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The TRUTH About Motherhood

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  • Is the Starbucks Red Cup Debacle Just a Marketing Ploy?

    Is the Starbucks Red Cup Debacle Just a Marketing Ploy?

    I don’t drink Starbucks coffee that often because honestly, it usually tastes a little burnt and I prefer my Nespresso but the other day, on the way to physical therapy we stopped in for a chai latte and I noticed the cup was red which to me signaled my brain that it was the start of the holiday season.

    A couple days later I saw a video that was being circulated around the Internet, Joshua Feuerstein, an Arizona-based evangelist who describes himself as a “social media personality,” was up in arms because the cup was too minimalist for his liking.He posted on his Facebook page that this year’s spartan red cup illustrated Starbucks’ dismissal of Christmas as a Christian holiday in favor of political correctness. He went on to crack jokes and decided to fight against the “war on Christmas” by giving his name as “Merry Christmas” when ordering. To really stick it to “the man” he wore his Jesus shirt and carried his concealed weapon into Starbucks. (I found that part the most offensive and scary myself).

    In the video, Feuerstein says that Starbucks “wanted to take Christ and Christmas off of their brand new cups. That’s why they’re just plain red.” Feuerstein said that instead of boycotting the coffee chain, he wanted to start a “movement,” so he went into a Starbucks–with his gun, as Arizona has an open-carry law and Starbucks has not outright banned firearms–ordered a hot drink, and told the barista that his name was “Merry Christmas,” which was subsequently scribbled on his red cup.

    “So guess what, Starbucks? I tricked you into putting Merry Christmas on your cup,” Feuerstein said in his video. He urged his Facebook followers to do the same. The video has been watched about 12 million times and nearly 500,000 people have shared it.

    Anyways, the video and verbiage in it made me feel like maybe the entire thing was a marketing stunt on Starbucks’ behalf, honestly. Anyways, I carried on and then I began to see all sorts of social media posts about some people being outraged that “Christmas” had been removed from Starbucks and then the rest of the people were outraged that the Christians were outraged. It quickly escalated to religious persecution by way of making a mountain out of a molehill.

    Me, I am a Christian of what some might say is the worst kind, a Catholic, and this is what I think. If you don’t like Starbucks’ cups or you feel that they are stepping on your right to religious freedom, don’t buy their coffee. Don’t give them your money if you are so offended. But what I don’t say is to get over it because if it bothers you and is important to you, then draw your line in the sand. Mine however is not over coffee cups. That, my friends, is not the deciding factor to my ever-lasting salvation. I get my religion at mass and at home, I don’t need it on my coffee cup for validation.

    On the other hand, if you feel that you can tell the Christians to get over their butt hurt over the cups, I hope you are not one of those ridiculous people who enjoy the benefit of all the Christmas holiday rituals (and time off) but don’t actually believe in or celebrate the birth of Jesus (yes, I already know that is not his actual birthday. I have the History channel.) P.S. A holiday tree is not a real thing people. It’s a Christmas tree. You can’t have your anti-Christian beliefs and celebrate Christmas too. Well, you can but then that makes you kind of an asshole.It’s like pretending to be homeless for the free food.

    Like it or not, Christmas is a religious observance holiday and if you don’t believe in the religion then you shouldn’t be celebrating the holiday. If you want to celebrate the winter solstice or whatever, fine but it’s not Christmas so lets not pretend that we are celebrating the same thing. Celebrating “Christmas” and not being a Christian is the same as having a quincinera and not being a 15-year-old Latina girl or having a Bat Mitzvah and not being Jewish. These are religious celebrations. Christmas (not Winter Solstice) is a religious celebration.

    So while you’re making fun of the Christians being up in arms over their coffee cups, I’ll be over here at drop off sipping my Chai Latte minding my own business. And if anyone wants to wish me a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah or Happy Kwanza I will happily accept it because even though I may not celebrate all of those holidays, I do accept well wishes and good tidings from all. I will smile and I will thank you because I don’t think you are trying to convert me. In my mind, you are saying, “Debi, live long and prosper!”

    Are red cups worth getting upset over to me? No. It’s a cup, people. But if it really offends you, you have every right to not buy your coffee from Starbucks and I can respect that because I am an adult and as long as you’re not making the decisions for me, it’s not my business.

    When did we start living in a world where people feel like they have to run every single thought, word and coffee cup design through a filter before they say it out loud? Stop that. I’d rather I know you, the real you, no matter who you are than only know some diluted, politically correct version of you. By over thinking every single word that comes out of our mouth, we are diminishing any hope of establishing true human connections.

    Be happy, people. Just be yourself and let others be.

    Do you find the Starbucks Red Cups offensive and why?

  • Vote Like Your Child’s Future Depends On It

    This post was produced with support from Clean Air Moms Action. All opinions are, of course, my own.

    The upcoming election has been dominated by divisive candidate issues. Believe me, many of us have lost friends and family because our politics simply cannot reconcile themselves but there’s one thing that we should all be able to agree on: harmful pollution, climate change, and toxic chemicals are putting our families at risk and it doesn’t have to be that way. Whether you’re a liberal or a conservative, every one of us lives on this planet and, I hope, everyone of us wants to take care of it so it’s still around for our children and our children’s children.

    When I think about the future, I immediately think about my daughters. The future is not some obscure thing that will happen to me. Since becoming a mom, everything I do is directly in relation to how it will affect my children and that means I have no choice but to be the change. It’s my job to be their advocate, to make sure that they are healthy and happy and, for me, that means making sure that they have clean air to breathe.

    A few weeks ago, the news reported that safe carbon levels in the earth’s atmosphere were a thing of the past. We officially passed the point of no return, 400 parts per million, where the earth’s climate was concerned. The low point of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere typically occurs around the last week of September but this year, levels failed to drop below 400 ppm.

    Why’s that a big deal? The 400 ppm mark is considered the red line in the sand and crossing it poses dangerous climate ramifications. Right now we’re at 400 ppm, and we’re adding 2 ppm of carbon dioxide to the atmosphere every year. Unless we are able to change things and turn that around and return to below 350 ppm this century, we risk triggering tipping points and irreversible impacts that will send climate change spinning beyond our control. It will be catastrophic.

    To reverse the damage and do some Superman/ Wonder Woman like planet saving, here are three areas we need to focus our attention towards.

    CLEAN AIR. Air pollution from fossil fuels leads to bad air quality in too many communities. Increases in smog can trigger asthma attacks and exacerbate other chronic health problems. Do not let your child’s health be voted away to protect polluters’ profits. Instead, VOTE to protect little lungs from toxic air pollution.

    CLIMATE CHANGE. The same harmful pollution that is making our children sick is causing rising temperatures and extreme weather events. Our changing climate is making smog worse. It increases respiratory health threats, particularly for people with allergies and asthma. Also, intense heat waves exacerbate heart and lung conditions. VOTE for candidates who support proposals to cut methane emissions from the oil and gas industry. And vote to put our country on a clean energy path while protecting American jobs!

    TOXIC CHEMICALS. Dangerous chemicals are found in our daily lives. They often enter our homes and bodies without our realizing it. In fact, these chemicals may not even have been disclosed, identified or studied. Thousands of toxic chemicals found in everyday products are linked to potential reproductive and developmental toxicity, endocrine disruption, birth defects, cancer, asthma, headaches and skin irritants. Children are among the most vulnerable to such chemicals.

    It really hit home for me when my 9-year-old came to me with tears in her eyes and asked me, “Mommy will the air last long enough for me to grow up?” That broke my heart because while the answer is yes ( just), I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I have no idea what the air we breathe will be like for her children and grandchildren. I can’t make her any guarantees. We’ve ignored the warnings for far too long and now, it falls on our shoulders to literally save the planet for our children.

    Clean Air Moms Action, moms, Presidential election 2016, Clean air act

    Unfortunately, harmful pollution, climate change and toxic chemicals are putting our precious children at risk. It doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way. This doesn’t mean there’s no hope. We just need to collectively get involved, care and make changes. It starts with each one of us.

    On election day your vote can elect candidates who care about these issues. If for nothing else, please vote as if your child’s health depends on it. Because it does. Take the pledge and commit yourself to voting for your child’s future.

    This fall Clean Air Moms Action is traveling the country with a documentary film crew capturing the stories of parents who are fighting daily to protect their children’s health effects of exposure to oil & gas productions, high-tide flood waters, and ground water contamination from coal ash waste sites.

    You can see more videos like this on the Clean Air Moms Action YouTube page

    Please join me in working together to move clean energy forward in the US. by joining the fight to protect our children at cleanairmomsaction.org.

    Next Tuesday, your vote will tell leaders that you care about protecting our children from the harmful effects of toxic air pollution. The same harmful pollution that is making our children sick is causing rising temperatures and extreme weather. It’s our job as parents to protect our babies and their futures.

    Join me by voting. Research candidates with a good record on the environment and vote for them. Join the #CleanAirMomsVote selfie project. Print out the Because I Love sign, fill in the blank, and post it to social media with the hashtag #CleanAirMomsVote

    Learn more on the Clean Air Moms Action website, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Follow the hashtag #CleanAirMomsVote

     

  • Truthful Mommy has a Facebook!

    It was requested and now we have one! Just click on the widget on the top right hand of this page and you too can be Truthful Mommy’s friend!Hope today’s as wonderful as you want it to be, and as great as you deserve!Happy Mothering!

  • What Would Anissa do?

    What Would Anissa do?

    Yesterday, as I was laying on a beach watching my daughters frolic in the surf , a gentle, quiet happiness settled on my soul. The kind that can only be found in moments of calm simplicity. Those that are so few and far between in everyday life that we hardly even expect them. Then, I glanced at my Facebook page and my joy hit over the head with a brick and left in its place profound sadness.

    I read the news that, my friend, Anissa Mayhew had died. I don’t have all the facts. I don’t know what exactly stole this woman that I respected and admired from this world. The point is moot because the result is the same; a bright light has gone out.

    You see, Anissa was the first person who ever asked me to write professionally. If you’re not a freelance writer it’s hard to describe so I’ll say it like this, imagine the 1 thing you love to do in this world, then imagine there is someone who not only appreciates it, reads it, comments and tells you that you’re talented but then offers to give you actual money to be able to share your talent with the world! She gave me the opportunity to pursue my passion and chase my dreams, when I had no idea what that looked like or how to get there. She gave to me hope and inspiration like she did for so many others, not with just her words but with what she did.

    What would anissa do, Anissa Mayhew, Aiming Low, online friends, rest in peace

    Anissa and I met online through social media and blogging and one day, she offered me a place (besides my own site) to be as bold and silly with my true voice as I wanted to be. In fact, she encouraged it. She hired me to write for Aiming Low and it felt like being selected to be a part of the online version of SNL. I was not only humbled by her request, I was honored. Through my time at Aiming Low, I really got to know Anissa and see her for the force of nature she truly was. 

    If you are a fellow Aiming Lower, you know what a magical group of people it was and you know it was carefully curated by Anissa; a woman who saw something special in each of us and our voice in this world. She had a knack for telling it like it was and doing it with complete love.

    She loved me for my crazy, even when she knew how deep the crazy ran. That’s the kind of person she was. She was good and she was real and she saw that in others. She also had no qualms about calling an asshole an asshole and you have to respect that. She built me up before I even I believed in me.  

    She gave me permission to own my funny and all of my stories, no matter how big or small. But more than that she made me part of her magical, insanely kooky Aiming Low family. She gave me the gift of my people and I’ll always love her for that.

    What would anissa do, Anissa Mayhew, Aiming Low, online friends, rest in peace

    I’m sad. I’m truly fucking gutted. When I was sobbing on the beach, full on ugly crying. I’m sure someone YouTubed it. I’m also 1000% sure Anissa would have loved to have seen that video. She probably would have shared it? Laughed and sent me a message that said,”Debi, stop being such s little bitch!”

    I loved Anissa for her giant heart, wicked sense of humor and that smile that only she could give that let you know it was all okay. She taught me that life is hard and so what, get over it. Get your shit together and get through it. There was something special about her way of looking at the world and the way she loved her people. And boy, did she love her people. If you are one of the lucky ones to have been loved by her, you know, she had you back….your front and your side, all the way. 

    I hate that the world has gotten in the way and none of us have been as connected as we once were because life and kids and the mundane shit of real everyday life but the love was always still there. I’ll miss Anissa more than words can convey. I hope she’s enjoying all the bacon someplace with really fine men fanning her with palms. I think she’d like that, especially if they smell of bacon.

    What would anissa do, Anissa Mayhew, Aiming Low, online friends, rest in peace

    I don’t know about you guys, but I’m feeling like from now on we get back to 2009 blogging. When you write ask yourself, what would Anissa do? And just write from your heart, comment like it matters, make connections, talk and care about more than just who will pay you the most to promote their product. Remember what we do counts… the human connections are real and far-reaching. Our words have weight and how we interact/ the way we care/love/laugh that’s part of our legacy. That’s how we’ll be remembered.

    Thank you, Anissa, for giving me the balls to continue living my truth even when it wasn’t popular, the friendship to keep going during the excruciatingly hard times and for making all of us misfits feel like snowflakes, even when you had your own shit going on.

    I could talk for days about how amazing Anissa was. I know many of us share similar stories and I hope that you will share your favorite moments about/with Anissa in the comments below. I want to reconnect with all of you because one thing Anissa’s passing has taught me is that life is too short.

    But mostly, I want to send all of my love and prayers to Peter Mayhew and Anissa’s 3 beautiful children who she loved so very much. You’re in our thoughts.

  • The Truth About Life After a Miscarriage

    The Truth About Life After a Miscarriage

    Yesterday, I saw that one of my friends has been posting articles about miscarriage on her Facebook page. Then, I noticed there were more instances where she had shared about this topic. She never said she had one and they were not scholarly or medical articles, they were the kind of articles those of us who have suffered one read. They were the kind of articles we read to make sense of it all. I recognized it because I’ve done the same and written many. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, she’s probably had a miscarriage and I didn’t know. After all, it’s not something you lead with in an introduction or just bring up out of the blue or at all, especially if you’re not a writer. I forget that sometimes.

    I sat there staring at the screen blankly, hoping and praying that I hadn’t made any stupid comments or jokes like people have done to me over the years. Like me, she has 2 daughters in close proximity and like me, she’s probably gotten the, “when are you having another one?” or “when are you guys going for the little boy?” I’ve got to say, these questions always killed me just a little bit inside because I knew that we had been pregnant that third time and we miscarried. It stings but what am I going to do, explain to every single person that asks me that I miscarried? Spend the rest of my life being able to do nothing more than cry.

    In the first place, it’s not everyone’s business. In the second place, it hurts to talk about it. It’s still a touchy subject for me and I’m not sure it ever won’t be. Some things change you forever. Plus, when I have told people, that still doesn’t guarantee that they won’t say something stupid. I’ve learned that when people are at a loss for what to say, they tend to fill the space with words that they should have kept to themselves. When does this stop hurting?

    It’s been 4 years. This November, I should be celebrating a 4th birthday for my youngest but instead, I will remember while everyone else has forgotten. No, I am not allowed that luxury. I can never forget; the feeling of loss, emptiness and sheer loneliness. I’ve never felt so lonely and alone as I did in those first days after my miscarriage. There were people there who tried to help but having my miscarriage felt as though I had been exiled off to a planet of one, everything else was just noise and none of it made sense.

    I don’t cry anymore, not usually. I do think of my lost baby almost daily. If I see a child the age he/she would be or a family with three children or see my youngest with one of her younger cousins. Or when I see our last name and realize that my husband is the end of his line. I still feel like a failure like I did in those first few days.

    That’s one of the worst parts of a miscarriage, feeling like your body failed you and betrayed the life you were supposed to bring forth into the world.

    I’ve talked about this to my husband and I don’t think he understands exactly what I went through when I lost our baby. For him, I lost a child that never was. For me, I lost the child that could have been; that already was. That loss broke me forever. I have not been the same. I used to feel like God himself betrayed me. This betrayal scarred me too much to ever try again. I knew then and I know now that I cannot survive the pain of a new loss. I’ve still not recovered from the last time.

    People who haven’t had the misfortune of losing a child have said the most unthinkable things to me like… “there must have been something wrong with the baby”, “it must not have been meant to be” and, the absolute worst, “in a way, aren’t you relieved?” And the ever popular, “one of these days when you go to heaven, you’ll get to hold your baby.” I know the intention is well but have you ever thought for one moment that the possibility of holding a child in heaven is a poor substitute for getting to hold him/her everyday here on earth? Every time I’ve heard any of these comments, I’ve had to choke back the tears and stifle my rage. Why would you ever say these things to someone, especially a grieving mother? And no, there is no time limit on grief. I can’t just get over it.

    Which brings me back to why I wrote this piece in the first place, I pray I never ask any woman who experienced a loss when she is going to try for that next baby (because I probably have without knowing it). I know how even the mention of a new baby after a loss feels like a kick to the guts and I never want to be the person who kicks another mom when she’s down. The scary truth is that we don’t get over it, ever. Getting pregnant again, for some of us, is unthinkable and, for others, one of the scariest things we will ever face.

    And to all the moms who have lost their babies, I don’t know when it stops hurting or when we get to stop feeling like a raw nerve, maybe never, but I’m here and I’ve been where you are. I see you. I know the hurt that lives in your heart and I am sorry that any of us ever had to know this reality. All we can do is keep living each day and carrying our lost babies hearts in our hearts. They were here. You are their mothers, forever and for always.

    This is my truth about miscarriage.

  • FAWK YOU FRIDAY

    FAWK YOU FRIDAY

    * If you are looking for the “Follow me Button” go up to the top of the page, click on more info tab and there you will find my GFC button. I’d love it if you would follow and spread the word. If you ‘d like a The TRUTH about Motherhood button…here it is!

    BWS tips button

    Well, its been one of those weeks, you know the ones that kinda sucks monkey balls. Yeah, that’s the kind of week. So, I’ve decided to purge myself of that monkey ball after taste by giving the week a hefty Hell Yeah! FAWK YOU FRIDAY!  most likely followed by #Wineparty on twitter to celebrate the week being over! How better to do that than by linking up with my girl Jana’s Fawk You Friday?

    Fawk You to feet of snow. Yes, not inches but f*cking you right up the ass feet of snow. Between the 18 inches we got, the foot we still had and the crazy wind blowing all that shit around…I woke up Wednesday morning to snow, quite literally, up to my asshole!NOT COOL!

    Fawk You to the fact that my husband lives out of town during the week, but of course where he is..the ice got him. So, he had to stay “Home” where he was..not here “home” where we are! I don’t know why but when he has to stay home from work at the place he’s staying…because it’s NOT here with us, it makes me insanely jealous and perturbed so badly that I get on my own damn nerves. ARGH! FAWK YOU!

    Fawk You to the horrible communication at my daughter’s school. 2, count them 2!!!!, fawking dress down days this week…no fawking note! What am I? A freaking mind reader. I don’t run that joint. I need a heads up. Now, my poor kid was miserable because she lives for dress down days.Plus I made her look like her Mama doesn’t care enough to let her wear street clothes or pay enough attention to know when these blasted days are.FAWK ME!

    Fawk the 1 pound I gained this week. I work out, I watch what I eat, I try to drink my water but apparently when Mother Nature strikes and water weight decides to hold on to my ass for dear life…I am no competition.

    Fawk You to Mother nature! Between your fawking blizzard of 2011, my hemorrhage of 2011 & an all consuming craving for all things carbilicious…you are on my shit list lady! Fawk you..with no KY!

    FAWK YOU to being passed over and feeling shitty about it! I’m so sick of feeling less than I what I am due to how I gauge myself against others. It drives me insane. I need to keep my eyes on the goals and less on when others are hitting the finish line. I’m a late bloomer.I always have been, my time will come! Good things to those who wait right? I hope so!

    Happy Friday!

  • How to Start a Blog without Offending Everyone

    How to Start a Blog without Offending Everyone

    How to start a Blog? Hmmm, that is the million dollar question. Okay, maybe it’s not. Who cares. Just be honest with yourself and have fun. I have been writing The TRUTH about Motherhood for going on two years now. In the beginning, it was slow moving. I had NO idea what I was doing writing my blog. There were things I wished I’d known about blogging.

    Back then, there were no how to start a blog books.

    I knew I wanted to write but had no idea how to get my writing out to the masses or what to write. But then I got the hang of writing my mommy blog. Here’s some wisdom that I’ve picked up along the way. Not the least of which is make your follow me, contact me, subscribe to me areas very clear and easy to find. Mine is located on the sidebar and under the “About”  tab ( in case you were wondering and wanted to follow, subscribe, or contact me:).

     How to start a Blog without Blowing up the Joint

    Decide beforehand what YOU want to write about on your blog. What interests you? What’s your expertise? What’s your niche? What can you talk about endlessly and NOT bore your readers to death? Don’t go into this blindly.Try to have some sort of direction in mind.

    Choose your community.Getting a blog following is hard work. Keep writing, keep working and get involved in a community of people who you’d want to read your blog. This was a piece of sage advice given to me by one of my favorite bloggers, Heather Armstrong of Dooce. I will admit at first I scratched my head and had no idea what this meant. Then I realized, build a tribe, surround yourself with a community of readers who are reading you for the reason you intended.Retain your integrity. This is VERY important.

    Me, I want readers to read my mommy blog for my writing. But you also have to interact with your audience, reply to comments, go visit their blogs. Get to know them and let them get to know you. I want to grow a community of sisterhood through motherhood.

    Be honest.Be Fearless. Let your guard down.There is nothing I hate more than someone who ONLY writes about sunshine and rainbows. Yes, some days life is sunshine, rainbows and bubblegum farts but some days, most days, I’m a woman on the ledge and my kids are tantruming and pushing me to jump.

    Other days, they make a grilled cheese sandwich seem magical. It’s not always pretty. If I want inspiration, I’ll go read Enjoying the Small Things. Mostly when I read a blog, I want community. I want to know that I’m not the only one whose kids still sleeps with me, that someone else’s 3-year-old is subsisting on chicken nuggets, that it is perfectly normal to not like your kids every minute of every day. I want to understand your misery and share your joy..not feel like I’m a loser and you’re a liar.Write with your heart on your mommy blog or whatever kind o blog you have. A great example of being fearless and honest Jennifer Kindhouse and JessicaGottlieb.

    Make it well written. I understand that some people feel that their blog is “their” space, like a diary. To an extent, I do agree. But if you want/expect your blog to be read by a lot of people, you have to play by the rules….of grammar. Nobody wants to read run-on sentences, misspelled words or choppy, nonsensical ramblings. Believe me, I edit for a living, it’s no fun. Having tools like the punctuation checker – seo tools centre would be a huge difference-maker in your writing game.

    Pay attention to how you write. It is as important as what you write. Hell, be brave use some of those big words that you learned in college and knew before you had children. You know the ones from way back when you actually conversed with other adults on a regular basis? Great examples of this would be  Laura @ A(n)(Un)common Family and Fadra (Fay-dra) @ All.Things.Fadra

    NO CAPTCHA! People will not comment on your blog if it’s a whole big brain teaser ordeal and optometry test. In fact, they will probably loathe you for it. Believe me, I learned this early. Thank you Mommakiss!

    NO self-starting playlists! There is no reason that my ears should be assaulted by your blaring music on your blog. We probably don’t have the same taste in music. Every blogger is not the same. I don’t want to be subjected to banjo music just to read your blog.

    No matter how wonderful the blog may be, I will move on ( mostly because I am already listening to my own playlist. FYI: Iron & Wine + Crambone blaring=Ear bleed for me!) Don’t do it. And yes, I have been guilty of this myself. You know there are no rules if someone has not already broken them, hence the need for the rule:) I’m sharing my hard-earned wisdom of how to start a blog.

    READ ALSO: Rise of the Real

    How to write a Blog without Alienating Too Many People

    For the LOVE of GOD, NO AUTO REPLIES! Do you know how insulting it is to take the time to read your blog, leave a comment, get excited to see a reply in my inbox only to open it and realize that it’s a generic “thank you for commenting” response? Not cool! This may be the cause for myself and your blog to divorce. I won’t be back. How rude!

    SOCIAL MEDIA! You must have a twitter @DeborahACruz and FB fan page, at the very least, if you plan on growing your blog. You must have the appropriate buttons available for your post to be shared on these venues. It is very annoying when I read a fabulous post that I want to share with the world and I have to copy and paste the url. I know it sounds absurd but trust me, make it all as easy as possible for your readers.I’d also recommend getting an instagram account and a Pinterest account. You get the picture?

    Don’t be afraid to network. To get love, you’ve got to give love. Be yourself and make some comments. Meet some people. Jump into some conversations.Like some fan pages. Make some friends. Get to know some fellow bloggers. Your biggest asset to building your following is your networking skills.You can’t just write to the abyss and expect hoards of people to find you. You are the face of your brand.No one’s buying if it’s not out there on the shelf! Remember that. Write it down! I’ve met most of the wonderful people I know, and learned a lot in the process, from networking on social media sites. It’s very important to know how to utilize sites like Twitter.

    Join some focused communities! Not only is this a great way to network, it’s a great place to find like-minded individuals (fellow bloggers) who will want to read your posts. It’s also a great place to hone your writing skills, get advice and build your audience. There are many great organized communities to join.

    Earn Yourself a Comment Mafia! What’s a comment mafia? It means you better get your ass out there and comment on your friends’ blogs and support those ladies that you want to share a community with if you expect them to do the same.This goes back to building your community. I can not stress the importance of this one. These are the ladies who will help you with everything from a kid with diarrhea to how to design your media kit and they will RT, Sparkle, love on posts and point you in directions of opportunity. Do the same for them. Don’t hoard your success. Share what you learn.

    READ ALSO: How much to Charge for s Sponsored post

    There is room enough for all of us in the bloggy world.Karma baby.Put out into the world what you want back. I am blessed with a great group of women who have helped me tremendously. They laugh at my jokes, cry with me when I am sad, lift me up when I am down. I try to do the same.I’m not perfect, and we are all busy women, but damn it we’re there when we really need one another.Love my girls! You ALL know who you are and listing you would just be name dropping:) Check out my This Blogger’s Life series.

    Be Proud of what you do!If you are ashamed of what you are writing or feel like you have to hide your true feelings on a subject, don’t write about it.People can detect smoke being blown up their asses and most people will feel that it’s disingenuous and they will not return.

    Never try to be someone you aren’t and you must remember you can only tell YOUR story.

    That’s how to start a blog

     

    Now, that’s all the wisdom that I have time to share today but why don’t you let me know any words of wisdom that you might have. What pointers would you give a newbie if you were explaining how to write a blog?

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  • Parenting

  • Throat Punch Thursday~ 10-year-old Girl gives Birth Edition

    Throat Punch Thursday~ 10-year-old Girl gives Birth Edition

    Throat Punch Thursday,10-year-old Girl gives birth, Colombia

    10-year-old Girl Gives Birth, say what?

    What is the world coming to when a 10-year-old girl gives birth? Where have all the adults gone in this scenario? Why was no one taking care of this little 10-year old-girl? She is supposed to be playing with baby dolls, hanging out with friends and awaiting puberty. A 10-year -old girl should not be giving birth to a baby; she is practically a baby herself. There are so many deserving recipients of  today’s Throat Punch Thursday but I was particularly taken aback by this story, probably because I have daughters of my own.
    10-year-old Girl gives birth

    The headline, “10-year-old Girl Gives Birth in Colombia” is one that begs to be read and further investigated. According to Primer Impacto, a 10-year old girl who lives in Colombia, reportedly arrived at a hospital in the past week bleeding and in a great pain.This visit to the emergency room was her first prenatal care visit. The baby, which was full-term, required a Caesarean section in the birth, doctors told Primer Impacto. Perhaps this was because she is a child and her pelvic area is still growing not meant to be large enough to pass a baby through her vaginal canal, like a grown woman’s might be. Doctors said that she did barely understood what was happening in the moment she was giving birth. The baby was born a 5 pound 6 ounce baby girl that was 14.5 inches long. The mother ,herself, is only 4 foot 7 inches tall. It scares me even more that the baby was a girl because what does that mean? Perhaps, in 10 more years, we will read about her  giving birth or worse, maybe by then it will not be shocking but expected for children to be having sex and giving birth.

    The 10-year-old who gave birth is a member of the Wayuu tribe, an indigenous group in the La Guajira Peninsula in northern Colombia and Venezuela, which reports say has kept quiet about the pregnancy and about the identity of the baby’s father.

    Colombian authorities told Primer Impacto that they are considering various ways to address the girl’s pregnancy, and any charges against the father.

    Authorities said that the tribe follows its own laws, and that law enforcement and elected officials are trying to balance how to handle whomever impregnated the girl with showing respect for the tribe’s sovereignty.

    Respect for the tribe’s sovereignty? Where was the respect for this child and her innocence? Where was the respect for her body? Where was the respect for her childhood? Screw the tribe’s sovereignty, apparently they can’t keep their monsters on leashes.

    10-year-old Girl gives birth, no one protected her

    My throat punch does not go to a 10-year-old girl who gives birth.My Throat Punch goes to the very much deserving 15-year-old animal who had sex with a child and got her pregnant. It goes to the parents who did not keep close enough watch over their baby girl or protect her from the monsters of the world. My throat punch goes to the Wayuu tribe who have protected the identity of the animal who raped this child and impregnated her and who have decided that it was consensual sex. How can a child give consent on something she does not even understand? WTF? It also goes to the Wayuu tribe who probably will not prosecute this man. A hefty throat Punch also goes to our society who tries to rationalize co-ed sleepovers, children having sex at 11 and 12 years old,  kids thinking that oral sex is not sex and therefore its fine to do,  and giving condoms to elementary school aged children. If I hear one more lazy parent tell me that we need to provide children with condoms so that they don’t get STD’s or worse, get pregnant ( because lazy parents certainly don’t want to be bothered or burdened with grand kids) I just might scream. We need to protect our children, we need to talk to our children, we need to parent our children! **I am not talking to you parents who do it all right and explain sex, birth control and the consequences. I know there is only so much that we can do. We teach them but we can not be with them 24 hours a day. We have to parent and keep an open dialogue. If they don’t listen or heed our parenting, that is something different entirely. I’m talking about the parents who bypass the hard part of long talks and aggravation and go straight for passing out condoms.

    Why do we need to accept this as status quo? Why do we just need to let this happen? Giving condoms? You are helping it happen. Being too lazy to parent your children? You are helping this happen. I’m here to tell you that kids having sex at 11 and 12 is not normal. Teach your kids to have some control. Teach your kids some consequences. Parent your kids and teach them some morals. Protect your kids from the pedophiles and perverts that lurk. Teach your children that if someone tried to have sex with them when they are children, there is something wrong with that person…not that child. Let them know they can talk to you. We have to take responsibility for the state of our society. We are not helping our children by teaching them that it’s fine to be sexually active as long as they wear a condom. That is teaching them that they can do anything they want without consequence.

    This little girl is just a product of our society. She is a child who was taken advantage of and not protected, when she should have been. The problem is not 10-year-old girls giving birth. The problem is animals allowing 10-year-olds to be objectified sexually and other animals acting upon that objectification.

    Hope you will link up your Throat Punch Thursday posts with me. I wanted to extend a personal invite to all of you to link up any posts in which you air a grievance, call out any asshatery,or just dole out a well deserved throat punch to one of societies shortcomings or political douche canoes. If not this week, I do it EVERY single Thursday and would love for any or all of you to join in! All you have to do is grab the Throat Punch Thursday button ( listed under the “about” tab at the top of the page), put it in your blog post and link up!

    What do you think about a 10-year-old girl gives birth?

    10-year-old Girl gives Birth, not the first or the last

     

  • Dad Refuses to Abandon Son with Down Syndrome, Mom Divorces Him

    Dad Refuses to Abandon Son with Down Syndrome, Mom Divorces Him

    In Armenia, a baby boy was born with Down syndrome. His father, Samuel Forrest heard his newborn son’s cries, as he excitedly waited outside of his wife’s delivery room to meet him. But the new father was not immediately invited into the room. Instead, this happened.

    “This pediatrician walks out of the room with a little bundle — that was Leo,” Forrest said. “She had his face covered up and hospital authorities wouldn’t let me see him or my wife. When the doctor came out, he said ‘there’s a real problem with your son.’

    Forrest was told that Leo was diagnosed with Down syndrome.

    He was shocked, as any parent would be to get such unexpected news, but he held his son and all he felt was the overwhelming, unconditional love that we all feel when we hold our newborn for the first time. Of course there is a time of grieving for what you’ve lost and a time for processing, you have to wrap your mind around this new reality; what you get not matching up with what you’ve expected.

    Leo, Samuel Forrest, Down Syndrome

    Next, he walked into his wife’s hospital room, holding his precious newborn son, beaming with new father pride and then the other foot dropped. His wife presented him with an ultimatum: if he chose to keep the baby, she would divorce him. She had already discussed it with the doctors and decided to abandon the child to an orphanage, a practice that is accepted in Armenia. To me, that feels like throwing children away like garbage.

    Forrest didn’t want to lose his wife. He loves her. But he just could not find it in his heart to abandon Leo. He refused to give his son up. Wasting no time, a week later, Leo’s mother filed for divorce and left them both.

    Now, this dynamic father/son duo are alone in the world and need a lot of help. Forrest is planning to move back to his native New Zealand so that he can get support from his family and friends.

    Forrest was asking for donations to his GoFundMe page, to help cover lost wages so that he can stay home with Leo, at least for the first year. He was hoping to raise $60,000 but when I checked this morning he had raised $272, 787, which will go a long way in insuring that Leo is taken care of.

    I hope that when Leo is older and told the story of how the world did not abandon him and his father in their time of need, it will help alleviate some of the sting of the fact that his own mother abandoned him.

    As for the mother in this story, I feel sorry for her. She is missing out on the honor of loving and raising her child because she can’t see past his disability. People are more than disabilities and every single child deserves a parent’s devoted and unconditional love. I won’t condemn her because I think living with the guilt of abandoning Leo will be enough of a punishment for her lifetime. I feel sorry for her. She is probably one of the most hated women in the world today thanks to this story going viral.

    Someone made the comment that in the United States a woman who found out that her baby had Down syndrome in utero could simply abort the fetus. I guess that is technically true thanks to genetic testing but the question is how many of us would?

    It’s not a decision I could make, that’s why I refused genetic testing for Down syndrome with my first two pregnancies because for me, it wouldn’t have made a difference but that is just how my heart chose and it’s easy to sit on my moral high horse when I never actually had to make that decision.

    I want honest answers, so comment anonymously if you want to, but what do you really think of the practice of being able to walk away from a baby born with Down syndrome or any other disability?

     

     

     

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