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Mommy Moment Monday

mommy moment monday, my girls, daughters. motherhood

Mommy Moment Monday

Mommy Moment Monday~There are these moments in motherhood where I stand in awe of these little people that I helped to bring into the world. They have done things that I have never done. Things that I will never do and that makes me stop and catch my breath. The moments when I cannot believe that I get to be a part of the tapestry of their lives. I know all mother’s feel this way but I am always gently reminded of this when I see my daughters do something for the first time, especially at this time of the year, being the raging christian that I am. This time of the year holds a special place in my heart.

This past weekend my Bella debuted in her third Nutcracker performance. This is amazing to me that she can be only 7 and have performed live on stage in this huge (named one of the top 5 in the country by Forbes magazine) production and in front of sold out crowds. I get stage fright so the fact that they can do this, blows me away and leaves me in the audience so emotional that I am usually moved to tears by my pride in their courage. I suppose it is the knowledge that with every new venture, they are growing up and I am letting go, even in this minimal way.

Bella has always been my child that sucks it up, no matter how afraid she may be of a new situation. She just does it. She is a lot like me in this way. We are the sort who were born wearing our big girl panties. I guess it may have something to do with being the firstborn.

mommy moment monday, my girls, daughters. motherhood

Mommy Moment caught on camera

She had her first reconciliation at 10:30 that morning, that was following performances the 2 nights previous and a grueling rehearsal schedule all that week. She never complained. She had a cold and pink eye in the past two weeks but she sucked it up. On Saturday, I could see she was a little trepidatious. I tried to ease her into reconciliation. I assured her that she would do fine and it would be painless. Unfortunately, she had to go first because she was due at the theater that morning for call time for her matinee performance. She sucked it up and gave the longest first confession that I have ever seen, no doubt throwing her father and I under the bus. It all ended with absolution and a fist pump from what I can only describe as the coolest priest ever. I sat there and watched, because she did a face-to-face confession out in the open, as her father snapped undercover photos on his iPhone because I begged him to. I was moved. She is getting so big and I am so proud of her. I held back the tears and when I saw that her trepidation was exchanged for absolution and a huge smile, my heart exploded.

But there was no time for congratulatory lingering. She had to be at the theater and we had to get ready to attend the matinee. The opening weekend performances are particularly moving because they are accompanied by the Philharmonic and a live chorus. For me, it is always amazing to see my baby on stage because I know of the process that she went through to get there; 5 years of dance classes, auditioning and a grueling rehearsal schedule. She made that choice and I could not be prouder.I was particularly excited to be going to see it with my father, who has never seen my daughter perform.

I excitedly explained the premise to my parents and told them to watch for my girl to enter stage right and then dance her way to stage left. Before we dropped Bella off at the green room that morning, I asked her to make it extra special for me. I know this sounds crazy but if you have a daughter who dances ( especially one who has a particular shade of blondish brown hair) you know that under lights and in their costumes, it is easy to get small children mixed up.

mommy moment monday, motherhood, nutcracker, ballet

Mommy Moment by Nutcracker Mice

When it came her time on stage during the Battle scene, I saw her immediately and then I saw her look for me( even though I know she can’t see anything past the house lights). My heart was swelling so big that I began to tear up, for the second time that day.  I was choked up and tears about to come gushing out when I noticed what she was doing. She was over animating and smiling harder than I had ever seen and dancing like it was her last show ever, and I knew it was for me and I audibly laughed out loud as my tears escaped. This feeling of pride that I feel for my girls is directly proportional with the love I feel for them. In some small part, I did that.

My girls are way more amazing than I could have ever imagined and they fill my life with more joy and meaning than I ever knew possible. I am proud to be their mother and blessed to be able to share their lives with them.

mommy moment, daughters, nutcracker, motherhood

Mommy Moment with my Girl


What was your mommy moment this week?

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Mommy moment monday, Christmas,children, christmas tree

Mommy Moment Monday

My mommy moment almost didn’t happen this week. This past weekend, I wasn’t a very attentive mommy. I was a little self-involved in what was happening to me. From an outsiders view, I spent the weekend being selfish and self- absorbed but in reality, I was dealing with my own shit to make me better for my girls. I know that today.

Sometimes a mommy moment is nothing more than remembering to breathe.

You know that saying that parents should take the oxygen in a plane going down before selflessly handing it off to their children? Well, there is a reason for that. The reason is that if you act all martyr like and give everything of yourself , in the case of the oxygen, you are of no use to help your children get oxygen. So you must make the counter-intuitive decision to get yourself some oxygen, breathe and move on with being a good mommy to your children.

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That’s what I did this weekend, I stopped for a minute to breathe; to help myself get through something so that I could be better for my children. I’m human. I have to accept that. I can’t always be perfect. Sometimes I can’t even be around. That’s okay. I need the moments of solitude to move forward. My children need me to step away to give them the independence to take flight. I stepped away for a few hours and it gave the Big Guy time to step up and he did.

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My Mommy Moment was found in my daughter’s gaze.

Then on Sunday, we all resumed our roles; refreshed, thankful and able to breathe. And then this happened and I remembered why I do this. Why I grew children and give so much of myself to them. They give me moments of complete bliss that I would not other wise have. There is something about a child’s love that is irreplaceable by any other thing in this world. There is no satisfaction greater for me than seeing the little people that I created genuinely happy. It moves me on a level that nothing before or since having them ever has.

Mommy moment monday, Christmas,children, christmas tree

What was your mommy moment this week?

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Mommy Moment Monday

Mommy Moment Monday

Last week, was hard to find my Mommy Moment. Bella was having a particularly bad Saturday. I told you all about the depression and bullying last week so I won’t rehash it but, needless to say, she needed some extra love and attention from her mommy.

It gets so easy to reprimand and tell our kids to behave. We sometimes forget that even though they are not toddlers any longer and tantruming because they can’t verbalize, they still have moments where they cannot find the words. We still do this as adults. We have a feeling or an emotion that just overwhelms us and we don’t know how to ask for love, patience, understanding or space and instead we lash out. I know I do.

Bella is only 7 and I think she did a pretty good job of telling me what was wrong. Don’t get me wrong; I had to work for it. I had to ask every question 7 times and in different ways. We were both sitting in my office crying for so many reasons. The thing I am proud of is that I didn’t quit. I will never give up on my children. My faith in them is like my faith in God, unwavering and is born of a love and devotion that cannot be taught but comes from within. A mother’s love runs so deep for her children that it comes from her very root and is tethered to theirs.

In the end, I was rewarded with my daughter telling me what she was feeling. She spoke to me words that broke my heart for the pain she was in, for the knowledge that she felt so overwhelmed at such a young age but it made me aware. I sat there and listened and I hugged my child and told her that it would all be all right because I will do everything in my power to make it so.

This was a mommy moment for me.

The next day, we had a girl’s day out. It was silly and frivolous. We went to lunch at the mall and had Panda Express, the girls’ favorite. We ate it in the food court. I never do this because I don’t enjoy it but they do. So we did on that Sunday.

I took them to Children’s place and we window-shopped and then we bought fun new boots and kids jewelry. Not anything we needed but something they wanted just because. Some times we need to do things just because. There doesn’t always need to be a reason. I want to teach my girls responsibility but I also want them to know that some days you just need to do what feels good, you need to take care of yourself and you are worth it.

We walked around the mall talking and the girls giggling non-stop. I love the sound of their giggles more than just about anything in the world.  We did frivolous things like smell every single scent of hand sanitizers, and I let them help me choose which flavors to buy. We went o the candy shoppe and bought jelly bellies in the flavors of their choice. It was just a handful but it made them so happy to pick what they wanted, to be heard and considered; for their opinion to matter.

Another good mommy moment.

Then we drove home with the windows down, singing Christmas carols at the top of our lungs. Giggles filled the backseat and my mommy heart was happy because I KNEW they were happy and enjoying childhood in those few hours. There was no obligation of schoolwork, rehearsals or cleaning their room. I had no dinner to cook, no deadlines, no house to clean, no bills to worry about just me and my girls having a day out, just because.

When we pulled into the drive, both girls nearly jumped out of the moving car yelling to their dad that they had “the BEST GIRLS DAY EVER!!!” and I was happy because they were happy.

Mommy moments happen when we are not looking because we are always looking for our shortcomings. Take a moment to focus on what you do right. You are a good mom. Hope you will link up this week.

I’m having an issue with Linky tools right now. I can’t wait to read your mommy moment.

What is one of your favorite mommy moments?

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Mommy Moment Monday

Mommy Moment MondayI am starting a new meme on my blog & on my Facebook fan page, starting today and, hopefully, every Monday from here on out. We’ll call it Mommy Moment Mondays.

We all have crap Mommy moments & Mondays usually suck, so to turn it around, I want us all to post about or leave our mommy moments on my wall. There is only one caveat…it has to be a good moment.

Share a moment when you have done something right or something you feel good about. This is the one occasion that I am cheering you all on to bring on the sunshine and unicorns.

I am anti-blowing smoke up your ass. So I want real life stories (photos, thoughts) about adorable kids, unadulterated gushing is allowed and stories infused with unconditional love for your children, even if it is the most trivial thing. A smile, the way they say a word or something you did that made you feel like a good mom. It could have happened today, yesterday, last year or 10 years ago. We just need to remind ourselves that we don’t always do everything wrong and there are moments of the bliss of motherhood that we would not exchange for a lifetime of sleep and peace and quiet.

We need to stop the mommy wars and enjoy the little things, the little ones.

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