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music

Bohemian Rhapsody, Freddie Mercury, Queen, Live Aid

Bohemian Rhapsody More than a Freddie Mercury Biopic

by Deborah Cruz 2019/02/12

I just watched Bohemian Rhapsody for the 2^nd time and I truly love it more than the first time. I can’t wait to watch it for the third time. I’ve been a Queen fan since I was a little girl. My uncles were teenagers when Queen was at its most popular so it was playing around our house all the time in the 70’s and 80’s. I naturally gravitated to the sound of Freddie Mercury’s voice.

When I heard that Bohemian Rhapsody was being made I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I was afraid that the movie wouldn’t live up to the legacy. I mean, let’s be honest, Freddie Mercury was a rock icon and a one of a kind talent. Expectations were high. To mess this up was to fail epically. I couldn’t risk the ruin but to be able to see his story told honestly and genuinely with his vocals as the soundtrack, it could be magical and it was.

Here is the official synopsis of Bohemian Rhapsody. My review will follow.

SYNOPSIS

Bohemian Rhapsody is a foot-stomping celebration of Queen, their music and their extraordinary lead singer Freddie Mercury. Freddie defied stereotypes and shattered convention to become one of the most beloved entertainers on the planet. The film traces the meteoric rise of the band through their iconic songs and revolutionary sound. They reach unparalleled success, but in an unexpected turn Freddie, surrounded by darker influences, shuns Queen in pursuit of his solo career. Having suffered greatly without the collaboration of Queen, Freddie manages to reunite with his bandmates just in time for Live Aid. While bravely facing a recent AIDS diagnosis, Freddie leads the band in one of the greatest performances in the history of rock music. Queen cements a legacy that continues to inspire outsiders, dreamers and music lovers to this day.

Bohemian Rhapsody is the Freddy Mercury biopic no Queen Fan should miss.

That was the “official synopsis” but I have to tell you, the movie exceeded my expectations. I was worried that the Freddie Mercury story was going to be told in a way that would ruin the internationally beloved star’s legacy but instead, I feel, Rami Malek played the perfect Freddie Mercury. He was endearing and humble while at the exact same time being gauche and larger than life, much as I believe Mercury was.

Variety critic, Owen Gleiberman, described Malek’s frontman as “a studded leather peacock, swoony and liberated, letting the life force pour out of him in a glorious tremolo, most extraordinarily during the film’s climactic sequence”.

Bohemian Rhapsody, Freddie Mercury, Queen, Live Aid

There are lukewarm reviews that criticized the Queen biopic for being the victim of straightwashing the Freddie Mercury story but I didn’t get that impression at all. I felt like it told his story in a way that made him human and vulnerable in the most human ways. I felt like I got a peek behind the mask of the public, eccentric persona of Queen frontman, Freddie Mercury, to see the man, Farrokh Bulsara. I loved every moment of it.

Bohemian Rhapsody, Freddie Mercury, Queen, Live Aid

On a very molecular level, Bohemian Rhapsody showed us the connection we all feel to Freddie Mercury, the human condition. This movie shows us that in the end, people are what matter and if you have a gift, share it with the world. Love. Let yourself be loved. Be you.

For me, Bohemian Rhapsody is truly a must see. In my case, it’s a see…over and over again. Queen and Freddie Mercury made more than music, they made legends.

Bohemian Rhapsody, Freddie Mercury, Queen, Live Aid

Bohemian Rhapsody is available on DVD today, February 12! Get your copy and watch it with a good sound system. You won’t be able to stop singing along.

Have you seen Bohemian Rhapsody? If so what were your thoughts?

2019/02/12 0 comments

Imagine Dragons, Believer, Imagine Dragons Believer lyrics, the meaning of lyrics, music is life, soundtrack of my life

Entertainment

The TRUTH behind Imagine Dragons Believer lyrics

by Deborah Cruz 2018/03/22

written by Deborah Cruz

My girls “anthem” sing Imagine Dragons Believer, at the top of their lungs, every time it comes on the radio. I know the chorus. It’s a catchy tune but I never paid attention to the lyrics. I never listened to the words, not like I did this morning.

The funny thing is as a tween/teen and even into my twenties, I lived and died by lyrics. I’m a writer, words mean everything to me. But somehow, as a result of my 13 years of living in a mom coma, from which I am just recently waking, those words have been reduced to just the choruses. But not today Satan. As I listened to Believer, it was as if I was hearing the song for the first time ever and now, I can never unhear it. Nor do I want to.

I’m glad my girls are singing it loud and fiercely because it deserves at least that. It’s a strong song of overcoming life and becoming who you are meant to be. It’s about persistence and growth and never giving up and it is beautiful.

I was struck because, when I actually paid attention to the lyrics, it’s so familiar. It is my life. It’s everything I feel, believe and lived. I’m fairly certain most of us can. I’ve told my girls from birth that beauty is pain and it’s true, just as you can’t hate without love; you cannot fully comprehend beauty in life without having survived the pain. That pain is what makes you appreciate the beauty or notice it at all.

The pain in our lives that we survive, they make us stronger and make us fighters. We grow in our refusal to give up. We become better versions of ourselves, more sufficient; stronger. Not saying that I’d wish hard times on anyone but life is not for the soft and the pristine. In this world, you need to have experienced some pain in order to find the beauty to carry on because if there is nothing worth fighting for to lose then why bother?

I, honestly, think that pain and hardship makes us kinder more compassionate people. I know that it can harden some but, personally, it made me decide if I wanted to fight or be a victim. Giving up was never an option for me.

The simple fact is that life is hard and sure, it’s at varying degrees for each of us. We all have our strengths and breaking points. You’ve heard the saying, “God never gives you more than you can handle?” Well, I’ve had that saying thrown at me on many occasions in my life and many times I’ve wanted to say, “THIS IS my breaking point!” And yet, here I am. I bend. I don’t break that easily so I guess, he knows my breaking point. I can only guess.

Each tragedy has made me stronger, more understanding of others, more aware of my own limitations ( or my strengths) and they’ve left me with something to contribute on the subject. There is always a way to make your horrible experience a cautionary tale and save someone else from your same fate.

READ ALSO: All I Can Do is Cry

When you’re living through the pain, it doesn’t feel like there could ever be such a purpose for such physical and mind shattering pain but in retrospect, each horror I have endured in my life; every tragedy and almost moment of complete brokenness has made me stronger and better. Not that I want any more pain in my life but I can see its purpose now and I try to hold on to that when life starts trying to kick the shit out of me.

Life is good. I am blessed, even in my pain because each hurt has helped me to help someone else. I share my pain and others know they are now alone. They leave comments and I can respond thoughtfully and honestly because I do understand. I don’t have to wonder what it feels like to be so beaten down. I’ve been there. I survived and that means they can too because I’m not special, by any stretch of the imagination, I’m just human.

Imagine Dragons Believer
First things first
I’ma say all the words inside my head
I’m fired up and tired of the way that things have been, oh ooh
The way that things have been, oh ooh
Second thing second
Don’t you tell me what you think that I can be
I’m the one at the sail, I’m the master of my sea, oh ooh
The master of my sea, oh ooh
I was broken from a young age
Taking my sulking to the masses
Write down my poems for the few
That looked at me, took to me, shook to me, feeling me
Singing from heartache from the pain
Taking my message from the veins
Speaking my lesson from the brain
Seeing the beauty through the
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
(Pain, pain)
You break me down, you build me up, believer, believer
(Pain)
Oh let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My life, my love, my drive, it came from
(Pain)
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
Third things third
Send a prayer to the ones up above
All the hate that you’ve heard has turned your spirit to a dove, oh ooh
Your spirit up above, oh ooh
I was choking in the crowd
Building my rain up in the cloud
Falling like ashes to the ground
Hoping my feelings, they would drown
But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing
Inhibited, limited
‘Til it broke up and it rained down
It rained down, like
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
(Pain, pain)
You break me down, you built me up, believer, believer
(Pain)
I let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My life, my love, my drive, it came from
(Pain)
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
Last things last
By the grace of the fire and the flames
You’re the face of the future, the blood in my veins, oh ooh
The blood in my veins, oh ooh
But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing
Inhibited, limited
‘Til it broke up and it rained down
It rained down, like
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
(Pain, pain)
You break me down, you built me up, believer, believer
(Pain)
I let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My life, my love, my drive, it came from
(Pain)
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
I told you it was a powerful song, once you know the lyrics. What are your thoughts on Imagine Dragons Believer?

2018/03/22 12 comments

Eminem’s the Storm Says what All of Sane America Feels about Trump

by Deborah Cruz 2017/10/11

written by Deborah Cruz

Marshall Mathers, rapper Eminem, tore into President Donald Trump during a ferocious acapella freestyle titled “The Storm” at the BET Hip Hop Awards on Tuesday. Eminem opened the four-minute tirade with a reference to Trump’s ridiculous “calm before the storm” wisecrack before tearing Trump apart over immigration, corruption, white supremacy, the NFL, gun control, environmental disasters and all the other BS he’s done since taking office.

Eminem is my hero and The Storm is my anthem.

Like so many Americans, Eminem is tired of watching silently as our country is being torn down and ripped apart at the seams. Those of us who see the irreparable damage that is being done to our citizens, our country and our reputation have been trying to find a way to make our voices heard.

We protest. We take knees. We stand up. We yell though it feels like into the abyss. I have used my venue and my voice first to convince my fellow citizens to never allow this ill-equipped and unqualified man to run our country. When he became our president, I weeped and became despondent because how could those of us who knew, history and politics, allow those of you who don’t to make such a dire choice? I felt like I failed in educating you.

Eminem, Marshall Mathers, BET Awards, Donald Trump

Then, I was angry because we were strapped in and on this ride for the next four years. I no longer yelled because yelling fell on deaf ears. I tried to respectfully, point out the issues. I feel it’s my responsibility to myself to make sure that the world keeps its eyes open. I feel it is my responsibility as a mother to fight for a better world for my children.

I changed my plan for change, how I would go about it but every single one of us who is watching with a functional brain, a loving heart and the belief in human equality and true democracy feels the frustration and angst bubbling beneath the surface about to boil over.

Every word Eminem spoke was the truth.

I am not one to go about change by cracking jokes at the expense of our president. Even though I detest the man and his lack of experience, the way he is heading us straight for civil and nuclear war, I refuse to mock the office he holds because I do believe in democracy. I believe in America but the America we are living in today since Trump took office, is one of discord and hatred. We are hated from afar and we are hated from within.

I’ve felt for a long time that the president is playing a game of shells.He’s got us debating semantics when children are dying because we’d rather have our guns than our people. While we are busy looking over “there” he is doing something twice as horrid over “here.” The news covers his tweets but what about his lack of compassion for the people of Puerto Rico, the wall he’s building to keep Mexico out, a fight he picked with the NFL over men taking a knee for equality when he allowed KKK clansmen to run a woman over because they had a permit. He is saying and doing things that could very well lead to our demise as a people and as a country. Why is he inciting a nuclear war by playing chicken with a lunatic? Is his ego so big that he’d risk all of our lives?

Do you think Eminem went too far or are you balling up a fist?

2017/10/11 1 comment

Netflix, Stefani Germanotta, Joanna, Lady Gaga, Gaga, Five Foot Two, Loss, Grief, miscarriage

Entertainment Miscarriage

Girl Where Do You Think You’re Going

by Deborah Cruz 2017/09/27

written by Deborah Cruz

Take my hand, stay Joanne
Heaven’s not ready for you
Every part of my aching heart
Needs you more than the angels do

Earlier this month, my Aunt died and suddenly, I was consumed with people and things that I had pushed down into the deepest recesses of my heart. I was stunned and shocked and it brought up all of these feelings of loss for me; from the life-changing loss of my own pregnancy to the close losses of my Uncle Ramon, my Uncle Narciso and then that took me down a rabbit hole of what ifs…what happens when my parents die. How will I survive? You survive by going on, putting one foot in front of the other and smiling when you feel like dying and wearing big sunglasses so no one sees the constant tears in your eyes.

I watched my uncle and his sons willing with everything inside of them to stay upright when all they wanted to do was collapse into that all too familiar, to me, fetal position on the floor. It’s been 5 years but I remember that feeling of utter hopelessness and unrecoverable loss that leaves you discombobulated and broken beyond repair like it was yesterday. All I could do was love them and try to be there to lean on.

Loss and grief are a bizarre thing. They can take any form they want at any time. I always refer to them as emotional time bombs but make no mistake, they can be absolutely nuclear on impact. One minute you are laughing at something funny you are remembering about the person you lost, then maybe you are smiling remembering their smile or the way they held your hand, then the next you are so angry that you want to punch the entire world in the throat and still in another you are overcome with sadness and emptiness realizing you will never hear them speak your name ever again and sometimes, that is too much to stay standing.

It’s bad enough when you are the one it’s happening to but it is so much worse, for me anyway, to helplessly watch as someone I love goes through it. All I want to do is make it better for them but I know from experience that the only way to truly get through it is to feel every single one of those feelings. It’s nature’s way of severing the tether in a slow, gradual way. Our minds can’t handle pure pain all at once. I remember feeling like I would surely break and yet, I survived. I am definitely scarred by each loss, some more than others, but they leave their mark.

If you could I know that you’d stay
We both know things don’t work that way
I promised I wouldn’t say goodbye
So I grin and my voice gets thin
Girl, where do you think you’re goin’?
Where do you think you’re goin’?
Goin’, girl?
Girl, where do you think you’re goin’?
Where do you think you’re goin’?
Goin’, girl?

I don’t normally find that any two losses are the same, not equal even to ourselves and they all manifest differently. Grieving is something so very personal. There is no right or wrong way to do it. We all just try to survive from one day to the next. The thing is it doesn’t just affect us. It has ripples and it changes everyone it touches.

Recently, I watched a documentary on Netflix, Gaga: Five foot Two and I felt a connection to her song, Joanne. I think by seeing the documentary and learning more about her life and the meaning behind the song, I could relate to her vulnerability in a way I never have before. I saw the woman, Stefani Germanotta, and not the icon Lady Gaga and honestly, I found her so endearing in her vulnerability.

Netflix, Stefani Germanotta, Joanna, Lady Gaga, Gaga, Five Foot Two, Loss, Grief, miscarriage

You know we tend to put up fences and build walls around ourselves to protect us from public scrutiny. I don’t just mean celebrities like Lady Gaga but each and every one of us. It’s human nature to preserve our most vulnerable parts. Mine’s always been more of a see-thru chain link that you can see what’s going on but still, I protect myself. That’s one of the reasons that I don’t do a lot of videos. You’ve read about my howling in pain and grief at the loss of my pregnancy but you never actually saw it because there’s a vulnerability even I can’t go to about some things.

Anyways, this documentary has me full of admiration for what Stefani Germanotta does and who she is in spite of however much pain she is suffering. She uses it to fuel her art. She is no one’s victim. She is honest, raw, funny and completely in love with her family and her fans. She’s a fierce and mighty woman and in her movie you see the sacrifices she makes for her art. She is a bootstrapper. This is something we share in common.

I have a theory that everybody in the world chooses to either be a victim and wallow in their circumstances or pull themselves up by their bootstraps and become stronger because of the hard parts. There is no such thing as try, we have to choose one or the other and do it. I refuse to lay down and give up; that’s not me. I don’t even know how to do that. I tried once. It didn’t take.

Netflix, Stefani Germanotta, Joanna, Lady Gaga, Gaga, Five Foot Two, Loss, Grief, miscarriage

I’ve been listening to Joanne almost constantly since seeing the documentary and it has become an anthem for strength for me. It’s about letting go, even when you don’t want to. It’s about the sadness and beauty in having had the chance to love someone, maybe even someone you never got the chance to properly meet, and the pain and vulnerability of maneuvering through those most painful moments in your life.

It’s about embracing that vulnerability, relinquishing control and giving yourself over to the acceptance of the pain of the loss. Swimming in the letting go, letting it wash over you like warm waves in the sunshine is the only way to become one with it. It’s the only way to survive it and it is beautiful and ugly and amazing and horrible all at the same time.

Honestly, I know where you’re goin’
And baby, you’re just movin’ on
And I after love you even if I can’t
See you anymore can’t wait to see you soar
Girl, where do you think you’re goin’?
Where do you think you’re goin’
Goin’, girl?
Girl, where do you think you’re goin’?
Where do you think you’re goin’
Goin’, girl?

Have you seen the Netflix documentary Gaga; Five Foot Two and if not, please do and tell me what you think in the comments.

Disclosure: I am a Netflix StreamTeam member but the above post about my new found admiration for Lady Gaga and my connection with the documentary Gaga: Five Feet Two and the album Joanne are all my own.

2017/09/27 1 comment

Gwen Stefani, 1st concert, this is what the truth feels like, parenting, girls, milestones

Entertainment Girl Mom Parenting

What Gwen Stefani Taught Me about Parenting

by Deborah Cruz 2016/08/05

written by Deborah Cruz

I learned something life altering at the Gwen Stefani concert last Sunday.Raising girls has taught me to be a better woman. My little girls are no longer little girls. . It is beautiful and sad at the same time. On one hand, they amaze me by the young ladies they are becoming but on the other hand, to be honest, I am nostalgic for the babies who so desperately needed me. I’m torn. Happy for this new phase of real closeness that’s replacing the relationship where I got to be the hero. But, on the other hand, I do miss being the hero. Being human in your child’s eyes is both humbling and liberating but absolutely equalizing. Everybody who has ever had a child that’s grown into an adult knows this. I’m still figuring this all out.

Something strange is happening in our house, the girls are growing up and turning into actual human beings that I love spending time with. The thing is that this is not what I expected. I based my parenting beliefs on one untruth that my daughters would naturally separate from me as they grew older. I was dreading it but this is something I was counting on saving me from dying from a broken heart when they leave for college. But, contrary to my experience with my own mother, we seem to be growing even closer as they enter these years and this scares the hell out of me. How am I to survive the pending separation in a few years?

I’m not the kind of mom who would ever keep her kids close for her own satisfaction. I had that done to me and, honestly, I think it truly altered the course of my life. No, I believe that if you love something you have to set it free. I have to give my children wings to fly, no matter how much my selfish heart wants to clip them and keep them with me forever. The thought of not seeing their faces every single day breaks my heart. I try not to think about it too much.

Lately, I find myself catching my breath at the realization that I made this. When they were newborns, I used to be in awe of their sheer perfection. How could someone so imperfect give life to something so amazing and unscathed? But now, I sometimes watch them while they sleep and stand in silence and awe because I can’t believe these amazing humans they are becoming. It’s more than just cute and smart and funny, it’s big hearts with passionate minds and an openness that blows my heart wide open. They’ve been living in this world and they actively pursue goodness. They strive to love in a world filled with so much hate. They inspire me to be better. Then I’m stopped in my tracks when I realize they are reflections of their father and I and that’s wow. HUGE!

I remember being thrilled with each passing milestone; each defiant act of independence made my heart explode a little bit. The thing is this summer, there has been a huge shift happening, one I never anticipated…my girls are becoming human beings that I really enjoy being around. I thought I’d never be able to love them more than when they were sweet little newborns and toddlers and depended on me for survival but there is certainly something to be said for your children choosing to be around you rather than just needing to for survival.

This summer has brought some slight physical changes in my girls, things I won’t talk about because it’s my blog and not my story to tell, but I will say at a time when most girls begin to shut their mom’s out, my girls seem to be turning to me for guidance. Yep, I am as baffled by this as you because when I was a tween and I started “changing” I shut my mom out, first thing. But instead, they’re coming to me with questions, and for hugs and guidance.

Somewhere between the last day of school, all of these little changes have been happening very subtly. My cute little caterpillars are changing like whispers into butterflies. We have real conversations about real things and they listen and want my advice. It’s almost overwhelming because I was prepared for battle and instead, I’ve found allies. I didn’t think it was possible to love them any more than I already did but I was wrong. The bond is getting deeper.

The changes are small, minute almost, but they are definite. Suddenly, my baby is almost as tall as me and her feet are only a size smaller than mine. We can shop from the same stores and in the same departments but the thing that surprised me the most is that instead of wanting to be nothing like me, they want to be exactly like me. I don’t deny them this because they could definitely have worse role models. Sometimes I feel a little embarrassed when the oldest wants to dress alike because I’m sure the perception by strangers is that I’m trying to look younger by dressing like my daughter. That’s definitely not the case. I think, in her way, she uses it as a way to pull closer to me at a time when she feels herself naturally pulling away.

It’s a whole host of moments that have happened this summer. The kind that you’d miss if you weren’t paying attention. Moving into the juniors department and leaving the kid’s department behind. A new perspective and dedication to the things they love, not that of a fickle child but of a determined young lady. Suddenly, they are spending more time at the side of the pool talking to me on a lounge chair than cannon balling. Then there are the glances from boys that I don’t think they even notice, but I see it happening.

They are finally cool enough to enjoy Gwen Stefani in concert!

Their taste in music has improved drastically, they now love to play the violin, i got one from https://www.runthemusic.com/violin-for-kids/. We’ve long been past the days of the Wiggles and YoGabbaGabba (well, not too long they will still listen if a CD finds its way into the cd player) but they have been comfortably smack dab in Radio Disney land and that’s ok. They love pop music but suddenly they are developing a taste for alternative and rock and and an openness to all kinds of music (like myself). In fact, we took them to their first ever concert (that wasn’t a kid’s group) to see Gwen Stefani and her This is what the truth feels like tour and they loved it and we loved seeing them love it. It was definitely a moment that I will never forget. So for example, your child loves rap music, let them attend those concerts or join them by searching for rap concerts near me because you can definitely cherish those moments with them.

School starts back next week and I’m honestly sad to see our summer together over. The school year brings with it obligations, rehearsals and a full schedule. We literally have one free day a week. I only have 7 more years, 7 more summers with my oldest in my house before she leaves for college and I can tell you definitely, it is not even near enough.

They say childhood goes by fast but in those first few days holding your newborn, you can never imagine just how fast. It’s a flash and I think if you do it right, when the time comes to send your child out into the world, it will break your heart into a million pieces but you will be able to take peace in the fact that they know you will always be their home and you are always there if they need to come home. At least that is what I’m believing from my short 11 years of parenting.

What was your Gwen Stefani moment this summer with your kids?

2016/08/05 0 comments

Entertainment Throat Punch Thursday

Miley Cyrus You Came In Like A Wrecking Ball

by Deborah Cruz 2013/09/12

written by Deborah Cruz

Dear Miley Cyrus,

“Don’t you ever say I just walked away/ I will always want you/ I can’t live a lie, running for my life/ I will always want you”

Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball

Haven’t we all been here? That one big love that just wrecks you. I’d say Miley Cyrus is just about on time. I know I had a couple of these in my early 20’s. Because when you are 20, everything is HUGE and love is the one thing that trumps everything else and when it ends it truly does wreck you and ruin you for awhile but you don’t know that until you have moved past it. When it happens, it feels like the end of everything. Remember that feeling? It sucked.

Where do I start? Miley,I am not your mama, but if I were, I’d give you a big hug. You are having a hard time of it lately but this Wrecking Ball video is not helping your situation. What the hell is all the nudity suppose to mean? I thought it was a heartfelt, plea to save the relationship with your fiancé, Liam Hemsworth, but then the sledgehammer licking came in like a wrecking ball and wrecked the entire video.

I am baffled by all the nudity and tongue flicking of the sledgehammer? Is it a nod at fellatio? Are you publicly promising sexual favors for his return? I’m not judging. I’m just so effing confused. Miley, I know you were young, independent and embracing your sexuality. We’ve all been where you are at, minus the money and public watching. It’s hard. I understand that you’re trying to grow up and break free of the Hannah Montana monkey on your back but this video makes you seem angry and desperate. One minute it’s begging for forgiveness and the next it’s saying, Go! Get the fuck out of here.

When the whole Robin Thicke debacle happened, I said hey, there are two people on stage stop placing all the blame on Miley. Not that there is anything inherently wrong with twerking, well, except for the fact that it is not very becoming on anyone and it’s kind of skeevy. I expect it from strippers, not so much from pop stars. It’s kind of gross but I’m sure you’ve heard this all before from your own parents. Anyways, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a young woman expressing herself and embracing her sexuality. You’ve got a rockin 20 year-old body, show it off but remember with great power comes great responsibility and that rockin body can get you into some trouble, as you’ve already began to find out. The nudity in the video was like going to church to ask for forgiveness and twerking your way to the confessional. Insincere and confusing.

You standing alone vulnerable, crying worked but in the blink of an eye you are walking around in your undies in a construction site, which seems very dangerous. Thankfully you wore the boots, which I can only hope are steel toe, but what about a helmet ? That tiny wife beater and matching panties are cute for playing out construction fantasies in the bedroom but not so much in a place where there is actual demolition and wrecking balls.

Speaking of wrecking balls, I totally get the lyrics to this song. I love this song! Love it! I think you can more than sing, you can SANG! But girl, the gratuitous sex serves no purpose. Maybe you were convinced it portrayed a vulnerability that the lyrics fit and yes, nudity, in my opinion, is just about as vulnerable as you can get so I could have rationalized that if I tried really hard. But what..is.up.with.the.licking.of .the.sledge.hammer? That was too far. I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

In that instant, you went from a vulnerable heartbroken woman and expressing herself artistically to gratuitous sexual innuendo and then it went downhill from there. That one lick of the hammer reduced the entire video to nothing more than being naked for the sole purpose of shocking people. Also, wasn’t it uncomfortable being naked on that wrecking ball? It had to be cold and licking the sledgehammer? Why? Just why? It just came in like a wrecking ball and fucked up the entire video.

This video makes me feel sorry for you, question whether you are in crisis and wonder if maybe someone should slip you a couple stabilizers. It’s one thing to have a breakdown but quite another to do it in the public eye. Next time, give a little more thought to what you want the final product to say about the song and about you because as it stands it’s not saying too much about you other than you like being naked and maybe that you are a little bitter. It goes from being a bittersweet love ballad to a raunchy sexual exploitation in 30 seconds flat.

This video reminds me of that girl who got dumped by the love of her life and at first, she’s heartbroken and begs him back and then, indignantly yells a giant, “Fuck You, I never loved you anyways. Take a good look at what you had because you can’t have it anymore” that is what this video does. You are not Taylor Swift. You don’t want to be that bitter bitch. Have your feelings, have your breakdown, you’re entitled to that but do it in private with a couple of girlfriends and a tub of ice cream and tequila like the rest of us.

Unfortunately, to my chagrin, I have to throat punch that damn sledgehammer licking because it was so damn nasty.

We clawed, we chained, our hearts in vain
We jumped, never asking why
We kissed, I fell under your spell
A love no one could deny

Miley Cyrus, you wreck me.

2013/09/12 5 comments

Tech

Synology DS411j ~Rescuing Your Photos, Music, Video & Blog from an Unexpected Demise

by Deborah Cruz 2011/07/09

written by Deborah Cruz

I love to share great products, such as the Synology DS411j, that make my life better, easier or more enjoyable. Being a mom of small children, my time is precious because it’s so scheduled with tasks, errands and responsibilities. So, I really don’t have time for do overs or heart attacks caused by computer glitches, crashes and screens of death (of the blue or white variety).

*This is NOT a sponsored review. The Big Guy bought this little miracle to save my sanity and it is even more awesome than we imagined. I am compelled to share it with everyone I know.

What is it?

Synology DS411j

A Budget-friendly 4-bay Network Attached Storage (NAS) Server for Small Office and Home Use. Synology Disk Station DS411j is designed to provide a cost-effective file storage and backup solution with RAID (Redundant Array of Independent Disks) protection for multi-user home environments. The operating system, Synology DiskStation Manager 3.1, delivers rich features for multimedia enjoyments, worry-free backup, Internet sharing, and energy-saving options. What does that mean to me? For you? It means a LOT of cool things can happen with this Network attached storage system but the most important feature for me is that it is virtually impossible for me to lose my photos, blog, music, videos (MEMORIES) ever again. I have a serious photography addiction and have taken somewhere upwards of 90,000 digital photos of my children and our family in the past 5 years. Needless to say, most are not printed. I have no hard copies. Our entire life is documented in photos that don’t physically exist. I imagine many of you are in this exact predicament. Imagine how my Mommy heart sank when our hard drive got fried. FRIED! Let’s just say, you’ve not seen a hysterical Mommy the likes of this and walked away unscathed. I recollect some pleas to God and threats to the Big Guy. In the end, My Big Guy (AKA my hot tech man) was able to extract my photos from the charred remains of the hard drive. But it was all a little too close for comfort for me. So, the Big Guy came up with this solution…

Synology DS411j

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It looks so innocuous but don't be fooled, it can save you from a great life loss.

What does it say it will do?

Features

DiskStation Manager 3.1 : Advanced NAS Server OS
Multitasking UI
Storage and iSCSI
Surveillance
Mobile Apps
File Sharing
Back Up
Multimedia Fun
Rich Applications
Privilege and Security
Network
Management
Energy Saving

Does it do what it says it will do? It does what it says it will do. It has fantastic features, the security of my photos and video of which are the most important to me but it can serve as an entertainment center; download station, audio station, DLNA/UPnP compliant media server, and iTunes server. A Back Up to precious data; DiskStaion Manager, Server Backup, and Desktop backup. It can enrich your web presence; by serving as a photo station and a web station. You can access it with your Mobile device; The iPhone^® and Android App, DS audio, allows you to stream music stored on your DiskStation with your mobile devices where Internet access is available, while DS photo+ allows browsing and uploading photos and videos stored on DiskStation from your mobile devices. If you own a mobile device running on Windows Mobile^® 6.0, iPhone^® OS 2.2.1 onward, or Symbian OS 9.1, you can log on your DiskStation to view photos with Mobile Photo Station and read supported file formats with Mobile File Station wherever Internet access is available. And Synology is designed with green in mind. I’m telling you, there isn’t anything NOT to love about this product.

Do you need to consult a manual or is it “User Friendly”? You definitely need to be somewhat tech savvy or read the manual thoroughly before embarking on implementing and understanding this system. But once you do, it will change your life. For me, it just may save my life and my sanity. Unfortunately,I’ve had the misfortune of experiencing Macs Blue screen/spinning wheel of death and Wordpress’ White screen of death. In both instances, I had minor mental meltdowns. The feeling was tantamount to having a fire destroy all of your worldly goods. When I lost my photos, I was at my wits end and when I thought I lost all the data from my blog, I was brought to tears. If I would have had everything backed up on the Synology DS411j, I could have rested easy knowing that it was securely backed up. It gives me peace of mind and that is priceless.

*This piece was originally published on It’s all about teh User.

Synology DS411j~Security, Sharing, & Storage, Oh My!

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2011/07/09 2 comments

Confessions Marriage and Relationships

When Happiness hits You like a Train…

by Deborah Cruz 2010/12/07

written by Deborah Cruz

This song is the beat that my soul is dancing to in the rain these days. It is ferocious and pulchritudinous. All encompassing agony and panoptic ecstasy all in one moment. It IS the moment that you truly love someone, it is sweet repose and cacophonous awakening.

It is your heart exploding to make room for all the love that it is about to give and receive. It is adrenaline, breath seizing fear, all embracing passion; it is everything. It is nothing.It is genteel and savage.

It postulates that you obstreperously shout and church whisper simultaneously.It is a sublimely religious experience.It is the air that you breathe in to sustain you, the water that quenches your exsiccating thirst, the nourishment that feeds the vast gaping hole in your heart. It is excruciatingly beautiful and awe-inspiringly ugly, a choir of halcyon angels and the torturous scream of the banshee concurrently.

It sets your soul on fire and compels you to wrap yourself in its engulfing flames. It makes you audacious and at the same time paralyzingly terrifies you.

It is death and birth.

It is life, it is here… all we need do is open our hearts and our minds to it.

It is too beautiful for words.

Dog Days Are Over

Happiness hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with her drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your loving, your loving behind
You cant carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
‘Cause here they come

And I never wanted anything from youExcept everything you had and what was left after that too, oh
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back
Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than
that

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
‘Cause here they come

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your loving, your loving behind
You cant carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
‘Cause here they come

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Florence & the Machine

2010/12/07 9 comments