understand that when our sons, daughters and beloved family members volunteer to join the military and dedicate their lives to serving and protecting the lives and freedoms of the American People, there are implied risks. But no family, expects their child to return in a casket from a non-combat incident. No family expects to be kept in the dark.
Everybody who knew Brandon loved him. He was kind, warm, funny with a verve for life. His joy was infectious. He loved to to laugh and brighten the atmosphere. He was a loyal son, a loving boyfriend and a beloved brother and friend. Brandon was the kind of man who inspired others to be and do better. He loved his country and had big dreams and aspirations. He just wanted to do better and give a better life to the people he loved. That was his American dream.
He’s gone and the family left behind to mourn him is being kept in the dark as to the circumstances of what actually happened. This is not okay, not in any way. We need answers. Nothing will bring Brandon back but at the very least, we need the truth. His mother needs justice for her son. We cannot forget.
Say his name… Corporal Brandon Javier Alvarez
The military can’t just make this go away. We need explanations and proof. It took almost 2 weeks for Brandon’s family to be allowed access to his body. Maybe this would pacify some families. Maybe blind faith in the system would be enough for some but not this family. But Brandon was in constant contact with is family. People checked in on him daily, even in Bahrain. Our family will not quit. Brandon deserves more. Those who loved him are now tasked with being the protectors of his legacy and the seekers of justice in his name.
The bottom line is that my cousin is dead. Something uncertain happened the night of June 6^th, 2021 in his room and someone has answers. We need those answers. A healthy, happy 22-year-old marine went overseas to protect the people of this country and in return he was found dead in his room. Don’t let his death get swept under the rug. Help us find #justice4cplBrandonJavierAlvarez and for the next son or daughter serving who could be in danger of never coming home to their mothers and fathers. Share his story and use the hashtag.
#Justice4CPLBrandonJavierAlvarez
Rest easy, primo and know that everyone who knew and loved you won’t stop until we know what really happened to you and get the justice you deserve. You mattered Brandon Javier Alvarez and your life was not disposable. We will find the answers, someone will be held accountable and you will get justice.
If you would like to help the family get to the bottom of this and help get justice for Brandon Javier Alvarez there is a Go Fund Me page set up in his memory.

2021/06/19
Orkut an Example of Why Small Dreams Always End in Failure
Orkut is a now-defunct social networking site, that started out as a place to find and reconnect with old schoolmates. Think of it as Google’s version of Linkedin and Classmates.com having a baby social networking site. Orkut was named after its creator, Orkut Büyükkökten, launched in 2004 and shut down in 2014 and proved to be extremely popular in Brazil, so much so, that 90% of its page view was from users in Brazil. With all the makings of success, Orkut is a lesson in why small dreams end in failure. Just like in life, in all things, we need to dream bigger and evolve to meet the changing world.
READ ALSO: How Warby Parker CoVid Proofed their Business
But what is Orkut? Just like all the other social networking sites you are used to now, Orkut’s original purpose for existing was so that users could find like-minded people who shared similar interests and communities via keyword search, descriptions and other users. Orkut came to fruition at the same time as industry giants Facebook and LinkedIn and before Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest were ever even thought of.
Orkut was ahead of its time.
It grew quickly, within the first four months, Orkut had over 50,000 communities. The whole premise and strategy for the success of Orkut were built on users wanting to connect and reconnect with friends, classmates, and acquaintances from school, work and neighborhood groups. On this fact alone, Orkut garnered 20 million users by 2012. In the time it existed, we learned a lot about using social networking sites for marketing.
The community structure of Orkut (like more modern-day social networking sites) spoke to the changing role of the digital consumer because it gave consumers a place to interact and engage in communities with like-minded individuals, often of the same demographic, eager to connect and interact. Presenting the right products and services to these people would be beneficial and less commercially than traditional marketing structures.
READ ALSO: Why WeChat is a Super App
Why would consumers be more interested in participating with these messages rather than a diffusion strategy because it feels more organic for the consumer? When social networking ads target consumers by their preferences by what they like, those promotions feel more like word of mouth recommendations from a friend versus an advertisement pushed on a consumer. It’s less intrusive and more welcomed.
As a networking site, Orkut was very popular with the more tech-savvy students and workers in those industries; something for the CES and Silicon Valley crowd. It was great for connecting and engaging with friends, as well as, leaders in the industry and mentors. Many people were eager to be a part of the Orkut community as much because of its prestigious, invite-only membership as its affiliation to Google.
Belonging to Orkut held a lot clout as it inferred that members were highly connected in the technology field.
The site itself was clean, simple and sophisticated for a networking site at the time. It was also easy to use, navigate and join communities. Friends were able to rate each other on how sexy, cool and trustworthy they found each other. This was a predecessor to today’s modern-day likes system.
Orkut also allowed users to make recommendations about products and services like YELP, allowing members to point fellow members in the right direction based on experiences. This was part of its charm for Brazilians.
Why Orkut was such a hit with the Brazilians:
- Brazilians do a lot of online shopping with one of the strongest markets for online retailers. They’ll soon reach the potential the USA online market has, which is growing day by day thanks to all those sales and discounts on websites like Raise consumers have access to.
- They also happen to love social media.
- Outdoor marketing isn’t allowed in Brazil, so you won’t be bombarded by billboards. However, it has made online marketing lucrative and effective.
- In Brazil, 77% of Brazilian social media users like to shop online, most of them use social networking sites like Orkut to research products and of those, they are more likely to trust recommendations from someone they know online.
- In Brazil, online marketing is not an option, it is the way to be successful. It’s about more than just existing online they need to actively engage via blogging, social gaming and online video that required in marketing campaigns. Online video is King and Okrut could have done a better job with the video.
Orkut proves that as technology evolves so must digital platforms to meet the needs of the user.
In the end, functionality problems killed the social networking site. Orkut had issues with its website, including blockages, limiting the number of friends and difficulties in loading and sharing photos. Once Orkut stopped meeting the needs of the culture and audiences they served, they became irrelevant and lost consumers. Eventually, they were replaced by newer sites. In the end, Orkut had all the makings of a successful networking site, however, it didn’t have a plan to evolve to meet user’s needs or the fortitude to push and grow beyond the original vision. Orkut simply got left behind by refusing to change.
Were you familiar with Orkut? What is currently your favorite social networking site? Why or why not?
2020/11/08
16 Ways How to Send Kids Back to School during a Pandemic
Like most parents, I’m overwhelmed trying to decide whether or not to send my girls back to a private school this fall and I know that I am not alone. August 13^th is coming at us like a freight train. I’m not normally a nervous person but the thought of sending my girls back to school has me terrified. The question every parent wants the answer to is how to send kids back to school during a pandemic? Is it even possible to do it safely? Let’s ask the CDC
I’m an optimist but I also have common sense and I do not take chances when it comes to the life and death of my girls. On March 9, my best friend (who happens to be an ED doctor) called and warned me that quarantine was coming and Coronavirus was much more serious than any of us anticipated. By that Thursday, I had decided to take my girls out of school. New normal, Coronavirus, Covid-19, back to school in pandemic, how to send kids back to school during a pandemic, face masks
READ ALSO: What Every Mom Should Know About Coronavirus
It was an easy decision. My daughters’ health was in jeopardy by an unknown pandemic. My gut told me what to do and I did it. We’re still quarantining because there is still so much about the pandemic that we don’t fully understand. I’ve lost friends and family members, more each day are contracting this virus. With each announcement, I’m more acutely aware of how easily any one of us can fall victim to it, and none of us know how our immune system will react to it. If you’ve given yourself false security by choosing to believe that it’s only other people’s families and friends who die from CoVid-19, you’re wrong. It doesn’t discriminate. Anyone of us can get it.
I felt safe when we were all staying in the house. I know that’s not sustainable for the long-term.
Was it frustrating for the world to come to a screeching halt? Yes, I’m not naturally a person who can stay still.
Is distance learning inconvenient and stressful? Yes.
Do I wish everyone’s lives could go back to normal and we could safely go back to life as we knew it before CoVid? More than anything. We’ve lost months of plans, travels, celebrations and time with people we love that we won’t ever be able to recover.
Do I want my girls to enjoy their 8^th grade and sophomore year of school, filled with firsts and lasts and all the childhood goodness in between? 1000x yes but I don’t think it’s possible this year. We’re no safer than we were in March. In truth, it’s even more dangerous now because, people refuse to wear masks and social distance, and those are the only weapons we have to currently protect us.
READ ALSO: Doctor Gave Up Her Kids to Take Care of Coronavirus Patients
I’d like to believe that if everyone was taking responsibility for their own well-being, observing social distancing and wearing medical face masks, we could all find our way through this together. It would be easier to trust that people were trying to do the right thing. We could all take peace knowing that we were all working together to protect each other, out of human courtesy and respect for life, regardless of a little personal inconvenience.
The government is urging our schools to open, even threatening to withhold funds. How can they ask parents to send the children we created, birthed and love more than anything else in this world back into schools in the middle of a pandemic? I fully understand that our economy is in danger of collapse because of shutdowns but at what cost are we willing to sacrifice for economic comfort? We can live without a lot of comforts but my children are not an option. No one wants to sacrifice their family for economic recovery. Nobody should have to. Human life is irreplaceable, no matter your politics. I wouldn’t sacrifice my enemy’s life for my own economic satisfaction.
People are scared of losing their homes, their jobs, and their very way of life because of coronavirus. Requiring that our children go back to the classroom is irresponsible and dangerous. Betsy DeVos and Donald Trump are effectively saying that our children’s lives, the teachers’ lives, and our (the parents’) lives are less important than the DOW Jones. It’s easy to surmise that when an administration lies to a nation and tells us the opposite of common sense and truth, puts our lives in jeopardy, there’s another agenda right beneath the surface and it’s not altruistic and it has nothing to do with our freedoms. It’s about what politics has always been about money and power.
READ ALSO: I Miss you Most at 6-Feet Apart
You’re probably wondering how to send kids back to school in a pandemic. What our high school is doing has addressed a lot of my concerns. It’s a very comprehensive and well-thought-out plan but even still, I’m not sure that it’s enough to convince me to feel safe enough to send my daughters to school. At the end of the day, my kid is still immune-compromised and I’m diabetic. Whether I want to believe it or not, going into a public place of 1000 or more students (even with a mask and everything intended to be done right) in one building puts their lives in jeopardy because there is a lot of room for human error. When you’re dealing with children, human error is more likely than not.
Here are a few things our school is doing to send kids back to school during a pandemic, I won’t share it all because it’s a 16 page PDF ( I told you that it was comprehensive) but here are a few things:
1. Masks to be worn in transition (in and out of building, between classes, on way to anywhere).
2. In class, the desk will be socially distanced, masks are not required (this part gives me pause)
3. unless asking a teacher for help.
4. If you are in a class with a teacher who is older or immune-compromised, mask must be worn the entire time. If you cannot do so, due to a medical reason, the student will be transferred to a different classroom.
5. Anyone who tests positive, must stay home for 10 days and must be fever free for 72 hours. Cannot return to school without a physician’s note and negative tests for coronavirus.
6. There is a separate CoVid isolation room with plexiglass between beds and its own ventilation system for anyone exhibiting symptoms. Students must be picked up within 30 minutes if sick and going home.
7. Students who are vulnerable, immune-compromised, have parents who with underlying conditions, have been exposed to CoVid or have tested positive symptomatic or asymptomatic are to participate in virtual learning which will be live-streamed daily by all teachers so kids can “attend” class from home and have live interaction and learning.
8. Desks and chairs need to be sanitized when students enter the room and before they leave. Regular COVID 19 Disinfection should be done all around the school.
9. Hallways will be one way.
10. 10 minutes between classes to allow for one-way traffic and getting books in a safe manner.
11. All returned library books will be isolated for 10 days.
12. The school will be fogged nightly.
13. Lunch will be socially distanced, utilizing the cafeteria and Basketball gym as well as adding a 4^th lunch period. Lunches are to be packed from home or plated and delivered by cafeteria workers. Masks must be worn until sat at chosen, assigned (for the year) seat. No more a la cart offerings. Only touchless pay. In addition, schools can also opt for a food service company in order to ensure safe and healthy food for the students.
14. Lockers will now be Freshman, sophomore, junior and senior versus whole grades in certain hallways. No sharing of lockers unless you are related and quarantined together, in which case, you will be required to share a locker with your sibling.
15. Students will be dismissed to lockers in a staggered phase i.e. Freshman and Juniors after the first period, then sophomores and Seniors after the second period, alternating as such for the remainder of the day.
16. Daily dismissal staggered.
There is so much more. Our plan is very comprehensive. It’s great on paper. I’m just not so sure how it will work in reality. I hope it works and fully recognizes that it’s a little different for our private school than it is for public schools. It’s a privilege that all of our students have laptops and WiFi and that many of our students have at least one parent who stays at home and can readily be available when and if we need to go to virtual learning.
READ ALSO: The New Normal is Not Normal
You’re not alone. None of know how to do this. We’re all in this together. But if you can’t reconcile yourself to which way to choose, if you can, err on the side of caution. We can overcome a pandemic but we can’t bring back the dead. Go with your gut and do what’s best for your family and your child. This is a new territory and there is no absolute right or wrong answer but I think the choice ultimately should be with the parents. No matter what you decide, we’re all in this pandemic together. Stay safe, wash your hands, social distance and PLEASE wear your masks.
Are you or what are your thoughts on how to send kids back to school during a pandemic?
2020/07/20
Is The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up Marie Kondo Method for You?
My house is in disarray. It needs tidying up like I need sleep. Desperately. I don’t know about you but when my house is in chaos, my mind is in chaos. When my mind is in disarray, I feel overwhelmed and it’s hard for me to get my bearings.
When my perspective is skewed, it’s hard to stay focused on the positive and when that happens, it’s impossible to hit goals and chase down dreams because you’re too busy chasing your own tail. The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up with Marie Kondo organization method is helping me to organize my life, my home, my mind and my soul. Who knew the KonMari organization method would work for me.
Enter fate and an unlikely Netflix binge, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. Not going to lie, I bought the book a couple years ago. I started reading The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up with Marie Kondo and it made sense but I’m a visual learner. You can tell me but it’s better if you show me.
Friday night, I turned on Netflix to find my next great binge and there it was, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo.
Not normally my cup of tea but as I’m trying to be more positive and I know my method of tidying up is not working, I knew that organization is not my strong suit but it needs to be.
As soon as I saw the look of being lost on the first couples face, I could relate. It’s like one day you look around and you’re asking yourself, how did I get here? Whose life am I living because it’s so off the mark from what you imagined for yourself.
Before we had kids and when the kids were toddlers, my house was immaculate. Organization was my jam. A place for everything and everything in its place. Tidying up was not a problem. Then, the Big Guy lost his job and we had to do the whole commuter marriage thing and I was alone with a 2 & 4 year old.
READ ALSO: What is Commuter Marriage?
I was overwhelmed, exhausted, and if I’m being completely honest, a little depressed. Everything became too much and something had to give. I had to let go of the idea of a perfect house and focus on taking care of 2 small children by myself. The house went on the market and loads of stuff went into conveniently located storage facilities in Melbourne so the house could be shown. A couple temporary moves with stuff in storage and us in small quarters and somehow we acquired more stuff.
Then there was the miscarriage, our dog dying and the year of living with our in laws while stuff was in storage. My goal was just to survive. Tidying up and organization were not my priorities. It was just one more thing to do in an ever growing pile of things to do. Things that were overwhelming and exhausting at a time when I was already buried up to my neck in obligations and in full survival mode.
We’ve been in this house for 6 years and we’re still not fully unpacked and we’ve accumulated so much stuff just to replace stuff that was in storage or unfindable when we needed it. There’s always a holiday, visitors, traveling or some other obligation so we never get the time, or if I’m being honest, have the desire to sift through and sort through our lives so we keep the downstairs clean with help from house cleaning dublin while the attic and garage are bursting at the seams and clean, folded laundry is stacked in all the bedrooms towering over us while we sleep.
READ ALSO: H ow to Get Your House Company Ready without Killing Yourself
It’s embarrassing, all the “stuff” we have. We don’t need it. But I’ve realized, the way some people eat their feelings, I shop to feel better. Then, I feel worse when I get the bill and I feel complete shit when I see my house full of stuff. I feel guilty. I actually feel embarrassed to carry my Louis Vuitton handbag bought for me as a gift by my husband because I feel like it’s just one more possession; a luxury that I either don’t need or don’t deserve. I haven’t quite figured out which.
I saw Tidying Up with Marie Kondo and learned the KonMari method of organization at the right time.
Just as I’ve recently decided that there is no more try only do. I decided we were doing this. Saturday morning, I asked my family to watch the first episode with me so we were all on the same page. We’ve started with the clothes. We’re still sorting through them. I went through so much clothing and moved so much clothing, shoes and bags around my room that after 15 hours, my entire body was aching; buckling under the physical pressure of organizing closets but my mind felt free and light. That is worth as many hours as it takes.
We each went through our own stuff because I feel like only each of us can decide what’s important and sparks joy for us. At 11 and 13-years-old my girls can do that plus, they’re going to be more respectful of how they treat their belongings and how they appreciate the work it takes to tidy up more if they do it themselves. If we do it for them, they can’t fully appreciate what that entails. We all worked all day doing this.
We started Saturday around noon collected about 15-20 bags of clothing to donate to the women’s shelter. We’re not even done yet. There will be more. I plan to use the KonMari tidying up organization method throughout my entire home over the next month or so. We’re in it as long as it takes. I will keep you all updated on here on Mondays.
How does Marie Kondo’s tidying up method work?
It’s not about throwing out all of your stuff. It’s about keeping what makes you happy and letting the rest go because, after all, it is just stuff.
Does it bring you joy?
Pick it up in your hands and decide if it sparks joy. If it does, keep it. If it doesn’t give it to someone who it will spark joy for.
For me, there are exceptions, there are articles of clothing like undergarments, socks and pajamas that don’t particularly spark joy but are necessary so I kept them but if they caused annoyance or I just had a dislike for, I threw out.
The goal is not to have to rebuy spanx but to not have clutter and not hold on to stuff just to have stuff.
What to do with the stuff?
It’s hard for me to get rid of stuff because I grew up poor. I tend to want to hold on to things and I form emotional attachments to things, especially where my kids are concerned. Marie Kondo has a sentimental category and it makes you take a moment and consider what things really mean to you.
I’m still going through my clothes, shoes, handbags and jewelry in my bedroom but I’m planning on doing the entire house. It may take me a couple months with work and life but purging feels good, folding in threes calms me and the less stuff I have the less overwhelmed I feel. Maybe I’m a minimalist on the inside?
Where do I start?
The life changing magic of Tidying up with Marie Kondo and the KonMari organization method should be done in this order;
Clothing
Hold each piece in your hand and decide if it sparks joy in your heart. If it doesn’t, give it away.
Books
She says to give them a little shake to wake them up and then decide what sparks joy. The rest donate to your local library, school or build your own little free library for your neighbors and friends.
Papers
Bills, receipts and etcetera.
Komono
Kitchen, Bathroom, Garage, Attic and everything miscellaneous.
Sentimental Items
Things that have sentimental value to you like photos, videos, heirlooms and things that bring you sentimental joy. It’s personal and only you can decide. It doesn’t have to be logical or make sense to anyone else. Besides, you can always go through your “Stuff” again later.
I fully realize that for some people tidying up and organization is not life changing. Some of you already have a handle on this aspect of your life but some of us are out of control and the chaos of the clutter is an outward reflection of the inner mess we feel; controlling one helps us to reign in the other. So maybe cleaning up and folding in thirds is not your jam, maybe you don’t have “too much stuff”. Maybe you think its crazy to throw out perfectly good stuff. I have a problem with this too. That’s why we’re donating our stuff. Then I can feel like I am controlling my mess, getting the closet organizers and clearing my mind without guilt about waste.

What are your tips for keeping your house clutter free and making your home feel peaceful?
Are you experiencing the Life changing Magic of Tidying Up with Marie Kondo and trying the KonMari organization method as your guide to your closet organizer?
2019/01/07
Beach Bag Must Haves
As many of you know, I’ve spent the better part of this month on vacation. I know it sounds heavenly, right? Yes, I’ve had about 7 days of awesome but 21 days of melting in the sun by the pool, at Disney World and in Chicago. That’s a lot for a Mommy who blogs and is used to spending her days in the house, under the cloak of central air and room darkening blinds. Mama doesn’t like to sweat, especially not profusely in the Florida death ray sun.
Not to mention that I had to make sure that my girls survived the heat and sun. Have you seen my kids? They are blonde, with fair skin and blue eyes. Thank you German husband and recessive genes for giving me beautiful children who I’m constantly afraid will be burnt to a crisp. I look like their nanny.
Obviously, my main concern during the summer is trying to protect them from being scorched by the sun or withered by its heat. While on vacation, all my girls wanted to do was go swimming, lounge by the pool and ride every single ride we could possibly fit in, all in 100-degree weather. Of course, they want to do the things that will most likely cause their untimely melting.
So every morning, I had to pack a bag. Some may call it a beach bag. I like to think of it more as a survival bag for my girls and myself. It was pretty simple, filled with what I consider the essentials of vacationing bags, especially when you are going to be in the sun and on the run all day long.
Sunscreen SPF 50, Sunscreen for the face, Sunscreen lip balm ( What can I say, I like my kids medium and not well-done.)
Water to drink(But Mommy can not live on water alone…well, I could but how boring would that be?)
Cheez-its(Come on I have kids, at least we’ve graduated from Goldfish and Cheerios)
Bobby pins and rubber bands(Have you seen little girl long hair after a day at the pool? It’s about 7000 times worse than bedhead.)
Sunglasses(Because Mommy is creeping up on 40 and doesn’t want to help those crows feet sneak up.)
I.D. (just in case Mommy needed a cocktail) cash (in case the girls needed an ice cream) and my room key(in case we all needed a nap).
Towels
Extra clothing(Kids+heat+pool=accident waiting to happen.)
iPhone ( Because it goes everywhere I go. If I ever unplug completely there may be some sort of involuntary institution stay involved).
Rain Panchos (Because it rains a freaking lot in Florida).
Lipton Tea and Honey packets to give us a little variety from just water, without the calories of soda. It only has 5 calories because it’s sweetened with real honey. (I loved the rich taste of Iced Black Tea with Lemon because I am old school and my mama is from the south but my husband loved the Mango Pineapple and the girls liked the Blackberry pomegranate. The packets were so convenient, I just opened the packet and poured it into my water bottle, shook it all up and voila, I had tea.)
These were my essentials for our “ by the pool, on vacation” beach bag, what’s in yours?
Tell me how you add flavor to your life or what your beach bag essentials are and the first three people to comment on my blog will win a sample of Lipton Tea & Honey to try for themselves!
For an extra entry to win the Lipton Tea & Honey kit share this sweepstakes with your friends on Twitter and Facebook by clicking the buttons below. Learn more about the amazing Lipton Tea & Honey Flavors on their Facebook page
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Lipton Tea. The opinions and text are all mine. Official sweepstakes rules.
2012/06/22
Throat Punch Thursday ~Crushing Debt Ceiling Edition
Debt Ceiling crushing the American People
The debt ceiling that is crushing the spirit of the American people is the recipient of my Throat Punch this Thursday. I am by no stretch of the imagination a financial analyst and I don’t pretend to understand every aspect of the debt that is slowly strangling our nation. I am, however, strange as it may be, a political scientist and am I embarrassed by the child like antics that are taking place in our government today. Basically, its like a school yard disagreement in which the bullies (R) have decided that they don’t like losing the game so they are holding the ball hostage. The ball is the debt ceiling. They want it their way or no way. The president is left with no way to control the ball; where it is thrown or who it might hit. So, he has to stand there, with an “oh shit, someone help me” look on his face, at the mercy of the bullies. Meanwhile, all the poor unsuspecting children (you and I) playing in the school yard ( obliviously enjoying life) are about to get the air knocked right out of us with the weight and force of that ball. The debt ceiling is going to crush us.
The problem is not only that the house is holding the ball hostage but that the government, as a whole, has been playing fast and loose with our nation’s capital. It’s no wonder that most Americans are mortgaged to the hilt, we are following the example of our government. The problem is that once you get in this cycle of spending money that you don’t have, borrowing from others, compounding interest and taking lines of credit that you will never have the capability to pay back, you can’t recover …unless you have some rich uncle who kicks the bucket and leaves you a fortune. Bad news, the United States has no rich uncle who’s about to kick the bucket. We are a beautiful, grand nation in a financial hole. Who cares if you are one of the wealthiest nations in the world if your debt outweighs your worth by the trillions? It’s simple mathematics. Any which way you try to spin it, our past has caught up to us and it’s about to bite us in the ass.
Debt Ceiling has nation in a strangle hold
This is happening to individuals all over the country on a more personal level. What do you think all the downsizing and foreclosures have been about for the past couple of years? The horrible fact of the matter is that once people see you struggling they see you as weak. Next, people try and take advantage. You are broke so let’s just go ahead and raise your interest, cut off your credit and punish you for wanting more time to pay your bills. No! We won’t work with you until you are so upside down in debt that you are losing your job, your house, your car and we are taking the very food out of your mouth. Oh yeah, while you are down there..let’s kick you again for good measure. Now, be a good little indentured servant and stay down. Oh wait, we need to completely crush your fighting spirit so let’s go ahead and tell you that you are ugly and we never liked you in the first place. This is the position that the debt ceiling , where it’s at, is putting us. It is making us vulnerable. Sure it’s fun to hear Jon Stewart call Boehner the saddest tangerine or to see the deer in headlights look the president got when he was pleading with the American public to contact their congress but none of that is productive.
Believe me, there will be plenty lined up to come and kick us when we are down. We need to cut spending. Raising the limit will only prolong the impending doom. If an individual were completely destitute and the banks just kept continually increasing their credit line and compounding the interest would that really be helpful? Hell NO! It only makes the debt bigger, the interest higher and chances are that individual will NEVER pay off that debt completely and so the cycle continues. I hate to say it but my crazy parents were right all along, if we can’t pay cash we should probably not buy the item because obviously we can’t afford it. Maybe we should have some old timers who survived the depression have a chat with government. They could fix the debt ceiling with their sage old school financial planning. I’m pretty sure my grandpa could have made the debt ceiling his bitch; he would have Chuck Norris style karate chopped a sunroof in the debt ceiling…just for sunlight because God knows he would have had it under control.
If you’ve got a Throat Punch I hope you will follow me, grab the Throat Punch Thursday button ( located under the buttons tab at the top of the page), include it in your post and link up. Leave me a comment, I love reading all of your Throat Punches.
Debt ceiling..Raise the Roof or Lower Spending?
2011/07/27
Throat Punch Thursday~ 10-year-old Girl gives Birth Edition
10-year-old Girl Gives Birth, say what?
What is the world coming to when a 10-year-old girl gives birth? Where have all the adults gone in this scenario? Why was no one taking care of this little 10-year old-girl? She is supposed to be playing with baby dolls, hanging out with friends and awaiting puberty. A 10-year -old girl should not be giving birth to a baby; she is practically a baby herself. There are so many deserving recipients of today’s Throat Punch Thursday but I was particularly taken aback by this story, probably because I have daughters of my own.

The headline, “10-year-old Girl Gives Birth in Colombia” is one that begs to be read and further investigated. According to Primer Impacto, a 10-year old girl who lives in Colombia, reportedly arrived at a hospital in the past week bleeding and in a great pain.This visit to the emergency room was her first prenatal care visit. The baby, which was full-term, required a Caesarean section in the birth, doctors told Primer Impacto. Perhaps this was because she is a child and her pelvic area is still growing not meant to be large enough to pass a baby through her vaginal canal, like a grown woman’s might be. Doctors said that she did barely understood what was happening in the moment she was giving birth. The baby was born a 5 pound 6 ounce baby girl that was 14.5 inches long. The mother ,herself, is only 4 foot 7 inches tall. It scares me even more that the baby was a girl because what does that mean? Perhaps, in 10 more years, we will read about her giving birth or worse, maybe by then it will not be shocking but expected for children to be having sex and giving birth.
The 10-year-old who gave birth is a member of the Wayuu tribe, an indigenous group in the La Guajira Peninsula in northern Colombia and Venezuela, which reports say has kept quiet about the pregnancy and about the identity of the baby’s father.
Colombian authorities told Primer Impacto that they are considering various ways to address the girl’s pregnancy, and any charges against the father.
Authorities said that the tribe follows its own laws, and that law enforcement and elected officials are trying to balance how to handle whomever impregnated the girl with showing respect for the tribe’s sovereignty.
Respect for the tribe’s sovereignty? Where was the respect for this child and her innocence? Where was the respect for her body? Where was the respect for her childhood? Screw the tribe’s sovereignty, apparently they can’t keep their monsters on leashes.
10-year-old Girl gives birth, no one protected her
My throat punch does not go to a 10-year-old girl who gives birth.My Throat Punch goes to the very much deserving 15-year-old animal who had sex with a child and got her pregnant. It goes to the parents who did not keep close enough watch over their baby girl or protect her from the monsters of the world. My throat punch goes to the Wayuu tribe who have protected the identity of the animal who raped this child and impregnated her and who have decided that it was consensual sex. How can a child give consent on something she does not even understand? WTF? It also goes to the Wayuu tribe who probably will not prosecute this man. A hefty throat Punch also goes to our society who tries to rationalize co-ed sleepovers, children having sex at 11 and 12 years old, kids thinking that oral sex is not sex and therefore its fine to do, and giving condoms to elementary school aged children. If I hear one more lazy parent tell me that we need to provide children with condoms so that they don’t get STD’s or worse, get pregnant ( because lazy parents certainly don’t want to be bothered or burdened with grand kids) I just might scream. We need to protect our children, we need to talk to our children, we need to parent our children! **I am not talking to you parents who do it all right and explain sex, birth control and the consequences. I know there is only so much that we can do. We teach them but we can not be with them 24 hours a day. We have to parent and keep an open dialogue. If they don’t listen or heed our parenting, that is something different entirely. I’m talking about the parents who bypass the hard part of long talks and aggravation and go straight for passing out condoms.
Why do we need to accept this as status quo? Why do we just need to let this happen? Giving condoms? You are helping it happen. Being too lazy to parent your children? You are helping this happen. I’m here to tell you that kids having sex at 11 and 12 is not normal. Teach your kids to have some control. Teach your kids some consequences. Parent your kids and teach them some morals. Protect your kids from the pedophiles and perverts that lurk. Teach your children that if someone tried to have sex with them when they are children, there is something wrong with that person…not that child. Let them know they can talk to you. We have to take responsibility for the state of our society. We are not helping our children by teaching them that it’s fine to be sexually active as long as they wear a condom. That is teaching them that they can do anything they want without consequence.
This little girl is just a product of our society. She is a child who was taken advantage of and not protected, when she should have been. The problem is not 10-year-old girls giving birth. The problem is animals allowing 10-year-olds to be objectified sexually and other animals acting upon that objectification.

Hope you will link up your Throat Punch Thursday posts with me. I wanted to extend a personal invite to all of you to link up any posts in which you air a grievance, call out any asshatery,or just dole out a well deserved throat punch to one of societies shortcomings or political douche canoes. If not this week, I do it EVERY single Thursday and would love for any or all of you to join in! All you have to do is grab the Throat Punch Thursday button ( listed under the “about” tab at the top of the page), put it in your blog post and link up!
What do you think about a 10-year-old girl gives birth?
10-year-old Girl gives Birth, not the first or the last

2012/04/12
Protecting Your Privacy Online
Online Privacy, what’s enough?
Privacy Please. Blogging is very personal. When I started blogging, it was 1) to exercise my writing muscles 2) to keep a memory book of my children growing up and this time in our life. I never even took privacy into consideration. I just assumed I was writing, on my computer, and that was where it was staying…like writing in my diary as a teenager, but without the paper.
I took the online name Truthful Mommy because I knew I wanted to be honest and by operating under a pseudonym, I could do that with a bit more ease. I wasn’t really too concerned about what I was going to write as much as I was concerned about who might find me by using my birth name; high school friends, people who hate me, people I know in real life who don’t know me as well as they might if they read my blog. People who were in Junior League with me, or on the school board or some of the Mom’s groups I was involved in at the time. I didn’t really want to hand them my diary.
I wanted the freedom to express myself and the safety of a space where I could be true to the process. I didn’t want to be censored because, honestly, censoring your journals is lying to yourself about your history.Besides, doesn’t old age muddle the truth enough as it is; sundowners is a bitch and I know I won’t remember everything exactly as it happened when I’m 87. I didn’t want my children to one day read a lie. I wanted to be able one day to give them access to my blog and let them know that we have all been there. I wanted that connection. I want them to know that we are united as women and as mothers and I understand everything they are going through. I wasn’t thinking of privacy.
I write honestly, irreverently and occasionally in a very raw manner. I find that, to this day still, I only want people that I don’t know in real life at all or that I know in real life but VERY well to read my blog. All the acquaintances and people I know from school, church, the local moms groups…I don’t want them to ever find me online. Ever. Father would be quite disappointed to know just how bad my potty mouth is. Yet, I started using my real name because I wanted to start working as a freelance writer and it just seemed more professional.
My community grew from a handful of family members and friends in the last couple of years to an audience that is growing by the day upwards of 50,000+ if you include my blog page views, subscribers, GFC, Facebook, Twitter, Google +, Pinterest, Aiming Low, Smart Mom Style and the Stir.
How much of your privacy are you willing to forfeit?
I still write uncensored. I have to. This is my mission. My blog is called The TRUTH about Motherhood not I’m going to blow sunshine and unicorns up your ass about Motherhood. My honesty has gotten me some trolls to be sure. Not everyone will agree with me, nor do I expect or want them to. Variety is the spice of life and I like life spicy. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say that seeing my numbers rise, getting the feedback and having received my fair share of hate mail, it has made me rethink some things.
For example, do you use your children’s photos in your blog? I used to have the pages of my blog filled with my girls’ photos and then I realized that when people don’t like what you say, they will take shots to hurt you wherever that might be. I can’t take that chance. So, there are seldom ever any recent photos of my girls on my blog anymore. It had to become, at least a little bit, about protecting the family on the web.
I used to use names of people that I knew (I know, this is blogging 101 but I had no idea). I don’t do that anymore. I’ve never used my husband’s name, nor talked about the place I work. I don’t talk about where I live. You’ll never catch me on Foursquare because I don’t want to give people a road map to come stab me.
I’m just wondering, what do you do to maintain your privacy online? It feels so personal that sometimes you forget that you are talking to the entire world and you never really know who’s listening. It could be someone who will give you the next greatest opportunity of your life or it could be the next Ted Bundy.
We really never know who is sitting behind the screen talking to us because we are all anonymous online. Next time you tweet, update your status on FB or write a blog post, just remember that your boss could be reading it. Your mortal enemy could be reading it. Your best friend. The mean mom from yoga class. The guy whose heart you broke in 9^th grade. Your priest could be reading it.
Why did you start blogging? How much of yourself are you willing to give away? Where do you draw the line in what you publish? How do you protect your privacy online.
I will talk more about ways to protect your privacy online in a follow up post about blogging.
Privacy, how many of us have any?
Photo Source
2012/03/27
Throat Punch Thursday~ Seattle School Shooting Edition
Seattle school shooting
Seattle School Shooting ~ You read that right. In case you weren’t already terrified enough of letting your kids out of your sight after Anders Behring Breivik or Levi Aron, nothing like a Seattle school shooting to remind you. According to Bremerton police, Wednesday, 2/22/12, a gun was brought to a Armin Jahr Elementary, in a 9 year old’s backpack. (more…)
2012/02/23