The TRUTH About Motherhood

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Tips to Live Longer that I Learned from Almost Dying
Ever think you might want to live longer than the national average life expectancy? It’s 79 years old, by the way. That doesn’t work for me. I’m aiming for 103. Life goals people. I want to live longer, bolder and fiercer. I want every moment to be packed full of living.
There are very few things that can get me to change my entire life. My children are the reason I want to live longer but other than that, I’m a creature of habit and not all of those habits are good ones. I mean, I’m not smoking crack or anything but I’ve been known to say (on more than one occasion) that I’d rather work out for 3 hours than give up my carbs and I meant it, every single time.
The thing is sometimes those things are taken out of your hands and your only option is to give up the proverbial carbs, or in my case, the literal carbs. That’s what happened to me. Can you say morbidly obese, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetic and anemic? Yeah, that will make you change your, “I’d rather workout for 3 hours than give up my carbs” mantra really quick. I thought I was special.
It reminded me that time is fleeting and I want to live longer… a lot longer.
Well, not really special but I thought, it can wait. Like you, I’ve always been the kind of mom who puts my kids first sometimes to my own detriment. It’s just I want them to fondly remember me as the best.mom.ever.
I don’t pretend that we are friends. They hate my guts sometimes because I am “so mean” because I make them do things like eat vegetables and get their homework done. There will be plenty of time for bonding like friends when they are grown. Right now, my mission is to love them, keep them safe and raise good human beings so sometimes I have to be unpopular. Eye rolls be damned. Besides, I know they love me because they hug me while they are rolling their eyes.
Anyways, back to me, because I am embracing this new “selfish mom” era of motherhood. I had an incident recently, that I truly thought was a heart attack. Went to the doctor with 187/107 blood pressure. Was literally freaking out. Suddenly, no carbs in exchange for my not-quite midlife sounded pretty damn good. I was beyond bargaining and was begging the universe to let me have another chance.
Are you there God, it’s me Deborah and I’m going to need to live longer!
Well, after lots of tests, I found out that I did not have a heart attack. Thank Goodness. But everything else I’d feared was right there in my chart confirming my suspicions, I had been ignoring my own health for way too long.
Eating cold food on the run or late at night after everyone else is taken care of is not good for you. Never taking the time to work out to lose the baby weight (for 11 years) because you are too busy rushing kids to their sports, definitely not good for you. Never looking at labels because you know what’s good for you, surprisingly not good for you. Eating out…so terrible for you. But I live in the real world and I want to keep doing so. So, I’m changing all of my bad habits with the hope of being able to live longer.
Here’s how I am making little changes that will help me live longer and be healthier.
Shaking my bootie
I’ve started at the bare bones. I’m moving. No, not across the country to a weight loss commune. I’m moving my body, morbidly obese as it may be. I, like you, don’t have a lot of extra time in my day so I am designating 30-45 minutes a day where I dance all over my house with the music blaring. I know I dance like Sam Rockwell but I don’t care I am moving. It makes me happy and it feels good.
A couple other things, I’ve gotten myself a Lotus desk stand so that I will no longer be sitting all day. In fact, I’ll probably be dancing at my desk. I’m probably dancing right now. The Lotus™ Sit-Stand Workstation features Smooth Lift Technology™ to keep your workstation stable and make changing positions from sitting to standing effortless. Lotus is an easy to use, adjustable and worry free setup engineered with the durability to transition working positions throughout the day. Numerous studies have confirmed that sitting for prolonged periods of time is harmful to your health.
Another thing, I’m walking. Why sit or stand when you can walk. Park further away, take the stairs, just do it.
Writing stuff down
Also, like I told my mother (who was not amused at all) thanks to my past history with eating disorders, I am a dynamite list maker and a pretty damn restrictor. I’ve channeled that into something good, I am logging all of my food into my phone and then I am keeping an actual list of all the calories, carbs, saturated fat, cholesterol, sodium and fiber that I am getting. Sounds daunting right? You know what’s even more daunting, being dead. Missing my girls grow up, so lists it is!
Making better choices
I am making informed decisions about what I put into my body. I have my guidelines and I am following them. I do believe everything in moderation so if I can fit what I am craving within the parameters of what I am allowed to have on that day, then I have it. I’m eating cleaner with lots more fresh fruits and veggies, no red meat, lots of lean meat and being very aware of the dairy I put into my body and only eating whole grains. Yes, it is an adjustment. My family is ready to murder me in my sleep for all the sneaky veggies that I’ve been feeding them. My daughter was not amused when she found out that her popcorn chicken was actually baked cauliflower with honey garlic sauce. She thought it was amazing until her sister ratted me out.
Letting it Go
Last but not least, I am letting stuff go. I am a long-time, Type-A perfectionist. I have doctor verified control issues but I am like a dog with a bone when it comes to issues that bother me. I can’t let anything go. I’m a fighter but with that comes stress and worry, which are two pointless emotions. They serve no purpose other than to make your situation worse so I’m stepping back, counting to 10 and recognizing my limits. If kids don’t get their homework done, I can’t stay up until 3 a.m. finishing. If the house can’t be perfect, so be it. I can’t make everyone happy. If you are someone who stresses me out, I’m probably not going to be answering the phone or interacting anytime soon.
I want to surround myself with positivity. That’s it. I want to live and I want to be healthy so I have to make it happen. I have to be selfish so that I can be around to be a good wife and mother. My dreams will never come true if I’m dead so I am embracing my new lifestyle.
It’s only been 11 days but I’ve lost 11 pounds and I feel better than I have in ages. This change is not only good for my mind and body, it’s good for my soul. I can see things more clearly when my mind is still and I can focus. So this is me becoming the best version of myself.
Since beginning this journey, I have found a lot of great family-friendly healthy recipes and discovered new and exciting ways to be active at home, with your family or by yourself and I will be sharing them all here along the way. It’s not as hard as I thought, with the right motivation.
What are you doing to live longer so that you can see your little ones grow up and you can grow old with your special someone?
2017/02/14
Back to School Breaking My Heart Since 2009
Back to school was not Xanax inducing here. Not this year anyways. Today was the first day of school for my girls. It feels much too early in the summer. It’s the first summer that I wasn’t either ecstatic or sobbing to be left alone. This morning was a peaceful, easy morning.
The girls are at the age where they can do things on their own. They were up and ready before me. They were excited. I was thrilled. Morning drop off went off without a hitch. Completely different from last year’s back to school m ental breakdowns.
I walked them in, dropped off supplies and introduced myself to their teachers and left with a kiss goodbye and a hug of appreciation instead of desperation. It was bitter sweet.On one hand, my oldest “baby” is in 6th grade. That’s middle school? How did this happen? I swear I just dropped her off in the kindergarten hallway of death.
I returned home with hot coffee in hand and sat in peaceful quietness in a clean house. Then it happened. I missed my children. As much as we’ve been inseparable this summer, I didn’t think it was even possible.
Back to school is getting easier for them and harder for me.
I missed my tween sleepily walking into the room midmorning only to collapse by my side and snuggle into me as she did all summer. I missed my little one sauntering in with her bedhead and sidling up on the other side of me, kissing me good morning and laying with her feet under my hip as she read a book or watched a show on her iPod. I missed it all. I even missed the tiny voices constantly asking to go to the pool. I just need a few more days; a few more years. 18 years can’t hold all of this love.
Mostly, I missed the fact that those moments are gone for another summer and every summer is one summer closer to no more summers under the same roof. That rips my heart out. I don’t know how to not hate that. I want to consume and digest every moment in tiny bits so that it doesn’t overwhelm me but motherhood is all consuming and, for me, completely overwhelming in the best possible ways.
At pick up the car was filled with excited voices telling me how excited they were about the upcoming school year. They were thrilled to connect with old friends and excitedly told me of new ones. Both proclaiming that this is going to be the best school year ever. Both thrilled with their assigned teachers. These moments make my heart happy but I feel the pull away like the slow separation of a Band-Aid from a forgotten wound. It aches beneath the surface like a fresh bruise to my heart.
Our schedule is hectic and crazy and heads into full force next Monday so I plan to wring every single ounce of freedom and togetherness out of our last weekend before the obligatory chaos takes over. I have to believe every second counts and every day is a chance for a new beginning. That has to get me through the letting go.
As we head into this new year of school, I am full of pride. My babies are becoming such phenomenal young ladies. This only makes me want to cleave to them tighter but I loosen my grip because they are not mine at all. They are their own. I am just the blessed woman who got to bring them into the world and gets to spend a little time showing them the way to live in this crazy world. I just hope that I’m doing it right.
How do you deal with the quiet moments of letting go that come with back to school?
2016/08/10
How to Protect Baby Skin this Spring
Disclosure: This is part of a sponsored collaboration with DiMe Media and Dreft about how to protect baby this spring. All opinions are 100% mine.
This has been one of the craziest years of my life, everything’s been out of whack including the weather. Spring is finally here and as the weather is getting warmer, my family has been spending a lot more time outdoors. We live in the Midwest and it’s been cold and grey for far too long this winter so at the first sight of sunshine, we’re outside trying to get as much fresh air as our lungs can possibly hold. We’ve all got a perpetual case of cabin fever and the only cure is the great outdoors; riding bikes, hiking, roller skating, reading in the teepee in the back yard, jumping on the trampoline, zip-lining, slack lining; you name it these girls are outdoors doing it. To better take care of your child skin, you can buy products lie this moisturizer at here, https://www.barbieinablender.org/best-korean-moisturizer/.
While all this warm sunshine on our faces is magnificent and the blossoming flowers and trees make the scenery that much more magical, the allergens in the air and rising temperatures can trigger some adverse reactions in many of us, especially in the little people. There’s nothing worse than to feel completely terrible when it’s so beautiful outside. It steals some of the joy of the occasion. That’s why whenever I get a chance to talk to a dermatology expert, I always ask for skin care tips for sensitive skin.
Unfortunately, both of my daughters have had sensitive skin since birth and as they’ve grown older have developed allergies. From before I even brought them home from the hospital, my first official act as a mom-to-be was to wash all of their tiny new clothes and linens in Dreft because it’s hypoallergenic and gentle on baby’s skin plus, it’s was the first recommendation I got on how to protect baby skin when interviewing pediatricians. Obviously, that made it bible in my book. For years, Dreft has been the only thing I’ve washed my children’s laundry with.
Laundry is probably my least favorite chore of motherhood. Honestly, with all the minutia of separating colors, washing, forgetting to put into the dryer and then throwing in a pile in the big chair in the living room, though it still is very much all of that, I find it to be quite frustrating and never ending. But in a weird way, it is also a way that I get to relish each milestone and amazing moment of my daughters’ childhood.
It’s one of those things where you might not appreciate it so much while you’re up to your eyeballs in unfolded laundry and crying babies but one day, in the not too far future, you will open up a storage tub of your “baby’s” clothes and the smell of the Dreft and nostalgia will come over you like a whisper from the past and a giant hug and almost knock you over with the realization that those babies are somewhere inside those 4 and 5-foot tall, walking, talking, amazing people that live with you currently.
As they grew older, I thought my girls might outgrow some of their sensitivities, as I did, but that day has not come, and may never come so I still wash their clothes with Dreft. It’s what works for us, so why should I change it? Obviously, I still love that new baby smell plus, bonus, it’s safe and hypoallergenic for my girls and allows them to play outside without worrying about their clothes being one more irritant. They are kids, their only job is to play and enjoy childhood; mine is to protect them and keep them safe. Their only limitations on a sunshiny day should be their imagination, not their skin sensitivities.
Dreft has partnered with Dr. Dyan Hes, mom and medical director of Gramercy Pediatrics, and here are her tips for how to protect baby this spring when allergens in the air and rising temps can trigger skin irritations for little ones.
Shade the sun: When heading outside, don’t forget to practice appropriate baby skin safety by dressing your baby in protective clothing, a hat with a brim and sunglasses. If your baby is 6 months or older, liberally use sunscreen and if they under 6 months, keep them out of direct sunlight.
Make bath-time beneficial: Over exposure to water can rob skin of natural moisture. Scaling back on tub time will help avoid itching — about 10 minutes in warm water with a mild cleanser is plenty of time for water play and a quick scrub. Gently pat skin dry and end with an after-bath moisturizer to seal in moisture and protect baby’s soft skin.
Load up on liquids: Staying hydrated is especially important as children get more active outdoor time and sun exposure. To ensure that children get enough to drink throughout the day; infants should nurse or take a bottle often; older kids should tote a sippy cup or reusable water bottle.
Choose the right fabrics and care for them properly: We find that natural breathable fabrics like cotton that are loose fitting are the best. It’s also important to seek out gentle and hypoallergenic cleansers like Dreft to care for the items that will touch baby’s sensitive skin.
Protect Problem Skin: Heat is a common trigger for eczema flare ups as the weather warms up, the sun is strongest between the hours of 10 a.m. – 4 p.m. so try to shield baby from direct sun exposure during those times. There are also apps available that can inform you of the hottest part of the day – which can be helpful for parents as they plan any outings with their little ones.
Join us for a Dreft Twitter Party and a chance to win fabulous prizes on Thursday, May 12 th from 9-10pm ET! To RSVP, visit www.dimemedia.net and you can win something here too!
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Dreft is an important tool in my mom arsenal of how to protect baby skin, what’s yours?
2016/05/10
Momojis and the Secret Lives of Parents
Disclaimer: This is part of a sponsored collaboration with DiMe Media and Luvs but all opinions about Momojis are 100% mine.
We all know that a picture is worth a thousand words and, as parents, we know that we never have enough free time on our hands and little ears hear everything we say, especially those things that we don’t want them to hear and repeat.
Sometimes, as a mom, you need to vent to your partner or a friend about the craziness that is motherhood but words are not an option. A diaper blowout (code brown as we affectionately refer to it in our home) or a toddler’s public meltdown (as we’ve referred to in a Seinfeldian way, “these pretzels are making me thirsty.” Translation: These babies are making me crazy) are not exactly things you want to say out loud in public. There has to be a way to maintain a smidgen of dignity in parenthood, right?
Enter Momojis, emojis just for Parents.
Luckily, when it comes to parenting, LUVS gets it. They’ve created the first ever custom emoji keyboard created specifically for moms and dads, the Luvs Momoji Keyboard. Inspired by experienced parents and their affinity for emoji use, Momojis give parents more ways to easily express all the emotions that come with real-life parenting with no danger of little ears overhearing. It’s like parental shorthand for the parent on the go.
We parents keep our mobile devices within arm’s reach and text with people more than we actually talk to them. Who has time to talk when you’re raising toddlers? I never knew that was even an option. But my iPhone has practically become an appendage over the years. I use it to Google symptoms, call the pediatrician, play music to entertain the kids in random dance parties and find recipes to smuggle broccoli disguised as brownies into my girls’ lunch boxes so texting emojis is just easier.
Sometimes the tales of parenthood are so outlandish, it leaves the person on the other end thinking maybe you’ve been hitting the mommy juice a little early in the day but, truly, parenthood is the stuff urban legends are made up of. I mean if you would have told me 15 years ago one day I’d be texting the Big Guy to tell him our 18-month-old made an entire box of feminine hygiene products disappear into thin air or that my 3-year-old almost drove me insane by asking me the same question over and over for 3 hours straight after keeping me up the entire night before, I wouldn’t have believed it either.
The Luvs Momoji Keyboard app is also the first to offer access to the latest in emoji technology – the Promoji – which helps busy moms hunt for diaper deals on the go. Hey, who can’t use a deal on diapers?
I learned the hard way that Luvs nighttime were the only diapers we could use on our girls at bedtime that kept them dry. With new larger stretch tabs for easy fastening, and the same ultra-leakage protection and money-back guarantee, Luvs with NightLock™ provides the high-quality features babies and parents need for less cost then the premium brands.
Through the first-ever use of Promojis (promotional emojis), busy moms will be able to hunt for diaper deals and coupons from Luvs on the go. Promojis are the latest in emoji technology and allow users to quickly and easily find great deals and promotions. Luvs is the first brand to share coupons, deals and special offers with consumers in a whole new way.
For more information and to download the Luvs Momoji Keyboard, please visit the app store. For more information on Luvs Diapers, visit www.luvsdiapers.com or the brand’s social media channels on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/luvsdiapers),
Twitter (https://www.twitter. com/luvs) and
YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/luvsdiapers).
In celebration of Luvs new Momojis, I will be giving away Luvs diapers and $100 Amex Gift Card to one lucky reader.
The giveaway is open to readers over the age of 18 that live in the contiguous U.S. No Puerto Rico. The giveaway will end December 24, 2015 t 11:59 p.m. EST.
Mandatory entry into the giveaway:
Leave a comment on this post telling me the craziest thing you’ve ever had to text your partner about your child and wished you’d had momojis.
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2015/12/11
The Soundtrack of My Life ; Audio Fest is Happening at Best Buy!
Ever wonder what the soundtrack of your life would sound like played out loud in stereo?
Recently, I had the opportunity to work with Best Buy and review a JBL Flip Portable Stereo Speaker that works with most bluetooth-enabled devices. This JBL streams music wirelessly from your phone/tablet/laptop, its portable and has a speaker-phone, built-in microphone and call-answer button that lets you easily take phone calls. It is about the size of a Coke can but packs the speaker punch of what my full size boom box used to; all the sound with none of the bulkiness.
I was born in the 70’s to parents who defined who they were by the music they listened to. My earliest memories are of my mom singing the Mama’s and Papa’s to me as a very young toddler. Fond memories of my dad strumming his guitar and singing Johnny Cash are part of the soundtrack of my life. Music has always been an integral part of who I am.
My formative years happened in the 80’s. I remember from the time I was old enough to earn an allowance, every single cent of it went towards buying cassette tapes, compact discs and concert tickets. I remember begging my parents for extra chores or to let me babysit so that I could earn some extra money. Every penny went towards music; buying blank cassettes or the biggest boom box that I could find.
Music was an obsession. It was my comfort and refuge as a teen. If I was at the beach with friends, at the park with family or even taking a bath, my boom box was with me playing the soundtrack of my life. No matter what was going on in my life, I needed music to be playing in the background. Music was and is something I need in my life, at all times.
When I was in high school, music was my escape. In college, it defined me. There was a perfect song for everything I was feeling and experiencing. First loves, first heartbreaks, first taste of freedom, facing challenges, meeting the man I was going to marry and growing into the woman I would become. There was a song to fit each one. A song that , to this day, transports me back to that moment in time.
In those early days of marriage and motherhood, music was my constant companion. It lulled me to sleep when my husband traveled for work. I sang it to my pregnant belly while swaying and decorating the nursery. There has been a playlist for every major event in out life. I played music while we played and grew from a couple into a family.
Music plays and invokes feelings and memories. Songs are for my ears what photos are for my eyes, the keeper of our memories. Now, I share music with my girls. I have shared that love. We sing songs together in the car. We dedicate songs to one another. Music says the things our heart wants to say.
I want music playing with me at all times. A boom box doesn’t really seem like the best option in today’s world of technological advancement in which everything has gotten smaller and more portable. That’s one of the reasons that my JBL Flip Portable Stereo Speaker makes so much sense. It is compact and easily to take anywhere I go. Now, I can have music playing in the background at all times, just like I’ve always wanted it to be. I’ve had it for less than a week and it’s already been used to lull kids to sleep, keep me dancing while I cooked dinner, accompany me while I sung in the shower and was the official Frozen Soundtrack player at my daughter’s birthday party. I am in love with it. Honestly and truly in love with it.
Beginning on March 2nd through April 4, 2014, Best Buy will be hosting March Audio Fest. It will feature one month of fabulous deals on every audio product your heart and ears could ever desire.
We’ve made a lot of our big audio purchases at Best Buy because I like being able to test and try out the products before I buy them. I like to know how loud my speakers are going to sound, how true to life my surround sound is going to feel and just how much noise can my headphones reduce? Who wouldn’t want to try before they buy? It’s being a smart consumer.
This week’s deals are as follows:
2x points on Sonos Home Theater
All AVRs on Sale
All iPod touch on sale
Save $80 on Samsung Blu-ray/Soundbar Bundle
Disclaimer: The reviewer has been compensated in the form of a Best Buy Gift Card and/or received the product/service at a reduced price or for free.
If you making the playlist for the soundtrack of your life, what would you include on the list?

Photo
2014/03/09
Shutterfly Christmas Cards and Giveaway
Disclosure: This is part of a sponsored collaboration with DiMeMedia and Shutterfly. However, all opinions expressed are my own.
The holidays feel as if they came a little quicker this year. It definitely snuck up on me. It’s been a crazy year and with spending this autumn out of commission, it feels like I’ve missed an entire season of my life. In many ways, I guess I have. I hate missing these moments, especially the ones that involve my daughters.
Luckily, I am on the mend and feeling much more like myself these days. Thanks to television and a few over ambitious neighbors I am full-steam ahead in holiday mode. A week from today is Thanksgiving, which marks the official beginning of Christmas. Coincidently, this also is the same day that I become hopelessly behind.
For me, Christmas cards are very important because it is the one time of the year that I know I will reach out to family and friends and they will do the same. I have friends and family that I never get to see in person because of the distance between us but without fail we exchange those cards with photos of our families. Without fail, we think of one another at least for a little while once a year. It is such a small thing but it means the world to me and I look forward to seeing those photos of our friends and their families far and wide each year. It makes us feel so much closer in this great big world.
Life is a celebration, and every moment spent with family and friends is a moment worth capturing. From baptisms and quinceañeras, to Sunday gatherings and Christmas eve, “Mi Vida Shutterfly” ( Shutterfly’s new Spanish-language design offerings) helps you cherish every moment and share them with the people you love who speak Spanish.
Every year, I have this convoluted fantasy of getting our Christmas card design chosen, appropriate photos available, ordered and mailed before actual Christmas Eve. Unfortunately, since giving birth and living with actual children, I haven’t had the time that I’d like to capture those perfect pictures and get them to our loved ones in a timely fashion. Well, at least not since they’ve been able to talk and walk and do anything more than sleep. Motherhood is a full-time job that requires all of your attention and brain cells.
By the time I have actual “free time” (you know the 20 minutes after they fall asleep and before they wake back up trying to get into my bed) I’m simply too exhausted to remember that I’m supposed to be designing, ordering, addressing and mailing Christmas cards. But this year, I tried something different.
I’ve been stuck on the couch due to my broken leg but my days are packed with deadlines. I knew I wanted to order my cards and have them ready to mail out the day after Thanksgiving so I gave myself 30 minutes one day, jumped on Shutterfly used the uninterrupted time to design our Christmas cards.
It was that simple. I chose a photo of the girls in their cute matching outfits and then I picked a photo of the whole family together this fall at my sister’s wedding (ironically it was taken about 30 minutes before I fell and broke my leg), added a couple sentimental statements and placed my order which means, for the first time in years, I will actually be mailing beautiful, personalized Christmas cards on the day after Thanksgiving instead of hand delivering them to my parents and in laws on Christmas eve like some kind of half-hearted afterthought.
They are absolutely beautiful. I love them and can’t wait to share them with family and friends.
Shutterfly offers an easy, creative and convenient way to share family milestones. Now, its even easier to share these with your abuelita, mother, neighbor, tía and other loved ones with Shutterfly’s new Spanish applications (complete with ñ’s and accents). They’ve also added Spanish language customization and Spanish-language customer service.
Take advantage of exclusive offers and promotions visit Shutterfly.com/mivida
Also, I will be randomly choosing one reader from the comments below to win a $50 Shutterfly Gift Card.
Giveaway ends Dec 2nd at 11:59 EST. Open to all readers over 18 years old.
Simply leave a comment below telling me what your favorite holiday card design is at Shutterfly.
2015/11/20
Netflix Hit the Mark with Grace and Frankie
I am a proud member of the Netflix #StreamTeam but all opinions and binge watching of Grace and Frankie were all my own.
As many of you might have read, this month has been quite a bit of crazy. It was non-stop go-go-go until life intervened and brought it all to a screeching halt when life hit me right in the eye with a nasty infection and no, that’s not a sexy euphemism for anything. At first, I was freaking out because I had so much to do and found myself completely out of commission. Add to that the antibiotics that had the side effect of not only destroying my digestive system but had the added effect of spontaneous narcolepsy. I guess it wasn’t too bad, especially since the vision in my left eye was blurry and I couldn’t work anyways because…you need sight to work on the Internet to see all the sees. I found myself partially blind and almost completely unplugged. It was like it was 1987.
Anyways, I spent my week and a half laying on my couch contemplating my imminent demise, adapting to the new unimproved elephant man face that I was sure to be sporting for eternity and feeling sorry for myself so I did what anyone in my position would do, I binge watched Netflix with my one good eye, in between trips to the bathroom, crying and naps. I finished season one of Bloodline so I had to find something else to distract me.
I kept thinking about my poor kids being known at school as the kids of the lady with the weird face. I felt like Gilbert Grape’s Mom. Then I started trying to rationalize the situation. Hey, there are kids with two mommies, two daddies, or a mommy, daddy and a step mommy and/or daddy. Some kids live with their grandparents and some live with aunts and uncles. My kids would just be the kids from the family with the super tall dad and the mom with the weird face who does that crazy thing “blogging” for a living. I needed to get out of my head so I searched for something to make me feel better. I needed something to put my “weird face” mom status in perspective. I need something to make me laugh, cry and get out of my own head.
I found Grace and Frankie.
Netflix’s new funny and fearless original comedy featuring Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Martin Sheen and Sam Waterston, is a perfect example of how today’s families can shift, rearrange and blend in unexpected ways. When Grace and Frankie’s husbands, who are in their 70’s, leave them after 40+ years of marriage—to be with each other—the women find themselves facing a change that they never expected, especially at this point in their lives. But they shift their perspective to get through it together with the support of their new blended family and, of course, a wicked sense of humor.
Grace and Frankie is a testament to women supporting women, sisterhood overcoming all the unexpected hardships, shifts and changes that life throws our way. Friends are what sustain us throughout life. It starts on the playground and goes on throughout our lifetimes. Shared experiences and memories only strengthen that bond.
It is also a beautiful reminder that families come in all shapes, sizes, sexual preferences, colors and beliefs. Family are the people who stand beside you, love you and support you and that is all that matters. It’s more than blood and genetics, it’s love and friendship.
Grace and Frankie had me laughing so hard and then crying the next. Life is beautiful and wonderful and unexpected. Life is messy and complicated and not usually what we planned for. In the end, we need to be happy and loved, the heart wants what the heart wants and the heart doesn’t adhere to social norms or expectations. Grace and Frankie is by far one of my favorite new shows on Netflix.
I also found another brand new show that I’m hooked on, Between, which is Sci-Fi series starring Jennette McCurdy. A mysterious disease strikes a small town’s adult population in this tense-sci-fi drama. Pretty Lake’s teenagers think they have their futures in sight with college, the military and even motherhood. But suddenly the town’s grownups start dropping like flies from some unknown plague and the government quarantines the town. Survivors quickly realize that they are trapped, no one is allowed in or out and they are going to have to figure out how to survive on their own, with no adult supervision or guidance. I’ve only seen one episode because unlike most Netflix series, this series is weekly but from what I’ve seen totally worth it. And don’t forget, Orange is the New Black is back on June 12, 2015. I will definitely be watching, will you?
What was your favorite show on Netflix this month?
What did you think of Grace and Frankie?
2015/05/30
A Mother and her Child’s Heart are Inseparable
This is part of a sponsored campaign with DiMe Media and Coca-Cola but all opinions expressed about my mother are my own.
In a Latino home, Papi may be el Rey but Mami is the glue that keeps the kingdom together. The women in the family are the caretakers; the nurturers and we all stick together. My daughters love their grandma and their aunts, almost as much as they love me and vice versa. There is a special bond between children and the women who nurture them, whether it is their biological mother or the mother figure that helps raise them. The bond is the same.
The most important person to any child is his “Mama”. That relationship is inseparable. No matter how you look at it, the love shared between a mother and her child is amazing; an amplification of the miracle of motherhood. It is the embodiment of true and unconditional love.
Unfortunately, eventually children grow up and move away. That’s what we work so hard for, to make them strong, independent adults who want to go out and explore the world. Of course, it hurts a little bit being left behind so we live for those special occasions when we know our children will call, like Mother’s Day. But what if the only thing that stood between us and our children or us and our own mother’s for that matter was distance? Would we let that stop us? What if we had no choice?
What better day to let mom know how truly special and inspirational she is than on Mother’s Day? I am lucky, my mom only lives a couple hours away but some people’s mothers live across the country or even in another country. I know a little bit about that too, my father lives in Mexico 8 months of the year. It’s hard when someone you love is so far away and even harder when it’s so expensive to call another country on a landline.
This Mother’s Day, Coca-Cola is partnering with DiMe Media to spread the amor for our madres this Día de Las Madres. Coca-Cola is providing a way for every child to call his mother, no matter where she is in the world.
Remember those old Coca Cola commercials about having a Coke and a smile? Buying the world a coke and keeping it company? Coke cares about people and this year to make us happy; Coke is helping us keep our Moms happy on Mother’s day by calling her.
Coca Cola is making it possible for everyone to speak to their mama on Mother’s Day for free! FREE!! Coca Cola wants to make sure that you and your mother are #Inseparable
Here is how it works:
Once you watch the Mother’s Day video you will be prompted to input your DOB (Date of Birth), phone number and your mother’s phone number. A California number calls the user, they pick up and it begins calling their mom. The mom also will see a California number.
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Coca-Cola will help you connect with your Mami or that special ‘mom’ no matter where she is around the world this Mother’s Day.
The Surprise Call to your Mother or a special mom figure is applicable to residents of the U.S. and Puerto Rico.
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2015/05/07
Doesn’t Every Child Deserve to be Healthy?
Ever see a child eating a bag of Cheetos and drinking a soda and wish you could do better for them? Ever wonder why the poor people are the ones who seem to be the most obese and the most unhealthily? It’s because hungry people eat what they can afford and when you are watching your money, fresh fruits, vegetables and organic are all just beyond your grasp.
Did you know that your zip code is a greater indicator of your health and longevity than your genetic code? Seriously, 23 million Americans live in low-income and rural neighborhoods more than a mile from the nearest supermarket, which means they have to eat what is near them geographically and affordable to them and that is not always what is good for them. Aetna is working to make sure that all children, all people, have access to healthy foods.
Poor nutrition poses a growing health challenge, particularly for those who have limited access to nutritious food, such as fresh fruits and vegetables. To help address this challenge and in support of its mission of promoting health and wellness for everyone, the Aetna Foundation has launched an incredible program.
49 million Americans, including 15.8 million children live in food insecure households. According to the CDC 9 in 10 children don’t eat enough vegetables. These are numbers are sobering and sad.
I am thrilled to announce that Aetna Foundation seeks to fund the creation and expansion of innovative approaches to make community gardens, urban farms and farmers markets available to vulnerable communities in order to help all children get access to the healthier foods.
1. To qualify for funding, programs must include one of the following:
2. Nutrition education or cooking classes focused on the health benefits of fresh produce.
3. Growth or distribution of produce that reflects the food traditions of the target area.
4. Opportunities to learn job skills or entrepreneurship within the context of gardens, farms or farmers markets.
5. Opportunities for community service or volunteer work with the project
Grants are open to new and expansion programs. All non-profit and community organizations with 501 (c)(3) status, and state and local government agencies are eligible to apply for the grant. Proposal deadline: May 6, 2015 at 5 p.m. ET to learn more visit www.aetnafoundation.org.
Aetna is trying to make fresh fruits and vegetables accessible to everyone, regardless of socioeconomic status. If you know of a non-profit or community organization in your areas that qualifies for this program, encourage them to apply for this grant and help save the children from being a victim of their zip code. Doesn’t every child deserve to be healthy?
Disclosure: This post is brought to you by the Aetna Foundation and The Motherhood. All opinions are my own.
2015/04/21
Happy Golden Birthday to the Child who Made me a Mom
Happy Birthday, Bella!
Ten years ago today, the most important thing in my life happened… I became a mother. I can’t believe I’ve been a mom for an entire decade. It feels like yesterday. I don’t even remember my life before my daughters were born. It all seems so trivial now.
I was not ready. I thought I was but I had no idea what being a mother really meant. I was prepared for changing diapers, kissing booboos and 3 a.m. feedings but I never, in a million years, could have known that it meant falling deeply, completely and totally head over heels in love with the vernix covered miracle that I would meet on that day. God was she beautiful.
I don’t mean in the traditional way like when you admire a painting or a flower. No I mean in the way a sunset is breathtaking because you know you are looking at the work of God. Looking upon my Bella, my miracle, for the first time was like flying for the first time or seeing the Grand Canyon in person. It was next level, mind blowing love. It was surreal beauty and it was the moment I knew my purpose, my destiny. That tiny bundle of everything, she made me whole.
When she was born, I was transfixed watching her tiny head come into the world via a mirror. With each push, I was closer to forever. My heart was racing. It hurt like hell but I didn’t care because all I wanted to do was hold her in my arms. Have you ever wanted anything that much? Can anyone ever want anything as much as to meet the child they’ve been growing inside of them for 10 months? I don’t think so. It is a very unique situation.
I remember the relief that comes with that tiny cry and I remember being filled with sheer, overwhelming joy. I laughed and cried, at the same time. Honestly, it is the closet thing to what motherhood is; profound bliss and heartbreaking misery all in one fell swoop but worth every single moment of it. I would have endured 10,000 unmedicated transition labors just to glimpse your face once.
Since my Bella was born, I have spent every moment dreading the moment when she grows up and leaves. That truly is the irony of loving something so much, one day, if you truly love it, you must let it go. That’s the part that scares me because I love my children so much and so fiercely ( like all mothers) that the thought of growing up and letting go guts me every time.

So, per usual, I find myself celebrating this amazing child that I had the privilege of bringing into this world and retain the honor of loving on a daily basis and simultaneously, sad because a decade has gone by in a flash. She’s halfway to leaving me.

I don’t know how I will handle it when the time comes. I suppose I will rage in my way against the letting go but I will never let her know because this is how it’s supposed to go. They come into our lives, make us better people, we raise them and love them and then send them out into the world to follow their dreams.

Staying behind like a beacon of light or a soft place to land. If we do our job, they won’t need us anymore but they will still want us. We are their home, and always will be, just as we were when they grew in our womb. No one ever tells you that while it’s happening, they have entangled themselves inside your heart like a tumor and will remain there forever.
My dearest Bella,
Today is your golden birthday. You are a 10-years-old, my sweet girl. Today, your father and I have been parents for 3, 650 days. You made us better people. You made us a family. I love you more than mere words could ever convey. It’s silly to even try to verbalize what our hearts feel for you.

You are amazing, courageous, independent, intelligent,funny, charismatic, beautiful on the inside and out and one of the kindest, most caring girls I have ever known. You can be and do anything you want to in this world. Don’t you forget that, ever. I am so proud to be your mother. I love you to the moon and back, I love you more than that. Thank you for letting me love you. Happy Golden birthday, baby! I hope it is as amazing as you are, my sweet.
XOXO
Mommy
2015/03/10