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  • Last Baby, First Day of Preschool Blues

    Last Baby, First Day of Preschool Blues

    The First Day of Preschool has snuck up on me. After 4 years, my baby girl is starting preschool. Let the letting go commence. My heart is a little broken at the very thought at not having my little girl next to me every day all day, her big bright smile beaming up at me at any and every hour of the day. Her giggle not resonating through the house at something silly she has thought up or seen on the television. No sticky little fingers to grab at my breakfast. No little toes to trip me when I walk. No small little hands to hold mine when we leave her sister at school. No more special breakfasts, just the two of us. My last baby is starting her first day of preschool.

    First day of preschool, last baby

    The truth is that it has all gone by way too fast. It feels like a month ago that I found out I was pregnant and heard your heartbeat for the first time. Wasn’t it just yesterday that I brought you home from the hospital, swaddled tightly in a little blanket of pink. Wasn’t it just a couple of hours ago that I was changing diapers and waiting desperately for you to say Mama and take your first steps? Where have the years gone? I want them back. I want to hold you in those moments and close to me forever. I know babies outgrow their Mommies laps, but you will never outgrow my love.

    last baby, first day of preschool

    First Day Of Preschool, where have the years gone

    There is so much change coming. I remember this part. This is where my forced letting go begins. This is where your growing up begins. This is where the hurt starts. I am so proud of you. You are so smart. You will take preschool by storm. You are fearless. You are amazing in ways that I can not fully explain. I am sitting here typing through tear filled eyes because I know where this road ends. A parent’s job is to raise children that make the world a better place, to be humans that we wish we could be more like to fulfill their potential and exhaust their dreams. I will be your biggest cheerleader, no matter where your passions may lead and I will always be here when you need to come home. My heart will ache, it may even break, bursting with pride and love for you my little girl. Tomorrow will be just the first in a long line of little letting goes.

    last baby, first day of preschool, bluesTomorrow, the First Day of Preschool

    Tomorrow, we begin a new chapter. Tomorrow will be one of the hardest mornings of my life. Tomorrow, my last baby has her first day of preschool. I have already summonsed the troops. The Big Guy is taking a vacation day. When Ella started preschool, Abs held my hand and we spent the morning together, trolling the aisles of the grocery store keeping ourselves occupied until we could pick Ella up from school. Abs had spent that morning screaming down the hallways of the school, as I pulled her away kicking and screaming “ELLA!!” Tomorrow, that will be the Big Guy’s job but this time it will be me who is kicking and screaming, raging against my baby growing up..crumpling to the floor in a pool of snot and tears. I only hope that I can hold the tears at bay until I am securely out of Abs’ line of sight. God, how I love this kid. She is my heart and soul. She is my happiness.

    first day of preschool

    How did you deal with the letting go? Does it ever get easier? I am so dreading college that I feel like I could vomit at the very thought of it. What helps you get over that missing my baby hump? Or worse, how do I get over this giant lump in my throat? Every time I think of dropping her off tomorrow morning, my eyes begin to fill up and I just know if I try to speak…I will cry. I’ll need you ladies tomorrow to metaphorically get me through the first of many letting goes of my last baby. How did you deal with the first day of preschool?

    My last baby, First Day of Preschool Blues

  • Easy Day of the Dead (Dia de Los Muertos) MakeUp Tutorial

    Easy Day of the Dead (Dia de Los Muertos) MakeUp Tutorial

    Do you celebrate Day of the Dead, also known as, Dia de Los Muertos? Always wanted to dress up but had no idea where to start? Well, I’ve got the perfect and easy Day of the Dead make-up tutorial? Celebrating Day of the Dead will never be easier than with my Dia de los Muertos make-up tutorial.

    We celebrate it as one of our culture’s most sacred traditions. One of our favorite things to do besides building our altar to honor our dead is I to dress up as La Calavera Catrina. All the makings of the perfect DIY Day of the Dead, Dia de Los Muertos Costume, was in my closet.

    Halloween and Day of the Dead are right around the corner. Every year at this time we start trying to figure out what our Halloween costumes are going to be and what our costumes for the annual Zombie walk might be. Yes, we’re that family. As they say, a family that costumes together stays together.

    This year I went Day of the Dead, Dia de Los Muertos, makeup for the zombie walk.

    While the Big Guy and our girls are getting their zombie on, I prefer to dress up as la Calavera Catrina, more universally recognized as the Day of the Dead Doll.  Dia de lo Muertos royalty.

    READ ALSO: How Disney’s Coco got Mexican Culture Right

    I love the vibrant colors and the fact that I get to share my Latino culture with my daughters in such a big, beautiful way. I stick out like a flower among weeds with my make-up compared to all the zombies. Believe it or not, it’s pretty easy and it’s perfect for adults and kids.

    The hard part is getting the make-up off but with a quick trip to WalMart, I can pick up a package of Neutrogena Makeup Remover Cleansing Towelettes and removal is easy peasy.

    Here are step-by-step instructions on how to get your very own Day of the Dead look with this Dia De Los Muertos Make-Up Tutorial:

     beauty, day of the dead, make up tutorial, dia de los muertos, day of the dead makeup

    1. First, begin by spreading an even layer of the Clown White make-up all over the entire face, except the eye sockets, with a sponge, and set with powder. It is important to set the color with the powder, because the black lines and color on top may get smudged unless you place a barrier in between.

    beauty, day of the dead, make up tutorial, dia de los muertos, day of the dead makeup

    2.  Next, sculpt the perimeter of the eye sockets with black liquid eyeliner, it allows you be more precise with your lines. Then intensify the area by blending a matte black shadow in the same hue over the top of the entire eyelid and filling in.

    beauty, day of the dead, make up tutorial, dia de los muertos, day of the dead

    3.  For detailing, I used a black liquid liner with a precise tip, and drew an upside-down heart on the nose, two rows of scalloping, connected by a circular motion, that surrounded the eyes and the two small circles on either side of my cheekbones. Mark out seven lines in a V-shape on your forehead. I made a jewel in the middle of mine. Connect the lines with curved shapes to create a spider weUse the same liquid liner to draw the two lines on your cheeks and draw a rose on your chin.

    READ ALSO: How to Celebrate Dia de Los Muertos

    4.  Use a color wheel of your choice to fill in the scalloping around your eyes, your jewel and any other designs on your face that need color. I set the color with more translucent powder, not too much, just enough to keep the color from running.

    beauty, day of the dead, make up tutorial, dia de los muertos, day of the dead

    5.  Moving on to the lips, I wanted red lips so I used my red lipstick to draw in my lips. Then with the black liquid eyeliner, I drew in the intersecting lines across my lips. I let all lines dry well and then went over with liquid eyeliner again.

    beauty, day of the dead, make up tutorial, dia de los muertos, day of the dead

    6.  With the liquid liner, add a few dotted details over the face, and a flower on your chin. Touch up individual areas with the color palette of your choice as needed, and after a few coats of mascara.

    calavera, beauty, day of the dead, make up tutorial, dia de los muertos, day of the dead

     

    After showing off your gorgeous la Calavera Catrina Dia de Los Muertos makeup on day of the dead or Halloween, you can easily remove it using Neutrogena Makeup remover cleansing towelettes. It will effectively dissolve all traces of dirt, oil and, most importantly, makeup, even the waterproof mascara that you used to make your Calavera eyes pop. The cloths are ultra-soft and gentle with superior cleansing technology that is clinically proven to easily remove 99.3% of the most stubborn Halloween makeup. One step and you have clean skin with no residue.

    calavera, beauty, day of the dead, make up tutorial, dia de los muertos, day of the dead, day of the dead make-up tutorial, dia de los muertos make-up tutorial

    What are you dressing as this Halloween, Day of the Dead or Dia de los Muertos?

  • That Day My Teenage Girl Told Me How She Really Felt

    That Day My Teenage Girl Told Me How She Really Felt

    Teenage girls get a bad rap. They are painted as moody, bitchy, argumentative creatures who are just plain mean, even cruel at times and above all else, they hate their mothers. I’m not sure that’s a true representation. I know being a teenage girl is difficult on a good day.

    Now, I’ve never personally hated my mom. There was a brief moment in history when I thought I knew better than her and I was inclined to telling her so. I believe it the ages of 15-17. I talked back so much, it’s a wonder that I have any teeth left in my head. I was very willful and headstrong, as children becoming adults often are. I was one step above throwing tantrums.

    My mom was a saint, aside for the occasional moments when she just couldn’t stand it anymore and would, without saying a word, push her bony knuckles into my thigh. Don’t feel sorry for me, I deserved much worse and now, I know what restraint it took to not say a damaging word to me.

    I always wanted to skip that part of motherhood and to be honest, I was terrified of it. It was the part when my mom and I put some space between us, or rather I did. I took every word and look as a transgression from her. She really could do no right. Now I see, how hard she was trying. After all, when I was 17, she was a mother of 4 teenagers, a 10-year-old and a newborn. I don’t know how she managed and right now, I applaud her for not killing us all.

    READ ALSO: My Daughter Loves Me; the In-Between Years

    People warned me of what I had to look forward to when my own girls entered the teen years. I had nightmares of my sweet, loving daughters turning into gum smacking, eye rolling, ish talking monsters but mostly I feared the wedge it would drive in our relationship. Honestly, it’s been hovering like a rain cloud for their entire childhood. I think it’s part of why I’ve tried so hard to build an open, honest relationship with my girls. It’s what I always wanted with my own mom.

    Don’t get me wrong, my mom and I were close. She’s one of my favorite people but I think we could have been closer had we clung to each other during the rough patch rather than have pushed one another away. Heated emotions allowed us to walk away. At the time, I think we both felt it was to cause less damage but in retrospect, it allowed for complacency. I realized some relationships are worth staying and fighting; the one with your mom is one of those.

    Here I am many years later, entering the teen years again. This time I’m the mom. I’ve put in 13 years preparing both of us for this moment. It’s been work and consistency every single day. It’s meant having hard discussions, being completely open and not being perfect. It’s meant tears and hard choices but always my heart was looking to the long game. Every moment has been a teachable moment. There is no room for complacency in my motherhood.

    I never know if I’m doing it right. Most of the time, it feels like I am doing it absolutely wrong. But then every so often, my daughters do something that validates everything I’ve been doing. It’s never big sweeping gestures. I don’t want those. Anyone can do those, it’s like going to church on Christmas. It comes in quiet moments in the form of unexpected words or actions that I’m not even sure are meant for me to see. It’s in the kind of human beings they are becoming but sometimes it’s more obvious but still just as powerful and meaningful and I find myself crying because I am moved.

    READ ALSO: Tips for Raising Teenage Girls and Not Damaging Your Relationship

    Why am I talking about this? Well, a couple weeks ago I was visiting my parents alone. No Big Guy and no girls. I actually got to be just a daughter for the first time in many years and it was glorious, but that’s a post for another time. Anyways, back to my story.

    While I was at my parents’ house not being in charge and having all of my whims indulged, my phone dinged. I was mid-conversation with my mom. Ironically, it was my daughter. Wasn’t sure that I wanted to open the message because, honestly, I was in such a good mood and I just knew it was going to be the girls pulling me into an argument they were having or them trying to convince me to overrule a decision their father had made. I never do that by the way because marriage=solid front.

    Anyways, against my better judgment, I opened the message from my teenage girl.

    Did I mention this was during the last couple weeks of school so hell was breaking loose? The girls bickering had gotten out of control. It moved beyond simple arguing and tattling to a full contact sport and it was exhausting to watch and to mediate. This is one of those moments when I completely feel like I am failing at parenting. But, I can’t ignore my children. I opened the email and this is what I found.

    Not going to lie. It made me cry. It made me puff out my chest. It made me feel all the feels and I immediately ran over to my own mom and showed her what an amazing granddaughter she has. She raised me, so she gets credit too. And I think we both felt all warm and fuzzy inside knowing that even if our relationship may have been strained for a few years, it made me the mom I am today. A teenager who randomly sends her mom this song for no reason at all, well, I’d say I’m doing something wrong…at least on that day.

    Love your teenagers the way you loved your toddlers; same kid, different body. You keep putting that love out there, even when everyone wants to walk away and it’s easier, you keep momming that kid. You might not know it by looking at them when they’re ignoring you and rolling their eyes but they see you. They hear you. They love you and they know you love them unconditionally. P.S. It might kill me when they leave for college.

    What has your teenage girl or teen boy done that’s surprised you?

  • Girls and their Daddies

    A couple of years ago for Christmas, Bella ( then 3) wanted to tell her Papi why she loved him. It was her special gift to him ( and it really was. It brought he and I both to tears). Today, of all days, I stumbled across it and it seems apropos to share with you all here today. So, In the spirit of Father’s day here is Bella’s List from Christmas 2008.

    Top 20 things that I love about my Papi
    Christmas 2008
    • I love when you take me outside and play in the snow.
    • I love when you take me with you to get groceries.
    • I Love you because you love me!
    • I love when you play Barbies with me and use funny voices.
    • I love when you paint with me and teach me how to draw.
    • I love when you dance Wiggles dance contest with me and sissy.
    • I love when you count with me.
    • I love when you decorate the Christmas tree with me and take us to see Christmas lights.
    • I love when you play camping with us inside our Hello Kitty tent.
    • I love when you help me clean my room and straighten my bed.
    • I love when you make gingerbread houses with us.
    • I love when you kiss my booboos and use Dora bandaids.
    • I love when you watch the Nutcracker and dance with me.
    • I love you when you hug me when I am sad.
    • I love when we play dress up and you tell me I am pretty.
    • I love when you watch frosty with me and drink hot coco.
    • I when you come and sleep in my bed with me when I have nightmares about Chickens ( and Lemurs)
    • I love when we all take family naps together and you cuddle with me.
    • I love you when you drive all the way to my favorite mall to get me spicy chicken.
    • I love when you do nice things for me, like bring me surprises and play outside with me in the summer.
    Most of all,I love you because you’re the best Papi I never  (ever in Bella speak) saw!
    This list pretty much sums up the eyes with which my girls view their Daddy, every day. He is an amazing Father. He lives to make his girls ( luckily that includes me as well) smile and their sadness moves him to tears. I am blessed to be married to a man whose heart and personality can fill a room.Words can not convey the love I feel for him when I see him with our daughters.  He’s a real trooper too. The girls and I had planned to go all out for Father’s Day, unfortunately, imagine my surprise when both girls got sick this weekend. Daddy got to spend Father’s Day weekend, helping me tend to sick feverish children at all hours of the night. The girls looked at him all weekend with adoration as he helped administer meds and give luke warm baths, and carry sickly babies from couch to bed and back again.And I have never found him to be quite so sexy as he was helping me this weekend. Sorry you had to spend your Father’s Day in the trenches,baby, but I sure did appreciate it.We love you honey, more than you will ever know! I’m sure next years list will include: 
    I love you when you take care of me when I am sick!
    Happy Father’s Day to all the fantastic Fathers in your lives!
  • A Mother’s Day Surprise that I will Never Ever Forget

    A Mother’s Day Surprise that I will Never Ever Forget

    Do you like surprises? Me, neither. Unless it’s, here’s a bag filled with a million dollars sort of surprise. Still, I got a big one this Mother’s Day. My baby girl became a woman.On.Mothers.Day. If that isn’t putting a fine point on it all, I don’t know what is. I thought we had some time. She’s only 11, well, nearly 12. In a week, she will be 12-years-old. But if I’d been in any sort of denial about my baby growing up, welp, that’s all been slapped right out of my mind.

    Mother’s Day wasn’t what I expected this year on any account. Normally, I relax and spend the day focused on myself, alone. It has been heavenly and indulgent and wonderful for my entire tenure as a mother because my husband is awesome. He gets me. He really does.

    This year was different because mortality decided it wanted to pay me an unexpected visit just to remind me that I am not actually invincible. I am human. I err. I can die at any moment. We all can.

    READ ALSO: How a Doctor’s Visit Saved My Life

    While I’ve been secretly patting myself on the back because I don’t feel like I’ve had a “midlife crisis” like some others who have told me they are in the throes of one, I got too damn big for my britches, as my southern mama would say. While I was busy not obsessing over my looks, rejecting bread like it was syphilis and trying to fight mother nature my body played a nasty trick on me. While I was being “cool” and “aging gracefully” my body had other plans.

    Here I am with a health created, self-induced midlife crisis. Suddenly, the carefree, living in the skin I’m in, tired of being fat but not tired enough to do something about it woman is now, working out and eating like her life depends on it. I’m not fighting the hands of time but I’m trying to keep death at bay. I’m trying to reverse the damage a lifetime of abusing my body has inflicted.

    READ ALSO: That One time I went into “HEAT” at Panda Express

    So amidst all of this, on the bleakest of Mother’s Day, laying in bed feeling completely overwhelmed by my own inner monologue…living in this moment of the winter of my most discontent…an effing period snapped me out of it. My baby girl became a woman and put even a finer point on the fact that I’ve got work to do. My girls need me and there is no time for self-pity. Self-care yes. Self-reflection? Hell yeah. I need to be at my best because my girls need me for many more firsts.

    She was a little scared. It’s new and it was her first. It was different than her sister, as they’ve always been. It was magical and scary for us both. But it was exciting too because it’s her first and she’s a young woman. This is the beginning of a lifetime of womanhood. We are all three of us women. We’re like a club or a coven or something but this binds us in an even deeper way. Then we went out to celebrate with Starbucks because in our house becoming a woman is cause for celebration.

    READ ALSO: Girl, You’ll be a woman soon

    My babies are growing up. One of them, quite literally, on Mother’s Day. The Big Guy and my girls have been my saviors in this life, more times than once. They give me reason and purpose and that is more than enough. The Big Guy saved me from myself when he came into my life. The girls rescued me from mediocrity. Having them has always made me want to do and be better. Because of them, I am becoming my best self.

    How did you celebrate Mother’s Day? What do your children inspire you to do?

  • Earth Day Tips for Raising Environmentally Aware Kids

    Earth Day Tips for Raising Environmentally Aware Kids

    Earth Day is one of my favorite days of the year because it’s a great reminder to take a moment and be thankful for the planet we live on. I know, it sounds super crunchy but it’s like realizing that you should be thankful for your body for all that it does for you, instead of complaining that it doesn’t look like everyone else’s. I’m always looking for awesome Earth Day tips for raising environmentally aware kids.

    Aside from raising your children to be good human beings (which should be first and foremost every parent’s goal) and showing them how to commit random acts of kindness in the world, we have to teach them the importance of taking care of our planet. We have to make it clear that the earth provides for us; food, water, air and everything else we need to survive and thrive in the universe. We need to take care of it in return. Like any good functional relationship, it takes two and lots of respect and reciprocity.

    READ ALSO: 10 Steps for being Environmentally Aware

    Kids understand so much more, at much younger ages than we often give them credit for. They can understand concepts like climate change, endangered species and overflowing landfills better than some of their adult counterparts. Showing them the way could motivate them to adopt Earth-friendly behavior. Encourage them with your own actions.

    You should be having Earth Day conversations with children as young as preschool-aged about why taking care of the planet is such a good idea. The more you talk with your kids, the more they’ll understand but don’t dumb it down too much. Talk in age-appropriate explanations.

    • Use Analogies: Wasting the Earth’s resources too quickly is like spending all your piggy bank money before allowance day.
    • Outline Causal Relationships: If you throw trash down a storm drain, it can make ocean animals sick.
    • Define New Vocabulary Terms: Like “biodegradable,” or “renewable energy.”
    • Make Connections to Prior Knowledge: Just like plants use sunlight to make food, solar panels use it to make electricity.

    Show your child how important the environment is to everyone around you. But you have to do more than just show them on Earth Day. For eco-friendly behavior to truly become second nature to our kids, it helps if it is done daily, rewarding and fun.

    READ ALSO: Beach Bag Must-Haves

    Here are Earth Day Tips for Raising Environmentally Aware Kids

    1. Recycling: Cut bottle, can and paper slot shapes into your bin lids to make sorting recyclables a fun family game. You can even sing a song while you sort.  And if you take your collected items to a recycling center, consider sharing the redemption money with your kids for an added incentive.
    2. Transportation: Look for chances to reduce emissions (and your stress levels) by taking car-free trips whenever you can. Biking, walking and riding public transportation can give your family some exercise and make traveling a lot more fun, too. City dwellers should find this easy, but even if you live out in the suburbs, we bet you have a park, restaurant or friend’s house within pedaling distance.
    3. Reducing Waste: Help your kids look forward to saving electricity by having one fun candlelight dinner every week. Or encourage them to use less water by timing who can take the fastest shower (while still coming out smelling clean, of course)!
    4. Water: Use only the water you need, and reuse when possible.
      Rain barrels can be used to collect rain and then you can use it to water a family garden.
      Bathe together. Put the kids in the tub together. Shower with your kids or your husband. It saves water, creates memories and nurtures the bond between siblings Dispose of solid and liquid wastes and medications safely.
      Take advantage of medication take-back programs or household hazardous waste collection programs that accept medications, pharmaceuticals, oil, paint and other liquid wastes.
    5. Pass on gas! For example, take public transportation, carpool, plan your day to reduce trips and vehicle emissions.
    6. Make sure your home’s air is healthy, learn about indoor air pollutants from indoor energy use and toxins.
    7. Plant a tree. Or plant many trees! Plant a garden. Plant a vegetable garden.
    8. Prevent additional air pollution by finding alternatives to burning your waste.
    9. Use pesticides safely! Reduce or eliminate where possible.
    10. Learn about composting, try it out!
    11. Reducing yard waste by recycling yard trimmings into free fertilizer.
    12. Learn about the native species and the negative effects of non-native plants and animals in the environment. Plant native species in your gardens, encourage important pollinators such as bees and birds by planting gardens full of their favorite plants. Join a team in your community that removes non-native species.
    13. Save energy at home Choose energy-saving appliances if they’re available. Look for Energy Star!
    14. Hang dry your clothes. This is one of my favorite things to do.
    15. Go renewable! Create your own power from the wind, the sun, water, or biofuels.
    16. Find alternate ways to reduce the use of diesel and other fuels for transportation, production and energy.
    17. Upcycle! Take something that is disposable and transforms it into something of greater use and value.
    18. Recycle metals, plastics and paper
    19. E-cycle Recycle and/or properly dispose of electronic waste such as computers and other gadgets
    20. Don’t litter! Properly dispose of trash and waste

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    The best thing you can do is simply the act of getting your kids outdoors; no matter the ages. In our high-tech world, kids spend a lot more time indoors looking at screens. I’m not judging. I’m stating a fact. We all do it but we need to actively get our kids moving outside, for their health and the health of the planet.

    One amazing experience in the great outdoors is worth a thousand nature lectures. Children who have an immersive experience in nature between the ages of 5 and 10, tend to care more about the environment. There is also a greater likelihood that they will actively work to preserve the important life-giving aspects of the environment as adults.

    READ ALSO: Tips to Keep Your Kids Healthy

    Rather than teaching our Earth Day tips about sustainability, give your kids a nature experience that will instill them with an environmental ethic that will inspire them to develop their own dedication to sustainability.

    We’ll be spending this beautiful Earth Day outside, as we always do, watching our girl play soccer, going for a nature walk and playing in the backyard. There is something about getting outside, breathing in the fresh air and playing that truly inspires my family. Nature is like my church.  I feel most at peace just being still and taking in the wonder and beauty that is outside.

    What are your best Earth Day tips for raising environmentally aware kids?

  • School Uniforms Destroy Girls’ Body Image

    School Uniforms Destroy Girls’ Body Image

    Have you ever thought about how our daughters’ self-esteem and body image could be affected by the school uniforms or dress code policy? Sounds crazy, right? I mean isn’t that the entire purpose of school uniforms in the first place, to level the playing field; to equalize all children and neutralize all social hierarchy? Isn’t a dress code to keep kids comfortable and tidy.

    I have daughters, who have to wear school uniforms. There is no option. I thought this was a great idea when we started school but now, I think it’s stifling and worse, I think it’s causing some damage to my tween’s self-esteem and worse, her body image. It’s bad enough that they are not allowed to even look like girls; no ruffles, no frills or even pale pink polish because it might be “distracting” to boys but now we are even making the clothes to fit like a boy. Someone once told me that I should cut my daughters’ hair because they “read somewhere” that long hair is conducive to rape. I said, no why don’t women teach their sons not to be rapists and to respect women and their bodies. Why should my daughter have to look like a boy so your son doesn’t get any ideas? Why do the girls have to be punished?

    But how are school uniforms destroying little girls’ body image, you ask?

    This year, it has become almost impossible to find anything that fits my child and believe me; I have tried all the stores and all the sizes. I’m frustrated; my poor daughter is beside herself. She had a growth spurt over the summer and suddenly all of her clothes are too short and tight. So, since I don’t want to send my child to school looking all “Hulk Smash” I decided to try to just buy her some bigger clothes. Makes sense, right? WRONG!

    You see, I’ve noticed that for the last few years, the girls’ uniform pants that we bought at Children’s Place were made slightly different than boy uniform pants. It was the little details like a little spandex mixed with the cotton so that the pants could bend and mold to a little girl’s body. Also, little girls’ pants were slightly flared for aesthetics and had a cute little ribbon belt. The pants were perfect. My children have been wearing them for years.

    But this year, with all the let’s eliminate labels like “boys” and “girls” campaigns being on trend, nothing fits. It’s not my imagination. They have actually stopped making the pants we previously bought and have gone to a more streamlined look, that happen to look exactly like the boys’ pants. Let’s put it this way, my waif like 8 –year-old who almost blows away with a strong gust of wind and typically wears a size 6X/7 had to buy a size 10, in order to fit.

    My poor 10-year-old who typically wears a 12 or a 14 depending on the length of the pants, literally, could not find a pair of pants that fit her in the length and waist. Either they swallowed her whole or fit in the waist but were up to her knees or in one particular worst case scenario, we had to try on a size 14 that was tight on her waist and her butt and then we found out it was a mislabeled 10. With tears in her eyes in the dressing room, she looked at me and said, “Mommy, I just want to be normal. I just want pants that fit to wear to school!” I’ve only noticed this in uniforms, but of course, that’s all I’ve shopped for recently.

    My heart broke into one million pieces because I saw every single woman that has come before her and every single little girl that will come after her if we don’t do something to change this NOW! There is plenty of time for her to feel like shit about herself because the fashion and style industry do not cater to normal sized women and they surely don’t cater to tall women, who are neither anorexic or plus sized. Our options are crying in the dressing room while trying to either starve ourselves into see thru micro mini everything, wearing muumuus or dressing like a man. Why do we have to dress according to them? And who the f*ck are they anyways?

    Isn’t it enough that our daughters are bombarded by images on television and in the media of starving women as our standard of beauty, now my 10-year-old and 8-year-old are being told their bodies are wrong by fucking uniform pants. And by the way, if there was ever proof that the patriarchy is in charge, just look at a school uniform policy. It is made to inflict embarrassment and shatter self-image by making every little girl feel as ugly and plain as possible.

    This is my plea, manufacturers and designers of little girls’ school uniforms

    Please stop making school uniforms cut to give our elementary school aged girls doubt in themselves and their bodies.

    My daughters are perfect and healthy and beautiful and in one shopping trip, fashion has planted a seed of doubt. I saw her face. I know that look…

     If only I could lose 5 pounds, I could fit into those pants!

    I didn’t ever want to see that look in her eyes; that partial disgust and doubt of her own body.

    It had nothing to do with wanting to be fashionable and every thing to do with just wanting to be normal and wear pants that fit. Why are we allowing the fashion industry to destroy the self-esteem and body image that we have worked so hard to instill in our girls? We pay for these clothes, shouldn’t they be made to fit our bodies not the other way around? The fashion industry works for us.

    What are your thoughts on vanity sizing and unisex cuts in girls’ school uniforms?

  • Elf on A Shelf run Amuck

    elf, elf on a shelf, christmas, holidays

    Elf on a Shelf Run Amuck~ Last year, we  I decided that I wanted to start the whole Elf on the Shelf tradition with my girls.Of course, once I saw what the Elf on the Shelf actually looked like, there was no way I was bringing that thing into my house.It would have scared the Christmas spirit right out of my girls. Thoughts of them sleeping with me nightly until they were 15 danced in my head and I nixed the Elf ( jokes on me because they are currently co-sleepers!) I wasn’t ready to abandon the entire idea, just that particular elf. You know me, I went on a quest until a could locate 2 more aesthetically pleasing elves. I acknowledge that I am so conforming to society’s idea of beauty. Shame on me.The girls were 2 and 4 and, let’s be honest, I needed a new bargaining chip.The fat guy threats just weren’t cutting it anymore. I needed something more tangible, not a threat of 1 day of the entire year. My girls are fairly certain that Santa is like God in the respect that he forgives..everything. But elves, well, those little bastards can be as vicious as Mommy wants them to be. Those little dudes are Santa’s henchmen; they bust kneecaps and bite ankles. And so began the tradition..in our home.

    Anyone who knows the Big Guy and I know that, in most respects, we don’t half-ass anything when it comes to our girls, with the exception of when we are dropping the ball completely. Sky’s the limit, to infinity and beyond and all that bullshit. So, our elves ( yes, there are 2, one for each girl…its hard work wrangling babies) are sent via Air mail from the North Pole. You doubt me? Hey, there is postage paid and everything..even teeny tiny holes in the box so those minuscule Northern mafioso enforcers can breathe. Our elf on a shelf #1 and elf on a shelf #2 arrive with a letter from Santa explaining all ( yes, by now you should all be fully aware that we take everything just one step too far).

    elf, elf on a shelf, christmas, holidays

    Elf on A Shelf #1 has arrived

    This year, Analee ( that’s the name since “someone’ forgot to remove the tag from the elf) arrived magically,a s if out of thin air.One day he was not here and the next, there he sat high in the Christmas tree, watching,waiting to be discovered.Keeping watch over my girls as they shouted and fought.And then it happened, Gabs made her way to touch her Clara ornament(you know the special one that she is forbidden to touch) and as her eyes rose from the ornament there perched 3/4s of the way up the tree, Analee.Gab’s let out a yelp. Then said nothing. She slyly made her way to her sister, who screamed and immediately ran to greet our old friend.She was all flushed and hyperventilating trying to get the words out of her mouth, the proclamation that “Analee” was back. Santa had sent him to watch over them. I feigned surprise and said hello. Then it was bedtime. A few days later, after many hours of Bella standing in front of the Christmas tree explaining away every transgression that she had levied against her sister (literally, I found her no less than 15 times talking to the elf on a shelf…explaining that Gabs made her do it and to tell Santa..it was Gabs, I tell you.All Gabs!) a package arrived in the mail.

    Elf on a Shelf #2 reporting for Recon duty

    The girls saw the brightly decorated box and knew instantly what the package contained. They gently placed it on the floor, in front of the fireplace ( there is a great amount of reverence given to the elves) and peeled the packaging back. Inside, they found a letter from Santa and the jolly smile of “Ed”, sent back by Santa to report for another year of duty in our household. The girls gasped. They love the elves but they are afraid to touch them, not even with a ten foot pole. Well, Bella is anyways.Gabs actually midget tossed poor Ed out of her room on his ear today when she was having a particularly hard time fighting a nap.Poor Ed!But that’s an entirely different post. I was asked to place Ed somewhere, because, silly you, elves don’t run around in front of humans during day light hours.Bella has a theory that she shared with me the other day.It goes a little something like this: Bella” Mommy, how do the elves tell Santa what we’re doing?” Me:”Well, Bella, the elves are magical so they just pop back over to Santa and give him a daily report.” She looks slightly perturbed and confused.Bella:’Mommy, why don’t they just call him?” Me:”Well, Bella they can magically just pop back to Santa, why waste the minutes?”(I’m slightly exasperated.This lie has gotten too big,You know I can’t lie!)Bella: “Mommy?” Me;”Yes?”Bella: “Mommy,  I think Santa has secret cameras in the house and can see everything we do!”I’m speechless.After all, she is only 5 years old.First, she has rationalized the Tooth Fairy and now elves with spy cams? Me:”No,Bella.they.pop.back. to .Santa.every.night!”

    elf, elf on a shelf, christmas, holidays
    This  letter from Santa makes me cry, a little bit.It choked me up reading it to the girls.

    Every night, I move the elves to different positions and to different random spots in throughout the house; the bathroom ( taking a poop, surprise Ed’swatching), eating breakfast (Surprise Analee is in the chair next to you),putting your clothes in the hamper (Be careful you’ll squish Ed), reaching for the milk ( oooh, poor Ed is chilly in the fridge..no sneaking candy!)turn on the fireplace (oh no,be careful Analee is getting hot under the collar).You get the point?

     

    elf, elf on a shelf, christmas, holidays

    And so starts another year of the mischievousness that is the elf visitors.Elf on a shelf my ass, those little suckers are running all over my house. It scares my girls that our little visitors wield so much power in their tiny hands.They are roaming free, recording every single scream, yell, hair pull, piss my sister off moment/ talk back to my Mommy, fighting my bedtime, not going to eat my asparagus moment that goes down in our house..and apparently, so are Santa’s spy cams!So, remember you better watch out, you better not pout,you better not cry, I’m telling you why..Santa’s sending his henchmen to rat on you!Happy Christmas and beware the elf on a shelf!

    elf, elf on a shelf, christmas, holidays

    Elf on a shelf saves the Day

  • Yoselyn Ortega the Sociopath Nanny who Destroyed Marina Krim ‘s Life

    Yoselyn Ortega the Sociopath Nanny who Destroyed Marina Krim ‘s Life

    I’ve been thinking a lot about Marina Krim and her children waiting to see what excuse their nanny, Yoselyn Ortega, gives for murdering Lucia and Leo Krim. I have been following the Krim murder case since the day it happened. It is one of those cases that I need answers to. When something so horrendous happens in the world, I need an explanation to be able to wrap my brain around it and process it. I called for prayers for the Krim family but now I want justice for the Krim family.

    Unless you’ve been living under a rock, two weeks ago, Marina Krim, returned home from swimming lessons with her 3-year-old Nessie to find every mother’s nightmare. The nanny, Yoselyn Ortega, who Marina considered part of the family and entrusted on a daily basis with her children’s well being, had brutally stabbed and murdered her children.  Then, in front of Marina Krim, Yoselyn Ortega turned the knife on herself.

     

    Yoselyn Ortega, Krim Family, Marina Krim, Murder, Nanny, New York
    This is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, Yoselyn Ortega

    In my book, that was the only merciful thing Yoselyn Ortega did for Marina Krim.

    I’ve yet to get my explanation as to what really happened that day at the Krim family home. As time goes by, more evidence comes out. In the latest interview of Yoselyn Ortega by the police, she has told them that she was disenchanted with Marina Krim on the day of the murders. She says that the Krim family treated her badly. Yoselyn Ortega says that she was underpaid, overworked and that Marina Krim was a bad woman, a crappy mother and that Marina Krim didn’t say goodbye to her the day of the murders and it hurt her feelings.

    You know what I hear? Wah, Wah, Wah! This bitch is mean. She got pissed at her employer, because she is a spiteful, horrible person and then, just to hurt them irrevocably, she brutally murdered two small, innocent children, Leo and Lucia Krim.

    I’ve read all kinds of crazy reactions to this case. People somehow placing blame on Marina and Kevin Krim.  Onlookers judgmentally saying that Marina Krim was an entitled mother who didn’t care about her children, only using them as blog fodder but not really wanting to actually take care of them.  The key word in that sentence is “entitled” people somehow think it’s a sin to have nice things, to be wealthy. I don’t know the Krims but I know that becoming wealthy takes a lot of hard work and drive so there is no entitlement to it. Besides, when did it become a sin punishable by murdering your children to have money? People are justifying Yoselyn Ortega’s brutal murdering ways because they feel that the poor nanny with her money problems and mental problems needed more attention.

    Fuck her. She was an employee. Sure they may have cared for her but they hired her to take care of their children. That was her job. If she couldn’t do her job, I don’t think it is logical that people think the Krims should have paid her to have the privilege of coddling her and dealing with her issues. They tried to help her. They gave her extra jobs to earn more money. She didn’t like the jobs they gave her. Tough shit. From what I am seeing, she is lazy and crazy and a murdering, sadistic person. I’d like to see her get the death penalty. The truth is that this could happen to any one of us.

     

    Yoselyn Ortega, Krim Family, Marina Krim, Murder, Nanny, New York, Lucia Krim, Leo Krim
    If you think she deserves mercy, remember there was no mercy for little Leo and Lucia, only betrayal and brutality.

    Yoselyn Ortega brutally and painfully murdered Marina Krim ‘s two beautiful children that loved and trusted her.

    She violated that sacred covenant between children, the nanny who loves them and the parents who trust these women to protect them and care for them. All nannies aren’t bad people; parents who have nannies aren’t lazy parents. Yoselyn Ortega was a crazy bitch and unless the situation was that Marina Krim chained her up to a radiator naked, beating her and depriving her of food and water, not paying her and making her care for her children and then Yoselyn Ortega slit Marina’s throat while trying to escape that nightmare, this case can never be justified.

    I think people are scared and clutching at any explanation as to why a nanny would murder her charges because it truly is unthinkable. We want to place blame on someone, anyone. We don’t want to think that this could happen to any one of us. We don’t want to believe that bad things happen to good parents but they do. So, it’s easier for some people to blame Marina Krim for being a bad mother, for mistreating her nanny, for having a good life, or for being a bad person but she wasn’t.

    Bottom line is that Yoselyn Ortega is a fucking mean and vengeful monster who deserved to have died along with those children. If I were Marina, I would have decapitated that bitch with the same knife she murdered my babies with. These are not thoughts that a mother should think but no mother should ever have to endure what Marina Krim has had to survive. Yoselyn Ortega deserves to suffer the same fate that she inflicted on little Lucia and Leo.

     

    Yoselyn Ortega, Krim Family, Marina Krim, Murder, Nanny, New York
    If mercy for Yoselyn Ortega comes to your mind, as a mother, imagine the all-consuming pain Marina Krim was/is feeling over the loss of her two beautiful children. Yoselyn Ortega did this!

    My thoughts and prayers are with the Krim family and more specifically, Marina Krim. I imagine that every day that she keeps herself above ground is a win for her family. I’m also confident that what propels her forward is her love for her only surviving child, Nessie. May God bless this family and give them the strength to endure this grief.

    As for Yoselyn Ortega, I pray that she experiences the same mercy that she extended to the Krim children. Perhaps, we should bring back quartering just this once. Yoselyn Ortega makes me sick and may her journey to hell be slow and painful.

    What do you think would be justice served for Yoselyn Ortega and retribution for Marina Krim?

    Photos & Reuters/Carlo Allegri[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

  • Kindergarten Teacher, Thomas Washburn, Removes 6-Year-Old Girls Shirt in a Fit of Anger & Leaves her Exposed in Front of the Entire Class

    Kindergarten Teacher, Thomas Washburn, Removes 6-Year-Old Girls Shirt in a Fit of Anger & Leaves her Exposed in Front of the Entire Class

    An Arizona Kindergarten teacher, Thomas Washburn, faces 26 counts of indecent exposure and one count of child abuse after he allegedly removed a 6-year-old girl’s shirt and left her naked from the waist up in a packed classroom.  He did what????

    Thomas Washburn, 54, a teacher at Adams Elementary School in Mesa, Arizona was arrested Wednesday when the incident was reported by the little girl’s mom and is now on “PAID” leave. Meanwhile, the little girl is humiliated and traumatized. This man should be locked up in jail.

    Thomas Washburn, 6-year-old girl, Mesa, Arizona, Kindergarten

    Police said that something upset Washburn, who then started shouting in the classroom filled with 24 kindergarteners and an adult aide. The loud outburst frightened the little girl so badly that she hid her face in the top of her shirt. I know, as parents, we sometimes have these moments of insanity where we do something unconventional but that is our own children and it doesn’t happen in front of 24 of their peers and we aren’t strange men ripping their clothes off and leaving them naked and exposed.

    Further infuriated by the little girl’s behavior, Washburn told the little girl to take her face out of the shirt. When she did not comply, he took her shirt off of her, leaving her naked from the waist up in front of her classmates for about 10 minutes. The little girl began crying, presumably a combination of the fright of having her shirt ripped off of her by a crazed old man, someone she trusted, and being naked in front of her classmates. Eventually, the sonofabitch returned her clothes. This makes me want to bust this guy in the face with a ball bat. I’ve had a teacher pull my kindergartener to the front of the class to point out that her uniform was not to code and that was enough to make me livid. I not only approached the teacher and told her in no uncertain terms that she was to NEVER embarrass my child again but I even contacted the principal because, in my mind, this is not acceptable to do to a child. If she would have removed a piece of clothing or touched her, I’m certain I would have physically hurt her.

    To make matters worse, the victim’s mother said her daughter was born prematurely and is “developmentally delayed.” This man is a piece of garbage and clearly does not need to be teaching in the classroom. 

    Ok, that was what the report said, more or less, now let me tell you what I think. You see I have a 6-year-old girl and believe me when I tell you that if a teacher, male or female, ripped my kids shirt off of her in a fit of rage or what the fuck ever was going on, this person should expect to feel the full wrath of myself and my husband. I’m saying this asshole should hide because I’d be at his house to collect him with a ball bat, take him to the mall and strip him down in front of the world to let him stand there on display with his bad attitude and his little dick in humiliation for the full ten minutes in which he let the child do the same and then I would beat him with the said bat. This asshole should not be allowed alone with children. He obviously has some sort of anger issue and has no clue as to how to handle an uncooperative child. He needs to lose his job and be punished for this for the rest of his life because by doing what he did, that will follow that little girl for the rest of her life. She will be afraid of grown men in positions of power and feel vulnerable and threatened. As far as I am concerned, this man is an animal and belongs in a cage.

    If he couldn’t handle the crazy unrest of 6-year-olds than he should have stayed the hell out of a kindergarten classroom. He should have walked away. No matter what was going on in his life to make him have a bad day, his responsibility is to protect and teach those children and there is an expectation from those parents who are leaving their child in his care that he actually CARES for their child, not humiliates them in front of the class.

    What would you do if a teacher did this to your 6-year-old?