The TRUTH About Motherhood

Search results for: “regular mom”

Road Tripping with Toddlers or Hell on Wheels
Road Tripping with Toddlers is not for the week. We are on a mini vacation/ look see around town for my husbands potential new job, in Virginia. First, let me start by saying, this is one of the most gorgeous parts of the country that I have been to thus far in my life. The weather is awesome, the foliage abounds, large cities are concealed by an enveloping plethora of greenery. Essentially, you have big city life with the look of the country and all the amenities of a Beaches all inclusive resort. So, that is where we are Today!
On Saturday, however, we were road tripping with toddlers for 12 glorious hours. Yes, that is correct, 12 hours with a 4 and newly turned 2 year old.Can you say a little touch of hell on earth. My ,otherwise, sweet loving girls do not like to be confined in those 5 point harnesses on a good day on a trip across town. So, imagine their state at taking their very first long drive trip imprisoned in those wonderful harnesses.
My oldest, rambunctious as ever, insisted on asking, every 20 minutes or so,”Are we there yet?” I always thought that was a funny spoof on parenting but now I realize that it is, in fact, the truth of traveling with children. I never realized how frazzling that could be to me as a person. I thought “those” moms have no patience. Just say ,”Not yet, in a little while.” Why all the overreaction? Then I realized that it can actually bring you to the brink of insanity and make a grown woman, such as myself, cry, almost inconsolably, if asked in the right voice and enough times over a 12 hour period.
While the oldest was hitting us with the barrage of “Are we there yet”s the youngest was freaking out of her ever loving mind about a gnat. Yes, a gnat, that supposedly must have been the scariest, meanest, baby eating gnat you ever did see because , god bless her little bitty heart, she screamed bloody murder for at least 3 hours of the trip.Oh, the humanity! So, to sum it up, my 4 year old is wondering if we are there yet, every single second of every single minute we were on the road, my 2 year old is being terrorized by a gnat and screaming so highly pitched, that all the dogs of the world were seeking her out to eat her and end the misery, I am at the brink of insanity on the verge of losing the battle and my poor beloved husband is trying to plot his course to the nearest gunsmith to rent a gun and buy a bullet.
Then I pull out my bag of tricks because obviously the 1200 DVDs that I brought are not holding their attention. First , we color ( you know those Wonder Crayola colors that magically appear on the special paper but nothing else..that’s what you think, but that’s another story entirely), then we color the glittery ones, then we color My little Pony. We sing, only the songs that they know so we had Bella’s favorites, “Twinkle ,Twinkle” and “Mary had a little Lamb” and Gabi’s favorites “Happy Burtday to you!” and ” Five, Five DOlla..Five Dolla foot long!” Yes, my 2 year old is obsessed with the Subway commercial jingle. Have you any idea how many times they play that thing? I do , because she sings it incessantly. Don’t get me wrong, in the right context, it is absolutely adorable. She is the cutest thing that has ever walked this earth, besides her sister, of course, but everything in moderation. Interrupted only by the “Are we there yet?” inquiry of her sister. OK, so brink of insanity on way to gun shop, we stop at lunch and we try and let them stretch there legs at some wayward Wendy’s in West Virginia. Not my idea, have you seen Wrong Turn?
We get lunch, they have ants in their pants and can’t keep still. We get the food, the chicken flavored whatsamanuggets are not done, still doughy,”EWWWW, gross”, as my daughter like to say. I return them. We wait, I return with nuggets, all is good in the land.
Road Tripping with Toddlers is Hell on Wheels
A ‘fly” dares to descend upon the table. All hell breaks lose. Toddlers jumping everywhere, screaming, crying, running away in terror. I did mention it was a fly and not Godzilla, right? Not a horsefly, just a regular old house fly! In true fix the situation fast fashion, I take off my flip flop and the untimely death of one unsuspecting fly ensues. All is good in the land, and then Gabs, because all of the attention we just received was apparently not enough for her, screams, at the absolute top of her lungs “EWWWW, FAARTED.Stinks”. Absolutely, mortified , I say ” OK, honey, it’s OK.” Then I realize, amongst all of the commotion, she did not have any kind of flatulation incident. Apparently, she just thinks it’s funny and likes to take credit for such occurrence. She is really better than the dog. This is a quirk I am hoping she outgrows.
Bella, my older one starts asking, “Mom, what are we going to do on our vacation?” I say, because I am out of the car and somewhat rational and overly sweet because I am trying to gain redemption from being “Crazy Mommy” from in the car,
“Well, sweetie.we’ll look around the town and eat out, maybe go to Busch Gardens, and we will take you girls to the pool at the hotel.” She look at me with wide eyes,” Even you, Mommy?”
First lets put this into context, I am a Mommy in my mid 30’s, I am a little over weight and a little out of shape, and I hate swimsuits with a passion. I have since I was a teenager. It’s like a taunting suit, it takes every possible flaw you can possibly have and flaunts it to the discriminating eyes of the world. But I do occasionally wear these horrible contraptions to play with my children and because I am determined not to pass my body issues on to them. In response to my daughter, I say “yes, sweetie, even Mommy.” I look at my husband and say ” What the heck, I don’t know any of these people.I’m going swimming!” To which my daughter responds in her most defiant voice “Yeah,I don’t know these people either, so I’m going swimming too!”
How funny, she has no idea about the context but dammit, she’s going swimming!! I’m still in the throes of this mini vacation that teeters between heaven and hell, I’ll post more when we all arrive safely at home, by passing any and all asylums and gun shops…save for that poor Godzilla fly at the Wrong Turn Wendys. The only thing more difficult than Road Tripping with Toddlers is road tripping with TWO toddlers.
How have you survived road tripping with toddlers?
Road Tripping with toddlers Only the Strong need Apply
Photo Credit
2009/06/01
Wanted: Boundaries for Desperate Stay at Home Daddy
I’ve noticed that with Bella starting kindergarten, my life has devolved into hectic chaos stuck into one little box and I feel like we are bouncing off the walls within our caged existence.For example, we go to church at St. So and so, and we go to school at Saint So and so, too. We go to the city ballet and it happens to be downtown , located a few blocks from Saint so and so.You see where I am going with this. My world has just gotten exponentially smaller.I’m not sure if I like it or not. It’s quaint but it’s pretty much like shitting where you eat, n’est-ce pas?
This was never more obvious than when I ran into the local Stay at home Daddy. Now, I know its a rare breed but they do exist. I have proof.This particular Daddy happens to be the Daddy of my Bella’s favorite little friend in her kindergarten class, of the female pursuasion (Y’all remember Bill*? My friend Bill*, Do you know my friend Bill*, Bill*, Bill*, Bill*!), Nora*.Who also happens to be in the Nutcracker with her, as a snowflake, so we also get to see her at rehearsals and mass.Which means I get to see Stay at Home Daddy on a regular basis.
When I first met him, he seemed harmless enough. But he always has this Vaseline smile that looks as if he’s been throwing back Prozac like tactics and to be honest, now..he kind of frightens me. Plus I’m a little jealous, where’s my frigging Prozac? The first day I met him, he came right over. Which I found quite bizarre because it was before we realized the girls even knew one another.But he made a b line for me none the less, and I’m basically stuck having conversations with 5 and unders, 24/7 so any adult conversation was a welcome reprieve. Within the first 5 minutes, he had told me the names and ages of all three of his children (6,5,3, in case you were wondering), his name,why he was a stay at home dad, that he was a stay at home dad,where he was from, why he was here, where he lived, where his kids went to school, what his wife did and where she did it. Obviously, he has not read the Stay at Home Mommy handbook and doesn’t realize he is giving away way too much information.Jesus, I could have been some crazy baby snatcher and came and stolen his children.Hell, he practically gave me their address. I was blown away from all the information. I was on sensory overload and felt as if my personal space had been greatly invaded. At the same time, I felt a little sorry for him. I know how it feels to be surrounded by little people all day and wish you had an adult to bounce your sanity off of once in awhile. I know that I am guilty of a little verbal diarrhea myself. Whenever I get around other adults after being cooped up for prolonged periods of time with just Bella and Gabs, I lose all control of my good senses and my filter is completely off. So, I DO understand. Especially, when he told me that his wife is gone from 7 am until 9 pm and she sees the children maybe twice during the work week.I know how that feels.It sucks!
Then the following morning I saw him at Saint So and So drop off. He had that nervous grin and once again recited all of his facts like the Gettysburg address. Had he forgotten who I was since the previous night at rehearsal? Could it be that he is so scatter brained (mommy brain on crack) that he had forgotten so quickly? Once again he told me all of his stats and once again, he told me about his wife and how she abandons him all day long with the children.How he is responsible for everything! Everything! Can you imagine?I just stood there and shook my head in agreement.
The following week at ballet, once again he came up to me and started his spiel.I couldn’t take it again. I very politely shook my head and said ,”Yes, I know.” Him: “Oh yeah,you’re Bella’s mother” I’m thinking, Oh yeah Buddy, I’m on to you.Go peddle your snake oil somewhere else.I’ve already got all the information I need. Then I thought, oh shit, do I do that? Am I the crazy Stay at Home Mommy that people cringe when they see me coming because they know I am going to talk their ears right off their ever loving heads? Poor guy.Makes me wonder? Are men built for this Stay at Home gig? I’m not saying they can’t do it because I am sure they are capable.I am asking should they be doing it for their sanity’s sake? I mean us Mommies are the direct result of centuries of birthing/parenting evolution.You can’t just walk in off the streets and have these kinds of coping skills. This man seems really stretched beyond all of his capacities. Plus, all the “support” groups are for Mommies. There is no co-ed play groups or “mom” groups. It’s no wonder that he can’t shut up.He’s starved for attention and adult conversation.But I swear to God, if I have to hear about his hardest working wife one more time..I’m going to punch him square in the gullet.He should realize, since he’s home and half crazy from taking care of kids ( I use that term loosely, these poor children look like little ragamuffins but hey, His wife’s a professor) that being a ~~Stuck~~ Stay at Home is pretty damn hard work too. Moral of the story, “A” for effort Mr.SAHD but maybe try and cut back on the verbal diarrhea and space invading.Happy Mothering, Mister.
Do you know any Stay at Home Dads? How do you think they fair compared to their female counterparts? Or are we all just equally insane from being cooped up for hours on end with the little people?
2010/10/14
Motherhood~ Misery peppered with Moments of Profound Bliss
Today, reaffirmed my definition of motherhood…Misery peppered with moments of profound Bliss. It was Mother’s Day and my husband and the girls agreed to let me sleep in.*Bliss.
I woke up at 8 am when the Big Guy walked into our bedroom, apparently the girls had woken up 3 times during the night and refused to bother me because it was Mother’s Day. So, the Big Guy was up all night with them, fell asleep at the end of their full sized bed curled up like a little dog. The exception being that he is not a tiny dog, he is a full grown, 6’5″ man. Can you say crick in the neck. He laid down, I woke up. He slept in til 1o and I got to listen to the girls fight over the 1 Barbie because the other 107 Barbies were not the ONE they both wanted to play with.*Misery
While he was sleeping in, I called my own Mom to wish her a happy Mother’s Day. The Big Guy woke up & decided to make my favorite breakfast, only the waffle maker is packed, we were out of the regular pancake mix and the kids nabbed all the bacon*misery But after he woke up, I walked into the kitchen and he had coffee made for me, just the way I like it.*Bliss
We’re having a showing next weekend so the yard needed to be mowed.My husband told me that I needed to take “pride” in my garden and go out there and pull the weeds *Effing misery (Mother’s DAY!!!) Homemade jewelry from the girls, accompanied by a list of all my great qualities and a hand drawn picture of how they see me and loads of kisses and hugs through out the day! *Bliss
Trying to brush Gabi’s hair after a long night of tossing and turning and her telling me 27 times that she hated me (ON MOTHER”S DAY) *Misery

A beautiful rose gold ring with a 2 carat amethyst surrounded by chocolate diamonds *Bliss

The Big Guy making a dinner of filet Mignon with mushrooms, lobster tail with butter sauce, fresh asparagus, and panzanella salad while I got to catch up on my DVRd shows *Bliss
The Big Guy having to leave Sunday night, leaving me with 2 sad little girls who cried for 3 hours straight, a sink full of dinner dishes and a dirty house that has to be shown in 4 days *Misery
Maybe I had it backwards, Motherhood~Bliss peppered with moments of profound misery!
Also, my official 2nd blog anniversary was Saturday and I almost missed it because we were celebrating the Big Guy’s birthday but never fear, I celebrated with a glass of Pinto Grigio and a sliver of Coconut cream pie!Do I know how to party or what? Hope you will all help me continue celebrating by stopping by and enjoying some of the amazing bloggers that will guest posting this month.

Today, I am hosting the Mother’s Day May Blog Tour 2011! Instead of celebrating moms for just one day this month, we’re celebrating them all month long with a blog tour! There are some really amazing bloggers on this thing, so be sure and follow along. Tomorrow’s featured blogger on the tour is Ani.
2011/05/09
Truthful Mommyisms
I can’t remember exactly how or when I met the lovely Alexandra, the voice of Good Day Regular People. I do know that she is like the big sister that I never had. She is a wonderful woman who writes a very smart, funny, entertaining and honest blog. I love reading her because for me, she is very relate-able. We share a common thread, we are both Latinas and Mothers. But her pieces are more than just that, they are the voices of Motherhood that transcend race, religion,creed, or station in life. If you are not already a follower of Alexandra, I hope that you will be. Not only is she an amazing supporter for her bloggy friends, she truly does celebrate her fellow women and she is full of maternal wisdom.I am honored to have her here today sharing her very tender and intimate truth about motherhood. She is one of the bravest women I know.I know that once you read her, you will hold her in as high a regard as I do. Thank You Alexandra for sharing your story. XO, Debi

Since I can remember, I have wanted to be a mother.

To have my own babies, and have a laundry basketful of little bitty socks and soft, cotton onesies to fold.

When I was five years old, I confessed to my grandmother, “Abuela, I can’t wait to have my own children.” Her response to me was, “God waits to send the perfect children just for you.” I smiled at the thought of what precious baby God would choose for me. I imagined having a little girl, full of curls and large, dark eyes, all legs kicking and joyful giggling.

I knew I would be a perfect mother, for that perfect baby. I would be the best mother there ever was. I would be loving, patient, full of kisses and good nature and never without a smile on my face and laughter in my voice. I would be a dream mom.

As time went on, my baby fever never wained. And the longer life had me wait for that perfect baby, the more precise the vision of what type of mother I would be, became. With every year that my biological clock ticked on, the more mature and wisened I imagined myself in the role of a lifetime: that of a mother.

I was growing impatient, and frankly, scared, when I was approaching 35 years old, and still without that one baby. That baby that my life felt empty without. That baby that would bring me all the happiness I felt I was missing. That baby that would make my life perfect. I knew that when that baby came, the heavens would open and a chorus of angels would sing, and I would be happy, fulfilled, and never experience any sort of sadness or negative feeling for the rest of my life.

Just five months short of my 36th birthday, I finally had that golden, much awaited, baby. The one that would bring me all the joy I knew would come with finally being a mother. All I had dreamed of was finally, here, in my arms.

What wasn’t part of my life’s dream, however, was the shock of the feelings I was having after the birth of this baby.

I was scared. I was in pain. I was confused and panicked. I was oh so very tired. And I had a baby that wasn’t crying, but screaming and inconsolable, painfully latching on to engorged breasts.

I burst into tears. This was the moment I had been waiting for my entire life? This?

What was wrong with me? I should be up and dancing and calling people on the phone, joyfully. Not laying here, in this hospital bed, hooked up to an I.V., with tears streaming down my face, holding a baby that I knew could read my mind that said, “I’m too scared to be your mama.”

I kept all these feelings to myself, I was so full of shame. I never heard of anyone crying with unhappiness when their baby was born. And especially me. Everyone in my life knew that all I ever wanted, was to have my own baby.

Fortunately, my Dr. was astute enough to know this was not a case of baby blues lite. She had me in her office by Day 5 of my beautiful boy being born.

She sent me to a Post Partum Depression specialist. My wonderful Dr. would call me at home, to see how I was doing. She located a PPD support group for me. She even called my husband and told him how important it was that he be home with me.

Was this the way I imagined the birth of my life long awaited first baby to be? No. It so sadly wasn’t.

This first baby is now 16 years old. But, the memory of his birth is a vivid, visceral one.

I have worked hard, through therapy, to forgive myself for not welcoming his coming into the world with joy. I have had to forgive myself.

The Truthful Mommyism that I’ve had to learn, is that I’m not perfect, but that does not make me any less of the perfect mother for my children. I am who I am, battle scars and all, and I’ve learned that facing and working through the challenges that life has sent my way, has made me see myself as a strong, brave, determined woman. When my first child was born, not only did I have a newborn to take care of, but I did it with PPD, temporarily broken dreams, and, at the time, disappointment in myself.

I did it, I survived, and I am proud to say, that I am proud of myself.
2011/05/10
Mother’s Day Gift Guide for Moms who Love Tech
Mother’s Day is right around the corner and as we all know, every mother like every child, is a snowflake and picking just the right gift can be a daunting task if you forget that the only thing moms really want is something from the heart. That’s all it takes to make any of us happy really.
But if your mom is a techie, like myself, there may be some things that might make her high tech heart smile just a little wider than say a crockpot. But hey, if mom’s in to easy to make, on the go crockpot dinners, a new crockpot might be the best gift ever. Me, I prefer tech.
Here is a list of some of the hottest tech gifts this Mother’s Day:
The Huawei watch
The Huawei Watch Jewel & Elegant is at the top of my list. It’s inspired by the timeless style of feminine beauty. It’s elegant form complimented by smart technology, seamlessly blends in full functionality with flair. It’s more sophisticated and beautiful than the competition and can be outfitted in a number of different styles. It’s all the beauty of a fine timepiece and all the function of a high-end smart watch.
Powered by Android wear, the Huawei Watch makes keeping active and reaching your health goals effortless. A high-accuracy motion sensor keeps track of your activity and knows when you are walking, running or climbing.
Then if you are buying a Fitbit, make sure you look at the waterproof Fitbit models as it’s much better to have it waterproof than not.

The Qardio Base Smart Scale & Body Analyzer
Now, I wouldn’t normally put a scale on a Mother’s Day gift guide but I have to say, I have one and it really is one of my favorite things. The Qardio Base is a smart scale that provides weight and full body composition feedback. It works with an app and provides your weight, BMI and fat percentage. Multiple users can use it and there is even a pregnancy mode that accounts for expectant moms.
Want to know if you’re burning fat and gaining muscle? Or whether you’re actually losing weight not just water? Qardio Base smart scale makes it possible.
It allows you to set your goals and track your progress with clever charts & graphs and it even has a pregnancy mode. It’s the first scale that let’s mom know her body, not just her weight and that makes a difference.

Panasonic Lumix ZS100
Whether the mom in your life is an enthusiast or full-auto photographer, the ZS100 delivers the upgrade in image quality a 1-inch sensor affords with just enough zoom lens for a lot of framing flexibility and the capability to be sufficiently fast enough to capture kids and pets in action. Plus the ZS100 supports 4K video for the sharpest video capture possible. It has everything the professional or novice photographer mom could ever want.
Shield TV
Shield TV is a top-of-the-line Android streaming device from NVIDIA. From its sleek, angular design and the world’s largest app ecosystem to exceptional speed (34x faster) and 4k resolution – Shield TV is packed with ultra-modern features to deliver the ultimate entertainment experience by centralizing your favorite shows, movies, games, music and more in one place. With options for all ages – from PBS Kids to ESPN – and the ultimate Android gaming platform, Shield is the must-have travel essential for family trips.
With amazing Google voice capabilities and microphone-equipped remote, you can now find exactly what you want on Netflix or YouTube without seemingly endless clicks as you scroll through libraries. This means mom can pull up her favorite titles, instantly and virtually hands-free. No matter what she’s doing.

Olloclip 4-in-1 lens system
Portability, great quality and ease of use, the Olloclip 4-in-1 lens system has it all. It delivers the best-looking images. Your mom the smartphone photographer will get a fisheye, wide-angle and two macro lenses using a mount that works with both front and rear cameras of Apple’s two newest smartphones. All of this comes in a kit that offers great image quality while still being easy to carry. The system takes just a second to attach to her phone and stows away neatly in a pocket or bag using the included cloth pouch.

Moleskine Smart Writing Set
The Moleskine Smart Writing Set may be one of my favorite things ever. It is a 3-part system that includes a Paper Tablet, a Pen+ and the free Moleskine Notes iOS app. This system allows mom to turn anything she writes on the tablet into a digital file. No scanning required.
The Pen+ and its built-in camera picks up the code embedded in the pages of the Paper Tablet and uploads it to the Notes app. It is the perfect gift for moms like me who still like to take written notes. What can I say? I’m old school and I like tangible.
These gifts are sure to make the tech-loving mom in your life smile. I know they’d make my techy heart happy.
What’s at the top of your Mother’s Day wish list this year?
Disclosure: Some of these gifts on this Mother’s Day gift guide were provided to me for review purposes but all opinions are my own.
2016/04/27
Proper Playdate Etiquette Protocol for Toddlers and their Moms
Are you a playdate pro or are you a new mom just dipping her toe in the playdate pond? Either way, learning all the rules and regulations for playdates as a new mom is about as easy as patting your head and rubbing your belly while reciting the lyrics to Baby Shark backwards. And almost as annoying. Makes me wonder what is proper playdate etiquette protocol for toddlers and their moms? What if my child doesn’t make friends? These are the things I used to stay up at nights worrying about when the girls were small but I’ve learned some things along the way and I think they could be helpful to you. If your children do have trouble getting along with other children, then you could consult with a doctor about childhood social disorder treatment to see if it’s right for your little ones.
I remember once having a wonderful playdate ( well, Bella and Gabs were having the playdate while I enjoyed my time hanging out with the kid’s mom, my “mom friend”)let’s just call it a family play date. If we’re being 100% honest, those playdates were as much for me as they were for the girls I loved having those women to talk to, share with and bond with over our mommy war stories. The struggle is real in the mommyhood.
But in those moments, I was still left wondering, what is the appropriate duration of a playdate for children ages 2 to 5-years-old? What the hell is proper playdate protocol? How do you let them know when it’s time to go home without offending anyone?
READ ALSO: Play Date Break Up
Seriously, I’ve been hosting playdates since 2006. In the beginning, they lasted anywhere from a half hour, that seemed like an eternity, to a cool 5 hours that never seemed like quite enough time together. I’ve attended playdates where I couldn’t stop checking my phone and biding my time until I could leave. Other times, I could have stayed longer because the kids were having fun and the conversation and coffee were flowing. Do you know what I am talking about? We’ve all been there.
Other times you find yourself, sitting there, watching the clock, thinking to yourself, can I leave now without looking like a giant a**hole (quietly wishing your head would explode like in Scanners)? It all really depends on the company and the activity. But really, there has to be some kind of etiquette to this; some sort of method to all the madness. If not, chaos would break out. Moms would be walking out mid-sentence once they start hearing something they didn’t like; others would become squatters and it shouldn’t be that hard. It’s like real dating.
We need rules; proper Playdate Etiquette Protocol for Toddlers and their Moms
I’m lucky, I’ve been doing this Mommy gig long enough to have a really great group of Mommies kids that we have playdates with. Most of our playdates were, seriously, 2-5 hours in duration (so awesome how well my girls slept on those nights). But other days, no matter how many crafts or jungle gyms you had, the date was just a dud.
Sometimes we’d hit the zoo, sometimes we’d watch a kids movie, sometimes we’d have coffee and the kids played dress up and put on shows, sometimes it was a combo and lunch. The adorable videos that I could post on InstaStories could give the cat videos a run for their money.
READ ALSO: Play Dates What Every New Mom Needs to Know
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt the need to flee the scene of a playdate going to hell in a handbasket but I know they’re out there. My girls are now old enough, to host playdates without parental supervision but I won’t lie, sometimes I miss it. I don’t get to see my mom friends like I used to because now, everyone has extracurricular activities and more than one kid and no one has time for coffee and lingering conversation or wine and kids dressing up. Now, we have to find time to get together ourselves and it’s much harder than it sounds so cherish these toddler playdates. Here’s a little help.
Proper Playdate Etiquette Protocol for Toddlers and their Moms
1. Parents should always stay with their child if they are preschooler age and under.
2. For the first playdate with someone you haven’t had playdates with before, I recommend setting a time limit of 1 hour.
3. After the initial playdate, if you like the mom and kid and everyone gets along, set a strict time i.e. 10 am-noon. The best guideline is 1.5-2 hours that doesn’t interfere with naptime.
4. Parents should always pack snacks for their own children. As a playdate hostess, I’ve always provided appropriate snacks and drinks.
5. Elementary school-aged children are a little different, ask the hosting parent if they want you to stay or go. Around fifth grade, you can safely assume that you will not be part of your child’s playdate.
6. When kids are elementary school aged, you need to relinquish control a little bit. This starts with snacks. Let the parents know if your child has any food allergies and if they have any pet allergies since you won’t be there.
7. Once they are in high school, you just need to provide your children with the upbringing and the trust to make good choices and a cellphone so that you can keep in touch. Duration of “playdates” can last from a few hours to a few days. When I was a teenager, my best friend spent the night at my house almost every day of the week.
These are just a few pointers for proper playdate etiquette for toddlers and their moms. What is your favorite pointer for hosting playdates?

3/04/10
2019/03/18
My Daughter Turned 18 and Graduated – Now What?
Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
Happy Throat Punch Thursday to all who celebrate (shhh! I know there’s a lot of you.I saw your DMs)! I’m here to announce that Throat Punch Thursday is coming back, baby! This Maycember shit is for the birds and personally, I’m glad it’s just about over. But, bitches I was harshly and disrespectfully scathed. The past week has been a gut punch to my mama heart and that was hard but expected. But, ladies, the last 24 hours feels like the universe punched me in my throat. By the way, I can tell you from my perspective, I’d prefer to go through my mom life transition without the side of empty nest syndrome. Anyways, now that my very important PSA is out of the way, I’ve got even bigger news.
June is for new beginnings and I’m rebranding. Not the SOSDD (same old shit, different day) superficial update. I’m reinventing the blog ( mine, not the concept).
Sadly, as of 8:38 PM on Wednesday, May 21st, in the year of our Lord and Savior 2025 I can no longer officially hold my title of “mom to a child”. She is de facto an adult.
GASP* ( I fucking hate it here sometimes)
Go ahead and be shocked. I am. I might throw up. Maybe I already did. Maybe that was the Mounjaro. Maybe it’s my allergies. Maybe it’s my Sunday Sads on a random Throat Punch Thursday. Girl, maybe it’s Maybelline. I don’t know. I just know that my eyes have been leaking a lot lately.
My baby girl, Gabs, turned 18-years-old (tbh, in a Latina household “adulthood” doesn’t mean anything but more responsibility. We’re not so good with the “letting go” parts of parenthood and forget about this whole empty nest syndrome shit. I’m not about it -training wheels, rememba? In fact, as a culture, we welcome our kids to live with us for as long as they want so…girls, you have it here in writing. If this is what empty nest syndrome is all about- that’s a hard fuckin pass. I tried it. I’m not sure I like it. I prefer to think of it as launching adult children. I’ve always been a training wheels mom but I feel my inner launch pad mom begrudgingly making her way to the front.
Then, on May 23rd, just to make the point crystal clear, she had the friggin ( why do I always imagine myself to sound like Joe Pesci in My Cousin Vinny when I say that word) AUDACITY to graduate from high school (that’s a different post for another day when I can get my shit together long enough to not be a verklempt cry baby. For now, I’m just going to bite my lip, turn my trauma into comedy gold and vagina the fuck up! YEEHAW Mothafuckas!)
Yeah, I said “AUDACITY” ( I also said a lot of other out of pocket words in the previous sentence..oopsie #NSFW). Guess what else? All of this motherhood business is going too fast and I’m not ready for retirement so I’m gonna do what every ADHD woman, man and child knows to do….
PIIVVVOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!! (IYKYK)
I’m not going to give away all the goodies right here, right now…you know I’m a blog tease. J/K I’m a little touchy feely at times but I’m no tease. I always deliver with my whole ass in it.
My children and I were raised right here, on this blog. They grew up. I evolved from a brand spanking new wife and “mommy” into this seasoned warrior mama bruh bear. I don’t often wear a cape but when it comes to my girls, there’s not much I can’t or won’t do. Leap tall buildings, lift semis, do TikToks in matching pajamas ( in public ) just because they wanted to. Y’all didn’t think I was just born a (neuro) spicy, Latina Trad wife from Chicago, did you?
I feel like I’ve graduated to the next level of motherhood. You guys, I raised really good human beings and I am no longer “mommy” on most days. I’m so proud of who my girls are becoming and more importantly, they are chasing their dreams.
Let me reintroduce you to myself, “ Hi, my name is Brah”, ( my girls think that joke is UBER funny because 1. They made it up. 2. This one time a cast member at Disney World asked me “Why do they call all Deborah’s Deb? Why not just Brah?” Cue hysterical tween laughter and here we are years later, left behind – like the discarded “brah” I am.
Let’s just say we’re going to be The TRUTH about Motherhood 2.0 Life perspective through mom goggles from conception to college and beyond. Because, ladies, ( come in closer so you can hear this) its. Not.just.about.them! YOU MATTER TOO! This is going to be my ME Era.
What does that mean for the blog? We’re shifting towards sharing more about where we are now ( a mother fucking motherhood cross roads, in case you’re wondering.) Who am I? Where am I? What in the ever loving shit am I supposed to do with all this motherhood to give and no “children” who need mothered?
It feels like I’ve been sent to the benches— by my own kids, no less ( the fruit of my womb). Retired. Expired.
What am I supposed to do with all of this fucking “me” time? I haven’t had “me” time since 2005! Wait, no, that’s wrong. I haven’t had “Me time” since that 1 month in 1997 when I was single and lived alone.
ONE WHOLE MONTH.
This is my mom life transition and I’ve chosen growth and evolution because apparently, revolting is frowned upon. Unfortunately, that may be easier said than done because I don’t believe that my ADHD brain was built for boredom ( or letting go). I wish people would stop talking to me about empty nest syndrome. Hopefully, my object permanence swoops in and saves the day.
Ladies, we’re still young. I’ve got at least 53 more lives to live. I need a new purpose and to get back to ME ( the unfiltered original — yes, believe it or not, I have been using my inside voice all of these years) the woman I was before the Big Guy and our girls came along. Where the fawk is she? What happened to her? Did I leave her at Purdue? Maybe I lost her somewhere on vacation? Nope, I’m still here buried beneath the rubble of years of martyrdom and servitude.
I set the bar so high for myself in everything I did in life that I only ever felt like I was failing. I realize now that I wasn’t failing; I was doing my best ( and according to my husband, that’s better than most).
It only took 26 years of marriage, 20 years of motherhood, perimenopause, my impending induction into the “coolest mom ever”( according to my teenager who wanted Starbys) parenting hall of shame, zero fucks left to be given and my headfirst deep dive into my dreaded season of letting go.
I can see the headlines now, “Training Wheels Mom Exchanges Her Wheels for a Launching Pad, Dies in the Process”
Oopsie, I guess today’s Throat Punch Thursday post will be going live later today. Stay tuned. And, now that I’m back, remember to subscribe for more straight up truths about navigating this next beautiful season of motherhood/ womanhood/sisterhood. Time to step into our power, bruh! We ride at dawn.
2025/05/29
How Mom 2.0 Summit Renewed my Faith in Blogging and Myself
Today is my 9^th blogging anniversary. I can’t believe the TRUTH about Motherhood was started when my baby was only 1-year-old. Where did the time go? Seems like just yesterday that I was writing under the pseudonym Truthful Mommy and you were all my lifeline. I wrote the stories but you guys were definitely my phone a friend. Thank you for being on this fantastic journey with me.
I’m just back from the Mom 2.0 Summit and still really high on all the energy and people that I just spent the last week soaking in. I networked with a lot of solid brands that I love and are a good organic fit for me. I got to rub elbows with the likes of Kristen Bell, Debbie Allen and Brene Brown. I learned so much at the most amazing sessions. Even after almost a decade of blogging, I am still learning. Most importantly, I had the opportunity to connect and reconnect with all my friends who live in my computer.
If you’re a blogger, you know exactly what I mean. If you are not and you actually get out in the world at a time in history when most of us communicate through our tech devices, bravo for you because you are one of the lucky ones. The thing is I’ve made friends who’ve virtually held my hands through some of the toughest and happiest moments of my life and we’ve never met face to face. Things get lost in translation when you are communicating online. There is no tone.
READ ALSO: This Blogger’s Life, Vera Sweeney
However, when you meet someone that’s been there for you and vice versa for almost a decade the transition is almost seamless. I got to meet some friends for the first time ever. I got to hug people who I haven’t seen in at least a year and some even longer (too many to mention but you know who you are and I love you all so much) and I finally got to meet a couple of my blogging heroes, women who write from the heart and put it all on the line.
I met quite a few new bloggers who I’d never read before but now I will because of the amazing conversations we had in the hallways, elevators, the pub and restrooms. I have to say, the IRL interactions with all of these women are what blogging is all about. I even finally got to drive the KIA Stinger and I may, or may not, have gotten In & Out.
But one of the most unexpected exchanges that happened at Mom 2.0 Summit came out of nowhere and bowled me over. It came from one of my former editors and it was as unexpected as a blow to the head at a church service.
As a writer sometimes (a lot of the time) it feels like you are sending your thoughts out into the abyss. You are never quite sure anyone is reading and if they are, you often wonder are they actually seeing you; understanding the meaning of the words you are writing. Sometimes I feel like I’m writing in a foreign language.
For me, writing is fulfilling on a deeper level than most other things and it is truly how I process life. It’s my medium and when you open your soul and share your story, you hope that someone (anyone) is reading and it means something to them. In a lot of ways writing is like motherhood, it is beautiful and soul filling but at the same time, it is often thankless.
I spend most of the time feeling like a failure at what I do and the other half feeling like an imposter. Since people have stopped commenting on blogs like they used to, it really feels like I am shouting out into the nothingness. Some days I wonder why I’m doing this. Then, I remember it is not about other people, it’s about getting my thoughts down and preserving these moments for my daughters. Still, it’s always nice to feel like your words helped someone, even if it is just by making them laugh or giving them the solace of knowing they are not alone.
The thing is this editor came up to me during the party after the IRIS awards. I was standing there in a room full of winners feeling like a giant loser. I was tired and jetlagged and was seriously considering sneaking away but I stayed because the only thing worse than Imposter syndrome is FOMO. I often feel like I need to make my exit before I’m revealed as the imposter that I am.
Anyways, this woman who is a phenomenal editor (who edits amazing writers every day) came up to me and told me that it was a privilege and honor to have edited my stories. How these are the moments that made her work feel worthwhile. I was stunned.
She said more but I don’t remember the exact words as I was crying like a baby next to the dance floor because her words moved me. In those few moments, she validated me and made me feel like I was heard and I belonged. I don’t know if she knew how much her words meant to me. I’m not sure that she can.
I tried to convey it, as I stood there with my face melting off as I cried through my contouring but words seemed too small when such a big gesture had been made.
You see, for the past year, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by the backend of blogging. I think many of us are. All that I’ve ever wanted to do was write. Write my stories free of worry about all the things like SEO, keywords, traffic, meta tags, understanding google analytics, pinning to win, facebooking to reach the masses, having the perfect cohesive Instagram, posting at the right times on the right days and writing for the right audience.
I want to write but blogging is my business and to have the honor of doing what I love, I have to learn to do a whole lot of other things that are out of my wheelhouse. This often leaves me feeling like I am on the outside looking in because in the blogging world, traffic equals jobs. Numbers equal traffic not always considering engagement so where does that leave me? Content is no longer king, it is the queen and SEO is the King and I feel like while the queen and I are besties, the King doesn’t much care for me.
I guess the point that I’m trying to make is that after 9 years, when I was tired and feeling like giving up, feeling like the biggest imposter on the Internet, I went to this Mom 2.0 Summit and I heard all the right things from all the right people. My heart was full. My soul set on fire and my mind could clearly see the direction I need to go. I’m not quitting, I’m rebooting. I’m going back to what I love… writing from the heart.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still trying to understand the business side of all of it. I have to, it’s irresponsible not to but I’m not letting myself get overwhelmed by it. Blogging is my passion and sharing my stories with you is what fuels my soul. If just one person gets something out of my words, it is all worth it.
Hearing her words reminded me that you never know where your words are landing and how they are touching others. I’m not an imposter, I am a writer and my words deserve to be read just as much as I deserve to belong. I can’t be on the outside looking in because I am the protagonist in my story.
Here’s to being lucky enough to be writing for you in another 9 years. Thank you for reading my stories and sharing yours with me.
Here’s to many more Blogging Anniversary
2018/05/07
Project Mom Casting Call; The Truth the whole truth and Nothing but the TRUTH!
I am Debi, I am a truthful Mommy. I am a 30 something Mommy, lucky enough to be married to my best friend and have 2 daughters whom I adore, most of the time. The last couple of years have been crazy for us with the economy. My husband has been downsized three times and we have moved twice and are about to move again. I’ve been single Mommying it during the weekdays and that’s a new experience, as well. Not exactly what I signed up for when I said I do. I used to have a life, friends, and work outside the home but when we had our daughter, I knew that I wanted to be home with her. I am honest about the good and the bad, so other Mommies can come to realize that they are not alone in the difficulty assimilating into this role in life. None of the parenting books tell you the truth about mothering. They spin it all around and make it a fairy tale so when reality hits and we are in the trenches of real Mothering, we sometimes feel like absolute failures. I am here to let the world know that it is magical and on some days, it’s menial but it’s all worth it.
I have discovered firsthand through the rigorous initiation process of Motherhood that most Mommies are so afraid to fail that we lie about how great and easy it all is, which is helpful to absolutely no one. I’m here to stand up and say, it’s not! It’s hard, sometimes hellish work but the random “Me love you Mommy” s and little jelly covered arms choking you with love makes it tolerable and at moments, even sublime. Motherhood is hard and it’s boring at times. I AM your average Mommy~ working my ass off to give my girls the best possible childhood I can provide. It’s not easy and it involves a lot of regret and self doubt, almost continuously, but I’d never trade this experience for something different because to give up the chaos, I’d have to give up all the bliss; the little day-to-day miracles that I’d miss if I weren’t here to look for them. For example; the feeling you get when your eyes meet your breastfeeding babies in the middle of the night, or how a simple coo can erase an entire horrible day, the way your heart speeds up when you first see their heartbeat or hear their voice
I blog for many reasons. The most important reasons being; I love my family. I also have grown fond of my sanity and need an outlet for all of the frustration. It helps connect me to others at a time in my life, when it is easy not to be. My blog allows me a place to be Debi, not just Mommy. My dream would be to parlay what I am passionate about (my family /writing) into a voice in the world.

Project Mom Casting has an open casting call to mom bloggers. They’re looking to pitch a reality-based show about bloggers and the world of social media. If they like what I just said, I may be called for an interview.
If you’d like to give me some props, head over to the Project Mom Casting Facebook page and click “like” on my submission. Or, retweet this using @momcasting in your mention!

2010/07/26
The Greatest Mother’s Day Gift Ever
Moms will tell you they want nothing for Mother’s Day. Some will tell you that you are enough. Your cute little faces and your sticky little hands. She means it, for about an hour Mother’s Day morning while you are serving her breakfast in bed and handing her sweet homemade gifts. They really are the best Mother’s Day gifts of all; tiny handprints and papier Mache flowers made with love and baby spit add to it a sweetly scribbled I love you by your little one and you are mommy mush.
But that’s not what she really wants. What every mother wants for Mother’s Day is the day off. No cleaning. No dishes. No laundry. No cooking. No obligations.
Quite frankly, the best Mother’s Day gift is the day off from mom duty.
Don’t take it personally. It’s not you, it’s us. Just kidding, it’ you.
Being a mom is amazing. I love being a mom 364 days a year. Ok, maybe it’s more like 355 days a year but I need days off people. Even the janitor gets 2 days off a week.
But most moms are too afraid to say it out loud because they don’t want to offend anyone, least of all aforementioned children and the man who helped make this dream of motherhood come true. But if I’m being completely honest, and I am speaking on behalf of 99.9% of the moms (I know because I took an unofficial poll of moms drinking wine and dropping truth bombs) we all want the day off.
I want to sleep in until I wake up. Then by all means, please bring me a hot breakfast in bed with milky hot coffee. Spoiler alert, mommy does not like cold food. I never have, baby. To be honest, cold food is kind of disgusting. I’d rather not eat at all. I’ve been faking it for years.
I don’t want to do anything. I want no obligations. I want to move freely in the world with no one tethered to my side. I want to play the music I want to hear at the degree of loudness I want to listen to it and I want to dance without you looking at me like I’m a weirdo.
I want to watch whatever R rated movie or mind-numbing television I want to watch with no regard for what you want to do. I want to take a long, hot bath with no one knocking on the door or hearing bickering children. I want more out of life than an unlocked, half-open bathroom door where I take a semi-private timed race piss. I want privacy.
I want time to be able to fix my hair, put on my makeup, iron my clothes and get ready without having to be somewhere. I don’t want to get ready while you rush me because I need to taxi you someplace I never wanted to go in the first place. And no, your obnoxious friend who never shuts up and is entirely too loud cannot come over today. No child that hasn’t sprung from my vagina cannot be in my house on Mother’s Day. Go bother your own mom.
I don’t want to have to break up any sibling fights. Suffer the wrath of any rolling eyeballs or be subjected to listening to endless hours of you. On this one sacred day, can it please be about me? For the love of God, can I eat strawberry ice cream? You are probably wondering what the hell I mean by this.
It has come to my attention recently that my favorite ice cream is fresh strawberry ice cream. However, fresh strawberry ice cream will never be found in my house. Want to know why? Because my children don’t like strawberry ice cream and apparently, I live my life around their happiness and forget about my own. Well, not today suckers! I am eating strawberry ice cream while drinking vodka and watching a Fifty Shades of Gray marathon. Just kidding, no fucking way am I wasting my day off watching a movie whose book reads like it was written by an illiterate teenager.
Mostly, I want to have choices to do what I want to do, free of the influence of what everyone else around me wants to do. I think all moms deserve a day off to spend however they want to without guilt or retribution. If she wants to spend it with you, she’ll call you. You don’t have to call her.
I won’t lie, I am pretty lucky. The Big Guy figured me out around my 3rd Mother’s Day. He came in and said, don’t lift a finger. I’ll take care of everything. Take the day off. And that’s when I decided he’s never getting rid of me. We are lobsters. I’m never taking my claws off him. This man gets me.
So if you think taking mom to brunch and making her hang out with the kids all day is what mother’s day is all about, you have missed the memo. We get it. We’re moms. We do it every single day. If you want to make things special. Take the kids to the park or the movies and give mom time to relax and think, maybe catch up on her favorite binge-watching a show or take that long hot bath with her 80’s music blaring. Give her time to miss you and appreciate the kids. Hell, go crazy take them away for the weekend. Come back on Sunday for the celebration.
If you’re looking for something at a gift shop to give us and want to throw some chocolates and diamonds at us, or if you’re planning to pick up flowers from a florist, we don’t mind. Those are the cherries on top of motherhood. But what we really want is the day off to do what we want. Think of it this way dads, on Father’s day, you probably don’t spend the day at home being held, hostage. Most dad’s get the day to go golfing using this overhead mounted monitor like all men like to do without kids. Why is that? Because sometimes you just want to feel like a human and not just someone’s parent. Well, we moms…we feel the same way.
Don’t get me wrong, we love those little people we created (probably more than you, if we’re being honest. After all, we’ve been known to horde teeth and umbilical cords. Some of us have even sucked snot out of babies noses and masticated their food. (not me of course. I’d never do that to food. Besides babies don’t eat cucumbers 😉 ) The thing is all good things in moderation.
We will happily accept your gifts and your notes but know, what we really want is peace and permission to be ourselves; a day to exhale. I guess what I’m really trying to say is just give mom a lot of love and a little space this Mother’s Day.
But in all seriousness, be kind to all the moms you know; yours, the mother of your children, your friends who are pregnant and even those desperately struggling to become pregnant and especially those moms who have lost babies and those who have lost their moms. And really, be kind to your mom every day, once a year is not nearly enough to show ample affection for the woman who gave you life.
What’s the best Mother’s Day gift you ever received and what’s at the top of your list?
P.S. I Love you, mom.
! Happy Mother’s Day!
2018/05/11