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Michael Brown’s Murder is the Result of Racial Profiling, Fear & Loathing in Ferguson
I have not touched the topic of Ferguson, Missouri and Michael Brown yet because I’ve been struggling with my own demons this week triggered by the suicide of Robin Williams but my fog is lifting and I am sick at what is happening in the world. I’ve spent the last 24 hours pouring over footage and articles and I am flabbergasted at what is happening in our country in this day and age.
I can’t pretend to know what it means to be an African American in this country. I can only imagine and empathize from knowing what it is to be a Latino. I also don’t know exactly what it is to live under the umbrella and protection of white privilege. I grew up a Latina woman in an African American urban neighborhood. I was not afraid but I was also raised that people are people, regardless of their color of skin, race, religion, sex or orientation. I guess that might be a fact those of us who are in the minority are taught and more readily accept because we don’t enjoy the privilege of ignorance. We’ve felt the wrath of hate and the shame of difference and so we tend to have a greater tolerance for humanity. We know what racism feels like.
On Saturday, police officer, Darren Wilson, in Ferguson, Missouri shot and killed an 18-year-old unarmed young man named Michael Brown. Michael Brown was identified as a primary suspect in a strong-arm robbery of a box of cigars moments before he was shot to death. Apparently, allegedly stealing a box of Swisher Sweets is punishable by death here in the United States. The cop allegedly reached his hand out of his car and grabbed Michael Brown by the neck and that is what initiated the altercation. What ensued next was unfathomable, he was chased and shot at and when he turned with his hands up in the air he was shot dead from 35 feet away. He was then left lying dead in the street for hours. Why? As a warning to others? On the other hand, if you got accused for some reason and you can’t attend your hearing, you must first know all the unacceptable reasons for failure to appear in court so you can determine if ever your excuse is valid.
The next night after a vigil in his honor, a peaceful protest assembled. The people of Ferguson, the world, want answers and justice. Michael Brown’s mother deserves answers. Yet, they are not even allowed to mourn and protest his death. The cops shot flares into the sky. When the crowd was not moved to disburse, flares were shot at the ground in the direction of the crowd. This is when the peaceful demonstration turned to riots. An emotionally charged group of people who were in the clutches of fear and sadness needed to protect themselves, this has escalated to rage.
By Wednesday things went from bad to worse, many of the major networks were not airing live coverage of anything. Journalists on the scene were being rounded up, blocked from the town and arrested.The I Am Mike Brown livestream via KARG Argus Radio allowed viewers to watch as police fired rubber bullets into crowds of unarmed citizens and advanced on peaceful demonstrators. Police demanded that the reporters turn off their cameras. Crowds were seen standing in the street with their hands above their heads as police fired tear gas and rubber bullets at them. There was no provocation and the police continued firing even as the crowd retreated into their residential neighborhoods; obviously, not giving a damn who they hurt.
I don’t know what it is about brown and black skin that strikes fear into the hearts of some people. Maybe it’s the guilt from years of ancestors beating entire races down and treating them like subhumans, maybe it’s fear of karma ( what goes around comes around) or maybe it’s just a general lack of compassion and blind ignorance.
The world is a crazy place and we come in every color and flavor of the rainbow, only when your skin is brown or black, you can’t hide it. You can’t blend in. There it is daring people not to notice.
I was not on the streets of Ferguson last Saturday night. I did not witness this tragedy firsthand and I thank God for that because I don’t think that my humanity could ever recover from witnessing that kind of brutality but I do have my own experience with racial profiling and the cops.
Here was my situation and the sad part is that it wasn’t unique or even special; a cop saw a car full of Latinos. He pulled them over; we were never given a reason why. It was myself, the guy I was dating and couple of our friends. They were driving me home before my midnight curfew. It was about 11:45 pm on a summer, Saturday night. I was 18. It was my first experience with racism and racial profiling.
When we were pulled over, I began to freak out because I knew missing my curfew was not an option. I asked my date to please ask the officer why we were being stopped. I knew that any delay would make me late and my parents were very strict.
This guy, a clean-cut young man who had served in the military and was college-educated, very politely asked, “Officer, can I please ask why we’re being stopped?” To which the officer told him to step out of the car and arrested him for resisting arrest after pushing him around and slamming him into the door of the car.
Meanwhile, his partner was asking me what my name was. I told him and he spelled my name Cruise, Crewes, Crews and truly acted as if these boys were kidnapping me or holding me against my will. Once we clarified that I, Debi CRUZ, was in fact, willingly in the vehicle his entire demeanor changed. The cop went from polite and kind to me to cruel and short, as if I had done something wrong simply by being Latina.
One of the other guys with us asked if he could take the car to drive me home so I wouldn’t miss my curfew to which the cop responded, “ NOPE! She can walk home for all I care.” Then they put my date in the back of the squad car and towed his car to impound as we all silently watched, not daring to ask another question for fear we too would be put in jail or worse for speaking.
Our friends walked me home silently in the dark, we all felt dirty and ashamed because we did nothing because we were too afraid to. This doesn’t seem like a big deal, especially in light of what happened to Michael Brown but it is an all too common occurrence and it shouldn’t be. Cops are human and officers of the law meant to serve and protect its citizens but does that only apply to certain citizens with Lily-white skin and preapproved accents? The problem is that the lines are so blurred; breathing too loudly could be construed by the wrong officer as resistance.
But the thing that I can identify with the most is a mother has lost her child. Michael Brown is dead and no amount of rioting or looting or saying I’m sorry is going to change that fact. The truth is that we don’t know exactly what happened in those last moments; what was said or done, only the offending officer and Michael Brown know that secret but we do know that nothing warrants shooting an unarmed child in the street like a rabid dog…no matter the color of his skin.
I feel like the world has gone completely backwards and spun right off it’s axis this week. I am horrified by the behavior and the things people are saying. I am disgusted by the lack of human compassion. Be good to one another.
What is going through your mind this week with the circumstances surrounding Michael Brown and Ferguson, Missouri?

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2014/08/15
If We Do Not Recognize, We Cannot Heal
I’ve been having the most hopeless feeling since the election results came in. I’m in a state of profound mourning. I am grieving a loss, not of an election but an immeasurable loss of the promise of a better tomorrow. I’m trying to pull myself out from under the rubble of the darkness that is my collapsed hope and faith in humanity.
This is a scary situation to anyone who understands the gravity of it. It isn’t like during a normal election when both candidates are somewhat qualified and then we go from there. Donald Trump is just not qualified for the position. Money can’t buy you experience or expertise. He doesn’t have a clue how the system works and it’s to his and our detriment. This has nothing to do whether we like the man as a human being or not, he is simply not qualified and I can’t believe people chose to totally overlook that fact when voting. It amazes me.
It’s been a week but I can still barely bring myself to speak outside of my bubble inside my house, the one that knows my plight and my heart. I’ve only felt this vulnerable on one other occasion when I miscarried my third pregnancy and all the possibilities were stolen from me by nature. But this election wasn’t the result of a cruel twist of nature. It wasn’t beyond our control it was chosen by people who either refuse to know what terrible they’ve done, don’t believe it is as terrible as we say because it doesn’t affect them directly or worse, those who prefer to go backwards than to live in the light of a new world of endless possibilities built on hope and equality.
I’m exhausted and weary. I can barely muster the strength to defend my fight. The fight that I’ve fought all of my life but I will. I can already feel my senses creeping back in. My heart has been singing a lullaby of Make me an instrument of Your Peace and I’ve decided to have peace, I must fight, educate and not yell; though I want to scream at the top of my lungs in the face of this miscarriage of hope. But no one hears what you’re saying when you yell. They only hear the anger and the words fall on deaf ears. I need my words to be heard. We need to fight harder than ever but we need to take the high road.
Last week’s election has opened my eyes in a way that I didn’t even know that they needed to be opened. I know I’m marginalized. I face it every day as a woman and as a Latina. I’ve had to fight to be seen and heard for who I was since I was old enough to realize that I was only being seen for what I was.
Friends, I get that many of us are disheartened and feeling hopeless about the Trump win and subsequent appointment of Bannon. Some of us fought really hard over the last few months to get Hillary Clinton elected. Some of us have been fighting our entire lives to make America equal. It was so much more than just a hashtag for us. It was a movement and a promise of a better way of life; an easier life. A life where we were not judged on the color of our skin, our religion, our sex or sexual preference but measured by our merit as people. What a beautiful dream it was.
I feel your sadness, your frustration, and your anger. It is natural to want to strike out when faced with such dismal prospects but this fervor to right all the wrongs, I wish it would have shown up before the election. But the PC veil has been torn down and now, none of us can unsee the hatred that is staring us directly in the face and screaming slurs at us.
The most frightening thing for women, disabled Americans, minorities, people of the Jewish faith, Muslims and people in the LGBTQ community is that Trump built his campaign by promising those alt-right “Make America White again” people that he’d let them have that and they are coming to collect. They took it as permission to hate out loud. I’m not even sure if he believed all the stuff he said but he has opened a can of worms that he can’t close and the fallout has already begun all over the country.
People are going to get hurt and those of us who are marginalized are going to suffer the worst. His rhetoric and this campaign have set our country back 100 years. I just hope we can survive it without a civil war that destroys us altogether.
I don’t have an answer as to how we get through this. I feel like so many of us are in jeopardy and danger under this new regime. I won’t lie, I’m in fear for the safety of our country from threats abroad and within. I’m mad that someone who had no qualifications and no experience and ran on a platform of crazy and hatred is what so many American’s craved in a leader, so much so that they ignored his lack of being able to actually get the job done.
I’m all for making an informed decision and choosing a candidate whose ideology lines up closest to your own. I believe in the right to choose whoever fits best for the America you want. That being said, I completely hold accountable those who put their blinders on to convince themselves that their own welfare outweighed that of the nation. They may not have all voted with hatred in their heart but there certainly was no compassion or care for those of us who would be affected directly by this outcome.
I want to believe that voters didn’t do enough research into Trump as a candidate and didn’t fully realize the ramifications of giving him the presidency. None of us will survive this term unscathed. Our country, our very way of life, will be changed for the worse.
Peacefully protesting to let the world know that Donald Trump is #NotMyPresident is a great way to show that we don’t support the Trump presidency but unfortunately, he is our president and we are vulnerable because of it. Contacting your representatives to make your voices heard is a step in letting them know that you hold them accountable, even though realistically it probably won’t change anything this election. Crossing your fingers and hoping that Hillary Clinton gets the presidency because of rogue electoral votes is probably not going to happen. We need to face that reality.
We need to have a new plan. Shit didn’t turn out the way we hoped or planned but seldom do they. The marginalized of us are used to disappointment. We’ve been training for this outcome our entire lives but we hoped for better. Our fatal mistake was believing we’d won the race before we actually had. We got complacent.
We have to change our plan of action. We don’t have Hillary to help us. We need to be stronger, fiercer, fight harder and never give up. We need to work for good, to defend our rights. We have to fight tooth and nail to protect our children from the fallout. And make no mistake, this presidency is not just bad for those of us who identify as marginalized. Sure, it may seem that way at the onset but it’s bad for all Americans because a country guided by a leader who has no clear direction of how to get where he’s going is a vulnerable country that will find itself in turmoil.
I ask that you all educate yourselves, your friends and your children (anyone who will listen) on our political system and the election process and government in general so that in the next election, in 2 years, good people can make good, informed decisions. This is the beginning of our revolution. History is happening right now.
We can’t let this stand but we have to use our words. We have to make them listen. We have to organize and mobilize. We have to use our minds and our voices. We have to get our shit together and stop crying and start doing and that is where I am this morning.
2016/11/17
When They Go Low, We Go High
This is a sponsored post. All opinions are my own.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if the world was peaceful and there were no wars, no hate, no starving children, no displaced and homeless people? What if there was no poverty, racism or bigotry in the world? What if the world was filled with people who loved people equally no matter the color of their skin, their politics or their religion? What if we could all see past the superficial and get to know our neighbors for who they are and not what they are? Isn’t that a refreshing thought?
The world is a crazy place. It feels like it’s gone completely wild (and not in a good way) and maybe just a little off the rails. Every day, the news is filled with one horrible act after another, each one worse and more gruesome than the last. I want more for the world that I’m raising my daughters in. I don’t want our generation’s legacy to be one of death and destruction so I’ve made my mind up to change it.
I know that a lot of people say that they can’t make a difference because they are only one person but every person counts; each one as equally as the last. In my world that starts with me standing up, being the change and being the example for my children. They are always watching and I want to be my best self for them because that’s what they deserve and that’s who I want to be. I’m not perfect and I don’t pretend to be but I want my children to see me actively working to be a good person and the best version of myself.
I’m teaching my children to spread love not hate and to embrace, seek out and spread positivity. I know that it sounds almost too simple, right? But honestly, it is the truest thing I’ve ever known. It starts with me teaching them to love and accept themselves and it ends with them knowing that I am always here for them; no matter how old they may be or how badly they may think they’ve messed up. My love for them is unconditional and everlasting and I hope this allows them the freedom to always follow their heart and do the right thing.
My goal is simple; to raise good, tolerant, loving and accepting human beings. I’m raising daughters who strive to be the best them that they can be and to not compare themselves to others because that only leads to jealousy and bitterness. It also leads to feelings of less than and dissatisfaction with one’s self. I don’t expect perfection. I expect them to work hard at what’s important to them and try to reach their goals. The real living happens on the journey not the destination.
We parent focusing on a few very important virtues 1)honesty 2)integrity 3)respect 4) to know that where there’s a will there is always a way and by far the most important, 5) you cannot control other people’s reactions, only your own actions so do good and don’t worry about whether someone else chooses to appreciate it or not. Life is so much better when we accept people for who they are and not who we want them to be. Life is not a competition and no one is keeping score. I want my girls to take the high road, no matter the road others choose because they can’t control others but they can control how they behave and move through this world.
I’m not saying that I am raising my daughters to be people pleasers, there couldn’t be anything further from the truth. I am just raising them to please themselves and to let others live their own lives. We can’t please everyone, nor should we even try but we can choose to be a source of positivity and optimism rather than a source of sadness. We can choose to go high when the world goes low.
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2016/08/04
Screw the GOP, Screw the NRA and Screw the Right to Bear Arms
I’ve been mulling over my thoughts on gun control, the Nay voters in the Senate that essentially voted for the rights of terrorists to have guns, the NRA and today’s Senate sit-in. There is so many terrible things happening in the world lately and with the mass shootings especially, to me, it feels like voting against people on terrorist watch lists having the right to purchase assault weapons would be a no-brainer. We don’t allow them to fly because they used planes against us on 9/11 but domestic terrorists use guns against us so often that it’s becoming common place and yet, we still allow them access to assault weapons. Let me tell you, it’s a hell of a lot harder to hijack a plane than it is to shoot someone with an assault weapon that it took 7 minutes to buy at the gun show. I honestly think the real problem is that most people don’t truly understand the 2nd Amendment so here is a better explanation of the right to bear arms. I have degrees that focused on Political Science, History, Government, law, criminology and sociology and sometimes, I forget that not everyone has the comprehensive understanding that I do.
Just one week after a Senate filibuster forced a vote on gun control measures and a few days after the Republicans stymied that vote (and we all became aware of what each senator was paid in exchange for his/her part in supporting the NRA) the Democrats in the House of Representatives are done with this political bullshit! Enough is enough. Hell no! We won’t go! They are holding a good old-fashioned sit-in on the floor to try to get the Republicans to relent and I’ve never been prouder to be a democrat than I am today. This day in Congress brought to you by the Democrats!
I have been pissed off since June 20^th when I found out that most of the Republican party voted Nay to the gun control measures and instead voted for the right of suspected terrorists and their right to bear arms. Yes, our Republican party is so hell bent on not crossing party lines that they would rather sell assault weapons to people on the Terrorist Watch List than protect our children from being shot while sitting in a classroom, dancing in a club in Orlando or just living in general. There are a lot of shitty, hateful people in the world with access to guns.
What’s worse still, we found out that almost everyone on the Nay list has taken funds from the NRA. Some of the Senators on the list sold their soul for free while others voted for your children to have the right to be shot for as little as $2000. Think about that? That means these people think your child’s life is disposable.
Thankfully, there are people in the Senate who care about our children’s lives than some macho misconception that in order to be free you must be able to own an assault weapon. Unfortunately, most of our Republican senators think the right to bear arms is more important than your right to hold your children in your arms. I’ve never made a secret about the fact that I’m anti-gun and my feeling that the right to bear arms is an antiquated one. Yes, I’ve been called all the names by all the right wing NRA, gun waving “true” Americans; liberal left wing C*NT seems to be the most popular. Anyways, f*ck your right to bear arms. What about my right to see my children grow to adulthood? What about my right to not worry every single time that I leave them that it’s the last because some psycho with an assault weapon might decide he’s having a bad day and needs to kill some people to feel better about himself?
The second amendment was added to our constitution at a time when we needed a militia. PERIOD. We don’t need general population Americans to be able to assemble and fight for their freedom. We have troops for that now; men and women who have been trained in combat. I don’t need John P. Anybody who lives next door having ready access to assault weapons to shoot kids walking through his yard for trespassing. No one hunts with a semi-automatic or automatic assault weapon, unless the point of the hunt is to obliterate the animal for sport.
I know that many people hold on to their right to bear arms like their right to breathe but I assure you that the second amendment has outlived its usefulness.
Gun control reform is needed in order to protect our citizens from real people with guns more than gun owners need to protect themselves from imagined threats.

“A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”
It is a dinosaur and it needs to be changed. It is not your right to own a gun so you can wave it around whenever you feel like someone has wronged you. It’s not your right to shoot people you don’t like because they looked at you wrong. It’s not your right to shoot someone you hate because you don’t agree with the color of their skin, their religion, their culture, their race or their life choices. You are not God just because you own a gun.
“If we’re going to raise our kids in a safer, more loving world, we need to speak up for it.” —@POTUS #NoBillNoBreak https://t.co/GSw4TkZxKB
— The White House (@WhiteHouse) June 22, 2016
But today, I feel hopeful because people are standing up (well, sitting in) for what’s right. What I can’t understand is how the same people who are adamantly Pro-Life for unborn children, don’t give a f*ck about my living child’s safety. My living children’s lives are worth less to them than their personal right to bear arms. Are children like cars do they start losing their value the moment they leave the womb?
Finally, some politicians are getting it right.
“The time for silence and patience is long gone,” Representative John Lewis, the Georgia Democrat and hero of the civil rights movement who is leading the sit-in, said in a stirring speech Wednesday morning.
“The American people are demanding action. Do we have the courage; do we have the raw courage to make at least a down payment on ending gun violence in America?”
“Sometimes you have to do something out of the ordinary.”
“Sometimes you have to make a way out of no way!”
Then Representative Lewis and his fellow Democrats sat down on the floor and began chanting,
“No bill, No break!”
It’s time we all do our part. We’ve been backing down in the face of the right to bear arms for far too long. The NRA would have you believe that to revoke the second amendment would be to infringe on the human rights of our fellow Americans. The NRA is full of bullies. It’s like a gang of big, dumb kids who don’t know how to use their words and resort to violence in the face of controversy. We Democrats, we are like the smart kids at school. But we can’t be scared of these small minded bullies anymore, our children’s lives might depend on it. We can’t back down this time.
Gun control can’t be more important to us than children’s lives.
2016/06/22
Family Travel is Life’s Greatest Adventure
Family travel and exploring are two of my favorite things to do. In fact, if I could do anything in the world, it would be to show my children every square inch of the world introducing them to as many people, cultures, languages and lands as time would allow.
I believe that the key to being a good person is being a good citizen of the world and embracing and appreciating the differences in people and places, all the while remembering that at our core, we are all human beings; that is our shared experience and it all begins with family travel.
This is the only tie we need to bond us to one another; humanity. It has nothing to do with where we were born, what we eat, what language we speak, our religion, who we love or what we believe. It has everything to do with decency, respect and human kindness. I feel it is my duty to instill this virtue in my children but there is only so much I can do from my neighborhood.
Like you, I teach my children that they need to respect themselves and those they encounter in the world but, right now, their world is still pretty small. It’s home, school, ballet, gymnastics, church and repeat. It’s quite the little bubble.
Family travel takes us out of our bubble and that’s good.
I’ve realized that the more we travel, the bigger their scope for human understanding becomes and in turn the way they move through this world. I see them grow with each travel destination we visit. I see curiosity for knowledge of others growing inside them. I encourage them to go be a part of it, to interact and have new experiences. I demand that we have adventures because I don’t want my children growing up as bystanders in their own lives.
I want to inspire my girls to spread their wings and venture outside of our comfort zone. Don’t get me wrong, I love 5-star hotels as much as the next person but there is a part of me that is filled with wanderlust and that part is hungry for adventure. I want to see things I’ve never seen and share those with the Big Guy and my girls. I want us to do it together.
I want to be a part of their life adventure so that someday they won’t be afraid to take their children on adventures. I want to not only visit places that are familiar but I want to immerse ourselves in places and cultures unknown. I literally want to give my children the world. As a parent, aside from unconditional love, I think the gift of travel and the perspective it gives, the bravery that comes from unshackling yourself from conventional thinking and inspiring my children to see beyond borders is one of the most important gifts that I can give to them. I want them to explore and learn new things that nature can give. Recently, I learned the best duck call for beginners which I also taught my daughters so we can watch ducks closely and just admire their beauty.
On a recent call as a National Geographic ambassador, I was introduced to National Geogrpahic Student expeditions, summer trips for high school students and middle school students. My girls are still too young to travel alone but I like that they’ve put this program together.
More importantly, I was floored by the National Geographic Family Expeditions, Unique Lodges of World and National Geographic Journeys which just launched 70 Adventures because these are completely organized trips that you can take with your family. You choose your dream destination almost anywhere in the world and National Geographic does the rest. Trips range from 7 days to 22 days.
I am most excited about the National Geographic Family Expeditions for obvious reasons. What better way to introduce my family to the wonder of world travel then through an unforgettable family expedition?
Set out on one of National Geographic’s family trips and experience the magic of discovery and exploration with your whole family. They’ve crafted their family expeditions to inspire and enrich travelers of any age, drawing on their global resources to create experiences in incredible places that are authentic, immersive, and fun. Watch humpback whales breach and kayak into remote fjords in Alaska; spot lions, elephants, giraffes, and more on safari in Tanzania; or go white-water rafting through Costa Rica’s tropical forest. National Geographic’s expedition leaders and local experts enrich your understanding of the culture, wildlife, and natural wonders of each incredible destination, and on many of their family trips, a young explorer leader facilitates fun learning activities for kids. This would be the perfect trip for our family of four to step put of our comfort zone and experience the world fully immersed. Now, I just need to start planning and saving for it.
If you want to get your little ones mentally prepared to take a leap outside of their comfort zone and curious for adventure, why not watch some travel documentaries together like Wildest Africa, Wildest Arctic, Wildest Islands, Wildest Latina America, Wildest India and several more to ignite that wanderlust in those little hearts? Or if they are a bit too young for documentaries how about Netflix’s new series that’s packed full of adventure just for the little ones, Dawn of the Croods, now streaming on Netflix.
Where’s your dream family travel destination?
2016/01/27
Ground Control to Major Tom
As I sit here stunned, I can’t believe David Bowie is no longer on this earth. The news was sudden and jolted me to my core, not because I was his biggest fan but because, like air that I breathe, like my parents love, like my faith in religion he has always just been there; a piece of my puzzle.
He was an amazing, thought provoking, forward thinking, take-no-prisoners kind of artist whose presence will indeed be missing from this world. Oh, but what a legacy he left and really isn’t that all any of us wants? To leave a mark on this world, something to make the world remember we were here even if only for a brief moment, long after we’ve gone, like the sharpied commentaries on the human condition decorating bathroom stalls across the universe?
His art was trailblazing. He pushed the boundaries between the acceptable and the absurd. No matter what you thought of his genre of music, you had to respect the technique and the lyrics. You had to respect the man who would not let himself be shackled by conventional thinking. Every word he sang was layered and nuanced, nothing meant exactly what it said and was so much more than you’d expect.
David Bowie was the soundtrack to my formative years.
He made deep, dividing political statements palatable and made being weird beautiful and cool. He made love so deep that it tore at your soul and made death transcendent. Bowie made you not only think your own thoughts but question the status quo and, somehow, made it all not awkward.
David Bowie stepped outside of everyone’s comfort zone to stretch the comfort zone big enough for all of us. He made the world all inclusive with his art. It was a good thing in this world and now he’s gone. I will miss knowing he’s on this planet.
I will miss his music always playing at just the right time or just beneath the surface, saying just the right thing at just the right time. He made us all believe we could be heroes no matter how weird, little, strange or different we may have been. He made us feel like we meant something and we could do/be anything we wanted to and it was all going to be alright.
Bowie taught us to fall in love and be all in, to live with no regrets in big, bold, beautiful living color. That lesson was imprinted on my soul. I think we all need a little Bowie in our lives to keep us shooting for the stars even when we know that we probably won’t stick the landing. I think there’s a little Rebel Rebel in all of us.
The heavens shine a little brighter tonight as I lay here questioning my own mortality and place in the world, even in death, Bowie makes me contemplate the deeper meaning of life. There’s been a cosmic shift and it feels as if all the air’s been sucked out of the atmosphere because something that always was, in my life, no longer is.
I fell in love with David Bowie the first time I heard Space Oddity and fall in love over and over again each time I hear it.
This morning I lay in bed with my youngest sharing headphones, like I did so many times in my youth with a brother or sister or friend, and we listened to my favorite Bowie songs and I saw how he will live on forever in his music/art. When someone leaves an imprint this big on time and space, they are truly unforgettable.

Photo Courtesy of my brother, Obie Cruz.
2016/01/12
Is Donald Trump the Next Hitler or a Hoax?
On a daily basis, Donald Trump says something that either shocks or appalls me. The man says the most outlandish, hateful and bigoted things; things that seem almost as if he is testing the American people just to see how stupid they really are; how far they will allow him to go, like a toddler testing their boundaries. I don’t know about you, but Donald Trump and his proposed immigration reform scares me.
I cringe every time he insults another race because each time he does, more and more American racists stand up and cheer. There is strength in numbers and with a presidential candidate crazy enough to vocalize the hatred in the hearts of many prejudice people, he gains more support and more influence and that scares me as a Latina woman and as a human being. In the midst of all of this, the brazen racist are revealing themselves; crawling out of the dark corners and alleys and rallying their aryan battle cry.
This goes way beyond Republican and Democrat party lines. Donald Trump is calling for banning entire groups of people from entering the country solely based on the color of their skin and their religious affiliation. He wants to build walls and mark people to identify them. You’ve heard the saying, those who don’t know their history are destined to repeat it? Well, hello, Mr. Trump sounds a little too much like Adolf Hitler to me. In the beginning his over the top antics were certainly controversial but almost comical because, surely, they were not genuine but now, I believe he’s blatant because he just doesn’t care who he offends.
I don’t know about you but I can’t stand by and watch this man round up all those he feels are unworthy to come into our country and persecute them. People who were escaping religious persecution founded this country. People who left everything they knew and loved behind in pursuit of freedom, happiness and a better life for themselves and their families. It’s the entire mission that our country was based on and now; Trump has made it his personal mission to shut people out; to discriminate and persecute the very people that need our refuge. The scariest part of all of it is that with each bit of hatred he spews, more Americans stand up and support these ludicrous, radically racist ideas.
I keep thinking that this has to be a joke. No one can hate these many people. Hatred even in the name of patriotism is still hatred.
Donald Trump must be trying to see how far he can go before someone stops him.
Surely, he cannot be this bigoted. He is a businessman who has made money working with people from all over the world. Am I to believe he has secretly despised them all? Surely, this must be a hoax. Maybe this is a ploy to capture the Republican nomination only to alienate himself so badly that the American people have no other option but to vote for a democrat. Maybe he is a political genius who is a secret democrat.I hope none of this vitriol is real.
If we believe every outlandish thing he’s said, we’d have to believe that he wants to ban Muslims from entry into the United States solely on the basis that because of their religion they should be considered dangerous. Well, I think the Westboro Baptist people are pretty dangerous but I don’t see him trying to kick them out of the country.
He wants to ship the Mexicans out because he wants the American people to believe that we are all criminals, rapists, murderers and drug cartel members. According to his proposed immigration reform, I would be sent to Mexico even though I was born here and have never lived there. He also doesn’t particularly like Asian people or women either. Each thing he says is crazier than the last and still his support grows. What’s next? Will he try to deport all of the African Americans back to Africa? Or maybe he will try to reinstate slavery or make it legal to continue to shoot unarmed black men?
Make no mistake, Donald Trump is dangerous. I don’t want to hurl insults and go off on a tangent about how ignorant I think what he’s saying is but I want to be clear that I am disgusted by his racism, his political tactics and his blatant disregard for basic human rights and I am scared for our country that there are some people who think this is okay. There are people who silently walk past me on the street and inside their head, they agree with him. This makes me feel vulnerable and unsafe in a way that no terrorist ever has. Trump running for president is entertaining to some until he actually gets elected and is corrupted completely by his power.
What are your thoughts on Donald Trump for President?
2015/12/10
Marriage Equality and Being Human in America
Today, marriage equality became legislation nation wide. Today we got one step closer to human equality.
According to the Oxford dictionary a Human Being: A man, woman, or child of the species Homo sapiens, distinguished from other animals by superior mental development, power of articulate speech and upright stance.
That is all it takes to qualify us as human beings.
This is what differentiates us from the animals. It does not say that there are varying degrees of human beings. Man, woman and child homo sapiens are all equally human. Not one is better or more superior in mind or make up because of race, creed, color, religion or sexual preference. We are all, at our core, human beings. If everyone accepted that, the world would be a more peaceful and beautiful place to live.
I am a 42-year-old, heterosexual, Latina woman which in the eyes of some make me less than. I am nearing middle-age, I am first generation Mexican-American and I have a vagina. Old, brown and vagina to some. But not to me. To me, I am the strongest woman you will ever meet. I don’t stop and I don’t even believe in the word can’t. Nothing is impossible. Your underestimation of me, of anyone, is your problem not mine because I will prove you wrong every damn time. I’m the underdog and I have nowhere to go but up. Be prepared to fight because I won’t give up and I think that is how most minorities feel.
This morning, I wrote a piece at Latina.Mom.me about Donald Trump’s racist statements about the Mexican people and South American immigrants. He said Mexico is not sending it’s best and those Mexican immigrants that come to the United States are criminals, rapists and drug lords. That pisses me off. I am personally fucking offended.
Maybe he should read a book because, in case he missed it, this country was founded by immigrants. This country was built on the blood, sweat, tears and backs of immigrants. Immigrants from Mexico and South America are no more criminal than the immigrants who landed on Plymouth rock, in fact, maybe less so. My ancestors didn’t murder the Native Indians.
Most of my family were immigrants; none of them were rapists, drug lords or criminals. Most of the people fleeing from South America are coming to provide better lives for their children. They are good, hardworking people. They are victims of their circumstances. They are running from the drug lords. And Mr. Trump as you talk of building a wall on the Mexican American border to keep Latinos out, just remember most of the area you want to build a wall around, once belonged to Mexico. They didn’t land on the border, the fucking border landed on them.
Then I see the news about Dylann Roof, white racist guy who decides that it’s his personal right to go kill a bunch of innocent African Americans at church. He just walked in there like he was an exterminator and it was his God given right to murder human beings because he does not feel that their life is equal in value to his because they are black.
Let me remind all of you racist assholes who share this twisted mentality; Americans brought the Africans to the United States as slaves for free labor. The Africans were stolen from their homes, separated from their families, raped, beaten, humiliated and dehumanized before they were worked to death in the fields like animals. They were treated as disposable labor and property, not people. I’ve actually heard people in the south tell a black person to “go back to Africa!” Are you kidding me? They didn’t want to be here in the first place and now you tell them to go back? African Americans are Americans and bottom line, they are human beings. If you can’t treat them as such, maybe you should leave? The people of color are having a bad week. This has to change, soon.
But thankfully, today one injustice was undone. Today marriage was made legal across the country and no one can refuse anyone that right to be married. The world we live in changed for the better today. It’s not just about a wedding and a party with the person you love, it’s about the right to be seen as a spouse in the eyes of the law. It’s about being able to share insurance, be one another’s next of kin, be at the bedside of the one you love because you are legally seen as family. It’s about not having your entire life undone on top of losing your partner. It’s about being free to love and live as a family unit. It’s about parental rights and medical say so. It’s about humanizing the homosexual community.
In response, one middle-aged white man, Rick Scarborough, a christian fundamentalist and former southern Baptist pastor, threatened to set himself on fire if Supreme Court ruled in favor of same sex marriage. I ask you , does anyone have a match this asshole can borrow?
In other news, have the country is threatening to move to Canada to escape the marriage equality hell in a fate of the United States, apparently this morons know nothing of world politics because Canada has had legalized same sex marriage for a decade.
The bottom line is that all of us, the weak, poor, huddled masses… the browns, the blacks, the Jews, the trangendered, the homosexuals and those of us with vaginas we are just as human as the middle-aged white men who hate us with such fervor that they want to see us eradicated from their existence.
Today is a day of celebration. We have made one tiny step for human equality. Let’s keep fighting and remember that we all deserve the same, respect and rights because we are all equal in our humanity. Today, love wins! Today, the world became a better place for our children.
What are your thoughts on marriage equality?

2015/06/26
United We Resist
The only option is to resist.
I have, literally, been trying to write this post since the day after the inauguration of Donald Trump but I can’t form my thoughts into coherent words because every day there is some new mind boggling executive order being passed down. What I do know is that we have to resist. We the people have to resist.We cannot go gently into that good night. The man is on the fast track to being a dictator the likes of Hitler, Pinochet, and Castro.
My mind has been having a hard time keeping up with everything going on during this first week of Trump’s presidency.My heart is heavy but my mind says resist. Resist the urge to lay down and curl up into the fetal position. Resist the natural response to drown in my own tears. Resist the wrong that is being inflicted. Stand up. Fight. Now. Use your voice.
I feel like we are all patiently awaiting the purge. Those who are complacent are part of the problem. Quietly disagreeing is no longer an option. We’ve gone way beyond that point. You must be prepared to stand up and speak out. You must be prepared to fight because your life is at stake. Your basic human rights are in jeopardy. This man is turning the United States into a sinking ship and we are all being held hostage aboard the S.S. Hate.
I am a woman. I am a Latina. I am the daughter of an immigrant. I am the mother of a new generation of Latinas. I do not have the option of being quiet and not fighting. I choose action, for my father, for my children, for myself and for you!
Women, United we Stand and Divided we Fall.
Ladies, what are you doing? We’re fighting with each other over who should march and who shouldn’t. And while we’re not paying attention, the government is slowly putting its hands on our uterus while Trump is single-handedly stripping us of our basic human rights. If you are a woman and this doesn’t scare you, you might want to get a dictionary and Google Women’s rights.
Resist the urge to turn on one another. This is the time for unification, not separation.
Marching was not just about the right to choose. It’s about the government telling women what to do with their bodies. How we reproduce. When we reproduce. How we feed our babies. How we deal with the loss of our babies. The punishment for not carrying a pregnancy to term for several reasons, including rape, incest, medical reasons and yes, even choice. It’s about men having domain over our bodies when we don’t give consent and even when we say no. It’s about women being treated like livestock and not humans. It’s about every single human being born with a vagina and a uterus.
Ladies, our daughters are watching.
Photo via Instagram @LatinasUnited
Last week’s March was an amazing show of solidarity in a time of turmoil. The American women came out in powerhouse droves to stand up for their rights as human beings and their reproductive rights. Women across the world put everyone on notice that we are no longer going to stand silently by as the patriarchy treats us like second class citizens.
I’m still having a hard time understanding why our reproductive rights are a point of discussion at all. Why is it anyone’s business what we do with our bodies? How does my choice to do what I want with my body fall under government jurisdiction?
If men can justify this behavior and the right to have dominion over women’s bodies, why can’t we women make federal law on how men use their reproductive systems? What if we banned all the Viagra, imposed vasectomies on any man we saw unfit to reproduce and, just for shits and giggles, give every man a good lecturing about how he should not be masturbating because it is fornicating and that is a sin under God’s law? What if we made touching your balls without permission a sin punishable by jail time, just because?
You know what’s even more disgusting than men having their hands metaphorically in our uteruses, controlling how we use our own bodies? Women who mock the feminists, the marchers and the women fighting for equal rights for women. The ladies who stand on the sidelines and support a man who categorically believes you are a second class citizen.
You ladies are self-loathing pieces of shit and I wish there was a way that you could sign a petition to show your lack of support for women’s rights so that when we do get our rights fully and unequivocally, you can have yours taken away. Your body, your choice. You don’t want them. Hand them over. But, I’m not going to fight against you, my sisters, because I will fight for you and whether you know it or not, you deserve to be treated and paid and recognized as a full human.
I will resist my urge to abandon and mock you.
We have to stop fighting each other because our daughters are not equal to our sons, not in the eyes of the law. Not in pay. We are not the same as men. We are not equal. Sit with that for a moment, we.are.not.equal. Not under our government. We are second class, at best. Is that what you want for your daughters?

Equal rights for others does not mean less rights for you, It’s not pie.
Censorship of the United States
We are being censored to our death. Since before the election, people who have defended their choice to vote for Trump have always prefaced it with,
“I don’t think he is actually as racist/anti-woman/homophobic/xenophobic/anti-disabled/anti-poor as he pretends to be.”
Apparently, none of these people have ever heard of the saying, “when someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Actions speak louder than words and your vote said everything.
Now, we live in a world of censorship where randomly shutting down U.S. government social media accounts that tell a truth that contradict the alternative facts, ignoring the press when they ask hard questions, shutting the press out and eliminating the transparency of the presidency, “alternative facts” and straight up lies are all acceptable behavior by our leader.
We are beginning to get only the news Trump wants us to have. Where was the coverage of the protests the night before the inauguration? The coverage of the women marchers and the #NoBanNoWall protestors? Trump even brings along his own people to applaud when he gives these unbelievable speeches to fool us into thinking anything he says is worthy of applause. It’s a tactic used to deceive us into believing we are misunderstanding because surely there would not be applauding for something so outlandish as the complete deconstruction of our government.
The man is playing the shell game with the American people, in one hand he is signing outlandish orders and while we are protesting he is quietly slipping Bannon, a known white supremacist, into his cabinet. The man is filling his cabinet, one-by-one, with less and less qualified people.
Trump is turning the United States into a sinking ship that he nor none of his cabinet know how to drive and all the American people are stuck along for the ride. His entire cabinet is made up of billionaires who are not qualified for their positions and who are so out of touch with the average American that it is ridiculous to expect them to be able to relate. Pay attention people, this is your life we are talking about here.
Resist like your life depends on it because it probably does.
We’re not paying for the fucking wall.
A few years ago, when I had my miscarriage, I got a bill for a few thousand dollars to pay for what the hospital referred to as a “Missed abortion.” To say I was insulted and hurt would be the understatement of the year. It’s like someone murdering you and you going to jail. The miscarriage happened to me. It was bad enough that I had to pay for it like it was a new bag or I got new a new nose or something but then to call it a “missed abortion” that cut like a knife. That’s about how the Mexicans feel about paying for a wall to keep them out. Are you kidding me? No, they’re not paying for a wall that so clearly puts them on the receiving end of the biggest insult the U.S. government could issue against an ally.
My dad is an immigrant who has papers to legally be here. He’s lived here for almost 50 years. That’s longer than he lived in his native Mexico. He is now retired and currently in Mexico, as he goes there for the winter months. I don’t even know if he will be able to come back, at the rate Trump is throwing people out. What if his papers get revoked? This is a very real and legitimate concern of mine.
Trump enacted the Muslim ban. If you don’t see the problem with this, then there is something wrong with you. Our government is actively detaining people at the airports and sending people back. People who have lives, families, and jobs here simply because their skin is brown and maybe, they don’t worship like we do. Saying all Muslims are terrorists is the same as saying all Christians are members of the Westboro Baptist.
I’m a Christian. I am Catholic under a pope who does not condone this Muslim ban. You cannot call yourself a Christian and disobey the fundamental teaching of the church to love your brothers and sisters as you love yourself. So to ban Muslims under the guise of Christianity is simply dressing your hate up as religion and it is not possible. The two do not line up.
America is a country born on the back of immigrants. The whole premise of our country is that it is a place where people could come when fleeing religious persecution and unjust, tyrannical governments to pursue a better quality of life. This is why we are known as a melting pot. This is what makes America great but Trump doesn’t agree.
photo via Instagram @nicoalexa
Keeping people out of our country, turning children in need away, sending people seeking political amnesty from a tyrannical dictatorship goes against everything this country stands for. It is issuing a death sentence. It’s like locking people in a burning house. We are killing them.
Calling people rapists, drug lords and terrorists are doing nothing but villainizing the victims. Have we all forgotten what happened to the Jews during the Nazi reign? And it wasn’t just the Jews that Hitler destroyed.
Hitler put 6 million Polish people (Jewish and Christian) into his concentration camps, as well as people from Hungary, Czechoslovakia, Ukraine, Russia, Holland, France and even Germany. There were 11 million victims of the Holocaust. He targeted Jews, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Roma Gypsies, Courageous Resisters, Priests and Pastors, Homosexuals, people who were disabled, Black children and anyone in an interracial marriage. Does any of this sound familiar to what we are looking down the barrel at right now?
“First we need to examine Hitler’s egocentric and maniac ideology. Hitler, who was Chancellor of Germany during the Holocaust, came to power in 1933 when Germany was experiencing severe economic hardship. Hitler promised the Germans that he would bring them prosperity and that his military actions would restore Germany to a position of power in Europe.
Hitler had a vision of a Master Race of Aryans that would control Europe. He used very powerful propaganda techniques to convince not only the German people, but countless others, that if they eliminated the people who stood in their way and the degenerates and racially inferior, they – the great Germans would prosper.
Neighboring Poland – The First Target: “All Poles will disappear from the world…. It is essential that the great German people should consider it as its major task to destroy all Poles.” Heinrich Himmler
Hitler’s first target was Germany’s closest neighbor to the east, Poland. An agricultural country with little military power. Hitler attacked Poland from three directions on September 1, 1939 and in just over one month, Poland surrendered — unable to defend itself against the powerful German prowess.
In Poland, Hitler saw an agricultural land in close proximity to Germany, populated by modest but strong and healthy farmers. Hitler quickly took control of Poland by specifically wiping out the Polish leading class — the Intelligentsia. During the next few years, millions of other Polish citizens were rounded up and either placed in slave labor for German farmers and factories or taken to concentration camps where many were either starved and worked to death or used for scientific experiments.”
Do you see the similarities? To read more similarities, read more from this article about the Non-Jewish victims of the holocaust. Just in case you think you are safe from the New Nationalists because you are white?
Edmund Burke once said, “Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it.”
Please know your history or you will fall victim to it. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to be a part of a history that destroys our country under a government that cares nothing for us but for what we can do for it.
I will not stand idly by as my rights are stripped away one by one. I am a human being and so are you and we have to stick together to fight against what is sure to be history repeating itself. It’s already begun. It’s been a week. What do you think this will all look like in the history books in after 4 years? Viva La Resistance!
It’s time to mobilize. Get into formation ladies, gentleman, children, homosexuals, Muslims, Latinos, Disabled people and the poor and disenfranchised. Time to protect our freedoms and our human rights and dignity.
Give us your tired, your poor and your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
What are you doing to resist?

2017/01/30
Fear and Ignorance is What’s Killing Black Men
Yet another African American man, Walter Scott, has been shot dead in the streets. Hearing this saddens me but seeing the video infuriates me. How many people have to die before we change what we will accept from law enforcement, from the justice system and from ourselves?
A 50-year-old black man was pulled over for a broken taillight in North Charleston, South Carolina. The officer, Michael T.Slager, tasered Walter Scott who had warrants out for his arrest for not paying child support. Scott ran after being tasered. The police officer followed in pursuit on foot and then shot the unarmed man 8 times, in the back. Would he have done the same if it had been a 50-year-old white man?
Then, it appears from the video, that the officer drops the taser by Scott. The same taser gun that the officer said the man had on his person; the very reason he felt threatened enough to shoot him. To add insult to grave injury, Walter Scott was left lying on the ground; face down, bleeding out while not one of the officers attempted to perform CPR on him. Officer Slager is being charged with murder. I’m glad. Still, there is no explanation for these events that can make any of this right for me. If seeing is believing, I’ve seen enough.
My belief is this white cops are shooting black suspects because they are afraid of them. I don’t know if it’s because of some residual guilt over the inhumane way that most Caucasians have treated African Americans throughout history, instilled racism from their upbringing or just plain old ignorance that allows them to treat black people as less than and still sleep at night. Whatever the reason, I believe that some white people are genuinely afraid of black people simply because of the color of their skin.
On the flip-side, I believe African Americans run from Caucasian officers because they are afraid of them too; afraid that their fear will cause them to overreact and use excessive force.Fear that their lack of respect for their basic human rights could put them in imminent danger. If history tells us anything, they’re not wrong. We’ve seen it happen. It’s not unimaginable. This is just my theory.
How many more Walter Scott incidents can we tolerate?
Everything about this sickens me, however, it no longer shocks me. This is nothing new. The only thing that’s changed is that everyone has a camera with a phone that takes video and social media allows us to share these stories instantaneously with remarkable reach. This has been happening for centuries and anyone who believes it hasn’t is fooling themselves. We are being forced to face the reality of our brutality. You can no longer be blissfully ignorant about the world because the truth is caught on video and shown to us. To say you didn’t know it was happening today, is to be a liar.
I grew up in an African American neighborhood and in my world, this is how the cops have always treated African Americans. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. The world is an unfair place where fear causes men to do unspeakable acts in the name of self-preservation. Fear is a very effective motivator, even when it’s completely unfounded.
I’m not saying that all cops are racist or bad people. Quite the opposite. There are many law enforcement officers who risk their life every single day to serve and protect their community but there are a few small men with narrow minds, who function on fear and power and have guns. These are the ones who make me afraid. The ones who can be more compassionate to a dog in the street than a dying man lying in front of them. Those who lack humanity and human compassion scare me the most.
We know there is a problem. No human being should be shot dead in the street. I don’t care what color, creed, race, religion or sexual preference you have. We need to change. How many mothers have to lose their children? How many children have to lose their fathers? How many lives have to be snuffed out before it all adds up to too much?
In my book, one dead human being in the street is too many. We have to stop letting fear and ignorance govern our reactions. Collectively as the human race, we need to say no more and develop a zero tolerance policy for the brutality and abuse of power that we currently accept as status quo. This is unacceptable. This is not the world that I want for my children. Our children deserve better.
What are your thoughts on the Walter Scott shooting?
2015/04/08