The TRUTH About Motherhood

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Taking Care of Me is Taking Care of My Family
Do you find it hard to make time for taking care of yourself? Lately, I’ve resolved to get my health back on track, which means working out, portion control and making healthier choices in the foods I eat. Sounds easy, right? It’s harder than you think, especially for a busy mom of two little girls on the go.
It’s been going pretty well. Like anything in life, it’s hard to break bad habits like mindless eating and not moving. I’ve had to make conscious decisions to get up and work out and to measure out my portions but it’s getting easier. I’ve done this by finding a workout that I love because it’s dancing and using containers and a scale to measure my foods before I portion them.
The one thing I am having trouble with is eating when I am hungry. I get so busy that I either forget to eat until I need to be someplace or I simply don’t have the time to find something nutritious so I grab whatever happens to be in front of me and honestly, it’s not usually anything that I should be putting in my mouth at such a quantity of with such fervor. So, I’ve decided to start keeping fresh fruits (washed, dried and ready to eat), fresh veggies (washed, cut up and in baggies) and high protein bars at my disposal.
The thing that is proving the hardest is satisfying my sweet tooth because even though my mind knows that’s a slippery slope, my cravings still crave it. It’s getting easier and I’m not shoveling all the carbs into my mouth without consideration like I was before but I still have those times of the month when I just need something sweet or people could get hurt. You know what I mean.
I’ve found two ways to satisfy these cravings that is a much healthier choice than reaching for a brownie or cookies. I’ve started making smoothies using fresh or frozen fruits and vanilla almond milk with protein powder. My favorite is 1 banana, ½ cup of mixed frozen berries, ½ cup of vanilla almond milk and about 3 oz. of vanilla protein powder. I throw it all in my individual smoothie blender and satisfy my sweet tooth guilt free.
Now, that’s taking care of yourself!
My other favorite treat is Fiber One’s new Cheesecake bars. My family has always been a fan of the Fiber One bars. The girls love the brownies and I love the lemon bars but I have a new favorite, the new Fiber One Cheesecake bar in Salted Caramel. My little one prefers the Fiber One Cheesecake bar in strawberry. Honestly, it’s hard to go wrong.
The best part is aside from grabbing them on the go for myself, I can give them to my girls with a piece of fresh fruit and a glass of milk for a fast, healthy breakfast. It’s perfect on those days when we are running late for school, as a light afternoon snack between cheer and ballet or gymnastics or even for dessert, when you just need a little something sweet.
It works for me. It’s made changing my eating habits and developing a healthier lifestyle a lot easier because I don’t feel deprived. I don’t feel like I’m being punished. I feel like I’m just learning to making better choices and in the long run, I think that will mean the difference between succeeding at getting healthy and failure. When it comes to my health, failure just isn’t an option anymore.
What’s your favorite healthy snack you eat when taking care of yourself?

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Fiber One through their partnership with POPSUGAR Select. While I was compensated to write a post about Fiber One’s Cheesecake Bars, all opinions about taking care of yourself and Fiber One’s Cheesecake Bars are my own.
2016/03/08
What to Do if Your Child Comes Out to You as LGBTQ+
Children in the world have it tough for a lot of reasons from being abused to being treated as property by their parents instead of like autonomous human beings. I’d say you’d be hardpressed to find many that have it tougher than children who fall under the LGBTQ+ label. Those children will be more likely to have trouble with peers, romantic interests and finding their place to fit in general, but perhaps the most stressful moments come from wondering how their family might handle it. But do any of us really know what we’d do if our child comes out to us as LGBTQ+ ?
As far as we know, our girls are cis-gendered which is hard enough as a teenager. Being a tween and teen is hard enough in general when things are considered “usual”. My girls have had friends who have come out as gay and bisexual but when they were younger, I was their parental sounding board. I’ve been asked multiple times what I would do if my girls were gay or bisexual. Every time, without hesitation, I answered I’d love them. Nothing would change. Who they love has no bearing on how I love my children. The only thing I ask is that their love is reciprocated and they are happy.
I have no real experience with a child who has come out as part of the LGBTQ+ community. I’m only speaking from a place of what I hope I’d do. I know it would be more difficult when actually in the situation because there would be more to consider than just what ifs but the main priority is to make life as easy for my child who is struggling with how to navigate coming out to their parents and the world.
Here are a few pieces of wisdom gleaned from the internet on what to do if your child comes out to you as LGBTQ+
Ensure that they know that you love them
The most important thing to do is to ensure your child that one of the primary fears of queer youth doesn’t come to pass: the loss of parental love. So many children have been disowned by their parents for coming out one way or another, even leading to homelessness. The very first thing you should do, even if you are confused about what their admission means for them and for your family, is to let them know that you love them and support them. If you can’t do that, then none of the other advice here is going to be very applicable. Being able to have empathy and love for your child after they reveal an important truth to you is an essential skill for parents, no ifs, ands, or buts.
Encourage them to share what it means to them
You shouldn’t pry into their personal lives too much, nor should you offer an endless barrage of questions to them. However, you should make it clear to your child that you are interested about their life and available to talk at anytime. This goes outside of their sexuality and gender, as well. Ask about their day, their friends and don’t be afraid to ask what they like to do. The main thing is to let them know that you care and keep the lines of communication open. Bit by bit, day by day, you should encourage them to share their life with you. This can, in turn, lead to them sharing more about their sexuality and identity, too.
Back them up, no questions
It might not happen often or immediately, but your child is very likely to face prejudice from others. Sometimes, it can come from places within the family. You should try to be their soft place to land. One of the most difficult parts for parents to navigate is when more conservative, often older members of the family take a stand against the sexuality of the younger members or act insensitively towards them. Stand up for your children. Parents, not wanting to rock the boat, can freeze up and fail to defend and support their children. However, at that point, the boat is already rocked. You don’t necessarily have to do anything inflammatory, simply let your loved ones know that you support your child and don’t want to hear any bigotry in their direction. You can’t control what other family members do, but you can control how you react and you can refuse to stay where your child is mistreated or made to feel humiliated or marginalized.
Should you try to help them find gay spaces?
Helping your kids feel accepted, supported and loved in the home community is one thing, but what about outside of that? They may have peer groups at school and otherwise, that accept them, but you might, like any parent, want your growing child to be happy in the relationships they find. Of course, this applies mostly to parents of children on the older side, those who are approaching or crossing into adulthood. While you don’t need to help them find the top gay chat line or gay bars near you, letting them know that you support them if they want to explore building a social life in gay spaces and being open to meeting their friends can help a lot. Be there for the choices that they make and if they want help, be there to offer it, but don’t try to take over their life.
What about their rights?
It’s a typical open-minded response to care about a cause but not to fully understand the situation until it affects you directly. That said, if you want to show how much you truly support your child and their ability to have all of the rights that they deserve, including the rights that non-queer people already enjoy, then getting involved can be well worth it. When it comes to things like gay marriage rights, fighting conversion therapy and taking a stand against the gay erasure that’s affecting young queer people across the country, even taking a stand alongside your local LGBTQ+ community can help a lot. Put your actions where your words are.
Consider finding your own support system
Being the relative of someone who is part of the LGBTQ+ sphere might not be quite as much of a challenge to navigate, but it can still be helpful to be in dialogue with people who are going through the same situation. This relationship with your child is always evolving and, as such, having people you can feel comfortable talking to (in a supportive way) can do a lot of good. You can make sure you get a good understanding on what you do right, what can go better, and what you might want to avoid during this journey with your family.
Accept responsibility when you do something wrong
Your response might not always be perfect. You might fail to speak up when you should have done or said something that comes across as insensitive. Your immediate reaction may be to defend yourself, to assure your child and yourself that you have no ill-will. But in doing so, you can easily minimize the harm that’s done to queer children by aggressions, micro and macro, not to mention the hurt done to your own child. Even if it comes late, apologizing when you’re wrong is a vital skill for a parent to learn, and you should be able to clearly see and correct your wrong-doing.
If you have any reason to suspect your child might be about to come out, or they already have and you’re worried you’re not doing enough to support them, or you simply want to make sure that you’re the best parent you can be, reading and learning about what you can do is important.
What would you do if your child comes out to you as LGBTQ+ ? How would you handle it?
2022/04/06
The Truth about Parenting Teenagers from a Teen Mom
Ok folks, this is not a drill. We are in full teen mom mode. We’re over here parenting teenage girls. Well, a champion eye roller tween with cramps and a newly minted 14-year-old so the end is nigh and all of that, I suppose. At least that is what the world would have you believe about parenting teenagers but it’s a lie.
Obviously, no teen parenting experience is the same just like no birth or the first day of kindergarten is the same. I feel like maybe I should knock on some wood before I type this post. You know how fate likes to make fools of us all. But, dare I say, I kind of love parenting my tween and teenage girls possibly even more than when they were toddlers.
I’m in that point of parenting where I have to be the adult. Yep, either I act like an adult or this train derails. Now, I’m not saying that means that I need to go hard and fast on the discipline. Doing that would only make that train jump the tracks. Believe me, I’m talking from experience. No, I’m playing the long game, as I have since they were toddlers, and I’m following my gut. That’s the real trick to winning the parenting teens game. No matter how hard they push you away, if your gut tells you something, listen. Your mama and papa instincts are smarter than you are.
READ ALSO: Tips for Raising Teenage Girls Pt. 1
Sometimes, it’s hard looking at an overgrown child with their own thoughts and beliefs and not giving them what they want. Teens like their space. They value friendships above all else. I know this from being a teen myself. Now, that I am a teen mom, I am trying to keep all of this in mind. I listen, even when I find it mundane or infuriatingly contradictory because we need to hear what our teenage girls and boys are saying to us. They really aren’t much different from their toddler selves in terms of what they need from us. They need love, compassion, guidance and understanding not a punishing dictator, even if we do know better. Like my mother always told me, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
Keep in mind that your teenage son or teen daughter is still that beautiful little human being that they laid on your chest and you brought home from the hospital. That tiny, helpless human being that you loved more than life itself is still right there inside of the angry kid, bickering with her sister and talking back to you. Remember when your teen was a baby and he cried out in frustration because he couldn’t communicate his needs to you and you had to use your mom superpowers and figure it out? It’s the exact same thing. They need you, the world is new and scary again, and they don’t know how to tell you or ask you for what they need.
READ ALSO: Tips for Raising Teenage Girls Pt. 2
The thing is society has played a cruel joke on all of us. They’ve falsely made us all believe that once our kids are a certain age/size that they are capable of doing almost everything. We expect them to behave accordingly. This, in turn, makes our children believe that when they are a certain age/size they are expected to know everything. Secret: They don’t know and how can they? We’re not done raising them. They still need all of our unconditional love, understanding, patience, guidance and compassion; probably now more than ever.
I liken it to when my girls were little. They were always off the charts, size wise, so people always expected them to be further ahead in their developmental skills. I distinctly remember one occasion when Bella was just over one (she was easily the size of a 3 or 4-year-old) and we were in the grocery store and Bella was talking baby talk to me and an older woman came up to us and very condemningly said, “Shouldn’t she be “using her words”?” I nearly swallowed my tongue but managed not to hit the woman and squeak out, “She is using her words. She’s one.” I knew from that moment on that I would spend my parenting tenure being my child’s advocate and to do that, I needed to communicate with my children openly and honestly to really know what they needed from me.
READ ALSO: Tips for Raising Teenage Girls Pt. 3
I’ll be honest, parenting a teenager is not that different from parenting a toddler. The key is paying attention (even when they make it difficult), giving them grace and space when they need it (not always when they want it) and as angry as they can make you, remember growing up is hard on them too. They are afraid and feeling like they’ve lost their place in the world. Everything they knew up to this point is changing, including their own bodies and minds. Give them wings to fly but be there to catch them when they start to crash and burn. Most importantly, keep talking to them, keep listening and look past the angst and anger façade…your baby is still in there.
Tips for Parenting Teenage Girls from a Teen Mom
Unconditional Love
Always, every day, no matter what… love them like you loved that baby they laid on your chest. They are still in there hiding behind the eye rolls, smart mouth and pimples. No matter how big they get, they still need positive affirmations and love. Give hugs and keep telling them you love them. Maybe just not in public as much as when they were in kindergarten. Still, something as small as gold charm bracelets to remind them of how much you love them can go a long way, and it’s often the little things that make for the best memories. Sure, you may not always get along and sometimes share different views, but be sure to remind them often of just how much you love and support them – it’ll mean the world to them on days when it’s especially hard to be a teen.
Communication
Talk to them. Not just when you think they did something stupid but all day every day. More importantly, listen. When they talk, they are trying to tell you something even if they don’t have the words. Read between the lines. Fight for them like you did before they were taller than you. Let them say whatever they need to say to you, try to keep your cool and see through their own insecurities and fear. Be there.
Patience
Count to ten before you scream at them. I know that you are tired of them looking at you like you are the dumbest person on earth. I know it breaks your heart when they look at you like you are a stranger on the street. Don’t allow them to be disrespectful or cruel but remember sometimes they are having a bad day. Maybe someone at school was being cruel or unkind, give them the benefit of the doubt. Try not to tell them you hate them ( even if in that moment maybe you do). Remember hate the sin not the sinner? Be patient, the child you couldn’t get enough of is inside that teenage girl smacking her lips and thinking she knows everything and soon enough, you’ll be needed as her soft place to land.
Understanding
This one is hard because teenagers can be frustrating and infuriating and sometimes you just don’t want to rise above it. Sometimes you want to get down in the dirt with them and make them cry to give them a taste of their own medicine. Don’t do that. That’s what bathrooms are for, go cry in private. Don’t fall apart. You need to be the adult.
When your teen girl tells you something that you don’t want to hear (she’s thinking about having sex or she drank at a party) you need to remember you were her not so long ago. Then ask yourself, what will yield a better outcome 1) screaming at her with full disappointment and having her never tell you anything again or 2) listening, recognizing that she is becoming a young adult and these are young adult issues and calmly offering advice and guidance? I think you know the right answer. It’s hard. No one wants to have these conversations with their “child” but this is how they learn to do the right thing and be kind humans, from our sacrifice of weighing in on these topics when we’d really prefer to just lock them in their rooms and keep them safe until they go to college.
Listening
Use your voice of reason, stop talking and listen to the words coming out of their faces. Will it always be what you want to hear? NO! Do you need to hear it? Hell YES! As parents, just because we don’t hear something doesn’t stop it from happening. It’s like not going to the doctor when you have cancer because you’re afraid of the diagnosis. Knowing the diagnosis is not what’s going to kill you, ignoring the symptoms and not getting treated is. Have the hard conversations and listen to everything they say because they are trying to tell you something you need to hear and maybe it could save their life.
Forgiveness
This is a big one. Wow! Teenagers can be cruel and have a biting tongue. They have a knack for going for the weak spots. It must be a defense mechanism against bullying that kicks in with the hormones at puberty. While most won’t dare use it against their peers, they will easily use it on the people who will always love them, their parents. Keep in mind, the teen years are only 7 years of their entire lifetime, don’t punish them or hold grudges against them for what they say or do as teens. Discipline as needed but also remember to dole out positive enforcement and random acts of kindness towards your teenage children, they need it more than anyone else. Let it go. Forgiveness is for both of you. Forgive yourself too for feeling like you’re failing. We all do in these years.
Guidance
Always be there to gently guide your teenagers in the right direction. Firstly, demonstrate good behavior by example. Just like toddlers, they tend to do what they see not what they are told. Next, you can’t force a strong-willed teen to do anything. You can but nobody wins. But you can gently nudge them in the right direction by limiting the choices available. They still need to feel like they have free will.
Make life more of a would you rather situation instead of a what would you do situation because the world is still too big for all of that responsibility. Also, be available to give feedback when asked. If they are talking to you, they might want you to give them your input. This allows them to make their own informed decisions rather than listening to just their peers. But this only works if you respect and value your child’s thoughts and opinions. We are teaching them to make good choices. You can’t just tell them. They have to learn to use logical thinking and decide for themselves.
Compassion
This is so important. Remember you were where they’re at, not so long ago. You didn’t always know everything. I still don’t. When your child messes up, listen to them and be there. Hold them. Help them get through it. Don’t chide and chastise them. Just love them and let them know that everyone makes mistakes and, unless someone’s dead, we’ll all get through it.
It sounds like a lot of rules but in the end, all you really need to do is follow your gut. Your mom intuition tells you when things aren’t right, even when your mind and heart don’t want to believe it. I’ll be here if you want to commiserate and compare notes. We’ll all survive.
2019/04/03
5 Things Beyonce Can Teach Our Girls
Saturday, I saw Beyonce‘s video for Formation and I fell in love with it. I’ve been a fan of Beyonce since Destiny’s child. Not a rabid fan but I had a genuine appreciation for her as an artist. She has a beautiful voice and she’s all about the girl power, which as the mother of two daughters, she had me from the get.
What I love about Formation is how strong she is. Giving absolutely zero fucks. I’m going to speak my mind because bitches I’ve been silent too long. She came out the box with words a blazing. The lyrics alone were strong and on point but the imagery of the video told the whole story.
She is the kind of role model I want for my little girls. Hell, she’s my new shero with this bold new side.
Here are a few lessons all little girls, especially those little minority girls of ours, can learn from Beyonce and her new video.
1. “My daddy’s Alabama, my mommas Louisiana”
Be proud of who we are no matter where we come from. Who cares if you are from the country like Bey or the ghetto like me. Where we come from makes who we become. If I hadn’t been poor and grew up in the ghetto, I probably wouldn’t be the strong broad I am today. Coming from hard places makes you scrappy and a fighter and that’s nothing to be embarrassed ever.
2. “I just might be a black Bill Gates in the making”
We can be anything we want to be. If we are ready to put in the blood, sweat and tears to get it. It can be ours. We are not limited by anything but our own determination. Don’t let other people’s opinions matter more to you than what you think of yourself. Work hard and do you.
3. “I carry hot sauce in my purse”
Firstly, me too girl, me too! Be yourself and be proud. Give zero fucks about what other people think about you. You have to live with yourself. Make yourself happy. Life is too short to spend your life worrying about what other people think about you. We can’t leave our happiness in someone else’s hands or we’d all be unhappy. We’ve got to be who we are and go after what we want.
4. ” I like my baby hair, with baby hair and afros. I like my Negro nose with Jackson Five nostrils.”
Love your body. Love what God gave you. If you are black, white, Latino or whatever else you might be we might all be the same on the inside (human) but we most certainly look different on the outside. We have different body types and we need to embrace them. I’m never going to have the “model body” of a 10-year-old boy. I have curves. It’s how I’m built. I have no ass to speak and rather large breasts. I can’t change any of it and instead of spending my life hating the body I was given, I need to embrace it and love it for what it is and not hate it for what it isn’t.
This part is everything.
5. Go for it! Slay it. Put your heart, your soul and your back into it. Take no shit. Stand up for what you believe in and don’t be afraid to make your voice heard because we all matter!
I see it, I want it
I stunt, yeah, little hornet
I dream it, I work hard
I grind ’til I own it
I twirl all my haters
Albino alligators
El Camino with the ceiling low
Sippin’ Cuervo with no chaser
Sometimes I go off, I go off
I go hard, I go hard
Get what’s mine, take what’s mine
I’m a star, I’m a star
Cause I slay, slay
I slay, hey, I slay, okay
I slay, okay, all day, okay
I slay, okay, I slay okay
We gon’ slay, slay
Gon’ slay, okay
We slay, okay
I slay, okay
I slay, okay
Okay, okay, I slay, okay
Okay, okay, okay, okay
Every woman…can I please get a HELL, YEAH? This is the anthem for African Americans and women alike. It’s a call to action. A wake-up call. We all matter and that’s worth fighting for and I can’t think of anything better that I’d like to teach my little girls.
What did you think of Beyonce Formation video and its message?

2016/02/08
I got kicked til I Cried
Seems my holiday spirit has not yet caught up with my Mommy Holiday need to be in the spirit. My brain knows that I want to want to enjoy the holidays, but for some reason..my heart’s just not in it.
First, I blamed it on being to busy to enjoy the season with all the rehearsal’s and the productions and just the hectic craziness that is the holidays. Then last Thursday,when I thought I was in the home stretch..wouldn’t you know that something else came up.
Thursday, I picked my 5 year old up from school, a seeming innocuous event.As we are driving home and I start my routine of inquiring about her day, I am informed that her teacher , who previously made her the star of the classroom version of “What not to wear” and I’ve spoken to about her inappropriate behavior, has stricken once again.
Bella begins to recount a conversation that she had with her teacher. It went a little something like this; said teacher was speaking to Bella’s friend who had been on vacation and had gotten sick.The teacher was telling the student that she has missed a lot of school.Bella was standing within earshot, and so the teacher decided to tell Bella ( in front of the other children) “You’ve missed a lot of school too, Bella!” To which my 5 year old said, “I had the Nutcracker last week.” Now let me explain this, Bella missed Monday and Tuesday of last week due to incliment weather and impassable roads but Friday, she had an excused absence for her performance in the Nutcracker. The very same Nutcracker that she had been waiting to be a part of for 3 years, the same one she auditioned for in September, and the very same one that she has been rehearsing for 3 days a week for 4 months (Did I mention she is only 5?) This was a lot of work, followed by a week long of 2.5 hour long dress rehearsals EVERY night ( my girls were kept up for rehearsal, 2 hours past when they should have already been asleep.It was a big sacrifice and acheivement on the part of Bella).This teacher told Bella (in front of other kids..to her face, not in her own little brain..where the thought should have remained) “Well, the Nutcracker is NOT important..kindergarten is!”
My reaction was to become livid because 1) She has no business speaking to her about personal matters in front of other children 2) The Nutcracker was/is important to Bella who worked her little derriere off to be a part of it. What gives this broad the right to discount my child’s achievements? Newsflash; Hey bitch,if I refuse to give my kids an inferiority complex..you sure as hell are not allowed to do so!Main problem being, this is not the first time that she has exhibited this sort of behavior.I have asked her NOT to do this before, to contact me directly.Each time I contacted her, I took a deep breath and I was very diplomatic. I was getting my Master’s in Elementary Education when I was pregnant with Bella and I’ve been working in education now for 10 years, so I do know the ins and outs of the system. I know this woman needs to retire. This time I included the principal on the email.The principal said she would handle it, next morning first thing I received an email that the teacher would only send notes and communication through myself directly. Hopefully this matter is resolved. So, that started the break off with a bad taste in my mouth.
Then there was an incident where a family member took it upon himself to mock my blog and mimmick every food choice that I made while visiting.I am on Nutrisystem and I ate my Nutrisystem while there, but there were times where we were out starving and picked something up at a restaurant. I made my choices with the plan in mind. But all the while, I had this family member, mocking me. Cracking wise on my weight.( who the hell thinks its OK to comment on a woman’s weight?) I bit my tongue,so I wasn’t teaching my girls to be disrespectful towards their elders. And yes, he does know I’m on Nutrisystem.The straw that broke the camels back was when he decided to rant over what I was eating at a public restaurant,loudly enough to call the attention of the other patrons ( I was mortified) and then when we left. My husband was fastening the girls into their car seats. I was waiting to sit next to them ( I was freezing),but his arm was in the way so I couldn’t get all the way in.The family member said, maybe if you hadn’t eaten so much, you’d fit! WTF?? I was flabbergasted. Yeah, and that was the third day of this type of behavior.Until, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had been biting my tongue and then I woke up the next morning and had hit my threshold. I had to leave. I can only be gracious for so long. So, that’s been the start to the holiday break! Seems everybody;s trying to kick this girl til she cries!
But I won’t let them restrict the size of my heart!This heart will grow three times its original size!Damn the finances! Damn the separation!Damn expectation!Damn ignorant people with big boisterous voices! This is MY Blog…if you don’t like it or you don’t want to hear/care about what I have to say..Don’t read it! Whatever you do, don’t try to throw my own words in my face. I know what I have said.I am aware that words have effect on people and if used improperly can cut, like knives. I know that first hand.That’s why I don’t do that but lucky for me others do not subscribe to the rules of couth.
So, I am home and I am off to cuddle my girls and love the holiday light right out of them.We have 2 glorious weeks and the Big Guy will be joining us tonight or tomorrow, either way, we’ll scoot in and make room.I just want to encapsulate the moment of togetherness because it will be fleeting but I promise; we will know it was here.What will you be doing to keep your spirits up and truly enjoy the important things…the family, the people, not just the things.Don’t get caught up in the momentum, get wrapped up in the love.How will you do that this year for your family?
One more piece of happiness, yesterday (when I started this post) was the birthday of one of my favorite people in the world!Nik,love you like a sister and I am so glad that we met and became fast friends. It is so rare to find this kind of friendship as an adult. I truly do hope you were spoiled rotten yesterday and appreciated for all that you do for EVERYONE!Running around the world saving all the sickies one gurney at a time!You are an inspiration.Happy Birthday,love ya!
2010/12/21
The Elf on the Shelf Problem
Our elf on the shelf elves have once again arrived. Well, three out of the five have arrived. Currently, we have Ed, Analee (because someone who shall remain nameless forgot to remove the nametag…. I’m talking to you Grandma) and Rick Astly ( that bastard’s never gonna give you up! Can you say Single white Elf Male?) We are still missing Herbie Hancock and Rick (i) James (bitch!)
So you’re probably thinking that maybe I have some sort of nasty little elf on the shelf fetish or way too much time on my hands, I assure you that it is neither of those. Well, maybe I do have a little extra time on my hands seeing as I was just downsized from one of my 12 jobs. Damn, what ever will I do with all of that free time the last week of every month? But I digress, we have so many elves because when the girls were small we were moving a lot and the elves got packed away in storage lost on their way back from the North Pole! So every year, we had to replace the lost elf. Look, my mommy brain is not what it once was and I forget shit…like where elves went into the witness protection place the year before or sometimes even the night before.

Our elf on the shelf problem started with Analee.
He came in a beautiful gift box with a letter from the man in the red suit because he knew the girls were having a horrible year leaving their friends and everything they knew and moving across the country. Analee came to give love and moral support.
The next year, Analee “lost” his way to our house because we had moved back to Indiana so “Santa” sent another elf, Ed (this is what happens when Daddy names the elves) to entertain the girls while their daddy was living in Iowa for work. They only saw the Big Guy once a week and we assured them that the elf could check in on daddy each night before he went back to the North Pole and reported to Santa. Then one day, Analee found us and just showed up on the Christmas tree like a damn serial killer stalking his prey and then the two became Santa’s henchmen because we don’t tell our girls about the boogie man.
The following year, we had moved in with our in-laws because 2 years apart was too much for all of us. Unfortunately, we had forgotten our two little buddies they couldn’t find us because we had moved yet again. Enter, Herbie Hancock (he likes to rock down to electric avenue) coolest elf ever. He even has a naughty and nice placard to let the girls know where they stand. But by this time, Bella was 6 and Gabi was suspicious of that damn placard, “Mommy, why does he look like a stuffed animal?” (Because we spare our children the damn traditional scary elf on the shelf) “Because Santa doesn’t want children to be afraid” Near miss. This kid is on to us. I just know it.

Then last year, we moved into our house and it was the mass exodus of elves. They descended upon our house like locusts. Analee, Ed, Herbie Hancock, and then Rick Astly ( what a mischievous little guy he is. You never know what you’re going to wake up to.) He looks like the traditional elf on the shelf, I’m trying to throw the 5-year-old off the scent. Then she demanded to know why no one arrived in the official Santa box and you guessed it, Rick(i) James showed up a couple days later in the box from the North Pole with an official letter addressed to the girls.
So the winter of my discontent 2012 was the year of the elves (that were very mischevious). The mischievousness rubbed off on the girls and so we had to tell them about Santa’s “special” cameras that are installed in the fire alarms throughout the house. Elves were popping up in toilets and refrigerators, backpacks and boxes of cereal or not moving at all or being chewed up by crazed puppies.Kids were dancing naked in front of the fire alarms mooning Santa and blaming shit on their sister. I was still stumbling across rogue elves covered in cob webs in April.
This year we have 5 elves, 3 have arrived, 2 will be here any day I am sure of it. Oh and Gabs is back on board, since finding out that a classmate of hers had a pocket elf who has gotten elderly and now in his wheelchair talks openly to the child. No longer hiding his secret. What an imagination and guess what she prayed for that night? Her very own pocket elf, but not “an old one in a wheelchair” a regular one. Now, we have another elf to remember to displace. As of yet, he is still nameless and harmless ( no baby Jesus stealing or conga lining with the 3 kings…yet) I’m think we name him Too Short or maybe Prince Napoleon.
So to all of you who say that elf on the shelf is stupid, I say to you…stick to your guns. Our elves have played a wonderful part in comforting my girls when they were small and our lives were upside down and we all missed the Big Guy but now, the elves are running amuck and I keep forgetting where they are at night and one keeps stealing baby Jesus and eating all the Fat Boys and Mentos in the house.
I know it’s nonsense and has absolutely nothing to do with why we celebrate Christmas but I also know that my girls love their elves and look forward to their magical appearance every year. It is magic and I am not taking that away from them.
What’s your most creative idea for elf on the shelf shenanigans?

2013/12/06
My neck, My back, my neck and my back!
I’m sure more than a couple of you have been wondering where the hell I’ve been over the last couple of weeks. Well, I think I at least owe you an explanation. First, there was the cleaning/packing/moving rampage a couple weeks ago. Trying to prep a house to go on the market is harder than trying to prepare for childbirth. It’s a lot of hard work and frustration, especially when you have littles that want nothing more than to destroy every single thing you clean. I have discovered , in the past month, that my girls are in fact part Tazmanian devils. Lucky for me, right? So, I’ve been perpetually cleaning my house.
Then the week after that, my girls were sick with some weird alien virus that mimicked the flu and to compound the hellish nightmare of two children under the age of 5 being sick simultaneously, they also developed a gnarly case of eye ball oozing pink eye! WHAT THE FUCK!!! So, between trying to keep the house immaculate, I had to add to it wiping eye boogers, cleaning puke up off the floor, keeping 104 degree fevers in check, keeping snot rags in the garbage ( my Bella likes to drop Kleenex where she stands..sort of like her Dad and his socks), keep the girls separated and Lysol down all areas of our home. We were quarantined in a full on Cootie village of our very own. So, obviously between all of that..I was MIA from all social media and my blog.
Last week, the girls were feeling better and I just knew that it was time to jump back into my social media world that I feel so warm and fuzzy in but then my server decided to take a giant dump! Seriously, I heard a lot of you complaining about January. Well, I just want to go on record of saying that February may be the shortest month of the year but, for me, it’s been sucking hardcore! Working over time at trying to see just how awful it can be. It has certainly given January a run for its money. So, last week I spent a better part of Monday through Thursday trying to get the server situation straightened out! Just in time to get a call about a showing on our house. I rushed around the house like a crack addict, cleaning, straightening the garage, moving boxes and finished up just in time to leave for my scheduled trip out of town, to interview prospective schools for my girls.
As I was driving, I felt my back stiffening up but I was just so over extended that I didn’t have the time to give it any attention. As if back pain can be ignored or denied, I kept on with my plans. The weekend went off with minimal aggravation. Then I drove home Monday morning. By Monday evening, I was incapacitated. I could not walk. My back completely went out. I’m sitting here, after two days of a steady consumption of pain pills and muscle relaxers, and I can barely sit upright. Apparently, popping pills like they are tic tacs does not make the back happy. It’s going to take a lot of rest and a more effective back pain management.
My girls were amazing, Bella was adorable pulling the kitchen chair over to the microwave and heating up my heating pad. Gabs kept refilling my water glass. It’s amazing what littles can accomplish when they really want to. Just one more thing that blows my mind about my girls! Thank God my own little sister was able to take the train in and rescue me and help out with my girls. I was beginning to feel a little bad about the girls doing everything.
Anyways, that’s where I’ve been lately. I’ve not forgotten about you or the blog. I’ve simply been inundated with life but I am trying to jump back in! I miss you ladies, loads! Happy Mothering!!
2011/02/23
Dive into Cirque du Soleil’s Shimmering Crystal!
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes
Hold onto your imaginary snowflakes, Chicago! Brace yourselves for a spectacle that’s not just cool, it’s ice-cold amazing! Prepare yourselves for Cirque du Soleil Crystal, the world’s first acrobatic performance on ice, gliding into NOW Arena from March 22nd to 24th, 2024. This ain’t your grandma’s figure skating routine, people. Think death-defying aerial stunts, heart-stopping acrobatics, and a dazzling display of artistic mastery – all on a slippery, shimmering stage of frozen dreams!
Forget Zambonis and triple axels. This show is about redefining boundaries, pushing limits, and leaving you speechless (okay, maybe gasping for air after all that awe-inspiring movement). Imagine soaring trapeze artists defying gravity on a frosty platform, synchronized skaters swirling in mesmerizing formations, and daring hand-to-hand duos defying the laws of physics – all while carving graceful lines on the ice. It’s like a Winter Wonderland meets Olympic Games meets your wildest circus dreams, and believe me, it’s mind-blowingly beautiful.
But wait, there’s more! This isn’t just a showcase of jaw-dropping feats. Crystal weaves a heartwarming story of self-discovery through the eyes of its protagonist, aptly named… Crystal. Join her on a journey of self-acceptance, embracing individuality, and finding your inner sparkle (pun intended!). With breathtaking visuals projected onto the icy canvas and a chillingly beautiful soundtrack, you’ll be swept away in a world of wonder, laughter, and maybe even a few tears (happy ones, of course!).
Here’s the icing on the cake (or should I say, snowflake on the ice?):
- It’s for everyone! Whether you’re a seasoned cirque aficionado or a family looking for a unique outing, Crystal’s magic will mesmerize audiences of all ages.
- It’s a first-of-its-kind experience! Witness history in the making as Cirque du Soleil breaks new ground with this innovative icy extravaganza.
- It’s got all the bells and whistles (and snowflakes)! From jaw-dropping acrobatics to stunning visuals and a touching story, this show has something for everyone.
So, ditch the Netflix queue and lace up your metaphorical skates, Chicago! This is one event you don’t want to miss. Get your tickets now and prepare to be dazzled, inspired, and left saying, “Did I just see someone do a triple Salchow on ice without falling?!” (Spoiler alert: you probably did.)
Tickets are on sale now at cirquedusoleil.com/crystal . Don’t let this icy dream melt away – book your seats and get ready to witness the magic of Cirque du Soleil Crystal unfold before your very eyes. Trust me, this is one Winter Wonderland you won’t forget!
Don’t just imagine the magic, LIVE IT!
Cirque du Soleil Crystal isn’t just a show, it’s an experience that’ll leave you breathless, inspired, and maybe even questioning the laws of physics (seriously, those skaters defy logic!).
Ready to trade your Netflix queue for jaw-dropping acrobatics and a heartwarming story on ice? Then:
- Clickety-clack your way to cirquedusoleil.com/crystal and snag your tickets before they disappear faster than a triple axel!
- Round up your squad (family, friends, whoever gets excited by icy awesomeness) and prepare for a night you’ll never forget. ❄️
- Share the hype on social media with #CrystalChicago and tag @Cirque du Soleil! Let’s get this icy party started!
Remember, Chicago, this Winter Wonderland melts away on March 24th! Don’t miss your chance to witness the magic firsthand. ✨
For more incredible Cirque du Soleil posts:
La Nouba
Dralion
Volta
Corteo
Luzia
2024/02/20
Throat Punch Thursday ~Sesame Street’s Big Fat Gay Wedding
I am all for equal opportunity in every aspect of life, including a gay wedding and marriage. I wish that every single person in the entire world could be free to live their life without judgement or persecution regardless of color, race, religion or sexual preference. But, alas, that is not the world we live in. Sadly, we don’t live in a world of acceptance or understanding instead we even lack tolerance. We live in a world where the moral majority likes to look down its nose at anyone or anything that is not what they deem appropriate.
I think we need to teach our children not to be tolerant but to be accepting and loving of all people. But it shouldn’t be forced or shoved down their throats. It needs to be organic.So, when I read a post on Mommyish.com referencing an article in the New York Daily News titled
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NewYorkDailyNews.Com
Online Push for Bert, Ernie to have a Gay Wedding on Sesame street
I was a bit taken aback. Apparently, there is a petition to have Sesame Street have a gay wedding take place between Ernie and Bert. This is not organic. This is shoving an idea in front of an audience who will not only not understand why suddenly Bert and Ernie are in the same bed but we, the parents, will be left to explain this concept. More than that, I don’t want my children used to push a political agenda. What’s next on Sesame street? Abortion? Teen pregnancy? STDs? I trust PBS to help me teach my kids the alphabet, numbers, shapes and colors. There are few channels that I can say that I trust.Usually because they are selling my kids out to the highest advertising bid.*I’m talking to you Nickelodeon. Sesame Street has been a great learning tool for many parents but I don’t think this particular topic should be broached with this audience. It’s teaching an agenda to an audience held captive by puppets.It’s bullshit!
My Throat Punch this week goes to the 700 strong who have signed the petition to push this agenda. Not because it’s the wrong agenda but because it’s the wrong place and the wrong audience. Most of the general public is not a fan of helicopter parenting because of how it doesn’t allow children to grow and form their own experiences and opinions, so how is this acceptable? It is forcing a position on a controversial subject onto our children. What happened to free will? I thought that was, after all, the ultimate goal. Free to be you and Me. Not free to be who you want me to be! What do you think about the idea of a gay wedding on Sesame Street?
If you know someone who deserves a Throat Punch this week, please link up. The link is up for a week. Just GFC follow The TRUTH about Motherhood, grab the button(located under the “buttons” tab) and put it in your post and then link up your post. Leave a comment here so I can visit your Throat Punch.

Sesame Street’s Big Fat Gay Wedding
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2011/08/11
Just a few goodies
Jumpstart Free 3 month Membership Giveaway
Only 2 more days left to sign up for the Jumpstart Giveaway! There are low entries, so high chances to win! Its a great program for children 3-10! Go here to register to win! Good luck! Contest ends 7/21/10 at 9 pm est!
For all who read my review of The Emperor’s New clothes, I have great news for anyone who is interested in seeing the show themselves. The Chicago Shakespeare Theater is offering my readers $5 off any admission ticket for any show, just use the promo code “MOM” when purchasing online or at the box office.
Fine Print: Subject to Availability. Cannot be used in combination with any other offer or on previously purchased tickets.
Snikkidy Baked Fries Review
Last week, I received a bag of Snikiddy’s All Natural Baked Cheddar Cheese Fries to review.
We received them on the day we returned home from a road trip, the girls were hungry and it was perfect timing. I opened the bag and split it 3 ways between us. I thought they were awesome. They sort of reminded me of Cheetos without the guilt. Snikiddy’s baked fries are all-natural, gluten and wheat free with no preservatives, no corn syrup, no trans-fats, no hydrogenated oils, and have 50% less fat than fried snacks like potato or vegetable chips. The girls agrees because the fries were gone in about 60 seconds flat. I always welcome any new healthy snack ideas that I can pass along to my readers. I know how hard it is to find healthy snacks for our kids that taste good. There is only so many Cheerios, Goldfish and Puffs that our children are willing to eat. Variety is the spice of life. Also, the Baked fries come in 6 different flavors; Southwest Cheddar, Bold Buffalo, Cheddar Cheese, Classic Ketchup, Parmesan Garlic, and Original.
Snikiddy is running a few promotions right now – for the next week, if you buy a Snikiddy sharing pack on Alice.com you will get $1 off, and also if you visit the Sweepstakes tab at Facebook.com/Snikiddy you can enter the weekly drawing to win a Snikiddy gift pack or the grand prize, a new Jamis kids’ bike.
Disclosure: I was provided with a sample of Snikiddy’s Cheddar Cheese Fries by Smile.ly in order to try the product and give my own personal opinions on it. The opinions I have given are mine and may differ from others but were NOT influenced by Smile.ly or Snikiddy..
2010/07/19