The TRUTH About Motherhood

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Where’s that damn forest?
I’m looking over some recent pictures of my girls today and I notice something that stuns and really bothers me.Gabi looks like she is in a constant state of dishevelment ( this kid will not keep her hair pulled back. I can fix it 30 times a day and she still ends up looking like cousin Oscar from the Brady bunch, or Joey Ramone, or any other long haired Joey you can imagine). This is not acceptable. Bella never went in public with her hair looking in such a state.Speaking of Bella, my beautiful free-spirited, always giggling Bella, now in her pictures she looks like she is unhappy. She is smiling but the gleam that used to be there is not there anymore and it breaks my heart. She is a tough bird. She is definitely the suck it up and chin up kinda girl. You never see her down, she won’t let you. She makes the most of all situations even if they are less than desirable. She is her Mommy’s daughter in that way.But pictures don’t lie, she looks sad in the way only a Mama would know. She’s missing her friends, her school, her play dates, her life. But she won’t complain because she is so smart and she knows this is the situation. This should not be the concern of a 5 year old.I also notice that I am suspiciously absent from most pictures these days because, to be honest, I feel as if through this last move..I’ve lost control. I’ve reverted back to my workout clothes as acceptable public clothing ( which they are not unless you are actually in the middle of working out) , I never have time to workout ( adding more guilt because I feel like the worst role model on the face of the earth), my straightener who I was using religiously has given way to the ‘ponytail’. There never seems to be enough hours in the day to accomplish all the things that I want or need to do.It’s not Gabi’s hair, my absence of interest in how I look, that’s bothering me, its the fact that the hair is a reflection of what has been going on in our lives over the past few months.It’s the light gone out of Bella’s eyes, the genuine happiness she used to radiate. Here’s how it went down; Daddy has job, Daddy loses job, Daddy gets new job, we move across the country,job down sizes Daddy after 8 months, we move back to original home ( since it never sold) , Daddy gets new job, Daddy moves to Iowa, we stay behind because job is contract. It has been madness all the way round…crippling madness.The girls cry every other night for their Daddy to tuck them in, to play with them outside, to do all the Daddy stuff that he’s always done. I think I am doing an OK job of functioning normally when Daddy is gone but obviously not. I know it, the girls have caught on and I have to change it. But how do I force myself to pull it all together when I am seriously doing the best that I can with the cards I was dealt? To make matters worse, I can’t even talk about it to anyone because…my friends here probably think “Jesus, get over it. You are home.You should be happy”. My friends still living where we most recently left, well, I am bitter because I miss them so damn much and I am here and they are there and I feel displaced. Nothing worse than feeling like life is moving on even though you are not there:)Yes, the world does not revolve around me..once again I am painfully reminded. I can’t talk to my husband because I don’t want to lay that kind of guilt on him. I know him, he’d quit and come home but then where would we be? I just keep telling myself, the best thing for us is right around the corner. I know it.There is no way we’ve gone through all this over the past 2 years for nothing ( God, I hope not).I can’t talk to my family because quite frankly, if you’ve not been in the situation you can not imagine how hard it is. It’s like childbirth, even if I told you ,you wouldn’t believe it and even if you did..you could never fathom the gaping void it leaves in your world. Here I sit, writing it all out hoping to find some catharsis. I may not be able to fix this ‘situation’ but I can fix my reaction to it. So, tomorrow, whether I feel like it or not, I will be getting “ready” before going into public. I will make myself ,once again, a priority. Because, baby, you are what you think you are and if I don’t think I am worth it, neither will anyone else. But most importantly, I am making tomorrow Bella and Gabi Day, as will be every day from now on ( well, at least most days..once in a blue moon Mama may need to keep herself sane:). For now, I have to chin up and chest out. I’m bringing back that gleam in my baby’s eyes, no matter what it takes.I just wish it didn’t take me having to look at pictures to realize what was going on right in front of me. I guess its true, sometimes you can’t see the forest for the trees.
Happy! Last year before “the move” and all the chaos!
Messy hair, disingenuous happiness!
2010/05/13
One is the Loneliest Number~Nutrisystem Update Wk.9
I just finished week 9 of Nutrisystem and this week I lost 1 pound. 1.pound. Those 4 pounds I gained at BlogHer are not going down without a fight. But I am not giving up. I can’t give up. Giving up is how I ended up where I am today, 100 pounds away from my goal weight.
It’s weird how it’s so easy to stay off track once your diet has derailed. I just can’t get my head back in the weight loss game. I need to hit reboot on my healthy lifestyle. I’ve been following the meal plan but I am still not back on track with my daily workouts. The food is the easy part. The Nutrisystem food tastes great but the moving around, the working out, that is essential to losing weight for me. It makes all the difference in the world.
I get up every morning with the intention to workout but with school getting ready to start back, I’ve been swept up in last minute back-to-school shopping, filling out paperwork and trying to get my girls back into their routine. Life is crazy and it is getting in the way.
Maybe that is an excuse? Isn’t that how I got here in the first place? Making excuses? Or reasons? Either way, the end result is gaining weight. The end result is me; unhappy in the skin I am in so no more excuses.
Has this happened to you? Have you started off strong and committed and then life gets in the way and it just seems easier to eat what’s available and not workout? Working out takes effort and you have to be committed to doing it. Thinking about it won’t work. Having good intentions won’t work. You have to get up, put your shoes and go do it. No more excuses. Just do it!
Want to join me in losing weight and getting healthy on Nutrisystem? You can join Nutrisystem by calling 1-888-853-4689 or visiting https://www.nutrisystem.com/nsblog
Disclaimer: Nutrisystem is providing my program free of charge for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogger program but all opinions are honest and my own.

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2013/08/05
How You Can Help a Child Survive the Pandemic
This post is made possible with support from the American Academy of Pediatrics through a cooperative agreement with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. All opinions are my own.
2020 has been a crazy year. Things have happened to all of us that we never could have imagined. As an adult, it’s been trying. It’s hard to get your bearings when the world feels like it’s on fire. I can only imagine how hard this must be on our children; struggling to make sense of everything and trying to function in this new normal. It’s not normal for any of us.
I’ve stayed vigilant these past 9 months since the pandemic began, trying to keep our lives right side up. It takes effort, work, ingenuity, and creativity. I’ve spent the past 15 years trying to help my daughters avoid the pitfalls of ACEs because I suffered them myself and know the effect they can have on a child. Hopefully, our vigilance as parents being safe nurturing caregivers will help our girls fair better should the pandemic be traumatic.
READ ALSO: Sending Kids Back to School during a Pandemic
ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) are negative childhood experiences that impact children and can have long-lasting effects. There are 10 ACEs, and they fall into 3 categories: 1) Abuse (physical, emotional, or sexual); 2) Neglect (physical or emotional); and 3) Household dysfunction (mental illness, domestic violence, divorce, incarcerated relative, substance abuse). Thankfully, ACEs can be prevented or mitigated when adults and children have strong support systems through individuals or organizations.
There are a lot of traumatic things that can happen in a child’s life—including death, pandemics, or natural disasters—over which we have no control, but ACEs can be prevented either directly with help from another person, or indirectly through policy, education, or society changes such as paid family leave or prison sentencing laws.
Luckily, I had adults in my life who helped me navigate those ACEs in my life and get through them. Since then, my goal has always been to be an advocate for children and to pay forward the kindness that was given to me by the three people who saved my life without ever knowing it, even more so this holiday season.
READ ALSO: What Every Mom Needs to Know about Coronavirus
This is not something difficult. I’m not special. But being there for a kid when they need it most can make a huge difference in their life as it did for me. We all have the capability to be kind to others, to help others in need, especially children. Experiencing an adverse childhood experience can be traumatic and can set the tone for the quality of life going forward. Having a support system in place can mean the difference between moving through and past hard things in life or getting stuck or even regressing.
This year, coronavirus has taught me a lot of invaluable life lessons. The most important is how important it is to be able to ask for and give help when needed. But kids can’t always do that. Just the way toddlers can’t always verbalize what they feel because of their lack of vocabulary, bigger kids and teens still have difficulty expressing their emotions, especially during a pandemic. It’s hard to turn to the adults in your life for help when they are crumbling under the enormous weight of an international health crisis. We’re all trying our best but sometimes, as parents, just like our kids, we have to be willing to ask for and accept help.
The most important thing is to create safe, stable, and nurturing relationships and environments for our own children and the children around us. This is the foundation upon which their entire lives will be built. This foundation is not only essential to lifelong health and happiness but could even prevent ACEs from happening in the first place.
For my own children, I check in daily; sometimes hourly. A big part of being there for them is being present in a time when, honestly, a lot of us just want to check out. Another thing I did was put both of my girls into virtual therapy. I am diabetic (underlying condition) so we have only left the house a handful of times in the past 9 months. The girls are doing school virtually. I’m doing grad school virtually. I’m working virtually. We’ve been wearing masks and quarantining for a long time. There have been no family visits. No friends to talk to in-person or at birthday parties. There was no family Thanksgiving celebration. Our world is pretty much the 4 of us who live in this house and as much as we love one another, it is a lot. I didn’t spend all these years doing everything so my girls didn’t experience ACEs just for the aftermath of a global pandemic to mess everything up so I’ve learned to pivot. I know my limits, and I’m not too proud to ask for help.
Therapy helps my daughters talk to someone other than me and express any anxieties or fears they might have and don’t want or can’t talk to me about. It’s a pressure release. I’ve also encouraged the girls to video chat with friends and family and encouraged my husband to initiate his own conversations with them. I want them to feel connected even when we’re physically not and feel heard when the world is so noisy.
I’ve noticed my daughters’ friends also experiencing these same issues as my girls. I’ve always been the mom who the kids know they can talk to about anything. I’m the mom who isn’t afraid to go to school and speak up for the kid getting bullied. I’m the mom who if I see your child struggling or reaching out for attention, I will tell you. I know it might not be popular with my daughters, but if I see a child talking about depression or suicide (needing help), I will and have reached out to their parents or school officials. I can’t ignore it when it can mean the difference between life and death. The thing is you never know what kind of desperation is behind a social media post (especially during coronavirus), and I just don’t feel comfortable taking that chance. I know it’s not a lot, but it’s a small way that I can provide kindness and advocate on behalf of the children in my life.
READ ALSO: Surviving Child Abuse
Being there for children is free. It only takes a willingness to help, time, and genuine concern. This pandemic holiday season, I am going to make sure to send personalized cards to the kids in our lives to let them know they are not alone and we are here to support them. I am also going to take some time to personally call and check in on some of them. I’ll also be checking their social media accounts including the fake accounts their parents know nothing about. The holidays are always a hard time of year for some, but I think this year is hard probably for most.
My gift to the children in my life this year is to be one of their three if they need me, like the three people who were there for me when I needed them most. If I can help a child get through these uncertain times by being part of an unconditional support system and providing some stability, that would be a gift to me.
We’ve all had our three (or more) people in our lives who’ve been there to help us when we needed them most. This holiday season, let’s all pay it forward. Who were the three people who helped create a safe, stable, and nurturing relationship or environment when you were growing up? What will you do to be one of a child’s three this holiday season?

2020/12/03
How to Save a Life with Your Hands
Disclosure: This is a sponsored post written in partnership with the Anthem Foundation, however, all opinions are my own.
Do you know CPR? If someone you loved were to collapse to the ground right in front of you, would you know how to appropriately administer CPR or Hands-Only CPR? I’m not sure that I would.
When I was a teenager, I learned how to give traditional CPR at the Red Cross when I was getting my license to be a lifeguard but I long forget the specifics. When I was pregnant with Bella, again I took a class at the hospital to learn how to administer CPR but it’s been 12-years since then.
I don’t work in the medical field and (knock on wood) I haven’t had the misfortune to need to use CPR thus far but that doesn’t mean I won’t. I could. I’m sure many of us will, at some point in our life.
I’d hate to think that someone, anyone really, my husband, my children, my parents or even just a stranger on the street had a heart attack and died because I never took a refresher course and forgot how to administer CPR appropriately. I’m not sure that I could live with myself if I had to just stand there and couldn’t at least try.
Did you know that over 350 thousand Americans suffer out-of-hospital cardiac arrests every year, and about 90 percent die. That’s scary. But did you know that Hands-Only CPR, especially if performed immediately, can double or even triple a cardiac arrest victim’s chance of survival. However, less than half of people who suffer out-of-hospital cardiac arrest receive bystander CPR or Hands-Only CPR.
[video src="https://120517_Video_Anthem%20FINAL.mp4" /]

We don’t all need to be doctors but I think we all need to know how to administer basic Hands-Only CPR to at least give someone a shot at surviving until the paramedics arrived. That’s why The Anthem Foundation has awarded the American Heart Association a five-year, 7.8 million dollar grant to bring lifesaving Hands-Only CPR to 100 million Americans.
Hands-Only CPR has just two easy steps: one, If a teen or adult suddenly collapses, call 9-1-1; and two, Push hard and fast in the center of the chest until help arrives. Remember if you are called on to give Hands-Only CPR in an emergency, you will most likely be trying to save the life of someone you love: a child, a spouse, a parent or a friend. To learn more please visit www.heart.org/handsonlycpr and www.anthem.foundation.
If you want to learn Hands-Only CPR please check an American Heart Association video here.
2017/12/11
How to Keep Calm when You Get the Lice Letter
Disclosure: This is a compensated campaign in collaboration with Licefreee and #WeAllGrow Latina Network all opinions of how to easily treat a lice infestation are my own.
Ever dealt with a head lice outbreak at school? Isn’t it the worst? The first thing to come to mind is to do all the research on how to treat a lice infestation effectively because no one wants to do that more than once. That horrible letter/email that informs you that someone in the class has been found to have lice feels like punishment. If you have children of school age, you know the terror it strikes in a parent’s heart when it happens because OMG, so much work to get rid of lice.
My girls have been rocking tea tree oil covered braids since they’ve been in school. I am of the school of thought that safe is better than sorry. I try really hard to avoid the girls getting lice. I’ve thoroughly drilled it into my daughters’ heads that they should not share hats, coats or brushes so much so that once, my 5-year-old screamed at the top of her lungs at a classmate whose head had accidentally touched hers, “Get back! I don’t want your lice!!” Honestly, we were lucky she didn’t push her down and run away.
You can imagine how freaked out I was last Nutcracker season when there was a lice scare backstage. All it takes is one person to come to the production with lice and everyone is fair game. Lice do not discriminate; all they need is a warm host with hair. And it doesn’t matter how clean you are, getting lice has nothing to do with being dirty.
In a big production with a cast of over 150 people in tight quarters; there is a lot of sharing and inevitable cross-contamination. Cast members share costumes and headpieces. Jackets, scarves, and sweaters are strewn upon one another as dancers rush to do costume changes. It really is the perfect breeding ground for the spread of lice; almost as bad as your local elementary school.
I’m not going to lie, when I got the email, I went a little crazy. All I could think of was all of that long blonde hair that I was going to have to go through. All of those clean clothes stacked all over the place and stuffed animals now in need of suffocation and hot water. All.of.that.work!
Aside from the prospect of repeating all of that work, I wasn’t excited to put harsh chemicals on my daughters’ young scalps to kill bugs that might or might not even be there. The smell alone of the pesticides are enough to kill anything it came in contact with.
Of course, it had to be done. I wasn’t taking any chances that the girls had caught lice. I wasn’t that keen on power scouring my entire house again so, I womaned up and did what all mom’s do; I took care of it.
After several hours of combing through all of that long, thick, blonde hair, times two, I shampooed their little heads. I shampooed my husband and myself and I scoured every inch of my house. Mind you, we found nothing but we had just hosted a ballerina sleepover and I wasn’t willing to take any chances.
Unfortunately, I haven’t the first idea where to take my girls to get their hair checked for lice. I know there are lots of salons that offer these services but they are costly and not available in all areas. I also didn’t have the financial freedom to hire a hazmat crew to bleach my house or burn the sucker down.
While I can’t give you a quick and painless fix on how to get rid of lice, because it’s a lot of work, I’ve recently learned about Licefreee! It was created by parents, for parents. After dealing with a case of head lice with her own children, a member of the R&D team developed Licefreee, a safe alternative to traditional chemical pesticide remedies for lice that works.
There is no reason that you have to continue using traditional remedies for head lice that contain chemical pesticides such as permethrin or pyrethrum to treat head lice infestation on your children.
Affordable, over-the-counter Licefreee! brand non-toxic head lice treatments use the naturally occurring mineral, sodium chloride, to effectively kill head lice and nits. It’s easy to use so you can get back to your normal life quickly and lice free!
Why choose Licefreee over other brands of head lice treatments?
First and foremost, it kills head lice and nits. Secondly, and very importantly, it’s a non-toxic, homeopathic head lice treatment that’s safe and gentle enough for children 6 months and older but strong enough for adults too!
Licefreee is the non-toxic choice of school nurses and pediatricians and works on all hair types including thick, curly hair like mine. Last but not least, it is 100% Guaranteed. I don’t know about you but if I’m going to have to go through a lice scare and all of that hard work, I at least want to know that it’s guaranteed to work.
Have you ever had a lice scare? What are your best tips for dealing with a scare or just to avoid it all together?
2017/11/06
The Freedom to be Spontaneous with the Gift that Keeps On Giving Every Time the
I am a member of collective bias and this shop has been compensated by #CollectiveBias, Inc. and it’s advertiser. All thoughts and opinions are mine alone.
Warning: This is a PG-13 post in which I discuss marital relations between consulting adults but if you are easily offended by discussing adult themed topics, you are welcome to stop reading.
What do you get for that special man in your life who has everything this Christmas? There is one thing that I know the Big Guy (and every guy for that matter) always likes…you know what I’m talking about, the freedom to be spontaneous like before you became parents. A little unprovoked, unsolicited, uninterrupted (ahem) personal “attention” and he can’t buy that (well, he can but he really shouldn’t.) Since I don’t own a time machine, nor are my beloved kids refundable, I’m asking Grandma to keep the kids overnight, adding a little personal lubricant ( come on ladies, you all know what I mean, sometimes we need a little jumpstart) and letting the good times roll. Merry Christmas, baby!
The Big Guy and I have been married forever for 15 years. When we first got married, romance was easy. We were in our 20’s so attraction and having relations didn’t take any effort at all. We were breathing and we were always ready. It didn’t hurt that we were both pretty hot. We were spontaneous because we had the leisure of time, privacy and youth. There was no stress, laundry or tiny people crawling on us and promptly spitting up on one or both of us. FYI, spit up.is.not.attractive.Not even on Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp. These days, we are simply spontaneous challenged.
We’re 40ish. We have kids who are just old enough to be nosier than they should be. I have insomnia. He gets up for work at 4:30 a.m. and every night is a game of musical beds, thanks to recovering co-sleepers who still think they lay claim to our bed. Sometimes we’re just too damn tired. Yes, it happens!
Don’t feel sorry for us yet. Thanks to a couple afternoons of working from home, we manage some “us” time but I miss making out on the couch (with no one under 5 foot asking, “What cha doin?”), and being able to be spontaneously whisked off to bed/floor/kitchen countertops or finish what we started because kids arguing over Barbie dolls in the next room causes everything south to go dry like the Sahara. Honestly, why does no one tell you that children are female erection killers?
Speaking of which, last week, for 48 hours straight, on 3 occasions, the Big Guy and I were trying to “have relations” when the 7-year-old burst into the room or beat at the door. It’s like she’s my mom and she has radar whenever I might be trying to do the deed. I’m a teenager all over again, except this time I’ve got a mortgage and gray hair and I’m trying not to get busted by a person who sometimes still needs me to cut up her food. Thank God for bathrooms with locks.
So forget waiting for the perfect time, I’m sick of trying to fit “couple time” in between the minute they go to sleep and the surprise hour that they have to pee/get water/ or remember they had homework. Mama needs some adult time with the Big Guy.
This Saturday, I’m giving us an early Christmas present, a child-free night where we can just be Debi and the Big Guy (not mommy and daddy) and maybe channel those two college students who met 17 years ago. I’ve enlisted grandma to keep the girls overnight, made a trip to Target and bought some K-Y® LIQUIBEADS® (to make sure everything down below is ready to go at a moments notice), made reservations for dinner at a place that doesn’t serve chicken nuggets and can’t wait to see where the night leads.
I’ve heard good things about the K-Y® LIQUIBEADS® and they seem easy to use.
- Simply place the OVULE insert firmly into the top of the applicator so it will not fall out.
- Hold the applicator containing the OVULE insert by the opposite end from where the OVULE insert is located.
- Gently insert the applicator into the vagina as far as it will go comfortably.This can be done while standing with your feet comfortably apart and knees bent.
- Push the plunger all the way in to place th OVULE insert as far back in the vagina as possible.
- Throw away applicator after use.
- Insert a bead once every few days so that your body is ready whenever the mood may strike.
I know sometimes when you are pregnant, you really want to be “spontaneous” often, especially with all those “romantic” dreams but if you’re pregnant or nursing, consult a doctor before using.

Coupon available coupon available at coupons.com $1 off any K-Y® product –
2014/12/18
Holiday Recipes with a Healthy Twist
Disclosure: This is a compensated campaign in collaboration with National Dairy Council Fuel Up To Play 60 en español and Latina Bloggers Connect but all opinions on healthy holiday recipes are my own.
The holidays are here and everyone knows that the time between Halloween and New Year's day is all about celebrating, which means it's all about eating and drinking. We look forward to traditional family favorites like candy at Halloween, turkey at Thanksgiving, Tamales, Bunuelos and Rompope at Christmas and, of course, all the decadence and cocktails that New Year's Eve brings with it. It's the most delicious time of the year and also can be unhealthy but it doesn't have to be if you make those holiday recipes healthy. My theory is everything in moderation. If you are craving something and you completely ignore your body's craving, you will be left feeling unsatisfied and frustrated. But what if your body is craving 7 cocktails, a heaping helping of pumpkin pie with more than a dollop of whipping cream and tamales x4? Then what? Firstly portion control is a big part of staying healthy during the holidays. So why not use some of the tools provided by Fuel Up to Play 60 like Supertracker, which allows you to track your food and physical activity while setting goals and having access to the nutritional values of the food as well as target portion sizes. There is also the option of taking your favorite holiday dishes and drinks and making them healthier by swapping out less healthy ingredients for healthier options. For example, swapping out full fat cheeses for low fat cheeses, swapping out red meat for chicken or pork or instead of drinking 3 glasses of eggnog, limit yourself to one. Fuel Up to Play 60 and their new website (FuelUpToPlay60.com) is designed to help Latino students and their families to be active and make healthier dietary choices by providing relevant resources.
It will help you make your holiday recipes more healthy.
Fuel Up to Play 60 en Español aims to help Spanish-speaking students (and their families) create positive changes that increase opportunities for more active lifestyles. Parental diets and family physical activity habits often have an impact on children's lifestyles. Through take-home materials and opportunities for family involvement, Fuel Up to Play 60 goes beyond the classroom and into the community and homes of students to achieve the most effective results. If you're looking for a great holiday gift for the foodie with a nutritional conscience in your life, The Dairy Good Cookbook is a great option. It's full of delicious recipes and beautiful photography. Milk, cheese and yogurt not only taste great, but also are nutrient-rich, affordable, readily available and versatile; making dairy foods realistic options to help people build healthier meal plans. The book features more than 100 recipes that showcase the unique tastes and versatility of dairy – from cheese and yogurt to milk and butter. The book celebrates the nation's more than 47,000 dairy farm families and their commitment to their land, animals, commitment to community and their love of family. The Dairy Good Cookbook is available wherever books and ebooks are sold and retails for $25.00.
How do you keep your holiday recipes healthy?
2015/12/07
Why RVing is the Best Family Trip You Can Take Your Children On
I’m definitely a 5-star resort kind of girl . I love luxury, lazy rivers, hot tubs, and wifi. I blame my husband. Before him, I was the outdoorsy type. I’m not sure if I loved roughing it or I just grew up in a family of 6, so roughing it was the standard on vacation. I never considered that RVing is the best family trip you can take your children on.
I could often be found hiking, swimming, rolling down some grassy hill, laying outside looking up at the stars or just staring in wonder at the natural beauty surrounding me. I took great pleasure in the simple things. The beauty of a sunset, the grass beneath me and the sand and surf between my toes. These things made me happy.
I graduated from university, started having babies, a bad back and no time. Suddenly, 5-star resorts became my gold standard. I’m not afraid to admit that I adore a good room service breakfast in bed. Achy bones and a weary body make a good bed and a deep tub my happy place. Until a couple years ago.
READ ALSO: Why Every Family should go RVing before their Kids Grow Up
I attended an epic road trip with Ford where I drove from Kamloops to Calgary and it was a life-changing moment for me. I was reminded of how truly awesome this world is and how it is ever changing. I knew then that I needed to share this with our girls.
I came home from that trip changed forever. I wanted nothing more than to immerse them in that inspiring, mind-blowing beauty in person; to see how breathtaking mother earth is without the distractions and noise of everyday life. I wanted to take them to this quiet solitude with nothing but the hum of cicadas, the soft summer breeze as it rustles the trees and the crash of the surf meets the shore. I wanted them to hear the ripple of their life that you can only hear when alone in nature.
My love for nature is innate. Both of my parents descend from farmers, so we appreciate the earth because we know it gives life. I guess I just never realized how damn beautiful she was until that moment in Banff. I was ready to share this immediately but photos can’t do justice to that sort of beauty. It always falls short plus that kind of natural peace has to be felt to be understood. But due to circumstances beyond my control, that moment would have to wait.
Finally, last month, we got the chance to give them a taste of all that beauty. We took the girls on a camping trip to Michigan, courtesy of the Traverse City KOA and GoRVing and it did not disappoint.
A bad back and age sometimes make me feel like I’m in my 80’s. But, I dream of sharing all the national parks in the United States with my girls; being outdoors and appreciating the small things that we take for granted so often. I want them to look up at the sky at night and see the millions of stars surrounded by nothing but nature and love. I want them to see the Aurora Borealis dance across the sky and be left breathless. To do all of that, you have to leave the bright lights of the city and go to where nature is still untouched. You have to go camping to really be in it.
We stayed in a stationary RV that looks just like a cabin but is actually built on an RV chassis and towed to its final destination. It was gorgeous and perfect for the first-time camper, the person who wants to be one with nature but prefers indoor plumbing , the avid glamper or those of us who just might prefer some of the luxuries of home, while communing with nature.
READ ALSO: The Secret to the Best Road Trip Ever
However, you slice it, I would highly recommend staying at the Traverse City KOA and renting a GoRVing RV, stationary or otherwise. You won’t be disappointed. I know we weren’t. It had all the comforts of home, including tv and WiFi, which we didn’t really use but it was nice to know it was available if we needed it.
Our trip was for 4 days and it was the best vacation we had all summer. We travel a lot and we do love it. We love big cities and exciting things but being in nature is a different kind of vacation. There was no need for scheduling and planning. The only plan was to get on the open road, enjoy one another and the nature all around us.
Camping is the kind of trip that refuels your soul. There was something absolutely magical about sharing the Sleeping Bear Dunes with my daughters, swimming on a private beach and eating the best pizza ever at a market.
We combed the beach for rocks to make kindness rocks for others. We danced and sang with our tweens as we barbecued outside and laughed so hard that we cried while sitting around a bonfire talking and roasting smores. It was magical because we slowed down enough to just be with one another. We talked. We listened. We laughed. We came back together stronger.
I don’t know about you and your family but I suspect it’s similar to mine, we work all the time. We work hard. Between the Big Guy and I working, the girls going to school and 6 days of ballet a week, there is not a lot of time for just being, as much as we would love more of it. We try to have dinner together and we do talk to each other every day. We make the effort to ask questions even when we are all so busy and tired all we want is a nap and some silence. Camping together allowed the rest of the world to fall away for four days and it was just us and nature and it was truly the most special time.
Before we even got home, the Big Guy was talking about making this an annual trip. But I think we want more. I’m hoping to get to take my family to the national parks out west next summer, hopefully in an RV. I want that togetherness that camping provides.
I only have 6 more summers with my oldest daughter before she goes off to college and that fact is not lost on me. Each moment is precious. I’d love to have at least 6 more RV camping trips with our girls. I want them to look back on their childhood fondly and remember all the magical moments together standing in awe of the beauty of nature surrounded by all the love.
I want to extend a sincere thank you to GoRVing.com and the Traverse City KOA for facilitating this absolutely magical trip for my family. It’s changed the way we vacation. I guess I’m not as much of the 5-star hotel girl as I thought I was. The outdoorsy me is still inside and begging to sleep out under the stars.
If you don’t have an RV, staying in a park model cabin like the one we stayed in is a popular option to try out the RV lifestyle. Some campgrounds also have travel trailers all set up on site available for rent.
In addition, there are some companies like Camp N Style located in San Diego that will bring an RV (could be a travel trailer or a motorhome) right to the campground and hook it up so when you get there, its ready to go! These are generally equipped with pots, pans, dishes, full kitchen & bath, AC & heat, too!.
Ready to plan an RV adventure of your own? Visit GoRVing.com for info on how to get started, how to choose the RV that’s right for you, where to go, what to bring and so much more!
2017/09/20
Proven Ways to Help Support Your Child at School
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
The coronavirus pandemic has been hard on everyone, especially kids. The world has been an upside-down and, quite frankly, scary place to be since 2020. The new normal is not normal, at all. So, if you feel like your child isn’t doing as well as you think they are capable of in school, then you know how frustrating this can be not only for you but for your child. You may feel helpless, as though nothing you do helps, and maybe you even feel hopeless that you have no choice but to watch them struggle. It doesn’t have to be this way though, in fact, there are many ways that you can give your child the help and support they need.
Teach your Child that Failure is Okay
This is something I, as an adult, still struggle with myself. If you want to get good at something, then you have to start by being bad at it. Encouraging your child to increase their rate of failure is the best way for you to help them learn. Teach them that with failure comes success, and make sure that they are resilient too. If you can do this, then they will take setbacks much easier, and it will also help to prepare them for later life too. Chess has been described time and time again as being the ultimate teaching tool, purely because of all the positive effects that it can have on your child and their logic. It also helps them to develop concentration and discipline too. Many board games involve some degree of chance, but this is not the case with chess.
Do not Over Praise
It’s so important that you explain to your child that everyone in life has a different talent and that it is not always possible for everyone to get a trophy either. Over-praising can lead to some issues, and this is especially the case when your children realize that they are not as amazing or as brilliant as they thought they once were. Sure, there is power in setting positive yet realistic expectations but that doesn’t mean that you have to praise them for everything.
Make Learning Fun
Learning becomes much harder if it is always seen as a chore. A lot of people have mental blocks when it comes to math at school, and that’s why so many people don’t like it. Psychologists have shown time and time again that if you are in a good mood, then this will make you more engaged and it will also make you more open to learning too. You will be able to master any difficult task if you have the right attitude, and the sooner you can teach your child this, the better. Want to support your child even more? Why not see if you can get some high school worksheets?
Let your Child Follow their Passion
It is not possible for your child to be good at everything, but if you can, you need to try and get them good at a few things. If your child is showing a very specific interest or if they take a lot of joy in a particular topic, then they will find it easier to really push themselves with it. If your child loves music, then try and push them in this direction rather than trying to steer them academically all the time. If you can do this, then you will soon find that it is much easier for you to give them the support that they need to do well.
Make Subjects feel Relevant
It is often hard for a child to focus and enjoy a particular subject because they are not able to see how it has any relevance to their life. They may not be able to see how it is going to help them in the future either. Specific subjects tend to be branded into the head of your child and at times they may wonder if it’s just something that they have to do in order to keep adults happy. If you want to help them here, then you need to make subjects feel relevant to them. You also need to make sure that you do what you can to prove to them that the things that they are learning, are worth it in the long run. If you can do this, then you will soon find that you can make your kids happier when learning and that they are also much more engaged.
So, there are many things that you can do to try and make sure that your kids are happy and if you follow this guide, you’ll soon find that it is easier than ever for you to give them the support they need to excel academically. Why not see how many tips you could implement for yourself today? It’s never been easier to get on the same wavelength as your child.
2022/06/05
Working as a Parent and How to Manage it
When you have children, your entire world changes in ways that you never could have imagined. This is completely normal and understandable. At the end of the day, you’ve brought a little being into this world who is going to be entirely dependent on you for many years to come, and who will lean on you for the rest of their life. That’s a whole lot of responsibility. You’re inevitably going to find yourself changing your day-to-day tasks and routines in order to accommodate them and provide them with everything they need to grow and thrive. You’ll see your social schedule changing, your family schedule changing, your day-to-day tasks and to-do’s changing… the list goes on. But one area that can change drastically when you have a child is your work life and career. Here’s some information on what you may expect and how to manage your work around your little one.
Parental Leave
If you are in an employed role, most countries entitle you to some parental leave when you bring your child into this world or when you adopt a child. This gives you time to recover from any physical processes involved, as well as being able to care for a new dependent or familiarise them with their new home and environment. Make sure that you’re fully aware of the rights that you have in regards to this. Different countries have different rules and allow different periods of time off, paired with different levels of pay and support for time taken off. Knowing what you are entitled to can help you a lot, ensuring that you can enforce your rights and experience the benefits you’re entitled to. It can also help you to create a timeline regarding how long you’ll be able to spend at home with your child and how you’re going to want to spend and manage that time. Finally, it allows you to start looking into childcare options in advance of heading back to the workplace if this is what you’re planning on doing.
Working vs. Staying at Home
Of course, not everyone has the option of giving up work when they have a child. But it’s important to consider your options and what appeals most to you. Some people will want to get back to work as soon as possible, as their careers mean a lot to them. Some may want to give up work in order to focus on their child. Neither is a wrong or right answer or path to follow. It’s entirely dependent on a whole host of personal factors. One thing to consider is the cost of heading back to work vs. staying at home as a stay-at-home parent. When you go back to work, you will be earning an income, but also have to consider the costs of childcare. You may need to earn over a certain amount to make working financially viable, as childcare costs in many areas can be high. Alternatively, you may be able to turn to a family member for support, or your workplace may offer payment of childcare costs or childcare contributions. Staying at home means you may not earn an income, but don’t have to worry about childcare costs. Weigh up all of the different factors to determine what’s best for you and your child.
Remote Work
Remote work is becoming increasingly common and is an option that allows you to work from your own home. This is becoming increasingly preferred by many parents, as it allows a host of perks that benefit both them and their child. Of course, when you work from home, you still have to work, so this doesn’t mean that you will be paid to take care of your child, or that you will be able to work without having to consider childcare. You may still need to find childcare for your little one while you’re concentrating on your work. But the benefits are that you don’t have to worry about spending time or money on the commute to and from a workplace elsewhere. This frees up time and cash that could be spent on other things, such as your little one. You also have access to your personal space during your breaks, which could be used productively, such as quickly putting a wash in, preparing some elements of dinner and more. Consider searching for remote positions if you specialize in a role that can be completed from home. Some companies also offer hybrid roles – where some days are spent working on site and some days are spent working from home – that allow flexibility.
Flexible Work
Some workplaces are more strict than others. Some will require you to be working at specific times and available at specific times. Others allow more freedom, simply stating that you need to log your working hours and can do so throughout the course of the day. If you require more flexibility with your working hours – perhaps you need to drop your child to school, clubs, appointments and more – you could look for a company that’s going to be more flexible with you and your needs. Alternatively, you could try to arrange this with the company you already work for. Many will oblige, as long as you state when you are and aren’t available in your calendar. This can make managing your work life alongside your personal life a lot more simple and straightforward. This can also work well with shift work. You may be a nurse in Uniform Advantage Cherokee scrubs , which means you have to work on a face-to-face basis, but your shifts could be arranged around your individual needs.
After School Clubs
Often, children finish school before the majority of adults finish work. This can cause issues if you’re unable to collect them from school when you’re still meant to be on shift. But this, of course, is an extremely common challenge many parents face. This is why many schools have offered up after-school clubs and extracurricular activities. They will keep your child in school and provide them with entertainment, fun and games until you are ready to collect them. Not only is this fun for your children, helping them to enjoy themselves around others of their own age and develop new skills, but it means you don’t have to worry about arranging external childcare or collections.
Summer Camps and Sessions
Another challenge that working parents can face is school breaks and holidays. Children get a lot more breaks than adults do – often around special occasions or summer breaks. They will be off school, but you may still be required to go to work. What happens here? Well, many solutions have been offered up as this is a problem that many parents would otherwise struggle to negotiate and manage. Common activities for children during these breaks include daily activities, where your child can be dropped off in the morning before you head to work, or camps, where children can stay for a longer and more extended period of time.
Support Networks

As with any element of being a parent, it really is important that you have a good support network around you to help you through the process of working and parenting at once. This network will differ between one person and another, and there’s no right or wrong way of managing it. There are some people who will rely on their partners to split responsibilities. Some people will rely on family members and friends for support. Remember that you are never alone. If you don’t have these individuals to count on, you’re by far not the only person to feel this way. There are others out there who will be more than happy to help, from other parents to support groups and more.
Relaxation and You-Time
If you are working and parenting, chances are, you’re pretty exhausted. Nobody is superhuman and you’re going to find that you definitely need some time away from both activities to let your hair down and recuperate. This is why scheduling some relaxation time and you-time is important on a regular basis. This can vary from one person to another, as different people unwind in different ways. It could be something as simple as getting up a little earlier than your kids to enjoy a hot drink and the news or a TV program. It could be waiting up a little after they go to bed to have a bath and soak. It could be splitting childcare on weekends so that one weekend you may take care of someone else’s kids, but the next you can look forward to an afternoon or evening spent to yourself doing what you want to do – whether that’s a meal out, cinema or simply a long, well-deserved nap. You don’t want to overload yourself and experience burnout, as then you won’t be able to look after yourself or your little ones.
As you can see, working and parenting are two draining activities that can be quite difficult to manage at once. But it is possible. Hopefully, some of the advice above will help to guide you on this journey, taking the paths that best suit you, your children, your lifestyle and your needs. Give them a try and see how things improve!
2022/07/21