It’s Friday and I have been meeting a lot of new up and coming bloggers and it got me to thinking, I really wish someone would have written me a how to guide when I first started. Not on just the mechanics of how to blog but who to know and who to follow and who’s fun and what not; where to find good paid opportunities and places to write for and how to pitch. I had NO idea how to pitch a piece. (more…)
If you’ve landed here, we’ve somehow connected. Not like in a creepy stalkerish way but we’ve probably connected over some shared life experience, sad story or a good laugh. Maybe we’ve connected through social media or met at a conference. Or maybe you’re just a good old-fashioned stalker. In either case, I’m glad you found me…unless you’re a stalker.
Otherwise, you’re probably a wonderful PR person who is now wondering, “How the heck do I reach this lady so we can work together on a mutually beneficial campaign and I can pay her heaps of money to keep her kids in pointe shoes and gymnastics leotards?” And you may also be wondering, “Why does she keep writing in long, drawn out run-on sentences?” The answer, my friends, is because my daily life consists mostly of speaking to little people, a tween and people who live in my computer.
My point being that I would love to chat with you about relationships, babies, tweens (and everything in between) or working together. In fact, you can go here to get more information about the working together bit to here to find out more about me.
But if you want to connect on a daily basis, I’d recommend connecting through my social links below. I’m there all day, every day. It gives me something to do while waiting on line to take kids to and fro.
I love hearing from you. Seriously, your emails make my day. If you want to say hello, let me know you’ve been there too or just want to ask me a question, please email me.
truthfulmommy@gmail.com
How to start a Blog? Hmmm, that is the million dollar question. Okay, maybe it’s not. Who cares. Just be honest with yourself and have fun. I have been writing The TRUTH about Motherhood for going on two years now. In the beginning, it was slow moving. I had NO idea what I was doing writing my blog. There were things I wished I’d known about blogging.
I knew I wanted to write but had no idea how to get my writing out to the masses or what to write. But then I got the hang of writing my mommy blog. Here’s some wisdom that I’ve picked up along the way. Not the least of which is make your follow me, contact me, subscribe to me areas very clear and easy to find. Mine is located on the sidebar and under the “About” tab ( in case you were wondering and wanted to follow, subscribe, or contact me:).
Decide beforehand what YOU want to write about on your blog. What interests you? What’s your expertise? What’s your niche? What can you talk about endlessly and NOT bore your readers to death? Don’t go into this blindly.Try to have some sort of direction in mind.
Choose your community.Getting a blog following is hard work. Keep writing, keep working and get involved in a community of people who you’d want to read your blog. This was a piece of sage advice given to me by one of my favorite bloggers, Heather Armstrong of Dooce. I will admit at first I scratched my head and had no idea what this meant. Then I realized, build a tribe, surround yourself with a community of readers who are reading you for the reason you intended.Retain your integrity. This is VERY important.
Me, I want readers to read my mommy blog for my writing. But you also have to interact with your audience, reply to comments, go visit their blogs. Get to know them and let them get to know you. I want to grow a community of sisterhood through motherhood.
Be honest.Be Fearless. Let your guard down.There is nothing I hate more than someone who ONLY writes about sunshine and rainbows. Yes, some days life is sunshine, rainbows and bubblegum farts but some days, most days, I’m a woman on the ledge and my kids are tantruming and pushing me to jump.
Other days, they make a grilled cheese sandwich seem magical. It’s not always pretty. If I want inspiration, I’ll go read Enjoying the Small Things. Mostly when I read a blog, I want community. I want to know that I’m not the only one whose kids still sleeps with me, that someone else’s 3-year-old is subsisting on chicken nuggets, that it is perfectly normal to not like your kids every minute of every day. I want to understand your misery and share your joy..not feel like I’m a loser and you’re a liar.Write with your heart on your mommy blog or whatever kind o blog you have. A great example of being fearless and honest Jennifer Kindhouse and JessicaGottlieb.
Make it well written. I understand that some people feel that their blog is “their” space, like a diary. To an extent, I do agree. But if you want/expect your blog to be read by a lot of people, you have to play by the rules….of grammar. Nobody wants to read run-on sentences, misspelled words or choppy, nonsensical ramblings. Believe me, I edit for a living, it’s no fun. Having tools like the punctuation checker – seo tools centre would be a huge difference-maker in your writing game.
Pay attention to how you write. It is as important as what you write. Hell, be brave use some of those big words that you learned in college and knew before you had children. You know the ones from way back when you actually conversed with other adults on a regular basis? Great examples of this would be Laura @ A(n)(Un)common Family and Fadra (Fay-dra) @ All.Things.Fadra
NO CAPTCHA! People will not comment on your blog if it’s a whole big brain teaser ordeal and optometry test. In fact, they will probably loathe you for it. Believe me, I learned this early. Thank you Mommakiss!
NO self-starting playlists! There is no reason that my ears should be assaulted by your blaring music on your blog. We probably don’t have the same taste in music. Every blogger is not the same. I don’t want to be subjected to banjo music just to read your blog.
No matter how wonderful the blog may be, I will move on ( mostly because I am already listening to my own playlist. FYI: Iron & Wine + Crambone blaring=Ear bleed for me!) Don’t do it. And yes, I have been guilty of this myself. You know there are no rules if someone has not already broken them, hence the need for the rule:) I’m sharing my hard-earned wisdom of how to start a blog.
READ ALSO: Rise of the Real
For the LOVE of GOD, NO AUTO REPLIES! Do you know how insulting it is to take the time to read your blog, leave a comment, get excited to see a reply in my inbox only to open it and realize that it’s a generic “thank you for commenting” response? Not cool! This may be the cause for myself and your blog to divorce. I won’t be back. How rude!
SOCIAL MEDIA! You must have a twitter @DeborahACruz and FB fan page, at the very least, if you plan on growing your blog. You must have the appropriate buttons available for your post to be shared on these venues. It is very annoying when I read a fabulous post that I want to share with the world and I have to copy and paste the url. I know it sounds absurd but trust me, make it all as easy as possible for your readers.I’d also recommend getting an instagram account and a Pinterest account. You get the picture?
Don’t be afraid to network. To get love, you’ve got to give love. Be yourself and make some comments. Meet some people. Jump into some conversations.Like some fan pages. Make some friends. Get to know some fellow bloggers. Your biggest asset to building your following is your networking skills.You can’t just write to the abyss and expect hoards of people to find you. You are the face of your brand.No one’s buying if it’s not out there on the shelf! Remember that. Write it down! I’ve met most of the wonderful people I know, and learned a lot in the process, from networking on social media sites. It’s very important to know how to utilize sites like Twitter.
Join some focused communities! Not only is this a great way to network, it’s a great place to find like-minded individuals (fellow bloggers) who will want to read your posts. It’s also a great place to hone your writing skills, get advice and build your audience. There are many great organized communities to join.
Earn Yourself a Comment Mafia! What’s a comment mafia? It means you better get your ass out there and comment on your friends’ blogs and support those ladies that you want to share a community with if you expect them to do the same.This goes back to building your community. I can not stress the importance of this one. These are the ladies who will help you with everything from a kid with diarrhea to how to design your media kit and they will RT, Sparkle, love on posts and point you in directions of opportunity. Do the same for them. Don’t hoard your success. Share what you learn.
READ ALSO: How much to Charge for s Sponsored post
There is room enough for all of us in the bloggy world.Karma baby.Put out into the world what you want back. I am blessed with a great group of women who have helped me tremendously. They laugh at my jokes, cry with me when I am sad, lift me up when I am down. I try to do the same.I’m not perfect, and we are all busy women, but damn it we’re there when we really need one another.Love my girls! You ALL know who you are and listing you would just be name dropping:) Check out my This Blogger’s Life series.
Be Proud of what you do!If you are ashamed of what you are writing or feel like you have to hide your true feelings on a subject, don’t write about it.People can detect smoke being blown up their asses and most people will feel that it’s disingenuous and they will not return.
Never try to be someone you aren’t and you must remember you can only tell YOUR story.
Now, that’s all the wisdom that I have time to share today but why don’t you let me know any words of wisdom that you might have. What pointers would you give a newbie if you were explaining how to write a blog?
Thank you to Walt Disney Studios for inviting me on an all-expenses-paid trip to cover #DisneysNutcrackerEvent. All opinions and genuine excitement over Disney’s the Nutcracker and the Four Realms and interviewing Mackenzie Foy, Misty Copeland and Jim Cummings are my own.
Someone, please pinch me! This ballerina mom is going to LA this weekend to attend Disney’s the Nutcracker and the Four Realms press event. What? Yes!
You all know I’m a long time Disney lover. I married a Big Guy who has a hidden Mickey tattooed on him. We honeymooned at Disney World and we’ve seen every Disney movie ever, especially since having our baby girls. So many Disney themed birthday parties have been had. So many Disney memories and now, my worlds collide.
There is only one thing I love almost as much as Disney and that is ballet. My girls have been dancing since they were 2. I’ve sat through countless hours of classes, driven to hundreds of hours of rehearsals and attended so many Nutcracker performances, my heart swelling with pride as my tiny dancers arabesqued, pirouetted and leaped across the stage. I’ve stayed up late nights sewing pointe shoes until my fingers bled and the Big Guy and I have both perfected the ballet bun.
READ ALSO: Disney’s the Nutcracker and the Four Realms a Must See
Both of my girls have danced in the Nutcracker since they were 5-years-old. The Big Guy and I have been working backstage with tiny dancers and being a part of the Nutcracker magic every year. This is our family’s holiday tradition. My oldest has actually never gotten to see the Nutcracker live because she’s always performing on stage. This is why my family is so excited about Disney’s The Nutcracker and the Four Realms. We will finally get to see the story unfold together; all four of us.
I won’t lie, I nearly fainted when I got the pixie-dusted email. I read it about 3 times before I could convince myself that it was, in fact, real and I was being invited to the world premiere of Disney’s The Nutcracker and the Four Realms and would be attending #DisneysNutcrackerEvent. My mind was swirling. I felt like Clara getting to meet the Sugar Plum Fairy.
Sunday, I’m heading to Los Angeles at 8 am for Disney’s Nutcracker World Premiere event and I don’t think I could be more excited if I tried. Disney’s The Nutcracker and the Four Realms hits theatres everywhere November 2nd and you can bet, I’ll be at the theater watching it with my family.
The imagery is stunning with a star-studded cast including Misty Copeland, Mackenzie Foy, Keira Knightly, Helen Mirren and Morgan Freeman (to name a few). I’m going to really have to keep my inner fangirl in check on the red carpet but expect lots of updates and photos from the event. Who knows what might happen? At this point, I believe anything can happen because obviously, dreams do come true!
READ ALSO: The Nutcracker’s Tiniest Soldier
Keep reading to find out all the activities, interviews and more that I will be sharing during #DisneysNutcrackerEvent. Follow the hashtag 10/28-10/30 for all the Disney the Nutcracker and the Four Realms splendor that I can share.
But there is more! Yes, more. As if it’s not exciting enough just to have the honor of attending the world premiere ( I feel like a celebrity every time I tell anyone about it;) ) there is so much more. First off, I get to learn a few sweet The Nutcracker and the Four Realms inspired dance moves.
October 28
That’s right! Sunday night, I’m going to be getting a dance lesson with teachers and DANCING WITH THE STARS / DANCING WITH THE STARS: JUNIORS mentors Brandon Armstrong, Alan Bersten & Gleb Savchenko. What? Yes, you read that right! I’ll make sure to share the whole thing with you. Fingers crossed my two left feet are so excited to be at the Nutcracker and the Four Realms event, they forget they have no rhythm.
October 29
Have you seen the new Disney’s Christopher Robin movie? It comes out on Digital and Blu-ray™ Nov. 6. Embark on a spirited adventure with grown-up Christopher Robin, Winnie the Pooh, and friends, and go behind the scenes to discover how Disney’s beloved characters are brought to life.
In honor of the Blu-ray & Digital release of CHRISTOPHER ROBIN, we will gather with friends in the park and enjoy a delicious “Friendsgiving” meal inspired by Pooh’s favorite thing, hunny!
To celebrate the occasion, we will be interviewing Jim Cummings (voice of “Winnie the Pooh” & “Tigger”), who is one of the most well-known voiceover actors in animation. Even if you don’t recognize the name, you will recognize his voice.
Aside from voicing the beloved characters of Winnie the Pooh and Tigger ( one of my daughter’s favorites) during his illustrious career, he has worked extensively for Walt Disney Studios, voicing classic characters such as Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, King Louis, Kaa the Snake, Pete and many others.
His credits read like a top list of animated and live-action films, including “Who Framed Roger Rabbit,” “The Little Mermaid,” “Aladdin,” “Tarzan,” “Pocahontas,” “The Lion King,” “Babe: Pig in the City,” “The Hunchback of Notre Dame,” “Brother Bear 2,” “The Princess and the Frog” and “Gnomeo & Juliet,” to name a few. He has been Emmy®-nominated five times over, as well as had five nominations for the prestigious Annie Awards. All I can say is wow! He’s like animation royalty and I get to interview him.
As if that is not all exciting enough, I get to interview Misty Copeland, “the Ballerina”. You know, no big deal, she was just the first African-American ballet dancer to be promoted to principal dancer in the American Ballet Theater’s 75-year history. No big deal, just my girls’ ballet idol and constant female inspiration.
Misty Copeland didn’t start dancing ballet until she was 13-years-old by the time she was 15, she won first place in the Music Center Spotlight Awards. Through her career, she has been a constant inspiration to little girls everywhere. She gives them hope and confidence to know that with a lot of hard work, determination and passion, you can accomplish your dreams even if you don’t fit the typical mold.
When we found out, my girls were squealing and so excited. They are begging me to sneak them in my carry on.
READ ALSO: Why the Nutcracker Ballet is so Special
I will have the pleasure of interviewing Mackenzie Foy who plays Clara in Disney’s the Nutcracker and the Four Realms. Ms. Foy has quickly emerged as one of Hollywood’s most exciting young actresses. With a breakout role in one of the biggest movie franchises of all time, the Twilight Saga, Foy’s body of work continues to evolve with exciting and challenging projects.
She’s starred in Interstellar, The Conjuring, The Little Prince and Plastic Jesus to name a few of the amazing movies you might have seen her in. Ms. Foy is definitely a rising star.
“All Clara (Mackenzie Foy) wants is a key – a one-of-a-kind key that will unlock a box that holds a priceless gift. A golden thread, presented to her at godfather Drosselmeyer’s (Morgan Freeman) annual holiday party, leads her to the coveted key—which promptly disappears into a strange and mysterious parallel world. It’s there that Clara encounters a soldier named Phillip (Jayden Fowora-Knight), a gang of mice and the regents who preside over three Realms: Land of Snowflakes, Land of Flowers and Land of Sweets. Clara and Phillip must brave the ominous Fourth Realm, home to the tyrant Mother Ginger (Helen Mirren), to retrieve Clara’s key and hopefully return harmony to the unstable world. Starring Keira Knightley as the Sugar Plum Fairy, Disney’s new holiday feature film “The Nutcracker and the Four Realms” is directed by Lasse Hallström and Joe Johnston, and inspired by E.T.A. Hoffmann’s classic tale.”
Next up, I get to walk my first ever red carpet and see this incredible film that I’ve been waiting to be on the big screen since I saw the first teaser last year. It’s going to be amazing and I cannot wait to take it all in.
Best.Night.Ever.
October 30
THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT behind-the-scenes experience
We get a sneak peek of “The Kids Are Alright,” which airs Tuesdays at 8:30|7:30c on ABC. You can also watch/rewatch via streaming (ABC app/ABC.com/Hulu) or On Demand. This show is so funny and clever.
Set in the 1970s, this ensemble comedy follows a traditional Irish-Catholic family, the Clearys, as they navigate big and small changes during one of America’s most turbulent decades. In a working-class neighborhood outside Los Angeles, Mike and Peggy raise eight boisterous boys who live out their days with little supervision. The household is turned upside down when oldest son Lawrence returns home and announces he’s quitting the seminary to go off and “save the world.” Times are changing and this family will never be the same. There are 10 people, three bedrooms, one bathroom and everyone in it for themselves.
The series stars Michael Cudlitz as Mike Cleary, Mary McCormack as Peggy Cleary, Sam Straley as Lawrence Cleary, Caleb Foote as Eddie Cleary, Sawyer Barth as Frank Cleary, Christopher Paul Richards as Joey Cleary, Jack Gore as Timmy Cleary, Andy Walken as William Cleary, and Santino Barnard as Pat Cleary.
Facebook: @TheKidsAreAlrightABC
Twitter: @TheKidsABC
Instagram: @thekidsarealrightabc
Hashtag: #TheKidsAreAlright
STATION 19 behind-the-scenes experience
Behind-the-scenes experience with “Station 19,” starring Jaina Lee Ortiz and Jason George!
“Station 19” airs Thursdays at 9|8c on ABC (also available via streaming on ABC app/ABC.com/Hulu and on demand) follows a group of heroic Seattle firefighters as they put their lives and hearts on the line. The latest series from the executive producers of “Grey’s Anatomy,” “Scandal” and “How to Get Away with Murder” takes us inside the tough, tight-knit and sometimes heartbreaking world of the city’s bravest first responders.
“Station 19” stars Jaina Lee Ortiz as Andy Herrera, Jason George as Ben Warren, Grey Damon as Jack Gibson, Barrett Doss as Victoria Hughes, Alberto Frezza as Ryan Tanner, Jay Hayden as Travis Montgomery, Okieriete Onaodowan as Dean Miller, Danielle Savre as Maya Bishop and Miguel Sandoval as Captain Pruitt Herrera.
Stacy McKee (“Grey’s Anatomy”) serves as showrunner and executive producer, along with Shonda Rhimes and Betsy Beers. Paris Barclay (“Pitch” and “Sons of Anarchy”) serves as the producing director and executive producer of the series.
Facebook: @Station19ABC
Instagram: @station19
Twitter: @Station19
Hashtag: #station19
Sadly on Tuesday, I fly home and turn back into a pumpkin just in time to take my girls trick-or-treating. I’m so excited for the Disney’s Nutcracker and the Four Realms event that I can barely contain myself.
Like THE NUTCRACKER AND THE FOUR REALMS on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DisneysNutcracker
Follow Disney Studios on Twitter: https://twitter.com/DisneyStudios
Follow THE NUTCRACKER AND THE FOUR REALMS on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/disneysnutcracker/
Please follow along on my adventure by following the hashtags #DisneysNutcrackerEvent , #ABCTVEvent , #ChristopherRobinBluray and #DWTS on 10/27- 10/30.
Disclaimer: This is part of a sponsored collaboration with DiMe Media and Luvs but all opinions about Momojis are 100% mine.
We all know that a picture is worth a thousand words and, as parents, we know that we never have enough free time on our hands and little ears hear everything we say, especially those things that we don’t want them to hear and repeat.
Sometimes, as a mom, you need to vent to your partner or a friend about the craziness that is motherhood but words are not an option. A diaper blowout (code brown as we affectionately refer to it in our home) or a toddler’s public meltdown (as we’ve referred to in a Seinfeldian way, “these pretzels are making me thirsty.” Translation: These babies are making me crazy) are not exactly things you want to say out loud in public. There has to be a way to maintain a smidgen of dignity in parenthood, right?
Enter Momojis, emojis just for Parents.
Luckily, when it comes to parenting, LUVS gets it. They’ve created the first ever custom emoji keyboard created specifically for moms and dads, the Luvs Momoji Keyboard. Inspired by experienced parents and their affinity for emoji use, Momojis give parents more ways to easily express all the emotions that come with real-life parenting with no danger of little ears overhearing. It’s like parental shorthand for the parent on the go.
We parents keep our mobile devices within arm’s reach and text with people more than we actually talk to them. Who has time to talk when you’re raising toddlers? I never knew that was even an option. But my iPhone has practically become an appendage over the years. I use it to Google symptoms, call the pediatrician, play music to entertain the kids in random dance parties and find recipes to smuggle broccoli disguised as brownies into my girls’ lunch boxes so texting emojis is just easier.
Sometimes the tales of parenthood are so outlandish, it leaves the person on the other end thinking maybe you’ve been hitting the mommy juice a little early in the day but, truly, parenthood is the stuff urban legends are made up of. I mean if you would have told me 15 years ago one day I’d be texting the Big Guy to tell him our 18-month-old made an entire box of feminine hygiene products disappear into thin air or that my 3-year-old almost drove me insane by asking me the same question over and over for 3 hours straight after keeping me up the entire night before, I wouldn’t have believed it either.
The Luvs Momoji Keyboard app is also the first to offer access to the latest in emoji technology – the Promoji – which helps busy moms hunt for diaper deals on the go. Hey, who can’t use a deal on diapers?
I learned the hard way that Luvs nighttime were the only diapers we could use on our girls at bedtime that kept them dry. With new larger stretch tabs for easy fastening, and the same ultra-leakage protection and money-back guarantee, Luvs with NightLock™ provides the high-quality features babies and parents need for less cost then the premium brands.
Through the first-ever use of Promojis (promotional emojis), busy moms will be able to hunt for diaper deals and coupons from Luvs on the go. Promojis are the latest in emoji technology and allow users to quickly and easily find great deals and promotions. Luvs is the first brand to share coupons, deals and special offers with consumers in a whole new way.
For more information and to download the Luvs Momoji Keyboard, please visit the app store. For more information on Luvs Diapers, visit www.luvsdiapers.com or the brand’s social media channels on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/luvsdiapers),
Twitter (https://www.twitter. com/luvs) and
YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/luvsdiapers).
The giveaway is open to readers over the age of 18 that live in the contiguous U.S. No Puerto Rico. The giveaway will end December 24, 2015 t 11:59 p.m. EST.
Mandatory entry into the giveaway:
There are lots of things about Motherhood that we are never told beforehand; like how truly horrible transition labor feels, how a person can actually go 24 hours without sleep because a newborn requires almost round the clock feeding, how such a tiny person can hold your heart in their tiny little hands, how elating and exhausting motherhood really is, or perhaps what becoming a Mother entails physically, emotionally, and mentally. I’m sure that no matter if they had warned us, the warnings would have gone unheeded and fallen on deaf ears because we simply could not have been capable of wrapping our brains around such terrifying notions, speaking for myself at least.
For all the things that pregnancy and Motherhood have taken away or changed about me, it has replenished with boundless amounts of gifts from life like the delight and joy that the true smile of my daughters bring to me, the pride that swells within my chest knowing that I helped make such an awesome little miracle, the unconditional and endless love that my heart provides for these children, the feeling I had the first time I held my daughters in my arms or the first time my child called out “mommy.” The way it feels when you can kiss their booboo’s and make the whole world right again. Such love and trust is an awesome responsibility, it both humbles and scares the hell out of most of us.
Still, there are some things that pregnancy and Motherhood changes about ourselves that we can’t help but miss. For example; our sanity ( have I told you that I sometimes talk to myself asking how I got here ( this point in my life where I can’t rationalize with a 2 year old and am almost to the point of tears?), our short term memory ( I personally now have the attention span of a fruit fly), our hair ( between pregnancy hormones and then the stress of raising my munchkins…well, all I’m saying is thank God my hair grows like weeds. I am not exaggerating. The other day my husband cleaned out the vacuum and it looked like someone had vacuumed up a chinchilla!), our figures ( ass, thighs, belly, stretch marks…everything shifts and realigns…reshapes itself) , our hygiene ( who has time for a shower? And if you do….who has time for make up and shaving?) . All these things, I can forgo. But everyone has a breaking point… Mine is my boobies!
This is where I draw the line. I always had a great pair of lovely, perky, firm, round boobies! I mean I was pretty famous for them. People would come from miles around to look upon them. Yes, they were that fantastic! Then, I had my girls! Oh yeah, I tried to granola Mommy it and breast fed. Come on, we all want to do whats best for our children. No one told me! No one told me what breast feeding does to the twins. La Leche league needs to add a disclaimer : May cause boobies to relocate further south than once thought possible. You know the old adage the Bigger they are the harder they fall….I am proof positive someone was talking about boobies when they said that! I went from perkilicious tatas to looking like some Yummy Mummy out in the African jungle. Not cool! I specifically invested loads of money to know Victoria’s secret to keep the girls in their northern glory. But there is no fighting Mother Nature, that bitch has my arch nemesis gravity on her side! Fickle bitch. Now,what was once my shining glory has been reduced to what I can only liken to as utters. So, here I sit feeling such love as I watch my gorgeous little girls as they sleep like little angels. Then I look down( about 5 inches lower than before) and though I know this is a battle scar that I should be wearing with pride…like a lost limb or a bullet wound from war, I am looking with inquisition. Wondering just what the hell I have to do to rectify this situation. The girls use to be for fun, like a cute pair of heels…nice to look at and fun to wear but never did you really ever put any real mileage on them. Then they became for function and now they look like they have been rode hard and put away wet, like a pair of your favorite running shoes. Poor babies boobies, don’t worry..Mommy’s going to restore you to your former glory with a little help from Mr. Plastic surgeon and Ms. Victoria’s secret. Of all the things I lost, I miss my boobies the most!
Why did you start blogging?
I started blogging a number of years ago when my friend was dying of AIDS. I was raising my kids during the day and then spending my nights by his side at the hospital. I found that my friends would ask me how I was doing and then I’d burst into tears and start giving them the details of Steven’s demise. I needed an outlet and blogging became a good one for me. https://angrymom.blogspot.com Without that site I’d have lost many friends.
Write honestly. If you don’t have a passion there’s no reason for your readers to care.
I’d be scared to think about that.
Just one? Everyone loves Suri’s Burn Book right? No one’s supposed to admit to reading GOMI but I have to admit that it tickles me. Also I really enjoy suburbanmatron.blogspot.com
If you can get my husband my kids and me all in the same room I don’t really care what we’re doing. I am happiest when the four of us are together. As for alone time? I like to be in motion. I love tennis, yoga and hiking.
I learned that I can be respectful of people who I disagree with. Blogging reveals a lot about people that you might not otherwise learn and I’ve found that I can enjoy parts of people and they can occupy parts of my life without needing to agree with them.
I have a social media schedule. I am willing to spend up to three hours a day working on these things and no more. When the time is done, my work is done. No one wants to read about a blogger who sits in front of the computer all day. You have to get out and live. Most days it’s less than an hour but three is my absolute limit.
I don’t know what a successful blog is. Is success a large audience? Maybe financial security? Perhaps success means a book deal? Blogs are like the new MLM and the moment someone tells me they have one I sort of cringe because I’m not sure I want to read it. I’m not sure anyone wants to. Hell, most of the time when people ask me what I do for a living I tell them I’m a housewife. There’s something so inherently narcissistic about blogging that I’m both drawn to it and repelled by it. I can’t define success. I can’t define greatness. I’m not sure anyone can.
They same thing I do now. I’d just have to budget better.
This is where the work comes in. It’s difficult (and worth making the effort) to tell only my story. It’s entirely possible to talk about motherhood without talking about your kids. I’ve had a few slips and annoyed some folks along the way but for the most part no one knows much about my kids, my husband or my extended family. When my kids go to get their first jobs you will not be able to google their names. That’s the balancing act.
I don’t know that I feel particularly wistful for anything. Change is good. I love that short content can live on other networks. I just don’t enjoy slideshows, I’d say that’s the only big bummer in blogging right now.
I don’t. An awful lot of my content gets ignored.
My family of four and Sasha and Malia Obama. I want the scoop from those two.
Thank you Jess for being my guest today and always being such a huge supporter of other women & bloggers, and on a more personal level, thanks for always being such an awesome friend and mentor to me. Your writing always makes me think and your fierce attitude has taught me that strong women can do what ever they set their minds to. XOXO
There are a million Wordpress plugins for Wordpress sites and they are constantly updating an evolving. It is hard to keep up. Hell, if you are new to Wordpress, it’s difficult to even know where to begin. I’ve had my site for almost 4 years (next month) and I’ve been on Wordpress for the past 2.5 years. I still am finding new ones that I should have been using like Facebook page promoter, which is my new favorite this week.
Akismet: Akismet checks your comments against the Akismet web service to see if they look like spam or not and lets you review the spam it catches under your blog’s “Comments” admin screen.
Wordpress SEO by Yoast: WordPress SEO plugin goes the extra mile to take care of all the technical optimization, more on that below, it first and foremost helps you write better content. WordPress SEO forces you to choose a focus keyword when you’re writing your articles, and then makes sure you use that focus keyword everywhere.
Alpine Phototile for Instagram: The Alpine PhotoTile for Instagram is capable of retrieving photos from a particular Instagram user or tag. The photos can be linked to the your Instagram page, a specific URL, or to a Lightbox slideshow. Also, the Shortcode Generator makes it easy to insert the widget into posts without learning any of the code.
Comment Luv: CommentLuv Pro has even more amazing features that can bring even more traffic and comments to your blog by giving you the ability to fight spam, add keywords, integrate twitterlink, add a top commentators widget, social enticements and by having it installed on your site, you get advanced backlink features on EVERY CommentLuv blog when you comment (there are 10’s of thousands of CommentLuv blogs)
Facebook Page Promoter Lightbox (My new favorite): All your visitors should know about your facebook page and tell their friends. With this plugin you can display a preconfigured Facebook Fan Page-Like Box inside a lightbox (overlay).
Official Statcounter plugin: The Official StatCounter WordPress Plugin brings you all the powerful StatCounter features to your wordpress blog.
I also did some research on Facebook and asked my blogger readers what they thought were the must haves. I have compiled that list for you! Enjoy, my friends.
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What is your must have wordpress plugin? Please share in the comments!
Mommy truisms ~The truth, the whole truth and nothing but my entire truth. I wish someone would have told me the truth, but I’ m sure I wouldn’t have believed them if they had tried! But no more, I refuse to further take part in the vicious cycle of perpetuating the myth of constant Motherhood bliss by sharing my brutally honest truth about Motherhood!
Estimated reading time: 7 minutes
Mom matriculation. Have you heard of this? No? Yeah, I just made it up. Its definitely the hardest part of motherhood. It’s the culmination of the letting go that begins with senior year and just when you think its at its hardest, graduation, you unlock a new, unfathomable level of mom heartbreak… college drop off day. Bella is ready to launch but I’m not ready to let go. I don’t know if I ever told you guys the story of how I was supposed to go to Boston University, but, about 2 weeks before I was supposed to leave, 4 little words from my dad stopped me dead in my tracks, “See you next summer.” What??? Immediate failure to launch..
I had never even spent 1 single night away from my parents because in Mexican culture we just don’t do that. Due to our strong multi-generational family ties, family is not only a big part of who we are, it’s everything. My dad’s words had great emotional power over me, in fact, more power than anyone else’s. Not in an intentional manipulative way, its just that his words have always landed like concrete on my heart. His opinion always mattered, and still matters, the most to me. I’ve always held a tiny grudge about this. But that was all before I was the parent having to let go of my own, precious child. Now, I definitely get it, but, I refuse to do that to my girls. Even if it kills me, in the process.
Due to this particular incident, and knowing how it completely altered my timeline and changed the trajectory of my life, I swore I’d never say or do anything to hinder my own children’s flight pattern. But again, that was before I knew what I know; that was before I was the parent in the scenario sending my own precious child off into the world, alone, without me.
Fast forward to 10 years ago, when my oldest nephew was heading off to college, a “mere” 65 minutes away from home. Back before I realized that whether it’s 25 minutes or 65 minutes or 12 hours away, living away from your child is actually the same distance in mom miles because out of your house means out of your house. Your child is no longer bounding through the house, randomly hugging you and asking for a Starby’s run while blasting Swiftie or Megan thee Stallion, while you all sing to your heart’s content.
I vividly remember my nephew going away to college, instantly regretting his decision and my brother and sister-in-law immediately agreeing to pick him up and bring him back home, regardless of forfeiting his athletic scholarship. Absolutely without hesitation, they agreed. In my naivate, I was actually disappointed in their decision ( as if it were any of my business) and really couldn’t understand why they hadn’t encouraged him to stay a little while longer.
When I started Purdue University, a ” mere” 3 hours from home, I remember in those first few weeks sitting alone in my dorm room feeling that it was the winter of my discontent. Wishing someone, anyone, would come to my rescue and demand I return home. But that never happened and, in the end, everything worked out. I learned how to navigate life without my parents, eventually became adult-ish and had a terribly good time doing it. After the situation with my nephew, it reaffirmed my belief that I would “never” do what my brother and his wife did. Big words from a mom of elementary schoolers. That was before I was the mom of a college freshman about to matriculate herself out of my orbit.
Bella decided last spring to defer acceptance to her first choice college and attend a private liberal arts college nearer to home her first year. She realized after several college visits that she prefers the intimate vibe of a smaller campus over a huge bustling one. She decided that she wanted 1 more year at home. I greedily accepted her decision. The school happens to be 25 minutes from my front door. Then, she decided to live at home this year, instead of on campus. Again, I greedily and whole-heartedly accepted her decision. Next year, she has every intention on transferring to her first choice. In fact, it’s already being carefully planned and coordinated with that prestigious university. They are happily awaiting her transfer and, barring any unforeseen circumstances, 356 days from today she’s fully spreading her wings and flying away.
I know many of you have dropped your babies off at college in the past couple of days and weeks and have driven away sobbing as you bravely left your hearts on campus. I’ve been watching your posts and feeling those pangs of motherly heartbreak right along with you, mostly for you. But now, something strange has started to happen, I’m getting very overwhelmed and feeling very anxious in anticipation of my impending turn to let go. Fuck, I really don’t want to. ( I’m only saying this here because I can never utter the words “Don’t go” that my heart is screaming inside my head.) Just as I’m sure, none of you wanted to. I wanted to be cool about all of this but I’m realizing that I’m probably going to be the uncoolest about it.
This Friday is move in day for students living on campus at Bella’s school and also, the matriculation ceremony and banquet for freshman, kicking off a weekend long “welcome to campus” extravaganza. While Bella is not moving on campus, as if graduation itself was not the signal of the end… the matriculation ceremony is here to put a fine point on the fact that your child is no longer yours but almost, completely autonomously their own.
So while she’s still technically here, she’s really there. I know that just like on the day she was born and everything changed, on Friday everything changes again and in 356 days… everything changes forever. No matter how tight my mama heart wants to hold on to the most precious thing in my world, I know I have to let go. And at a time when all I want to do is hold her closer and cling to her more tightly (maybe more than ever), I have to gently push her away with a smile and encouragement, while convincing her that I’m fine and it’s all going to be amazing, because for her, it will be and that’s all that matters right now.
Then, I’ll have to hug her, a hug that I know will need to sustain me for weeks or months (this child of mine, who I’ve hugged and kissed several times a day since her existence, who I’ve shared everything with) and I have to release her as mine as she runs towards who she’s meant to be. And I have to do it with grace and unconditional love because this is about her, not me. This is the beginning of her beautiful journey. Then, I’ll have to drive away leaving my child behind, seeing her walking towards her future in the rear view mirror as I become more of her past than her future. If this isn’t the hardest part of motherhood, I don’t know what is and I don’t want to know.
This starts Friday. I can already feel it. I’ve felt the pangs and waves of letting go all summer. I don’t know how I’ll survive my mom matriculation, especially, since I have to do college drop off this Friday, then again next August and then again the following year for my youngest. I know I will survive. Because now I know, living 25 minutes or 12 hours away from your child is actually the same distance in mom miles because in your heart is in your heart and no amount of time or distance can separate the bond between a child and their parent.
No matter how near or far she flies away, I’ll always just be a phone call, text, car or plane ride away and this is how we survive college drop offs and new beginnings, her and us…mostly us. This is why I smile for her while my heart completely breaks for me. This is how we survive the hardest part of motherhood… the letting go.
I’m seriously thinking of starting a mom support group for middle-aged, perimenopausal moms who’ve had to send their children off to college and are trying to survive the letting go. If you want in this mom matriculation posse, let me know. We’ll get through this college drop off, suffer being left behind next chapter of our lives together. Freedom is not what its all cracked up to be. Why didn’t the baby books warn us about this bullshit?
