It’s Tuesday once again. Time for us to unload some of the things weighting us down in life. No judgment, just an ear to bend, a shoulder to cry on, and a helpful hand to help you up when you feel as if you have fallen in the proverbial crap of life. I missed last week, but I need to expunge today!
Let’s start by confessing that I am a miserable sick person. When I am sick, I just want to be left alone in a dark room to sleep it all away. Just let me sleep for a week straight with nothing but liquids pushed under the door to keep me alive. I know I’ve been cranky and grouchy with the girls.Hell,I even called my husband at work 3 states away to unleash my miserableness on him. Not my proudest moment. Sorry. I even bit my brothers head off, who is visiting and helping me with my girls this week. I am truly a wench!
I also would like to confess that it’s a little embarrassing walking around town with my little brother (who is 19) and my 2 girls because people are looking at us as if 1) he is my “boyfriend or husband” and I am a friggin cradle robber .Ewww, gross! Or 2) I am his Mother! Which is equally as EWWWW, because it makes me feel not only old but like I was promiscuous in my early teen years, to boot. Which I don’t really care about now except for how hard I worked to obtain that ‘Good Catholic girl’ image back then. The worst part is either way you slice it..it makes ME feel old!
Next, this list could go on for days this week, I am about to tear my hair out with all this crap I am having to do by myself. It is making me feel overwhelmed and like I can’t accomplish anything I start, like I am a loser! I know I usually bite off more than I can chew (its the nature of the beast) but I muddle through , spread myself as thin as possible, and I get it done. That’s me!It’s how I work. But this week, for some reason, I feel like a bumbling idiot who can’t get anything done. My husband is encouraging me to eliminate some of my extracurriculars with the girls, so I don’t have a meltdown. I get insulted that he thinks I can’t do it all. WTH is going on with me? He may be right, at least this week. I’ve worn myself, metaphorically, paper thin and one wrong pull may be the one that breaks me down.
Thank God for Truthful Tuesdays and wonderful friends.If it weren’t for your emails, phone calls, texts, comments and unconditional love and support…I’d have hit my breakdown threshold a long time ago!
Category: Parenting
Parenting is nothing you expected and everything you could have imagined all rolled into one. I have been spit up on, pooped on, vomited on all before 7 a.m. in the newborn years. I’ve watched my toddler shove a pearl up her nose and poop in her mouth, and I’ve even masticated food. Not as fun as it sounds. I’ve survived breast buds and the sex talk. I share everything I ever learned and you might want to know about parenting from pregnancy to labor thru to the teens years. It’s is hard but it’s the toughest job that you’ll ever love but the salary sucks.
Truthful Tuesdays, March 30,2010; Mommy Breakdown in Progress
A Toddler, a Preschooler and a Petulant Teenager!
With the current living arrangement due to the Big Guy’s career, we decided that I needed some help around the house with the girls. Luckily for us, I happen to know of a super, terrific Joe Jonas look alike ( according to my daughters and to their great enjoyment) a little brother who is a great help, when he chooses to be. The alternative was me a toddler, a preschooler, and a petulant teenager.
A couple of weeks ago my little brother came and helped enormously. It was priceless, the assistance that he gave. He was patient, understanding, funny, sweet, pliable, did I mention PATIENT. I mean way more patient than I think I am, at times, and I’m the Mommy. He’s one of those rare finds, that loves kids and just lets them jump, pull and hang all over him. Needless, to say I was impressed & was looking forward to an encore performance from my little brother.
READ ALSO: New Mom MondayLast Wednesday, I picked him up and he escorted us downtown to a meeting for the girls at a modeling agency. He was very helpful and I couldn’t have managed without his help. Well, I could have but it would have been a much more difficult task.
But by Friday, my little Manny (Male + Nanny) apparently had enough and was evolving into a petulant teenager. He is, in fact, still a teenager. It started with my 5-year-old adamantly refusing to eat her apple sauce ( seems lately they refuse to do anything I actually want them to do). After about 10 minutes of her and
I going back and forth, the Manny looks her dead in her little blue eyes and says, “Eat it or I’ll throw it in your face!”
WTF???? Excuse me, crazy..if anyone is going to throw anything in anyone’s face…It’ll be me and until I reach that moment of complete insanity, it’s not going to happen.
“Excuse me? Don’t say that to my girls!”
Him: “I was just kidding.”
He wasn’t and if he thinks I am stupid enough to believe that well, then let’s say my little brother’s opinion of my intelligence must be pretty low! My five-year-old was in shock, and I think a little scared but mostly she just ignored it and filed his comment away for some future therapy session.
Come to think of it, this complete breakdown may have started on Wednesday when my 2-year-old refused to carry her own apple juice. The doting manny (fabulous uncle) put it in his coat pocket, only to find out that as he was walking around downtown Chicago he was leaving a trail of apple juice that was seeping through his new Pea coat’s pockets. What to do?
READ ALSO: I’ll Love You Forever
Now, instead of having help, I have a toddler, a preschooler, and a petulant teenager. Not fair! I want my sweet, helpful manny back. Do boys get PMS? Maybe that’s it. All I know is that the only way to deal with a toddler, a preschooler, and a petulant teenager is to take into consideration each of their ages and treat them each accordingly. My brother has been so helpful, it’s easy to assume he’s an adult but at the end of the day, he’s still just a giant child and that’s bad on me. The key to having 3 kids at three very different stages in their childhood is to treat them all as individuals; little people with feelings and hopes and dreams of their own.
Hopefully, he will wake up today and it will have passed. No matter what, look at how my girls love him! That’s gotta count for something.
A toddler, a preschooler, and a petulant teenager
Love letter to my daughters
Ella, on the day you were born, I giggled uncontrollably. So many emotions flooded my mind that all I could do was laugh and weep, tears of joy. I fell in love with you the moment I looked into those deep blue eyes. You looked into my soul and changed me forever.You will always be my love and my heart. With every moment that I am given to be your Mommy, my love for you grows deeper and I can’t even remember my life before you. It was as if I never even existed. As you grow more independent, I can feel you pulling slowly away even at your young age. I promise to always give you room to blossom and grow but to be there to lift you up when you fall. And know this, you will ALWAYS be my baby. You may be outgrowing my lap but never will you outgrow my love.
Abs, on the day you were born, I couldn’t stop smiling. It started off a little rocky; we had to have a back up video camera special delivered into the hospital room to capture your birth. You didn’t want to come out, so we had to have a little help in the form of the Texas roll and a nurse laying on my stomach to help push you out.But when you came into this world with your eyes open wide and bright, taking in the entire world in one fail swoop, I knew you were my joy and my smile.Every single day since, you have grown my heart with love and filled my life with joy. Your smile melts me. You are also so obstinate and independent that you break my heart and scare me to death on a daily basis with your constant shenanigans. You will always be my little hell on wheels in pink taffeta and a helmet. At the same time, you are the light of my life and without you and your sister, I could not exist. You are my oxygen; my reason, my life!
All my Love for all of my Life,
Mommy XOXOMean Mommies
Ever had an instance in your adult life as a Mommy where you felt like you were instantaneously back in high school? That instance of which I talk is Mean Mommies; otherwise known as Mommies who like to bully.None of us are perfect, we’re all just trying to survive and get through this part of our life without significantly damaging our children and hopefully with all of our hair in tact. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely Love being a Mommy. It is exactly where I always knew, that I always wanted to be; sharing my life with some amazing little people, loving on them and making some memories. But there are those times when we all need a little lifeline. I’ve referenced my issue with talking incessantly when I am around other Mommies. It’s the sheer fact that I need that adult conversation to keep my brain from turning to mush. I also happen to love having that sounding board to bounce all of my craziness off of and have someone else nod there head in agreement. These little things are what get us through the rough times. These small gestures from our sisters in the field; help us to make sense of it all and put it into perspective; to actually enjoy this wonderful part of life we are experiencing, regardless of how exhausted or stressed out we may be. Sometimes, we put our hand out for a hand up, we make ourselves vulnerable to a new person because we think we could all use another friend and instead of friendship extended, we get bupkis. Shut down and denied like a husband trying to get some sugar during that first month you’re home with a newborn. It just ain’t happening. I’ve watched it happen. A Mommy introduces herself into a conversation between two other Mommies, at some child oriented function i.e gymnastics, Gymboree, ballet, soccer, and she is shut completely down. Denied. Ignored. The other Mommies act as if they never even heard her speak. It is not pretty and it is certainly not nice.Don’t we want to be better examples than that for our own children? I don’t want my girls running around thinking they are better than anyone else, or having a sense of entitlement. We are all people and ,as such, we should all be treated equally. Please, Mean Girls are bad enough..is there really any place in this world for Mean Mommies? I think not!
No rest for the weary
It’s the middle of the day, nap time, normally the time of day that I work out or clean up the house. Not today. Today, I woke up sick. I feel absolutely horrible, like I’ve been hit by a Mack truck. But I can’t nap because God knows both of my girls won’t nap at the same time.Why is it that Us Mommies can move mountains for our children but when it comes to ourselves, we are human and susceptible to all life has to offer:) When my husband and children are sick, I coddle them and do everything possible to make them comfortable but when I am sick, too bad so sad for me. Exhausted,achey, sneezy , coughing, yucky….those are just a few of the adjectives that I am feeling right now.When do I get to be babied and rest? Now, back to my place in front of that Mack truck!
-Truthful Mommy xoxo
Food Revolution: “When you invite people to think, you are inviting revolution”
“When you invite people to think, you are inviting revolution” … Ivana Gabara. Did anyone else see the first , or was it the second episode, in which Jamie shared with the kiddos how chicken nuggets are made? I think he disclaimed it with “this is not how they are made “here” (meaning the U.S) but seeing the ribs and the left over parts going into a food processor has stuck in my brain. I can not get that image out of my mind and I don’t 100% believe his disclaimer. All of this time, like a fool, I have been feeding my kids nuggets like its a healthy alternative but its crap. How did I never understand , before Jamie Oliver’s demonstration, exactly what the hell “rib meat” meant? I had no idea it meant actual ribs were ground up into the nuggets. I was thoroughly disgusted with the whole thing. I can no longer, in good conscience, allow my children to eat processed nuggets. There are a plethora of things they are not allowed to eat and that they are only allowed in very limited quantities, but now one more thing is gone. Not to mention, I, myself, will never be able to eat another nugget again. My new thought process is this, if I can’t recognize what body part or animal the meat comes from; we can’t eat it. Now that I am really thinking it over, seeing as I am a recovering vegetarian, going back to that way of life is not such a bad idea. At least with veggies, everything is recognizable and readily available without going through processing. For now, the girls will be sticking with white meat tenders but I’m not sure how long I can go on this way. I think I need to really start researching our food choices because obviously what I thought could pass for a healthier alternative is not! I even went out and bought Jamie’s new cookbook, I guess that was sort of the point, right?LOL Whatever it takes to make sure my kids are eating healthy foods that are good for them. Fool me once, shame on you…fool me twice, shame on ME!
Jamie’s Food Revolution: Rediscover How to Cook Simple, Delicious, Affordable Meals
Stress incontenince? WTH!!
What ever happened to doctor patient privilege? So, I am talking to the insurance company and they are asking me a few medical questions for the application. The nurse asks me about different conditions that I may have according to my medical history, “So, what about stress incontinence?” “Pardon me?? I am not familiar with that diagnosis or that term?” My God, I thought, was she asking me if I shit myself when I got stressed out? Was that even a ‘thing” a medical condition? If it was, I don’t have it. Never been diagnosed with it; certainly don’t want it! She explained, “It’s when you sneeze and there is a release of a small amount of urine.” “oh, you mean do I tinkle when I sneeze? Yes, occasionally if I sneeze really hard (thanks to my beautiful girls’ enormously gorgeous melons) sometimes I have to do the peepee dance so I don’t tinkle on myself. But its not always.” Come on, I’m not the only Mommy who has had this happen,right? She was really trying to be serious. Next question, “Do you require any treatment for this condition?”
Me: “Oh, you mean other than the peepee dance? Not really, just practicing my kegels!”
Nurse: “Any plans for treatment or corrective surgery in the future?”
Me: “No, its kinda like being ugly. You just have to learn to live with it!” At this point, she did let lose a pretty hefty giggle. And this concluded our interview. I am a little concerned that I am in a chart somewhere as a grown woman who tinkles on herself (just a little bit and just on occasion) but its better than what I had originally thought….One who poops on themselves in stressful situations! My goodness, my Masters degrees never prepared me for that term. Oh, the joys of Motherhood!Things I could have learned from my Id
Wow! There is nothing like our children to put the entire world into perspective. As I am running around like a chicken with my head chopped off, trying to find shoes and coats, finish the laundry (the never ending laundry), pay bills online, make phone calls /return phone calls, return emails and texts, make sure my kids are fed and clean and everywhere they are suppose to be on time and a laundry list of other daily chores (just like all the rest of you Mommies) it hits me, Stop! Take a breath! I am spending so much of my time lately trying to organize and plan life, that I am afraid that I am missing out on and not enjoying life. I find myself filling my days with things that I have to do and very little , if any, of what I want to do. This is making me uptight and grouchy, and defeating the purpose of all of the planning. After all, the planning is to maximize the quality of my daughters’ childhoods not to make them remember their childhoods as ” Remember how uptight and crazy Mom was?” What brought about this revelation, you ask? My brilliant little 2 year old. I ask in complete desperation, ” Gabs, please help Mommy clean up your room, honey.” Her response, “No Mommy! Me no want to!!!!”” Please?” “NO.ME NO WANT TO!!!!!!” (Basically, look woman I told you once..I don’t want to). Then it dawned on me..Me no want to either!! So, why not let the laundry wait a few hours and go have some fun with my girls. They are only this age now..NEVER again. I can’t rewind time like a video cassette. I’m hitting the reset button (oh yeah, once again. Apparently, in my life, it is a button I will be hitting quite frequently. Now, if I could only find that damn EASY button they keep talking about!)
This week we had an impromptu meeting downtown Chicago. Normally, I am in and out of downtown. The traffic frustrates me, the kids get bored and scream and cry; it really becomes an enormous headache.This time I said, hey we’re going to make it an adventure and have some effin fun. After our appointment, we cranked up the volume on the Yo Gabba Gabba CD, started cruising around downtown until we saw some place that we wanted to stop. To the bean we went! I’ve been wanting to hit Millennium park for some time now and an opportunity to put my money where my mouth is presented itself. The girls, me and my lovely “NManny” for the week ( my 19 year old brother, who my daughters absolutely adore & so do I , for him coming out to help me while Daddy is on business) explored all the facets of any art and design that the park had to offer. It was a spontaneous, lovely day in the park…which are always the best. Cheers to many more days of living life while smelling the lilacs versus only planting while multitasking 20 other things, and never truly having the opportunity to be happy or let those around you be happy. I need to start relinquishing some control and going with the flow, because the flow is where I live and no matter what I do…the flow is going to keep on flowing!We don’t need maternity!!!
The other day my husband and I are trying to purchase a new insurance plan for ourselves. That’s why we took a look at the policies from Garrity Insurance. Obviously, we’re all rogue in this field trying to feel our way as we go. Normally, all the logistics of the plan is handled by the place of employment. Not this time. So, after I spend what feels like forever on the phone trying to speak with an actual human being (in actuality it was seriously about 4 hours over a period of 2 days). I finally after much patience, a little bit of cussing and quite a bit of aggravation get a wonderful human being on the other end of the line, who is actually very informative and helpful. Bonus!!! I am ecstatic, I call my husband to let him know that after discussing the plans with this agent I had found a suitable health insurance plan for our family…NEVER want to have sick kids with no insurance. It’s just too much for my heart to handle. I absolutely must be able to take my children in at a moments notice or on any occasion of anything suspect that may arise in their health. I’m pretty much a “shake it off” kinda gal, when it comes to me, but when it comes to my girls. I don’t mess around. I am almost immediately on the phone with the nearest doctor I know, whether it be their pediatrician or one of the other wonderful doctors that I am blessed to have in our lives on a more personal level. Anyways, I was pretty happy with myself for pushing through all the clicks and beeps on the phone to actually investigate and find a plan. I call my husband at work , in IOWA, to let him know I had it taken care of it all by myself. I won’t lie and say I wasn’t expecting some sort of kudos. I explain the plan, tell him the monthly costs and this was his response, “Really? That seems high. Does that include maternity?” I’m thinking, what the hell does that have to do with the price of rice? Does he mean he wants another baby? What’s going on here? But soon , my question was answered with a hard swift, quick to my metaphorical balls. “Why?” I ask. ” because…WE DON”T NEED MATERNITY!!!!!” Wow, it was almost as if, in that moment, he had a secret metaphorical vasectomy. That was what I felt like. I don’t know why it bothered me, maybe because I felt like he was making a statement. Drawing a line in the sand of some sort. It’s not like we plan on having any more children, its just that statement felt so final. It made me apprehensive and nervous, you know like not having health insurance, in case you need to go to the doctor, or car insurance, in case you get into a wreck. I’m a planner and an organizer, not ashamed to say, a little bit of a control freak and I need insurances in life….just in case life throws me a curve ball.
More of that Mommy ADHD
Just perpetually doing the dishes and (random thought alert*) it occurred to me… Why does that song say ,”When you get caught between the moon and New York City”. Yes, I have been guilty of singing the lyrics to that elevator Muzak once or twice but really, what the hell does it mean? I understand stuck between a rock and a hard place because I seem to dwell there quite often. But where exactly is the space that occupies between the moon and New York city? Outer Space? Just wondering out loud, any ideas? Ok, back to resume regularly scheduled perpetual dish washing. Oh yeah, it bothered me so much that I am actually blogging on my phone from the side of the sink:) Oh how I love the advancements of technology! Happy Tuesday!
-Truthful Mommy xoxo
