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Sisterhood through Motherhood

We all know that our friends are priceless. A good friend to share your thoughts with and have some camaraderie with really can make life a lot happier.It makes things fun. You have a cheerleader, someone who always ‘gets’ you.Someone, aside from your husband, who you can be yourself with and they still love you…perks and quirks.

There is something even more precious than a friend and that is the rare mythical creature called a Mommy friend.I’m not referring to the ladies in the  drop off line that you share nothing with other than being mothers of kindergartners. I am not referring to the ladies in the Moms Groups that have to be nice to you because you go to church together.I’m not even referring to those Stroller Striding, Gymboree, baby wearing mates that you spend your days with. Hell, I am not even touching on the Moms you met through common friends and who you have coffee and gossip with while the kids run a muck.The group I am referencing is that very small piece of the population that you meet through some kid like function, your eyes meet, she looks normal, your kids like her kids, her kids like your kids, and you actually can have a conversation outside of your children about, you know, the other things in your life. *gasp*

I know its verboten to speak of such things but it happens occasionally. You know the lady you unsuspectingly meet at ballet class or while at the library checking out dvds books and you have the same parenting technique, you are both drowning in the velvet sea of children and someone takes mercy and tosses the other a flotation device…you know, to save her life!And its like falling in love, but without all the sex to mess it up. You recognize her by her nervous smile and exhausted sighs. In that moment, she rescues you from the isolation that was your island of parenting solitude.

I’ve always had a lot of friends.That’s just who I am. I come from a large family and that’s what we do..people and relationships. When you’re from a large family with not a lot of money, you have to develop a personality.It’s the only thing that you’ve got to offer. I noticed as I had children, loads of my friendships fell to the wayside. Not because I chose it, or even they did, but we grew apart. Either they didn’t have kids or our kids were at vastly different stages in life, leaving us in vastly different stages of motherhood.It makes a difference.It’s like being at the beginning of life or the end of life. Of course we could benefit from that relationship but who has the time or energy when you are trying to chauffeur, cook, fold, clean, wipe asses, comb tangled hair,stop littles from eating the toothpaste and running into the street, and about 2000 other things simultaneously.

Its a little scary. I have two children and in the 5 years that they have been alive, I have made 5 in real life Mommy friends. Yes, of course I’ve met plenty of wonderful ladies to have play dates with or chat up during drop off and pick up but only 5 have I shared a real connection. Only 5 do I want to sit down and talk about whats really going on in my life. Only 5 that would want to share a glass of wine and  get my advice. Only 5 that I can unleash my verbal diarrhea on and them actually engage with a thoughtful answer and not a head shake, blank stare and a “Right, right”. These ladies are my village. These ladies are the ones who have seen me at my best and my worst and don’t judge me for it. Don’t think less of me for being human.These friends are worth double their weight in gold. They are my tether to sanity.They are amazing.

Who are your Mommy friends?How and where did you meet them? What do you think qualifies a true Mommy friendship?

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I have been receiving a lot of wonderful awards from my awesome readers. I just wanted to let you all know that I  do really appreciate them. I’ve just been so busy lately with all the craziness of the summer that I have not had the time to follow the rules of the awards.I have been posting them on my award page ( go see for yourself..I promise I have), and trying to thank everyone personally. If I missed you, I am truly sorry. I know there are questions to answer and awards to pass on. Being that I am so back logged, I am going to try something different..so here goes. First, I would like to post a little something for some special ladies that I have the pleasure of reading and being read by. But we will get to that in a moment. Then I will share with you some of my absolute favorite bloggy goddesses. In addition to that, since I have seriously lost all the instructions to the various awards, I will answer any and all questions that you may have about your favorite dispenser of the truth. So,if you have any questions about me…please leave them in the comment section and I will answer them.

I would like to give this badge (that I completely made up myself because I wanted something special to give) to some very special women….You! Your blogs and comments have made me smile, cry, lifted me up, inspired me, moved me; your sisterhood has made me feel like I am not alone in this crazy world of Motherhood. This is a sincere and totally from the heart testament to the community of sisterhood through Motherhood that I am trying to perpetuate.  There are no rules, all I ask is that you consider what the meaning is behind this badge, place it on your side bar (if you’d like), and if you have a Mommy blogger that you think deserves it..just give it to her and tell her what her blog means to you! Happy Mothering, my dears!

Here is a list of fantastic blogs to visit listed by title.

Niki @ My Fantabulous Wonderful Life
Kristen @ Motherhood Uncensored
Jana @ Boobies, Babies, and a Blog
Preyl @ Parenting Ad Absurdum
Heather @ Dooce.com
Amanda @ Chasing Twins With Louboutins
Naomi @ Organic Motherhood with Coolwhip
Resisiting Perfection
Unofficial Mom
Adelle @ Ready, Go, Get Set
Reflections of a Noncommittal Housewife
Casey @ If the Crown Fits
Donda @ My Husband Misunderstood when I said I was bi
Ericka @ Alabaster Cow
Laura @ The Purse Blogger
Kimi Jo @ Motherhood Unsettled
Robin @ Your Daily Dose
KAE @ Anchor’s Away
The Simple Life
Ree @ The Pioneer Woman
Shius Out of Her Mind
Shell @ Things I can’t say
Michelle @ Mommy Loves Stilettos
Laina @ Reflections of a Navy Wife
Becky @ From the Kitchen of Mrs. Bettie Rocker
Alice @ Finslippy
Rage against the Minivan
One Savvy Mom!
Mocha Momma
Elizabeth @ Writer Revived

There are loads more of wonderful reads out there so if I missed you it doesn’t mean that I think less of you, it just means that my Mommy brain is running rampant again. Everyone of you who reads this blog truly does make my days feel less isolated.You make a difference in my quality of life. I feel I have found a community in you and you have one in me.To my friends that I’ve actually met in person, I may not be able to give you a badge or an award for your blog but next time I see you I’ll give you a hug and know that I always carry you with me in my heart. Thanks for the love. Now, commence with any questions you may have about Truthful Mommy!

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The Truth about Motherhood, girl mom, mom life

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

When you were pregnant did you ever wonder what the hell the truth about motherhood was really going to be? Did any of us really consider what was about to happen or were we so overwrought with hormones and “mothering instincts” that we just assumed that it would all come naturally? Silly girl, I guess that was a lesson we all had to learn the hard way. That’s the funny thing about motherhood, it’s the most important job in the world and nature counts on us “learning as we go.” So strap on the biggest mom goggles you’ve got because life’s about to get mom colored.

I bet you never realized that motherhood is a club, more exclusive than the Junior League, the country club or any other social/philanthropic women’s club you’d ever encountered up until now. I know it seems like they let anyone in but they don’t. Sure lots of women can get pregnant and technically be a “mom” but there’s more to it than just egg meet sperm. It takes a tough broad to really by a mommy; to invest her life in such a thankless pursuit. 

It’s called motherhood, full of bliss and insanity, and it’s situated right in the middle of a war. It’s like the middle east with screaming newborns and crying moms but instead of AK-47s we’re all being held hostage by one emotion; love…unconditional, never ending, all consuming, kiss your baby on the lips, eat half chewed up Cheerios and smell a baby’s butt in public…LOVE.

Welcome to the TRUTH about Motherhood

This is where I will give you the real, true to life play-by-play of this lunacy we call parenting. Believe me when I tell you that I never thought I would become this person. Before I was an actual mom, I was the best mom ever. I knew everything and had parenting down to a science but then actual living, breathing human beings entered the picture and all my thoughts on parenting went to shit.

Yes, there are many, many women in this club, from all countries and walks of life. Do you know of any other sorority where the initiation rite is growing and producing a human being? Seriously, that’s a little steep. It’s a never ending membership. Once you’ve joined, you’re a lifer and believe me it’s more stringent than any other club I belong to. It’s like being jumped into a gang. There is no way out. It’s a ’til death to we part sort of situation so hold on to your hats ladies, shit’s about to get real up in here.

motherhood, mother

 The Real TRUTH about Motherhood

Once you are in the “Motherhood”, you are continuously scrutinized for your choices; from conception (whether its planned or a completely unexpected pregnancy), to delivery, what you wear, what your child wears, how you speak to your child, what classes you take and the lists goes on to infinity and beyond. Worse still, most other mothers never tell you the “truth” about how hard motherhood is but they will judge you for your mistakes. Double edged motherhood sword in the house. The secrets of motherhood are securely hidden from the newbies under lock and key by other mothers; being careful not to reveal an inkling of the real truth for fear that the species may cease to exist.

But I think we are tougher than that. I think we moms are stronger than we give ourselves credit for being and I think our best chance of being the best moms we can be to our children is through forging a real sisterhood through motherhood. There is strength in numbers and if we all just be real with one another, we can lift one another up. Help one another survive without too much guilt and a whole lot of beautiful memories.

motherhood,the truth about motherhood, pregnancy, babies, parenting

You aren’t usually told the hard truth about pregnancy, labor, subsequent siblings, bedtime, discipline, after baby body or any of the other gruesome aspects of motherhood by your friends and neighbors.  You will hear all about the awesomeness by your mom friends. You will have rainbows and unicorns coming out of your ass. But that’s not reality. I’m Debi, a very Truthful Mommy and this is the truth that your mothers, sisters and girlfriends might never tell you!

This is the beginning, so if you are ready for the TRUTH about motherhood, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, as it happens to me, stay tuned! I’ll be giving you the good, the bad, the ugly of motherhood. I’ll be irreverent and brutally honest, so hold on to your hats. Shit is about to get real. Welcome to The TRUTH about Motherhood. My TRUTH about Motherhood!

motherhood, parenting, mother, the TRUTH about Motherhood



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