This is not your traditional gift guide for moms. It’s not specific to cool moms, crunchy moms, tech moms, teen moms or even girl moms. Nope, this is the perfect gift guide for all moms of all ages with kids of all ages and any sex. These are proven gifts for moms that are approved by, you guessed it, moms. But before I tell you the Best gifts to get new moms or any moms, read below.
Let me tell you a little story, the other day, I was talking to my therapist (physical, not mental) who just became a dad for the third time. Nice guy. Cute kids, 3 under 3 and an amazing wife who just gave birth to all three children in three years. They’re both probably in their early 30’s. Our conversation inspired me to write this gift guide because, from my perspective of the hard-earned wisdom of the school of been there done that, I realized that men are clueless.
I’m not saying this in a mean or ugly way. I’m saying it in the way that men are from Mars and women are apparently, from Venus ( more like women are from earth and men have no clue). While we may be on similar paths in life, they are most definitely perpendicular and not parallel. We ay accidentally cross paths in our way of thinking occasionally but for the most part, we are miles away. We interest but it’s not the same life, not even the same world.
I’m not trying to bad mouth this guy or any man for that matter, I’m just saying that we don’t share the same experience. At all. A few years ago, I was shocked to find out that men are never afraid to walk alone, outside after dark like EVER. Never. They are not phased in the slightest. Meanwhile, I’ve never felt comfortable walking alone at night and sometimes not even in the daytime, depending on where I am and what I’m doing. Men are fearless because they are at the top of the food chain. They’re doing the accosting. No one is accosting them. Women, well, it’s the men’s world and we’re just living it, unfortunately. Forget about the fact that we’ve given birth to them ( they’ve forgotten) and just know that they view us as other if they see us at all.
READ ALSO: Standing up for my girls no matter the cost
My therapist and I were talking about how they’ve been having a hard time sleeping ( 3-week old baby) and he said, “she’s been a bit tired and grumpy” ( no shit, new baby exhaustion is real especially when you’re chasing after 2 other toddlers in a damn pandemic.) Anyway, I digress. My point is that she was a little curt because she was new mom tired and she needed help.
Somehow we got on the subject of people needing space (an hour or so to decompress from their family and work, how I walk for an hour every day alone). I gently suggested that on the weekends he let his wife nap and his life would be easier because a rested mom is a happier one. He thought I was suggesting for him to get some time to himself. He was telling me how important his soccer weekends were to him. I gently, reminded him, “Yeah, your wife needs that too. Moms always need time, even if it’s just to drink our coffee or run to Target. Just because we don’t complain doesn’t mean we’re not tired.”
He answered me, “No, she loves being a mom.” That’s when I realized that it was my civic duty to save this perfectly decent man from fucking up his marriage.
READ ALSO: How Scrambled Eggs Saved my Marriage
Dude we all love being a mom but we also love being ourselves, being treated as humans; seen as something other than the help. We are not the live-in nannies, who also cook and clean so that you can spend your weekends golfing, playing soccer or call of duty. Repeat after me; My wife loves her children but she needs breaks. I love her so I must give her the opportunity to rest and breathe. No one can run on full blast at all times without burning out.
In case you don’t believe me, that we are all exhausted, even those of us who love what we are doing and being a mom, I just received this text. She’s a mom and a doctor who has been working almost constantly lately treating CoVid patients in her overcapacity hospital.
“I worked overnight and slept for 2 hours so I could get up and entertain the kids. I’m exhausted. It would be so nice to have a minute where the kids aren’t telling me how bored they are or the husband wasn’t sulking about a couple of days without sex. I wish I could have half an hour to myself instead of trying to please everyone else.”
Best gifts to get new moms or any moms
A day of rest
Even God took a day off. Maybe it sounds too simple or maybe you just don’t want to do it because you’ve worked all week and you want your days off to be relaxing. Great, I get it but how is it fair that you get 2 days off a week and she gets no days off ever? Think about it. Split the days; 1 for each.
Quiet time alone
Take the kids somewhere; anywhere. Quiet time is in high demand and there is never enough of it. Just tell her to take an hour and put on her headphones, sit in the car or go for a walk and enjoy not being the person in charge of meeting everyone’s needs for just a little while.
A spa day
This is a real luxury because, after kids, money and time are both things moms never have enough of. Moms tend to always put themselves last and a spa day, is not only good for the body, but it’s also pretty amazing for the soul too. Let her be a woman of leisure for just a few hours. Plus, relaxing is a superego boost for moms and if she feels prettier, sexier, more relaxed…you will benefit from it.
A girl’s night
I didn’t get a girl’s night until my girls were already 5 and 3-years-old. I kept telling myself that I didn’t need it. Then, my husband basically forced me out one night and it was the best thing ever. Moms need that time to remember who they are as a woman, not just someone’s wife and mommy.
Bring home or cook dinner once a week
Pssst, hey you, we hate cooking after feeding picky eaters all day, coaxing them to sleep and chasing them around. It’s just one more thing on a super long list of things we have to do and we don’t like it. Please handle it occasionally. You will be our hero. Do the dishes and put the kids to sleep on your own…your imagination is the only thing holding you back, baby.
An hour to work out
Being a mom is so busy that we really lose sight of ourselves. One day, we realize we’ve become bottom of our own very long list of things to care about. Working out not only provides us with some time alone, but we also get to feel those endorphins and feel productive and beautiful. Yes, sweating makes us feel like we are part of the solution, especially when we’re feeling overwhelmed and particularly mommish.
A space of her own
It doesn’t need to be huge. It just needs to have a door and a lock. An office, craft room, or workout area. We just really need something that is ours.
Volunteer to do some of the chores
Bringing home dinner is one thing but if you put babies to sleep, walk dogs, fold laundry and unload the dishwasher, there might be some more babies or at the very least some A+ effort baby-making-like actions being initiated.
Consider her feelings
Ask yourself, what would my wife do? You want to go out with the guys for 1, 2 or 10 beers after work on Friday night. Ask yourself, does my wife need me to come home and give her a break? Is she going insane because the only people she’s been talking to all day are under 3 feet and don’t know any words? Does she need to hand off the littles to me and regroup? Yes, the answer is yes. No matter what you might think, no matter how amazing she is or how much she loves your children, the answer is yes because while she is a superwoman, she is only a human.
Ask her how her day has been and let her tell you
Talk to her. Not at her. Ask her questions. Listen to her answers. Let her vent. Give her a hug. Let her cry. Be tolerant. Be patient. Be kind. Most importantly, be understanding and know that she is probably really tired and very hungry.
Entertain the kids after dinner
She made dinner. She bathed the kids. Offer to put them to bed. Offer to read them stories. Take one thing off of her super piled high mom plate. Be proactive. It will make your relationship with your wife and your kids better. You are part of the team, not a spectator. These are truly the best gifts to get new moms and moms everywhere of all ages and it’s free, with the exception of a little effort.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah and wishing you lots of peace and love in your marriage and your parenthood. You can do it. You just need to want to. Let’s be honest, as a mom, I would prefer a gift of the middle of the night feeding duty, dishwashing, folding and putting away laundry, baby wrangling and time alone to breathe, eat, play my music at full blast over diamonds and bags any day of the year. That’s saying a lot because I love my diamonds and bags but time for me, consideration, and respect for what I do from the ones I love, is worth more than anything else.
As a mom, what do you consider the best gifts to get new moms? Best gifts to get moms? Do you think the best gifts for moms are free?