In our house, weekends equal sleeping in, relaxing and indulgent brunching. All week long, we are always in such a rush to get to all the places that we need to be that we seldom have time for anything more than toast or cold cereal. There is no time to linger and have long conversations over hot breakfasts and warm coffee. This alone makes us look forward to Sunday mornings.
As our daughters get older, life goes by faster. I know it sounds crazy because time never actually speeds up. But I swear it seems like just yesterday my girls were being born and that first year seemed like an eternity but now, they are 8 and 10 years old and the days, months and years are flying by. Sometimes, I just want to hit pause and Sunday brunch is our way of doing that.
We know that Sunday mornings are the one day a week that we can all sleep in until the girls jump in bed and wake us to butterfly kisses and tiny giggles. Then we come downstairs in our pajamas with no place to be and as a family, we make brunch.
Usually the Big Guy or myself make the meal but the girls are always close underfoot to help set the table, clean the fruit, squeeze juice or at the very least chat us up about the weeks happenings at school, ballet and tumbling. This is when we really talk about everything and nothing. In order for us to parent effectively, we have to listen and engage in these fleeting moments.
Brunch usually includes music playing in the kitchen as we have impromptu morning dance parties while the smell of bacon and something scrumptious in the oven wafts through the air. This weekend it was ooey, gooey Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls. There is just something so comforting about biting into a warm, freshly baked pastry dripping with icing. It’s like a warm hug.
Honestly, the only thing better than the smell of bacon and cinnamon rolls wafting through the house is the sound of little girls giggling and mommies and daddies sharing inside jokes, winks and stolen glances as they take it all in. They don’t call it Sunday Funday for nothing.
In my book, it doesn’t get much better than sleep in your eyes, random hugs and cuddles and food that makes your soul dance. What’s your favorite Sunday morning family ritual?
Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Pillsbury through their partnership with POPSUGAR Select. While I was compensated to write a post about Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls, all opinions are my own.
Sorry to those of you who have been following along. The weekend has once again gotten away from me. It’s really hard for me to spend time on the computer when I have my husband home with me. Our time is few and far between , so I have to make it count. Please forgive me. I know that you all understand! But here are the challenges that I issued for the weekend.
Be A Better Me (You) Challenge – Day 17 ~ Cook what you want for dinner Sounds simple right? I’m not sure about you but I spend a lot of time making what every body else wants, will eat or prefers. My choices usually are not even considered. I mean, I don’t cook food that I hate(I’m not trying to punish myself) but I also don’t ever say “Tonight, I’m going to make exactly what I like!” I can’t because, its not usually what the rest of the family wants. But my challenge for you is a simple exercise in remembering that you count and what you like. Pick a night and cook whatever it is that YOU like. How many times have you made what your husband likes to make dinner special? How many times have you choked down your kids favorites so they’d be happy? Probably always, right? Tonight, make what you want. If you didn’t have to consider picky eaters palettes,what would you eat? Me, well, I love sushi, eggplant and green peppers. All things that are very much unappreciated by the rest of my family. Maybe a little eggplant parm is exactly what this situation calls for in my house. What would be your dream meal?
Be A Better Me ( You) Challenge- Day 18 ~ Get rid of a bad habit We all have something we do that we don’t want to do or is not necessarily good for us. These things serve as crutches to us. I don’t want crutches anymore. I am tired of being hobbled and want to stand straight on my own two feet.Bad habits are developed over time and serve no good purpose in our lives. The bad habit I have that I’d like to kick to the curb is needing the validation of asking ” Does this make me look fat?” Seriously, how is that question helpful? It means I am obsessing over my looks and expending my energy in a very negative way. It’s also liable to make me a bad Mommy if my girls hear this slip out of my mouth. I don’t want to pass on my weight issues. Why am I asking? If I am or I am not, or it does or does not make me look fat..is irrelevant. Even feeling like I need to ask the question, needing that validation is crippling me from being the best me I can be. If it bothers me then I should just work on it. I am my own worst critic and really no matter what the Big Guy answers, I am never satisfied. I need to stop asking that damn question; more importantly stop needing that validation from others. I need to just work on the problem and fix it rather than questioning myself and others. So,I am going to stop asking “Does this make me look fat?” To do this, I must work to make sure that I know that I am not. If I am not, then it stands to reason that I can not look like what I am not! End the end, ending this habit will be the catalyst to making me be a better me for me.What is your bad habit that’s keeping you down or holding you back?
Be A Better Me ( You) Challenge- Day 19 ~ Breathe; Relax Stop snickering. It’s very simple but sometimes we need to be reminded. Life has a tendency to snowball and overwhelm us. It’s really a miracle what difference having the forethought to stop, breathe deeply, exhale and relax. My Mom has told me this since I was a child and I never believed or fully understood. Quite frankly I thought she was a little crazy. It seems with having children I am gaining great wisdom and insight into the world around me. For example, one more thing I learned to understand fully, why parents would ever think of sending a teen aged daughter away to boarding school and pay all that money for virtually a baby sitter. Believe me, if these young emotionally charged years are any indication of what may be to come, I may be putting a kidney for sale for some peace and sanity. But lately, I have been trying to breathe. I will admit it has been a last resort, but it was the only way I could come to it. It’s making me a better person because its giving me the control to be in charge of my emotions and not fly of the handle, which, lets face, seldom works and usually just leads to guilt. I just feel like a better person being able to control my reactions to the world and situations that it seems to keep hurling at my head. Breathing make me feel in control and control is what winds my clock people.I can’t imagine how awesome I’d be if I could make myself meditate. Something I may have to make some time for. So, breathe and relax is your challenge. Just try it! I promise, you’ll like it.
Just a challenge update, my friends, I am sitting here with my hair fixed, and a dress on. I feel pretty cute. A little effort went a long way this morning! Also, I am sitting here in peace and quiet because the Big Guy has taken the girls shopping leaving me with some quiet , alone time. God bless him. And next week, BIG Guy and I have date night for my birthday. I can not wait. So be warned, there will be no posts next weekend! But I will be living the challenge..and the dream! Happy Mothering!
I’ve been to Walt Disney World many times and each time I go I learn something new so I am sharing my 10 tips for maximizing your Walt Disney World Vacation for free. These are simple tips that every person that takes a Walt Disney World vacation should know before going. I’ve been about 20 times and some of these I just learned this year when I attended Disney Social Media Moms Celebration so these tips can even teach a seasoned Disney World vacation taker a thing or two or ten. Hold on to your rose gold Mickey Ears because you’re about to be blown away.
10 tips for maximizing your Walt Disney World Vacation for free
1.There are outlets and charging areas in each park. Some are well-known and easily found others are hidden in plain sight. One option available at all 4 Walt Disney World parks is to drop your phone off at Guest Relations in the park for charging. You provide your own charging cord and they will give you a claim ticket. There are outlets throughout the parks if you know where to look. My favorite charging stations are the ones in the Magic Kingdom, particularly, the false tree stumps across from the bathrooms in the Rapunzel/Tangled area and the outlets in The Yellow FastPass+ Tent in Storybook Circus.
2. You don’t have to pay $3.25 for water to survive the raging Florida heat. Disney World provides free ice water/ water bottle refills at all quick service restaurants. All you have to do is ask.
3. Everyone knows that you get three fast passes per person per day on your Walt Disney World vacation. Did you know if they are used before 3 pm, you can then schedule 1 more at a time for your group so the earlier you schedule your fast passes, the better.
4. If you are celebrating a special occasion (birthday, 1st visit, honeymoon and anniversary) every cast member will wish you a happy, pixie dusted celebration and some places you even get royal treatment like free desserts and fast passes. It’s a great way to make a celebration even more special but please, don’t say you’re celebrating if you’re not.
5. If you love Walt Disney World but hate long lines, have I got a tip for you. Lines are always shorter for rides during parades, fireworks and mealtimes. I know, it is total common sense but if you are like me, you might get swept up in all the Walt Disney World magic and totally lose all that common sense when you hit the parks. I do.
6. Speaking of long lines. I tend to get hangry and a hangry mom is a bad situation. It’s even worse than hangry toddlers. So to avoid both, use Disney’s new mobile food ordering option on the My Disney experience app. It’s like the Starbucks app, you place your order, pick up your food and eat and avoid the lines and the hangries. It’s a win, win, win. Nothing ruins a nice Disney World vacation with your family like turning into monster mom because you need food.
7. As I just mentioned the My Disney Experience app, I’m going to mention it again because it is THAT good. I use it to schedule fast passes, meal reservations and know the extended magic hours (if you are staying on grounds) 180 days in advance. Believe me you will want to get those coveted reservations as far in advance as possible. But even if you miss that 180 day window of opportunity, by using the My Disney Experience app, you can check while you are on grounds and reservations open up all the time and if you want to go old school and you like to do your Disney World vacation with no tech whatsoever, most restaurants do take some walk-ups.
8. Speaking of magic hours, like the way I did that? If you are staying at one of the Disney resorts on grounds or one of their participating partners, you can take advantage of magic hours which are either an extra hour in the morning before the general public is allowed into the park or a few hours at the end of the night. It is a great way to grab photos that are not saturated with strangers and get in line for the most popular rides and avoid some of the wait time. At night, it is so much fun to ride the rides in the dark and also to have access with so many fewer people. I highly recommend planning your days in the park according to the days they have extended hours.
9. Memory Maker is your friend. As a mom, I’m usually never in the photos and that makes me sad especially when we are making all those amazing memories on our Disney World vacation. However, with Memory Maker I can just let Disney take all the photos and not worry about it. Then I have access to 100s of photos including those hilarious ride photos. It’s simple you find the photographers in the parks ( they are everywhere) and they will take your photo. They scan your magic band and voila, they appear in your my Disney Experience. Same protocol when you get off the rides, go to the kiosk and scan your band. They even do some Disney Magic and add fun little surprises to some of your photos.
10. Last but not least, my best tip for maximizing your Walt Disney World vacation for free is to simply be in the moment, enjoy yourself and most importantly enjoy your family. Those little ones will only be little for a little while and it goes by in a flash. Who stole my toddlers and gave me these teens? Luckily, magic is not just for the little ones. Walt Disney World has a way of transforming us all into happy, excited 4-year-olds every time we walk through the gates. That’s the real magic and I love every single minute of it, every single time.
What is your best tip for maximizing your Walt Disney World vacation for free?
I know many of us have picky eaters. My 3 year old would be perfectly happy to exist on nothing more than chicken nuggets for the rest of her life. Most days I fight with her, barter with her, do anything I need to do ( Dance monkey dance) to get her to eat something different..but some days….I don’t. I know. I am horrible. My kid’s going to turn into a giant chicken nugget. But the nuggets, or Nuggies as they are affectionately called in my house, are just a symptom of a much larger problem…Second Baby Syndrome.
Ahhh, I feel a weight has been lifted just by simply saying the words aloud.Many, if not all of you, know exactly this syndrome of which I speak. I’m not proud to admit this but it is the truth. With Bella, everything was perfect. What I mean to say is that I did my best to do everything right! She was always dressed adorably, not a hair out of place, all meals were up to food pyramid standards, just the right amount of sleep to play ratio. I read to her, I sang to her, I engaged her, TV time was limited, classes were taken, play dates were made and minds were expanded.I used to turn my nose up to those Moms that I saw in the grocery store, who looked like they had no mirrors in their house and so obviously should not have been parents..as they were yelling at a 3 year old at the top of their lungs because the poor kid wanted granola bars. Then we were blessed with Gabs.
One child is ONE CHILD but two children feels more like ten! I naively thought that having two would be as easy as one. ( What I meant to say as easy as my one was.)What did I know? Suddenly, my days went from doting, anticipating every need, hitting every milestone in stride and ending the day patting myself on the back for a job well done to feeling like I couldn’t can’t keep up. It all became a blur. A fog filled with love and clamor.Noise.Chaos.More love. It enveloped me.I fell into it willingly.But somewhere along the way, I got lost. I lost sight of all my expectations. I think I evolved (or perhaps devolved ) in my parenting skills, however you want to look at it.Somehow I became , what I now know to be, the exhausted, sleep deprived Mom whose husband travels for work all the time and who has not had a shower or shaved her legs for 3 days. And after a testing morning trying to get her older child off to school, she NOW is standing in the middle of the grocery with her 3 year old tantruming over the exact same granola bars that Mommy had to throw away this morning because said child had spat it out all over the new carpet because…it tasted “bad”. All I know is that it was not humanly possible for me to keep up at the pace I had been doing with one child. There had to be a give and take.
It’s a hard moment in motherhood when one has to accept this fact.It feels like defeat but really what it is IS growing pains.It’s you growing into your role of motherhood. I am certain I experienced the 7 stages of grief when letting go of my expectations of motherhood. First there was shock and denial. What? Both kids won’t nap at the same time?I can handle this.I don’t need sleep! 2nd stage, Pain and guilt. I can’t take this any more.Mommy needs some time to decompress too.Please go to sleep. Oh, no don’t cry. It’s OK. Say awake.I’m such a crappy Mommy trying to force my toddler to go to bed, just so I can have some alone time. I suck! 3rd stage, anger and bargaining. GO TO SLEEP!!! Just be quiet and go to sleep. Please go to sleep! If you go to sleep, I will take you to Chuck E. Cheese tomorrow. 4th stage, depression, reflection and loneliness. Crying because you feel overwhelmed. During this time, you finally realize the magnitude of your loss and it depresses you.You can’t be the parent that you had expected to be..because it’s impossible. You may feel isolated, left to reflect alone on your lost expectations and focus on what you thought things could have been.( Cue the montage of you and your pre baby body running in a field of lilies with your perfectly coiffed matching dressed little girls.)You may sense feelings of emptiness, failure or despair.5th stage, the upward turn. You begin to adjust to your new role with new expectations.Life will become calmer and more organized. What that really means is that your house will be dirtier, the meals will be less food pyramid organic and more chicken nuggets for the finicky pallet of the most distinguished toddler connoisseur. Mommy guilt will begin to lift. Stage 6, reconstruction and working through.As you become more functional, your mind starts working again ( mommy brain may have lifted a bit but, let’s be honest, probably not.It’s a slippery slope from pregnancy brain to Mommy brain to full on forget where you put your vajayjay this morning.. sun downers.I’m just saying). You will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by motherhood. For example, the 5 second rule becomes perfectly acceptable.God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt, may be heard around the house.Summer afternoons in the pool may begin to qualify as bath time. And finally, you will reach stage 7, acceptance and hope.You learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. This in no way means instant happiness. There’s no magic pill for motherhood. Once you give in to the reality that parenting two babies is exponentially harder than one, you can adjust your attitude, your expectations and your technique. You can have hope that one day, you will sleep again.Someday…maybe when they are married and sleeping safely in their bed with their husbands. (Sucker, She’s your problem now!)
And so as I sit here, stuffing more random pieces of paper with notes scribbled on them into Gabs’ baby book, I am reminded of the quote ” Don’t be sad that it’s over, be happy that it happened!”~Seuss Be glad that you cared enough to have the expectations and to impose them on yourself in the first place. Then, go feed that kid some chicken nuggets before they throw a tantrum in the middle of the store:)
Teenage girls get a bad rap. They are painted as moody, bitchy, argumentative creatures who are just plain mean, even cruel at times and above all else, they hate their mothers. I’m not sure that’s a true representation. I know being a teenage girl is difficult on a good day.
Now, I’ve never personally hated my mom. There was a brief moment in history when I thought I knew better than her and I was inclined to telling her so. I believe it the ages of 15-17. I talked back so much, it’s a wonder that I have any teeth left in my head. I was very willful and headstrong, as children becoming adults often are. I was one step above throwing tantrums.
My mom was a saint, aside for the occasional moments when she just couldn’t stand it anymore and would, without saying a word, push her bony knuckles into my thigh. Don’t feel sorry for me, I deserved much worse and now, I know what restraint it took to not say a damaging word to me.
I always wanted to skip that part of motherhood and to be honest, I was terrified of it. It was the part when my mom and I put some space between us, or rather I did. I took every word and look as a transgression from her. She really could do no right. Now I see, how hard she was trying. After all, when I was 17, she was a mother of 4 teenagers, a 10-year-old and a newborn. I don’t know how she managed and right now, I applaud her for not killing us all.
People warned me of what I had to look forward to when my own girls entered the teen years. I had nightmares of my sweet, loving daughters turning into gum smacking, eye rolling, ish talking monsters but mostly I feared the wedge it would drive in our relationship. Honestly, it’s been hovering like a rain cloud for their entire childhood. I think it’s part of why I’ve tried so hard to build an open, honest relationship with my girls. It’s what I always wanted with my own mom.
Don’t get me wrong, my mom and I were close. She’s one of my favorite people but I think we could have been closer had we clung to each other during the rough patch rather than have pushed one another away. Heated emotions allowed us to walk away. At the time, I think we both felt it was to cause less damage but in retrospect, it allowed for complacency. I realized some relationships are worth staying and fighting; the one with your mom is one of those.
Here I am many years later, entering the teen years again. This time I’m the mom. I’ve put in 13 years preparing both of us for this moment. It’s been work and consistency every single day. It’s meant having hard discussions, being completely open and not being perfect. It’s meant tears and hard choices but always my heart was looking to the long game. Every moment has been a teachable moment. There is no room for complacency in my motherhood.
I never know if I’m doing it right. Most of the time, it feels like I am doing it absolutely wrong. But then every so often, my daughters do something that validates everything I’ve been doing. It’s never big sweeping gestures. I don’t want those. Anyone can do those, it’s like going to church on Christmas. It comes in quiet moments in the form of unexpected words or actions that I’m not even sure are meant for me to see. It’s in the kind of human beings they are becoming but sometimes it’s more obvious but still just as powerful and meaningful and I find myself crying because I am moved.
Why am I talking about this? Well, a couple weeks ago I was visiting my parents alone. No Big Guy and no girls. I actually got to be just a daughter for the first time in many years and it was glorious, but that’s a post for another time. Anyways, back to my story.
While I was at my parents’ house not being in charge and having all of my whims indulged, my phone dinged. I was mid-conversation with my mom. Ironically, it was my daughter. Wasn’t sure that I wanted to open the message because, honestly, I was in such a good mood and I just knew it was going to be the girls pulling me into an argument they were having or them trying to convince me to overrule a decision their father had made. I never do that by the way because marriage=solid front.
Anyways, against my better judgment, I opened the message from my teenage girl.
Did I mention this was during the last couple weeks of school so hell was breaking loose? The girls bickering had gotten out of control. It moved beyond simple arguing and tattling to a full contact sport and it was exhausting to watch and to mediate. This is one of those moments when I completely feel like I am failing at parenting. But, I can’t ignore my children. I opened the email and this is what I found.
Not going to lie. It made me cry. It made me puff out my chest. It made me feel all the feels and I immediately ran over to my own mom and showed her what an amazing granddaughter she has. She raised me, so she gets credit too. And I think we both felt all warm and fuzzy inside knowing that even if our relationship may have been strained for a few years, it made me the mom I am today. A teenager who randomly sends her mom this song for no reason at all, well, I’d say I’m doing something wrong…at least on that day.
Love your teenagers the way you loved your toddlers; same kid, different body. You keep putting that love out there, even when everyone wants to walk away and it’s easier, you keep momming that kid. You might not know it by looking at them when they’re ignoring you and rolling their eyes but they see you. They hear you. They love you and they know you love them unconditionally. P.S. It might kill me when they leave for college.
What has your teenage girl or teen boy done that’s surprised you?
Resolving to incite a revolution ~I am way past the point of making resolutions.After all, what the hell is a resolution anyways, nothing more than an empty promise, a flimsy threat at the most.Nope this year, I am declaring war. I’m inciting a revolution.I am resigning myself to a little shock and awe!
*No MORE Cheating!You heard me. I don’t mean that I’m cheating on the Big Guy, never! I mean cheating on diets, cheating myself out of life, cheating myself short on opportunities, cheating my girls out of my complete attention and devotion.
*Embracing Exhaustion! Oh yeah, I am about to make it my mission to exhaust every single iota of potential that these bones have in them. No more sitting on the sidelines letting life happen to me or waiting for things to be done for me, this broad is grabbing life by the balls and making him my bitch. I am going to work this potential so hard, its not going to know which way is up. As the old cheer goes, “Be aggressive..B*EE* EE Agressive!” I’m about to be the change I want to see in my world!
Resolving to incite a revolution
*Organization, Organization, Location! I am a planner, a scheduler, a write it down on paper and DOER! Life seems to have gotten out of control.I don’t mean a little bit off kilter, I mean it has spun right the hell off its axis.Well, NO MORE! Hey, life! Guess what? I AM IN CHARGE..NOT YOU! So, I’m putting pen to paper ( yes, I’m old school like that sometimes) and I’m making a schedule. I’m waking up earlier, getting more sleep, not rushing through life because I’ve planned accordingly, and ( because I am still a bit reckless) I’m even allowing copious amounts of free time for spontaneity.
*Love Hard, Love often! I am making sure that the Big Guy and the girls know how much I love them and how important they are to me. I’m not referring to telling them, speaking the words. I do this already, several times a day. In fact, I’ve told the girls ( constantly) since birth “Guess what? I have a secret.Want to know what it is?” They used to get all excited, their eyes like saucers and ask”Yes, Mommy. What is it?” My answer, I’d bend down and whisper in their tiny ear ,” I Love you more than anything.” Now, they just give me a sheepish smile and say, “What is it Mommy? Tell me!” But more than saying the words, I want to show them with my thoughts and actions.I want to be present in every moment with these family and friends that I have been blessed to be surrounded by in my life. I want them to know in their heart that when I say “I love you” it means..forever, for always, for good, for bad, for ups, for downs, for skinny, for fat, for Always. When they speak, I want them to know I am listening and that what they say matters to me. No more decorum.I am loving on my littles, the Big Guy, my family and friends with an embarrassing amount of exuberance. I want them to feel it to their core…I love them.
Resolving to incite a revolution
*Prioritize, Perspective, and Present The only way to get it all done, in conjunction with my handy schedule, I have to prioritize what’s really important to me and my family. This depends on my perspective. I am choosing to utilize my own perspective ..finally. I am not considering all the outside factors, aside from my girls. I’m also willfully choosing to see life as ALWAYS half full and at my dispense because, in reality, it is. My only limitations have been those I’ve set upon myself. No more! Last but not least, I’m living in the moment. I’m embracing every stinking moment as it happens. I’m not planning for next year, next week, tomorrow…I’m living in the now..RIGHT NOW,with my girls and the Big Guy. I want to enjoy the small things of my life as they happen, not in 20 years in retrospect as a memory. I want to feel the full effect of my life.
*Forgiveness I am forgiving myself for not being perfect. I am not the perfect wife. I am not the perfect Mom. I am not the perfect friend or daughter.I don’t have the perfect body. I don’t have the perfect house. My temper leaves something to be desired. I over extend myself. I expect too much from myself and others. I fall short, in a lot of ways. But that doesn’t mean that my efforts do not have merit. I am hitting reset for everyone I know. I’m passing out forgiveness like kool aid at a Jonestown party. NO more Mommy guilt, no more fatty McFatty guilt, no more I’m not the perfect wife.My house is disheveled. My kids aren’t perfect.No more, I wish I was Bree Van De Kamp bullshit. From this moment forward, I am going to try my best at every endeavor that I choose to undertake with my priority being excelling at being a good example of a the kind of woman I want my daughters to see me as. I will never be perfect, and that is perfectly acceptable, as long as I am living my life as the best me.
*Incite a Revolution I’m initiating a change in my way of life. I am actively taking steps to become the person that I want to be.That woman who lives inside of me and has been too afraid for a long time to take a gamble.The woman who, even though I hate to admit this, I have realized has been so afraid of failure that I have let it stave off success. No More! No more excuses. I’m not afraid of failure anymore.If I fall, I will just pick myself up and try, try again!But today, I am inciting a revolution between the version of myself that I’ve let myself get comfortable with and the woman I know I can be. I’m starting by setting fire to excuses and self doubt and I’m marching forward with self confidence.
What have you resolved to incite revolution about in your New Year? How are you going to go about succeeding? Happiest of New Years! Hang on to your hats ladies, it’s going to be battle of epic proportions but everything worth having in this life is worth fighting for!
Happy Accident Today is the 12th year wedding anniversary of the Big Guy and myself. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the way we met and came to be engaged. It’s really a sweet story and when I recount it, it makes me warm and fuzzy inside. But knowing how dangerously close this all could have gone a completely different direction, it reminds me of how a Happy Accident changed the course of my entire life.
The Big Guy and I had a mutual girl friend in college who really wanted us to meet, as friends I mean REALLY wanted us to meet. She hounded me for weeks. After several failed attempts to meet one another, finally we were in the same place at the same time. I remember ditching my LSAT class that Monday night in September just to finally make his acquaintance. I walked into that bar alongside our mutual friend never knowing how this night would alter my perception of the world. I was expecting this guy to be the best thing since sliced bread. I mean after all, it was my friend’s best friend and she had nothing but good things to say about him. Instead of a knight in shining armor I found someone unexpected. My friend and I walked up to the bar and as I’m looking for the typical college frat boy, she stops short in front of this long, lanky, bleached blonde hair with BLUE tips, an eyebrow ring and smoking a cigarette boy.WTF?? I thought to myself,well, at least she’s not trying to set us up. To me, he looked like someone that I might have dated in high school when I was going through my “alternative” phase but no one I would date as a grown woman. She introduced us. I was cordial. I said, “Hi,I’m Debi” he nonchalantly cast his eyes downwards toward me and said “hey” barely acknowledging my existence.I immediately did not like him. I could barely stand him. Who did he think he was?Seriously?
As the night progressed, we ended up back at the house he shared with several other guys and they were having a party. Needless to say, the girl who introduced us and begged me to accompany her to the party, promptly disappeared, leaving me alone once again with this guy who , at first glance, seemed quite rude and disinterested in even having a functional conversation. I had an astronomy exam that I desperately needed to study for and all I wanted to do was go home.But, being me, I had absolutely NO idea of how to get home.Finally,after hours of me sitting there waiting for my friend to reemerge, he offered to walk me home. Which, at first, I found the idea ridiculous but out of necessity I agreed. I was completely at his mercy. I was praying that the walk was quick and that he was not a serial killer. It started off as a walk, then he took me to the roof of the parking garage to point out constellations and we began to talk.Really talk. Then we continued walking, I learned later that he took the longest possible way home. I remember being at the soccer fields, lying on our backs looking up at the stars at that moment as night meets dawn and the birds start to sing and you are so deliriously tired but the excitement of the newness propels you forward. In those few hours, we shared our entire life with one another. After a stolen kiss and butterflies, he finally walked me home…and we’ve been together ever since.
Today, as we celebrate our 12th Anniversary of marriage, I look at him and thank God for happy accidents. I am also reminded that love can find you anytime, anywhere and to never judge a person by a first impression.Life is made up of second chances and good things can only happen if we’re open and willing to experience all of the happy accidents that life has to offer. I love you baby! Thank you for walking me home that night so long ago.
This Christmas morning was a little different than our previous Christmases have been. The entire year has been a little “different”, since the Big Guy has been working away from home. It’s been a difficult transition to go from having a very hands on partner/father to one who is no longer here on a daily basis. Due to all this upheaval and unpredictability of the past few months, I felt like the holidays crept up on me and knocked me over the head with a boulder. Nothing has felt right with the Big Guy gone. This situation has caused finances to be off because of maintaining separate residences, I didn’t have the time I normally would have had to go shopping and what not because I had no one here to watch the girls, the ebb and flow of our very existence has been out of whack this past year. So, it was no surprise that this Christmas morning, things felt peculiar.
I woke up and I knew I wasn’t going to be opening any gifts,that was no big deal, I had accepted that fact. Normally, I have an abundance of gifts to open. But that’s OK. Don’t feel sorry for me. The Big Guy bought me a really spectacular diamond band that I’ve been wanting ( last month) and my Mom bought me my BlogHer ticket, so believe me I didn’t need anything to open. And, to be completely honest, having the Big Guy home for 2 weeks consecutively is the most precious gift that I could ever have asked for or wanted.If you could see the excitement in the girls eyes knowing that when they wake up in the morning, their Daddy would be there.You’d know, I want for nothing. If you could know the peace it brings my heart to have the Big Guy within arms reach, you would realize that the gift of his presence was priceless to all of us.
After the girls opened all of their gifts, and the Big Guy had opened the gifts that the girls had picked out for him, there was 1 little gift that we had all forgotten about. That is all of us,with the exception of Bella, had forgotten about. Bella makes a leap under the tree and says in her most sheepish little big girl voice,”Mommy, you forgot about YOUR gift!” I was stumped because I knew, for a fact, the Big Guy was told not to buy me anything (living apart strains the finances). Bella produced the sweetest, plain white bakery bag with a homemade card on it. I had forgotten about the “gift” she had made for me on the last day of school before the break. The gift that had been sitting under the tree for a week and I had been given strict orders could not be opened until Christmas morning. Bella:”Open it,Mommy”as she placed it into my hands. I followed her instructions, as I opened that simple white bakery bag and inside was the most beautiful ( to me) handmade ornament that I have ever laid my gaze upon. At that moment, sitting in front of the Christmas tree with my girls and the Big Guy next to me, I realized that I had the most amazing gift in the world..I had a all the love my heart could hold and then I cried. I wept for the happiness of being blessed with so much love and I wept with sadness knowing that we’ve lost almost an entire year together.After all was said and done, that sweet little angel ornament in the plain white bakery bag is the most meaningful gift I have ever received. Thank you Bella and Gabi for coming into my world and putting things into perspective!!Mommy loves you!
What’s the most meaningful gift that you’ve received?
Well, after last weeks posts,most of you are aware that I have had some issues with my weight. Or should I say that I have struggled with my weight since I was old enough to realize what weight and body image were.I wasn’t necessarily heavy the entire time but you remember how when you were a teenager, absolutely everything was life or death, well for me the entire focus was on my body. I had thin athletic parents and all my friends were stereo typical cheerleader types in high school.So, that made being average sized feel like I was morbidly obese, though I was not.
Then I went away to college and I was so deathly afraid of gaining the “freshman 15” that I literally started starving myself to death. Since then, its been a string of me trying to find a way to keep my body at a weight that was healthy without starving to death or restricting myself.It’s a hard balance to find.I’ve lost and I’ve gained, like most women in America. ..the world, really. You start having children and before you know it, you’ve put on a few extra pounds here, then a few more there and soon you are looking in the mirror and wondering who the hell this person staring back at you is in the mirror. Being a Mommy, I am guilty of always putting my girls first. I try to find time for me but it is truly few and far between, especially now with the Big Guy gone so much for work. A couple months ago, I decided it was time to find my way back to “me” in Mommy. I really made a concerted effort to find some me time, exercise, make myself look presentable, date nights and some of it has stuck and some has not.One of the first things I noticed to go, as I sit here typing in my yoga pants and sweatshirt, was the taking time to get ready in the morning.Don’t get me wrong, the reminder has eliminated the yoga pants and ponytails appearance every day. But I realized as I don’t feel good in my own skin; my body isn’t where I want it to be, it has become harder to feel presentable..even in a nice dress and a hot pair of heels.
This was in September this year on my Birthday.This is what I look like today as I start this journey!
So, I have resolved that I need to lose some weight, for me. Not for my husband or society but for me.I was joking and told my husband that I was going to call this journey my journey from hot mess to hot mommy but that’s not true. I am NOT a hot mess. I’ve pretty much got it together,with the exception of my weight. I’m simply a woman on a journey to feel comfortable in my own skin. Lucky for me, I have been given an amazing opportunity to be a part of the Nutrisystem Nation blogging program. They have agreed to help me on my journey by providing me with the tools and convenience to reach my goal this time, in a healthy way. No, I’m not making a big reveal of my starting weight..I’m honest, not crazy, but my weight is the one thing I keep private. This is a very big deal to go public with my weight loss journey because it is the one part of my life that is usually off limits. But I trust you, you’re my friends. You’ll be supportive and that’s what I am counting on. You are my accountability.I will keep you posted once a week on my progress.
You, my friends, have been with me through the metaphorical thick and thin of my life over the past year, now I need your support in the the physical thick and thin of my life. I’m starting this journey today…right now. My plan is to combine a lot of Nutrisystem with a good amount of Zumba and a brand new perspective. I want to feel at home in my own body, not like I am visiting a strange planet. I want to be healthy,I want to be a good example for my girls.I want to be able to keep up with my 3 and 5 year old. I want to not be mortified to get in a bathing suit for swim lessons.I want to believe my husband when he tells me that I am sexy.I want the mirror to reflect someone I recognize.I want to be around for a long time to see my children grow up and have my grandchildren. I want to be comfortable in my own skin!
DISCLOSURE: Nutrisystem is providing their program to me free of charge in exchange for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogging Program and weekly updates. I am not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed in this post are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
Mommy sex and the man cold don’t mix. If you thought pregnancy and crabs was the worst things you could catch from unprotected sex, you’ve never caught the man cold. And when I say protected, I’m not just talking about wearing a condom, I’m talking about sporting some sexy hazmat suit from head to toe. I learned the hard way that mommy sex and the man cold are a bad combination.
I woke up this morning feeling like I had been run over, backed up and run over again by a mac truck full of cattle. That’s almost how bad I felt, but actually…I feel worse than that. I blame myself, really. Apparently, there are no “poor girls not gotten laid in awhile” pass clause when it comes to your husband being sick. Girl, if you back that truck up and let him cough on you…hey, sex at your own risk; proceed with caution.
See, normally I’m all, “Don’t kiss me on the mouth” all hooker style when he’s sick. But being with the way things are lately ( the whole living situation, limited time together) once we hit the conjagulorium all bets were off. In the heat of the moment, I didn’t care where he kissed me I was more focused on the fact that he was home to kiss me at all. Desperate times, desperate measures.
Now, I’m sneezing so much that I’ve already had to change my panties twice this morning and its only 1 pm. I’m coughing non-stop. My throat hurts like I swallowed razor blades and then took a shot of Drano and my voice is crackling. I have a runny nose that keeps producing the most unladylike green substance that I have ever seen in the entire of my whole life.
That’s not even mentioning my chapped red nose, my chapped lips, my deafness and lack of smell. Plus I pretty much feel like I am walking around in a big giant bubble of sickness.
Guess what? A 3 and 5-year-old, don’t care. They don’t give even one fuck that I caught daddy’s man cold. One’s yelling at me because I won’t take them to Healthworks science museum, the other one is pissed off because she wants me to bring up her winter clothes from the basement and all I really want to do is curl up and try not to die. Why won’t these tiny people let me be sick in peace?
So, you can just imagine what happened when I saw the dirty dishes in the sink this morning. You know, the dirty dishes that I asked the Big Guy to do before he left back out of town. I believe my exact words were,
“Please do the dishes before you leave. I’ve done them for three months straight and I think I might blow my head off if I have to do them again!”
Really, does he want me to blow my head off? Because sure as I am standing here with a red nose and a pocket full of green riddled used Kleenex, he left those damn dishes for ME! It wasn’t too big of a deal until I was on my way to pick up Bella from school and realized on top of everything else…I have to NOW do those damn dishes.
I texted him.Something to the effect, “I am dying over here. Are you fucking kidding me!!!!Thanks a LOT!!!”
His response….”I shouldn’t have taken that nap you FORCED me to take” ( yeah, he was sick so I was being nice but it wasn’t like I put a gun to his head and FORCED him into bed).
Next, as if he wanted me to murder him, he said: “Leave them until next weekend. I’ll do them then!”
Really, seriously, as if I am going to leave dirty nasty dishes in the sink until the weekend. I’m NOT and I’m pretty sure he knows that.
But I am really sick and don’t feel like doing the dishes. In fact, it’s probably the last thing that I want to do right now. I may, however, throw them all in the garbage.
Anybody else have these kinds of days? Just me then? So, to recap, thanks honey for the literal kiss of death you shared with me and the dirty dishes that you left me, as well. Anything else that you want to give me? Maybe a hefty case of gonorrhea? lice? The Bubonic plague? Dysentery? 5 loads of laundry? Throw up in the bathrooms? See you this weekend, the dishes may or may not be waiting too.I guess it depends whether or not they sprout legs and walk away on their own.
