Tag:

family

What Might Have Been~ Being Home

by Deborah Cruz 2012/03/18

Being Home; Where the Heart Is

Being Home ~ I’m sure many of you who read this blog regularly have been wondering where the hell I have been. Life’s been incredibly busy lately. I know, you are all playing your tiny little violins and having a teenie tiny pity party for me. It’s okay. It’s been busy and chaotic but in a really wonderful way. I’m trying to get my bearings in a new reality. It’s sort of like learning to walk for the first time. I’m a bit wobbly and I’ve fallen a couple of times ( metaphorically) i.e. the missing in action status. I am here, reading your comments and missing you all desperately but it seems every time that I turn around some new and exciting situation is presenting itself .

Aside from all of the wonderful working opportunities that we have been blessed with lately, there has been a house on the market for over a year now that we desperately want to sell so that we can move out of a holding pattern and on with our lives. This past week we were informed on a Tuesday that we needed to relocate our packed boxes out of our garage and storage area in our basement and to a storage facility. Yes, we needed to move all of our stored belongings out of our $1300 a month storage unit ( the house we pay for and don’t live in) and into another storage unit (an additional $100 a month for storage, 4 days away from work, $60 for a uhaul to move the boxes and my husbands back that went out while moving the boxes). This was all done because a potential buyer couldn’t see passed the stacked boxes of our lives in the garage. This is how desperate we are to sell this house. Have I mentioned that we have been living in a bedroom at my in laws?

Being Home is like returning to the only place you truly know

While we were there, I was flooded with what might have been. This is the house we moved to when Ella was 5 months old. We uprooted our entire lives so that we could raise our girls nearer to family. This is the house where Ella said her first words, learned to walk, had her first play date and celebrated every single birthday up until this year. This is the house where Abbi was conceived, came home from the hospital to, learned to roll over and crawl, say mama and got her first booboo. This is where she came home and danced in her very first pair of ballet slippers, this is the place she became a little girl. This is the house where the Big Guy got down on his knee and re-proposed, on our 11th wedding anniversary because the first time he was too nervous and just blurted it out. This house has been our home almost since we have become a family. Within these walls, I learned the true definition of what it is to be a mothers. Being home, I realized that this house holds my heart.

Life has been difficult for the past 3 years with all the moving, job changes, commuter marriage, changing schools and now living with our in laws. The girls have missed a lot of the type of childhood that we had dreamed for them. Don’t get me wrong, they are blessed. We all are. We have our health ( knock on wood), we have love and we are together. Really, what more could you hope for in life?

I mean the little things, the simple things that we all take for granted that I was reminded of this weekend in our home. Sleeping in your own bed. Knowing that you are home. Playing with your toys without rebuke or being chastised for making a mess.Sitting down for dinner just the 4 of us, at our table and talking, laughing, being sincerely happy. Being home. Watching the girls play with all their toys, climbing on the swing, and playing with their neighborhood friends made me happy.Going to familiar places, driving down familiar streets and being someplace where you feel you belong; like falling into a comfy lounge in the warm sun. Being home.

That’s where I’ve been. I’ve missed you madly. I loved being home, even if it had no internet and it was pack and move stuff to storage. There is no option for us to return to that city. It’s hard to say goodbye to the only “home” we’ve ever known.

How do you say goodbye to people and places that are your home; the very things that make up your memories? How do you leave after being home?

Being Home is being where You are Loved

2012/03/18 8 comments

working mom , mommy guilt, work, mom, family and work balance

Confessions

Working Mom Guilt~Finding the Balace Between Work and Family

by Deborah Cruz 2012/03/07

written by Deborah Cruz

The Working Mom

Working Mom guilt ~ Finding the balance between work and family is the sweet spot in life where every working mom wants to live. But how do we find the perfect balance between our careers and our family, more importantly, our children? This is a struggle that I think every woman is too familiar with; one that I, myself, have struggled with since giving birth to my first child.

Even if we are afforded the luxury of being stay-at-home Moms, we are torn and left feeling guilty for not wanting to be in the house, with the children, sans adult conversation for 24-hour increments/ 365 days a year. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom, a work outside of the home mom and a work-at-home mom. All have had their challenges and in every category, I was a working mom. Raising children and maintaining a home is never ending work, even if the perks include spontaneous hugs form adorable munchkins.

As a stay-at- home mom, I wrestled with being overwhelmed with no down time. I found myself having verbal explosive diarrhea each afternoon when my husband walked through the door. I felt disconnected to the outside world and then I felt extreme guilt for feeling like I wanted to be anywhere else. After all, what kind of mother needs time away from her children? Obviously, this was a sign of a major character flaw on my part and I should suffer in silence like a priest trying to purify his soul and purge the impure thoughts. After all, wanting to be away from my children, wasn’t that the most impure thought that a mother could have?

While pregnant with my second child, I temporarily took a job outside of the home. It was only in the afternoon, after my husband was home from work, because I could not bring myself to leave my 1 year old with anyone else (another side effect of extreme Mommy guilt). She was up for precisely 2 hours after I left for work. In retrospect, she probably didn’t even notice that I was gone. She normally played with Daddy from the moment he walked in the door until bedtime anyways, regardless if I were home or not. Yet, every single day that I walked out the door for my 5 hours of work, I felt like I was betraying her in some profound way; abandoning her. The guilt was palpable. The job lasted eight months. From the moment I took the job, I was looking to find something that allowed me to work from home.

This Working Mom wanted to work from home

At six months pregnant, I found a fabulous job that allowed me the flexibility to work from home and make my own schedule. I was ecstatic. Then I started the job and realized there is only one rung of Mommy guilt worse than leaving your child to go to work and that is sitting in the same house as your child, hearing them call out for you and having to make the decision to tune them out so that you can get work done. The guilt I wrestle with is colossal.

I’ve been fortunate that my job has allowed me to scale my hours back when I need to and increase as I see fit. It’s been a Godsend. Now, the girls are a little older and next year, they will both be in school all day. I decided it’s time to pursue a career that not only fits my lifestyle but also is something I love doing. After all, don’t we all deserve to have it all; the partner, the children, the career and the lifestyle that we want?

I’ve just started a couple new jobs. I still have my original job; editing and tutoring in English but I have added regular freelance writer to my repertoire. I can now be found at SmartMomStyle.Com and The Stir daily plus I am writing my weekly post at Aiming Low. It’s very exciting and absolutely my dream job. As it is starting any new job, it’s taken some concerted scheduling efforts on my part. My husband and I had to sit down, figure out a writing schedule, incorporate the kids schedule and make certain days and times off limits because they are reserved fro family time. It’s only been a week but I can see that the schedule is already making a huge difference in the amount and quality of time that I am spending with my family. It is also working wonders for alleviating the Mommy guilt.

I’m sure you working moms have many different ways to deal with the Mommy guilt, the schedules and how to make the best out of your time. I’d love to hear your stories and recommendations. I want to have it all and leave that working mom guilt out of it.

Photo Source

Bye Bye Working Mom Guilt

2012/03/07 21 comments

Marriage and Relationships

Separation~When Together is no Longer an Option

by Deborah Cruz 2012/02/20

written by Deborah Cruz

Separation is more than the space between two people

I am blessed that my heart is now a stranger to separation. Life is not always what I might have wanted or even what I had expected, every minute of every day. Sometimes things are harder than I think they should be or than I ever imagined they could be.

2012/02/20 7 comments

Throat Punch Thursday

Throat Punch Thursday~ Josh Powell; Filicidal Son-of-a-Bitch Edition

by Deborah Cruz 2012/02/09

written by Deborah Cruz

Josh Powell; Daddy & Husband Fail of Epic Proportions

Josh Powell; The Cowardly Killer~ What the Eff is up with all the shitty parents that keep ending up in the news for failing their children? Casey Anthony, Tarah Souder, Jackie Burkle and now, Josh Powell. Just another person on a long laundry list of those that should have been sterilized in the womb. Josh Powell is the father in Washington who,last Sunday, murdered his two small sons, Charlie and Brayden ( ages 5 and 7). The boys were brought to the door for their supervised visitation when Josh Powell grabbed the boys and pulled them in the house before promptly slamming the door in the face of the Child Protective Services worker who was supposed to be supervising the visit.The Child Protective Services worker immediately called 911 to report the incident, claiming that she smelled gasoline and was afraid for the boys lifes. She was told that 911 was reserved for emergencies. She said it was. Meanwhile, Josh Powell was taking a hatchet to his little boys ( a very small mercy in my opinion. At least they were dead before he set them on fire). Within minutes, the house exploded. Authority fail again.

Josh Powell; NOT Father of the Year

Josh Powell was under suspicion in the case of the disappearance of his wife, Susan Powell. Susan Powell disappeared in 2008. Josh Powell claimed to not knowing what had happened to his wife. Sticking to the story that he had taken his, then, 1 and 4 year old on an impromptu camping trip in the dead of winter in the middle of the night, because that’s not suspicious.

Initially, he was not even a suspect in the case of his missing wife. What? Who bought this crazy story? A child would be able to ascertain that the story he told the authorities was complete bullshit. If not for obvious reasons, then for the very reason that NO MOTHER would ever let someone take her small children camping in the middle of the night in the middle of a Utah winter. But the authorities could not see what the rest of us knew to be true.

Now, after 3 years and a change of heart, Josh Powell was under investigation in the disappearance of his wife, Susan Powell. Maybe it had something to do with his son remembering that when they went on their “camping trip” Mommy was in the trunk. It sounds like a bad Eminem song, Bonnie and Clyde. His sons, Brayden and Charlie, had been removed from his custody pending a psychosexual evaluation thanks to his father being a pedophile of sorts. Josh Powell has only been able to see his sons under the supervision of a caseworker.
To the authorities who were slow to respond to the 911 calls that the children might be in danger, the the law enforcement who didn’t poke hole sin Josh Powell’s ridiculous story of the midnight camping trip and ESPECIALLY to the piece of shit Josh Powell who killed his boys and allegedly killed his wife, throat Punch! The only thing Josh Powell did that was right in this whole scenario is have the good sense to blow himself up, of course, even that was a cowardly act to avoid incarceration.

Josh Powell: May You Burn On for Eternity

Hope you will link up your Throat Punch Thursday posts with me. I wanted to extend a personal invite to all of you to link up any posts in which you air a grievance, call out any asshatery,or just dole out a well deserved throat punch to one of societies shortcomings or political douche canoes. If not this week, I do it EVERY single Thursday and would love for any or all of you to join in! All you have to do is grab the Throat Punch Thursday button ( listed under the “about” tab at the top of the page), put it in your blog post and link up.Since GFC is abandoning Wordpress blogs in March please consider subscribing via RSS or email. May Brayden and Charlie Powell, rest in peace and be finally reunited with their mother’s loving arms. Josh Powell, may hell’s fire bring brighter and hotter just for you.

2012/02/09 4 comments

Throat Punch Thursday

Throat Punch Thursday ~Twins in Jackie Burkle Trunk Edition

by Deborah Cruz 2012/01/12

written by Deborah Cruz

Jackie Burkle ~What is wrong with the mother’s of the world? Honest to God, what the fuck is wrong with all these sub par, crazy bitch mom’s lately? It seems every other day in the news, there is a mom who has either lost a child to some sick bastard, killed her child, or her child has been killed because she was such a shitty mother in the first place. Case in point; Casey Anthony, Tarah Souder, etc. I can go on for days. I am so sick of reading about people killing kids. What has the world come to? Today’s throat punch recipient is yet another mom, Jackie Burkle, who has committed heinous acts while employing the Mommy moniker. Throat Punch to you Jackie Burkle of Huxley, Iowa. I don’t care what your circumstances may be, there is NO excuse for killing your two newborn twins.

Jackie Burkle; Cold Blooded Twin Killer?

(AP) DES MOINES, Iowa — An Iowa woman (*Jackie Burkle AKA CRAZY BITCH) accused of killing her newborn twin daughters after giving birth at home was ordered held Wednesday on $1 million bond. That’s it? I think they should keep her uterus as collateral.)

Jackie Burkle, 22 ( so young to be so fundamentally fucked up. Hmmm? How old was Casey Anthony when she got away with murder?), of Huxley, was charged with two counts of first-degree murder in the deaths of her newborn twins last week. She made her initial court appearance Wednesday and was being held in the Story County jail. ( Honestly, I’m surprised that she’s survived this long in general population. Criminal Mommies take baby killers pretty seriously!) A telephone message left for her attorney was not immediately returned.

Police found the infants’ bodies Saturday in the trunk of Burkle’s car, parked in front of her home, across the street from the police department in the town of about 2,800 people, about 20 miles north of Des Moines. ( Can we say world’s dumbest criminal? ACROSS.THE.STREET.FROM.THE.POLICE.DEPARTMENT!!!!!)

According to court records, police went to the duplex where Burkle lived after receiving a call to check on her. (Apparently,someone had an inkling that this broad was touched in the head. But I wonder,if they cared enough to call the cops to check on her; why not check on her themselves?)

Court records show Burkle was seen Jan. 5 at work and “appeared to be pregnant.” She was seen at work two days later and did not appear to be pregnant “with a completely different appearance.” ( Yeah, the look of a psychotic infant killer.I’d imagine that changes a person.)

Jackie Burkle :What were You thinking?

Police have released few details but said Wednesday that Burkle lived her with parents. A telephone message left at a number for a listing at the same address was not immediately returned.( how could her parents NOT know that she was pregnant? I notice if my girls get a new freckle.What kind of mental bend did they do to this girl to make her so afraid or disassociated to have a ~~baby~~ babies that she not only hid but killed upon their arrival? Who delivered these babies? It’s hard to imagine a 22 year old delivering twins on her own,right?)

Burkle’s family issued a statement Wednesday afternoon asking for privacy. ( privacy to get their story straight!)

“The events of the past few days have been incredibly devastating,” ( yeah, devastating that your daughter is a killer and going to end up on some crime show called When mothers Attack or getting herself Throat Punched for the entire interwebs to see!) her family said. “This is only the beginning of a very long and painful process. However, the family of Jackie Burkle does not have any comment at this time.”

Huxley Police Chief Mark Pote said Burkle is not married and that investigators were working to identity the children’s father. ( Yeah, because she’s probably like a praying mantis and after they mated she ripped his head off and ate it and then hid the rest of the body. The police may want to check the trunk of any other vehicles the family may own.) Burkle has no other children, ( who are living or can be found!) he said.

Neighbors and “several people” who were interviewed by police did not report hearing or seeing anything unusual, ( maybe Jackie Burkle is a Scientologist; silent birth bitches!) Pote said.

He declined to provide any details about how the children died or the condition of their bodies when they were found. ( I don’t even want to know the condition.) It also was unknown why Burkle gave birth at home (because Jackie Burkle had NO intention of keeping them.You look mighty conspicuous if you have your baby in a hospital and then kill them.These were Down Low twins.), Pote said.

“There’s going to be a lot of unanswered questions for everyone, including law enforcement, for a while,” ( No shit! This mental midget is not going to just give you all the details. Maybe they should haul in Casey Anthony’s ass and ask her, since obviously this Jackie Burkle was a fan! Wasn’t Caylee in the trunk too?) the chief said.

Bill Walljasper, a spokesman for Casey’s General Store, said a co-worker of Burkle’s called police after noticing a physical change in her appearance and became concerned about her health. ( Maybe they should have been concerned when Jackie Burkle was hiding a pregnancy for 10 months? I think nosey is more the appropriate word for what he felt not concern.)

He said Burkle, who had worked at the store for more than six months, was scheduled to work the day police were called. She had come into the store but Walljasper said he didn’t know if she came in to work or as a customer. The store is only a few blocks from Burkle’s home.( Maybe Jackie Burkle was trying to buy some supplies, you know; a shovel, lime, a hack saw. She should have bought a rope and hung herself.)

“It’s a very tragic event,” he said. “It’s a very hard one to cope with.” ( yeah, because the only way that it effects him is because he’s short a worker and his traffic will increase due to freaks who think its cool to walk where a murderer once stocked shelves.)

Autopsies were performed Monday but final results, including lab tests, will not be available for four to six weeks.

Michael Motsinger, special agent in charge with the Iowa Division of Criminal Investigation, said the infants survived the birth but he did not know if they were full-term.

Court records show when police arrived at her home Burkle agreed to go to a hospital and have a blood test that indicated she had been recently pregnant. She acknowledged she gave birth to twins and told officers where to find the bodies. ( I don’t know why she killed them but I’d say it was probably fear of something; whether it were being a mother or her parents finding out or no help or whatever, but she could have abandon them or gave them up for adoption!)

She also acknowledged that she “acted or committed certain acts to terminate the lives” of the babies on Jan. 6, court records show. ( well, at least I give her credit for being more of a woman than that piece of shit Casey Anthony , at least she told the truth and faced her crime.)

Motsinger declined to elaborate on how the infants were killed, citing the ongoing investigation.

A preliminary hearing was scheduled for Jan. 20. If convicted of first-degree murder, Burkle would face a mandatory sentence of life in prison without parole. ( unless they discover that her parents forced her to do it, or she was raped for the last 20 years by the couple who kidnapped her and made her their sodomized sex slave, the father was the devil or she is just completely fucking crazy then this is the best place for her. The only other place she deserves to be, in my opinion is a mental institution.I think she sounds pretty deranged, not necessarily a sociopath because by admitting guilt she is showing remorse in some way.) Right?)

I am sure there is more to this case than meets the eye. This Throat Punch is only my opinion on the facts that have been presented thus far. Everyone is innocent until proven guilty or confessing, right? But today on Throat Punch Thursday….

Jackie Burkle, Throat Punch for YOU!

Hope you will link up your Throat Punch Thursday posts with me. I wanted to extend a personal invite to all of you to link up any posts in which you air a grievance, call out any asshatery,or just dole out a well deserved throat punch to one of societies shortcomings or political douche canoes. If not this week, I do it EVERY single Thursday and would love for any or all of you to join in! All you have to do is grab the Throat Punch Thursday button ( listed under the “about” tab at the top of the page), put it in your blog post and link up. If you’d like to stay in the Throat Punch know, I’d love it if you would email subscribe ( as GFC will stop working soon).

If you are more in the mood for funny today, at noon EST , I will be live at Aiming Low talking about Releasing the Kraken! Oh yeah, I went there and I can;t believe I did but if you are into laughing really hard about bodily functions, stop over there and pick up some new lingo for what not even Beano can stop. What are your thoughts on the Jackie Burkle case? Is Jackie Burkle a cold blooded killer or just a victim herself?

2012/01/12 10 comments

Parenting

Baby Watch 2012

by Deborah Cruz 2012/01/02

written by Deborah Cruz

Baby Watch 2012 ~Today is one of the most important days of my life, other than getting married and having my own children, my baby sister is having her first baby and I couldn’t be more excited. She texted me this morning around 4 AM to say she was in the hospital. I know that she’s been nervous, especially since she reads my blog, but she is over the moon excited. As I type this post, she’s 10 cm dilated and the scrubs have been issued. This baby will be born as I write this post. Her life will be changed forever.

Baby Watch 2012

My sister is one of my best friends and to be mothers together has been a long time dream of ours. We had dreams of our children growing up together, playing together and being as close as siblings. Life gets hectic, as life always does, and we may not get to see one another as much as we might like to or talk daily as we once promised one another but still, she is in my heart and I am in hers. This is what sisters do. This is how I feel about both of my sisters.

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it ~ee cummings

So today while my sister was 3 hours away giving birth, I sat in my house waiting out a blizzard that had placed itself right smack between us, texting back and forth with her incessantly and wishing I was there but knowing I was not. It stung not to be there. I reminded her to breathe and to not get too stressed. I metaphorically held her hand and literally told her how to push. She consulted me about when to get the epidural and I explained in great detail and brutal honesty the escalating degrees of contractions and intricacies of labor/delivery. She got her epidural at 6 cm dilated and avoided any begging for death induced contractions as well as any stalling of labor. I was texted a photo of her partner in his scrubs and then it went silent. No texting, no phone call..just silence on my end and my mind went wild. I was so afraid that something went awry. And then I received this… and oh baby, all was right with the world.

Behold, the baby

The Most Beautiful Baby Born Today

Congratulations to my beautiful sister, Bertha, Brian and the absolutely most gorgeous little boy in the world. Love you all so much and wish I was there tonight. Titi Debi can’t wait to hold you in my arms and kiss those cheeks off, baby.

2012/01/02 7 comments

Personal

Friday Morning Happiness

by Deborah Cruz 2010/10/29

written by Deborah Cruz

It’s Friday and I just don’t feel like Fawk You’s. I’m having a happy Friday and so I want to take a moment to bask in the great things happening to me, right now:) (As evidence I don’t always..just bitch:)LOL

She’s wearing the crazy cowgirl hat because it was CRAZY hat day @ school.Halloween party was yesterday.

My Bella lost her first tooth last night in the middle of the night. I was awaken by a little face pressed to mine, whispering,”Mommy, my tooth fell out!Yippee!” She is so excited, she says it makes her a “real” kindergartner!I’m a little sad about it but I am really happy that she is so excited.Now, to figure out what the tooth fairy will be leaving and I gotta get on that tooth fairy pillow!STAT!

I know I am biased but this kid rocks my socks off!

An unsuspecting moment of joy appeared this morning, on the way back from kindergarten drop off, Bruno Mars’ Just the way you are came on the radio and it is one of my favorites because of what it represents. I sing it to my girls all the time. This morning, from the back seat I hear a little voice lifting up.I peak in my rear view and there is my 3 year old singing it at the top of her lungs and my heart swooned.Girl you’re amazing..just the way you are!!

[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjhCEhWiKXk?fs=1]

Next, I am ecstatic for my Big Guy to come home! I look forward to Fridays like most people look forward to Christmas and so do my girls. The Big Guy is a wonderful father and husband. He is a very hands on parent and if I need a nap or a couple hours to myself, he knows before I even need to ask and tells me to go do it. He really does complete me.I absolutely love me some Big Guy!

We are also really ecstatic about the fact that my wonderful brother in law has popped the question to his gorgeous girlfriend.We couldn’t be happier.I can’t wait to have another sister and my girls are over the moon to have “the Great” be their auntie! We love you both and we are wishing you a long life of happiness together!

J.dot.A.dot, this song is for you…We’re so happy that You found her!

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmbzU6DGeno?fs=1]

Next, I want to wish a very happiest of birthdays to my baby sister, Bekiluki (her Papi appointed nickname from our childhood.We all have them:). Girl, this is going to be the year big things happen for you. I feel it in my bones. Remember, Monday, November 1st is the first day of the rest of our lives.We pinky promised!I’ll be right there to hold your hand little sister, always! You can do anything you want to in this life.You deserve happiness! Go get your happiness!! Love you!

Bertie this is for you.Listen to the lyrics and know that you are amazing and I am always here for you,little sister.There is a light in your eyes….

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-9D8Jo-bj4?fs=1]

Last but not least, Happy Friday, everyone! This song makes me happy spontaneously,hope it can brighten yours, as well.

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1ywFh2AZLg?fs=1]

Happy Halloween from the Truthful Mommy household!

[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

2010/10/29 10 comments

Personal

Wordless Wednesday; My Birthday

by Deborah Cruz 2010/09/29

written by Deborah Cruz

2010/09/29 12 comments

Confessions Mom Life

To A Night we’ll never forget

by Deborah Cruz 2010/09/28

written by Deborah Cruz

I’m sure you all are on pins and needles wondering just how my birthday celebration went, so I’m going to tell you..the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the TRUTH!

The day started off in a bit of a hectic haze. We were trying to get the house in some kind of order before the grandparents showed up for babysitting duty. God Bless ’em! Without these two beautiful souls, the birthday celebration would not have been even remotely possible.
After frantic running around like chickens with our heads chopped off, finally we were dressed, packed and ready to hit the road.Bella decided that at the point that I was walking out the door would be a fabulous time to cue the tears. Nothing like a raging case of Mommy guilt to start the journey off with. I was determined. I had tickets to the 3 pm production of Romeo and Juliet ( I will elaborate on that in an upcoming post) and I had to go. So, I gave the girls one last hug and kiss and left them for the first time ever overnight.

It was a long night, so I will just post a quick synopsis of the entire night. After the show, we hit the hotel for a quick change into our night in the city outfits. Mine consisted of a black and white dress, 5 inch heels and an application of my nighttime makeup.It really is a miracle what a difference a little bit of time and effort can make in your appearance and your self confidence.

This is me and my little sister sometime after dinner and a couple cocktails.

We had dinner at the fabulous Japonaise downtown. Where we all consumed obscene amounts of sushi, martinis, wine and saki. There was never a lull in the conversation. I was so content sitting in the corner surrounded by some of the people I love the most in the world, my sister and brother in law, my brother in law and his beautiful girlfriend, and my best friend/sister and her amazing husband and last but certainly not least, the love of my life, the Big Guy! As you can see from the picture above, I could not stop smiling all night long. I didn’t even care that I was turning 30 ( for the 8th time). I was in the moment and drinking it all in.

Dinner was followed by dancing at a Latin themed bar. By this time, we are all feeling pretty good. So good, in fact, that my feet were not even bothering me from wearing the 5 inch hooker heels for 5 hours at that point which I found to be a bit peculiar. I went with it. It felt amazing for 1 night to be looked at like I was a woman having a birthday, not a Mommy taxing children to and fro. Of course, you can take the Mommy out of the house but you can’t take the Mommy out of the woman. This became painfully aware while the girls and I were shaking our asses on the dance floor. There were 2 girls, probably about 21, dancing behind me and they kept bumping into me. At first, I ignored it. Then I couldn’t take it anymore. And what was my reaction? Imagine if you will, me 5’7″ ( without heels on) wearing those 5 inch hooker heels..towering above these girls at a whopping 6 foot tall. They were maybe 5’1″. I swiftly turn around, after being knocked almost off my feet for the 10th time..I bend down, pointing my finger and said, “Hey! You girls have got to stop this. You are going to knock someone down!” They said ,”OK, we’re sorry.” They looked completely shocked and that’s when I realized…I just scolded them on the dance floor. You know, like I would do a 3 and 5 year old. They stopped bumping into me, but they were giggling..probably because they thought I was crazy! Funny how if I would have been their age, I would have turned around and said “Look Bitch, stop bumping into me or I’m going to beat your ass!” Funny how being a mother changes you in the most unexpected ways. That and the fact that I’m pretty sure I would have fallen and killed myself had I gotten into a tussle in those shoes:)LOL

The night started to wind down, by this point the top of my foot had been hyper-extended due to an inordinate amount of time in the hooker heels ( which I absolutely adore by the way and will wear at any chance possible) but obviously my foot was remembering that I was not 21 anymore. We were down to 4 troopers left. I was savoring every single moment of this night. Then it happened, you know that moment when you lose all of your good senses and you do that one last stupid thing. Well, I decided to cap off the evening, we all needed two last shots; 1 of tequila and a lemon drop. Talk about buyers remorse! So, we toast to my birthday and we head to the dance floor. Almost immediately, I realized the shots may have been too much. I felt discombobulated, people were moving in slow motion. Then the next thing I remember was standing in the rain, barefooted waiting as my brother in law tried desperately to hail a cab at around 2 in the morning.Flash forward, I remember hugging on to the toilet for dear life. Yes, very mature behavior for someone of my age. Right? The next thing I can logically recollect was waking up, feeling like I had eaten a bowl of cotton, and had a splitting headache.

I decided that I needed to try and get mobile as we had a drive home and checkout was noon. I sucked it up and headed for a shower, after making a pit stop at my best friend the toilet and puking up what can only be classified as pea green bile, I finally got in the shower to wash away the sins of the previous night. I was feeling a little better..refreshed. Then it happened, as I was brushing my teeth…I noticed something looked out of place. Remember in the Hangover when they wake up the next morning and the one guy is missing his tooth? Well, I wasn’t missing a tooth! But I do have a mysterious black eye! After much piecing together of the last hours of the night,the Big Guy and I came to the conclusion that while I was hugging the toilet, I must have began to doze and slipped and hit my head on the toilet rim. Classy, right? Probably explains some of the headache, as well.Thank God its just on the outside rim of my eye, so it looks like I have eye make up on.Imagine trying to explain that one at kindergarten pick up at the catholic school. There you have it, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the unabridged absolutely embarrassing truth. But what a night it was…to a night we’ll never forget! Or is it remember?

Stu: “Why can’t we remember a godd*** thing from last night?”

Phil: “Because we obviously had a great f***ing time.”

2010/09/28 9 comments

Personal

The House that Built Me

by Deborah Cruz 2010/08/26

written by Deborah Cruz

I’m feeling a little nostalgic for my home and my parents. Who knows maybe it has something to do with my girls and all these firsts for them of late, the letting go and moving on a letting go some more, maybe it has to do with the loneliness and upheaval of my husband being 300 miles away on a daily basis, or maybe the fact that my Mom has been ill and I have been worried about her health…missing my Mommy. They say love makes a house a home and that home is where the heart is. I believe that. I grew up in a small house with 6 brothers and sisters, but we loved each other. It may not have been much to look at but it was home. It is where I grew from a child to a woman.

2010/08/26 1 comment

Newer Posts

Older Posts