The TRUTH About Motherhood

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How to be the Woman You Were Before you Became Mom
Once you have children, “mom” is your name, taking care of little people is your game. You stop being known as the person you used to be, and you start being known as the mom, mommy, mama to your little one. If you’re like me, you’ll probably even refer to yourself as such. I’ve been Bella and Gabi’s mom for so long, I’m pretty sure that some of their friends actually think my name is BellaAnGabi. But, I’m still in here rediscovering myself before motherhood. Like you, trying to figure out how to be the woman you were before you became mom.
READ ALSO: The Beauty of Motherhood
Being a mom is all-consuming and it’s very easy to lose yourself in that one thing you become and even easier to forget who you were before that. Soon, all of the likes and dislikes you used to have seemed to fade away and your life revolves around your children. For example, I loved strawberry ice cream and then my children didn’t so I didn’t buy strawberry ice cream for 13 years until one day, I took that power back. What I like matters too. It’s such a simple thing but I get to matter. With all the concessions of motherhood, the biggest is the total loss of a time in your life and that usually means sacrificing your youth.
I’m just a mom like you, trying to figure out how to be the woman you were before you became mom.
The life you had before becoming a mom and how young you used to feel is fading from all of the responsibility of your new role. You’ll think about all of the things that you used to say and do, and how different the things that you say and do are now. You’re not any less of a person, you’re just not the same person at all. You can’t be. In fact, the moms I know are some of the best people I know.
READ MORE: The TRUTH about Motherhood that No One will Tell You
The resourcefulness and resilience that you build as a mother is unfathomable, and for me, my life feels like it has a higher purpose; one greater than myself. But, that’s not to say that you shouldn’t think of the ways to get your groove back and rediscover who you are as a person. You deserve to exist autonomous from your kids and spouse. I want to show you some of the ways you can do just that and feel more like you again or at least the new hybrid wonder woman that you have become.
Rediscover Your Passions
You will have grown up having some sort of passion in life. For me, I loved writing, dancing and being active. Even if your passion was just going out and having fun every weekend, you were passionate about something. Hey, I was pretty passionate about my weekends before becoming a mom. Sure for most people, their passions stem a bit deeper than being able to have a cocktail on the weekend. Maybe you were into a sport, fashion, music, or art. For some reason, that all seems to fade into the background when you become a mom, or at least for those first few years.
READ MORE: My TRUTH about Motherhood
Your passion becomes your child, and that’s never going to go away. But you’re allowed to be able to have something else to focus on, on the side. It doesn’t make you’re a bad person to want to do things you like just for you. It’s what makes you, you, and nobody can take that away from you. You’re better for your family if you take care of yourself too. Do something just for you. Start small, take a hot bath or read a book before bedtime because you used to enjoy spa days and reading for leisure. Once you start doing something just for you, you’ll start to reconnect with yourself and find joy in things that you forgot you used to enjoy.
Invest Some Time In What Makes You Feel Beautiful
I think all moms fall prey to this affliction at one point or another in their tenure as a mom. Sometime between pregnancy, middle of the night cluster feedings, running to make sure toddlers don’t fall when learning to walk and the teen years, messy buns, yoga pants and a t-shirt with some kind of tiny human’s bodily fluid on it becomes our mom uniform. It’s not because we moms fundamentally dislike fashion and style, it’s because our priorities changed and it just felt like keeping the baby alive was more important than what label we wore or how often we could get to dry bar. I’m here to tell you we need some of that investment in our appearance to help us feel confident.
READ ALSO: Sneaking away for Me Time
There were years where I felt like a ghost walking through my life because I had let myself go so far that I tried to convince myself that I didn’t care but I did. It wore on me. My daughters always looked amazing but I looked like the nanny Cinderella.
Let’s start with fashion, because who can deny that a cute outfit makes a mama feel empowered. You can reinvent yourself. Check out the latest styles and see feels like it fits. Scroll through Instagram and see what the cute mom influencers are wearing or check out Pinterest to discover what the latest trends are.
Try shopping at places that you wouldn’t usually shop at to get inspiration for style. Even if the style is hip athleisure wear, just a small change can change your entire perspective, mood and the way you carry yourself.
You can see more GCDS here, which is a clothing brand from Milan that you might not have ever heard about before, selling styles you’ve probably not tried in years. Also, if I can sneak in a quick face mask after the girls go to bed or some moisturizer, mascara and tinted chapstick in the morning, it makes me feel less out of sorts when I’m out in the general population. And I don’t care what anyone says, a cute messy bun is always in fashion.
Be Spontaneous
I know the thought of spontaneity is practically laughable as a mom but sometimes we need to shake things up to shake our true selves awake. I mean our mom side has been in full-on high-gear for years now. It needs to be reminded that there is a sexy, creative, intelligent, fierce and beautiful woman right beneath the service that needs the day off from mom duty to get her groove back.
As moms, our lives are on a schedule. We exist to cross things off the list. We always have to be prepared and responsible for everyone but being spontaneous can be invigorating. Try an impromptu coffee, Zumba or brunch date with a girlfriend while the kids are at school. Those dishes and laundry can wait a few hours. Don’t even bother with that mom guilt. Mom guilt and worry are two useless emotions. As a mom, it’s easy to forget where our children end and we begin and whenever we try to do anything for ourselves, it feels unnatural but that’s just because we haven’t done it in a while. Repeat after me, you’re not a bad mom for existing outside of your children’s per view. Try to have a girl’s night or date night at least once a month. Just make it happen, even if it’s just for a couple hours. You need to feel empowered and confident as a woman to be a strong example of joy and fulfillment for your children. Do you want them to see you looking miserable as their mother? No, go get your groove back girl.
What do you do for yourself ( just you) that makes you feel good about who you are? What are your tips for how to be the woman you were before you became a mom?
2020/02/07
Gifts for New Moms That Aren’t for the Baby
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
Becoming a mom is a privilege, just ask any mom but it is also exhausting and thankless and, did I mention, exhausting. Half the time you forget your own name because everyone refers to you as mom, mama, mommy or so-and-so’s (insert baby’s name here) mom.
If someone you love has become a mom for the first time, you probably want to give them a special gift to mark the occasion. A lot of gifts for new Moms are actually things for the baby. This can be helpful for Mom, but after a while, she might soon find she’s got more newborn baby stuff than she can use and feels as though her special occasion is more about the baby than herself. It can be lovely to give your new Mom loved one something that is purely for her, and not for her baby.
Jewelry
If the new Mom you know is someone very special to you, like your spouse, partner, sister, or best friend, you could give her a beautiful piece of keepsake jewelry. Jewelry to commemorate something so special will always be sentimental to her. You could buy something like a beautiful necklace, or even have something custom designed just for her to really make a statement. Choose a stone, with help from the James Allen review from Pricescope, and a setting, and you have something she’ll always treasure.
Gift Vouchers
Vouchers can be very good gifts as they give the receiver more choice. Think about what might be most appreciated by a busy, tired new Mom. You could give vouchers for their favorite local takeaway or food delivery service. Give vouchers for some pampering, whether it’s a pedicure or a full spa day. You could even make your own vouchers for things like an evening of babysitting, that she can cash in to have a date night with her spouse or an afternoon off to go shopping.
Subscriptions
A subscription gift could be for something practical and useful, or something more fun for her. If you know she’s struggling to find time to cook, gift a recipe box subscription service that can make cooking quicker and simpler. You could gift a subscription to her favorite magazine so she has something to read when she’s up doing late-night feeds. What about a subscription for a flower delivery so something pretty arrives every month for her?
Coffee
Disrupted nights mean a tired mom. A lot of new Moms drink a lot of coffee, although if she’s breastfeeding, you should double-check with her how much she is able to have. A gift of some posh coffee that’s eco-friendly and gourmet like Steeped Coffee, a pretty mug to drink it out of, or a to-go cup to put her coffee in when she takes the baby out in the stroller will all be well-received. You can find beautiful cups that have clever technology in them to keep your drink warm without needing to use a thermos cup in the house. These are perfect for new Moms who struggle to drink a whole cup of coffee before it gets cold.
At-home beauty and spa treatments
There is not a lot of free time when you have a newborn but that doesn’t mean that you don’t want to feel good and take care of yourself. Facemasks, at-home teeth whitening kits, lotions and serums, a foot spa or a great skincare system like Tarte’s Awake line, vegan and cruelty-free, is a favorite in our house.
Loungewear
As a new mom, clothing can often be decided by what can be put on quickest, is most comfortable, and is the cleanest. Make this easier for her by gifting her some stylish but comfortable loungewear. Comfortable leggings, yoga pants, or cardigans are all good choices.
As a mom, what is the number 1 thing that you’d want as a gift from family and friends?
2022/05/31
Incapacitated and Dominated; Whack Back Pain Leaving you at the Mercy of your Children
Back Pain ~This morning was a morning to end all mornings. I woke up, in our apartment in Virginia, where we are residing temporarily until we relocate from our home in the Midwest. The morning was progressing normally until the coffee machine, percolating my much needed fuel for the day, decided to explode. As I was texting my friend, back at home, having a great chit chat I heard a gurgle, followed by a distinct sputter, followed by a pop and a long hiss. I turned around, just in time to see my, much needed, life line turn into an eruption of Mt Saint Dunkin Donuts coffee…all over the pristine white cabinets in the corporate housing that my husband’s new company is paying for.
Back Pain is incapacitating
In true “Mommy can do everything” mode without breaking a sweat, I turned quickly, discarded my phone ,mid text,ran for the laundry room and grabbed a towel to soak up the mess and avert any real damage. I was on it, little did I know that in my haste, I had pulled my back. All that animated mad dashing was not tolerated so well by my not yet fully awake body. To add insult to the back injury, the aforementioned towel that I used to throw on the floor to soak up the eruption, it was fully loaded with sand from our weekend beach trip.
Amidst all the chaos that is unfolding, my 4 and 2 year old are eating breakfast and watching cartoons, looking over at me only briefly, as if to say ” That nutty Mommy, there she goes again.That crazy kid is always into something!” Not until midway through cleaning up the mess did I realize that I had pulled my back. While I was soaking up the mess, I was putting the shrapnel of the morning away. As I half heartily set my large, toffee flavored coffee creamer into the fridge ,atop something or other, it came tumbling back at me and crashing onto the floor, where it oozed its contents all over my newly cleaned floor. To be honest, it was more like it was hurled at me by some unforeseen, Mommy hating entity living within the confines of my refrigerator.
Back Pain is violating
When I tried to clean that mess up, that is when my back began to spasm uncontrollably and I could not regain the upright position. As I inched across the kitchen floor, walking in a position that very closely resembled the evolution of man, whimpering and wincing in pain, I called to my eldest to come to my aid. “Bella, help Mommy! Please get another towel and soak up the creamer.” Her response,”Shua Momma,” I don’t know where or how she does it but sometimes she speaks with a distinct Brooklyn accent.What a little angel, I thought to myself.
I make for the bed and lie down, and try to gently stretch the charlie horse that is in my lower back out, but it is refusing to cooperate. In tears, I roll myself out of bed, after all I am home alone with my 4 and 2 year old. I slowly make my way back to the scene of the crime, the girls are back to eating breakfast. I choke down 3 ibuprofen and realize , I am in a strange place and do not have access to my heating pad and my husband won’t be home for about 8 hours so I’m definitely going to need to get some physiotherapy done.
Oh, the humanity! At this point, I realize I am so far beyond being up a creek without a paddle that I am more closely to being in the ocean without a life preserver. I know for sure that I needed to opt for osteopata savona to end this agony.
Back Pain is Humiliating
Up until this point, my girls were behaving pretty well. Then they finished breakfast and realized that I was incapacitated and could not effectively enforce any of my rules;like no running in the house, no writing on each other with marker, no eating snacks like Cheetos and cookies before lunch, no wearing your bathing suits around the house as clothing, no laying every DVD in the house out on the floor as you play hopscotch on them, no yelling every single sentence at the top of your lungs, or no washing your entire body down with the foaming hand soap if you can’t reach the faucet to rinse off. Yes, they realized I could do nothing and they did everything they wanted, and all I could do was watch and cry a little.
I never thought coffee could leave me completely incapacitated and totally dominated and at the mercy of my children. Now that I do, I may have to give it up.That’s a pretty heafty price to pay for a little get up and go! I got no coffee but my morning sure got up and went… straight to hell real fast, taken there by my two ,otherwise, little angels. Lesson learned; apparently when Mommy’s incapacitated (back pain running rampant), there is hell to pay.
2009/07/13
A Priest who Doesn’t Condemn Abortion
Today is the 43rd anniversary of the controversial Roe v. Wade abortion ruling. I have always been torn between my pro-life Catholic upbringing and my pro-choice heart. I hoped I’d never find myself in the position to have to decide whether or not to have an abortion but I also learned at a very early age that sometimes women( and girls) do and it’s one of the hardest decisions they ever have to make and it’s one she has to make for herself.
When I was 15-years-old, I had a friend who confided in me that she was pregnant and was going to have an abortion all on her own. I had no idea what to do but listen and hold her when she cried at her predicament. I was young and naïve and had no experience or reference to what she was going through. I felt useless because I couldn’t help her. The decision was one of the most agonizing things I’ve ever seen someone go through. In that moment, I knew I would always fight for a woman’s right to have dominion over her own body and reproductive system. I’ve been prochoice ever since.
So this morning when I went to mass, the one my daughter has been asking me to attend for 3 months because she was leading the choir, imagine my shock when the first words out of the priest’s mouth in the homily was, “Since today is the anniversary of Roe v. Wade…..” followed by the phrase, “Women commit abortion” which is code for sin and then he went into how every life from the tiniest in the womb to the most elderly person on the footsteps of death are loved by God. That was powerful but it rubbed me the wrong way because I knew his undertone. He continued on saying, “ No matter what the mother feels, God loves that child.”
My mind was filled with all the noise and chaos of that moment when you know you have to say something, “OH.SHIT. This is the worst possible mass for me to attend because I instinctively go into defensive mode.I have a crazy need to right all the wrongs, especially when my children are part of the captive audience.
People, it took everything in my body not to raise my hand in front of a packed church of children and elderly, stand up and ask, “ But is God going to feed them, cuddle them, provide shelter and clothing for them? Is God going to make sure that every child born has all that he needs?” I was flabbergasted. Then something crazy happened, this priest, who is almost fanatically pro life, began to speak and his words were filled with compassion, caring and love.
His next few phrases are what blew my mind out of my head, right there in the back pew as my baby girl sang.
He said, “Abortion is man’s fault, not women. Because men should treat women like the crown jewels they are and love, respect, honor and support them and if they did, there would be no need for abortion because there would be no unwanted children.”
Let that sit with you for a minute.
Then he said, what I’ve said forever, “ Women are God’s most precious gift to Men and they are not to serve us, they are here for us to marvel with love, respect and adoration because without women, there is no life. Only women have been blessed with the ability to bring forth life.” Everything I thought I knew up until this point about this man changed.
Then he said, “ By men making women objects of lust instead of objects of love, they are to blame for putting women in these compromising positions.” I know that pregnancy take two and I don’t blame men alone for women being put in the position to choose life or not, but it was nice to finally here a man (a Catholic priest no less) say that men should take responsibility for their actions and keep it in their pants. I never expected to hear those words echoing through my church, ever.
Women have always been treated like second-class citizens throughout history in society and especially in the church. I’ve always felt differently and that’s made my views as a Latina and a woman unpopular with many men I’ve known.
I’ve never been particularly fond of this priest because I’ve always felt that he’s too judgmental on situations like these but this morning his words and his heart were filled with kind words of love and compassion for our children and that is so important when you are molding young children’s minds. His words moved me.
Don’t get me wrong I haven’t changed my mind. The feminist in me will always believe it is the woman’s right to choose and the 15-year-old me will always fight for the right for women to make their own choice without condemnation from others but he made me appreciate the choice from another perspective, more importantly he explained to my children in a way that fosters compassion and self-respect. I was impressed and in the end, I didn’t have to raise my hand or storm out of mass.

2016/01/22
Why Your Personality Might Be Sabotaging Your Career
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
You hear about people matching their clothing, home interior and cars to their personality, but what about your career? It makes sense to dress in a way that feels suited to your personality, but it makes more sense to choose a career that perfectly fits who you are as a person.
In fact, more people need to be chasing a career that is a good match for their traits, preferences and motives. Like seriously, where was this information when I was meeting with my university advisors. But, better late than never, as my daughter is now making her career choice at university.
When you’re choosing your career it’s important to consider all aspects of your personality at the same time. A holistic approach to life is always a good idea. I’ve always heard the saying, “choose to do something you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Obviously, that’s not true, tbh, you’ll work harder than you ever thought possible ( especially if you’re working for yourself) but you won’t be so miserable because you’ll be doing something you love. That’s the key.
These choices will keep you happy while working your butt off, and you’ll be more likely to get along with the people on your team because you’re just happy to be there. Whether you’re an introvert looking for a job with independence or an extrovert seeking a chance to be a leader, here are a handful of reasons why your personality is so important when it comes to solidifying your career path.
You Will Enjoy What You Do
You deserve to go through life enjoying all aspects of your career and truly loving what you do. It can bring you so much more motivation and joy when you are personally well-suited to your chosen career path. Learning more about Strong-Interest Inventory will give you a better idea of how people match their interests to their career, educational paths and more. After all, doing something that you actually care about and align with can bring you much more happiness in the long run. Now would be the ideal time to delve deeper into your hobbies, favorite subject matters and personal background so that you can uncover a career that is well-suited to you in every sense.
You Will Fit Into The Workplace
Feeling part of a community in your workplace is something that will help you to connect with the people around you. If you surround yourself with others who are similar to you, it’s likely that you’ll form strong friendships and successful working relationships with them too. If you’re a loud and outgoing person, it may be likely for you to go into the media or communications industry. However, if you’re a more private person you may prefer a role in accounting or IT. It’s clear to see that there are certain career paths that will be more suited to you than others.
You Will Experience Much More Success
If you fit into your chosen industry seamlessly you will instantly have more confidence. When you have confidence in yourself, you are, therefore, much more likely to experience more success along the way. When it comes to finding the perfect career for your personality, it’s important to look beyond the career as a whole and focus on the actual day to day role. If your personality traits are aligned with these tasks, you are much more likely to find success.
You Will Be More Productive
You will naturally be better at a job role that is well suited to your personality. This not only gives you the natural skills to succeed, but it also helps you to be more productive and motivated too. Productivity is key to when you’re hoping to have a thriving career that is full of opportunities. Usually, there is only one reason why a person may be lacking in productivity, and this is because of a dip in their skills or lowered interest in their actual field of work.
You’ll Discover More About Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Learning more about yourself will provide you with so many more opportunities when it comes to career progression. Discovering your personal and professional strengths and weaknesses as you navigate your chosen career path will help you to improve in all areas. Knowing what you need to work on can give you a huge step forward in every aspect of your career, and it creates a huge level of self awareness along the way too. Developing a clear action plan will help you to discover the best options for your career so that you can make the next step forward. Any weaknesses that you discover along the way can be enhanced through courses, practicing and coaching. Honing in on any skill and working on any shortfalls is a positive step towards finding a career that is well suited to your personality.
When you take the time to consider all of your personality traits when you’re looking for a job, you will soon find that your career satisfaction increases and your overall happiness improves too. Hopefully, you have the tools, ideas and inspiration to make the right choice for you and your future career.
2024/03/26
National Urination Day?
Just wondering, is there such a thing? I know yesterday was April 20th and tomorrow is Earth Day, but did I miss the memo that today was national Urination Day? I woke this morning to the sound of four little scampering feet climbing out of bed and making their way to the bathroom.( yes, we are all sleeping in my king sized bed while Daddy is out of town. Don’t judge me. I tried to keep them in their beds, it was a battle that I lost. At least if I let them in my bed,they are not waking up 20 times a night coming to get me.A Mommy needs some sleep.) Awww, how sweet I thought. One laid there quietly waiting in the bed until her sister woke up, then they both went to potty together. About a minute into my ‘awww” the door flies open and the littler of the two screams, “Mommy, come hE-ya! Bella need you…NOW!” I figure its butt wiping time. I walk into the bathroom and step into a puddle of urine. I look up and see my 5 year old, cringing ,”Mommy, I’m sorry. I couldn’t make it.” Me: “What happened?” I am completely confused…she doesn’t pee on the floor. Then I look on the floor and see a dry diaper in the pee puddle. Now, I am really bewildered. Gabs: “Me had to pee pee!” Bella: ” She jumped on and wouldn’t let me go.” Me: “Gabs, you had on a diaper. Bella did not. Next time, the little girl without the diaper on…goes first.OK?” Both in unison: “OK, sorry (SA- WEE). WE won’t” So, here I stand at 7:30 in the morning, unsuspectingly standing in urine. After a few minutes of toweling the mess up, changing Bella, and Swiffering the site of ‘the accident’, I decide to return all cleaning materials and soiled clothing to the laundry room. As I am making my way through the house, I step in a wet spot. Seriously? WTH? Yeah, seems my dog had the same idea as my little girls. It was a pissing free for all. Thank God the cleaning chemicals and tools were already out. What a beautiful day; the sun is shining, the birds are singing, the sky is blue and the scent of piss is permeating my nostrils. I would have preferred coffee or bacon but hey, you take what you get. Time to get that Bissell cleaner out! Hope this isn’t setting the tone for the rest of the day? Yikes!
2010/04/21
Yoselyn Ortega the Sociopath Nanny who Destroyed Marina Krim ‘s Life
I’ve been thinking a lot about Marina Krim and her children waiting to see what excuse their nanny, Yoselyn Ortega, gives for murdering Lucia and Leo Krim. I have been following the Krim murder case since the day it happened. It is one of those cases that I need answers to. When something so horrendous happens in the world, I need an explanation to be able to wrap my brain around it and process it. I called for prayers for the Krim family but now I want justice for the Krim family.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, two weeks ago, Marina Krim, returned home from swimming lessons with her 3-year-old Nessie to find every mother’s nightmare. The nanny, Yoselyn Ortega, who Marina considered part of the family and entrusted on a daily basis with her children’s well being, had brutally stabbed and murdered her children. Then, in front of Marina Krim, Yoselyn Ortega turned the knife on herself.

This is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, Yoselyn Ortega
In my book, that was the only merciful thing Yoselyn Ortega did for Marina Krim.
I’ve yet to get my explanation as to what really happened that day at the Krim family home. As time goes by, more evidence comes out. In the latest interview of Yoselyn Ortega by the police, she has told them that she was disenchanted with Marina Krim on the day of the murders. She says that the Krim family treated her badly. Yoselyn Ortega says that she was underpaid, overworked and that Marina Krim was a bad woman, a crappy mother and that Marina Krim didn’t say goodbye to her the day of the murders and it hurt her feelings.
You know what I hear? Wah, Wah, Wah! This bitch is mean. She got pissed at her employer, because she is a spiteful, horrible person and then, just to hurt them irrevocably, she brutally murdered two small, innocent children, Leo and Lucia Krim.
I’ve read all kinds of crazy reactions to this case. People somehow placing blame on Marina and Kevin Krim. Onlookers judgmentally saying that Marina Krim was an entitled mother who didn’t care about her children, only using them as blog fodder but not really wanting to actually take care of them. The key word in that sentence is “entitled” people somehow think it’s a sin to have nice things, to be wealthy. I don’t know the Krims but I know that becoming wealthy takes a lot of hard work and drive so there is no entitlement to it. Besides, when did it become a sin punishable by murdering your children to have money? People are justifying Yoselyn Ortega’s brutal murdering ways because they feel that the poor nanny with her money problems and mental problems needed more attention.
Fuck her. She was an employee. Sure they may have cared for her but they hired her to take care of their children. That was her job. If she couldn’t do her job, I don’t think it is logical that people think the Krims should have paid her to have the privilege of coddling her and dealing with her issues. They tried to help her. They gave her extra jobs to earn more money. She didn’t like the jobs they gave her. Tough shit. From what I am seeing, she is lazy and crazy and a murdering, sadistic person. I’d like to see her get the death penalty. The truth is that this could happen to any one of us.

If you think she deserves mercy, remember there was no mercy for little Leo and Lucia, only betrayal and brutality.
Yoselyn Ortega brutally and painfully murdered Marina Krim ‘s two beautiful children that loved and trusted her.
She violated that sacred covenant between children, the nanny who loves them and the parents who trust these women to protect them and care for them. All nannies aren’t bad people; parents who have nannies aren’t lazy parents. Yoselyn Ortega was a crazy bitch and unless the situation was that Marina Krim chained her up to a radiator naked, beating her and depriving her of food and water, not paying her and making her care for her children and then Yoselyn Ortega slit Marina’s throat while trying to escape that nightmare, this case can never be justified.
I think people are scared and clutching at any explanation as to why a nanny would murder her charges because it truly is unthinkable. We want to place blame on someone, anyone. We don’t want to think that this could happen to any one of us. We don’t want to believe that bad things happen to good parents but they do. So, it’s easier for some people to blame Marina Krim for being a bad mother, for mistreating her nanny, for having a good life, or for being a bad person but she wasn’t.
Bottom line is that Yoselyn Ortega is a fucking mean and vengeful monster who deserved to have died along with those children. If I were Marina, I would have decapitated that bitch with the same knife she murdered my babies with. These are not thoughts that a mother should think but no mother should ever have to endure what Marina Krim has had to survive. Yoselyn Ortega deserves to suffer the same fate that she inflicted on little Lucia and Leo.

If mercy for Yoselyn Ortega comes to your mind, as a mother, imagine the all-consuming pain Marina Krim was/is feeling over the loss of her two beautiful children. Yoselyn Ortega did this!
My thoughts and prayers are with the Krim family and more specifically, Marina Krim. I imagine that every day that she keeps herself above ground is a win for her family. I’m also confident that what propels her forward is her love for her only surviving child, Nessie. May God bless this family and give them the strength to endure this grief.
As for Yoselyn Ortega, I pray that she experiences the same mercy that she extended to the Krim children. Perhaps, we should bring back quartering just this once. Yoselyn Ortega makes me sick and may her journey to hell be slow and painful.
What do you think would be justice served for Yoselyn Ortega and retribution for Marina Krim?
Photos & Reuters/Carlo Allegri[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]
2012/11/08
Hot Damn!Mama Got some New Brian James Shoes & I’m Giving Away a Pair
Shoes! God, do I love shoes and I am not just saying that because I’ve partnered with Brian James Footwear to check out their summer line. No matter how fat or skinny you are, your shoes (usually) always fit. I love that about shoes, they don’t betray you like a pair of bitchy jeans. Shoes and bags are by far the most forgiving of the clothing and accessories.
As I’ve gotten older (and wiser) I’ve realized that I don’t mind paying a little more for quality. I almost die of shame every time I think of the unlined dresses, see-thru tops and tight Gap jeans that I lived in in my 20’s and the shoes? I lived in Wild Pair platforms and Payless trendy boots. Thank God when you’re in your twenties you are pretty and too naïve to know how terribly skewed your fashion sense is.
Older and wiser, more money and a bigger caboose have made me realize that you get what you pay for and if you buy cheap, expect cheap. I used to shop BOGO sales like my life depended on it. I also owned 150 pairs of shoes one summer. These days, I prefer to spend $100 on a pair of nice shoes that fit well and don’t make me feel like I want to punch myself in the face.
This is why I adore Brain James Footwear. They are made by the same people who make PediPeds for your children and they are so comfortable but with a grown up fashion sense for the most discriminating taste.
I tried the Gabrielle in noir and the Monique in Black and Snakeskin. They are cute, chic and comfortable which is great news for this mama’s feet.
The Gabrielle Noir by Brian James
3.5 inch stacked wedge with a contemporary feel. This sandal wedge is styled with stone embellishments and unique cutouts, along with a Velcro closure for adjustability and raw edges for buttery comfort. Perfect for summer date nights with a cute little dress.
– Available in Noir and Taupe Kid Suede
– Features a cushioned footbed
– Velcro closure for adjustability
– Leather lining
– 3.5 inch stacked wedge
– Includes dust bag

The Monique in Black and snakeskin by Brian James Footwear
Minimally sleek. We reincarnated the classic ankle strap style with tonal color block and snake embossed leather. Silky cow leather, cushioned footbed and flexible rubber outsole create a lux feel without the fuss. I rock these everywhere and they are awesome because they work with capris, shorts or dresses. They are very versatile.
– Available in Nude, Noir & Noir, Snake
– Features silky, sheep leather & cushioned footbed
– Leather lining
– Velcro ankle strap for adjustability
– Includes dust bag
These are both perfect for this summer and into the fall, depending on where you live. Also, there are lots of great styles for this fall at Brian James. I’ve been a huge fan of this brand since my first pair. They are stylish, comfortable, well-made and super cute and who doesn’t love cute shoes? Speaking of cute shoes, Brian James is letting me give away one pair of shoes to a reader. To enter, simply go to the Brian James website and leave me a comment HERE telling me what your favorite pair is. I will randomly select a winner a week from today. Contest ends August 12 at midnight! Good luck.
So, what is your favorite pair of shoes from Brain James footwear?
2014/08/05
$100 Shabby Apple GC Giveaway for this Holiday Season
One of my favorite things to receive as a Christmas gift and a staple on my holiday gift guide, aside from tech toys, is shoes and clothes and that is why Shabby Apple is top on my list of holiday must haves. To me, almost nothing beats the feminine silhouettes, simple charm and sophistication of vintage fashion. This is why I have several vintage inspired pieces from Shabby Apple. The quality is high and the price is reasonable.
Recently, I received two beautiful new dresses from Shabby Apple. The Mrs. Robinson and the Truman. I love their simple lines and the fact that they both can be dressed up for brisk autumn nights on the town and dressed down for casual days apple picking or shopping with your little ones.
Mrs. Robinson is grey with white cuffs and collar. It looks very demure but the name suggests anything but. Mrs. Robinson makes me think of subtle sexiness, class and sophistication and that made it my number one choice this holiday season. It is loose yet clings to your body in all the right places.
DESCRIPTION:
- Fitted Bodice with A-line Skirt
- On Seam Pockets with Elbow Length Sleeves
- Key Hole Opening at Front Neck a
- Ponte De Roma
- 97% Polyester 3%Spandex
- Machine Wash Cold, Line Dry, Iron Low Heat
- Made in the USA
My other pick was the Truman. It is soft and lovely and, who am I kidding, the Truman makes me think of Truman Capote and all that amazing stories he wrote and that appeals to the writer in me. The Truman will transport you to a bygone era, where an author sits sipping coffee, leaving behind red lipstick like a memory while working on the next great novel. When I wear the Truman, I feel sexy, smart and interesting. Let’s be honest, I’m a mom to two little girls, I can use all the sexy, smart and interesting that I can get these days.

DESCRIPTION:
- Cowl neck dress with elbow length sleeves and self tie waist
- Available in black
- Sleeve hits above elbow and skirt hits just above knee
- Thick Poly/Rayon blend
- Machine wash cold and hang to dry
These were my two choices but the choice was almost impossible to make; there are so many amazing pieces available at Shabby Apple this holiday season. I’m sure there is something that you will love for yourself.
Good thing too because I am giving away a $100 GC for Shabby Apple so you can get something pretty for yourself or someone special on your holiday list. You can enter using the rafflecopter widget below. Contest will run until Friday November 15, 2013 11:59 pm. Good Luck. Mandatory entry leave a comment below telling me your favorite item from Shabby Apple and Subscribe to The TRUTH about Motherhood.
a Rafflecopter giveaway

In all the excitement, I almost forgot to tell you all that my FIRST EVER post is live at Mamalode. I am honored and humbled to be there. I hope you will stop by and read about how I handled my daughter’s request for another baby.

Disclosure: I was provided product from Shabby Apple for review but all opinions are my own. I love Shabby Apple.
2013/11/08
Vintage
I’m really starting to understand how style and fashion work. Always, it seems, whats old becomes new again and when it does all those clothes that you should have thrown out 15 years ago, but you hoarded instead, become vintage! I know when I was in my late teens bell bottoms came back in style..all the 60’s stuff was really big. I thought I was so cool because I had a bunch of my parents clothes from the 60’s. Now, in the late 90’s/early 00’s the “punk” style came back into fashion. Great, I had a plethora of that clothing from when I was a teenager…of course you look a little retarded dressing like a punk rocker when you are in your 30’s..just saying. If you are not actually Sid Vicious or a card carrying member of one of the original punk bands and you are over 30..you’ve not earned the right to be all anarchist in the USA …after 30. Now, all the neon colors,high tops, lace,acid washed, ripped shit from the 80’s is coming back. That stuff was horrible the 1st time around..why are we letting it come back again? Thank God my kids are too young to partake because I burned all my ~~evidence~~ stuff from the 80’s. The only thing that was good was the fact that I was in my teens in the late 80’s, John Hughes was making some killer movies, and the new wave/punk/ industrial music was awesome. My last word on the subject to anyone who remembers the 80’s, is it just me or are skinny jeans just an updated version of the tight roll jeans of the 80’s? You know who you are…If Kelly from saved by the bell was doing it….I know your ankles were turning blue doing it too!LOL What’s next, Shaker sweaters? Cross color jeans? MC Hammer? When will this madness end?
All I know is that watching fashions come in and out of style makes me feel really old, especially when it happens so quickly. Here’s to being “Vintage” may we get better with each and every new version of ourselves!Now to entertain you with a little flashback….

Truthful Mommy (Iridescent green dress) circa 1990

Truthful Mommy (Right hand side) circa 1996
Please, Don’t hold it against me!I was young, and apparently buckled to peer pressure…or maybe I just didn’t know any better:)
2010/04/27