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Whole House Inspection is stressing me out. So we are closing on the house we sold Friday and we have an offer on a house. We do not mess around. We‘ve been living with my in laws for almost a year and I think it’s safe to say that we are all ready for this time in our life to come to a close. We are all ready to move on. Like so ready to move on that, right now, any house that is slightly more secure than a cardboard box and on the other side of town from my in laws sounds suitable. Which brings us to our whole house inspection.
Last Wednesday, we had the whole house inspection on the house we are going to purchase. We expected a couple minor issues. What we found were a few major issues and a plethora of minor issues. In total, about $20,000 worth of repairs.
I know what you are thinking; walk away. Hell, RUN AWAY! Run fast bitch in the opposite direction, back to your in laws if you have to. And you are completely correct. That is exactly what we did when we got our 32-page report from the home inspection. Yes, 32 pages. It took 5 hours. I know because we had to be there for the entire thing. We’ve purchased 3 houses and this is the first one that we ever had to be present for the inspection. Boy, am I glad we did. The inspector walked us through and explained all the issues to us, in real time. The main issue is that the foundation has a crack, make that two cracks in it, and the entire back of the house needs to be lifted to fix it. It’s not like the house is falling down but there is a ¾ inch difference in the level of the room within a 5 foot span. There is a definite slope. That is not a cheap fix. That was enough for us to walk away.
Then we found a leak between the upstairs bathroom and the kitchen window below it. We don’t know which bathroom is leaking, as they share a wall, and we don’t know how extensive the leak is, how long it’s been going on or if there is mold in the walls. There is also another leak in the front of the house from the roof. Did I mention that as a result of the foundation issue, the door jams are sloped (not completely noticeable) but if you try to shut some of the doors it’s like PeeWee Herman’s fun house? So our offer was contingent upon the whole house inspection. We said thank you but no thank you; we don’t want a sloping fun house that is going to be a money pit. We would please like our earnest money back, thank you and have a nice life.
The seller’s agent came back with a “ We’re not going to roll over. We will fix everything!” Everything! Now, this was exhilarating news until we realized what the fuck must be wrong with this house that this dude is willing to spend $20,000 to fix it just to unload it. Is there a dead body in the wall? I don’t need another ghost. Is there some Amityville Horror shit going on in that sucker? I don’t want to find out. Or is he just desperate enough to pay to fix it because he is sick of paying for it and wants to move forward with his life? I mean, we are taking a $20,000 check to the closing of the house we sold because we just needed to move on. We don’t live there anymore and there is nothing wrong with our house, well, there may or may not be the issue of Casper. Either way, we are paying someone $20,000 to take our house. Why wouldn’t this guy?
Still. I am leery. The contract stipulates that all repairs have to be to our satisfaction so there is no room for cutting corners because then we can still walk away or does this dude just really need that earnest money of ours? I’m torn. I want to move and logic tells me that if he fixes everything by professionals, then the house is fine. Right? Well, there is still the possible issue of the dead body in the wall or the Amityville Horror scenario, either way, I will be having this house blessed and priest tested before signing the closing documents.
Have you ever had this happen? What would you do if your whole house inspection gave a lot of negative feedback but the seller agreed to pay for the repairs?