The TRUTH About Motherhood

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More Hopping, FAWKING, and doing it all the HARD way!
Happy Friday, my friends! If you are here! I am happy to see you. It’s Friday and I am in a fantastically wonderful mood. The Big Guy is headed home to our zip code, the Bellarini will be headed home soon and it will be cuddle, snuggles and naps all around! And my Gabs, that little golden nugget is sitting by my side watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse…ever so quietly.Coffee is piping hot and in this moment life is pretty SWEET!Most of you have heard about my Be a Better Me Challenge that I have been doing this month, in honor of my birthday. Hope you can link up and we can all be better us! Also, in honor of my birthday, I have set a small goal of reaching a 1000 followers by my birthday September 25th. So, if you can follow or pass the word on to your friends who you think would enjoy this blog, I would much appreciate it. Feeling too blessed to be stressed this morning. Hope you are too. Take some deep breaths, relax, let all the craziness fall to the wayside. It’s Friday, its a beautiful fall day, and life is good! One more thing, Favor. Can you all help me out. I have been nominated for favorite Mommy Blogger on Babble. If its possible can you help me out by clicking on the first link here:
https://www.babble.com/babble-50/mommy-bloggers/nominate-a-blogger/
Then it should come up on the page “Nominate a favorite Mommy blogger” scroll down, select alphabetically as the way to sort and find The TRUTH about Motherhood and select
‘I like this Blogger”
Thanks everyone!
1. The strangest thing I’ve ever eaten is …alligator in New Orleans and rattlesnake and goat in Mexico.
2. I wouldn’t be caught dead…. naked in public. It’s not pretty anymore and I’m pretty sure I’d give some people heart attacks (not in a good way) and probably be the cause of some in mouth regurgitation! Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Don’t feel pity for me, I can get back into shape…I just gotta get working at it.
3. When I am 75 I will…. be just like Aunt Sally, she is beautiful inside and out, she lives loud and balls to the wall. She has eeked every ounce of life she can out of her 80+ years. She is my hero. When I am her age, I want to be agile, able, still driving, teasing the boys, funny, uber lovable, enjoying cocktails with my bestest friends. I want to live every single day like its my last, starting now!
4. If I had to be named after a place I would want to be named… Virginia like the gorgeous state…the place where I left a big chunk of my heart last fall.
5. My name is “Deborah” – after my Mom’s bestie- “Asuzenna” – a bastardization of my Dad’s little sister’s name Asusana. I love my name, it’s especially funny to hear the way people fuck it up. At high school graduation it was OHSUSANA, at college it was INFLUENZA, and at my wedding it was Insuzensa
.It’s Ah-SU-ZEE-NA. Now you all know.
6. My all time favorite photo is…. a photo of the Big Guy and I when we first started dating. We were both in college, terribly young and equally in love. We both have the biggest smiles on our faces. I look a that picture and I remember how very lucky I am , and all the excitement and love that I felt in that moment to be with him..that picture can carry me through the rest of my life.No matter what kind of day I have, I can look at that picture and know that somewhere in the world the most amazing man I have ever known…loves me!
The other photo I absolutely adore is one of my girls when Gabs was a week old. I love seeing Bella looking at Gabs with such love, and Gabs looking up to Bella with complete trust and adoration.
7. If I could afford it… I would pay off all of our debt and our house, then I’d pay off my parents house, and my In laws house for them.If I could afford it, none of my friends and family would want for anything and then I’d take all of our stress free asses on a vacation to Greece.
* I do normally place my blog hop badges here but for some reason BLOGGER is telling me it has some kind of form error. Sorry, I tried but with the badges, it actually won’t save the post. I’ve lost it twice already. NOT doing it again or I will have to throw this damn laptop!*
Now on to the FAWK YOUs for the week.
FAWK YOU to my beloved IMAC.Why must you decide to start flashing that blasted file folder with the question mark on it? I have no answer for you! You have left me very sad, lonely and disappointed.I’ll give you another chance, just please come back to me.sniff* sniff*
FAWK you to a really hard week of kindergarten recess in which my little one felt ‘left out’. How I friggin hate to watch my girls feelings be hurt or heart broken. SO FAWK YOU growing pains!
FAWK you to Notre Dame football traffic congesting my downtown route to Bella’s school.
FAWK you to bloggers who steal other bloggers content. Have you no original thought in your tiny brain?
FAWK YOU again for not going all single white female life stealing on my posts. Is it weird that I feel a little left out:)
FAWK you to this economy that causes the Big Guy to be in yet another state while I am left to single mother it all week. Also, economy thanks for making my girls sad and miss their daddy on a daily basis. Saying good night over the phone or SKYPE is just not the same as a good night kiss from the Big Guy!
FAWK you to feeling lonely.
FAWK you to free and easy. I think I want to do every thing hard…live, play, love, and laugh HARD!
2010/09/10
Nutrisystem Update, week 8~Hooray You: New You Revolution
HOORAY YOU! THE NUTRISYSTEM “NEW YOU REVOLUTION” BRINGS FRESH FROZEN FOOD TO ALL

Nutrisystem, Inc. (NASDAQ: NTRI), the number one home delivery weight loss company, announced today that it is revamping its programs by incorporating its highest scoring, best tasting fresh frozen gourmet foods into all of its weight loss plans at the lowest price in the Company’s history. Part of Nutrisystem’s “Hooray You! New You Revolution” initiative is to empower and celebrate the success of its members, and with these significant changes it will make Nutrisystem® weight loss programs more accessible to a wider audience than ever before. The new Nutrisystem 28-day program will now include one-third frozen foods and two-thirds of pantry foods. Additionally, the program previously cost $399 per month and it will now cost $299, including an additional free week of pantry foods, a gourmet money back guarantee and free shipping. The New Nutrisystem® Select® Plan, available only in the Continental U.S., can be purchased by calling the Nutrisystem hotline 1-800-891-3215 or logging onto www.nutrisystem.com.
“The launch of this program is a groundbreaking accomplishment for our team. Nutrisystem has now found a way to do what no other weight loss company had been able to do – and that is to provide home delivery of fresh-frozen foods at the lowest price in the category,” said Joe Redling, Chairman and CEO of Nutrisystem. “We spent the better part of the last year conducting extensive category research and, of course, listening to our own customers. The message we heard was clear and simple – they want great tasting, high quality foods at a low price with no gimmicks and no complicated plans. Through this system wide revamp I’m truly pleased that we’ll now be providing just that.”
Added Redling, “This winter season, many weight loss companies are launching new programs. We applaud those who are working hard in the fight to combat the national obesity epidemic but warn consumers to be wary of the newest fads and magic pill solutions. At Nutrisystem, our program is backed by the science of the low Glycemic Index and at a low price. We believe the solution to a healthier lifestyle can be just that simple.”
The New Nutrisystem Select
“Nutrisystem Select” offers gourmet, fresh frozen cuisine to every customer, delivered right to their doorstep. As part of the revamp of its food programs, Nutrisystem is adding new items to its menu including: Garden Vegetable Omelet, Margherita Pizza, Roasted Vegetable Pizza, Asian Style Beef, Roasted Turkey Medallions, and Orange Crème Bar.
The New Nutrisystem Select program includes:
· Free 24 hour, seven days a week phone access to nutrition support and counseling from the Nutrisystem team of registered dieticians as well as weight loss counselors
· Free membership and access to online tools, tips and community support on Nutrisystem.com
· Savings of hundreds of dollars compared to other weight loss programs
· <
/span>New – Gourmet Guarantee – money back if not completely satisfied
· New – First seven days free
· New – Transition plans to help keep you on track after reaching your goal weight
· Available for Women, Men, Silver and people with type 2 diabetes who want to lose weight via Nutrisystem D
· Nutrisystem is delivered right to the customer’s door, and free shipping is included with Auto Delivery – there’s never any center visits or calorie or carb counting required
“As the nation continues to spiral into an ever-worsening cycle of obesity, we’re taking action now that will make our weight loss programs more accessible to more Americans than ever before. When crafting this new program, we recognized that the barriers to dieting and the reasons why people fail often comes down to a matter of cost, convenience and eating foods that taste good,” said Dr. Bruce Daggy, Vice President of Research and Development of Nutrisystem. “Feedback from our members has always given the highest food ratings to our frozen foods, but cost has been a barrier. One of the most important aspects of our programs that will continue is our adherence to a balanced diet based on the low Glycemic Index. We recognize that weight loss and health is not just about counting calories. Our focus remains to support a sensible and sustainable approach to eating.”
To order the new Nutrisystem, visit www.Nutrisystem.com or call 1-800-891-3215.

DISCLOSURE: Nutrisystem is providing their program to me free of charge in exchange for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogging Program and weekly updates. I am not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed in this post are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
2010/12/30
Redbox Summer of Fun Giveaway
To celebrate summer of fun, Redbox is asking moms, “What’s your family’s favorite video game to play together?” Plus, they are rewarding 2 lucky people with a chance to win $10,000 as part of the Redbox Summer of Fun & Games Sweepstakes.
In our home, Rock Band for the PlayStation 3 reigns supreme. We have spent many a weekend playing Rock Band in our media room while laughing and having a great time making memories with our two little girls.
Redbox Summer of Fun Giveaway
Not only do we play this game with our girls, whenever we have family functions, the entire family gets in on the action.We host Thanksgiving every year and as part of the tradition, after dinner everyone heads downstairs and we select our favorite tunes and belt them out together. Our entire family, on both sides,singing, laughing and having an authentic great time together.
What’s your family’s favorite video game to play together?
It’s game time! Redbox, America’s favorite destination for movie rentals, is now renting video games in 21,000 kiosks nationwide for $2 a day. Redbox is truly a one-stop shop for affordable, family home entertainment with both games and movies.
Through the generosity of Redbox, I am giving away 3 sets of 5 game codes, all you have to do is email subscribe to The TRUTH about Motherhood and leave a comment telling me what your favorite video game is to play with your family! Contest ends Thursday June 30th at 9 pm EST. Please be sure to leave your email address so that I can contact you if you win.Good Luck!
Redbox is celebrating summer family time with a great line up of family-friendly titles, awesome savings and two chances to win $10,000 as part of the Redbox Summer of Fun & Games Sweepstakes.*
4 Easy Ways to Enter:
1. Enter your email address at www.redbox.com/summer
2. Rent a movie or game at a redbox kiosk (and provide a valid email address at checkout)
3. Reserve a rental online at redbox.com
4. Text ‘SUMMER’ to 727272
Enter to win today!
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Redbox. The opinions and text are all mine.
*Each item rented earns one entry, regardless of how long it is rented, up to three entries per day. Limit 3 entries per day, regardless of entry method. The sweepstakes begins May 27, 2011 at 12:00 a.m. CT and ends on August 1, 2011 at 11:59 p.m. CT. No purchase necessary. See official rules at www.redbox.com/summer.

2011/06/22
My Honeymoon & Wedding Day Mishaps Made Marriage Seem Easy

Happiness is….
Remember your honeymoon?
My wedding and honeymoon were 15 years ago but I remember it like it was yesterday. I’ve been helping my baby sister plan her wedding and I won’t lie it’s been taking me back to my own wedding and honeymoon. Weddings and honeymoons are all about new beginnings and starting your life and for us, a new beginning couldn’t have happened without a series of unfortunate events preceding it. Into every life a little rain must fall, of course, for me it was more like a monsoon wedding. It’s funny how when you look back you only ever remember the good parts of your wedding day.
Our mishaps began the night before the wedding; it started with a rehearsal dinner that ended up at a local club, which ended with a giant blowout between a couple in our wedding. Long story short, I spent the entire night before my wedding driving my bridesmaid around the city looking for her husband, a groomsman.
I got home around 5 am. My alarm for the biggest day of my life went off at 8 am; I woke in a hurried rush, grabbed my baby sister and the luggage under my eyes and barely made it across town to my 8:30 a.m. hair and nail appointment. Then the day just got crazier; lost bridesmaids, missing flower girl, a dad who wouldn’t take off his sunglasses, exes at the church and a bride who hadn’t eaten in 3 days and was having a full on panic attack but through it all, one thing was for certain, I knew the Big Guy was waiting for me at the end of that aisle and I couldn’t wait to be there…with him.
Father wears sunglasses in church because he’s too cool to cry in public.
At one point at the rectory, when I should have been sipping on champagne and being fawned over, I instead was struggling to find my way into my huge Cinderella-esqe dress on my own and had a mom on each butt cheek fastening my garters to my thigh highs. Talk about getting close with your mother-in-law. That was a bond sealing moment to say the very least.
Finally, I made it down the aisle but not before my ring bearer had a complete meltdown and wouldn’t walk down the aisle. 3-year-olds, what are you going to do? At that point, I was so nervous that I jumped the gun and nearly ran down the aisle into the Big Guy’s arms before my music even started playing. Just an FYI, if you ever find yourself in that situation, the organist, flutist, violinist and musician will all change their tune (quite literally) to keep up with the bride. I am sure it was amusing as an attendee.
3-year-olds are the best!
Once down the aisle, not once but three times did I almost take out the priest and entire front row of the church with my enormous gown. Think, Godzilla with a 10-foot train, in a China shop made of delicate Catholic souls. Thankfully, the presiding priest had a very in tact sense of humor and offered at one point to shear off the back of the dress to prevent any harm being done to women and small children. Thankfully, no one was hurt in the making of this wedding or honeymoon.
The groom looks debonair. The bride looks like maybe she needs to go peepee.
Of course, a bride who hasn’t eaten in 3 days, had a near miss with a panic attack and ran down the aisle as if she were Cinderella about to turn back into a pumpkin probably should not have been given celebratory cocktails. From what I remember of the evening, there was a trolley ride for the entire bridal party that included alcohol on an empty stomach, then there was an arrival to Star Wars Music (it was my one compromise) and then a bouquet thrown before anyone had a chance to take a photo (waiting is not my strong suit) and the combining of champagne glasses. Let no man put asunder what a bride has combined into champagne flutes.
No sleep, no problem. Bride takes quick nap on way to reception.

I vaguely remember it taking 4 bridesmaids to assist me in the peeing process ( 2 to hold each side of my ball gown wedding dress, one to hold my hands and balance me as I hovered over the toilet and one to pull my panties down and dab) and something about a 10 foot train that kept coming unbustled. Boy, do I have some good friends. Then it gets blurry.
Wind blown, no food and keeping it classy with a can of beer. Ain’t love grand?
Next thing I remember was leaving our reception to find our SUV saran wrapped covered in condoms, rice and Vaseline. We were in our early 20’s and apparently our friends were infantile. We had to cut our way in and then make a quick stop at a car wash before heading to our honeymoon suite at the hotel downtown. I remember doing the peepee dance in my stark white wedding dress, in front of our SUV and it’s fuzzy but it seems there was some hanging on to the bumper and trying to balance myself enough to pee while my brand spanking new husband help up 50 pounds of satin and tulle. Champagne goes right through you.
Next stop, the fancy downtown hotel. By this time, I am barefoot and running around the hotel lobby in search of a restroom large enough to accommodate my dress looking and behaving anything but fancy. My bridegroom rushed to check in before I ended up on the evening news.
Bustle broken, bride busted; time to hit the potty! NOT 1987…1999 & we partied like it was. I was scaring small children with this monstrosity of a dress.
We got up to the honeymoon suite to find more champagne and a basket full of wedding night sexiness but all I could do was the peepee dance and order my husband to get me out of the dress as quickly as possible so that I could pee in peace. Finally, I got to pee and then I promptly passed out leaving my husband to drink champagne and feed himself chocolate covered strawberries.
The next morning, I awoke to discover my wedding dress and trousseau on the floor and my overnight bag and shoes curiously missing apparently in the hurry and chaos, no one remembered to pack MY (the bride) overnight bag. There was no way that I was putting that dress back on, so I wore my husband’s (who is 6’5″ while I am a mere 5’7″) tuxedo back to my in laws house where we were opening gifts in front of friends and family before departing on our official honeymoon. I looked like the kid in Big when he changed back to a kid. It was embarrassing and ridiculous but that night we had a honeymoon reboot and it’s been awesome ever since. The rest of the honeymoon and the marriage have been easy compared to the wedding.
I guess it could have been worse; I could have gotten a UTI on our honeymoon. Yikes, that would really put a damper on romance; not exactly the type of “burning love” that I was looking forward to on my honeymoon! We know that having a lot of sex in a short period of time without letting your body recoup can cause irritation, which in turn can make it easier for you to get a UTI. Also, certain positions such as woman on top cowboy or reverse cowboy can increase the risk of contracting a UTI. Isn’t lots of sex in various positions in a short period of time the exact definition of a honeymoon?
Luckily, there is Cystex PLUS Urinary Pain Relief Tablets, an OTC UTI medication with an antibacterial agent that helps to contain the progression of infection, as well as help reduce the pain and burning sensation with an analgesic while you wait to see your physician. For recurrent UTIs, Cystex Liquid Cranberry Complex is a great-tasting, drug-free, daily supplement that is clinically proven to promote urinary health with its convenient Proantinox cranberry formula containing vitamin C!
Enter the Cystex® Romantic Night In Giveaway hosted on www.facebook.com/Cystex for three winners to have a chance to win a gourmet dinner for two delivered to your door with a gift certificate from GourmetStation.com, a $150 gift card to Victoria Secret to create more honeymoon moments and a box of Cystex® PLUS Urinary Pain Relief Tablets and Cystex® Liquid Cranberry Complex. Entry period for the Cystex® Romantic Night In Giveaway will occur from 7/24/2014-8/21/2014.
For more information about Cystex® and to learn more about burning love visit www.cystex.com
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Cystex®. The opinions and text are all mine.
2014/08/11
Everything You Need to Know about SEO Optimization to get Started
Feeling completely overwhelmed by SEO Optimization? Just starting out as a blogger and have no idea where to start with search engine optimization? I am sharing everything you need to know about SEO or everything I’ve learned in the last 3 months of conference sessions at Disney Social Media Moms Celebration and Mom 2.0. I’ve been doing this for 9 years and these sessions blew my mind.
The first rule of SEO optimization is to go for the organic traffic.
Algorithms are always changing, put your attention and time into the only thing you control, your blog. Plus, did you know that the pay is better for organic traffic?
READ ALSO: Rise of the REAL
First thing is first when you decide to sit down and figure out your SEO optimization goals and make a plan to conquer those goals, keep these things in mind. You can also go here to learn the untold secrets of SEO.
1.User Experience
As bloggers, we base a lot of things on algorithms and the Internet but your audience is human beings. Always keep that in mind. Is your site easy to navigate and find things? If not, people will leave. Also, I know you are tempted to keyword stuff so that Google sees you but then you are spammy and the humans will turn the channel so always make the humans your priority. Google will see you as authentic and rank you better. Keyword stuffing will get you a slap on the wrist from Google and you don’t want that.
2. Answer the questions your audience needs the answer to.
Be a source of good information or entertainment. Give them a reason to come back. I’m a storyteller so I’m not always telling you how to do something. Most of the time I’m sharing how I got through something; the solution that worked for me. It might not teach you how to do it but there is value in being the person who shares with you that you are not alone. It won’t make you any money but I feel good when I make people feel, in a time when they might otherwise feel alone, that I’ve been there. That kind of reach is priceless.
3. Provide useful information.
Make sure it’s useful and not just what they can already find everywhere else. According to Marketix SEO Agency, it’s highly essential that you look for keywords that are highly searched but have low to medium competition so you have a better chance of ranking. Google the topic you want to write about and see what comes up in search. See what articles are ranking in the top 10 and see how you can answer that question more efficiently or more in-depth or more specifically. Or see if you can answer a question that is not being answered.
4. Establish Domain Authority
How to grow your Domain Authority is one of the great mysteries of the Internet. It used to be easy you could check your Google Page Rank and you knew where you stood. I used to have a 6. Of course, that means nothing now, as it is no longer available. But here is how to grow your domain authority authentically.
5. Optimize old content.
Yes, remember how back in 2009 none of us knew what SEO optimization was so most of those old posts are not search engine optimized? Well, that is traffic just sitting there waiting to be activated. My old posts, those awesome evergreen ones about being a mom and raising babies are just waiting to be seen my new audience of awesome millennials.
6.New content research.
Check your reports and see what is working for your site. What are you ranking on the front page for? What low competition words can you be ranking higher for? Do more of that. I’ll share the reports to check all of this next week on a post. Make sure you come back next week. I will also put it in the newsletter this Sunday.
7. Think mobile.
Most of our audience is now mobile. Currently, about 61% of my traffic is mobile so make sure that your site is mobile friendly or people will leave. Nobody has time for a subpar experience. They will leave.
8. Consider your site speed
Same goes for your site speed. If your website takes forever to load people will bounce and go someplace where they can get the information quicker. Make sure that you are doing everything possible to make sure that page loads in a timely manner.
9. Make sure that your images are optimized and compressed.
This is no joke. Make sure that your photos are optimized for SEO to bring the traffic and compressed in size to keep the audience. There is nothing worse than photos that take forever to load. It’s annoying and, if you’re like me, I just don’t have the patience. I don’t want a surprise; I want the info I came to the site in search of. The only thing worse is self-starting video. Don’t do it.

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READ ALSO: How Mom 2.0 Renewed My Faith in Blogging and In Me
10. Last but definitely not least, run your reports to know where to focus your attention. I heard an amazing speaker at Mom 2.0 and she shared all the information on how to access and use the Google analytic reports, Googe Search Console and SEM Rush and even a secret report that I NEVER HEARD OF BEFORE. Yes, you need all of these to effectively optimize your site. These reports gave me insights into my website that I never even considered before.
Aside from just who my audience is to when they are online, what days of the week they are reading, where they are reading, what social media channels they are accessing my content and at what times. Besides just their demographics, their spending habits and where they live, these reports help me know what they want from my content. That’s not to say that I am going to change what I am going to write but it definitely makes me consider my audience and who I am talking to.
I will provide all of those steps to access those reports in a post next week on this blog but if you want it sooner, I will be including it in my newsletter this Sunday. So if you are signed up, you will get that. If not and you’d like that information sooner, please subscribe to the newsletter.
I’m doing lots of research into SEO optimization, are there any questions that you’d like me to find the answers to in my research?
2018/05/25
Vote Like Your Child’s Future Depends On It
This post was produced with support from Clean Air Moms Action. All opinions are, of course, my own.
The upcoming election has been dominated by divisive candidate issues. Believe me, many of us have lost friends and family because our politics simply cannot reconcile themselves but there’s one thing that we should all be able to agree on: harmful pollution, climate change, and toxic chemicals are putting our families at risk and it doesn’t have to be that way. Whether you’re a liberal or a conservative, every one of us lives on this planet and, I hope, everyone of us wants to take care of it so it’s still around for our children and our children’s children.
When I think about the future, I immediately think about my daughters. The future is not some obscure thing that will happen to me. Since becoming a mom, everything I do is directly in relation to how it will affect my children and that means I have no choice but to be the change. It’s my job to be their advocate, to make sure that they are healthy and happy and, for me, that means making sure that they have clean air to breathe.
A few weeks ago, the news reported that safe carbon levels in the earth’s atmosphere were a thing of the past. We officially passed the point of no return, 400 parts per million, where the earth’s climate was concerned. The low point of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere typically occurs around the last week of September but this year, levels failed to drop below 400 ppm.
Why’s that a big deal? The 400 ppm mark is considered the red line in the sand and crossing it poses dangerous climate ramifications. Right now we’re at 400 ppm, and we’re adding 2 ppm of carbon dioxide to the atmosphere every year. Unless we are able to change things and turn that around and return to below 350 ppm this century, we risk triggering tipping points and irreversible impacts that will send climate change spinning beyond our control. It will be catastrophic.
To reverse the damage and do some Superman/ Wonder Woman like planet saving, here are three areas we need to focus our attention towards.
CLEAN AIR. Air pollution from fossil fuels leads to bad air quality in too many communities. Increases in smog can trigger asthma attacks and exacerbate other chronic health problems. Do not let your child’s health be voted away to protect polluters’ profits. Instead, VOTE to protect little lungs from toxic air pollution.
CLIMATE CHANGE. The same harmful pollution that is making our children sick is causing rising temperatures and extreme weather events. Our changing climate is making smog worse. It increases respiratory health threats, particularly for people with allergies and asthma. Also, intense heat waves exacerbate heart and lung conditions. VOTE for candidates who support proposals to cut methane emissions from the oil and gas industry. And vote to put our country on a clean energy path while protecting American jobs!
TOXIC CHEMICALS. Dangerous chemicals are found in our daily lives. They often enter our homes and bodies without our realizing it. In fact, these chemicals may not even have been disclosed, identified or studied. Thousands of toxic chemicals found in everyday products are linked to potential reproductive and developmental toxicity, endocrine disruption, birth defects, cancer, asthma, headaches and skin irritants. Children are among the most vulnerable to such chemicals.
It really hit home for me when my 9-year-old came to me with tears in her eyes and asked me, “Mommy will the air last long enough for me to grow up?” That broke my heart because while the answer is yes ( just), I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I have no idea what the air we breathe will be like for her children and grandchildren. I can’t make her any guarantees. We’ve ignored the warnings for far too long and now, it falls on our shoulders to literally save the planet for our children.
Unfortunately, harmful pollution, climate change and toxic chemicals are putting our precious children at risk. It doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way. This doesn’t mean there’s no hope. We just need to collectively get involved, care and make changes. It starts with each one of us.
On election day your vote can elect candidates who care about these issues. If for nothing else, please vote as if your child’s health depends on it. Because it does. Take the pledge and commit yourself to voting for your child’s future.
This fall Clean Air Moms Action is traveling the country with a documentary film crew capturing the stories of parents who are fighting daily to protect their children’s health effects of exposure to oil & gas productions, high-tide flood waters, and ground water contamination from coal ash waste sites.
You can see more videos like this on the Clean Air Moms Action YouTube page
Please join me in working together to move clean energy forward in the US. by joining the fight to protect our children at cleanairmomsaction.org.
Next Tuesday, your vote will tell leaders that you care about protecting our children from the harmful effects of toxic air pollution. The same harmful pollution that is making our children sick is causing rising temperatures and extreme weather. It’s our job as parents to protect our babies and their futures.
Join me by voting. Research candidates with a good record on the environment and vote for them. Join the #CleanAirMomsVote selfie project. Print out the Because I Love sign, fill in the blank, and post it to social media with the hashtag #CleanAirMomsVote
Learn more on the Clean Air Moms Action website, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Follow the hashtag #CleanAirMomsVote

2016/11/03
Back-to-School ~Stop that Train, I Want to Get Off
It’s back-to-school already! My girls start back to school in a couple days and I am decidedly simultaneously ecstatic and sad about back-to-school. Last year, my baby entered kindergarten and while trepedatious I was completely ecstatic to have the day to myself for the first time in 7 years. Then on the first day of school, I was promptly grief stricken. Alone. Crying because I was alone. What the hell was wrong with me? My baby was gaining independence at lightening speed and her childhood was a runaway train. Stop.that.train!
I should have been dancing around the house in my undies, playing air guitar and celebrating my hard earned freedom. Instead, I sat on my couch looking out the window sobbing at my computer, counting the minutes until my babies were back in my arms; the very place from which I was pushing them out the door that morning. The duplicitous of motherhood; it’s enough to make you crazy.
This year is different. I know they are both going to school. I know they both love it and I know their teachers. There is nothing scary about this year. Only the summer went by way too fast and now, I am regretting all the lost moments that I should have spent enjoying my children instead of swatting them away and shooing them into another room so that I could complete my work. It sucked. I sucked and I have the guilt to prove it.
This summer did serve one purpose though, it has taught me to appreciate the moments and to know that next summer, work will have to wait. My girls will always come first. You know the nature of my business is to be a mommy. I write about being a mom in all of it’s many facets. So, when I am doing a shitty job of it; being a mom, not writing about being a mom, it makes me feel like a fraud because in the end, I want to be great mom not a great writer writing about being a mom. So, this summer has taught me some things. The most important being that childhood is fleeting and the older my girls get, the faster the summers go.
It’s like life is this crazy carnival ride we are on together and it just keeps speeding up. It goes by so fast some times that I feel like I just might get sick. Wasn’t it just year that my daughters were born? Wasn’t it just a few months ago that they learned to talk and walk and say “ I Love you”? Where did the time go?
My oldest is 8 and almost as tall as I am. She is becoming such a beautiful and amazing young lady; full of personality and wit. She’s thoughtful and caring and I see sincerity and loyalty in her eyes. Her thoughts and opinions are no longer something I told her, she is forming her own beliefs. I can still see the cherubesque little face I once held in my arms as she looked up at me like I was her everything but it is evolving into the woman she will someday be and it will be here before you know it.
My 6-year-old is funny, silly, beautiful and charming. Her passion and fierce convictions about life teeter on scaring me at times. She has been and will always be an ask permission later kind of child. She’s still small enough to cuddle up into my lap and she loves to cuddle with me at night. I should be forcing her to sleep in her bed alone but, my God, in no time she will not need or want me to cuddle her to sleep. So, I take it all in sucking every bit of marrow out of their childhood. I want to linger awhile and watch them sleep, listen to them speak and truly hear what they are saying.
School starts back on Wednesday and I am going to make today and tomorrow count because once these last days of summer vacation are gone, they are gone forever. Moments in life cannot be DVRed and rewound, they have to be lived while they are happening or they are lost forever. Stop. This. Train. I want to get off.
What are you going to miss the most when your children go back to school?
2013/08/12
Raising Teen Girls to Survive Misogyny, Sexting and Slut Shaming

The things we have to talk to our children and teens about these days is intense. I never remember my mom talking to me directly about misogyny, slut shaming, rape or even consent. She definitely didn’t talk to me about sexting because it didn’t exist. I remember my dad adamantly telling me to respect myself and my body and to stand up for myself. Maybe that was the 80’s version of the same thing I’m talking to my girls about. My dad has a black belt in karate and he taught us all how to throw a punch so maybe he was prepping me for the real world, in his own indirect way.
I grew up and knew that I wanted to have a very open dialogue with my children, especially when they hit those difficult, awkward teen years. By the way, all kids are awkward at this age so it’s not just your kid. They all need a little TLC during the teen years when they can sometimes be at their most unlovable. Just remember all of that angst is probably masking insecurity.
READ ALSO: Parent Guide to Teen Slang Words
Lately, I’ve had to have some very direct conversations that I never thought I’d have to have. The two I most thought I’d never have to have a direct conversation about are misogyny (it’s not you, it is definitely them) and slut-shaming (it’s never ok to be a part of that problem). Thanks to modern politics and the trickle-down effect, it has had on our community, it’s been necessary to explain to my daughters that it’s never ok for any man to treat you like you are a less valuable human being because of what’s between your legs.
Women are 100% equal to men, as we are all human beings. The only thing that elevates a person’s worth in the world is the way in which they conduct themselves and interact with others. We should be measured by our contributions, not our sex.
Thanks to a prevalent case of moral superiority that seems to permeate the circle they have found themselves surrounded by, I’ve had to jump to the rescue of strangers for making questionable moral choices. At this age, everyone is a critic and the higher the number of kids judging, the worse the criticism. I’ve always told my girls that they should live their own best lives and do good in the world but we don’t judge others because their life choices are between them, their conscience and their God.
READ ALSO: When Misogyny Speaks the World Listens
Do I want my daughters to grow up and make questionable moral choices? Of course not, but do I want them to live a full life? Yes. So maybe that means they make some choices that I wouldn’t make or they take chances that I would have discouraged them from making. Will we always see eye to eye? Definitely not. My girls have free will and I wouldn’t change that.
I’m not particularly excited about watching them fail or get hurt and I will always be there to pick up the pieces and kiss the booboos, no matter how old they get, but I can’t live their life for them. This is why we have to have the hard talks. This is why I’ve been talking to my girls about sex, misogyny, and respecting themselves and their bodies since they were toddlers. You have to start these conversations when they are young.
We’re at a particularly uneasy part of childhood; the part where they are not quite children and not quite adults. They are naïve, hearts wide open, full of hormone fluctuations and walking around looking like adults.
Ever wonder why our teens make the choices they do? Something, not so much shocking as unexpected, happened at my daughters’ school recently and I found myself shocked that in this day and age a kid would make this poor choice because I thought all of us were having the same conversations with our kids. I sometimes forget how new the Internet really is. Sexting happened.
READ ALSO: Who is Protecting Our Daughters
Maybe it’s because I work in social media but my kids have known since before they were in school that the Internet is forever. Anything can be screenshot. Not everyone is who they appear to be online. Don’t measure your worth by how many likes, follows and “friends” you have. It’s all a smoke show. It’s fake and not seated in reality. But above all, it is forever and like the angry ghost of a crazy ex, it can haunt you forever so make good choices kids. Not all parents have this conversation even once with their children.
My girls have both had smartphones with parental controls since they were 9-years-old. We openly monitor their activity. We check their phones. They are only allowed an Instagram and Pinterest account, which they share. The accounts are monitored. Everything they post is monitored. There is no Finsta. I check their DMs. I block people. We’ve not made it taboo but the girls know that any time we could be watching so all I ask is that they respect themselves and not say anything on the Internet that they’d be embarrassed for their grandfathers to see.
Back to this sexting situation. A girl in 8^th grade sent explicit unsolicited photos of herself to a boy she liked. He told his mom but not before consulting his friend. He sent the picture to his friend and the friend sent it to a group chat. The mom went to the school to tell on the girl. The police are now involved because this is the distribution of pornography involving a minor. As if this is not horrible enough of a situation, the 8th-grade girls are shunning her and one girl pointed at her in the presence of my daughter and called her a “slut.”
READ ALSO: Good Girls and Double Standards
My daughter shut it down because I’ve taught my girls that we never slut shame. It’s not our business to judge anyone, especially another woman, because of a momentary lapse in judgment or even if someone outright chooses to be promiscuous. I feel bad for this girl. She has to live with this choice and I’m sure that’s not easy. I’m not sure how you recover from something like this in a Catholic school where everything they do is seeping with moral superiority and virtue.
For me, I don’t understand why she chose to do this but maybe her parents never explained that anything you put out into the world digitally lives on forever. Maybe she was just so desperate for the attention that her judgment was clouded. Or maybe she just didn’t fully realize the weight of her actions until after she hit send. Either way, she made a choice and now, unfortunately, it will follow her.
I’d also like to point out that we live in a world where girls feel like they need to share these kinds of photos to capture a guy’s attention. Girls are objectified from very young ages. She’s not the only one who participated in this situation, she may have sent the photos but the boy could have deleted them. He didn’t need to share them with anyone and the kid who shared those private photos with the entire group chat, in my opinion, is the most culpable.
READ ALSO: Love Letter to My Daughter
My girls were shocked by the behavior of the girl who sent the texts, the boys who shared them and the girls who are now doing the shunning. My oldest is feeling disillusioned by her friends. But I explained to her that these are just growing pains and it’s also a good dose of reality and a lesson in consequences.
Like my dad, I am saying to my girls respect yourselves, do good, make good choices and stand up for what you believe. Misogyny and slut shaming may be something our society tolerates but it doesn’t have to be. It starts with individuals choosing to do better, choosing kindness and compassion over judgment and cruelty. As parents, we need to remember that even when our teens don’t want us, they still need us and we need to see past their eye-rolling and exasperation and step in if necessary. They’ll get over it.
How do you teach your girls to survive sexting, slut-shaming and misogyny?
2019/02/18
Are Gucci Sunglasses Worth the Price Tag?
Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
Do you love brand name and designer clothing, accessories and shoes? Be honest, do you want them because you genuinely love them or is it more of a status symbol, like in middle school? Hey, I’m not belittling your “why”, I’m just asking. If we’re telling truths, and I usually am, brands matter to me. I don’t choose a product because you’ve slapped a fancy name like Versace, Prada, Dior or Gucci on it. But I do love these brands.
I don’t like it because my favorite celebrities rock it or some rapper is singing about it. BTW, no child should be rocking Gucci on the regular, though I was completely fine with mine rocking Burberry. Hey, a woman’s got to have her limits. The point is I like the quality behind the label. If you know me, you’ve probably heard me say, “I’d rather pay $200 or even $500 for a pair of jeans that I’ll wear every day than $50 for a pair that I’ll never wear because then I threw $50 in the trash.”
This is how I came to know the answer to the question, ” Are Gucci sunglasses worth the price tag?”
For me, the answer didn’t come right away. I love big, beautiful sunglasses. I collect them. They protect my eyes from the sun and they protect my face from wrinkles. I’ve been rocking sunglasses since before it was cool to do so. But other than a pair of Oakly sunglasses the Big Guy bought me back when we first started dating, I’ve never owned or paid more than $75 for sunglasses.
READ ALSO: How to Have a Designer Wardrobe on a Mom Budget
Once I became a mom, forget about it. For one, babies like to pull sunglasses off your face to see their mommy and throw those suckers to the ground. I can’t tell you how many pairs of beloved sunglasses were thrown to the pavement and scratched beyond repair. Sure, I tried to wear them but they were essentially making my blind. I resigned myself to the fact that I couldn’t have nice things (unless it was jewelry, bags or shoes) and there started my tenure as queen of the under $25 sunglasses. I just couldn’t risk it.

But are Gucci sunglasses for women worth the price tag?
Once again, the Big Guy gifted me my first pair of Gucci sunglasses for our anniversary last year. He knew I needed new sunglasses and he knew I liked them big and beautiful and he is sort of a sunglasses for men connoisseur himself so he got them for me. It surprised me because I totally wasn’t expecting them but really wanted them. I just can’t make myself spend $300 + dollars on Gucci sunglasses ( or any other women sunglasses for that matter). Buying for others is not an issue but for myself, I need a steep markdown (because there is always something else that I can spend the money on). It’e the mom guilt. We don’t allow ourselves these little pleasures.
READ ALSO: How to Teach Teenage Girls to Put on Makeup
I love third markdown designer everything. There is some sort of satisfaction that comes from knowing you got a quality ( not irregular or last season) piece of clothing, shoes, accessories or handbags for a reduced price. Fortunately, the Big Guy is not as frugal as I am. That’s how I got these amazing sunglasses.
Yes, Gucci Sunglasses are worth the price tag!
But why, Debi? Why are Gucci women sunglasses worth the price tag? Why would anyone pay $300 + dollars for women sunglasses, men sunglasses or Gucci sunglasses when that could pay for 2 weeks of groceries? Because you can’t get the groceries if you can’t see to drive to the grocery store. You can wreck when you are being blinded by the sun. You will get wrinkles if you try to squint through life while looking into the sun. Guess what costs more than $300? BOTOX!
You’re shaking your head and thinking to yourself, how wasteful to spend that kind of money for sunglasses. I would have agreed with you 2 weeks ago but then one morning I drove home from dropping the kids off at school and I looked directly into the sun…like Wonder Woman and I was unaffected. Nobody was blinded. I did not squint or swerve. I looked directly in the direction I needed to without any squinting or wincing. Looking life right in the eyes is empowering and that is priceless.
READ ALSO: Why Mom Guilt is Useless
While I never would have bought them for myself and I hardly even wore them for months because it felt embarrassing to be so opulent in my everyday life. Just like I feel like a jerk every time I carry the Louis Vuitton the Big Guy me a few years ago for an anniversary. Then it hit me. I deserve nice things. And it’s only wasteful if I don’t use these things. If I wear my Gucci sunglasses every day, for drop-offs and picks ups to school and ballet; in yoga pants and cocktail dresses, then I’ve used them $300 worth and so I am.
So, yes Gucci sunglasses are worth the price tag because I’m worthy of nice things and so are you. Buy the Gucci, buy the Louis, buy the Louboutins and the Chanel….just make sure that you have the money to buy the groceries too.
What is your favorite designer brand piece of fashion that you own or have dreamed of owning? Why and what makes it special to you? Now, go treat yo self!

2019/04/15
What did you say, Willis?
So, tonight the girls and I are walking around Target buying such lovely things as toilet paper,anti-wrinkle cream, night time diapers; you know, usual Mommy stuff. Anyways, my girls love Target ( probably because every single time we walk out of that place, of the mandatory $80 that I spend, at least half of it is on something for them). They get in there and it’s like the oxygen is enhanced with sugar because my girls are talking mile a minute and have an energy of which I’ve not seen the likes since my early 20’s….way before life had beat me into submission. So I say to them , ” Girls, cool your jets ( no idea why I’ve turned into my mother and say things like this and stuffed to the gills but I do and quite often). Apparently that is not what my 2 year old, aka the Parrot, heard. I know this because she promptly started screaming , at the top of her lungs no less, ” Girls, pull your tits!!!”WTF? I wasn’t sure if I should break into tears or laughter. My only saving grace was that she didn’t actually try to follow said instructions .Oh My, you never really know what they actually hear.
-Truthful Mommy xoxo
2010/04/05