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Snap, Snap! The Ultimate Guide to The Addams Family: A Musical Comedy
Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
Snap snap
There are few things that bring my theater-loving family more joy than watching a beloved classic come to life on stage. When I heard that The Addams Family: A Musical Comedy was coming to the Morris Performing Arts Center in South Bend this March, I literally squealed with delight. If you could have seen me jumping up and down in my kitchen, phone in hand, you’d have thought I’d won the lottery—or at least found a way to make my children clean their rooms without threatening to sell their belongings on eBay.
A Family Affair (Both On and Off Stage)
Last Halloween, our family went all out with our Addams Family costumes. My husband transformed into the dashing Gomez, complete with pinstripe suit and mustache that made him look less like a romantic Latino lover and more like a questionable used car salesman. I channeled my inner Morticia with a floor-length black dress and dead-straight hair, which my teenagers helpfully pointed out wasn’t much of a stretch from my everyday “dead inside” mom aesthetic.
Disclosure: I was gifted tickets to attend the show. However, all opinions and love of theater are my own.
The kids? They embraced their roles as Wednesday and Pugsley with an enthusiasm that was both heartwarming and slightly concerning. Bella’s Wednesday braids were perfect, though her scowl was perhaps too authentic—the result of me confiscating her phone for the evening. Finding fake poison bottles as props was… interesting. Let’s just say our local craft store employees now have us on some kind of watch list.
We even thought of getting our dog, Stella, involved as Cousin It with a blonde wig but we had to accept she looks more like Scooby than Cousin It. Poor thing spent the evening walking away from us and giving us looks that clearly said, “I don’t get paid enough treats for this humiliation.”
So when the American Theatre Guild announced that the Broadway National Tour of The Addams Family would be part of the 24-25 BROADWAY IN SOUTH BEND Series, taking the stage March 14-16, 2025, it felt like fate. Or perhaps a haunting. Either way, we’re here for it.
Why This Show Speaks to Us (Besides My Natural Affinity for the Macabre)
I’ve always believed that the Addams Family represents something special in American culture. On the surface, they’re macabre and mysterious, but at their core, they’re a family that loves fiercely and accepts each other completely—which is more than I can say for my relatives who still bring up my “goth phase” at every Thanksgiving dinner.
As a mother who writes about the messy truth of family life, I find the Addams Family incredibly relatable. They embrace chaos while maintaining unwavering family loyalty. Meanwhile, I’m over here just trying to convince my children that wearing the same sweatshirt for three weeks straight is, in fact, not acceptable in polite society.
The musical’s storyline centers on Wednesday Addams—the ultimate princess of darkness—who has grown up and fallen in love with a “normal” young man from a respectable family. She confides in Gomez and begs him not to tell Morticia, forcing him to do something truly terrifying: keep a secret from his beloved wife. Everything changes on the fateful night they host a dinner for Wednesday’s boyfriend and his parents.
Can anyone else relate to family secrets threatening to unravel during important dinners? Raises hand enthusiastically while having flashbacks to the time my Gabs announced that I was in “heat” after catching a glimpse of me flushing a tampon.
More Than Just a Show (It’s Cheaper Than Family Therapy)
On the heels of “Wednesday”—the third most-watched show in Netflix history—this musical feels more relevant than ever. These characters created by Charles Addams have remained beloved for generations because they remind us that “normal” is relative, and the family that embraces their uniqueness together, stays together. Or as we say in our house, “The family that’s weird together, doesn’t have to explain themselves to the neighbors… as much.”
I can already imagine my daughters’ faces lighting up when they see Wednesday on stage, though she’ll pretend to be unimpressed because she’s 20 (as of Monday) and legally obligated to act like nothing her mother suggests is cool. Gabs will undoubtedly cackle at Pugsley’s antics while taking mental notes for future torment of her sister. And my husband? He’ll be squeezing my hand during Gomez and Morticia’s romantic moments, whispering, “Why don’t we dance like that anymore?” To which I’ll reply, “Because my back went out last month when I sneezed too hard, dear.”
These shared experiences are what build our family story—one awkward, slightly twisted moment at a time.
The Details You Need (Because I’m Helpful Like That)
Performance Schedule:
- Friday, March 14, 2025: 7:30 p.m. (Perfect for date night, assuming you can find a babysitter brave enough to watch your little monsters)
- Saturday, March 15, 2025: 2:00 & 7:30 p.m. (Matinee for those of us who can’t stay awake past 9 p.m. anymore)
- Sunday, March 16, 2025: 2:00 p.m. (Just in time to go home and panic about the upcoming work week)
Tickets are available at BroadwayInSouthBend.com, MorrisCenter.org, and Etix.com. If you’ve got a group of 10 or more (family reunion, anyone? Or just the number of personalities living inside my head after a decade of parenting), you can score group ticket savings by contacting Groups@ATGuild.org.
Important PSA: Only purchase tickets through these official sources to avoid inflated prices and ticket guarantee issues! Because the only thing scarier than Thing is paying double for tickets that turn out to be fake. Trust me, we’ve all been bamboozled.
Join Our Theater-Obsessed Family (We Promise Not to Judge Your Singing)
Whether you’ve been an Addams Family fan since the original cartoons (thanks mom and dad for letting me watch in syndication), fell in love with the 90s movies (Raul Julia and Anjelica Huston, forever), or discovered them through the Netflix series (which my kids insist is “actually good, Mom”), this musical promises to deliver something for everyone.
It’s the perfect show for families like mine who appreciate that sometimes the most beautiful love stories come with a touch of darkness, and the strongest families are those who celebrate their weirdness together. After all, in a world where everyone’s trying to appear perfect on social media, there’s something refreshingly honest about a family whose house looks like it’s perpetually ready for Halloween.
We’ll be there opening night, probably overdressed and definitely overexcited. Look for the family singing along a bit too loudly—that’ll be us. I’ll be the one with black lipstick slightly smeared on my teeth, whispering “please don’t embarrass me” to my husband while simultaneously taking 47 photos of our children looking annoyed.
Mysterious and spooky, altogether ooky… see you at the theater! Unless you’re normal. In which case, why are you even reading my blog?
2025/03/11
New Year + New Perspective + Gratitude + Positivity = Happiness
It’s January 2, 2019 and I am finally physically (and mentally) released from restrictions. New Year + New Perspective + gratitude = Happiness! This is what I’m living by these days. My word of year for 2019 is positivity and I want it sprinkled all over my world like confetti.
My priorities are myself, my family, good friends, my health and pursuing my passion in a way that allows me to stay open to all opportunities. I want to be the best me there is. I want to grow deeper in my faith and stiller in my soul. If you’re ready to invest into making changes and personal improvements to your life with the help of life coaching, visit www.hellomanpreet.com for free consultation.
“I refuse to waste another new year with an old mind. I will rejoice.”
This is my mantra. This year, as the end of 2018 approached, I wasn’t disgusted by 2018. I wasn’t waiting for 2019 to start anew. I had a peaceful feeling wash over me sometime between the time I had my hysterectomy and Christmas where I just started feeling better, more positive. I think I finally hit my rock bottom and just let it all go.
READ ALSO: Resolving to Incite a Revolution
It was weird because I’ve been feeling pretty negative since I broke my leg in 2015. If were being completely honest, I haven’t felt myself since my miscarriage in 2012. I’ve been surviving, making it just in time to put out each next fire. Trying to fake it until I make it but I never really felt like I was going to be myself again. I just kept thinking of that old adage that which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I took comfort that someday, I would be stronger.
But after what seemed like forever of feeling like I was hidden from the sunshine under my own personal cloud of despair, suddenly, I felt elated. I felt hopeful in the realest way that I have in years. I felt positive. Positive that my situation was not unsurmountable. That through determination and purposeful intentions, I.Can.Do.Anything. More importantly, I could be fully happy without remorse, pain or guilt.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t sitting around giving up. I kept fighting to come back to myself from all the things that were holding me back and pulling me down. I never gave up on myself because I’ve hit rock bottom before and I know that you can come back to a world of beauty and blessing and I know that my life is full of blessings; the Big Guy, my girls, my parents, my siblings, my friends, my health, my career and my opportunities. Things may not be where I want them to be but they could be much worse.
I needed new perspective to overcome the situation. Mentally, I knew that none of these situations were unsurmountable but spiritually, I felt deflated and weak. I knew that I needed to see things from another side to appreciate what I have. But how do you get a new perspective from the bottom of the same hole that you’ve been living in for the past 6 years. The hole that you’ve desperately been trying to pull yourself out of, so much so that your arms are too weak to any longer pull you up but you aren’t ready to give up? That is the question. I didn’t have an answer and then my salvation came from an unexpected place, as it always has for me.
In came in the form of a letter, from my priest reminding me that I needed to attend mass more regularly. It came in the form of a gynecologist who kept her sense of humor when I was desperate for answers. It came in the form of my parents showing up to take care of me when I had my surgery. It came in the form of a friend online who checks on me weekly to make sure that I’m ok and another who sent my family food when I was unable to cook. It came in the form of a husband who never complained when he had to pick up all the slack and always put my health above his sheer exhaustion.
READ ALSO: Best Tech to Help you Get Healthy in the New Year
It came in the form of my daughters making me laugh and talking to me about everything happening in their lives. It came in random hugs, kisses and smiles. It came from a friend online who inspired me with her beginning and her results. It came in the form of a mother-in-law who let me know she always had my back. It came in the form of our dog who sat by my side the whole time I recovered. It came in the form of fresh air and twinkling lights. It came in the form of late night talks with my sister in law, the smiles of my nieces and nephews and my family dancing in the kitchen for no reason at all. It came in the form of more love being bestowed upon me than I thought I deserved.
It came in the form of one editor telling me how important my words were and another giving me a job when I needed it most. It came in the form of a tattoo that helped me process my grief; to let go of the sadness and replace it with peace. It came in the form of driving the entire break to see family and finally on th last day of 2018, driving a couple hours to meet with a couple of my closest friends and talking…letting it all out. These small things, hundreds of what may seem like inconsequential things, filled my soul, gave me a life buoy when I was drowning and gave me the new perspective I needed to push through the misery and into the light.
I’m a work in progress. This is just the beginning. Or maybe it’s the middle because when I think of it, this shift in perspective started when I got my memorial tattoo in November 2017. I’m not sure what the future holds for me, this may all be some foray back into mania, though I hope not. For now, I am being purposeful with my intentions. I am choosing my path instead of running down the dark alley of someone else’s expectations.
Last month, I wrote a list of things that I want to accomplish personally and professionally this year. I’m working on putting my intentions and goals out into the universe, I’m taking action and I’m willfully remaining positive. I’m staying open to all opportunities and saying yes. I’m turning my struggles into fuel that feeds my soul. I am a survivor.
READ ALSO: Firework
Today, I was finally released from physical restrictions and I feel like I can breathe again. I’m moving. I am prioritizing myself. I am not allowing myself to be distracted by things that don’t better me. I am leaving behind people who are toxic to my soul and embracing those who empower and inspire me. Today, I start my journey to becoming more healthy, self aware and not letting fear stand in the way of my dreams.
I’ve been listening to this song “Rejoice” for inspiration and reflective introspection. Maybe it will inspire you to follow your bliss too because we are good enough. We deserve all the blessings and we can make all of our dreams come true.
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What inspires you? Are you embracing New Year + New Perspective + Gratitude + Positivity = Happiness ? If so how?
2019/01/02
American Girl Wellie Wishers Teach Little Girls Empathy
Have you heard of the Wellie Wishers? This summer has been full of hectic crazy fun; packed with sunshine and the great outdoors. We’ve traveled, seen the beach and watched movies outside under the stars. But what do you do when it rains, right in the middle of summer? We made lemonade out of those lemons. The girls invited a few of their friends over for a movie play date. I work with American Girl so they sent us the newest American Girl Movie Lea to the Rescue. The girls were more than happy to watch it at our house together.
I popped some popcorn, made some actual lemonade and ordered pizzas. Meanwhile, the girls and their favorite American Girl dolls “watched” Lea to the Rescue. I’m not going to lie, it was the perfect rainy day activity for a group of girls in the 5 to 13-year-old age range. To be honest, I am more than a little past a teenager and I thoroughly enjoyed it too.
Speaking of rainy days and little girls, have you heard of American Girl’s latest line of dolls? They are called Wellie Wishers and they spread the message to today’s little girls everywhere that we should all consider what it means to “stand in another person’s wellies.”
The Wellie Wishers, a line of five fun-loving characters, Willa, Kendall, Ashlyn, Emerson, and Camille are out to make the world a kinder and friendlier place.
It’s the golden rule in full effect. Treat others how you would like to be treated (or for you more modern day moms) to have a good friend you’ve got to be a good friend. Either way you slice it, the message is don’t judge others. Always consider what it might be like to stand in their wellies.
American Girl created Wellie Wishers to help younger girls, ages 5-7, discover the social and emotional skills they need to become empathetic, compassionate, and thoughtfully motivated individuals. Timeless life lessons on sharing, cooperation, respecting feelings, and making things right are passed along to girls through each Wellie Wishers character, who navigates the ins and outs of friendship through play, songs, and imagination.
The Wellie Wishers celebrate an amazing time in a little girl’s life when she’s learning about herself through the world around her. Through their stories, the Wellie Wishers help our daughters make good choices today defining the person she’ll become tomorrow.
The beautiful, whimsically illustrated early chapter books about the Wellie Wishers’ fun and fanciful outdoor adventures are written with humor and heart by American Girl author Valerie Tripp. The stories will delight girls and their mothers as they celebrate the promise and potential of young readers and gently model the life skills that help build strength of character and confidence.
The Wellie Wishers’ adventures and lessons further unfold in American Girl’s first-ever animated series, airing in fall 2016. Each 11-minute episode follows the fun-filled exploits of the five smart and lively six-year-olds, who have limitless imaginations and the same big wish: to be a good friend. When the Wellie Wishers step into their colorful rain boots, they are ready for anything in their aunt’s whimsical backyard garden. Young viewers are entertained through stories, humor, and catchy songs as the Wellie Wishers work, dream, and play together—feeding birds, making mud pies, creating art, and putting on shows—all while imparting valuable lessons in friendship.
To further engage girls and bring the characters to life, American Girl is debuting a free Wellie Wishers app, where players can explore the interactive garden world through three mini games—Carrot Care, Mud Pie Maker, and Garden Harmony. Little girls will delight in the sweet, silly, and unexpected surprises that get unlocked the more they play. The free app is available through play.americangirl.com.
Rounding out the play experience is a line of adorable 14½-inch dolls (retail $60) and garden-themed accessories, including a magical theater stage and a premium wooden playhouse with over 30 pieces. Young girls can even dress like their favorite character with a selection of dress-like-your-doll clothing, like enchanted garden PJs or a pair of peek-a-boo wellies.
My girls love their Wellie Wishers and thanks to the generosity of American Girl, we would like to give away a doll to one lucky reader. Enter below! Mandatory entries include subscribing to The TRUTH newsletter, following The TRUTH about Motherhood on Facebook and leaving a comment below!
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2016/08/09
How Motherhood Can Prepare You for a New Career Path
Being a mom is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. I know that’s not politically correct and some of my feminist friends might think I’m setting the cause back but that’s not how I see it. We live in a time where women can have the career of their dreams and then chose to stay home or work outside the home and nobody blinks so that’s progress. Are we getting it all? No, it’s a lot of work but I wouldn’t change a minute of any of it. Did you know that being a stay at home mom, motherhood, can prepare you for a new career after kids?
For me, motherhood has been such a rewarding, empowering and enriching experience. For those of us who choose this path, I think we’d all agree that motherhood is awesome. Maybe it’s not all rainbows and unicorns and there are frequently mid-day blowouts, tantrums and breakdowns (by moms and kids alike) but still, on most days, there is nothing else that I’d rather be doing.
Believe it or not, motherhood can prepare you for a new career path.
But like anything else, too much of anything can simply be too much and it’s okay to admit that mommy burnout is real. Sometimes, maybe after years of parenting, you need something beyond just motherhood because eventually, our kids need us less and we need to fill that time and space with other things or we’ll suffocate our children and feel a void where all of that motherhood energy used to be expended. If you look deep within yourself, you will see that motherhood can prepare you for a new career after kids grow up. You’ve learned a whole lot of amazing skills like time management, organization, multi-tasking and customer satisfaction for the most difficult customers.
If you’re really lucky you’ll find new skills and passions that maybe you didn’t even know you had before. That’s how it’s happened to me. Like many moms, I’ve created career windows where doors were shut. When you are following your bliss, you are happy and your kids see that.
READ ALSO: How to be a present mom and have a career
Pursuing outside dreams and goals is actually good for your health and the overall wellbeing of your family. Having a mom who is happy, healthy and living her best life will trickle down to our kids; it teaches them how to live their best life, too – unapologetically following their goals and dreams, becoming the person they want to be. It’s a great example for how to live their lives. You owe it to yourself to be happy and your family wants that for you. You’ve spent so many years tending to everyone else’s needs and wants, maybe it’s time to take care of you a little bit.
But what to do after being a stay-at-home mom?
After years of giving your all to your kids and putting yourself last, you might be in the dark as to how you begin pursuing a passion. Or maybe you’re just ready to enter back into the workforce and don’t know where to start; what choices are available. You’ve got this girl. You’re currently a genius multitasking, organizing, go-getter who keeps humans alive for a living. You’ve got this. Your time is now. Follow your bliss. You’re not too old until you’re dead so don’t give me that.
READ ALSO: When Happiness hits you like a train
Pursuing a brand new career, especially as an adult who has been home raising little people, can be a little daunting, but it’s also really exciting and incredibly fun. So many fields are open to you, and believe it or not, your skills as a parent have been training you for the discipline and creativity needed to pursue something new. Careers are out there in every field from healthcare to food, to business and more, all suited to your specific, special skills and interests. I’ve suggested a few things below to help get your creative ideas following.
This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately myself. I recently dipped my toe back into the outside of my home workforce and while it’s not my dream job, it’s reignited a fire in me to know exactly what my passion is and set me on a new path to pursue it.
I’m choosing a new career after kids.
You’re hearing it first here people, I’m putting it into the universe, I’m going back to school for my Masters in Digital Marketing and I’m more excited about it than I’ve been in a while. It’s a field I’m already in just with more in-depth knowledge, a few certifications and a degree with expertise. Now is the time for me and I can feel it in my gut that this is what I want.
Exciting Careers for moms going back to work
These are just a few options for exciting pursuits open to moms, for when you’re ready to re-enter the workforce and find a career or part-time gig that gives you excitement, joy and yes, makes you seriously good money. Having a great resume will improve the chances of you getting the job.
Become a Chef/Caterer/Food Vendor
Ok, so this one does involve a lot of work, but it’s a good kind of work. Fun, productive, delicious work. This is why a lot of women go into this field after their kids get a little older. In fact, the kids can help you with this venture. It’s a labor of love. Whether your dream is to be a pastry chef at a fancy bistro, to sell home-made donuts at sports events, or make custom-cakes and cookies for birthday parties, this is an attainable dream that will flex your brain, let you be creative, show off your unique talents and best of all: you can make a lot of money at it. There are plenty of women out there who, armed with only some mixing bowls and an Instagram feed, have revamped their entire career and started lucrative businesses selling sweet treats.
Become a Nurse
Again, a career in family medicine that involves a lot of study and hard work. But there are so many women who go back to nursing school later in life. With so many different types of nursing degrees to choose from, you can pick any field from ER Nursing to pediatric care (babies!). Many women talk about nursing school as one of the most fun, dedicated and amazing times in their life; times where they made lifelong friendships while pursuing a respected career. Nursing also pays really well and in some cases, you can enjoy a flexible schedule. I believe it’s a calling, like teaching, because it takes a special person who loves people.
Work in a theater
Granted, acting comes to mind when people hear theater, which is a great career choice. However, there is more to this field than acting; there are so many opportunities you can explore. For instance, you can make an excellent director with your new-found organising, and multi-tasking skills. You can learn more about directing from experts like Travis Preston, so feel free to consider this. Or, you can choose to be a choreographer, dancer, script writer if you have the skills.
Become a Pilot
This is one of the most exciting careers that I can think of. I love flying and more and more women are becoming pilots these days. With four different types of pilot licenses available, you can be a part-time pilot, a commercial pilot, or whatever you want to be. You’re a woman, you are fierce and you can do all the things. There’s nothing cooler than a woman conquering the skies! And whether you want to make a career of it or just a weekend hobby, there are courses of study available to you no matter where you are.
READ ALSO: How to Get Yourself a Life after Motherhood
These are just three of the many, many hundreds of career choices open to you, if you’re a mom looking to get back out in the world and start a new career venture. There will never be a job more rewarding than raising your kids, and we know what a good mom you are. Taking some time for you, to become your best self and realize those goals and dreams of your own will only make you an even better mama to your children. Let’s dust off those cobwebs and start following those dreams. Your spirit – and your kids – will thank you for it. I’m doing it. You can too!
If motherhood can prepare you for a new career, and nothing was off-limits, what would you be when your kids grew up?
2020/02/15
School Shooting in Nashville is Just Another Day in America

Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
I’ve been so sick this week. Down with an awful stomach virus. Projectile vomiting so much that I’ve been bedridden. But I’ve seen the news. Three 9-year-olds and 3 faculty members dead in Nashville, Tennessee. Did I ever tell you guys that I was briefly an elementary school teacher in Tennessee? I was. I gave it up to take care of my own girls. Right before the pandemic, I was back in the classroom again. I’ll never go back. You couldn’t pay me enough money to risk a school shooting in a country where guns outweigh children’s life.
Do you know how much teachers love their students, especially those little ones? People don’t become teachers because they don’t care. It’s a calling. Teaching is a job you do out of love. It’s hard and thankless but we are rewarded in 1000 tiny ways by those precious children and that’s why teachers do so much for so little. But now, they’re supposed to be expected to risk their own lives just to educate someone else’s child?
Just another day in America
I’m not even shocked anymore. I’m angry and disgusted at our country’s constant failure of our children, our teachers and parents. No mother or father should ever have to drop their children off at school, at their own risk which is exactly what we’re expected to do. No teacher should be expected to use her body as a shield from the gunfire. No child should have to know the protocol to survive an active shooter situation.
Every morning since my daughters started school, I drop them off at the front door of school and say a prayer that they are still alive when I pick them up. Every morning, I feel sick to my stomach. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard sirens and called the school to check on my kids or driven there just to be sure. I live in constant fear. I’ve lost a pregnancy and I don’t think I could survive losing another child.
I don’t know about you but I didn’t create, a house and push my precious girls out into this world through excruciating pain just so someone else could so callously disregard their lives. I mean FUCK YOU those are mine. I did the work. No one else has the right to destroy what I created. They exist. They matter. This is human life. Not fucking collateral damage. One life is too many but in the United States, we’re being sent the message by our politicians that our dead children are a small price to pay for the right to bear arms. Maybe we need new politicians who care about all of the “we the people” and not just the gun enthusiast.
Just Another Day in America
The thing that pisses me off the most is that politicians place a higher value on guns than on human life. Because guns are a more lucrative business. Guns make money. The NRA has money to burn and throw around Washington. Only our children’s lives are worth more than any money. They are priceless. The saddest part is that we are all becoming desensitized to it. We hear that there’s been a shooting and we get sad and then we move on to the next day and the next group of unsuspecting children who get slaughtered while learning their ABCs.
What about the excruciating pain of a mother and father’s broken heart? Have you ever had the misfortune of hearing or expelling your own primal scream into the world? There is a howling that comes only when you lose a child. It’s unmistakable and un-recreatable. It comes from deep within and it is the breaking of a human being. It sounds like nothing you’ve ever heard before. When that happens, both the child and the parent are destroyed. Parents and their children are invisibly tethered for life and when our children are ripped from this world, a part of us dies too.
Incredibly, there is more to be gained in gun sales and by appeasing gun aficionados for politicians to even care or consider any kind of common sense gun control. What is boils down to is that the politicians believe our children’s lives are expendable. Well, I believe I speak for all parents when I say, no child’s life is expendable.
How many children need to die to make them care? Whose child needs to die for them to care? Because from where I sit, it looks like money is more important than our children’s safety and lives.
Just Another Day in America
No wonder so many of our children are suffering from anxiety and depression. The law mandates that we send them into a fucking war zone every morning with no protection. A child should not have to practice active shooter drills. A 9-year-old shouldn’t have to fear for her life every morning when she goes to school. How can our children even breathe? They know they’re at risk. RISK? They are risking their lives to get an education.
How do we even make it make sense to our children when it doesn’t even make sense to us? What are we supposed to say when our child is looking at us to be their savior and we can’t protect them? How are we supposed to live with the guilt of sending them to the slaughter? We have to fight harder.
Just Another Day in America
How many mothers need to drop their sweet children off at school and never get to pick them up before we care enough to stop the government from putting guns before babies? When will the government fight as hard for our school-aged children as they do the unborn ones?
I’m pissed off and you should be too. If you want things to change, you have to be willing to fight for change. Wishing won’t work. You’re going to have to put your money where your mouth is. You have to fight like your child’s life depends on it, because it does. We have to be relentless so that our children are safe. Our politicians are failing our children, we don’t have that luxury.
Lift your voices to protect our children. School shootings are unacceptable. We need to draw a line in the sand for our children’s sake. Children being slaughtered can never be just another day in America. Every time it happens… it’s the worst day in America.
Imagine for a moment the unthinkable. Imagine that the child never comes home again, the smile you’ll never see again, and the tiny arms around your neck are those of your child. Be brave. Take a stand. Scream at the top of your lungs. Tell Congress to stop glorifying guns and ban assault weapons and high-capacity magazines now! You can start by signing this petition at MomsRising.Org
2023/03/30
Maggie Goes On A Diet
Maggie Goes on A Diet ~ Is a new book with a targeted reading level of ages 4-8 years old and coming out in October of this year by author Paul M.Kramer. It is complete with cartoon like pictures and will be readily accessible and easy to read by your preschool-elementary aged child.
Synopsis: This book is about a 14 year old girl who goes on a diet and is transformed from being extremely overweight and insecure to a normal sized girl who becomes the school soccer star. Through time, exercise and hard work, Maggie becomes more and more confident and develops a positive self image.
Maggie Goes on A Diet; Don’t do it!
I have not read the book, or seen any excerpts, nor will I. This book will not be allowed in my house. I am the mother of two little girls and a survivor of eating disorder and forever a fighter of body dysmorphic disorder. Never heard of it? Let me help you become educated by defining something that has defined me for most of my life.
According to the Mayo Clinic: Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a type of chronic mental illness in which you can’t stop thinking about a flaw with your appearance — a flaw that is either minor or imagined. But to you, your appearance seems so shameful that you don’t want to be seen by anyone. Body dysmorphic disorder has sometimes been called “imagined ugliness.”
When you have body dysmorphic disorder, you intensely obsess over your appearance and body image, often for many hours a day. You may seek out numerous cosmetic procedures to try to “fix” your perceived flaws, but never will be satisfied.
A leading Cause: Environment. Your environment, life experiences and culture may contribute to body dysmorphic disorder, especially if they involve negative experiences about your body or self-image.
This has consumed me since about the age of puberty and will probably be a battle that I fight every day for the rest of my life. I have been told that I basically can not trust anything I see in the mirror. Do you know how that feels? Can you imagine not being able to trust your own judgement? It may seem inconsequential or vain but when you don’t see the real you in the mirror, that becomes a problem. This goes way beyond being unhappy with gain of 10-15 pounds. This is never being satisfied with my appearance.When you never feel physically good enough, or sub par, it takes a toll on your life in almost every facet. It’s a little easier for me now because I know that the disorder exists within me. With therapy and education, I have been able to begin to not allow the disorder to define me . I know that I will probably never be satisfied with what I see in the mirror and that is not a reflection of some ineptitude on my part but a symptom of the disease, in that I can take some small comfort.
Maggie Goes On a Diet
This book cover alone disturbs me deeply. This may seem innocuous but the message it sends to a child will be profound. This is how my reflection has always been but the opposite. No matter how small I was, I only saw someone large and ugly in the mirror. Not that the two go hand in hand, they certainly do not but for me (in my disease) I always needed to be just a little bit better. A little bit taller. A little bit smaller. My hair a little bit longer. A little bit curlier. A little bit straighter. My lips a little bit fuller. My eyes a little bigger. My nose, oh the bump on my nose, was monumental..practically a mountain. Boobs perkier. Legs longer. Fingers longer.Do you get the picture? No matter what I may have looked like, it was NEVER enough. For me, this book fosters this behavior. It sets a standard that perfection in appearance equals perfection in all areas of your life. This is simply not true. It never has been . It is an impossible standard. The next step in the progression would be eating disorders. Obviously, if you think that having the perfect body equals having the perfect life you are going to do all tat is necessary to reach that goal.
I do not believe that children should ever be put on a diet per se. I understand restricted diets for medical reasons; diabetes, allergies, etc. but just because a child gains a small amount of weight, I don’t think they should be put on a “diet”. It is our responsibility, as parents, to insure that our children get good quality healthy food and live a active lifestyle. We are the examples. We are the caregivers. I have had my own issues with food that I have had to deal with.They were dealt with long before I had children but it has made me aware that it is my responsibility to make healthy choices in mind, body and soul for the sake of my children. When anyone, a child or adult hears the word diet it instantly has a negative connotation associated with it. I feel that using the word diet with a child is imprinting a flaw in their mind. If I had it my way, my girls will never worry about the scale. I feed them a balanced diet and keep them active with play and dance. I don’t want them to know or care what they weigh. I just want them to be satisfied with who they are and to know that they are beautiful and perfect, as is. This book undermines that lesson and teaches children that to be beautiful, popular and a star of the team , you must be aesthetically pleasing to others and beautiful. This book cover alone screams the message that to be happy with your life, you must be perfect in the mirror. Shouldn’t the message be that to be happy in your life, you must be beautiful on the inside and satisfied with your place in the world not the size of your dress?
Just Say No to Maggie Goes on A Diet
2011/08/29
Sandy Hook Always on My Mind
Saturday was the anniversary of the Sandy Hook Elementary massacre. I was backstage, watching from stage left as my daughters performed their final show. I wanted to be in as close proximity to my girls as possible. I half expected some deviant, somewhere to decide to commemorate the anniversary with his or her own massacre. This is who I have become since December 14, 2012. I am afraid and I can’t shake it. Sandy Hook changed my life. Saturday, my heart was heavy for the mothers and fathers of Sandy Hook. The air was so thick I could barely breathe.
In our world, shootings happen frequently, so much so that it is no longer shocking. A crazed gun man walks into a post office, a disgruntled employee walks into his place of business, a religious zealot walks into a church, a long gunman walks into a mall or a theater, a jilted lover walks into a house…this happens all over the place, all the time but Sandy Hook was different it hit many of us where we live. Adam Lanza made us all feel vulnerable in a place where we already walk around like an open wound to the world; our children. He stole the one place we felt comfortable and safe leaving our children away from us; school.
Every morning when I drop my girls off at school, I am afraid that it might be the last time that I ever see them. Every time I hear a siren, I call the school to make sure everything is all right. If the girls are in a bad mood in the morning and we argue, I always rectify it before dropping them at school. I always hug them goodbye and I always tell them that I love them because I am terrified that something might happen and it might be the last time that we see one another and I don’t want my last words to them to be mean ones. The events that transpired that cold Friday morning at Sandy Hook Elementary did that to me. I know life goes on but my trust in the world has been broken and I am not sure that it can ever be mended.
For the rest of my life, my heart will stop when I hear a siren if my children are not in my line of sight. For the rest of my life, I will watch my children until they are all the way in the building. For the rest of my life, I will remember that my children are the most precious gift that life has given me and I will not take them for granted. For the rest of my life, I will not trust the world to protect our children. That is what Adam Lanza and his shooting spree has done to our world.
Children are not disposable. Human beings are not replaceable. No one needs a gun. Gun violence needs to stop and we need to prevent something like Sandy Hook from ever happening again.No parent should ever have to wonder if this is the last time they will see their child alive at morning drop off. We should not have to live our lives in fear. If you believe that the right to bear arms is more important that the lives of 26 people than we probably can’t be friends. Please pray for peace for the mothers and fathers of the Sandy Hook victims.
How has your perspective on life changed since Sandy Hook?
2013/12/18
Love in a Marriage Isn’t Always What You Expect
Do you think love in a marriage can be as passionate as love before marriage? Like head over heels, “I would live forever just to be by you” love? “I love you so damn much that I want to be ghosts with you” love? The kind of love in a marriage that you never want to let go of?
The kind of love in a marriage that makes you brave.
I’m not usually a sappy person here, well, not too often anyway, but this Valentine’s Day something happened. I’ve been changing a lot of things in my life lately but one thing hasn’t changed. The Big Guy has always been my rock; my constant.
The Big Guy is what I affectionately call my husband here on this blog. If you’ve been a long-time reader, you know it’s because he is 6’5” not because I think he’s God, though many of you have asked me that before. He really is a big guy and we have big kids but with him, its not just his stature. He laughs big, he smiles big, he loves big, he’s just a big personality and anyone who has met him can attest to that.
Even living with all this bigness all the time, it truly is the little things that count with us and he gets that. He’s always gotten that and that’s one of the reasons I adore him so completely.
Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. I know many of you think it’s just a Hallmark holiday and in many ways, it is. I was never big on the holiday because, in previous relationships, it just felt like an inevitable trap to be let down. I’d get my hopes up and things would never measure up. Then I met my husband and ever since that first Valentine’s Day, he’s always made it more than special.
The kind of love in a marriage that makes you forget reason.
You see, we got engaged on January 23, 1998. Random weird time to get engaged right? Especially since we had only been dating for 4 months at the time. I was completely speechless when he asked me in the middle of a club. There was no ring, there was no drop to your knee It was him screaming over the music and me shocked. It felt impetuous. I wasn’t so sure if it was him or all the alcohol he had been drinking that was asking me to spend the rest of my life with him so it took me a couple weeks to give him an answer. Sounds terrible, right? Wrong.
When I called my sister to tell her what this crazy guy at university has just done, she said, “Oh yeah. Weird, I thought he was waiting until Valentine’s day. He told us at Thanksgiving that he was going to ask.” Wait! What? November????
Apparently, the proposal was not impetuous, only the delivery. He had been planning for months, though he still didn’t have a ring. He told them he knew from the moment we met that I was his soulmate. To be honest, after being burned by the previous few guys I had dated, I was kind of jaded on the whole “soulmate” thing. Not, him. Not my Big Guy.
Apparently, he was a little nervous and it just popped out of his mouth on the dance floor, a couple weeks early. That’s why there was no ring. Maybe I was accidentally doing some sort of fertility/marry me dance that I didn’t even realize I was doing and my female wiles overtook him. All I know is the sweetest man I had ever met (and barely knew) asked me to marry him. My answer? I love you and then I casually walked away as if he’s just asked me if I wanted a beer.
We both pretended it didn’t happen. Then a week or so later while sitting across the computer lab he emailed me a note that read, “so are you ever going to answer me?”
Yikes, he hadn’t been that drunk. I told him I didn’t think he was serious and I needed to think about it because it was a serious question. It wasn’t like, do you want fries with your burger. It was the biggest question of my life.
Do you love me enough to spend the rest of your life with me?
Finally, I answered. It was really simple, I asked myself, can you live the rest of your life without this man in it? My answer was quick and all consuming, no. After knowing him, I couldn’t see my life playing out with anyone else. It depressed me to think of not seeing him every day or hearing that big crazy laugh or seeing that big beautiful smile so I said, “Hell, yes!”
I got an engagement ring for Valentine’s Day that year. That’s why Valentine’s Day is special to me. Not because of the holiday per se but because it was supposed to be the day the Big Guy asked me to be his wife but he was just so damn eager that he couldn’t wait. And he actually purchased it from a design your own custom engagement rings shop. Awwww, right?
He’s always done Valentine’s Day big. He pulls out all the stops. But this year I didn’t want a big elaborate gift. I wanted something more personal. I wanted him. I wanted his love in a tangible form. Sometimes love in a marriage becomes quieter and more of a hum than a roar. I wanted a roar.
I wanted a playlist (modern day mixtape), a hand-written note from him (which ended up being the sweetest Facebook status ever) and I didn’t want to cook dinner. Other than that, I just wanted to be together. That’s exactly what I got.
Needless to say, I spent most of yesterday crying happy tears because he kept sucker punching me with all the feels. It was glorious. Proof that love in a marriage can sweep you off your feet just as much as any new, shiny relationship.
The kind of love in a marriage that makes you want to have babies just so there are more people like him in the world.
Every word was like salve to my soul. He is not a big talker. He’s more of a do-er. He shows me he loves me in his actions every single day. He’s the kind of guy who makes the scrambled eggs on school mornings so you can have a break. He’s the kind of guy who gives you the last bite of his sandwich because you’re still hungry, even if so is he. But I’m a writer and sometimes I want words and wow, his words were everything.
The playlist spoke to me in another way. It spoke to my heart with every lyric. Each song was more perfect than the last. It said everything I needed to hear.
You know how when you are young and dating you’re always wondering, just a little bit, where you stand in the relationship? How he really feels? Well, the Big Guy laid it all on the table and damn.
The kind of love that leaves you speechless.
I don’t know how you spent Valentine’s Day but I hope it was amazing. I don’t mean fireworks, symphonies and diamonds (those things are nice) but amazing in that at the end of the day, you knew you were loved by someone for just being you. Unconditional, all-accepting love is something I never knew in my life until the Big Guy and nothing compares. No gift can compare 100% reciprocated, unconditional and equal love.
I don’t know if there are any words that can convey to him how much his words meant to me but I hope he knows that I couldn’t imagine spending my life loving anyone else. I was scared when he asked me to marry him because it was so soon in our relationship but every day, I thank God the universe that he chose me.
What is the one thing your partner did to show you that love in marriage could be just as passionate as when you were single?
2017/02/15
For Richer and for Poorer
For Richer and for Poorer
For Richer and for Poorer ~ Til Death do us part. Marriage is a beautiful thing indeed. I spent the past weekend at the wedding of my brother-in-law and my gorgeous new sister-in-law. It was one of the most lovely weddings that I’ve ever had the joy of witnessing. I sat there listening to the vows and I got a little choked up, remembering my own. I was transported back to a day, much like this one, when the Big Guy and I stood at the alter in front of everyone we knew and declared our love for one another. That moment..that is the moment it becomes real. That is the moment that your life is joined to his and two become one. What’s his is yours and what’s yours is his and all of it is ours.
It was a beautiful weekend soaked in love and drenched in emotion. I think everyone who was there could genuinely feel the love between those two. It was in fact palpable. It filled the space of the venue and it was contagious. We all were basking in the glow of the love light that those two were emitting. I honestly wish them the best of everything that life has to offer. They deserve it and so much more. I hate the reality hangover of marriage after the night of fantasy at the wedding. It’s a bitter pill to swallow. I hope they can ease into it, float to it from above and descend on reality like a butterfly onto your shoulder…slowly, gracefully and with ease.
The Big Guy and I have long since crashed into marriage reality. We hit it like a parachutist hitting the ocean…like hitting cement and expecting a soft place to land. I found this to be the truest fact about my marriage, life is beautiful and awesome together. Having someone to love so completely and unconditionally is a gift that is unexplainable. It is having a soft place to land, even if it is on your spouse.The key to marriage is to remember what is important. The most important thing, for us, is that unconditional, unwavering, unfailing love and devotion to one another in good times and bad,
for Richer and for Poorer!
The problem is, the only thing that we have discovered that can cause a crack in the foundation of an otherwise strong marriage (faster than anything else), is the poorer part. Not because anybody’s a gold digger, or somebody has a crazed need to wear only top brands, drink top shelf and live topside all the time. No, I’m talking about those times when you are starting out and you have no money. You are finishing up college and you are broke. You have to unexpectedly move because of a job change. You unexpectedly lose a job because of a down economy. You have children and had no idea what those little people cost. Cars tear up. People die. Roofs leak. Tuition needs to be paid. Kids want extra-curriculars. Sometimes you just really want that extra slice of life; those nice jeans, a fancy bra, a vacation that isn’t to a relatives house. Life happens.
Finances cause arguments in couples. It’ a fact. If you don’t already know this, then you are not in a committed (joined financially) relationship. There is an easing into it that must take place. But if you can always remember that if you have the love, you are already richer than most in life. You will be better than fine. You will thrive.
Life together is amazing, much better than life apart could ever be. This I know to be true. So who cares about money? Sure, it buys food and clothes and shelter, but where there is love..real love, the kind that can literally keep you warm at night, keep your heart full and your mind still… everything else is secondary. For richer in love and poorer in funds is better than the alternative. But if you want to ensure constant bliss, put a little rainy day fund away…just in case of an unexpected leaky roof.
To Kate and Jeff, God Bless you both and may your roof never leak. We love yous…for richer and for poorer ! XO
For Richer and for Poorer
2011/10/04
The Last Day of another Decade of Life
Today is the last day of another decade of life for me. Of course, it would fall on a Monday on the heaviest day of shark week. This does not surprise me. I’m not sure what tomorrow will bring, as none of us are, but if turning 30 taught me anything, expect the unexpected.
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2012/09/25