The TRUTH About Motherhood

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Built Ultra-Strong Like a Mom

Disclosure: This is a compensated collaboration with Hefty® but all opinions are my own.
Where there is a will, there is always a way. This is the one life lesson my mom taught me that has always stuck with me. In fact, it plays on a loop in my brain in the background of every single thing I do. I don’t quit, as a rule.

I remember this saying so specifically because not only did my mom tell me these words every day of my childhood, she said it to me from a place of desperation. She was living in a metaphorical hole but she loved me so much that she made a point of telling me that I could do/be anything. Imagine if you will a mom in a deep hole with her small children, sacrificing every ounce of strength and hope she had for herself to push her children to the surface. That was my mom.
She may not have a wall full of degrees, millions of dollars in the bank, a big house or have traveled the world, but she was, and still is, a simple and humble woman with a big heart filled with love, even if she had nothing else to give. She went without so that we could have what we needed. Sometimes it felt like we had nothing too but we did, because we always knew we had our mom. So no matter how bleak things might have looked throughout my childhood, I knew I had unconditional love and that meant something.
She also told me that chasing my dreams was going to be hard but it would be worth it to catch them and live on my own terms. The gratification of accomplishing the goals I would set for myself could carry me through my hardest times and she was right. This is what I try to teach my girls.
The circumstances are quite a bit different though. Whereas I saw my mother had nothing, my girls see where my hard work has paid off. They don’t see the close to the poverty line, blue-collar hole I was pushed out of to get to where I am. They haven’t felt the ramifications of the hard work or seen everything that goes on behind the scenes. I’ve protected them from feeling that. I shouldn’t have.
Recently, I made a point of taking advantage of a teachable moment and explaining to my girls that the blisters in life are what give us the calluses to make it through the tough times. I reiterated what I have always known and what I’ve always told them, “where there is a will, there is always a way.” The only difference was that, in that particular moment, there was a situation affecting them that could make the words tangible. It gave them weight and purpose and finally, they became more than words; they became fact. In that moment, we all became stronger.
Hefty® is celebrating all the strong moms out there. The ones who stay up late forgoing their own sleep for the colicky baby who needs a little extra attention, the ones who make the tough decisions and sacrifices so that their children know they always have their backs, the moms who give all their love and attention to their family even when they are too tired to shave their own legs. We are strong and fierce in our resilience. We are ultra-strong and Hefty® honors that. Game recognizes game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fKDlMGeZJM
I love this ad with WWE superstar, John Cena, and his mom, Carol Cena, because they remind us that Hefty® has the best bags ever at a lower price than the competition, but they also remind us that moms are strong, Hefty® Ultra Strong™.
Did you know that Hefty® Ultra Strong™ trash bags feature ARM & HAMMER™ patented odor neutralizer, which is awesome because no one wants garbage that’s stinky.stinky.stinky. Thank goodness for all those fresh scents that they come in. I’m partial to Clean Burst.
Hefty® Ultra Strong™ trash bags also have active tear resistant technology for better puncture-resistance, which I love because there is nothing worse than pulling the bag out of the bin to throw it away and getting covered in garbage soup. All caps EWWWW.
Did I mention the break resistant grip drawstring? Because Hefty® Ultra Strong™ trash bags have them and they are awesome because anything that keeps the garbage off of me and the floor is awesome. If all that is not enough, there is a 100% satisfaction guarantee: Hefty® can handle all your trash bag needs or your money back. So it is totally no risk.
Disclosure: This is a compensated collaboration with Hefty® but all opinions are my own.

2017/08/02
12 Tips To Help You Get Ready Fast Each Day
The sad truth is that time is a luxury that most of us don’t have these days. From the moment some ladies get up to the time they go to sleep, they must cram their waking hours with many tasks and activities.
You’re likely reading this article because you don’t have much time to do things every day. It doesn’t matter if you work long hours or have to juggle work and family life. Keep reading this article to learn about 12 ways that’ll help you get ready fast each day:
1. Get your outfit ready the night before
There’s no denying that one of the most time-consuming things that anyone has to do is spend time picking some clothing to wear in the morning. Unfortunately, choosing the right outfit sometimes mean being late for work or any other appointments!
That’s why it makes sense to pick what you’re going to wear before going to bed the previous night. It doesn’t sound very spontaneous, but it means you won’t have to rush around in the morning to get dressed.
2. Opt for a low-maintenance hairstyle
Does your hairstyling routine take a large chunk out of your morning ritual? If so, you should probably consider opting for a low-maintenance hairstyle. Getting hair extensions from a hair extensions specialist is also a good option to save time in hair preparation and styling. The good news is there are plenty of hairstyles out there that you’ll like yet won’t take a long time to prepare each morning.
One such example is the French bob. They are chin-length hairstyles that are both chic and elegant and take less than five minutes to prepare. Here’s how to style a French-girl bob in 3 easy steps!
3. Wake up 15 minutes earlier each morning
You might think to yourself that waking up 15 minutes earlier each morning is a bit pointless. After all: what extra things can you do in those 15 minutes? Well, it turns out there’s quite a lot of things you can do in that time.
For instance, you’ve got extra time to spend under the shower to ‘wake yourself up’ properly. Or if you’ve got kids, you could use that time to get their lunch boxes ready for school and not panic about leaving late to drop them off!
4. Prepare your lunch the evening before
Do you take in some home-cooked or prepared food for your lunchtime at work? If so, it can add to your stress levels, preparing your lunch in the morning before setting out your front door.
That’s why it makes better sense to prepare your lunch during the previous evening. In the morning, all you have to do is grab it from your refrigerator and take it to work with you! Plus, your food will stay cooler for longer if you don’t have a fridge at work.
5. Use an in-shower moisturizer
Ladies, if you use a moisturizer as part of your morning ritual each day, you need to start using a product that you can apply to your skin while you shower. Why? The answer is simple: to save time, of course!
That’s because the conventional approach involves drying yourself off, applying moisturizer, and then waiting for it to ‘sink in’ before getting dressed. There are plenty of hydrating moisturizers you can use in the shower.
6. Use one product for your eyes, cheeks, and lips
Some women use a variety of beauty products each morning. As you can imagine, having several products you need to apply means more time spent on your morning beauty routine. You would be better off cutting down on the products you use to save time.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you must sacrifice enhancing your look each day. There are time-saving products you can use that’ll achieve the same results that you want each morning. One example is to use a single product for your eyes, cheeks, and lips.
7. Don’t set your alarm next to your bed
One of the most dangerous things any woman can do is set their alarm on their phone or alarm clock next to their bed. You should make sure your alarm goes off far away from your bed, such as on a dressing table.
Why? You have to make yourself get up to turn off that ‘annoying’ alarm! And once you’re awake and on your feet, you can immediately begin your morning ritual.
So, why is it dangerous to have your alarm go off within arm’s length of your bed? You could quickly turn it off and doze back to sleep. Telling yourself that you’ve got an extra ten minutes in bed is never a good idea!
8. Invest in a programmable coffee machine
Are you the type of lady that needs a morning cup of coffee before the day can truly begin? If the answer’s yes, and you enjoy drinking filtered coffee, you must invest in a programmable coffee machine, along with the coffee pods of your heart’s desire. They don’t cost much more than standard coffee machines. But, they’ll offer you a whole heap of benefits. For instance, you’ll have one less thing to organize in the morning, as you’ve already prepared the coffee in the filter during the previous night.
Secondly, once you’ve had your shower and got dressed, you can instantly enjoy a hot, fresh cup of coffee before leaving your home. And thirdly, if you’re feeling incredibly sleepy, you can always have a second cup of coffee if you’ve got enough time!
9. Don’t “catch up” on things on your phone
Whether ladies like to admit it or not, they will often waste time catching up on things on their smartphones before leaving their homes. If that’s something you are guilty of doing, it’s time to stop it.
If you travel to work via public transport, you can always check your email or social media accounts en-route. Otherwise, wait until you get to work before you start doing stuff on your phone.
You might wish to put your phone on silent or airplane mode to avoid distracting notifications during your morning ritual.
10. Keep everything you need in one place
It doesn’t matter whether you travel light to work each morning or need to take a few different bags with you. What does matter is you keep everything you need in one place in your home.
You’ll save plenty of time doing that versus searching your home for the things you need. Plus, you won’t have to start your day in a panic or feeling stressed out before the day’s proceedings have even begun!
11. Avoid working during your morning commute
A surprising amount of women start working before they’ve even got to their workplaces! You might assume that you’re productive in an otherwise monotonous journey. However, the only thing that will happen is you’ll end up feeling stressed out and even anxious.
Instead, use the time in your journey to prepare for the day ahead mentally. And if your trip is a long one, you could always sneak in some extra sleep if you’ve had a late night.
12. Avoid watching TV
The thing about watching something on TV as you get ready to leave your home is that it’s distracting. And it can be so distracting that you might end up losing track of time and potentially leaving your home late!
Instead, listen to the radio or your favorite morning routine playlist. If you’re thinking of doing the latter, consider adding some upbeat, high-tempo tunes to make you feel energized and ready for anything the day will throw at you.
Good luck!
2020/11/05
Best Gifts to Get New Moms or Any Moms for Practically Free
This is not your traditional gift guide for moms. It’s not specific to cool moms, crunchy moms, tech moms, teen moms or even girl moms. Nope, this is the perfect gift guide for all moms of all ages with kids of all ages and any sex. These are proven gifts for moms that are approved by, you guessed it, moms. But before I tell you the Best gifts to get new moms or any moms, read below.
Let me tell you a little story, the other day, I was talking to my therapist (physical, not mental) who just became a dad for the third time. Nice guy. Cute kids, 3 under 3 and an amazing wife who just gave birth to all three children in three years. They’re both probably in their early 30’s. Our conversation inspired me to write this gift guide because, from my perspective of the hard-earned wisdom of the school of been there done that, I realized that men are clueless.
READ ALSO: Gift Guide for Women who love tech and pretty things
I’m not saying this in a mean or ugly way. I’m saying it in the way that men are from Mars and women are apparently, from Venus ( more like women are from earth and men have no clue). While we may be on similar paths in life, they are most definitely perpendicular and not parallel. We ay accidentally cross paths in our way of thinking occasionally but for the most part, we are miles away. We interest but it’s not the same life, not even the same world.
I’m not trying to bad mouth this guy or any man for that matter, I’m just saying that we don’t share the same experience. At all. A few years ago, I was shocked to find out that men are never afraid to walk alone, outside after dark like EVER. Never. They are not phased in the slightest. Meanwhile, I’ve never felt comfortable walking alone at night and sometimes not even in the daytime, depending on where I am and what I’m doing. Men are fearless because they are at the top of the food chain. They’re doing the accosting. No one is accosting them. Women, well, it’s the men’s world and we’re just living it, unfortunately. Forget about the fact that we’ve given birth to them ( they’ve forgotten) and just know that they view us as other if they see us at all.
READ ALSO: Standing up for my girls no matter the cost
My therapist and I were talking about how they’ve been having a hard time sleeping ( 3-week old baby) and he said, “she’s been a bit tired and grumpy” ( no shit, new baby exhaustion is real especially when you’re chasing after 2 other toddlers in a damn pandemic.) Anyway, I digress. My point is that she was a little curt because she was new mom tired and she needed help.
Somehow we got on the subject of people needing space (an hour or so to decompress from their family and work, how I walk for an hour every day alone). I gently suggested that on the weekends he let his wife nap and his life would be easier because a rested mom is a happier one. He thought I was suggesting for him to get some time to himself. He was telling me how important his soccer weekends were to him. I gently, reminded him, “Yeah, your wife needs that too. Moms always need time, even if it’s just to drink our coffee or run to Target. Just because we don’t complain doesn’t mean we’re not tired.”
He answered me, “No, she loves being a mom.” That’s when I realized that it was my civic duty to save this perfectly decent man from fucking up his marriage.
READ ALSO: How Scrambled Eggs Saved my Marriage
Dude we all love being a mom but we also love being ourselves, being treated as humans; seen as something other than the help. We are not the live-in nannies, who also cook and clean so that you can spend your weekends golfing, playing soccer or call of duty. Repeat after me; My wife loves her children but she needs breaks. I love her so I must give her the opportunity to rest and breathe. No one can run on full blast at all times without burning out.
In case you don’t believe me, that we are all exhausted, even those of us who love what we are doing and being a mom, I just received this text. She’s a mom and a doctor who has been working almost constantly lately treating CoVid patients in her overcapacity hospital.
“I worked overnight and slept for 2 hours so I could get up and entertain the kids. I’m exhausted. It would be so nice to have a minute where the kids aren’t telling me how bored they are or the husband wasn’t sulking about a couple of days without sex. I wish I could have half an hour to myself instead of trying to please everyone else.”
Best gifts to get new moms or any moms
A day of rest
Even God took a day off. Maybe it sounds too simple or maybe you just don’t want to do it because you’ve worked all week and you want your days off to be relaxing. Great, I get it but how is it fair that you get 2 days off a week and she gets no days off ever? Think about it. Split the days; 1 for each.
Quiet time alone
Take the kids somewhere; anywhere. Quiet time is in high demand and there is never enough of it. Just tell her to take an hour and put on her headphones, sit in the car or go for a walk and enjoy not being the person in charge of meeting everyone’s needs for just a little while.
A spa day
This is a real luxury because, after kids, money and time are both things moms never have enough of. Moms tend to always put themselves last and a spa day, is not only good for the body, but it’s also pretty amazing for the soul too. Let her be a woman of leisure for just a few hours. Plus, relaxing is a superego boost for moms and if she feels prettier, sexier, more relaxed…you will benefit from it.
A girl’s night
I didn’t get a girl’s night until my girls were already 5 and 3-years-old. I kept telling myself that I didn’t need it. Then, my husband basically forced me out one night and it was the best thing ever. Moms need that time to remember who they are as a woman, not just someone’s wife and mommy.
Bring home or cook dinner once a week
Pssst, hey you, we hate cooking after feeding picky eaters all day, coaxing them to sleep and chasing them around. It’s just one more thing on a super long list of things we have to do and we don’t like it. Please handle it occasionally. You will be our hero. Do the dishes and put the kids to sleep on your own…your imagination is the only thing holding you back, baby.
An hour to work out
Being a mom is so busy that we really lose sight of ourselves. One day, we realize we’ve become bottom of our own very long list of things to care about. Working out not only provides us with some time alone, but we also get to feel those endorphins and feel productive and beautiful. Yes, sweating makes us feel like we are part of the solution, especially when we’re feeling overwhelmed and particularly mommish.
A space of her own
It doesn’t need to be huge. It just needs to have a door and a lock. An office, craft room, or workout area. We just really need something that is ours.
Volunteer to do some of the chores
Bringing home dinner is one thing but if you put babies to sleep, walk dogs, fold laundry and unload the dishwasher, there might be some more babies or at the very least some A+ effort baby-making-like actions being initiated.
Consider her feelings
Ask yourself, what would my wife do? You want to go out with the guys for 1, 2 or 10 beers after work on Friday night. Ask yourself, does my wife need me to come home and give her a break? Is she going insane because the only people she’s been talking to all day are under 3 feet and don’t know any words? Does she need to hand off the littles to me and regroup? Yes, the answer is yes. No matter what you might think, no matter how amazing she is or how much she loves your children, the answer is yes because while she is a superwoman, she is only a human.
Ask her how her day has been and let her tell you
Talk to her. Not at her. Ask her questions. Listen to her answers. Let her vent. Give her a hug. Let her cry. Be tolerant. Be patient. Be kind. Most importantly, be understanding and know that she is probably really tired and very hungry.
Entertain the kids after dinner
She made dinner. She bathed the kids. Offer to put them to bed. Offer to read them stories. Take one thing off of her super piled high mom plate. Be proactive. It will make your relationship with your wife and your kids better. You are part of the team, not a spectator. These are truly the best gifts to get new moms and moms everywhere of all ages and it’s free, with the exception of a little effort.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah and wishing you lots of peace and love in your marriage and your parenthood. You can do it. You just need to want to. Let’s be honest, as a mom, I would prefer a gift of the middle of the night feeding duty, dishwashing, folding and putting away laundry, baby wrangling and time alone to breathe, eat, play my music at full blast over diamonds and bags any day of the year. That’s saying a lot because I love my diamonds and bags but time for me, consideration, and respect for what I do from the ones I love, is worth more than anything else.
As a mom, what do you consider the best gifts to get new moms? Best gifts to get moms? Do you think the best gifts for moms are free?

2020/12/13
The Different Kinds of Moms You Meet on the First Day of School
How can it already be the first day of school? This morning my girls went back to school and, honestly, I am not ok with it. Usually, by this point in the summer, I am ready for them to go back to school. We all begin to get a little bored with one another and crave our routine but not today.
This morning, I wanted to sleep in and cuddle a little longer. I wanted my morning pile in. I wanted brunch and long conversations about nothing. I wanted to watch all the cheesy horror movies and rom coms together. I wanted a few more lazy days of togetherness. I wanted it to be harder for them to go but it wasn’t. It was one of the easiest mornings we’ve ever had.
We just got back from a relaxing RV beach vacation in Cape Hatteras on Monday. Tuesday, I took the girls to get their new back to school/big girl haircuts and pick up some back to school supplies. Yesterday, we had a lazy girl’s day with grandma and today, I swear my girls aged 3 years since we returned from vacation. I’m not joking, I’m positive Bella grew 2 inches this week because she’s at least 2 inches taller than me now and she wasn’t last week.
I used to write about wanting to collapse in the kindergarten corridor because all the new moms were doing it. Misery enjoys company and if everyone else is doing it, well, there’s no shame in assuming the fetal position and sobbing like a baby. Then I moved on to doing a sort of ninja warrior sprint through the kindergarten hallway to get to my slightly older girls’ classrooms.
READ ALSO: Why 3rd Grade Sucks and I prefer the Weeping Mothers of K-2
By last year, I was cocky. I wasn’t crying. I was thrilled about the sound of silence that fills an empty house. I even brazenly walked my girls, right past those collapsed moms, stepping over the one by one, chest puffed out as I walked my girls to the middle school corridor. I walked them into their classes and kissed them just because I could. I knew they wanted to run rather than let the other kids see but unfortunately for them, years of being the cool room mom have made my presence always acknowledged by the kids.
But this morning, my big girls with their long legs and new hairstyles didn’t need me to walk them in. There was no box full of Kleenex and disinfectant wipes to use as an excuse so I dropped them in the drop off line like all the other parents. Both of them in the middle school corridor this year.
I would have been fine except the Big Guy, who obviously hates me when he kissed us each goodbye this morning told the girls to have a great first day. Bella, my eighth grader, said, “Nah, it’s going to be boring.” because that’s what eighth graders do because they are actually too cool for school. To which my brilliant and cruel husband responded, “Well, enjoy it kiddo because next year it’s off to high school for you.” Then, he left and I fell down dead. He killed me and I’m sure he didn’t think twice or even realize that I am wounded.
READ ALSO: The First Day of Kindergarten
So instead of dropping my girls off this morning and doing my happy dance for uninterrupted work time and no more background noise of tween/teen bickering, I dropped my girls off with a swift kiss and an I love you. I think my voice may have even cracked as I swallowed hard to compose myself. I don’t think they even noticed and that’s what I want. Independent, happy young ladies who face every new day and challenge like it’s an adventure. I let go and it freaking hurt. Hey, what’s going on? This isn’t kindergarten.
I won’t lie, I thought of pulling into the primary parking lot and taking a stroll into the kindergarten corridor to be among my people this morning because I could have used a good fetal position ugly cry. The girls would have never known. Instead, I came home and wrote a sad post about letting go when you don’t want to and holding on for as long as you can. But eventually, we all have to let go. And damn it, next year there’s high school. I wonder if they have a secret freshman mom hallway where I can ugly cry? Well, you know me, where there’s a will there’s a way. If there isn’t one, I’ll make one.
Happy first day of school moms.
Whether you are celebrating or sobbing, you’re doing it right and don’t get too cocky, motherhood is not a straight line. There is an unexpected ebb and flow to it. Some days you are on top of the world and other days, you are in desperate need of life’s kindergarten corridors.
2018/08/09
In Defense of VSCO Girls Everywhere a Parents Guide to Understanding VSCO girls
I’m a VSCO mom. I used to be a VSCO girl, back in the 90’s. I was one of the original VSCO girls, so I do not begrudge my girls a little social consciousness with a side of scrunchie, messy bun and oversized shirts. I love that my girls care more about the environment and saving turtles than who they’ll be giving their scrunchies too.
According to Google, VSCO girl is a term, generally used as an insult, for a young, usually white woman who posts trendy pictures of herself edited on the app VSCO. Stereotypes of the VSCO girl include wearing Birkenstock sandals, drinking out of Hydro Flask reusable water canisters, saying sksksk and I oop, and generally seeking attention online.
I actually love the VSCO girl idea because at the heart of it, what it really is, is young girls finding themselves. We’ve all been there. When I was a teen, I was several iterations of myself. I was a new wave emo girl, I was a prep, I was a social activist, I was a crunchy hippie and I was a little bit grungy. I was most definitely a nerd, an artist and at one point, I was even a club kid. I’m pretty sure I was 1000% more annoying than any kid saying. “sksksk” ever could be.
READ ALSO: Parents Guide to Teen Slang
Just to be clear, I am a grown woman now and I always use the VSCO app for my Instagram. I’ve been wearing Birkenstocks since the 80’s. My girls are wearing some of the scrunchies I’ve had since the 90’s and still wear now. Hydro Flask, Swell, Yeti…I have all of them because I drink water almost exclusively. Water is life. I am and have always been very socially conscious and I’ve put my money where my mouth was. PETA, Greenpeace, Amnesty International and WWF, I’m a card carrying member. I want to save the world. I want to save the elephants and yes, I even want to save the turtles. We (the whole family) own those metal reusable straws. We recycle and vegetarian is how we roll most days of the week.
What does all of this have to do with anything? What it means is that right now, your little/tween/teen/even early 20’s girl is trying on different personalities for size to see which one best fits her. Just because that might not look like what you imagined, doesn’t mean it’s not right. She’s finding her way and there is nothing we could want more for our girls (and boys) than for them to be the best them they can be and be comfortable in their own skin as they do it.
So what if she’s carrying around a hydro flask? So what if her sweatshirt can fit 2 girls inside of it and her shorts are tiny? So what if her favorite hairstyle is a top knot? Maybe this is how she feels beautiful and how she feels comfortable in her skin. Is it really the worst thing that she can do to have a wrist full of scrunchies? The “sksksksksk” is just another way to say “lol” and who among us hasn’t used that? And I know that no one who ever said, “Gnarly, dude, rad, totally or awesome sauce” is making fun of sksksk.
The thing is VSCO girl is being thrown around like an insult to our girls. I know we all think it’s cute and the VSCO girl memes are entertaining. Hell, even our girls being VSCO girls might be entertaining but do we really need another derogatory term to belittle our girls? There are already so many employed by the misogynist of the world do we need more?
Just remember, these tweens and teen girls are just trying to figure out who they want to be in life. It’s like trying on clothes to see what you feel the most beautiful in. Let her look at herself with an untainted heart. Maybe she’s a VSCO girl and maybe she’s not but let her figure that out. As parents, especially as moms, we are here to support and guide our girls into adulthood not shame them into feeling less than. The world will do that soon enough.
READ ALSO: Teen Girls Rebel when teen boys rate Female Classmates
Being a VSCO girl is harmless, even if it may be annoying to you. I’m sure when we were teens, our parents thought a lot of the fads and slang we used was weird and crazy too. Maybe they said something to make you feel less than about it or maybe they just let you try it on for size. Bless my parents, they let me be and loved me for who I was, whomever that was on any given day.
This is how we grow and evolve into who are meant to be. Just imagine if that process was cut short by ridicule and we never fully reached our potential because of what other people thought? Or what if we never felt comfortable in our own skin because someone else made us feel like we weren’t good enough?
You are good enough. Your VSCO girl is good enough. Viva Hydro Flasks and long live the turtles. So next time you think about using the term VSCO girl as an insult, ask yourself, is this giggle worth making my daughter feel small or making her think twice about sharing the next iteration of who she will become with you? Because before any of us can become who we are meant to be, we have to be who we were. This is how we grow up.
READ ALSO: The TRUTH about Parenting Teenagers from a Mom of Teens
What do you think of the VSCO Girl? Did you used to be one? Are you raising one? Whatever the case may be, hug your VSCO girl, let her be all the versions of herself she needs to be to become the fabulous, fierce woman she is meant to be and keep your “and I oop” moments about her in your head (unless she’s in danger). This too shall pass.
XOXO, VSCO mom out.
2019/10/25
Food is Love
When I think of food, I think of love. Not like, my food loves me but I associate food with the feelings of being cared about by someone who loves you; like my mother making me a grilled cheese after school on a cold winter day when I was a small child or how she made me that same favorite grilled cheese when I was overcome with morning sickness when I was pregnant with my first child. There is something comforting and beautiful about a food made with such love and caring as a mother providing food for her child.
I think most people think of food in this way. That’s probably why we have that old saying, “A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Maybe there is something to it. Most people celebrate the big occasions in life with food because it’s a way to share a special moment with family and friends, punctuated by the warm, permeating smells of something delicious baking in the oven.
I think I probably learned this as a small child watching my mom cook for my father and the six of us children. Some of my fondest memories as a child are centered on our kitchen table as we all shared a meal. I want that for my children. The meal is about more than just the food, it’s about gathering together and talking about your day. It’s about listening and caring. In a word, it’s about love.
This is why my family has dinner together every night and on weekends, all meals are eaten gathered around our dining table after we spend the prep time in the kitchen together. Those cooking stand at the stove while those not sit at the island, watching and learning. We’ve done this with our girls since they were very small.
They’ve always had an interest in cooking and want to learn the recipes we’ve had handed down from our mothers and grandmothers. I always get a warm fuzzy feeling when they ask, “Mommy, when I grow up, will you teach me how to make your enchiladas/ secret recipe meatloaf/lemon Greek soup?” My standard answer is, “Yes, of course,” then I whisper, “ It’s all on the blog.”
Of course like most kids, they love anything I cook or bake even more so if they have a hand in it and I think it’s important to encourage them to experiment. I want it to be a fun experience not something I take so seriously that I yell at every imperfection. I just breathe and remind myself that there is a special beauty in the imperfections and these precious moments are few and fleeting the older they get. Pretty soon, I am sure they will both be better cooks than I am.
There is one thing that they love to bake together as often as possible, Pillsbury™ Grands! Cinnamon Rolls. Maybe, like my mom’s grilled cheese does for me, it holds some special part in their heart. All I know is that if they see them in the refrigerator, they always get a little sparkle in their eye because they know that we will be together in the kitchen baking them.
There is just something special about biting into that first bite of a warm, gooey cinnamon roll especially when someone you love made it. For Valentine’s Day, I thought a fun way to surprise the girls was with a batch of Pillsbury™ Grands! Cinnamon Rolls. Each bite reminding them of how much their mom loves them. This is so simple but something they will remember forever and might someday do for their own children. It’s quick, it’s easy and what’s more special than waking up to the sweet smell of cinnamon rolls on a cold Midwestern morning?

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by General Mills through their partnership with POPSUGAR Select. While I was compensated to write a post about Pillsbury™ Grands! Cinnamon Rolls, all opinions are my own.
2016/02/12
The Do Over Proposal that I Never Expected
When you were a little girl, what did you imagine your perfect proposal to look like? If you’re a guy, did you agonize over how to propose and make sure that you got a yes? I guess that would be stressful. I never really imagined the perfect wedding proposal. For me, it was more about the perfect guy proposing.
Not perfect like a Greek god. Not perfect like a model or earning a certain income. Perfect in that he loved me unconditionally, just as I am. Perfect in that I loved him the same. The perfect proposal to me had nothing to do with anybody getting down on their knee and everything to do with being willing to stand by my side for the rest of our lives.
Our original proposal was nothing short of comical. Endearing and filled with good intentions but more impulsive than it could have been. I was shocked and I was flattered but mostly, I was knocked off my feet by how soon in our relationship he knew that I was “the one.” I had never been anyone’s, “the one” before.
After 12 months of relationship I was already choosing between wedding ballrooms and dresses, 11 years later, I finally got “the proposal”. The one you read about on fairytale wedding blogs. The ones photographed in perfect sunset light and captured in remote destinations. Only, mine was in my living room.
This past weekend was the Big Guy and my 11th wedding anniversary. It was pretty special since last year for our 10th, he had just been downsized and our whole life was up in the air. Not much celebrating went on last year. This year, however, was a completely different story. Is it really possible that I can be more in love with this man by the day?
READ ALSO: I F*cking Love You Man
We met in college, at a bar, through a mutual friend. He very nonchalantly looked down at me ( since he is a towering 6’5″ ) and said, “Hey”. I barely warranted a nod. I thought, “What an asshole!” Anyways, fast forward 4 months and there he is in yet another bar proposing. I was shocked and ill-prepared for such a question.
We had been dating exclusively since a few days after the “hey” incident but isn’t 4 months really soon? Did I mention he asked me in the middle of a bar? No big drop down to your knee with a ring, hush over the crowd, as the DJ booth announces that the big guy needs quiet. No, just a “will you marry me?” in the middle of the dance floor, in the middle of a dance, in the middle of a night of drinking. WTF? I was shocked. I was flattered. I was confused. I was lucky. It took me a couple days to give him an answer, because as I mentioned…I was shocked. In 4 months, I was not expecting a ring.
Being the list making thinker that I was I thought about it and realized listen to your heart, ” Are you, crazy girl? It’s too soon. Then I thought to myself, are you crazy girl…he’s amazing and you love him. This is the way it was all going to end up anyways. He just figured it out first! (That’s why I’m lucky).”
Then I said yes, then I got a ring. He liked it but he wasn’t forking out money to put a ring on it if I didn’t say yes. I did tell you we were in college, right? Anyways, that was my first proposal back on January 28, 1998. The one that I found out later was supposed to be Valentine’s Day proposal ( how romantic) but he was nervous and jumped the gun…that’s why he didn’t actually have a ring on him.
For our 5th wedding anniversary, he got me an upgraded ring. My original one was beautiful and it is very special to me but my 5-year one was something else. Lots of sparkle and shine, just like I like. Then he whisked me off to a hot and steamy vacation for two in New Orleans. I came home with really frizzy hair from the heat, and I’m pretty sure all the booze and love gave me our first daughter. Talk about a souvenir!
READ ALSO: Ten Things to do in New Orleans to Get Pregnant
Fast forward, 6 years later to our do over 10 year anniversary ( our 11th anniversary) and the big guy has once again, shocked me! Oh yes, Ladies, he came home ( from out of town work) and the girls were napping. He had a sandwich and sat dawn and watched a little bit of trash tv the Real Housewives of New York with me. He let me ramble on about some inane scenario that was taking place and then he left the room. I figured he went out to use the bathroom, check his email, who knows. We’ve been married for 11 years, I don’t ask him where he’s going every time he leaves the room, anymore.
I am sitting there, mind you with my grimy gardening clothes on, hair pulled back in a bun with crazy curls sprouting everywhere from the humidity…not a stitch of makeup on. I turn around and I’ll be damned if he is not next to my chair on his knee. Yes, his KNEE. I have been waiting for this my whole life. It was “the proposal”, I always wanted and never got. But I figured as long as the guy was the right one, who cares if the proposal wasn’t what I had always expected.
Next, I heard him saying “Now, will you marry me?” I think. I was in such shock. I was so happy, I grabbed that ring and hugged his neck and squeezed him and kissed him and said: ” Of course!” ( We are planning a vow renewal for our 15th..some place warm).
I understand now what that crazy reaction is that women have when they are asked to marry the man of their dreams when they have been waiting for it..expecting it. The ring is gorgeous. I am totally in love with my new ring, almost as much as I am with my husband. It is very special to me because it is actually the ring I was proposed to with!
To top it all off, the next day ( our actual anniversary) we had a wonderful date ( alone without children) and it was amazing hanging out with my best friend, soul mate, the man of my dreams and just talk and hear and see one another. Then I found out he was going to propose that night at the restaurant..drop to his knee, in the restaurant..how romantic. There he goes jumping the gun..again! I so love this man. I can’t believe that he still makes my heart swoon. Thanks baby for being everything I never knew, I always wanted! Te amo!
These are some of the pictures from date night on our anniversary! We are goofs, but I can not imagine my life any other way. So full of love and joy. My cup runneth over!
What did your “the proposal” moment entail?
2010/05/19
Hell Hath no Fury Like Laundrypalooza
Perpetual Laundry; the bane of my existence
Laundry anyone? When I was single, I only had to do 3 loads of laundry a week.3!!! Then I got married and that number went up to 4-5 per week, but he helped and actually I was doing less laundry.There was time to do all my errands and chores and a place for everything to be put away. There were no little people to pull things off the shelf, spill drinks or eat with their entire faces versus just their mouths. It was a simpler time, when laundry was just one of my household chores and not the overwhelming task it is today.
If you have little ones, and I am assuming that most of you do, you understand my agony over laundry. I have a 4 and 6 year old and I am perpetually doing laundry. I try as hard as I can but I NEVER seem to be able to catch up. Never! My little girls change their clothes, literally, 7 times a day…at least! If they are not changing their panties because they had a “drip” (which reminds me, do any of your daughter’s have this issue? I don’t know if this is normal or if they are hyper sensitive or if I need to get them to the doctor. Get back to me, will you please?) they are changing from their pants into dresses and back again, changing their shirt in the process. Heaven forbid that my little princesses dribble milk or sauce gets on them, foggedaboutit. No sooner than it happens their tiny little clothes are already falling to the ground. Should I be worried about how easily and seamlessly this happens? I hope this isn’t a sign of things to come. Girls, keep your clothes on! My hamper can’t even keep up.
Laundry breeds when piled and sustains itself on socks.
To be honest, when we moved in earlier this year, I was really impressed with myself at how well I had managed to fold, put away and FIT all the laundry. Oh yeah, I was all cocky, walking around with my holier than though “My laundry is caught up, folded and put away, is yours?” look. Imagine my surprise, when I realized that I had at least one over sized laundry hamper overflowing with laundry…in the back of my SUV. This means, these girls have more clothes than I can actually fit into my house. You’d think they have more clothes than necessary but as evidenced by their 7 costume changes per day, you’d be wrong. Dead wrong.
On an average day, there is one load in the washer; one load in the dryer; two loads sorted on the floor to be washed and usually 2 from earlier in the day piled in a laundry mountain that the girls keep jumping into like the autumn leaves. Sometimes the clothes get folded and make it to a basket, or a couch, or the bed only to be relocated at bed time ( because they still have not walked themselves to their designated drawers) and sometimes the mountain just grows. On particularly busy Mom days, the laundry mountain dangerously high. I just know I should invest in one of those life alert necklaces so that when it finally avalanches upon me and envelopes me in the smell of soft ocean mist I can be found by rescue workers.
Six years after having my first child and I’m in the throes of laundrypalooza. I should honestly buy stock in Tide and Downy because at least that way, I’d be getting something out of all of this besides just carpal tunnel syndrome from all the folding (well, maybe it’s more tennis elbow from all the flinging of laundry because honestly, not so much folding ever really gets done over here.) Which reminds me, today at Kroger, the cart buster deal of the day is $2.50 off of Tide via this digital download coupon only available at https://bit.ly/wxfnIU.
Tide; The Laundry Tamer
Thank you to Kroger for sponsoring my participation in the “Deal Of The Day” promotion. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective. All opinions expressed here are my own.
Attention Kroger Shoppers! Shop the Kroger Cart Buster event from February 26–March 10 for great values. Find out about all the savings at www.CartBuster.com! And from February 29-March 6, download exclusive, digital coupons for Kroger’s “Deal Of The Day” for even MORE savings at https://bit.ly/wxfnlU. Happy Savings! Why not start a sneak attack on that laundry pile?
2012/03/01
This Blogger’s Life Lori Garcia ( Mommyfriend)
Today, I am honored to welcome my dear friend, Lori Garcia aka MommyFriend to This Blogger’s Life. Lori is a very talented writer with an always half-full personality and an infectious smile that shines through in her pieces. She is the woman who walks into a room and instantly brightens it up and her writing makes the Internet a better place.
When I first “met” Lori, we were both newbie bloggers who were just trying to figure all of this out. We knew we loved to write and blogging allowed us connections and community at a time in motherhood when we were craving friendships and connections like the air we breathed. Lori is and has always been the kind of person who every woman needs as a friend; she is kind, genuine and sincerely a good person who loves her family and looks for the good in life. We need more people, more writers, more friends like Lori.
Lori is also known as MommyFriend and it suits her perfectly because she is truly a mommy friend that every single one of us needs in life. Her passion for the stories that she tells coupled with her optimistic perspective, always leaves me wanting more. The one thing that always radiates from Lori’s articles is humanity. She tells her truth with wild abandon and unrestrained honesty.
Lori can write about anything and make it interesting but my favorite stories that she shares are her love stories for her family; her boys. The pride and love that she has for her family inspires me to be a better wife and mother. She is one of the kindest and most tenacious women I know and it makes me so happy to see her enjoying such amazing success as a writer, all over the internet.
I’m honored to call Lori my friend and it’s my privilege to have her on This Blogger’s Life today.
This Blogger’s Life…Lori Garcia (MommyFriend)

Why did you start blogging? I always loved writing and after working in an uncreative field for a decade, I decided it was time to scratch that creative itch and begin sharing my stories.

What’s one piece of advice that you would give to a new blogger? Decide what you’re willing to share and not share for the almighty dollar. It’s easier to make these important decisions and stick to them long before a financial carrot is dangled in front of you. If you’re unclear about where to draw the line when it comes to public consumption, spend some time thinking about it. What you don’t want to do is learn the hard way. Ask me how I know.

What are the three words that describe you best? Loyal, kind, dependable.

What is your favorite website? Ever? www.amazon.com. Come to Mama.

What is your favorite thing to do when you’re not blogging? Binge watch formerly popular TV shows. I just finished Gossip Girl because I’m 37 years old and that’s totally normal behavior.

What’s the most important thing you’ve learned about yourself from blogging? Not only learning, but learning and believing that I’m not alone in motherhood has been huge for me. My stories help mothers and their stories help me. I feel bigger and bolder as a mother for blogging.

How do you balance life and blogging? Honestly, not very well. The two are so intertwined, making a distinction is nearly impossible for me.

How has blogging changed you or your life? Blogging gave me confidence in the value of my voice, which has translated to so many aspects of my life. From my career to my relationships, blogging has made me the woman, wife, and mother I am today.

What do you think makes a successful blog? A great blog? Are they one in the same? I think a successful blog and a great blog eventually become one in the same. Great content almost always rises to the top because we’re all hungry for it.

If you were to stop blogging today, what would you do with the rest of your life? First, completely remove myself from the grid. Imagine all the time I’d have! Of course, that would probably only last a week or so because I’m a social being and I’d miss everyone too much, but for that week – man, that would be glorious. I don’t know what I;d do. I’m really into home renovation with my husband, so probably more of that.

How do you balance telling your story, without telling the story of others in your life? This is a tough one. My tween son established blogging rules for me to blog by…what does that tell you?

Blogging has changed a lot, just since I started 5 years ago, what do you miss about blogging in the early days? What do you love that has changed? I think I miss the excitement I felt before every publish. Will people read this? Will they like it? Will they comment? I love witnessing the climb of so many remarkable blogger friends who have made a respectable career in this industry. I love witnessing success. Love it.

How do you consistently come up with relevant and shareable content? The blogger’s mind is a funny thing. In time, it comes a bit of a machine, finding blog fodder in every aspect of life. From what we read to what we experience, what we overhear to what we desire, relevant, shareable is everywhere.

If you could have a dinner party for 6 people, living or dead, who would you invite? Ooo, Jesus, my Grandpa Charlie (most awesome man ever), Brandon Flowers (because yum), my husband (because double yum), Bob Villa (I have some home improvement questions), and Elton John.

What’s the one thing that people would be surprised to learn about you? Gosh, I don’t know. I’m pretty much what you’d expect, there’s not a lot of dark corners or secret passageways with me. Maybe that I’m a yell-y mom? I yell a lot. I do.

What’s the one post that you are most proud of? Probably this one. https://www.babble.com/mom/an-open-letter-to-my-gynecologist/

Thank you Lori for letting me interview you on This Blogger’s Life and thank you for always being such an amazing friend and inspiring writer.
XOXO
If you can’t get enough of Lori Garcia, check her out on MommyFriend, Babble and Twitter too!
2014/06/06
Blog Plagiarism~How to prevent it,How to find it & How to STOP it!
Many of you are aware that over the past two weeks, I have experienced an onslaught of blog plagiarism. The plagiarists have been using my blog as their own personal idea bank. Some have stolen my mission, my title and now a direct copy of my post. Don’t these people know there is only one Truthful Mommy and one real The TRUTH about Motherhood and that’s me! Sunday, the plagiarist hack broke my bloggy back and I couldn’t take it anymore. I went to my source for bloggy support, understanding and wisdom…Twitter and my readers. It has to be said, social media can really rock your world in unexpected ways. Within minutes, many of you had sent me helpful sites, legal letters to demand that the infringer take down my material, letters to the plagiarist’s host and even the latest in plagiarism laws. You people amaze me so much that I feel I need to take all the great information that I received and share it to help my fellow bloggers from falling victim to such heinous crimes!
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Photo Credit Chris Lamphear
Prevent Plagiarism
There is no way to truly prevent plagiarism. My blog is clearly marked with a copyright. I also have the BlogProtector plugin that doesn’t allow people to copy and paste my content. Though, obviously that doesn’t stop them from rewriting it verbatim on their own site. But as you all know, where there is a will there is always a way. I believe this in every aspect of my life and so why wouldn’t there be a way to get around this. These unscrupulous plagiarists see your challenge and raise you a cheap imitation or a verbatim copy. Scoundrels, they obviously have no talent of their own to speak of so they set to stealing the intellectual property of those of us who do. The best thing you can do is be proactive, become familiar with the Copyright Act and register your blog/trademark title with the United States Copyright office. As a blogger, it would be particularly beneficial to be familiar with the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA).
How to know if you’re a victim of Plagiarism
There are a whole slew of Wordpress plugins available to help keep you informed as to whether or not you are being plagiarized. There are different software programs available that can check to see if copy is redundant on the internet and in effect let you know if your intellectual property is being used by someone else. A couple free plagiarism checker sites that I found were www.Copyscape.com , Google Alerts and www.Duplichecker.com. You can also purchase Plagiarism Detector software, which I hear is good but I have not personally tried it ( obviously) but would like to have something that could tell me in real time when someone has copied my content rather than stumbling onto it or having it ping-back because the moron plagiarist copied it with an internal link to one of your older posts ( mental midget). Which actually could be a low cost way to catch thieves, internal links to your older posts WILL ping-back and you will catch the perpetrator.So check your spam comments. If you want to do it the hard way, you can always individually Google common phrases in your posts and it will lead you to any duplicates.
How to Stop Plagiarism
Well, personally, I’d love to stop a plagiarist by stringing them up and beating them like a pinata ( but you already knew that, right?) Since we can’t do that, here are a few things we can do to clean up the mess. Under DMCA ( I told you to familiarize yourself with it) you can issue an immediate take down notice. This is good because under the law, the hosting ISP ( according to Black Star Rising, you can find the infringing Web site’s hosting ISP through a “who is” search at sites like Domain Tools or Whois.net) of the infringing plagiarist, while not liable for the plagiarism itself is responsible to remove the material from the site after proper notice has been given. An immediate take down notice would be this notice. For an excellent example of the take down notice check out Black Star Rising. You can also send a legal notice to the plagiarist and ask them to remove the copyrighted material and threaten legal action.
This course of action was suggested by one of my readers ..
“If you produce the content, you own it and deserve any and all commercial benefits deriving therefrom. (I’m writing a story on this for one of my clients right now so I’m all up to date and ready for a fight with content pirates.)
If that ( the immediate take down notice) doesn’t work, you can always go their advertisers or ad syndication network to let them know that their ads are appearing on the site of a content pirate. That can make them skedaddle fast.
You can also take the licensing approach as in: “Hey, how awesome that you are finding value in my content! I noticed we don’t have a license agreement in place so here’s one for you to sign, along with an invoice for $$$ for your use of my content.” Who knows, you may even get a new revenue stream out of it. “
I think she is brilliant!
Other courses of action? If you know of any other please let me know. And if you think this can help any of your blogger friends, please share it. I think most of us are pretty trusting and there is so little known about how to stop these plagiarists, we need to be armed with all the relevant information that we can get hold of. Thanks for all the help, support and advice. Do me a solid, if you see my work on anyone else’s site, let me know. I’ll bring the bat and we can all celebrate by taking whacks at that damn plagiarism pinata![/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]
2011/07/12