The TRUTH About Motherhood

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Just say No to Kiwi fuzz
Wasn’t it yesterday that I was cleansing my face with Noxema, wiping it religiously with alcohol & then moisturizer…all in the name of preventing a pimple? You know, because I’d get 1 every other month due to hormones. But it was the END of the world.Ah, the teen years. I had so much wildly curly hair that I had no idea what to do with it, other than complain and wish I had less. Straighter.I was a perfectly healthy size 10 but I wanted to be a 7,so ,obviously, I was never happy. Always, working out and staring at myself in the mirror, wishing that I was someone else. My teeth were so bright white that they could blind someone and thanks to braces they were unnaturally straight.Unnaturally.I even complained about that. I was 5’7″,I wanted to be 5’8″ because that’s how tall you had to be to be a model and all the girls in the magazine were at least that tall. I had to be at the beach ALL the time because I NEEDED a tan.Did I mention that I’m Mexican…naturally olive. I constantly had perfectly manicured fingers and toes because,really, what kind of manual labor was I doing? Waking to school? Lifting a hand to flip all that hair?That was me at 17.
This morning, I revisited an old friend of mine,you may know him Biore strips.Oh my, Jeez!How long has it been since I’ve had time to give any attention to myself? Seriously, when I pulled that little strip off..let’s say it revealed some astonishing things. Either I had 10 years worth of deep black heads or I have began sprouting hair in yet another place that I don’t want it.Either way, when I puled that strip off..it looked like kiwi fuzz. I assure that I am not walking around in public looking like this because if I were, let’s be certain of one thing, the Big Guy would most certainly have brought it to my attention. This triggered a chain reaction. I realized that my simple regime of keeping away the zits has evolved in to a full fledged routine. When did this happen? Now there is cleanser, deep cleanser, astringent, toner and that’s just to keep it clean and my pores from looking like an escape hatch from within. Then I have to add wrinkle night cream because God knows that I’ve got to keep those suckers at bay.
All that hair that I was *ahem* complaining about, well, I’ve noticed that it’s thinned out considerably from stress of life.Now, I wish I had that big crazy bush atop my head.Of course, it has began to grow rampantly on other parts of my body. My upper lip, my arms, my legs, my eyebrows…you know just all the places that a woman doesn’t want all that hair. Size 10? Well, let’s just say that I’ve not seen size 10 in about as many years! YEARS! In college, I was a 5 and then somewhere along the way I passed 10 right up on my journey to size 14, 16, 18,16, 14.Things have been stretched out and moved about and nothing looks like it did when I was 17 on this body.This body is foreign to me.This body has lived. Years of drinking coffee to wake up, Diet Coke to keep going and wine to go to sleep has made it necessary that I use whitening mouth wash, whitening strengthening tooth paste, and I’m probably going to have to move on up to full on whitening bleach soon.Can someone please invent clear coffee? Peryl, can you put a word in with Starbucks?
Tan? I am so pale most of the year now that I am pretty sure that I glow. I’ve seen the beach 3 times in the last 10 years. I used to my entire summer lying on the beach frolicking in the water. Now, you have to bribe me with money and booze to even put on a suit and go in public. The poor fingers and toes, they have been held hostage by Mommyhood for far too long. It started with pregnancy hormones drying all my skin up and my poor feet have yet to recover. I am in such desperate need of a pedicure that I’m actually ashamed to let the spa manicurists see my feet. It’s so far past the point of no return that I may need a big burly man manicurists with a sand blaster.I’m seriously thinking of going a state over to have this miracle performed just because I’m too ashamed of the possibility that I may run into them in the general public. I don’t think I could handle their judging eyes and knowing looks.
My point? What happened to all the waiting to grow up? I squandered all my beauty trying to grow up and now I’m etching closer and closer to 40 and trying to hold on to every ounce of youth I have left. I used to wake up bright eyed, bushy tailed and beautiful…now, I wake up tired! At least I get to look at my bright eyed,bushy tailed beautiful girls, right? Wrong! It’s not enough anymore to just bask in their glow. Mama is making a declaration..Mama needs to give herself some of the TLC that she’s been giving away by the bushels to others.There is no way that I’m walking around looking like my nose is covered in kiwi fuzz….anymore.KIWI FUZZ! I think I just vomited in my mouth a little at the very thought. I’m seeing a manicure and pedicure in my very near future, as well. Flip flop season is on the horizon.Time to make that dreaded trip to the next state over to meet with the big burly manicurist.
What do you do to make yourself feel beautiful? What do you think is the most important reason for you to be beautiful to you? Let’s all get our pretty back.hell, let’s bring our sexy back. And for God’s sake, Just say no to Kiwi Fuzz!

2011/03/15
Throat Punch Thursday ~ Trayvon Martin & the Racist Vigilante Edition
Trayvon Martin this one’s for you
This week’s Throat Punch is being given out in honor of Trayvon Martin. As a mother, my heart aches for Trayvon Martin’s parents. As a human, I am outraged. As a minority, I am fighting mad. This week’s Throat Punch is awarded to George Zimmerman the vigilante bigot who thought it was appropriate to shoot a boy in cold blood for the simple fact that the color of his skin was brown. I know that bigots are afraid of anyone different, especially when the packaging is a darker shade or two than their own skin. This is not the first time this has happened nor do I suspect this will be the last.
Trayvon Martin was a Good Kid
Trayvon Martin, from all accounts, was a good kid who happened to come across a not so good adult with a trigger happy finger. I can’t imagine the pain and anger that Trayvon Martin’s parents feel at the death of their son nor do I ever want to know it. Isn’t every parent’s biggest fear that their child is going to come into harms way? A rogue drunken driver, a stray bullet, a crazed assailant, cancer, abduction, stranger danger, choking on a raisin, getting hit by a car, wrecking while texting? There are so many ways that we worry about our children getting into harms way, every day. We don’t expect simply walking home from the store to be a particularly dangerous scenario. Walking home from the store should not be deadly, should it?
What is this world coming to that we can tolerate this sort of behavior? How can we stomach it as a people? Zimmerman says that it was self- defense. Evidence proves otherwise. Just because he was a racist who felt threatened by the color of a boy’s skin is not a legitimate reason for shooting Trayvon Martin dead and robbing his parents of their son forever. There will never be any little Trayvon Martin’s running to his mother’s lap. She will not see her son graduate from school. She will not get to dance the Mother/ son dance at Trayvon’s wedding. She will not get to see the man her son was supposed to become. She will never get to know that man. He will not be there in her old age to hold her hand and comfort her at the end. Now, his parents are left with a giant void in their chest where their heart used to be. The great joy they once knew upon seeing that baby Trayvon Martin be born has been replaced by pain and hatred. Hatred for George Zimmerman.
Nothing can make this right. Apparently, the big debate now is whether or not George Zimmerman used a racial slur when addressing Trayvon Martin. Truly, the fact remains, whether he used a slur or not, that he is a bigot and shot Trayvon Martin in cold blood for no other reason that he felt threatened. Zimmerman was threatened for the simple fact that he had a predisposed notion to feel afraid of black men. This is racism, whether there is a slur attached or not. The sentiment is the same. The result the same. Trayvon Martin is still dead.
Trayvon Martin may you Rest in Peace
Photo

2012/03/22
Resolving to Incite the Revolution of 2012
I originally posted Resolving to Incite a Revolution last January. It was a great reminder of things I wanted to do in the upcoming year. I have been working diligently on this revolution for the past 12 months but I thought I could use the reminder to continue on with enthusiasm. Life is too short to be unhappy. Sometimes we just need to be reminded of that fact. This is your wake up call; our reminder that we’ve got to incite a revolution in this world an fight for what we want out of life.
Resolving to incite a revolution
~I am way past the point of making resolutions.After all, what the hell is a resolution anyways, nothing more than an empty promise, a flimsy threat at the most.Nope this year, I am declaring war. I’m inciting a revolution.I am resigning myself to a little shock and awe!
*No MORE Cheating! You heard me. I don’t mean that I’m cheating on the Big Guy, never! I mean cheating on diets, cheating myself out of life, cheating myself short on opportunities, cheating my girls out of my complete attention and devotion.
*Embracing Exhaustion! Oh yeah, I am about to make it my mission to exhaust every single iota of potential that these bones have in them. No more sitting on the sidelines letting life happen to me or waiting for things to be done for me, this broad is grabbing life by the balls and making him my bitch. I am going to work this potential so hard, its not going to know which way is up. As the old cheer goes, “Be aggressive..B*EE* EE Agressive!” I’m about to be the change I want to see in my world!
Resolving to incite a revolution
*Organization, Organization, Location! I am a planner, a scheduler, a write it down on paper and DOER! Life seems to have gotten out of control.I don’t mean a little bit off kilter, I mean it has spun right the hell off its axis.Well, NO MORE! Hey, life! Guess what? I AM IN CHARGE..NOT YOU! So, I’m putting pen to paper ( yes, I’m old school like that sometimes) and I’m making a schedule. I’m waking up earlier, getting more sleep, not rushing through life because I’ve planned accordingly, and ( because I am still a bit reckless) I’m even allowing copious amounts of free time for spontaneity.
*Love Hard, Love often! I am making sure that the Big Guy and the girls know how much I love them and how important they are to me. I’m not referring to telling them, speaking the words. I do this already, several times a day. In fact, I’ve told the girls ( constantly) since birth “Guess what? I have a secret.Want to know what it is?” They used to get all excited, their eyes like saucers and ask”Yes, Mommy. What is it?” My answer, I’d bend down and whisper in their tiny ear ,” I Love you more than anything.” Now, they just give me a sheepish smile and say, “What is it Mommy? Tell me!” But more than saying the words, I want to show them with my thoughts and actions.I want to be present in every moment with these family and friends that I have been blessed to be surrounded by in my life. I want them to know in their heart that when I say “I love you” it means..forever, for always, for good, for bad, for ups, for downs, for skinny, for fat, for Always. When they speak, I want them to know I am listening and that what they say matters to me. No more decorum.I am loving on my littles, the Big Guy, my family and friends with an embarrassing amount of exuberance. I want them to feel it to their core…I love them.
Resolving to incite a revolution
*Prioritize, Perspective, and Present The only way to get it all done, in conjunction with my handy schedule, I have to prioritize what’s really important to me and my family. This depends on my perspective. I am choosing to utilize my own perspective ..finally. I am not considering all the outside factors, aside from my girls. I’m also willfully choosing to see life as ALWAYS half full and at my dispense because, in reality, it is. My only limitations have been those I’ve set upon myself. No more! Last but not least, I’m living in the moment. I’m embracing every stinking moment as it happens. I’m not planning for next year, next week, tomorrow…I’m living in the now..RIGHT NOW,with my girls and the Big Guy. I want to enjoy the small things of my life as they happen, not in 20 years in retrospect as a memory. I want to feel the full effect of my life.
*Forgiveness I am forgiving myself for not being perfect. I am not the perfect wife. I am not the perfect Mom. I am not the perfect friend or daughter.I don’t have the perfect body. I don’t have the perfect house. My temper leaves something to be desired. I over extend myself. I expect too much from myself and others. I fall short, in a lot of ways. But that doesn’t mean that my efforts do not have merit. I am hitting reset for everyone I know. I’m passing out forgiveness like kool aid at a Jonestown party. NO more Mommy guilt, no more fatty McFatty guilt, no more I’m not the perfect wife.My house is disheveled. My kids aren’t perfect.No more, I wish I was Bree Van De Kamp bullshit. From this moment forward, I am going to try my best at every endeavor that I choose to undertake with my priority being excelling at being a good example of a the kind of woman I want my daughters to see me as. I will never be perfect, and that is perfectly acceptable, as long as I am living my life as the best me. *This is the one that I REALLY have to work hard at!”
*Incite a Revolution I’m initiating a change in my way of life. I am actively taking steps to become the person that I want to be.That woman who lives inside of me and has been too afraid for a long time to take a gamble.The woman who, even though I hate to admit this, I have realized has been so afraid of failure that I have let it stave off success. No More! No more excuses. I’m not afraid of failure anymore.If I fall, I will just pick myself up and try, try again!But today, I am inciting a revolution between the version of myself that I’ve let myself get comfortable with and the woman I know I can be. I’m starting by setting fire to excuses and self doubt and I’m marching forward with self confidence.
What have you resolved to incite revolution about in your New Year? How are you going to go about succeeding? Happiest of New Years to each and everyone of you.Thank you so much for being part of the TRUTH about Motherhood community. 2012 is going to bring great things, I know it! Hang on to your hats ladies, it’s going to be battle of epic proportions but everything worth having in this life is worth fighting for. Are you ready to incite your own revolution in 2012?
The Revolution Starts Today
2011/12/31
**WINNER ANNOUNCED**Fashion Haul Friday~ $100 Tea Collection Gift Certificate #Giveaway
Fashion Haul Friday ~ Tea Collection This week’s fashion find is an amazing Chica cable sweater by Tea Collection for women. I know that we all know and love tea collection for their kids clothes. We mom’s live for tea collection to have a sale for our back to school style and baby clothes. Tea collection is who we look to dress our children. Most of our children are outfitted in their awesome designer children’s clothes, but did you realize they bring the awesome in women’s clothes as well? I never even considered shopping there for myself, until now! I’m a Tea Collection convert.
Tea Collection for the Stylish Mom
I received this AWESOME Chica Cable sweater in phantom from Tea’s Modern Mexico collection, which is so appropriate because I just happen to be a little Modern Mexico myself. I ordered a large and it is very roomy. This worked out nicely for me because I am a little over gifted in the chest area and have issue finding clothing that fit appropriately in that area. If you are tiny, I suggest you get a size smaller than you normally wear since it fits so generously. It is made of the softest merino wool that I have ever felt but at the same time has some weight to it. I paired it over a long sleeve jersey shirt and it worked out as a light weight coat. I also added to the outfit a pair of cute jeans and some black UGGs. I took Mommy Chic to a whole new level. If you wanted to be more casual on the go Mom you could swap out jeans for leggings, if you’ve got the ass for it.You’ve been spinning, show off what you’ve done. Or if you want to dress it up a bit more, add some black dress boots or booties and pair the Chica Cable Sweater over something more feminine and flouncy! I may have to swap out my permanent seat in sweat pants purgatory for this Chica Cable Sweater, it is so comfy and soft. It’s like wearing one of those cuddly, warm baby blankets but with style and fashion minus the spit up and judgement.
Tea Collection; Mom Chic has never been so Fashionable
Features:
Hola chica, have you met your new cardi? Big geo cables, dolman sleeves, an oversize draped collar. A little bit Mexican and a lot modern. Surprise yourself with how chic it looks layered over something a bit more dressy. Imported.
- 100% Merino Wool
- Dry Clean
To recap, I LOVE this sweater and it has made me fall deeply in love with Tea Collection for women. Not only have they made me fall in love with them, they will make you fall in love with them too. Tea Collection is offering a $100 gift certificate to one of my lucky subscribers to use on anything you want. You can buy something for yourself ( which I highly recommend) or you can buy something for your little ones. All you have to do is fill out the rafflecopter survey below and it will guide you through all the various ways to enter.*MANDATORY: Be sure to leave a comment at the bottom of the post for EACH ( every single) entry in the comments section. Good Luck!Happy Holidays to you all.

a Rafflecopter giveaway
*Disclaimer: Tea Collection is providing the gorgeous prize for the giveaway and provided me with the product to review. The opinion expressed in this post is my own honest review of the product.
The Tea Collection: Making Women as well dressed as their children
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2011/12/24
Embracing the Unexpected

Last week, the Big Guy had an unexpected job interview. Unexpected because he loves the job he has, it’s his dream job. The past three years have been insanely chaotic for our family. I started this blog, the spring that my husband first had to leave us for a job; my daughters we’re 2 and 4. They are currently, almost 5 and 7. Many of you know the story of our two-year commuter marriage and all the upheaval that has come with that. The moving, the separation, the hurt and finally, the reunion, we have survived as a family. It’s been really hard. (more…)
2012/04/25
Maggie Goes On A Diet
Maggie Goes on A Diet ~ Is a new book with a targeted reading level of ages 4-8 years old and coming out in October of this year by author Paul M.Kramer. It is complete with cartoon like pictures and will be readily accessible and easy to read by your preschool-elementary aged child.
Synopsis: This book is about a 14 year old girl who goes on a diet and is transformed from being extremely overweight and insecure to a normal sized girl who becomes the school soccer star. Through time, exercise and hard work, Maggie becomes more and more confident and develops a positive self image.
Maggie Goes on A Diet; Don’t do it!
I have not read the book, or seen any excerpts, nor will I. This book will not be allowed in my house. I am the mother of two little girls and a survivor of eating disorder and forever a fighter of body dysmorphic disorder. Never heard of it? Let me help you become educated by defining something that has defined me for most of my life.
According to the Mayo Clinic: Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a type of chronic mental illness in which you can’t stop thinking about a flaw with your appearance — a flaw that is either minor or imagined. But to you, your appearance seems so shameful that you don’t want to be seen by anyone. Body dysmorphic disorder has sometimes been called “imagined ugliness.”
When you have body dysmorphic disorder, you intensely obsess over your appearance and body image, often for many hours a day. You may seek out numerous cosmetic procedures to try to “fix” your perceived flaws, but never will be satisfied.
A leading Cause: Environment. Your environment, life experiences and culture may contribute to body dysmorphic disorder, especially if they involve negative experiences about your body or self-image.
This has consumed me since about the age of puberty and will probably be a battle that I fight every day for the rest of my life. I have been told that I basically can not trust anything I see in the mirror. Do you know how that feels? Can you imagine not being able to trust your own judgement? It may seem inconsequential or vain but when you don’t see the real you in the mirror, that becomes a problem. This goes way beyond being unhappy with gain of 10-15 pounds. This is never being satisfied with my appearance.When you never feel physically good enough, or sub par, it takes a toll on your life in almost every facet. It’s a little easier for me now because I know that the disorder exists within me. With therapy and education, I have been able to begin to not allow the disorder to define me . I know that I will probably never be satisfied with what I see in the mirror and that is not a reflection of some ineptitude on my part but a symptom of the disease, in that I can take some small comfort.
Maggie Goes On a Diet
This book cover alone disturbs me deeply. This may seem innocuous but the message it sends to a child will be profound. This is how my reflection has always been but the opposite. No matter how small I was, I only saw someone large and ugly in the mirror. Not that the two go hand in hand, they certainly do not but for me (in my disease) I always needed to be just a little bit better. A little bit taller. A little bit smaller. My hair a little bit longer. A little bit curlier. A little bit straighter. My lips a little bit fuller. My eyes a little bigger. My nose, oh the bump on my nose, was monumental..practically a mountain. Boobs perkier. Legs longer. Fingers longer.Do you get the picture? No matter what I may have looked like, it was NEVER enough. For me, this book fosters this behavior. It sets a standard that perfection in appearance equals perfection in all areas of your life. This is simply not true. It never has been . It is an impossible standard. The next step in the progression would be eating disorders. Obviously, if you think that having the perfect body equals having the perfect life you are going to do all tat is necessary to reach that goal.
I do not believe that children should ever be put on a diet per se. I understand restricted diets for medical reasons; diabetes, allergies, etc. but just because a child gains a small amount of weight, I don’t think they should be put on a “diet”. It is our responsibility, as parents, to insure that our children get good quality healthy food and live a active lifestyle. We are the examples. We are the caregivers. I have had my own issues with food that I have had to deal with.They were dealt with long before I had children but it has made me aware that it is my responsibility to make healthy choices in mind, body and soul for the sake of my children. When anyone, a child or adult hears the word diet it instantly has a negative connotation associated with it. I feel that using the word diet with a child is imprinting a flaw in their mind. If I had it my way, my girls will never worry about the scale. I feed them a balanced diet and keep them active with play and dance. I don’t want them to know or care what they weigh. I just want them to be satisfied with who they are and to know that they are beautiful and perfect, as is. This book undermines that lesson and teaches children that to be beautiful, popular and a star of the team , you must be aesthetically pleasing to others and beautiful. This book cover alone screams the message that to be happy with your life, you must be perfect in the mirror. Shouldn’t the message be that to be happy in your life, you must be beautiful on the inside and satisfied with your place in the world not the size of your dress?
Just Say No to Maggie Goes on A Diet
2011/08/29
Change~I just had a Come To Jesus Meeting..with Jose!
*Change anyone?* It’s that time of year again. You know what ‘m referring to, no not back-to-school, that was Monday. It’s a little over a month until my birthday and you know that can only mean ONE thing…mental, physical and spiritual inventory must be taken. This is my process so this morning I had my first ( of what will be many, many) come to Jesus meetings over the next year. I had it with Jose. No, it’s not some nickname we Latinos have for the almighty, it’s my little brother who is one ( as I found out the hard way this morning) hardcore, ass kicking personal trainer.Seriously, it’s his profession. I knew that he knew how to take care of himself, obviously. He’s always been in top physical shape since he was old enough to lift his first dumbbell. But we’ve never lived in the same city. Now, we do. This is Jose.
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This is Jose. This is 200 lbs. of badass personal training in a 160 lb. bag of cuteness.I think the photo says it all *Charming*
He who rejects change is the architect of decay~Harold Wilson
Doesn’t he look sweet? That’s what I thought. What you are looking at, my friends, is my salvation ( physically speaking anyways). Two years ago, we moved to a new city. My life hit the reset button. I joined Weight Watchers and lost 25 pounds. Life was good. Then the Big Guy was downsized. Life was not so good.I had to quit the program and since I am very apparently a stress eater, I ate those 25 pounds right back on and with them came a few more. I was depressed about it. Former eating disorder girl say what. It’s really hard trying to stay the straight and narrow when what you are doing is so NOT working. But I do. I fight the urge every day to seek the comfort of the path that I know. I fight to be a good example for my girls. I fight to be the change I want to see in the world for the young girls today. I want to be better than my circumstances.
Then last year, right smack dab in the middle of the whole commuter marriage fiasco, I was offered an amazing opportunity to be a Nutrisystem Nation Blogger. Again, I lost that 20 pounds and felt amazing. But then life started spinning out of control again. Then we had to put the house on the market, we were going to be moving and I was stressed beyond capacity. There was my old friend ( arch nemesis) food to comfort away the uncertainty. That is if comfort means to bury it deep down and surround it by a giant hug of fat. But the only uncertainty it remedied was the uncertainty of whether or not I would gain back those 20 pounds again. Guess what? I did! What can I say those damn 20 pounds llloooovvvveeee me! Me, not so much feeling that love.
If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit
That brings us to this morning. We are moved. I am hitting the reset again. Hopefully for the last time for a long time. I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I am happy. I know it. I feel it in my very core ( well, that and a terrible side stitch that I haven’t been able to shake since my brother boot-camp). I have committed myself to the ~~drill Sargent~~ my little brother and made a promise to myself…I will feel comfortable in this skin of mine.Body dysmorphic disorder and Bulimia/Anorexia can all be damned. I’m not having it, ever again. With the help of my brother, the MOST invested, no nonsense personal trainer that anyone could ever ask for, fueled by a genuine concern and love for his sister, the next year will bring about huge change. I have a goal that I want to hit by my birthday next year and he is going to help me reach my goal. This is one of those moments in life where you are standing at a cliff and you have to decide if you want to take a chance and jump or maintain the status quo. I’m jumping! After this week, I may not be walking but I am jumping.
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We're going to call this the official BEFORE photo. I'll allow you to see me a sweaty mess but sweaty ponytail, no makeup and luggage under my eyes..A girl's got to maintain some tiny dignity:)
This journey is about more than just losing weight. It is about changing my entire lifestyle..forever. It’s no diets or gimmicks, it’s me facing the mirror and taking a good hard look at myself. It’s hard work personal training with my brother and learning to make good, healthy choices with real food. It’s me learning to live in the world. It’s me learning to love my body for all that it is and none of what it’s not. This is me, yelling it from the top of the cliff. I am proclaiming it to the world. It will happen. And this time when the first 25 pounds comes off, I’m giving all the clothes that are too big to the homeless shelter.I will do it every 25 pounds until all I am left with are the clothes that fit who I become.
My change starts right now
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2011/08/17
The First rule of Baby Talk is that there is NO Baby Talk!
Baby Talk, I’ve never been a fan. Don’t get me wrong, when I see and adorable wee little ones my mind ( and uterus) loses all it’s God given sense and turns into a baby scooping maniac ( just as much as the next Mommy) but I don’t do the whole baby talk thing. I may have done it before I had children, who can remember back that far but since having my girls, I’ve always felt the need to only speak to them in complete sentences, using correct vocabulary and syntax. This probably has a lot to do with the extensive vocabularies my girls now have at 4 and 6. It also, probably explains why they were speaking in full sentences around the age of 18 months. We never used baby talk, just like we never used binkies and in doing so they were never needed or wanted them.
Baby Talk
So, basically for the past 6 years I’ve walked around the world thinking to myself, ” That Poor Mom has to figure out a way to get that damn binkie out of that 5 year old’s mouth before kindergarten ( kindergarten teachers have no tolerance for binky suckers (some of them are quite cold blooded..the teachers not the kids)” or “Awww, that little kid is going to get made fun of because they are still talking baby talk.That Poor Mommy and baby.” My girl still spoke with a baby voice when she started kindergarten but it has always been in complete sentences, even if her R’s were soft and she sounded like a teenie tiny mouse when she spoke. It was complete,understandable sentences..damn it.
Oh but don’t hate me too much yet, NOW at the ripe old ages of 4 and 6 the girls have decided that it might be fun to play with the binkies they found from when they were newborn. They chew them like they are candy. Apparently, they dually serve as child chew toys for the older set. Who knew? And that baby talk that has never existed in our house…well, my girls like to “play” baby and talk …BABY TALK! Have you any idea how maddening it is to hear a 6 year old purposely talk in baby talk? It is one of the most annoying things I have ever been witness to.
Just Say No to Baby Talk
I asked her repeatedly to quit the baby talk but she wanted no part of my pleas. I was becoming increasingly frustrated. At my wits end, I decided to turn the tables and start using baby talk when I spoke to her. Judging from the wide eyed, gaping mouth expression that it was met with, I could see that my girl was NOT approving of my speaking in baby talk.
“Mommy, you sound crazy. It’s so annoying.STOP!”
Me:”I will, if you will!”
Shes 6 so obviously, she wasn’t giving it up without a fight. She continued to baby talk around the house. She thinks it sounds cute when she does it. Let me assure, she is cute but the baby talk is NOT. It was seriously driving the Big Guy and myself batty. This had to be nipped in the bud. School is starting in a couple of weeks. So, I continued to baby talk too, even going as far as to do it in public. The horror ( for both of us). This, apparently, was enough to scare her into submission. My game of baby talk chicken has turned out in my favor. Next, I’m applying this thought process to everything. Never underestimate the power of a healthy dose of embarrassment. You see, the first rule of baby talk is there is no baby talk!
What bad habit has your child picked up that you had to break? What did you do? Was is binky addiction? Bottle retention? Lovey enslavement? Hitting? Biting? Attachment fixation? A jonesing for the thumb? Or a good healthy does of
Baby Talk abuse

*No children were abusively embarrassed by this post on baby talk. All embarrassment was in moderation and in the realm within God given rights of all parents to bestow upon their offspring, especially when trying to thwart the use of excessive baby talk.
2011/08/01
Am I a Good Parent?
Am I a good parent? I ask myself that question almost constantly. I’ve been spending a lot of time lately mulling over what makes a good parent? More importantly, what constitutes bad parenting? I just can’t can’t seem to get away from it. No matter the issue, I want confirmation that I am doing it right..not wrong. I want to be the cool mom who gives all the great parenting tips because I have my collective parenting shit together but I AM NOT!
Good Parent?
My parenting skills are not without there purpose. I’ve learned a few things over the years. My girls have thus far survived pregnancy unscathed, toddlerhood without too many gaping holes and moved steadily into the part of full blown preschoolers. But here is where it’s getting tricky. This is where I am seeing the glimmer of therapy to come in their little eyes.
Ok, so maybe I am a little phobic about bugs. Jeez, can I help it that it freaks me the holy hell out if my freckles move and I need to instantly disrobe and hit the showers or have a complete undercover panic attack? I try not to share this seedy underbelly of life with my girls but I’m pretty sure that they can see the ‘EEK” in my eyes. I mean, it’s pretty much palpable! Maybe this is why Bella has decided to take a pass on the swingset this morning. I hope not.
Perhaps, it’s not the best technique of parenting when I am trying to ~~get the house cleaned~~, ~~emails answered, blog post written~~ save the world and I leave the girls in front of ~~Yo Gabba Gabba, Tarzan, Family Guy~~ ( I jest, I jest) PBS for an extended amount of time. It’s not everyday and it’s not always but it happens. Just like chicken nuggets and cereal for dinner have happened. Or like forgetting dress down day at school? Permission slips? Homework? Does this make me a bad parent?

I know it’s not exemplary. I wouldn’t write a book about parenting and suggest that people leave kids in front of the obesity tube. But for all the phobias, idiosyncrasies they have picked up even a bit of snarkilicious attitude they know one thing for certain…we love them. We unconditionally, every second of every day, no matter the weather or our mood or how many daunting tasks we have on our plate…We love them. We tell them! We hug them, kiss them.We show them. True, I have them sitting at the table next to me working on spelling as I am typing this. Not as hands on as I could be at this moment but we’ll do manis and pedis and have some Mommy/Daughter time before dinner. Is this bad parenting? Or is it realistic parenting?
What do you think makes a good parent? What qualifies as bad parenting? What is your finest parenting moment? Worst? I want to know…
Who makes the good parent rulebook?
2011/06/29
The Diva Cup~Naturally Divalicious
The Diva Cup~Naturally Divalicious
Diva Cup test ~Have you ever…(?)
- co-opted toilet paper from a public washroom as a temporary measure *(GUILTY.How I hate the clump of TP waddle of shame)
- planned a vacation around your period *(Many Times.)
- avoided white pants for that one ‘special’ week of the month. I call it shark week for a reason, it’s dangerous.*(When I was a teenager,white was my enemy for this very reason)
- done a supplies hand-off with a girlfriend while the dates weren’t looking *(always and it’s never as covert as we plan it to be.Nothing like dropping a tampon to the floor in front of a blind date)
- cautiously tucked the telltale string into your bikini *(why must it always slip back out.I’m not a party popper, nor do I want to “celebrate’ my period)
- accidentally pulled a mystery object from your purse in front of a curious male audience *(Yes and it’s always a stranger not someone you know.Instead of your husband, it’s someone like your husband’s boss or a potential client. “just let me get a pen..Oops, never mind my tampon that just fell on your hand))
- scuttled to the washroom to survey the leak damage after a sudden ‘surge’ *(I hate knowing I’ve leaked and can’t do anything about it but run for the restroom and pray for mercy from the menstruation Gods)
- clogged your toilet with “flushable” feminine products *(let’s not bring up the septic system that my in laws love to remind that I ruined with my tampons)
- left a party with a jacket tied around your waist * ( or high school, the club, a wedding reception,PTA meeting,mass)
- had a tampon somehow turn itself completely around inside and lose the string *(My biggest fear realized)
The DivaCup to the rescue!!!
The DivaCup is a non-absorbent menstrual cup that simply collects menstrual flow. *( Ok, take a moment and get past the ICK factor. I know it sounds kind of gross at first thought. But it is amazing and Green (BONUS)). It is inserted into the vagina and sits at the lower base of the vaginal canal. It is worn internally, yet because it is soft and smooth, it cannot be felt nor will it leak when inserted properly.*(You may however need to trim the stem for comfort which is a very simple fix)

The DivaCup is the most clean and convenient method of feminine hygiene protection. No need to touch the flow. It is worn low in the vagina, not near the cervix, so it is easy to remove. No mess! * ( No more evidence left on your fingers from lodged strings) Just remove, clean with Diva wash, re-insert and leave in for 12 hours. So easy.

The DivaCup ends hassles with unreliable disposables in endless absorbencies, shapes and styles. It is perfect for all activities – giving women true freedom without the worry, guessing and unreliability that disposable feminine hygiene products pose. *( absolutely great for running, dancing, high impact workouts like Turbo Fire and even Zumba)

The DivaCup can be worn for up to 12 hours before emptying, washing and reinserting for use for another 12 hours. It can be used for light or moderate flows and is emptied more often to accommodate heavy flows. Perfect for overnight use. *(I loved not having to worry about getting up in the middle of the night to check for accidents on the sheets or to change my pajamas.)

The DivaCup’s expert, proprietary, patent-pending features make it comfortable and assures ease of use and reliability. Perfect for traveling, running, biking, hiking, dancing, camping, swimming, diving, scuba, yoga, extreme sports and more…
- Latex-free, BPA-free, plastic-free
- No dyes, colors or additives
- Comfortable, reliable
- Clean, convenient, easy-to-use
- Worn for up to 12 hours at a time
The Diva Cup is a modern miracle, as far as I am concerned. I have been plagued with a heavy, unpredictable period since I hit puberty way back in the 80’s. It’s been no picnic and has left me with intense cramps and praying for menopause. No more! The Diva Cup has eliminated the mess, is able to be worn on those days that I “might” be starting and relieved the cramps.Relieved the Cramps!!
I highly suggest that if you have not tried the Diva Cup you do! It may take a couple of cycles to get used to it but once you do, you will be thanking me for turning you on to the Diva Cup. Through the generosity of Diva Cup, I am giving away a Diva Cup to one lucky reader. All you need to do is become an email subscriber and leave me a comment telling me your best green tip. The random winner will be selected on Friday June 17 at 9 pm EST.
The DivaCup really is an ingenious product. It’s a wonderful alternative to disposable pads and tampons and offers unsurpassed protection and worry-free ease in an innovative design. So, before you just say NO give it a try – it really is a “menstrual solution”!
Where to buy? Check out the The DivaCup website for more information.
The Diva Cup~Naturally Divalicious
Disclosure: I was provided with a free Diva Cup to use in order to review the product and give my own personal opinions on the Diva Cup. The opinions I have given are mine and may differ from others but were NOT influenced by Diva Cup.
2011/06/13