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Fashion

There is nothing quite as sobering as walking around a “fashion” mall after having children. Instantly, I am aware that since having my children, my body has shifted and contorted in ways that no longer allow “fashion” to fit me the way it used to ~ the way it’s supposed to…the way in which it would actually look “fashionable”. No, instead I end up looking like a sausage in an ill fitted casing..in silk bloomers. Let’s just call it what it really is #Fashionfail.

Next, I realize that since having my girls, I don’t actually have any extra money lying around to afford high “fashion”. Hell, I can’t even afford a low fashion makeover. Well, that is NOT entirely true. I can afford it. Or I could, if all my assets were fluid and not tied up in, oh I don’t know, private school tuition, ballet, soccer, headbands, tutus, kids concerts, enough toys to fill  my very own Toys R Us, organic food, $8 gallons of milk, doctors, dentists, clothing and shoes for said children.It’s like a gave birth to two of the most adorable little money pits on the face of the earth. I give willingly but at times, like my visit to the “fashion” mall, I am slapped across the face with my sacrifices.

Finally, I try to just give in and let myself visit a place I’ve not been in many years..you know what I’m talking about. That place in your mind where you gingerly ( as if I’ve been able to gingerly do anything since having kids) linger over beautiful clothes, outfitting yourself in your head. Perusing books and art. Fingering the purses and admiring the shine of some audaciously over priced piece of silver jewelry. You know, something  oh so Bo-Ho chic.Trying on multiple pairs of lovely shoes in every possible style, color and heel height available. You remember, pull back ..way back, into the recesses of your mind…shopping. Ahhhh, exhale.Isn’t it absolutely fabulous? I used to be that woman who would shop all day long, until I found the perfect ensemble. The perfect piece of jewelry. The perfect heel. I thrived there, between the racks and amongst the other shoppers.So, when I walked into Anthropologie ( already devastated at my state of affairs) you can imagine the deflated feeling that overcame me when the moment I eyeballed something of splendor…my 3 year old began to whine. The Big Guy heavily sighed in aggravation and my 5 year old said, “I want to go someplace else!” Apparently, I am not even allowed the simple courtesy of being able to window shop in peace. They have taken one of my most sacred past times and turned it to shit….in a matter of minutes.

I left thinking, forget the fashion mall, who needs a $300 shirt anyways? Nobody NEEDS it but damn it, what I wouldn’t give to have the option to decide of my own volition if I even wanted to buy the damn thing.On most days, I LOVE my girls so much that I can’t stand it. But after the trip to the “fashion” mall, I can’t decide if I’m excited for them to be teenagers and enjoy “shopping” with me (of course, then I still won’t be able to shop because again I will be buying everything for them) or perhaps, I am excited for them to be excited to shop so that I can return the favor and NOT let them enjoy their shopping experience. Turn about has to be fair play in motherhood, right? I mean, my mom wished  on me a child exactly like me and I got two. The least I can do is dole out some karma, right? Isn’t that my Mommy duty?

 

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Louboutin, Christian Louboutin

Louboutin; A Girl Can Dream

Louboutin, I heart you~Yes, I realize that I already posted these gorgeous Louboutin shoes in my If there were any such thing as a perfect day post but Ladies, these babies warrant a post of their own! They say everything in moderation but there is no way that this rule can apply when you are talking about Louboutin shoes or Prada Bags, right? OMG, I think I have a teenie tiny humongous crush on these Louboutins! I can just see me standing a towering 6″1 in these babies, looking like legs for days..probably twisting my ankle a few times but surely with a smile. I’m in the midst of brokering a deal with the Big Guy (my husband..not begging God for Louboutins..that would surely be wrong..right?) I’ve taken to using my favorite things as my screen saver. My husband walks in and subliminally is coaxed into buying me the absolute perfect gifts. Well, I thought it was working until he saw the Louboutins and asked me if I thought the Mac was a wishing window? To which he answered, it’s not unless you have planted a money tree in the back yard that I don’t know about. Damn Money tree, wish it would grow already! I’m thinking, in regards to my The only cure is ice cream post, these Louboutin heels may be the antidote to what ails me, and in the very least..they have got to be worth some weight loss inspiration, right?

Christian Louboutin….I heart you!

On the Louboutin website, Christian Louboutin is portrayed as a magician. Mr. Louboutin, won’t you do some magic and make your awesome shoes affordable enough for Mommies who have to put kids through college and feed and clothe babies? Maybe resistant to baby spit up? I don’t mind paying for quality but I can not justify not paying for parochial school so that I can sport these Louboutin Perdue Platforms. That would be wrong? Right? Hey Louboutin..I’m always game to do a review. Just saying. Not to sway you in any way Mr. Louboutin but I’m pretty sure that I could vacuum, do dishes and diaper in these Louboutin Perdue Platforms.What is your fantasy fashion piece? If you had a million dollars would you buy a pair of Louboutin heels or something else?

Louboutin, I think I Love You

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My little fashionista! You can always tell when they dress themselves!

Strike a pose!

Part Good night Cleveland; part Oh what a feeling …Toyota!

Show Mama your Zoolander face!

Look at the little one..look at all that sass! No wonder the Modeling agencies wan to represent these girls!

Give me your best gangsta swagger ,little one! Big Sis..you keep on with the oh what a feeling pose!

Oh shit! Its the Saturday Night Fever walk…”ah, ah, ah, ah..Stayin’ Alive, Staying Alive!”

Seriously Mom, my fashion sense is beyond reproach.
Hey, Little girl, Minnie Pearl called and she wants her clothes back!

Warning: Only tiny divas can pull off such cracked out ensembles. Grown women, please do not try this at home lest you want to be ridiculed and mocked forevermore by your children!

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Vintage

by Deborah Cruz

I’m really starting to understand how style and fashion work. Always, it seems, whats old becomes new again and when it does all those clothes  that you should have thrown out 15 years ago, but you hoarded instead, become vintage! I know when I was in my late teens bell bottoms came back in style..all the 60’s stuff was really big. I thought I was so cool because I had a bunch of my parents clothes from the 60’s. Now, in the late 90’s/early 00’s the “punk” style came back into fashion. Great, I had a plethora of that clothing from when I was a teenager…of course you look a little retarded dressing like a punk rocker when you are in your 30’s..just saying. If you are not actually Sid Vicious or a card carrying member of one of the original punk bands and you are over 30..you’ve not earned the right to be all anarchist in the USA …after 30. Now, all the neon colors,high tops, lace,acid washed, ripped shit from the 80’s is coming back. That stuff was horrible the 1st time around..why are we letting it come back again? Thank God my kids are too young to partake because I burned all my evidence stuff from the 80’s. The only thing that was good was the fact that I was in my teens in the late 80’s, John Hughes was making some killer movies, and the new wave/punk/ industrial music was awesome. My last word on the subject to anyone who remembers the 80’s, is it just me or are skinny jeans just an updated version of the tight roll jeans of the 80’s? You know who you are…If Kelly from saved by the bell was doing it….I know your ankles were turning blue doing it too!LOL What’s next, Shaker sweaters? Cross color jeans? MC Hammer? When will this madness end?
All I know is that watching fashions come in and out of style makes me feel really old, especially when it happens so quickly. Here’s to being “Vintage” may we get better with each and every new version of ourselves!Now to entertain you with a little flashback….

Truthful Mommy (Iridescent green dress) circa 1990


                                       Truthful Mommy (Right hand side) circa 1996
Please, Don’t hold it against me!I was young, and apparently buckled to peer pressure…or maybe I just didn’t know any better:)

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