The TRUTH About Motherhood

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My Father the Immigrant
Ever wonder why an immigrant, illegal or otherwise, really comes to the United States willing to risk his life? Maybe that question is too big, maybe we narrow it down, ever wonder why my dad came to the United States? Contrary to popular belief, it’s not to take anything from you.It’s more about admiration of the freedoms we have and the will to succeed; to achieve the American dream. The freedom to work hard and get ahead in life.
Then ask yourself, if you were desperate, and your child’s life depended on you doing something dangerous, would you do it? What if it were illegal? What if you needed to fast track things in order to save a life? Would you do it? I think we all know the answer is yes. we’d do anything for our children.
I’ve heard a lot of discussions online about immigrants and why many Americans don’t want immigrants here in the United States. People are talking about immigrants like they are not humans but has anyone ever just asked a real, live immigrant,
Hey, immigrant why are you here?
If you are not an immigrant, or the son or daughter of an immigrant, or the friend or loved one of an immigrant, maybe you just don’t know and I’m sure it is different for every single person. But I’m happy to share with you my immigrant story. How this freckled Mexican was born on the right side of the wall.
I’ve been quick to judge all of you. I was only seeing things from my perspective, the daughter of an immigrant; a first generation Mexican-American. I never even considered that there are actually people who don’t even personally know any Mexicans. They know of us, apparently our reputation precedes us, but they don’t “know us”; know us.
They’ve not grown up with us; eaten dinner at our home, been welcomed by my interracial couple parents and been kissed on the cheek and treated like family. They’ve not had the pleasure of hearing my dad, in his thick Spanish accent, look them in the eye, give them a firm hand shake ( even the most down trodden of our neighbors) and say, “Good to see you, buddy!” Never seen the way family is more than the people you share a last name with; never been willing to risk everything for those people.
They’ve never heard my dad sing Happy Birthday, Las Mananitas and You are my sunshine to my daughters every birthday or seen him grab them and start dancing with them whenever he hears music. They’ve never seen his giant smile and the way he says, “Sonofagun” any time his grandchildren do almost anything because he is so in awe of them.
They don’t know that my dad used to bring homeless people home for dinner that he’d see on his walk home from mass. My mom wasn’t too keen on this practice but that’s the type of guy he is. When he wants to, he’ll give you the jacket off his back if you need it more than he does. He’s the man who wore sunglasses when he walked me down the aisle so no one would see him cry, when he gave me away.
Don’t get me wrong, if you’re a long time reader of this blog you know that my dad is not perfect. He’s made mistakes but he’s also never been a drug dealer, a rapist or a murderer.
He simply falls into the immigrant category because he was born someplace else.
He’s the kind of man who has played the guitar in the church choir since I was a kid. He’s the guy who stopped drinking and now, devotes most of his retirement to not only staying sober but keeping others sober. But he is Mexican. He’s lived in the United States longer than he ever lived there. This is his home but Mexico is where he was born. Mexico is where part of my roots begin.
When all of the political mudslinging started during the campaign, I felt personally attacked because my dad is an immigrant and even though he is not perfect, he has always been a contributing member of society and he raised us to work hard, trust in God and respect our government.
Just because someone is an immigrant, doesn’t mean they are a bad person.
It just means they weren’t born here. They chose to come here. They choose America.
He’s a good man; a good Christian man who reads the bible daily, who has been married to the same woman for 44 years, who has raised 6 children and paid taxes to a country that he loves. The kind of man who plays in the sprinkler with his grandchildren. The kind of man who doesn’t want fame and fortune, he only wanted to be able to give his unborn children a better life than he had; maybe a house without dirt floors, maybe a life where the struggle wasn’t so real.
When people bad mouth immigrants, I take it personally. I feel like the country and the government that my dad loves so much, that we’ve been raised to believe is the best in the world, hated him simply for the color of his skin and by association me, my brothers and sisters and our children; the most precious thing in our lives; family.
The will to succeed is always welcome here.
Those were the words at the end of the Lumber 84, full 6-minute commercial, the one thought to be too controversial for a commercial during the Super Bowl. Those words spoke to me because I was raised by an immigrant who taught me to believe in myself and to know that where there is a will, there is always a way. My father is legal, but is that really relevant to the man he is?
That is all that my immigrant father wanted. The chance to be a member of our society; a chance to give his children a better life. He doesn’t hate Americans. He loves everything about this country. So what are we all so afraid of?
There’s been some confusion about the true meaning behind this commercial. I saw it as a beautiful thing but it seems I didn’t realize that a mother and daughter making their way to a better life is only beautiful if you come through the door. If you can’t find the door, I guess you’re just supposed to give up and live the life you’re doomed to live and I guess, according to Lumber 84, we’re all supposed to be okay with that.
Tomorrow, Desierto is released on DVD, I highly recommend that you watch it then maybe you’ll see why immigrants are more afraid of you than you should be afraid of them.
What’s the difference between the European immigrants that founded this country hundreds of years ago and the Mexican and Muslim immigrants who are trying to make a better life for their children now, besides the color of their skin? Then again, I guess it’s always been hard for immigrants.
What is the difference between an immigrant and you or I, besides a piece of paper?
2017/02/06
The Cruel Reality: ICE Targeting Immigrant Children for Deportation Under the Guise of “Welfare”
Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
As the daughter of an immigrant and a mom, watching Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents conduct so-called “welfare checks” on unaccompanied immigrant children makes my blood boil. What’s presented as concern for child safety is revealed through internal documents to be something far more sinister: a coordinated effort to deport vulnerable children and criminalize the family members legally caring for them. ICE targeting immigrant children is wrong on every level. They’re children; regardless of color or race, it’s our responsibility to care for children.
The Truth Behind ICE’s “Welfare Checks”
Recent reports have confirmed that ICE is actively seeking out unaccompanied immigrant children in nationwide operations. While the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) claims these visits are benevolent “welfare checks” meant to “ensure that they are safe and not being exploited,” an internal ICE document obtained by the National Immigration Project tells a different story.
The document explicitly shows that ICE officials are gathering intelligence to determine whether these children are “flight risks” or “threats to public safety.” Evaluating deportation possibilities, and looking for ways to pursue criminal cases against both the children and their sponsors. This isn’t protection—it’s persecution.
Michelle Méndez, director of legal resources and training for the National Immigration Project, called it what it is: “backdoor family separation.” The government is weaponizing these children’s vulnerability to target entire immigrant communities.
ICE targeting immigrant children for deportation is fucking bullshit. People are not “illegal,” especially in a country stolen from the indigenous and built on the backs of brown and black people.
Let’s be crystal clear about what’s happening: this administration is deliberately traumatizing children who have already endured unimaginable hardships. Many of these kids fled violence, poverty, and persecution, traveling thousands of dangerous miles alone in search of safety. They’ve been processed through our immigration system. Placed with vetted sponsors (often family members), and are working through their legal cases as required by our laws.
Now, ICE agents are showing up at their homes, terrifying them with threats of deportation or criminal charges. A 16-year-old girl in Washington state was so frightened during one of these “welfare checks” that she desperately messaged her legal representative, afraid her life would be “flipped upside down.” This isn’t protecting children—it’s traumatizing them.
Systemic Attacks on Vulnerable Communities
These operations don’t exist in isolation. They’re part of a broader pattern of attacks on immigrant communities:
1. Legal services for unaccompanied minors have been slashed, despite court intervention
2. The Office of Refugee Resettlement (ORR) has resumed sharing sensitive data about children and their sponsors with ICE
3. The current acting director of ORR is Angie Salazar, a former ICE agent
4. Children with alleged “gang ties” are being targeted using flimsy evidence under the rarely-used 1798 Alien Enemies Act
The concept of “backdoor family separation” is just a way to use immigrant people’s love for their children to threaten them. No Latino is ever leaving their child behind. These are human beings, and the U.S. government is treating them like property, completely dehumanizing these parents and their children in order for fellow Americans to condone this mass deportation of brown people. It’s a crime against humanity. Americans, we need to do what’s right even when its hard.
The Human Impact
For families caring for these children, these operations create an atmosphere of constant fear. Sponsors who went through extensive background checks and vetting processes to legally care for these children now face potential arrest and deportation for doing exactly what the government asked them to do. WTF? It feels like a trap and serves as a threat to others; stand down or you too might get illegally deported.
Shaina Aber, executive director of the Acacia Center for Justice, expressed her distress: “The amount of trauma that this administration seems willing to put kids through is really upsetting.”
Samuel Smith, director of immigrant legal aid at Manzanita House, described the terrified 16-year-old girl who contacted him during an ICE visit: “Both the text messages sent and the tone of communication when talking on the phone, was of a child who was incredibly scared. She had no idea what was going on and was worried that her life would be flipped upside down.”
A Personal Perspective
As someone who grew up watching my immigrant parent navigate this country’s complicated and often hostile systems, I understand the constant fear that comes with being seen as “other.” The worry that a knock on the door might mean your family being torn apart. The vigilance required to survive in a system designed to exclude you. In this political climate, even when you’ve done everything right and are here with proper paperwork, you still carry with you that feeling of being vulnerable and scared.
These children have done nothing wrong. They are following the legal processes established by our own government. Their sponsors—often family members who simply want to provide a safe home—are being criminalized for acts of love.
There’s a particular cruelty in targeting children. They are the most vulnerable and the least able to advocate for themselves. They’re the most likely to suffer lasting trauma from these experiences. ICE is deliberately exploiting this vulnerability.
What This Really Means
Let’s be honest about what’s happening here ICE is targeting immigrant children. This isn’t about protecting children. If it were, we’d be investing in their legal representation and their education. We’d care about their mental health services, and their successful integration into communities.
Instead, this administration has cut legal services and appointed former ICE officials to lead the agency responsible for these children’s care. The intent is clear: to use fear as a deterrent. They want to make examples of these children. Advancing a political agenda that views certain immigrants as inherently undesirable.
As Americans, we must ask ourselves: Is this who we want to be? A nation that terrorizes children? That separates families? That punishes acts of love and compassion?
For the daughter of an immigrant watching this unfold, the answer is a resounding “hell no”. We must be and do better than this. These children deserve better than this. Our shared humanity demands it.
2025/04/29
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2018/05/24
How to Survive Back-to-School Shopping with Your Sanity in Tact
Disclosure: This back-to-school post was sponsored by Target but my love of all things Target are all my own.
Today, I got the email that our school supply list is ready and waiting. How can it be that it’s almost time for back-to-school already? It’s already time to hit Target with my school supply list in hand and start my annual “crazed mom on a mission” scavenger hunt for just the right supplies.
As a child, back-to-school was a favorite time of year for me. I loved the smell of new folders; the chance to shine my personality through with a new Unicorn Trapper Keeper and, of course, back-to-school clothes shopping was my favorite thing to do.
But as a parent, it’s a little different. Every August, I know it’s time to let go just a little bit more. With each passing new beginning, I am painfully aware that I have one less school year with my child. I’m sad about the letting go but so proud of their achievements so I try to make every back-to-school special.
My daughters see things completely different, they are ecstatic about the chance to see their friends again and, even though they won’t admit it, we all look forward to the return of our routine. The new school year is also a chance to reinvent themselves, as far as style and personality are concerned. There’s just one small problem – my girls wear uniforms. But we never let something like school uniform restrictions stop us from letting our personality shine through.
My girls have to wear school-mandated pants, shorts, polos and skirts or jumpers. There is no wiggle room here. This is an absolute. Even a rogue button or pocket is a violation of dress code and can warrant disciplinary actions, so we stay within the uniform guidelines but when it comes to socks, shoes, belts, jewelry, hair baubles, coats and school supplies, that is where the girls can pick what they want. My girls live for shopping for these pieces.
Lucky for us, Target sells uniform pieces and when it comes to accessorizing and dressing up lockers and school supplies, they’ve got that covered too. Talk about one-stop shopping.
While my oldest is excited about shopping for socks, shoes, belts, jewelry, hair baubles and coats to let her real style shine through. She also can’t wait to find the perfect outfit for the first dress down day of the year because it lets everyone know what her “real” style is and when you wear uniforms every day of the year, this is a really big deal.
My youngest, however, is really excited about the Frozen licensed products available this year. Target has Frozen pencils, composition books, notebooks, folders, backpacks and lunch bags. They also have a great selection of Star Wars, Avengers and Minions products for this year’s back-to-school. If you have to buy school supplies anyways, why not get your favorite characters to make it a little more fun?
A few friendly tips that have helped my family get through back-to-school shopping and actually enjoy it:
Start shopping as soon as the school supply list becomes available if you don’t want to end up frustrated with all the masses that waited until the last minute. Been there, done that. Not doing it again.
Go early in the day so the kids are not tired, cranky or wanting to be someplace else.
Feed everyone before you start shopping. Hangry and shopping do not pair well together.
Go with an open heart and mind and let your child allow their personality to shine through. It might just be socks or a folder to you but to your child, it might mean everything.
Enjoy every second of it because it all goes by too quickly. Take the chance to make it a day of bonding with your children. We make a day of it with our girls.
Target always makes it easy for our family to head back to school. This is why Target is my first choice for shopping for all the things my family needs. This year won’t be any different.
How are you preparing for back-to-school this year?
2015/08/06
What Makes a Father and How to Be a Good Dad?
Today is Father’s Day. When you think of the word father, you think of the man who gave you life. But really, a father is something much more than that, if you’re lucky. What makes a father? More importantly, how do you know how to be a good dad? A father is someone who loves you at your worst, someone who shows up every single day, even when it’s harder than anyone could have ever anticipated.
I think in a lot of ways; men are given hall passes on their responsibility as a parent. It’s like we’ve lowered the bar so far we don’t even know what makes a father anymore and no one is teaching men how to be a good dad. I’m not even blaming the men. I’m blaming society as a whole. Somewhere along the way, it became acceptable to do the bare minimum and still hold the title of father. A lot of dads just accepted the status quo. Maybe they didn’t know any better or maybe it was all of those pats on the back for taking care of their own children.
READ ALSO: Happy Father’s Day
What is a father? A father is defined as a male parent but to be a good dad includes behaving paternally. Instinctually putting your child before yourself. Prioritizing their happiness and well-being above your own sometimes. We should celebrate these dads every day of the year, not just on Father’s Day. It’s about more than gifts, it’s about appreciating all that they do.
Today, I wish a Happy Father’s Day to all the involved fathers.
There are a lot of great dads out there. Men who constantly show up and are there for their children and partners all the time. Men who embrace the title and feel privileged to be a part of their children’s lives. Men who do everything possible to create a better world for their children. I hope there are more of those dads than there are men who contribute to the genetic makeup of their children and think that’s where fatherhood ends.
I’d like to say a special Happy Father’s Day to my husband, the Big Guy, for being the best father and husband anyone could ever want. He is 100% my partner in parenting. There is nothing I can do that he can’t do for our girls, well, with the exception of gestating them but then again, he is the husband who had sympathetic symptoms and weight gain so he tried. All kidding aside, I know that we are lucky because he is a kind and good man at his core.
He shows up when he’s exhausted and weary. Woke up many a night with our newborns, paced the floor with a colicky baby and held toddlers with nightmares of chickens and lemurs. The Big Guy does what needs to be done even when he doesn’t want to. He’s selfless and caring. His family always comes first and even though he and I had different upbringings and came from different cultures, he saw how important family was to me and he embraced it all.
This is what makes a father.
He drives on long road trips so that he can show his girls the world. He treats them (and me) we unconditional love and respect so that they can see what a relationship is supposed to look/feel like. He holds them when they’re sad, listens when the world is hard and confusing, hears the things that go unsaid and makes them smile when they are sad. The Big Guy tries new things and goes out of his comfort zone so that our girls won’t be afraid to spread their wings and fly someday. His love knows no bounds.
He’s driven to and attended countless ballet classes, recitals and performances. The Big Guy has worked backstage and volunteered to do things most dads would emphatically refuse. He’s been there for Robotics, soccer, gymnastics, violin and cheerleading. Helps with homework and hugs them when they’ve had a hard day. Listens to them gossip about school and talk about boys. Holds their hair when they’re sick, keeps them calm when they need shots and laughs the loudest when they are funny (even when it’s not funny). He builds them up so no one else can knock them down.
READ ALSO: A Baby Changes Everything
The Big Guy spoils them and makes them feel special because they are his girls. He encourages them and supports them in all that they’ve ever wanted to try or shown interest in. He is a cheerleader and a coach. He’s a soft place to land when the world knocks them down. He is so much more than words can say. They call him daddy, Papi and papa and he is all of that and more.
Wondering how to be a good dad?
I am so happy that my daughters have such an amazing man as their father; a man who comes home from a long day at work and still musters the energy to play for hours with the girls. A man who listens quietly as they recount the most inane teenage drama there ever way. A father who doesn’t try to fix everything and knows when to just hear you. He makes 3 am runs for Tylenol and 6 am runs for cupcakes for school, rides your favorite roller coaster with you 15 times in a row and watches your favorite cartoon until you tire of it. He does all of this and never complains. This is love. This is what I wish for every child.
Happy Father’s Day to our Big Guy. We love you so much and we see you. We see all that you do for your family. We see the sacrifices that you make and we feel the love you give every single day. You are the best man we could have ever hoped to share our lives with.
Love you to the moon and back and to infinity and beyond!
XOXO Your Girls
2019/06/16
Father’s Day Gifts that Every Dad will Love
Can you believe Father’s Day is just around the corner? It kind of snuck up on us, to be honest. What with the coronavirus pandemic, not knowing what day, week or month it is and being fully emerged in the fight for equality, things have been upended here and the new normal is absolutely not normal but the Big Guy really is one hell of a dad and husband so I really wanted to make Father’s Day special for him.
READ ALSO: What Makes a Good Father and How to Be a Good Dad
But what do you get the man who has everything? It’s not like when the girls were little, no one is having to wait months on end to try to piece together a free night out or save up for a new video game. Let’s be honest, we’ve all been quarantined for the last 4 months so we’ve pretty much been doing as we pleased…well, within the confines of our house because who’s going out? Maybe a cool new mask that’s better suited for the summer months, just to say we care. You’re not alone in this quandary.
Father’s Day Gifts that every dad will love
1. Well, he’s the dad of a couple of teenage girls so first on the list is no bickering. Like seriously, we love these girls more than life itself but when they start bickering with one another, it pretty much sounds like cats screeching their nails down a chalkboard. So silence could definitely be a gift.
2. But that’s probably not going to happen because they are my children and we’re talkers what can I say. So maybe we use the words for good instead of evil and tell the man how much he means to us. The girls can make cards and tell the man how great he is. Me, I’ve got this here blog that I’ve been cultivating for 11 years so here goes (I’m using my words)
Babe, you are the wind beneath my wings. Honestly, as cheesy as it sounds, you elevate me and me and give my soul, my heart and my mind the freedom and support to fly. You are the best husband and father anyone could have ever asked for and probably better than I deserve on most days. I know it’s hard being the only man in a house full of women but you are the best girl dad I’ve ever seen and our girls are blessed to have you, as am I. Thank you for all that you do for all of us. Thank you for your unconditional love and support. We love you to the moon and back and infinity and beyond.
1. Bake Me a Wish
The Big Guy has a serious sweet tooth sometimes and what’s more delicious than gourmet bakery gifts? BakeMeAWish.com, is a leading national online gifting company. 5% of all purchases will be donated to the Meals on Wheels COVID-19 Response Fund. Bake Me A Wish! guarantees overnight delivery for those last-minute gifts! Let me tell you, I sampled the tiramisu cake and one of their gorgeous gift baskets and it was a winner in our house.
Even though we may not be able to celebrate alongside dad this year, receiving a bakery gift is a special way to let dad know how much he’s appreciated this Father’s Day. Bake Me a Wish! offers guaranteed next day delivery, for all the last-minute gift-givers.
To order a gourmet bakery gift for dad and support the Meals on Wheels COVID-19 Response Fund, please visit www.bakemeawish.com.
4. Society Socks
Society Socks are cool socks with super cute designs that any dad would be proud to wear to the office. They offer products with a social cause that are the perfect gift for the stylish dad who has everything. Society Socks are whimsical, comfortable and best of all with every subscription box, you receive 2 pairs of socks and Society socks donate 2 pairs of fun and funky socks to the homeless shelter.
Bonus: They make cool socks for mom too!
5. Lodge Cast iron for the Outdoorsman
If the dad in your life is a chef or an outdoor chef, Lodge Cast Iron is an unconventional yet perfect way to celebrate Father’s Day. Lodge cast iron is great as versatile indoor grilling cookware but also absolutely perfect for camping trips.
READ ALSO: Father’s Day Gifts for the Great Outdoorsman
As you may be familiar, Lodge Cast Iron has been making heirloom-quality cookware and accessories for over 120 years at its headquarters in South Pittsburg, Tennessee. I’m not normally one for getting appliances or any kind of gift that can be construed as a “chore” but cast iron on a family camping trip is definitely a gift; pancakes on griddles, chili in dutch ovens and pizookies in cast iron skillets. They say a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
6. Sugarfina for the sweetest dads
Finding the perfect gift for Dad might be a bit more challenging this year, but who says it’s impossible? We’ve put together the SWEETEST suggestions for Dad, Pops, Daddy, Grandpa, Uncle .. Whoever you’re celebrating, Sugarfina has the sweet treats to make this Father’s Day one he’ll never forget!
- Choco-holic Dad– give him treats as sweet as he is, Coconut Toffee Macadamias
- Do-It-All Dad– caffeinated sweets will keep his motor running, NEW Cold Brew Cordials
- Top-Shelf Dad– keep it classy for the dad who’s casually cool
They have gifts for all price ranges; under $35, gifts under $50 and $75? No problem. Sugarfina has you covered.
7. Give dad the gift of smart surround sound
Apple Homepod speakers for the tech-savvy dad. HomePod is a breakthrough speaker that adapts to its location and delivers high-fidelity audio wherever it’s playing. Together with Apple Music and Siri, it creates an entirely new way for you to discover and interact with music at home. And it can help you and your whole family with everyday tasks — and control your smart home — all with just your voice. There is almost nothing the Big Guy likes better than a smart home.
READ ALSO: Father’s Day Gift Guide for the tech-savvy dad
HomePod combines custom Apple-engineered audio technology and advanced software to deliver precision sound that fills the room. And at just under seven inches tall, HomePod fits anywhere in your home so no cutting into your walls to install speakers. They are sleek and you almost don’t notice them so they will blend right into your home décor.
8. Father’s Day Spa treatment
I like getting people gifts that they wouldn’t normally buy themselves. The same way that I’m remiss to buy myself anything luxurious unless it’s on a deep discount, the Big Guy doesn’t spend money on taking care of himself. It seems like he only feels comfortable buying what he needs so a luxury like a skincare system is nothing he’d ever stop to get himself. The Thermaderm Father’s Day set is easy-to-use, effective skincare basics, that will have dad looking polished and ready for anything.
The Theraderm Father’s Day Set comes in a smart black travel bag, great for guys on the go, and keeps it simple with three effective products that will keep skin clean and youthful.
Kick-off every day with the Theraderm Cleansing Wash to get rid of all unwanted oil and dirt without drying out the skin. Suitable for face, body, and even hair, this non-irritating cleanser is perfect for dads with busy schedules. The Cleansing Wash is gentle, yet thoroughly penetrates all the way to the center of the hard keratin in hair and can get unruly manes and even beards clean before a shave.
The Fruit Acid Exfoliant makes exfoliating quick and ultra-easy. Alpha hydroxy acid works to minimize pores and slough off dead skin cells while evening out skin tone. Packed of lactic acid toner, this product with get dull skin looking dapper after one use.
Top off this quick routine with the Platinum Protection Facial Sunscreen 43, the magic number for broad-spectrum UV protection because it has the exact amount of active ingredient needed to trap harmful UVA/UVB rays. This oil-free SPF absorbs into the skin quickly and goes on undetected without pilling or stinging the eyes.
Every dad is different and special like giant dad body shaped snowflakes. In the end, all most dads want is a day to feel appreciated and maybe sneak in a much deserved and long-overdue nap. Just gift from the heart something that will be meaningful to your dad or husband and it’s sure to be a hit.
2020/06/10
Throat Punch Thursday ~ Illegals are NOT Okay Edition
Calling people illegals is dehumanizing
” Illegals” are not okay~ Earlier this month, the Charlotte Observer published a story about the birth of Tommy Arias, the first baby born in 2012 in Charlotte, North Carolina. The article sparked an outpouring of hate from some readers.This really gets me hot because another beautiful brown baby was born a day later, my nephew, and I don’t understand how something so precious could incite racism? How could the birth of any baby ( black, white, brown, purple, green, yellow) spark hate? The hate came from the color of the baby’s skin and the assumption that the parents were illegal immigrants, prompting an explosive use of the term illegals or the i-word for polite society.
The entire immigration situation in the United States has been ridiculous for quite some time now. I am Mexican. I am a first generation American. My father was born in Mexico. Just because my father is of brown colored skin does not give anyone the right to assume that he is in the country illegally or to call him derogatory names such as illegal, wet back, Spic, Bean eater, illegal aliens (WTF, we’re not from outer space) and all the other wonderful names that people come up with for Latinos nor does it give people the right to comment so heinously on a newborn baby. I don’t give a flying fuck where you fall on immigration legislation. People are not inanimate objects, they have thoughts and feelings and they can hear your words and be hurt by your actions, even when you think they don’t understand. Believe me, they do understand. English is taught in the schools and not as an elective, as a requirement.
Here’s what happened. A photo of new mom Lucero Arias, 19, and baby Tommy, was published along with the article, which did not reference Ms. Arias’ immigration status, or national origin. The piece, however, did mention that Tommy’s grandfather called from Mexico City. How asinine is this? My children’s grandfather calls from Mexico on certain occasions at certain times of the year because he’s retired and that’s where he goes when it’s cold. Besides, would there have been such an issue if baby Tommy’s grandfather had called from Spain? Italy?Australia? Germany? Japan? Africa? I’ve got news for you, we were all immigrants (unless you are a native American) at one time in our history. Some of us just got here sooner than the others. But make no mistake, we are all descendants of immigrants; illegal or otherwise. We are not all “illegals” and no one deserves to be called by that name.
“illegals” is derogatory and hurtful

That was enough for the comments section to fill up with anti-Latino, anti-immigrant rants, causing the Observer to shut down commenting for the article. The paper also added this note: “Comments have been disabled because of repeated violations of site policies. Please refrain from profanity, obscenity, spam, name-calling or attacking others for their views.”
They had to disable comments because of all the venom that was being spewed about a baby who happened to have a Grandfather who called from Mexico, really? Do people just wait for any excuse to hate other people? It’s like a license to treat people like inanimate objects because they are Latino. Not every Latino is Mexican, and not every Latino is here undocumented, and not every Latino looks Latino so you should probably watch what ignorant comments will be coming out of your mouth because we come in all different shades; including white.

According to Observer readers and Drop the I-Word supporters, the attacks included the derogatory i-word and “anchor baby” slur. Jess George, the Executive Director of The Latin American Coalition, wrote the Observer asking them to Drop the I-Word. They didn’t drop it, but they published the letter, which also sparked hateful reader comments, including these: Way to be an asshole Observer!

” … When kids see lawbreakers get away with their crimes they think they can as well and kids know what illegals are. There IS a difference between Human Rights and US Citizens Rights … “
“Thats right. When an illegal takes a job, he displaces a citizen. When the citizen collects unemployment and goes on food stamps, we pay. This is just one hidden cost of employing illegals.”

“… The way to stop “stereotyping” is to have no illegals here, only legal Latinos. Where could any U.S. citizen sneak over a foreign border and expect a free ride?”
The incident is worrisome, as Charlotte, the city with the largest Latino population in the state, and host for this year’s Democratic National Convention, has also seen a rise in anti-immigrant, ant-Latino bullying. In a span of two weeks at the end of 2011, at least seven cases of anti-Latino bullying in Charlotte public schools were reported to the Latin American Coalition.
The term “illegal immigrant,” which many journalists are having a hard time giving up, is not too far of a stretch from describing people simply as “illegals,” which the Associated Press, New York Times, and the Observer itself have deemed pejorative. Both terms are dehumanizing and further the concept that a person’s being can be illicit. “Illegal immigrant” is not even legal terminology; the Board of Immigration Appeals does not use it, and neither does the Supreme Court. It’s not constitutional or precise language not only because the term convicts people, denying due process. But also because people are never found by courts to be “illegal.”
Can we please stop using this insulting term? How about Latinos? Mexican Americans? Mexicans? You wouldn’t use the n-word, don’t use the i-word. Humans should not be reduced to being called “illegals” it implies that the person is breaking the law by their very existence. It’s derogatory, it’s mean and it’s not going to be tolerated any longer. Throat Punch to anyone who thinks this term is ok. Throat Punch to anyone who uses it. Throat Punch to anyone who can hate a child for the color of it’s skin. Throat punch to the human who can not recognize the humanity in the eyes of another human, even if those eyes are dark brown and happen to belong to a Mexican.
Hope you will link up your Throat Punch Thursday posts with me. I wanted to extend a personal invite to all of you to link up any posts in which you air a grievance, call out any asshatery,or just dole out a well deserved throat punch to one of societies shortcomings or political douche canoes. If not this week, I do it EVERY single Thursday and would love for any or all of you to join in! All you have to do is grab the Throat Punch Thursday button ( listed under the “about” tab at the top of the page), put it in your blog post and link up. If you’d like to stay in the Throat Punch know, I’d love it if you would email or RSS subscribe ( as GFC will stop working soon). People are no more illegals than they are felloniouses, unconstitutionals, or forbiddens ( do you see how stupid the misuse of these words truly are?)

Just say no to the term Illegals

2012/01/26
Oh, my Gosh…I’d like to thank
I just received my FIRST ever blog award! I am totally over the moon! Thank you so much J from https://boobiesbabiesblog.blogspot.com/ ! You so rock! I totally feel like I just won a Pulitzer!:) You have so made my ~~day~~, no my week!!!
( My pseudo Pulitzer acceptance speech! Yeah,I’ve never dreamed about this.)Oh, my Gosh…I’d like to thank my fellow Mommies, my dear husband ,without whom I would never have become a Mommy, and my girls, without whom this blog would simply be the ravings of a mad woman:) Hey, wait a minute….do I hear music swelling in the background? Don’t make me go all Robert Downey Jr. on your booties! This is my blog, I can ramble on as long as I’d like.LOL
So, now that that’s out of the way, I would love to pass this lovely award on to some of my favorite blogs! I hope rocks your world the way it has rocked mine:) You ladies entertain and provide a sisterhood to me that you may never understand. Enjoy!
The rules of having this award are:
1. Put this award on your blog, whether as an entirely new post like this, and/or on your sidebar.
2. Choose 15 other newly discovered bloggers that you love, and award them with this.
3. Send them a message/comment to let them know.
** These are the 15 lovely blogs that I’ve recently happened upon that more than deserve this great award:
1. J @ Boobies, Babies and A Blog (https://boobiesbabiesblog.blogspot.com/)
2.Peryl @ Parenting Ad absurdum(https://blog.seattlepi.com/parentingadabsurdum/)
3.Juliana @ A Blonde walks into a blog (https://blondeinablog.blogspot.com/)
4. The Toy Box years (https://thetoyboxyears.blogspot.com/)
5. It’s always something around here (https://www.itsalwayssomethingaroundhere.com/)
6.Sarah @ Cars, trucks & Teething rings (https://carstrucksandteethingrings.blogspot.com/)
7.Momtrol Freak (https://www.momtrolfreak.com/momtrolfreak/)
8.Amy @ Snarky Mommy.com (https://www.snarkymommy.com/)
9.Not Exactly Mother of the year (https://notexactlymotheroftheyear.com/)
10.Mommy Hood Exposed (https://mommyhoodexposed.blogspot.com/)
11.Double Duty Mommy (https://www.doubledutymommy.com/)
12.Coming Clean (https://parentingconfessions.blogspot.com/)
13.Aging Mommy- Thoughts of a First time older mom (https://agingmommyblog.blogspot.com/)
14.It’s a Mummy’s life (https://itsamummyslife.blogspot.com/)
15.Not Far from the Maddening Crowd (https://hearth-mother.blogspot.com/)
Have a great weekend everyone & keep up the great work, as you all entertain and inspire me daily!
2010/03/14
A Father’s Daughter
A Father’s Love
Father and his Daughter~ It’s difficult to understand the relationship between a father and his daughter. This topic has been on my mind a lot lately with the Daddy/Daughter dance pending this Friday. The Big Guy is an amazing father. You can see it in his eyes how much he adores our girls. This adoration appeared the moment each of our girl’s were born, engulfing father and daughter in an unbreakable circle of love and trust. It will be this way as long as he takes breath. There exists a next level of unconditional love between a father and his daughters. It’s a symbiotic relationship of complete devotion.
I see my girls with the Big Guy and I see all the possibility and goodness of a parent/child relationship and it makes me wonder if every child has this, at some point? I adore my father. I’ve always loved him. His approval and love have always been at the forefront of my mind. But I remember moments, in my lifetime, when I didn’t like him very much. Times when my happiness literally was hung on him and he let me down. Not in the small ways that a parent fails their child but failure in grand ways. I’ve always loved him the most. I’ve always found forgiveness and an endless well of love for this man. He’s always loved me. I know that. He just didn’t always show it.
I watch my daughters, they hang their happiness on their father. Of course, my husband is a different man than my father. It’s a different time than when I was a child. Fathers are more involved in the parenting than they ever were. My husband is ever dependable and present. My father was not always dependable and seldom present. He worked a lot and when he was not working, he spent a lot of time doing what he wanted to do.
A Father’s love is Unconditional
He loved me unconditionally but sometimes he had a difficult time expressing it. I spent a lot of time being made to feel like his little princess and a little time feeling like I had done something wrong. Only no one ever told me what that was. It was confusing as a child. It was sort of like having the rug pulled out from underneath you and the wind knocked out of you, unexpectedly.
I don’t know if that is genetic or I’ve somehow inadvertently taught my girls to do this. I think mostly they do it because they know he will never fail to make them happy. Even when he doesn’t do what they want, or give them what they want it is always with unconditional love and support and usually in their best interest. They can see in his eyes, hear in his words and know in his actions that they are the most important people in his world. I love that about him.
What differences do you see between your relationship with your father and the relationship your husband has with your children? Do you think this is because of the role of men in parenting today ? Or do you think it has more to do with who your husband is versus who your father was?
Ph oto Credit
A Father’s Love
2012/02/06
Fiddler on the Roof Comes to Chicago; To Life
I remember watching the movie Fiddler on the Roof with my dad when I was a little girl. Over the years, I’ve watched it many times and it holds a special place in my heart because Tevye the Dairyman reminds me so much of my own father. The story begins with Tevye, a poor Jewish milkman with 5 daughters, explains the customs of the Jews in the Russian shtetl of Anatevka in 1905, where their lives are as precarious as the perch of a fiddler on a rood.
The affection that Tevye holds for traditions and culture, his deep and unabiding love for his wife and children and even his stubbornness fueled by integrity and his demand for respect, all so similar to my father. His irreverent reverence for his faith and the customs and history of the Jewish people demonstrate his humility.
Meager in his beginnings but knowing that still, in the eyes of God, he is as good as any wealthy man and that his daughters deserve more than their station would dictate. Maybe this is the part that reminds me of my dad the most. My dad too is from meager beginnings; he comes from farmers. He came here alone, as an immigrant, to a strange country when he was young and he loves his 6 children with a fierceness that is only outdone by his love for his wife.
The original Broadway production of FIDDLER ON THE ROOF, which opened in 1964 and featured choreography by Jerome Robbins, was the first musical in history to surpass 3,000 performances. The show won the 1965 Tony Award for Best Musical in addition to eight other Tony Awards that year. This acclaimed revival proudly introduces a new generation to the iconic musical adored across the globe.

FIDDLER ON THE ROOF is the heartwarming story of fathers and daughters, husbands and wives, and life, love and laughter. This classic musical is rich with Broadway hits, including “To Life (L’Chaim!),” “If I Were A Rich Man,” “Sunrise Sunset,” “Matchmaker, Matchmaker,” and “Tradition.”

FIDDLER ON THE ROOF has musical supervision by Ted Sperling, scenic design by Michael Yeargan (Tony Award-nominee, The King and I), costume design by Catherine Zuber (Tony Award-winner, The King and I, My Fair Lady), lighting design by Donald Holder (Tony Award-nominee,The King and I), sound design by Scott Lehrer (Tony Award-winner, South Pacific), and hair and wig design by Tom Watson. Casting is by Jason Styres, CSA.

The tour of FIDDLER ON THE ROOF is presented by NETworks Presentations.

Official show site: http://www.Fiddlermusical.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/FiddlerBroadway
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/FiddlerBroadway
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/FiddlerBroadway
PERFORMANCE SCHEDULE
Tuesdays at 7:30PM (no performance on Dec. 25)
Wednesdays at 2:00PM & 7:30PM (no matinee performance on Dec. 19)
Thursdays at 7:30PM
Fridays at 7:30PM
Saturdays at 2:00PM & 8:00PM
Sundays at 2:00PM and 7:30PM (no evening performance on Jan. 6)

TICKET INFORMATION
Individual tickets are on sale and range in price from $25-$98 with a select number of premium tickets available. Tickets are available for groups of 10 or more by calling Broadway In Chicago Group Sales at (312) 977-1710 or emailing GroupSales@BroadwayInChicago.com. For more information, visit www.BroadwayInChicago.com.
2018/12/18