The TRUTH About Motherhood

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A Little Pampering Goes a Long Way
This week I left the frigid below zero temperatures of the Midwest bound for LA and 70 degree weather to attend the #WeAllGrow Summit for Latinas. To say that I’m excited is a gross understatement. I’ve been doing all the usual fun conference stuff like obsessing over what to wear (in LA since I’ve never been), scheduling a little pampering for myself (so I don’t frighten any other bloggers away) and trying to schedule in face time with some of my favorite bloggers.
I’ve been badgering all of my LA friends about what I should wear because I don’t want to get laughed or pointed at and was told by my friend Jessica that I could wear sandals in February but my pedicure better be on point. I live in the Midwest; so obviously, my pedicure is not on point. Not even close. My feet have been hiding inside of fur-lined boots, my skin has been buried under layers of clothing and my entire beauty regime consists of mostly bathing, brushing my teeth and moisturizing. I’m not setting foot in California in this state, lest the pointing begin.
I’m dying the grays, waxing all the hair and undoubtedly getting my pedicure and manicure. I tried to schedule in a massage too but between deadlines and life, I just ran out of time. While a massage would have been perfect for relaxing my mind before a long day of flying and a week of intense networking, it just wasn’t meant to be. Next time, I’d really like to try a thai yoga massage.
I can imagine the smell of lavender oils and the ambient lighting filling the room. The scent of lavender always reminds me of a relaxing spa day. It’s one of those luxuries that we moms are not often afforded. I’m like Pavlov’s dogs in that way; I smell lavender, I instantly relax and associate the situation with luxurious pampering.
So imagine my surprise when I received a large box of Angel Soft toilet paper, lavender scented. Yes, it smells so good. My entire bathroom smells like a spa. I know it’s just toilet paper, but isn’t it the little things that make life special. In case you are wondering (because I was), no it’s not purple. It’s the same Angel soft toilet paper that it’s always been, only it smells fantastic and you’ll feel like you are pampering yourself every time you use it.
If you are interested in learning more or winning a year’s supply for yourself, you should totally RSVP for the Twitter party.
#LlevalaSuave Bilingual Twitter Party with @AngelSoftLatino
Date: Thursday, March 5, 2015, 5pm PST / 8pm EST
Where: On Twitter with the hashtag #LlevalaSuave
You can use this link for easy access starting now: https://twubs.com/LlevalaSuave
Co-Hosts: @En_TuZapatos @LorraineCLadish @MamaXXI @SassyMamainLA
Moderators: @lbconnect @laflowers
Special Guest: @AngelSoftLatino
Prizes: Three (3) giveaways of one (1) year’s supply of Angel Soft® with Fresh Lavender Scent bath tissue and a $100 gift card to a Spa
This is a sponsored campaign in collaboration with Angel Soft® and Latina Bloggers Connect. However, all opinions expressed are my own.

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2015/02/27
Confessions of an Out of Control Online Shopper
You know what really makes me feel out of sorts? Trying to online shop like a normal, functioning human being instead of the out-of-control, gabillion browser tab-having, aimless browsing CYBER-TROLL that I really am. Enter the BAB shopping app.
There you are, just an innocent mom looking for a new sundress or sandals for an upcoming beach vacay with the family. You pull up one website to peep their spring collection. Cute prints, fair prices, you add a few picks to your cart to mull over.
Then, out of nowhere, the primal shopping maniac possesses your cursor. Next thing you know, you spiral into a multi-hour, multi-store, multi-browser BENDER of massively disappointing proportions.
Disclosure: The video in this post is sponsored but all opinions about BAB shopping app are my own.
Suddenly it’s 3am…you’re drunk off buying power…you have 9,428 open windows…and $2,718 worth of COMPLETELY INCONGRUOUS SHIZZ in carts across 27 different websites.
You’ve got:
- 16 sundresses (no shoes or accessories)
- 7 hideous candle options
- Half of Home Goods’ dinnerware section
- A $179 dog raincoat (you don’t own a dog)
- 37 anti-aging serums and supplements
- Some guy’s entire Etsy inventory of garden gnomes
- 68 mini travel accessories from the skymall catalog
…and the free Hulu binge just logged itself out from inactivity. FML.
We’ve all been there, amirite?? Idly clicking and maniacally hitting “add to cart” one too many pairs of ripped mom jeans or seasonal throw pillows we SWORE we needed deep in the money-is-no-object delirium of 2am. We’re about to organize the shopping madness.
Well NO MORE, my digitally unhinged sisters! That feverish shopping psychosis is about to be REINED. THE. EFF. IN!
Introducing: BAB shopping (aka Big Ass Bag) – the revolutionarily simple app that finally wrangles all your frantic online hauling into one blessedly organized place.
With BAB you can: ✨Curate collections for every niche interest or hobby (baby showers, gardening, dog mom-ing, crystals, you name it!) ✨Budget shop across dozens of sites just using one easy payment method ✨See at a glance how much you’re spending and where ✨Compile lookbooks and outfits in one clickable place ✨Share/collaborate carts with other mom friends …and more!
It’s all the indulgent, unhinged joy of window shopping from the comfort of your couch (or bathroom, no judgment) – but without the frantic CLOSING of 94 tiny browser search windows when your husband/roommate walks in.
You can leave BAB open indefinitely and it somehow makes your compulsive digital hauling seem…organized? Curated, even? A COLLECTION, not a cry for help!
And yes, it’s absolutely a place to harmlessly DUMP those 3am impulse purchases that sober-light hits and you immediately regret. BAB doesn’t judge your 11th pair of ugly Crocs this month, friend. We’ve all been there!
So for all you mompulsive online shopaholics out there – the digital black holes who leave aimless browser trails of abandoned e-carts in their wake like modern-day Ariadne’s string – get yourself BAB to rein in that feverish online spending energy!
It’s gonna change your entire digital hauling game, promise. (No more waking up at 4am like, “WHY do I have a cart full of male rompers from Banana Republic??” ever again!)
Tag your most out of control online shopping friend and tell her to getBAB-ing, you beautiful unshowered trolls! This simple app is about to be the organized chart-topping banger your life of internet aimless discography has been desperately needing.
So BAB up, haul responsibly, and stay spicy! This is the year we’re all finally getting our financial lives together…ish.
2024/05/17
How Playing More Could Save Our Kids Lives
https://bit.ly/1NnelkQ
Disclosure: This is a compensated campaign in collaboration with National Dairy Council Fuel Up To Play 60 En Español and Latina Bloggers Connect.
As a parent, one of my biggest responsibilities is to teach my daughters healthy habits so they grow up healthy and strong. I am setting the tone for the rest of their lives. It’s a lot harder than it sounds or than I ever could have anticipated.
We live in a world today where a busy lifestyle is the norm and many of us don’t even get the chance to eat breakfast. To add insult to injury, we also live in a time where children are both developing fewer healthy eating habits and moving far less. The hardest part of all is figuring out, among all of these obstacles, how to get our kids moving more and eating healthier.
That’s where programs like Fuel Up to Play 60 come in. It’s the largest in-school health and wellness program founded by the National Dairy Council and the NFL, in collaboration with the USDA, that empowers today’s youth to lead healthier lives. PepsiCo. Foundation is a key partner in the funding of the program extension.
Fuel Up to Play 60 provides online resources and hosts events with NFL players to inspire kids. Even better, the recently launched Fuel Up to Play 60 en español program now offers Spanish language resources, aimed at getting Hispanic parents and communities involved in health, nutrition and fitness inside and outside of the classroom.
In our home growing up, physical activity was always very important to our parents. They always encouraged us to play outside and join sports. When we weren’t at school or doing homework, our dad was always outside with us playing soccer or tennis or taking us to the beach to swim. Some of my fondest memories as a child revolve around long bike rides, runs or hikes with my father.
Physical activity, along with good nutrition, are at the center of Fuel Up to Play 60 en español too. With programs like Fuel Up to Play 60, our children are getting a healthy inschool nutrition and physical activity program that solidifies the healthier lifestyle that we are teaching them at home.
I was fortunate to have had good role models of health, however, I did develop some less desirable eating habits in my early teens. Habits that caused me to gain weight and made staying in shape more and more challenging. I don’t want that for my children.
My philosophy is that it is my responsibility to prevent that from happeningand to instill healthy habits with my children early on. As a Latina mom, I cook a lot of amazing Latino dishes with foods that are rich in flavor and high in calories. They are absolutely delicious, but it’s my job to not let that negatively affect my daughter’s’ health or body image.
I do my part by making healthy substitutions when I can and I teach moderation as a virtue. I make moving feel like a privilege and they have a lot of fun and stay healthy without feeling like they are ever being punished. As far as they are concerned, playing and being active is a fun way to spend their days outside and enjoy their parents. I’ve always made my dishes in the healthy version so they’ve never known the full effects of the high sugar and grease contents of the original recipes. To be honest, at this point, I’m not sure they’d even like it.
To learn more about the Fuel Up to Play 60 program please join us for the Twitter party that will take place on October 15, 2015 at 8PM EST/5PM PST using the hashtag #FuelGreatness with special guest @FUTP60.
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This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of National Dairy Council and Latina Bloggers Connect. The opinions and text are all mine.
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2015/10/09
The Hidden Dangers of Juicing

Do you know the hidden dangers of juicing? A couple weeks ago, I watched the documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead and obviously, related a little too much. I immediately wanted to start juicing as a way to incorporate more fruits and veggies into our everyday diet. The fact that I have read that juicing helps with everything from losing weight to curing cancer made it even that more lucrative.
But I never considered that there could be hidden dangers of juicing.
Juicing is healthy, or so I thought. I’ve known for some time that our diets have began to see a deficit in fresh fruit and vegetables and I want to change that. So, I told my husband that I wanted a juicer for Mother’s Day…but I wanted it now. Why put off til tomorrow what you can do today? Carpe Diem and all that shit.
I must have had that crazy look in my eyes because he agreed and within a few days, my brand spanking new Breville juicer arrived. I was very eager to get started so I downloaded the Joe Juice Diet book ( by the guy who did the Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead documentary) and got started. This is exactly why I am not allowed to watch infomercials. See The Enya incident of 1997, the Zumba incident of 2007, the Meaningful Beauty incident of 2006 and the Insanity & T25 incidents of 2012 and 2013. I am the optimistic insomniac who is easily sold anything in her delirious state. Anyways, I digress.
I got my Breville juicer and decided on a 3-day juice. I served all my juice over ice because I need juice to be cold but you can drink it room temperature if you prefer.
Here is what my juicing experience looked like:
Day 1-3
Breakfast:
Hot water with lemon ( instead of coffee & to jumpstart your metabolism)

Bye-Bye Blue Juice ( ½ cup blueberries, 1 cucumber, 1 lime, 1 pear. Makes 1 serving.)
Snack:
Water/ Coconut Water
Lunch:
Joe’s Mean Green Juice (16 Kale leaves, 2 cucumbers, 8 celery stalks, 4 apples, 1 lemon and a 2-inch piece of fresh ginger. Makes 2 servings.)
Afternoon snack:
Green Citrus ( 4 apples, 4 oranges and 12 handfuls of leafy greens. I use Kale. Makes 2 servings.)
Dinner:
Joe’s Mean Green
Dessert:
Peach Delight (1 sweet potato, 2 ripe peaches, 1 apple, 1 1/3 cup of blueberries and a dash of cinnamon.)
Now, while I liked all of the juices with the exception of the Mean Green which I just haven’t gotten the recipe to taste yet. I think it needs less cucumber. Cucumber is so overpowering and I love it but it’s just been a tad too much for me. Full Disclosure: by the end of day two, I was so famished that I would have eaten my own arm off. I ended up eating an actual salad with grilled chicken. Juicing is hard. I did lose 3 pounds in 3 days and I had a lot of energy.
Bedtime:
Herbal Tea
My experience showed e the hidden dangers of juicing.
I loved the drinks but two things happened to me that I wasn’t anticipating and they scared me a little bit.
1) I had a lot of energy. Like too much. I was talking a lot ( more than usual and if you know me you know that is A LOT!) and apparently, I was very loud and fidgety. Now, this may not be alarming to any of you but for me a person who flirts with mania, well, it felt a little too close to home for me. So, if you are prone to bouts of mania or hypomania, maybe juicing is not for you unless you are trying to induce an episode in which case, call your doctor right now!
2) As a person 16 years in recovery from eating disorders, juicing felt a lot like a gateway drug to restricting. I felt a switch flip and I have been obsessing over everything I put into my mouth ever since which, yes, I did need to be more aware of but didn’t necessarily want to be hyperaware and experience the guilt that I associate with carbs so this has me a little worried. I find it alarming that simply by following a regimented diet for 3 days; I can feel those old tendencies pulling at me so strongly. The good news is that I am completely aware of it and have added whole foods back into my diet but the refined sugars and flours are just not worth it to me at this point. I’m not sure I would recommend juicing for anyone who has had issues with restricting in the past, it could be a trigger.
My plan is to continue juicing for breakfast and for my afternoon and evening snack and to eat healthy meals for lunch and dinner. So my takeaway is that I do love juicing. I love the energy and knowing that I am adding a lot of great fruits and veggies back into our diet and that is good for all us but I could never live on just juice of an extended amount of time. And if you’re interested in learning more about juicing, you can visit https://juiceguru.com.
Also, I don’t drink a lot of alcohol or coffee on a regular basis so I never experienced the usual withdrawals so I can’t tell you how bad those might be. I can say that my morning Bye-Bye Blues juice blend gave me a lot more energy than a cup of coffee ever has.
Tips:
Don’t overdue the kale because it can be bad for you
Remove peels from citrus
A little lemon/lime go a LONG way
Cucumber is powerful
Remove the pits from peaches
Remove seeds from your apples ( cyanide). I forgot.
Use organic ingredients if you are juicing the skin
Too much fruits equal too much sugar.
Do you juice? Please share your favorite juicing or smoothie recipes?
Have you discovered any hidden dangers to juicing?
2014/03/24
13-year-old Latino Boy, Christian Dorscht, Shot at by Off-Duty LAPD Cop for Walking on Lawn
On Tuesday, an off-duty LAPD officer fired his weapon during a confrontation with a 13-year-old Latino boy, Christian Dorscht, who had allegedly “walked on his lawn”. That was enough to set off a chain of events that could have left one child dead for simply being a teenager. As a parent, what would you do if Christian Dorscht were your child? (more…)
2017/02/23
Lemonade
Watch the entire Lemonade album. Beyonce has something to say and she is saying it, no holds barred.
I love how raw and real Lemonade is. She has put to film and lyrics the female condition.
Leave your thoughts in the comments. Let’s discuss.
https://www.facebook.com/Beyonceup/videos/705294692944367/
2016/04/26
What Gwen Stefani Taught Me about Parenting
I learned something life altering at the Gwen Stefani concert last Sunday.Raising girls has taught me to be a better woman. My little girls are no longer little girls. . It is beautiful and sad at the same time. On one hand, they amaze me by the young ladies they are becoming but on the other hand, to be honest, I am nostalgic for the babies who so desperately needed me. I’m torn. Happy for this new phase of real closeness that’s replacing the relationship where I got to be the hero. But, on the other hand, I do miss being the hero. Being human in your child’s eyes is both humbling and liberating but absolutely equalizing. Everybody who has ever had a child that’s grown into an adult knows this. I’m still figuring this all out.
Something strange is happening in our house, the girls are growing up and turning into actual human beings that I love spending time with. The thing is that this is not what I expected. I based my parenting beliefs on one untruth that my daughters would naturally separate from me as they grew older. I was dreading it but this is something I was counting on saving me from dying from a broken heart when they leave for college. But, contrary to my experience with my own mother, we seem to be growing even closer as they enter these years and this scares the hell out of me. How am I to survive the pending separation in a few years?
I’m not the kind of mom who would ever keep her kids close for her own satisfaction. I had that done to me and, honestly, I think it truly altered the course of my life. No, I believe that if you love something you have to set it free. I have to give my children wings to fly, no matter how much my selfish heart wants to clip them and keep them with me forever. The thought of not seeing their faces every single day breaks my heart. I try not to think about it too much.
Lately, I find myself catching my breath at the realization that I made this. When they were newborns, I used to be in awe of their sheer perfection. How could someone so imperfect give life to something so amazing and unscathed? But now, I sometimes watch them while they sleep and stand in silence and awe because I can’t believe these amazing humans they are becoming. It’s more than just cute and smart and funny, it’s big hearts with passionate minds and an openness that blows my heart wide open. They’ve been living in this world and they actively pursue goodness. They strive to love in a world filled with so much hate. They inspire me to be better. Then I’m stopped in my tracks when I realize they are reflections of their father and I and that’s wow. HUGE!
I remember being thrilled with each passing milestone; each defiant act of independence made my heart explode a little bit. The thing is this summer, there has been a huge shift happening, one I never anticipated…my girls are becoming human beings that I really enjoy being around. I thought I’d never be able to love them more than when they were sweet little newborns and toddlers and depended on me for survival but there is certainly something to be said for your children choosing to be around you rather than just needing to for survival.
This summer has brought some slight physical changes in my girls, things I won’t talk about because it’s my blog and not my story to tell, but I will say at a time when most girls begin to shut their mom’s out, my girls seem to be turning to me for guidance. Yep, I am as baffled by this as you because when I was a tween and I started “changing” I shut my mom out, first thing. But instead, they’re coming to me with questions, and for hugs and guidance.
Somewhere between the last day of school, all of these little changes have been happening very subtly. My cute little caterpillars are changing like whispers into butterflies. We have real conversations about real things and they listen and want my advice. It’s almost overwhelming because I was prepared for battle and instead, I’ve found allies. I didn’t think it was possible to love them any more than I already did but I was wrong. The bond is getting deeper.
The changes are small, minute almost, but they are definite. Suddenly, my baby is almost as tall as me and her feet are only a size smaller than mine. We can shop from the same stores and in the same departments but the thing that surprised me the most is that instead of wanting to be nothing like me, they want to be exactly like me. I don’t deny them this because they could definitely have worse role models. Sometimes I feel a little embarrassed when the oldest wants to dress alike because I’m sure the perception by strangers is that I’m trying to look younger by dressing like my daughter. That’s definitely not the case. I think, in her way, she uses it as a way to pull closer to me at a time when she feels herself naturally pulling away.
It’s a whole host of moments that have happened this summer. The kind that you’d miss if you weren’t paying attention. Moving into the juniors department and leaving the kid’s department behind. A new perspective and dedication to the things they love, not that of a fickle child but of a determined young lady. Suddenly, they are spending more time at the side of the pool talking to me on a lounge chair than cannon balling. Then there are the glances from boys that I don’t think they even notice, but I see it happening.
They are finally cool enough to enjoy Gwen Stefani in concert!
Their taste in music has improved drastically, they now love to play the violin, i got one from https://www.runthemusic.com/violin-for-kids/. We’ve long been past the days of the Wiggles and YoGabbaGabba (well, not too long they will still listen if a CD finds its way into the cd player) but they have been comfortably smack dab in Radio Disney land and that’s ok. They love pop music but suddenly they are developing a taste for alternative and rock and and an openness to all kinds of music (like myself). In fact, we took them to their first ever concert (that wasn’t a kid’s group) to see Gwen Stefani and her This is what the truth feels like tour and they loved it and we loved seeing them love it. It was definitely a moment that I will never forget. So for example, your child loves rap music, let them attend those concerts or join them by searching for rap concerts near me because you can definitely cherish those moments with them.
School starts back next week and I’m honestly sad to see our summer together over. The school year brings with it obligations, rehearsals and a full schedule. We literally have one free day a week. I only have 7 more years, 7 more summers with my oldest in my house before she leaves for college and I can tell you definitely, it is not even near enough.
They say childhood goes by fast but in those first few days holding your newborn, you can never imagine just how fast. It’s a flash and I think if you do it right, when the time comes to send your child out into the world, it will break your heart into a million pieces but you will be able to take peace in the fact that they know you will always be their home and you are always there if they need to come home. At least that is what I’m believing from my short 11 years of parenting.
What was your Gwen Stefani moment this summer with your kids?
2016/08/05
One in Ten Babies is Born this Way
Disclosure: This is a sponsored post written in partnership with the Anthem Foundation, however, all opinions are my own.
Did you know that one in every 10 babies born in the United States is born prematurely? In fact, I was born prematurely at just barely 7-months. I weighed 4 pounds and my dad said you could fit my entire stretched out body in the space between the crook of his elbow and his wrist. I was tiny. I was jaundiced and I wasn’t what anyone expected.
Babies born prematurely before 37-weeks gestation can face a host of issues like breathing problems, difficulty with feedings, cerebral palsy, developmental delays, vision and hearing impairments. I know first-hand that these are true because I myself have had chronic breathing related issues my entire life and live with a 15% hearing loss. I was sick a lot as a child, almost constantly in the early years and fun fact, my mom said when I was born I was covered in lanugo. That usually falls off before you are born, but when you are born prematurely, you’re simply not done gestating.
In the U.S., prematurity is the number one killer of babies, and those born just a few weeks early have higher rates of illness and hospitalization compared to full-term newborns. In addition to the stress and worry toll, it takes on parents, the cost of prematurely born babies is estimated at more than $26 billion annually by the National Academy of Medicine. No new parent needs that extra financial burden on top of trying to care for a premature newborn. The Anthem Foundation is investing in healthy maternal practices, giving more babies a healthy start in life.
Can you imagine? Being so excited for your brand new baby, waiting for months to hold her in your arms and then realizing she came too early before her little body was ready to be born; before she was fully formed and functional to live on the outside. My parents said the worry was constant in those first few months, especially since they were first-time parents to this tiny premature baby. But that was a long time ago and there have been significant advancements in prenatal care and the programs women have that provide them with more easily accessible information about pregnancy and their bodies.
Since 2010, the Anthem Foundation has provided more than $4.3 million in grant funding to the March of Dimes to scale up and implement several programs that encourage and facilitate first-trimester prenatal care and help at-risk mothers commit to behaviors that reduce the numbers of low-birthweight babies.
These programs include quality improvement initiatives related to the elimination of early elective deliveries, smoking cessation, Healthy Babies are Worth the Wait Community Programs® and a group prenatal care model called CenteringPregnancy® (CP). This last program brings together 8 to 10 women with similar due dates, and from all races, ages and socio-economic backgrounds. The women meet for nine sessions. In the last year, more than three thousand women were registered, of which 1,410 were Latinas. By 2020, the Census Bureau projects that there will be more than 13.8 million Hispanic women of childbearing age.
Get Informed visit www.marchofdimes.org and https://www.anthem.foundation.
2017/06/15
The Strangers Chapter 1 Review
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
Hey there, my fellow horror enthusiasts! Ready to dive into the spine-chilling world of “The Strangers Chapter 1”? If you’re a fan of heart-pounding, edge-of-your-seat horror flicks, then buckle up because this one’s a doozy! Talk about a terrifying tale of survival in a remote cabin. It really might. make you rethink that airbnb in the woods. Also, it’s the perfect summer horror movie to watch with your teens. Just the right amount of creepy.

Picture this: a young couple, played by the talented Madelaine Petsch and Froy Gutierrez, find themselves stranded in the middle of nowhere when their car decides to take a permanent vacation. As if that wasn’t bad enough, they’re forced to seek shelter in a remote cabin that screams, “GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!” But hey, where’s the fun in that?
Disclosure: I was provided a screener of The Strangers Chapter 1 for review purposes but all opinions are my own. Rated R with a runtime of 91 minutes.
Now, I don’t know about you, but if I were in their shoes, I’d be hightailing it out of there faster than a toddler running from bedtime. But our brave (or foolish) protagonists decide to stick it out, unaware of the terrifying night that awaits them.
Enter the three masked strangers, who apparently missed the memo on basic human decency. These creepy intruders have one mission: to terrorize the poor couple with no mercy and seemingly no motive. It’s like they woke up and thought, “Hey, let’s ruin someone’s night for funsies!”
As the night progresses, the couple finds themselves in a desperate fight for survival. They’re forced to confront their deepest fears and make split-second decisions that could mean the difference between life and death. And let me tell you, the suspense is so thick, you could cut it with a knife (but please don’t, because that’s just asking for trouble).
What sets “The Strangers Chapter 1” apart from other horror movies is the sheer unpredictability of the masked assailants. Their motives are unclear, making their actions all the more terrifying. It’s like playing a twisted game of cat and mouse, except the mice are armed with nothing but their wits and a whole lot of adrenaline.

Madelaine Petsch and Froy Gutierrez deliver outstanding performances, bringing depth and authenticity to their characters. You can’t help but root for them as they navigate this nightmarish scenario, and their chemistry on-screen is palpable. It’s the kind of connection that makes you invest in their survival, even as the odds stack up against them.
The remote cabin setting adds an extra layer of isolation and helplessness to the story. It’s the perfect backdrop for a horror movie, with its creaky floorboards, eerie shadows, and a distinct lack of Wi-Fi (because let’s face it, that’s the real horror here). The filmmakers masterfully use the environment to heighten the tension, making you feel like you’re right there with the characters, holding your breath and praying for daylight.
“The Strangers Chapter 1” is just the beginning of what promises to be a thrilling horror series. It sets the stage for more chilling adventures to come, leaving you both satisfied and craving more. It’s the kind of movie that makes you double-check your locks and think twice about venturing into the great outdoors. Talk about a terrifying tale of survival in a remote cabin?

So, if you’re ready for a heart-pounding, adrenaline-fueled ride, then “The Strangers Chapter 1” is the movie for you. Available on PEST / PVOD on June 7, 2024! Thank you Lionsgate for a new horror movie series to look forward to. Just make sure you have a buddy to watch it with, because trust me, you’ll need someone to clutch onto when the jump scares hit. And remember, if your car ever breaks down in a creepy small town, maybe just call an Uber instead of seeking shelter in a remote cabin. Better safe than sorry, right?
2024/06/14
Bitch Better Have My 300 Sandwiches-Throat Punch Thursday
Stephanie Smith, beautiful, seemingly intelligent, New York Post writer and author of 300sandwiches.com blog is on a mission to create 300 sandwiches for her gourmet wannabe Alexander Skarsgard lookalike boyfriend.(Shame on you Stephanie for even saying that.) Apparently, before he ever even gets his lazy ass out of bed he likes to ask her how why hasn’t she made him a sandwich? Yeah, a fucking dead rat and arsenic sandwich. Are his legs broken or is it just his brain that is damaged?
My boyfriend, Eric, is the gourmet cook in our relationship, but he’d always want me to make him a sandwich.
Each morning, he would ask, “Honey, how long you have been awake?”
“About 15 minutes,” I’d reply.
“You’ve been up for 15 minutes and you haven’t made me a sandwich?”
To him, sandwiches are like kisses or hugs. Or sex. “Sandwiches are love,” he says. “Especially when you make them. You can’t get a sandwich with love from the deli.”
One lazy summer afternoon just over a year ago, I finally gave in. I assembled turkey and Swiss on toasted wheat bread. I spread Dijon mustard generously on both bread slices, and I made sure the lettuce was perfectly in line with the neatly stacked turkey slices.
Eric devoured the sandwich as if it were a five-star meal, diving in with large, eager bites. “Babes, this is delicious!” he exclaimed.
As he finished that last bite, he made an unexpected declaration of how much he loved me and that sandwich: “Honey, you’re 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring!”
And she squealed with delight and ran to the kitchen to get straight to it….well, right after she bought a domain and a fancy DSLR. Here’s this woman, a very educated, modern day woman who is good at her job, respected among her peers and has everything a woman could ever want with the exception of two things…a proposal from her chauvinistic boyfriend and obviously any self respect.
Basically, she is the dancing monkey in this situation. She’s made 176 sandwiches so far so only a little over half ways to her diamond ring…maybe…if he doesn’t change his mind. Or she doesn’t piss him off or get fat or something better comes along.
This all makes me wonder just what the fuck is wrong with women? I would never tell my boyfriend …just 300 more foot massages and I’ll let you put a ring on it. Just 300 lawns mowed and I will say yes. Only 300 more orgasms and I might consider letting you ask me to marry you. Have we no more self-respect? Has it been so ingrained into our heads as little girls that our only alternatives are to be married and submit to a man or become the dreaded cat lady that we will do anything to avoid becoming a cat lady even if it means not even being able to look ourselves in the mirror because we loathe ourselves so much?
You know if she wanted to do this and live with the fact that she earned her ring by making sandwiches for it, enough for him to deem her worthy of his ever after, why take it public and humiliate herself? Look we’ve all done some humiliating shit in our past in the name of love. I know I have. Not for the guy I married because he’s not an asshole who would want me to but there were others. People who make us so crazy that we question our own reasoning.
Things were moving at a natural pace, but I wondered what it would take for him to propose. I’m in my mid-30s, and my parents have been happily married for more than 35 years. I have always valued the commitment and dedication it takes to get married and stay married. Call me old-fashioned, but I’d like to raise a family with someone who feels likewise.
Maybe I needed to show him I could cook to prove that I am wife material. If he wanted 300 sandwiches, I’d give him 300 sandwiches — and I’d blog about it.
Hey, Stephanie you shouldn’t have to earn his desire to marry you; either he loves you or he doesn’t. Love is unconditional. It doesn’t come with stipulations and regulations and rules other than to love, honor and respect one another. By stipulating that you make him 300 sandwiches to earn the right to be asked to maybe be his wife is not honoring you and certainly not respecting you. It’s humiliating you and you are the only one dumb enough to not see it.For the love of God, you should have stayed anonymous.
Ten sandwiches or so in, I did the math. Three sandwiches a week, times four weeks a month, times 12 months a year, meant I wouldn’t be done until I was deep into my 30s. How would I finish 300 sandwiches in time for us to get engaged, married and have babies before I exited my childbearing years?
My mother was the voice of reason. “Relationships are a marathon, not a sprint,” she said. “Take it one sandwich at a time.”
I made sandwiches for breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert. I made sandwiches to get myself out of the doghouse — like No. 67, a scrambled egg, smoked salmon and chive creation that combined some of Eric’s favorite things to make up for my being 45 minutes late for dinner the night before.
Even after covering movie premieres or concerts for Page Six, I found myself stumbling into the kitchen to make Eric a sandwich while I still had on my high heels and party dress.
Step back girl and see what is really going on or if that ring means that damn much to you, just stop telling the world about it. I know love makes us blind and stupid but maybe you should stop embarrassing yourself. I think he’s got humiliating you down, you don’t need to assist him. Honestly, the only way I can see the power ever equalizing in this relationship is if she plans to pull a man on him and the minute they get married…she never cooks him another sandwich as long as they both shall live.
What is your boyfriend said he’s marry you if you lost 20 pounds? If you dyed your hair blonde? If you had a three-way? If you learned to cook with your toes? If you’d let him experiment with golden showers? Aren’t all these asking you to change? And if he wants you to change, is it really you that he wants to marry?Where do you draw the line? What do you think? Did your spouse put stipulations on the relationship before it could go to the next level?
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2013/09/26