Before Anyone Else. This is who he has become. My Bae. Not out of expectation or obligation but out of pure, unadulterated and unconditional love. The Big Guy is my one and only Bae. I’ve been calling him bae for as long as I can remember, simply because it was my shortened nickname for “babe.” Ever wonder what does bae mean? The bae meaning is not one I would have thought I’d subscribe to. But maybe the kids are on to something because, in my heart, he truly is before anyone else.
Bae is beyond a regular relationship. Bae is deeper, more meaningful, next level…babies, mortgages and life together. It’s saying let’s do this every day for the rest of our lives. It’s I don’t just love you. I like you, even when I hate the rest of the world. Bae is intended for forever.
Remember when you were in your teens? Everyone you ever dated was your “BAE” but that was before the word had any real meaning. When we are at that tender age, the beginning, it’s easy to get BAE status. We don’t fully understand the depth or the meaning those three letters can have. It’s mostly superficial and surface because, at that age, everyone is beautiful and how much baggage can they really have?
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I remember thinking my world rose and set around boys I dated. My teen heart hadn’t yet experienced real love so every twinge, I thought “this must be it.” I was ready and open to it. I was so naïve. But I think we have to grow through these relationships to be ready for real love; the kind that knocks you over the head and off your feet because it’s so different from what you expected. Real love is not hard. It’s easy like a warm surf washing over you. It happens without you even noticing.
All relationships take work, commitment and respect. But it shouldn’t feel like you are forcing anything. Sometimes things run their course and some relationships are training wheels for the real thing. The beast of it all is that we don’t know until we’re in it or it’s over. But when you’ve had it, nothing else will do. The real thing, that love that fills your soul up, the one where you can be 100% yourself and they still get you and love you, it is freedom.
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The Big Guy is everything I never knew I always wanted. Before him, I had no clue what I really wanted. I thought it was a checklist of superficial things. Cute. Check. Strong. Check. Well-educated. Check. Kind. Check. Intelligent. Check. But a relationship isn’t just a series of ticked boxes. It’s so much more and he is so much more than I ever knew was even possible.
He came into my world when I least expected him and he took my life that was like a hurricane and brought a calmness and sureness that I’d never known. He’s given me peace in a life of chaos. He’s been upfront about his feelings for me since the day we met and I’ve always felt seen. There were never games. It was refreshing. Before him, that wasn’t always the case. People tended to see what they wanted to see.
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He’s never treated me like a damsel in distress that needed rescuing, yet when I have, he’s been there to quietly put his hand out to help me up. He doesn’t shy away from my strong opinions and beliefs even when we don’t agree. We’ve been able to talk to one another like adults for the past 22 years and I think that might be because we grew together in love and respect. We were like two young plants, planted in the same pot. Our roots intertwined and we grew stronger together over the years.
There has never been a power struggle. He’s not the macho type. There’s never been a time where I remember one of us feeling usurped into the “we.” Even though we are a couple, we are individuals with our own passions and beliefs. We have our own strengths and weaknesses. We know this and this may be our greatest strength as a couple, we complement one another rather than compete with one another. No one needs to be the leader in our marriage because we ebb and flow into one another where we need to.
He is my bae and will always be.