I’m writing this tonight because if I don’t write it down, I’ll probably implode. This is not for you. I don’t care if anyone ever reads this piece. It is for me and maybe for my children to read some day. Today, I am at a loss for words. All I can find is tears. Today my heart is heavy with disappointment and frustration in a world gone crazy; a world killing itself out of fear and hatred.
Cops are murdering young, black men for nothing more than simply being born with black skin. Black women are being forced to sit and watch as their partner sits dying in the seat beside them quietly. They can’t scream and rage like any normal human being would do in their position for fear of being shot dead themselves, another casualty of this war on black America. Their wails of pain are silenced by threats and even when they fight, they are beaten back like animals; stripped of every shred of humanity and respect. I’m shocked but I don’t know why, isn’t this the way it’s always been for African Americans in America?
Small children, even a 4-year-old girl, knows better than to make a ruckus when a white cop has a weapon drawn on a car full of African Americans. She knows that the price of crying, reacting or simply moving, recoiling in fear could cost her her life. This is not the world that I want to live in. This is not the America that I want to raise my children in. I refuse to let my daughters believe that this is okay. I refuse to raise children who stand silent and watch as their fellow brothers and sisters are brutalized and murdered.
In less than 24 hours, not 1 but 2 African American men were shot dead for no other reason than being born black; for no other reason than being stereotyped and profiled by white America. I know it’s not politically correct to say these things but if that’s the case, it shouldn’t be fucking politically correct to do these things. I can’t worry about your hurt feelings while innocent lives are being taken for no reason.
I am furious. I am flabbergasted and I am disgusted with this violence. With this racism. With this idea that we must all sit still, be quiet and mind our fucking p’s and q’s or we will either be threatened to be sent back to where we came from or sent on to meet our maker. I want to rage and I want to fight. I’ve never been one for silence but I think the time to fight harder, yell louder and take an unmovable stand has come. Life should not be this hard for someone just because their skin has color.
Diamond Reynolds kept her composure enough to record the aftermath of the shooting of her fiancé, Philandro Castile. The normal reaction, by any human being, would be to freak the fuck out; to wail and rage but she couldn’t even be afforded that one simple human dignity and she knew that. She knew from years of living with black skin that she had to maintain her composure or she could end up shot too, sitting there bleeding out in front of her child. She knew that every moment could be her last. She didn’t have the luxury of being treated like a human being who just lost someone she loved.
These unspeakable acts of violence have been perpetrated against African Americans for as long as they have been in America. They came here as slaves and for the most part have been treated as less than ever since. They are human beings. We are all human beings. Do we not all bleed the same if injured?
The problem is that in America, a person of color can never escape this cloud of less than-ness put upon them by white America because you can never escape the color of your skin. You can hide a lot of shit but you cannot hide the color of your skin and in the United States that alone is enough to get you killed. That alone is a liability in our America.
If you think any of this is alright, you are wrong. There is no “but” in this situation. Humans all deserve to be treated as humans. There shouldn’t be gradients of human rights and dignity. We are all the same. We are all fucking equal. I’ve tried this coexisting shit for too long. I’ve tried believing the best in people and have been let down again and again. I can’t take the disappointment any more. There are lives as stake.
I know there are good people in this world of all colors, creeds, religions, shapes, sizes, cultures, and lifestyles and that’s who I want in my life and I think that is most of you. But anyone who thinks it’s okay to hate or be complacent in a world in desperate need of fighters of oppression, I just don’t have the room in my heart to hate you back so please just go away.
I honestly don’t know how black America has kept it’s head up for so many years, patiently waiting for a change to come. They have had to fight tooth and nail for every scrap of dignity and respect white America allows them. This is not right. We cannot allow this to go on. The Civil Rights revolution was fought and “won” before I was even born so why are we still living in an American where black Americans have to fight for their right to be treated like humans?
White America this is your chance to right the wrongs of our ancestors. Stand together with your brother. Use your voice to demand human equality. Use your voice to hold those who perpetrate these unprovoked, heinous crimes against black humanity accountable. You need to make the change. Black America has had to fight too long and too hard on their own. We need to make America better for all of us and that means fighting together against the oppressors of freedom for us all.
I pray a change is gonna come.