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MIranda Kerr

miranda kerr, drugged baby, mommy wars

miranda kerr, drugged baby, mommy wars

Miranda Kerr, Mommy or Obstetrician?

I didn’t realize that Miranda Kerr was not only beautiful, procreating with Orlando Bloom and an OB/GYN! Holy shit, talk about having it all. Wait! Miranda Kerr, you are not an obstetrician? You are just a woman who has given birth, like the rest of us but with a rocking Victoria Secret body? Well, then please keep your medical advice to yourself. I will however take your beauty advice. When I was pregnant with my first child, my obstetrician told me that there are no awards for going through the most painful childbirth; there is no trophy and your child will not love you more. However, Ms. Kerr she never told me that my kid would be “drugged up”, I’d be a sissy if I took an epidural and you would be an infinitely better mother than me. Maybe I would have chosen differently. Probably not, but thanks for bringing it to my attention. Mind your own Vagina, Miranda Kerr.

Actually, I had greatness thrust upon me. I had an unwanted natural labor because my anesthesiologist was in surgery when I was in labor. Did your eyes just get really big and did your vagina start to hurt? Yeah, imagine how I felt. I got my epidural at 10 centimeters dilated. It was recommended that I just forgo the entire thing but I was in such pain and desperation that they gave it to me at 1/2 strength. Hell, it may have been a placebo but damn it I didn’t care at that point. I vaguely remember the anesthesiologist telling me the risks and something about the possibility of never being able to walk again. Anyone who has ever experienced transition labor unmedicated knows, I didn’t give a shit if I couldn’t walk again. I just needed the pain to stop. He could have offered to put a bullet in my skull to stop the pain and I would have happily agreed so long as that pain stopped. So, Miranda Kerr, I give you props you are no sissy. You willingly and purposefully gave birth unmedicated. Go you but that does not give you the right to tell the rest of us mothers how to give birth. Mind your own vagina, stay out of mine.

Miranda Kerr, Stay our of my Vagina

I had to survive the entire transition labor unmedicated. UNMEDICATED.PEOPLE!! That may be all well and good if you choose it and are mentally prepared for the pain but its not the kind of surprise you want to have happen to you at the hospital. It hurt, a lot.A.LOT!!!  I wanted to jump out of my hospital window and kill myself to stop the pain. You see how giving birth is a near death experience for the mother? I’m pretty sure had I done that, it would have more adversely affected my baby’s start in life than taking the epidural. The epidural is what stopped the pain enough for me to stop considering jumping out the window and focus on bringing my beautiful baby girl into the world. You are not a doctor so shut your mouth and mind your own vagina, Miranda Kerr.

Being a mom is hard enough without other moms judging us for our parenting choice, little lone our pregnancy or birthing choices. I guess there is no time like the moment of conception to start the Mommy wars. Miranda Kerr, I think it’s awesome that you made a choice and stuck by it. I don’t judge you for your choice in childbirth. I, however, chose to have the epidural because it was the best choice for my child and myself. It was the best way I could survive childbirth. It was the best thing for my child because the less stress on me, the less stress on her. You chose differently but it’s just a choice and yours is no better than mine just because your have a bigger platform to make your choices heard. Being a celebrity doesn’t make you an authority.

Miranda Kerr, Mind your own vagina and I will mind mine.


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