Category:

Mommy Truisms

birthday , birthday party ideas, harlem shake

An 8th Birthday with a Surprise Twist at the End

by Deborah Cruz 2013/03/12

Remember the song, What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong? That has been my song to my Bella since before she was born. I used to sway back and forth in her nursery with my giant belly; singing softly to myself alone (not really alone, as no one ever is when they are pregnant) away from everyone we knew while the Big Guy was at work. The anticipation of meeting my first child was surreal, exciting and strange. Pregnancy for me was like an out of body experience but singing that song, as the sunshine softly kissed my baby belly through her nursery window, I was overcome with serenity and peace.

2013/03/12 6 comments

winter, winter wonderland, snow, sledding, memories, family

Mommy Truisms

How to Make Amazing Memories with Your Children this Winter

by Deborah Cruz 2012/12/28

written by Deborah Cruz

Walking in a winter wonderland

We just had our first substantial snow here in the Midwest. The girls have waited months for this snow. There is just something magical about snow; to adults and children alike.

We all had high hopes that we would have a white Christmas but it wasn’t meant to be. We did receive a small blizzard the day after and have been living in a winter wonderland ever since.

The girls couldn’t wait to put on their snow gear and frolic in the wintery wonderland. Me, I grew up outside of Chicago and I have a lifetime of memories of freezing in the cold winter snow, sledding, building snowmen and trying to knock down my nemesis’ snow fort to last me a lifetime. As much as I now hate the cold, I want all those memories for my girls and so I doubled up my layers, dug out my snow boots ( because no Midwestern girl worth her salt doesn’t have snow boots) bundled up my kids and my husband and we walked in the 22 degree weather to the neighborhood park; Rocket park. You can imagine what we went there for?

2012/12/28 1 comment

Truthful Mommy Tells All~My TRUTHs about Motherhood

Mommy Truisms

My TRUTH about Motherhood

by Deborah Cruz 2012/11/28

written by Deborah Cruz

Today is the last day of my month long celebration of my 2nd Blog anniversary ( And MY 600th post in 2 years) and I wanted to share Truthful Mommy Tells All~ My TRUTH about Motherhood. I also want to thank all of my fabulously talented and honest friends who shared their truth with my readers. You are my village and you all help me through this journey of motherhood with our conversations. I hope that sharing my TRUTH over these past two years has been a source of comfort and commiseration for you to know that you are not alone in this roller coaster of uncertainty that we call parenting. My truth is something that I have been learning slowly over the past 6 years and even more so since I have joined the blogging community. I don’t think I can contain it all in a single post but I will share some of it here. Again, thank YOU for joining the conversation and trusting me enough to share your experiences with the TRUTH about Motherhood community.

My TRUTH about Motherhood; My Sunshine

No Mommy is an island. Sometimes, it may feel like you are stranded alone and desperate on an island all by yourself with the crazy little natives but you are never alone. All you have to do is reach out and there you will find the sisterhood that will rescue you from the solitude and the drowning days. Make no mistake, that life preserver can come in the form of family, a friend,your husband, the next door neighbor,the lady sitting across from you at ballet rehearsal, a mommy of one of your children’s friends, a doctor, someone you’ve met online or through your blog, or a complete stranger. We only have to be open to seeing the preserver, which usually comes in the form of a honest conversation.

My TRUTH about Motherhood, my Heart

It really does take a village to raise a child. I have not lived close to family since having my children so I have had to be dependent on a small but mighty group of women who I am blessed to call my sisters. It only works if you can be honest though. Our tight knit friendships were forged through pain and honesty. The first step is acceptance. We had to accept that we are not perfect and everyone needs a shoulder to cry on, a hand to help up and an ear to listen during the tough times as well as a friend to truly enjoy the happy times.

Children really do change everything. From the moment you are aware of their existence, they change you from the physicality of your body,what you eat, drink, your lifestyle, your finances, your perspective of the world, your job, your beliefs,your hopes and dreams even the very way that you move through the world.One thing I can guarantee you that you will experience when you have your baby, everything else that you ever held in esteem will become a distant second.

You will love your children more than you have ever loved anything in the entire world. (maybe not at first and certainly you may not like them at times(especially the hormonal teen years) but you will come to love them always.)You will realize that you have forgotten most of your life before they came into it. You will realize that you are capable of being a selfless person, no matter how selfish you may have been beforehand.You will make sacrifices that you would have never in your entire life thought yourself capable of. Children test our character and stretch our hearts above and beyond capacity.

You will cry at the thought of them growing up and leaving, no matter how absolutely crazy they may drive you when they are screaming, fighting, tantruming, biting their siblings,asking you the same question 7000 times,or staying up all night with colic. No matter how hard they may make life in the moment, there is nothing greater than tiny arms wrapped around your neck telling you how much they love you….looking at you like a fat kid looks at cake.There is no greater love than that experienced between a parent and a child.

They make us better people.You will become a better version of yourself. Oh there will be days of complete doubt and feelings of incompetency and guilt. The guilt is almost too much to bear on some days. The guilt is the growing pains of motherhood. It is us metamorphosing into our better self. As we strive to be better people for our littles, we begin to experience regret for some of our actions. This is where we must forgive ourselves. No one is perfect. Some days we growl and roar and some days we cry and other days we do every single thing right and its the BEST DAY EVER but through every single minute of it…we love so big that our hearts are about to burst.This is love.

Naps are as important to Mommies as food and water are to the rest of the population. Naps for the kids so you can have alone time.Time to decompress, think and regroup…to hang on to that last thread of your sanity. Naps for you because Mommies need sleep. Repeat after me…MOMMIES NEED SLEEP. This is so you can function at human capacity, be a better Mommy and feel better about yourself.Start this routine before the baby is born. If you are tired, take a nap!

Motherhood is misery peppered with moments of complete bliss.It’s a lot of hard work with no downtime ( and really crappy pay) and anyone who says otherwise is a liar. But the moments of joy, all those moments that overwhelm and eradicate the minutia , they are so big that they fill our hearts like a camels humps and we can live on the joyous moments through the guilt and the self sacrifice and even the tantruming, nothing’s going right..I’m still in my yoga pants from yesterday and my hairs not been washed in a week days. The bliss is ethereal. The misery is relevant. One days misery is another days joy. Embrace it all, every single moment of it because it is fleeting.

You will never again think in terms of “Me” and “I”, it will forevermore be “We” and “Us”. It’s not enough that I have become this self-sacrificing, put them ahead of my every want and need, person. Now, when I walk through the stores..even when they are not with me physically, I say “Excuse us”” we would like…”. I get the strangest looks. Because even though they are not by my side, they have taken up permanent residence in my heart and I am sure they will remain there throughout my time on earth( I wouldn’t have it any other way). I have finally began to emerge from my Mommy coma and remember who I am and what I wanted before they came into my life. But my perspective has changed, all that was SO important to me before is not that important to me now. Things that were completely unimportant are now vital. I have changed. I am constantly evolving.I am realizing that as they grow and need me less, I can claim a little more of my time and thought for myself but they still permeate the very core of all that I do.For example, I write this blog because writing is a passion of mine, always has been. But I write about my life as a Mother, which is directly influenced by them. See how that works:) I guess I can look at it as I have the best of both worlds.It just took me a little while to learn how to exist with a foot in each world without losing my balance and toppling.

Motherhood is the most humbling, amazing, insanity inducing experience that one can ever endure with a smile on their face and come out the other end feeling like not only did you survive but you changed the world. When I first thought of becoming a mother, I thought of holding a tiny new baby in my arms and loving it more than anything ever before or since. That I was spot on about. But I never could have imagined the ways in which motherhood has tested me physically, emotionally, mentally, intellectually, and spiritually. It has rocked my very soul. I have been pulled and pushed and stomped and scratched and beaten by motherhood only to emerge, stronger than I EVER thought I was capable of being. Motherhood has taught me that life is unexpected and in the experiencing is the living. We can not plan, organize, chart or will what life will bring to us when we have children. We are at the mercy of our all encompassing mother’s heart. I have been brought to tears by my child’s bravery, a tiny needle in an even tinier vein on my baby’s hand brought me to my knees, jaundice almost sent me into a tailspin, breastfeeding broke my heart, cartoons have made me cry, I have a phobia of raisins because one almost stole my daughter from me. I have gained superhero powers when the moment called for it. I have turned into a mother bear, tiger, and even a helicopter on occasion.I have become pliable where I used to be cut and dry. I have learned that I can bend and twist and stretch and pull and push but I will not break. I have learned that poop can be consumed in small amounts and not kill you. I have learned that pennies can be swallowed an come out the other end. I have learned that pearls, fuscilli, and popcorn kernels all fit perfectly up a child’s nose. I’ve learned that when a phone is in a grown ups hand a child will begin to talk incessantly. I’ve learned that when little people talk, they have a lot to say. I’ve also learned that they are a lot smarter and wiser than we give them credit for being.I’ve learned that when they are hurt or their heart is broken, my heart feels the pain..ten fold. I have learned that I would stop a bullet with my face if it meant keeping my child out of harms way. I’ve learned that if someone rear ends my car with my girls inside, they run the risk of a crazy whip-lashed lady jumping out of the car and attacking them. I’ve learned this and so much more that I’d need to write a book to share it all. But most of all,I’ve learned that MY world is a better place with my girls in it for me to love.

My TRUTH about Motherhood, My Life

Motherhood is hard work.If anyone tells you any different, they are a liar. It is the hardest job that you will ever love. But there are moments when you won’t love it so much.That’s OK. That’s normal.If you loved every single second of every single day of Motherhood, we’d have to assume that you were on a high dose of prescription drugs or Mommy juice and that’s perfectly acceptable at times too. Just always remember, if you love your child unconditionally, do the best you can to teach them to be good people, and keep them healthy and out of harms way…YOU ARE THE BEST MOMMY EVER! (I know this because my girls tell me this daily, between the I hate yous and I love yous!)

P.S. This post originally went live on May 31, 2011 but I needed the reminder of all these things today. It’s a year and a half later and it’s still all relevant. I am guest posting at my friend, Gigi’s today talking about my early onset holiday burnout. She has a wonderful series called Around the Bonfire and asked me to join in. I am honored. Hope you will check it out.

I shared my TRUTH about Motherhood, what is yours?

2012/11/28 31 comments

depressed, childhood depression, depressed kid

Mommy Truisms Parenting

What to do when Your Child is Depressed

by Deborah Cruz 2012/11/14

written by Deborah Cruz

Could Your Child be Depressed?

Can young children be depressed? I’ve come to realize something very important, 2nd grade is a turning point in a child’s life. This is where, as the Big Guy says, the rubber meets the road. Education gets real serious, real fast. Last year was playtime, this year is planners and hours of homework and violin and pre-ballet has now turned to ballet and there is no more time for childish games. Suddenly, everyone is serious.

This is the year that our children really begin to take it all in. It’s the year that grades are beginning to count, teachers expectations are raised and the age of reason. Obliviousness and the carefree, reckless abandonment of being a preschooler has to be shelved and children are forced to grow up in many ways. I’ve noticed this for my daughter and I’m not sure I like it, at all.

2012/11/14 5 comments

cochlear, living with hearing loss, hearing loss, disabilities,mom myth, my kids perfect

Mommy Truisms

Mom Myth #1 Exposed

by Deborah Cruz 2012/10/02

written by Deborah Cruz

Mom Myth that we all want to Believe

Mom Myth #1 ~ My Kids are perfect. No they are not. None of our children are perfect. It is a mom myth.You know some bullshit that other mothers perpetuate so that we are not on to them and know that they are struggling with this mothering gig just as mush as the rest of us. They are. Just pay attention; if you look hard enough, there is spit up on her Kate Spade blouse ( why else do you think she is wearing that crazy print?), she may not be wearing yoga pants but look closely, there is spandex in them there jeans or they may even be designer maternity. Sure that loose falling pony is the sexy in thing, but hers was not on purpose the baby was pulling on it this morning and those stunna shades..OMG, that is the universal code for Mommy didn’t get any sleep last night. Of course, we all want to appear to have all of our Mommy shit together. That is why these mom myths exist at all. We think by pretending that our kids are perfect, that makes us perfect mothers. Logically, if they are winners, we are not losers. There is no such thing as a perfect mother and if there is, that bitch is riding a unicorn high as a kite in a tornado.

We need a support group to support one another, not a panel of Judgy McTired Mamas to point out all of our flaws while desperately trying to hide her own. Let’s call it the We’re not perfect, just human’s doing our best club. Who wants to be the newest member? I am the founder and president.

I’ll go first, My name is Debi and my kids are not perfect, that’s a mom myth and I rebuke it.

I am an official Mom Myth buster.

There is an invisible hump located somewhere between the ages of 5 and 7 and the divide is great. As many of you are aware, I have two wonderful little girls, Bella, who is 7 and Gabi, who is 5. They are wonderful, amazing and bright and all that other rainbows and sunshine shit that parents are supposed to say about their children but lately they are becoming increasingly more and more of a pain in my ass. I believe they are wonderful and beautiful because they are mine and I see all they do through Mommy goggles but I also get the privilege and the only right to know and call them out as being assholes on occasion.Yes, I said it, my kids are a pain in my ass.

I know that it’s not politically correct to say that and damn it, I still love them with all the fierceness of a mama bear in drag but it had to be said. They are not perfect, neither am I, they have an asshole streak in them the size of Texas and I just don’t have the patience I need to deal with it on some days. Yes, I am perfectly aware that assholery and asshatery are both genetic and they have probably inherited it from their father or myself, or probably from both. I blame the Big Guy.

This is what has happened. Bella,the 7 year-old, has decided to never tell a lie… to her sister….unless it suits her situation. To the rest of us at home, she has become a down right exaggerating guru. This kid is the Pecos Bill of our house. She doesn’t necessarily lie so much as stretch the truth. I do not like lies. I loathe them and despise liars. It’s a trust thing and if I can’t believe what you say, your word means nothing and that just doesn’t work for me. I can’t have kids who think lying is ok. It’s not. We are working on it. She’s getting better at differentiating between what is real and what is not. She’s on the path of the straight and narrow now, especially when it is most inconvenient.

All that being said, Bella is at the age of reason. Damn you reason. Her little sister is still in that wide-eyed, life is magical phase. Bella and her new found honesty has been a real buzz kill lately.You know those little white lies that we all tell our children, ” oh yes, honey, that is the most beautiful elephant mommy has ever seen drawn!” when what it really looks like is a Picasso and it’s anybody;s guess what it might truly be. It’s all eyeballs and assholes. Well, Bella will come in right behind me and say something like this, ” Ugghh, Gabs, I can’t really even tell what that is!” Sometimes the truth is a little mean and sometimes my kids are pains in the ass and all the time, I love them so damn much that I just don’t care. I don’t need to adhere to some mom myth, I just need to love my children unconditionally…. and pray that Bella figures out that sometimes you can be generous with the truth to spare people’s feelings but I can’t explain that to a 7-year-old.

Do you perpetuate the mom myth or do you simply do your best and not worry about what other people think of your parenting?

Mom Myth #1 Busted Wide Open

photo credit: ^riza^ via photopin cc

2012/10/02 3 comments

Mommy Truisms

Who am I?

by Deborah Cruz 2012/09/20

written by Deborah Cruz

Letting go, who am I without them?

Letting go. Who am I now? Have you ever asked yourself this question? I think I have asked it of myself a thousand times since I’ve gone to college but today, I asked myself the question and I have no idea. How do I define myself?

I’ve spent the last 8 years of my life, either pregnant or holding a little one in my arms or my lap. For the last 8 years, I have been a mommy to the point that I have, quite literally, forgotten my life before them. It all seems like some story that I read about someone else. Above all else, I define myself as a mommy. It’s not just what I do. It is who I am. I am Bella and Gabi’s mommy. And I am blessed. I sometimes take that for granted.

I catch glimpses of the person I used to be in my daughters from time to time; in their fiery spirit and outrageous sense of humor and style. I see all the potential that I used to have and all the freedom of the future. I took that for granted too.

This morning, as I sat here alone with my thoughts, for the first time since school has started. Alone in our new home where we have started our new life surrounded by unfamiliarity, I felt profoundly alone. I miss my children.

They are only gone for 7 hours a day but with so much changing in our lives, I long for the comfortable familiarity in their little kitty cat voices, the shuffle of their feet beneath my own as we walk through the house, their laughter at the silliest of notions that carries through the air like the sweet smell of bread baking.

I miss their too-tight, never-gonna-le-me-go hugs and their delightfully slobbery kisses. I even miss the sibling rivalry fueled by pure love and devotion that just recently drove me to near insanity.

I miss the sweet smell of tops of heads, as their tiny, waif-like bodies cuddle beneath my arm and draw themselves nearer to me than I even knew possible. I miss the not knowing where I ended and they began.

I thought the small instances of letting go would be easier.

I used to think that all the time was too much. That event he best mommy needs at least a few minutes to herself but when my arms are empty and the house is quiet, I’d give back every golden minute of silence for just a sliver of their crazy. I am lonely. I miss my children. I am a mother with no children to feel the empty space and time.

Who am I? I am still a mommy. I worry every morning that I send them out the door that I will miss something. But that is part of letting go and growing up. It sucks big balls and I hate it with a passion but I am sure this means that I am evolving. No one stays the same, ever.

I used to be a girl full of spirit and dreams and potential and then I became a Mommy and all my dreams and hopes, all of my passion was focused on raising my daughters. It still is but now I have 7 hours a day to remember who I am. This is the time for me to have it all.

I am blessed. I have the pleasure and honor of being mommy to these two amazing little girls. I am married to my best friend and I finally have the time to appreciate it all and realize my own dreams as well, without feeling like I am ignoring my family or shirking my mommy duties. I should be ecstatic for the time to breathe finally but I am too busy feeling the pains of letting go, while trying to hold on.

It’s time to figure out who I am again and show my daughters that they can be everything they want to be in life, maybe just not all at the same time but right now, I miss my daughters and I am counting the minutes until pick up so I can see their adorable little faces as they light up when they see me…as I know mine will be when I see them. Letting go is so bittersweet.

Letting go is the hardest part of growing up.

2012/09/20 1 comment

Mommy Truisms

Kindergarten Drop Off Kicked My Ass this Morning

by Deborah Cruz 2012/08/27

written by Deborah Cruz

Kindergarten is Kinda Killing Me

Kindergarten hasn’t gotten any better for me; it’s gotten worse. This morning was the first day that I dropped my five-year-old off at school and didn’t walk her to her kindergarten classroom. I know. She’s been a kindergartner for 8 whole days, as of today. I should be over it. But it’s different letting them walk in by themselves. That’s really letting them go to kindergarten without you. That’s relinquishing control. It’s trusting that they are okay without you, that they will make it safely to class from the drop off point, that they won’t get overwhelmed and reach out for you only for you to not be there. It’s admitting to kindergarten that my baby is now a big kid.

2012/08/27 2 comments

daylight savings time, kids and daylight savings time, surviving daylight savings time, DST, parenting and daylight savings time

Mommy Truisms

Back-to-School and I am Exhausted

by Deborah Cruz 2012/08/06

written by Deborah Cruz

My little girls are exhausted

Summer is almost over and I am exhausted. I’m not quite sure where it went but I do know that it’s gone; next week my baby starts kindergarten and my oldest starts second grade. Back-to-school, already? Where did the time go?

I had all kinds of wonderful ideas of the many splendid things that the girls and I would do with all of our “free” time this summer but apparently, there was none because it doesn’t feel like we came even close to doing half the stuff I had planned on doing. We filled the time with lots of busy work but there were no major happenings this summer. It was like one endless Saturday. Saturday’s are good, right?

I promised the girls play dates all summer; we had two. I promised them visits to Chicago to see their grandparents and play with their cousins. We went once. I said there would be picnics in the park and outings to the beach. There were none. Well, there was that one time that we split a DQ chicken tender meal in the parking lot of the park (surrounded by nature so it should count). We were running errands and they wanted to eat at the park none of us like bugs very much so we ate in the car.

We had plans to go to my uncle’s horse farm in Tennessee, see Beauty and the Beast at Navy Pier and I had even planned a day at Cedar Point. There have been no baseball games this summer or drive-in movies. There were no bon fires and s’mores. I didn’t get to teach my 7-year-old to ride the bike with no training wheels. We never got to fit in cheer camp or swimming lessons. I feel like I’ve been running around trying to catch a moving target. I am exhausted.

My love for my family is never exhausted

Just so you know that I am not a complete and utter failure as a mother, we did take the girls to Chicago for a week. We also took them to Florida for 10 days, spending 3 days at Disney World. We’ve played in the pool all summer, until it got so hot that the water in the pool was actually scalding to the touch. We played dress up and Barbies until the cows came home. There has been a burn ban all summer but we did manage to take the girls to see the firework display downtown from the best seat in the city, my brother’s balcony. We’ve been on one family bike ride. We went to the festival. We bought them a trampoline; a tornado came and ripped it away. I am exhausted just thinking of all that we did do. Imagine if we had done more.

I’ve taken them to the park a few times and we’ve spent a lot of time daydreaming about our new home. Which reminds me, after 3 years, we sold the house and close on a new one on September 6^th. I’m planning on going to a baseball game, the zoo and having a bon fire this week. I feel like I have fallen short this summer but honestly, the girls could care less. They are over the moon about the new house, especially since most of their friends from school live in the neighborhood. I can’t wait for after school play dates and to hear the house filled with my daughters’ giggles.

It’s been a long summer, packed with everything and nothing all at the same time. We’ve all grown and changed this summer. I’ve spent a lot of time working, which is totally a good thing, but I’ve also spent a lot of time not sleeping. It’s hard to have it all and do everything because something suffers. The mommy guilt is kicking my ass today but the one thing I did do every day this summer is kiss my girls and tell them that I love them and that says something without saying anything. They know. I know. It is.

All the school supplies are bought and uniforms too. Backpacks are ordered and planet boxes are in the mail. Now, I am on to autumn. The time when seasons change and children grow. We start school next week, I’m not really ready to let them go but they are excited about seeing old friends and meeting new ones. They can’t wait for ballet to start back and Nutcracker auditions, in fact, they are in their bedroom right this very minute watching the Nutcracker and practicing their moves. We’re all looking forward to making our new house our home and all of the love, laughter and memories that we will fill that house with. I am exhausted thinking of all the things we have planned for this upcoming year but I am so excited to be able to be a part of it.

Blissfully exhausted

What was your favorite part of this summer? Are you blissfully exhausted?

2012/08/06 0 comment

Mommy Truisms

Miranda Kerr, Mind Your Own Vagina & Stop Flaming the Fires of the Mommy Wars

by Deborah Cruz 2012/07/09

written by Deborah Cruz

Miranda Kerr, Mommy or Obstetrician?

I didn’t realize that Miranda Kerr was not only beautiful, procreating with Orlando Bloom and an OB/GYN! Holy shit, talk about having it all. Wait! Miranda Kerr, you are not an obstetrician? You are just a woman who has given birth, like the rest of us but with a rocking Victoria Secret body? Well, then please keep your medical advice to yourself. I will however take your beauty advice. When I was pregnant with my first child, my obstetrician told me that there are no awards for going through the most painful childbirth; there is no trophy and your child will not love you more. However, Ms. Kerr she never told me that my kid would be “drugged up”, I’d be a sissy if I took an epidural and you would be an infinitely better mother than me. Maybe I would have chosen differently. Probably not, but thanks for bringing it to my attention. Mind your own Vagina, Miranda Kerr.

Actually, I had greatness thrust upon me. I had an unwanted natural labor because my anesthesiologist was in surgery when I was in labor. Did your eyes just get really big and did your vagina start to hurt? Yeah, imagine how I felt. I got my epidural at 10 centimeters dilated. It was recommended that I just forgo the entire thing but I was in such pain and desperation that they gave it to me at 1/2 strength. Hell, it may have been a placebo but damn it I didn’t care at that point. I vaguely remember the anesthesiologist telling me the risks and something about the possibility of never being able to walk again. Anyone who has ever experienced transition labor unmedicated knows, I didn’t give a shit if I couldn’t walk again. I just needed the pain to stop. He could have offered to put a bullet in my skull to stop the pain and I would have happily agreed so long as that pain stopped. So, Miranda Kerr, I give you props you are no sissy. You willingly and purposefully gave birth unmedicated. Go you but that does not give you the right to tell the rest of us mothers how to give birth. Mind your own vagina, stay out of mine.

Miranda Kerr, Stay our of my Vagina

I had to survive the entire transition labor unmedicated. UNMEDICATED.PEOPLE!! That may be all well and good if you choose it and are mentally prepared for the pain but its not the kind of surprise you want to have happen to you at the hospital. It hurt, a lot.A.LOT!!! I wanted to jump out of my hospital window and kill myself to stop the pain. You see how giving birth is a near death experience for the mother? I’m pretty sure had I done that, it would have more adversely affected my baby’s start in life than taking the epidural. The epidural is what stopped the pain enough for me to stop considering jumping out the window and focus on bringing my beautiful baby girl into the world. You are not a doctor so shut your mouth and mind your own vagina, Miranda Kerr.

Being a mom is hard enough without other moms judging us for our parenting choice, little lone our pregnancy or birthing choices. I guess there is no time like the moment of conception to start the Mommy wars. Miranda Kerr, I think it’s awesome that you made a choice and stuck by it. I don’t judge you for your choice in childbirth. I, however, chose to have the epidural because it was the best choice for my child and myself. It was the best way I could survive childbirth. It was the best thing for my child because the less stress on me, the less stress on her. You chose differently but it’s just a choice and yours is no better than mine just because your have a bigger platform to make your choices heard. Being a celebrity doesn’t make you an authority.

Miranda Kerr, Mind your own vagina and I will mind mine.

Photo

2012/07/09 8 comments

Mommy Truisms

What Might Have Been~ Being Home

by Deborah Cruz 2012/03/18

written by Deborah Cruz

Being Home; Where the Heart Is

Being Home ~ I’m sure many of you who read this blog regularly have been wondering where the hell I have been. Life’s been incredibly busy lately. I know, you are all playing your tiny little violins and having a teenie tiny pity party for me. It’s okay. It’s been busy and chaotic but in a really wonderful way. I’m trying to get my bearings in a new reality. It’s sort of like learning to walk for the first time. I’m a bit wobbly and I’ve fallen a couple of times ( metaphorically) i.e. the missing in action status. I am here, reading your comments and missing you all desperately but it seems every time that I turn around some new and exciting situation is presenting itself .

Aside from all of the wonderful working opportunities that we have been blessed with lately, there has been a house on the market for over a year now that we desperately want to sell so that we can move out of a holding pattern and on with our lives. This past week we were informed on a Tuesday that we needed to relocate our packed boxes out of our garage and storage area in our basement and to a storage facility. Yes, we needed to move all of our stored belongings out of our $1300 a month storage unit ( the house we pay for and don’t live in) and into another storage unit (an additional $100 a month for storage, 4 days away from work, $60 for a uhaul to move the boxes and my husbands back that went out while moving the boxes). This was all done because a potential buyer couldn’t see passed the stacked boxes of our lives in the garage. This is how desperate we are to sell this house. Have I mentioned that we have been living in a bedroom at my in laws?

Being Home is like returning to the only place you truly know

While we were there, I was flooded with what might have been. This is the house we moved to when Ella was 5 months old. We uprooted our entire lives so that we could raise our girls nearer to family. This is the house where Ella said her first words, learned to walk, had her first play date and celebrated every single birthday up until this year. This is the house where Abbi was conceived, came home from the hospital to, learned to roll over and crawl, say mama and got her first booboo. This is where she came home and danced in her very first pair of ballet slippers, this is the place she became a little girl. This is the house where the Big Guy got down on his knee and re-proposed, on our 11th wedding anniversary because the first time he was too nervous and just blurted it out. This house has been our home almost since we have become a family. Within these walls, I learned the true definition of what it is to be a mothers. Being home, I realized that this house holds my heart.

Life has been difficult for the past 3 years with all the moving, job changes, commuter marriage, changing schools and now living with our in laws. The girls have missed a lot of the type of childhood that we had dreamed for them. Don’t get me wrong, they are blessed. We all are. We have our health ( knock on wood), we have love and we are together. Really, what more could you hope for in life?

I mean the little things, the simple things that we all take for granted that I was reminded of this weekend in our home. Sleeping in your own bed. Knowing that you are home. Playing with your toys without rebuke or being chastised for making a mess.Sitting down for dinner just the 4 of us, at our table and talking, laughing, being sincerely happy. Being home. Watching the girls play with all their toys, climbing on the swing, and playing with their neighborhood friends made me happy.Going to familiar places, driving down familiar streets and being someplace where you feel you belong; like falling into a comfy lounge in the warm sun. Being home.

That’s where I’ve been. I’ve missed you madly. I loved being home, even if it had no internet and it was pack and move stuff to storage. There is no option for us to return to that city. It’s hard to say goodbye to the only “home” we’ve ever known.

How do you say goodbye to people and places that are your home; the very things that make up your memories? How do you leave after being home?

Being Home is being where You are Loved

2012/03/18 8 comments

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