Tonight is my first meeting as a member of our School Board. I’ve been a perpetual room mom for the past 6 years, for both girls; sometimes manning two parties at exactly the same time. Oh yes, I am doing it again this year because I am “that” mom. Anyways, at the end of last school year I decided that I wanted to be the change I wanted to see in the school and instead of just complaining about everything; I put my money where my mouth was. I did what any sane mother with too many obligations already would do, I went for the school board.
Anyways, this school year is going to be crazy for me. Maintaining two classrooms as room mom is hectic enough but add to it more obligations, I am in desperate need of some streamlining, organization and control; at the very least some organized chaos. We can’t afford another unfortunate “reply all” incident like the Halloween party of 2013 scandal. Thankfully, I was asked to try Monday Envelope.
Monday Envelope is an all in one group manager for any device that allows you, as a parent, PTA leader, room mom or Girl Scout troop leader (among many other things) to control and organize (streamline) all of your communications with all the people you need to be in contact with, at all the right times and at all the right places.
Parent involvement is crucial to the success of any school and a big part of that is effective communication. It is the perfect tool for the busy, on the go, involved mom. It means that this mom will never have to miss another out of uniform day again and that makes all of us happy! It’s everything, you never knew that you always wanted in organization.
Finally, I won’t have to worry about sending BCC emails from my address that trigger spam filters or worse CC everyone and the thread is 800 emails long and sometimes inappropriate. Refer to scandal of 2012. This allows everyone to be on the same page without the insane email tread. Tastes great; less filling.
The best part is that it is simple to use. Simple is my favorite word these days because with school back in session, my life has gotten exponentially more complicated with schedules and classes and meetings. It saves a ton of time that you can spend actually enjoying parenthood and these precious fleeting moments with your little ones. It frees up our time so that we can be engaged.
If you think this is a great option for your school, room mom, team mom, PTA president or girls scout mom friends have them check out Monday Envelop for themselves https://mondayenvelope.com/tell-your-group-leader/ .
This post was sponsored by WOMWomen.com on behalf of Monday Envelope. All opinions are my own.
Hey mama, let’s get real for a sec. That exhaustion you’ve been feeling? The short fuse, the cynicism, the desire to abandon ship and move to a remote island away from tiny humans? Girl, you’re burned. the. fuck. out. Mom burnout, it’s not a joke.
I get it, I really do. Motherhood, while incredible, is a marathon like no other. The relentless cycle of caring for kids, managing the household, maybe even clocking in at a 9-5…it’s enough to turn any woman into a brittle, hollowed-out husk just going through the motions.
But what if I told you there’s a way to pull yourself out of that dark pit of burnout before it swallows you whole? Spoiler alert: Self-care isn’t just a trendy buzzword. It’s a critical survival tactic for moms on the brink.
Now, now…before you roll your eyes and claim you “don’t have time for that,” hear me out. I’m about to drop some game-changing, mom-tested secrets for injecting those self-care habits into your life in tiny, sustainable ways. No luxurious spa weekends or Marie Kondo-level overhauls required.
The Bare Minimum, Maximum Impact Routine:
Become a Morning Person (Yeah, I Said It)
Those pre-kid wake-up calls might seem like fresh hell, but here’s the truth bomb: Waking up even 30-60 minutes before your little ones do ensures that you have a sliver of precious “me” time to myself. Read, journal, meditate (enjoy your coffee while it’s still hot) or even just get ready…do whatever soothes your soul before the morning chaos erupts.
Top Tip: Place your alarm across the room, so you’re forced to GET UP. Trust me, hitting snooze robs you of this sacred recharge window.
Schedule Your Mom Burnout Breaks
Working mom or stay-at-home, we all need periodic respites throughout the day to pause and catch our breath. Set recurring reminders to take 5-10 minute breaks: a quick walk ( or a 5K…whatever makes you happy) around the block, a warm beverage on the patio, or a solo dance party in the living room (this one doubles as cardio!).
The key is being ruthless about taking these “burnout breaks.” These momentary reprieves act as a reset, helping you avoid those meltdown moments of overwhelm.
Reclaim Your Shower
We’ve all had days where showers feel like monumental chores we don’t have bandwidth for. Except showering, when intentional, can be a micro self-care ritual!
Create a spa-like experience by upgrading with a loofah, body scrub, and luxe hair products. Turn on a timed water-resistant speaker and belt out anthems like you’re Taylor freakin’ Swift for 20 blissful minutes. Emerge anew, a rejuvenated, pruney ( experiencing substantially less mom burnout) goddess!
Get Horizontal
I’m orbiting closer to midlife, so downtime is precious. But whenever possible, I’ll drop onto my bed for 20-30 minutes and simply lay there, supine and sans responsibilities. I rarely am able to nap, but a night mask goes a long way to concealing that fact. They don’t need to know I’m awake. Think of it as a “do not disturb” sign.
Read, doze, or simply press the reset button. Little rituals like these, while small, have massive energizing effects to carry us through those burnout danger zones.
Happy Hour (The Mocktail Edition or not, you’re grown)
As an unwavering low tox enthusiast, I’ve sworn off hangovers as self-care. But mixing up delicious, whimsical cocktails is still my fix! These days I’m more into nootropics and adaptogens but whatever makes you happy.
Blend up mocktails with fresh juices, herbs, and bubbles for an effervescent happy hour experience. Or reserve wine glasses for refreshing aguas frescas. These tiny oases of tranquility will whisk you away, if only briefly, from the mom grind.
Listen, friend. I’m not here to preach about finding the glorified “life balance.” That mythical ideal is a toxic trap that just fuels our burnout cycles! We can have it all, just not all at the same time.
Instead, I’m offering you these micro self-care habits to ease the load incrementally. Do them regularly, or don’t do them at all. Self-care without guilt or pressure!
And from that point, everything shifts. We shed the frantic, all-consuming burnout haze and rediscover the joy in this wild ride of raising humans. We’re more present, patient, and emotionally replenished to show up boldy for our families.
That’s the truth, mama. So go ahead, put on your tough-but-needs-love mom blinders and commit to these bite-sized acts of self-preservation. I’m rooting for you!
*Disclosure: I received product and compensation for this post from Colgate Total Repair but all opinions are my own.
Life Hacks to help you feel and look beautiful even when you’re exhausted. One thing that I’ve learned from being a mom for 10 years is that, we cannot have it all. We can have a lot but not everything. What we need to learn to do is figure out what makes us happy and have that. For me, happiness is time spent with my daughters, not missing the moments, time with my husband just lingering and laughing through life’s minutia and working in a career that I love. I don’t ask for much.
Like you, the pursuit of my happiness keeps me crazy busy. I don’t have a lot of “me” time these days. It’s okay, I’ve figured out ways to still pamper and take care of myself even when time and deadlines have me in a crunch. I don’t believe that just because I’m busy means that I have to let myself go.
I’ll be the first to admit that there was a time when the girls were younger that I was living in yoga pant purgatory. It taught me a very valuable lesson, letting myself go never did me any favors. It made me feel less self confident and more vulnerable. I realized that when I go out in the world, I want to always put my best foot forward. You truly only do have one chance to make a first impression and once it’s made it’s a lot of work changing it.
I’m an educated, intelligent woman who believes that she can do anything but when I go out into the world with my yoga pants and ponytail, exhausted and defeated, that is all the general population sees. They don’t know or care that I was up all night with a pukey kid or that I haven’t truly slept through the night in 10 years. They just know that I look like I don’t care about myself and that makes them not care about me. It makes them underestimate me and, as harsh as it is, first impressions mean everything.
No time? That’s no excuse. You have to decide to make time for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. I know, easier said than done but done it must be. Ever wonder how some women have flawless skin, hair and faces and you and I look like we’ve been under slept, overfed, spent too much time in the sun or not enough and our pores are big enough to house small villages of children?
Here are a few tips on how to repair your self-confidence and make that best first impression:
Achy Back: As we get older, especially if our core is not what it once was, sometimes the back likes to go on the fritz when you do things like tying your shoes. Nothing will usurp your youth like being hunched over in pain. You can certainly go to the doctor and get prescribed all the muscle relaxers and painkillers or you can start working on strengthening your core in a preemptive strike. Also, stretching out before you get out of bed can save your back from fully seizing up. I am not a doctor, just a fellow sufferer of the affliction.
Dull Smile: They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. If that’s true, I feel like your smile is the front door to the kingdom. Smile is the first thing everyone who ever meets you will ever see. That’s why it’s important to take care of your dental health and visit your dentist regularly. If you don’t want to smile because you have misaligned teeth, consider getting it fixed at Infinity Smiles orthodontist glasgow. It may also be time for another teeth cleaning at the dental clinic.
My daily routine to take care of my teeth are using Colgate Total Daily Repair twice daily, floss my teeth, and brush them with Colgate 360 degrees Total Advanced Toothbrush with Floss-Tip Bristles. My mouth has never felt fresher, whiter or cleaner. My teeth look great and this makes me feel like I can greet the world with my best self. Hello world, hear me roar.
Damaged hair: The key to this is being preventative. Get regular trims to get rid of the damaged hair. Keep heat off your hair. If you must use heat, be sure to use a protectant. Keep chemicals away from your hair, especially chlorine and be sure to take care of your body.
Fine lines: Drink lots of water, wear sunscreen, moisturize religiously and wear big sunglasses. Of course, the earlier you start the more effectively this works. You may also try to squeeze in a trip to the med spa once in a while for a well-deserved day of relaxation and rejuvenation.
Cracked Heel skin: I found a trick that has worked for me. In fact, it’s the only thing that works for me. There is nothing over the counter that I’ve ever found to work as well on dry, cracked heels. It’s simple, first, take a warm shower. Then slather your feet with petroleum jelly, then cover with white cotton socks and wear overnight. You will be amazed at the difference it makes. My doctor told me this trick and now, I swear by it.
Dark circles: My favorite cure for dark circles under your eyes, aside from more sleep which is probably impossible (sorry, I was momentarily possessed by Captain Obvious) I love cold cucumber slices or cooled tea bags. They work.
What’s your top tip for looking and feeling better about yourself?
Becoming a mom is a privilege, just ask any mom but it is also exhausting and thankless and, did I mention, exhausting. Half the time you forget your own name because everyone refers to you as mom, mama, mommy or so-and-so’s (insert baby’s name here) mom.
If someone you love has become a mom for the first time, you probably want to give them a special gift to mark the occasion. A lot of gifts for new Moms are actually things for the baby. This can be helpful for Mom, but after a while, she might soon find she’s got more newborn baby stuff than she can use and feels as though her special occasion is more about the baby than herself. It can be lovely to give your new Mom loved one something that is purely for her, and not for her baby.
Jewelry
If the new Mom you know is someone very special to you, like your spouse, partner, sister, or best friend, you could give her a beautiful piece of keepsake jewelry. Jewelry to commemorate something so special will always be sentimental to her. You could buy something like a beautiful necklace, or even have something custom designed just for her to really make a statement. Choose a stone, with help from the James Allen review from Pricescope, and a setting, and you have something she’ll always treasure.
Gift Vouchers
Vouchers can be very good gifts as they give the receiver more choice. Think about what might be most appreciated by a busy, tired new Mom. You could give vouchers for their favorite local takeaway or food delivery service. Give vouchers for some pampering, whether it’s a pedicure or a full spa day. You could even make your own vouchers for things like an evening of babysitting, that she can cash in to have a date night with her spouse or an afternoon off to go shopping.
Subscriptions
A subscription gift could be for something practical and useful, or something more fun for her. If you know she’s struggling to find time to cook, gift a recipe box subscription service that can make cooking quicker and simpler. You could gift a subscription to her favorite magazine so she has something to read when she’s up doing late-night feeds. What about a subscription for a flower delivery so something pretty arrives every month for her?
Coffee
Disrupted nights mean a tired mom. A lot of new Moms drink a lot of coffee, although if she’s breastfeeding, you should double-check with her how much she is able to have. A gift of some posh coffee that’s eco-friendly and gourmet like Steeped Coffee, a pretty mug to drink it out of, or a to-go cup to put her coffee in when she takes the baby out in the stroller will all be well-received. You can find beautiful cups that have clever technology in them to keep your drink warm without needing to use a thermos cup in the house. These are perfect for new Moms who struggle to drink a whole cup of coffee before it gets cold.
At-home beauty and spa treatments
There is not a lot of free time when you have a newborn but that doesn’t mean that you don’t want to feel good and take care of yourself. Facemasks, at-home teeth whitening kits, lotions and serums, a foot spa or a great skincare system like Tarte’s Awake line, vegan and cruelty-free, is a favorite in our house.
Loungewear
As a new mom, clothing can often be decided by what can be put on quickest, is most comfortable, and is the cleanest. Make this easier for her by gifting her some stylish but comfortable loungewear. Comfortable leggings, yoga pants, or cardigans are all good choices.
As a mom, what is the number 1 thing that you’d want as a gift from family and friends?
Do you love brand name and designer clothing, accessories and shoes? Be honest, do you want them because you genuinely love them or is it more of a status symbol, like in middle school? Hey, I’m not belittling your “why”, I’m just asking. If we’re telling truths, and I usually am, brands matter to me. I don’t choose a product because you’ve slapped a fancy name like Versace, Prada, Dior or Gucci on it. But I do love these brands.
I don’t like it because my favorite celebrities rock it or some rapper is singing about it. BTW, no child should be rocking Gucci on the regular, though I was completely fine with mine rocking Burberry. Hey, a woman’s got to have her limits. The point is I like the quality behind the label. If you know me, you’ve probably heard me say, “I’d rather pay $200 or even $500 for a pair of jeans that I’ll wear every day than $50 for a pair that I’ll never wear because then I threw $50 in the trash.”
This is how I came to know the answer to the question, ” Are Gucci sunglasses worth the price tag?”
For me, the answer didn’t come right away. I love big, beautiful sunglasses. I collect them. They protect my eyes from the sun and they protect my face from wrinkles. I’ve been rocking sunglasses since before it was cool to do so. But other than a pair of Oakly sunglasses the Big Guy bought me back when we first started dating, I’ve never owned or paid more than $75 for sunglasses.
Once I became a mom, forget about it. For one, babies like to pull sunglasses off your face to see their mommy and throw those suckers to the ground. I can’t tell you how many pairs of beloved sunglasses were thrown to the pavement and scratched beyond repair. Sure, I tried to wear them but they were essentially making my blind. I resigned myself to the fact that I couldn’t have nice things (unless it was jewelry, bags or shoes) and there started my tenure as queen of the under $25 sunglasses. I just couldn’t risk it.
But are Gucci sunglasses for women worth the price tag?
Once again, the Big Guy gifted me my first pair of Gucci sunglasses for our anniversary last year. He knew I needed new sunglasses and he knew I liked them big and beautiful and he is sort of a sunglasses for men connoisseur himself so he got them for me. It surprised me because I totally wasn’t expecting them but really wanted them. I just can’t make myself spend $300 + dollars on Gucci sunglasses ( or any other women sunglasses for that matter). Buying for others is not an issue but for myself, I need a steep markdown (because there is always something else that I can spend the money on). It’e the mom guilt. We don’t allow ourselves these little pleasures.
I love third markdown designer everything. There is some sort of satisfaction that comes from knowing you got a quality ( not irregular or last season) piece of clothing, shoes, accessories or handbags for a reduced price. Fortunately, the Big Guy is not as frugal as I am. That’s how I got these amazing sunglasses.
Yes, Gucci Sunglasses are worth the price tag!
But why, Debi? Why are Gucci women sunglasses worth the price tag? Why would anyone pay $300 + dollars for women sunglasses, men sunglasses or Gucci sunglasses when that could pay for 2 weeks of groceries? Because you can’t get the groceries if you can’t see to drive to the grocery store. You can wreck when you are being blinded by the sun. You will get wrinkles if you try to squint through life while looking into the sun. Guess what costs more than $300? BOTOX!
You’re shaking your head and thinking to yourself, how wasteful to spend that kind of money for sunglasses. I would have agreed with you 2 weeks ago but then one morning I drove home from dropping the kids off at school and I looked directly into the sun…like Wonder Woman and I was unaffected. Nobody was blinded. I did not squint or swerve. I looked directly in the direction I needed to without any squinting or wincing. Looking life right in the eyes is empowering and that is priceless.
READ ALSO: Why Mom Guilt is Useless
While I never would have bought them for myself and I hardly even wore them for months because it felt embarrassing to be so opulent in my everyday life. Just like I feel like a jerk every time I carry the Louis Vuitton the Big Guy me a few years ago for an anniversary. Then it hit me. I deserve nice things. And it’s only wasteful if I don’t use these things. If I wear my Gucci sunglasses every day, for drop-offs and picks ups to school and ballet; in yoga pants and cocktail dresses, then I’ve used them $300 worth and so I am.
So, yes Gucci sunglasses are worth the price tag because I’m worthy of nice things and so are you. Buy the Gucci, buy the Louis, buy the Louboutins and the Chanel….just make sure that you have the money to buy the groceries too.
What is your favorite designer brand piece of fashion that you own or have dreamed of owning? Why and what makes it special to you? Now, go treat yo self!
Motherhood is f*cking hard. Like really freaking, punch you in the lady balls and pull your hair while running away with your big wheel and your sucker hard. Sometimes it sucks and sometimes, it’s even harder than that. But we moms, we soldier on. We push it all down, pull up our big mom panties and do all the sh*t we don’t want to do because if we don’t no one else will. Facts.
I mean does anyone think women specifically like to randomly clean up everyone else’s shit and wake up 47 times a night with cranky babies, finicky toddlers and sick children? The answer is no, Karen. Estrogen does not make us better at or even like any of those things. We love our children but all the inconveniences of motherhood…not so much. We need a release, one that won’t cause society to call us narcissistic, selfish or bad moms.
This is your mom on drugs.
Close your mouth. If you’re a mom, you know what I mean. If you’re not a mom, no one is asking for your opinion over here in “we’re tired as hell, shut the f*ck up” mom land. Forever, moms have had their hidden vices (because society judges us too harshly) some moms survive by the grace of wine o’clock, others something prescribed for anxiety, some of us should buy stock in edibles and others of us, apparently, you granola betches love a good shroom microdose. I’m not judging, edibles are my actual chill pill and I feel more in control than when prescribed Xanax.
I never tried pot in high school. I didn’t do molly, acid or cocaine in college. If we’re being really honest, growing up where I did, drugs were offered in middle school but my dad was (still is) very strict with a no drugs and alcohol policy and breaking his rules was just too big of a risk for me to take for anything. Besides, when I was in high school and college, I didn’t need chill pills because, well, I had no responsibilities, no bills and no children. I slept when I was tired. Ate when I was hungry. I did what made me happy. That’s not the case anymore. I donated my body to this thing called motherhood and I’m pretty sure when I die, my parts will be out of warranty from the sheer exhaustion and years of abuse it has sustained. I mean they call it mommy’s little helper for a reason, people.
Anyways, here I am 17 years into motherhood and my favorite thing to do after the kids go to sleep is to pop a gummy, wait an hour and see what crazy culinary concoction I will create like a mad scientist to satiate my cravings. Thankfully, the Dory brain I get from a gummy or half of one pretty much eliminates any guilt because I can’t retain such useless emotions from one moment to the next. My cannabis gummy takes down my barriers and leaves me to prioritize only what is of the most importance. But don’t try to have a conversation with me. It’s pretty much like what you would imagine having a conversation with your succulent would be like! Yeah, edibles are not good for weight loss or having intelligent conversations but they are fabulous for sleep, stopping panic attacks, and chilling right the f*ck out. That’s why I’m chunky but overall pretty happy.
Still, I’m a mom and none of the baby books say that moms, in particular, should be celebrating 4/20. But then again, what do books know and most likely those books were written by overachievers who are trying to raise babies by some crazy, unattainable parenting standard. I’m here to tell you, those of us real ones, the ones who have served on the frontlines 100% recommend cannabis over child abuse.
The truth is that parenting is hard and no book can prepare you for the reality of keeping little people alive, never mind during a pandemic. Remember, I’m speaking as the mom of teens so they are pretty self-sufficient, once I put them to bed, it’s my time. My husband doesn’t get high because it’s not his thing so he’s always sober. I only mention that my kids are older because I didn’t get high when they were little because 1) it wasn’t legal 2) most of the time I was alone with them 3) it wasn’t as accessible as it is now. But all that has changed. And I’m not judging anyone. We’re all just trying to survive over here.
Here are some benefits of parenting on cannabis recreationally or medically.
Nearly 80% of new moms experience some form of mood disturbance after giving birth, including mood swings, sadness, and irritability. One in nine mothers is diagnosed with postpartum depression, a severe mood disorder that causes prolonged withdrawal from family and friends, inability to eat and sleep, excessive mood swings, and difficulty bonding with the baby. Marijuana has been found to successfully treat postpartum depression, offering a reprieve for mothers that are unresponsive or uncomfortable with traditional medical treatment.
An estimated nine percent of mothers are affected by severe postpartum anxiety, and an even larger percentage of mothers will experience anxiety over the course of their lifetime. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, women are two times more likely to suffer from anxiety than men. Occasional marijuana use has been shown to decrease symptoms of mild to severe anxiety, as well as other related disorders such as obsessive-compulsive disorder and impulse-control disorder.
Bringing Partners Together
Couples who smoke together, stay together. Some couples report that smoking marijuana together decreases the frequency of arguments, and increases sexual satisfaction and intimacy with a partner. This can be especially useful for parents, as rates of relationship dissatisfaction increase two-fold when a couple has one or more children.
Alternative to Prescription Drugs
Prescription drug abuse among women has increased by 500% in the past decade. Now more than 18 million women over the age of 26 use prescription drugs for uses other than prescribed, and the rate of abuse is suspected to be higher in mothers than non-mothers. Marijuana offers many of the same benefits of prescription drugs, most notably pain relief, with a far lower addiction rate and fewer withdrawal symptoms.
Cannabis is not what it used to be. Getting your weed now feels like hitting up your local Genius Bar. It’s bright, white, sleek and modern and feels very exclusive and dirty but not really. All I know is that the dispensary is one of my happy places. In some ways, it’s even more magical than Disney.
Honestly, I think parents probably need to get high more than anyone else on the planet. We’re adults, with joint bank accounts, 2.5 children, bills, mortgages, tuition sandwiched in between taking care of our parents and our children all while trying our best to survive it all sober. Don’t we all deserve time, now and again, to just be a human being (apart from our parenting role) and gently float away for few hours to a place where all the beautiful things in life are amplified and all the stress and worry are muted? We do.
As a mom, you know just how busy life can be. We’re always on the go and always have things that we need to do. We rarely get a moment to ourself because we’re always busy doing things and looking after everyone else. But that’s just what mom life is like – and we wouldn’t change it for the world. Well, maybe some more sleep and hours in the day would be awesome. I can’t make more hours in the day or help with your insomnia but I can help with some best organization and planning tips for mom life to make life easier.
We all wish that things could be a little bit more streamlined. And that’s only natural. We all feel that way. It’s always going to be a good thing if we can all be organized and a little more put together. We feel calmer and can go through the day with a bit more clarity. But how easy is that to do in practice?
Let’s take a look at five ideas that might be able to help you make mom life more organized.
Manage Your Finances Well
First of all, you will want to make sure that things like your finances, bills, and household paperwork is organized. It sounds crazy, but if you’re worried about this or not organized, it can affect how well you are able to manage the rest of your life.
Have a Schedule
Next up, you’re going to want to make sure that you have a daily and weekly routine too. This can be good for your kids but also for all the things that you need to do. It’ll help you to feel more organized instead of like you have too much to do and no time to do it.
Turn to Your Family
From here, you may then want to rely on some of your family more. It could even be your partner. Even having your mom close by could be really helpful for you here.
Keep Things Tidy
When it comes to the rest of your home, you’ll find that it’s a good idea for you to try and keep things as tidy as possible. A tidy home can make you feel so much more organized and together. It will also then make everything else you have to do easier too.
Make It a Mindset Thing
And finally, you’re going to want to try and make this a bit of a mindset thing. If you know that you are always thinking about things and worrying or panicking, you need to change that. Working to get more of a positive mindset can really help. When you’re able to focus on the good things, take one day at a time, and be grateful, it really does help you transform your life and everyday.
As much as it can seem like trying to be organized as a mom is impossible, it’s really not. There are always going to be things and organization tips for mom that you can do to make your days that little bit easier. To pick out what’ll work for you and see what results you get.
A Cincinnati zoo gorilla, Harambe, a majestic male Silverback lowland Gorilla (listed as critically endangered), was shot dead the day after his 17th birthday when a mother visiting the zoo lost track of her 4-year-old child. In a sad turn of events, the child got away from his mom and into the gorilla enclosure in front of a crowd of social media savvy a**holes (I know because they were all too busy tweeting video to actually help.) All because of one mom’s parental negligence. Talk about a bad parenting moment. Thankfully her son is now resting safe and sound in the hospital with just a few scrapes and bruises. That’s the good news.
Who’s to blame for all of this? In my opinion, the mom. The toddler told his mom that he was going to go into the enclosure but she ignored his threats and that’s why I feel she’s responsible for the entire situation. I realize that I’m being judgmental but how can I not be when not only was this woman not watching her child; more specifically, she chose to ignore his direct warning that he intended to do something dangerous.
If my toddler somehow ended up in the bottom of a Gorilla enclosure submerged in water with a 400 plus pound, super strong, unpredictable primate standing only inches above my child, I’d have grabbed the gun and shot the damn gorilla myself.
Who in the world let’s their toddler roam free out of sight long enough to shimmy under the clearly marked “Keep out” railings and wires of the enclosure, fall down the ravine and end up in the moat? She finally noticed that her child was in danger when other patrons started screaming? It had to take a minute for the child to escape her and make his way to the moat.
I took my girls to the zoo when they were toddlers and they were almost always strapped into their strollers as we maneuvered high traffic areas, unless they were in my arms or holding my hand. We’ve since moved past this barbaric practice; no zoos, circuses or Seas World’s for us. We go to sanctuaries, reserves, oceans and National Parks to see animals in their natural habitats.
Witnesses say the child, after being overheard telling his mother that he wanted to “get in the water”, then crawled through the railing, the bushes and fell 15-feet into the moat of the enclosure. Apparently, him telling her that he was going to do it wasn’t enough of a warning.
What’s wrong with this mom? Where was the little boy’s dad? Was anyone watching him? I’m normally of the mom and let mom parenting technique but willfully ignoring the threats of dangerous behavior ( in a dangerous place) could warrant a DCFS intervention.
Due to the negligence an innocent child was terrified and hurt and a Cincinnati Zoo Gorilla was shot and killed.
I watched many videos and read available reports on the situation. Everyone was rightfully terrified at the situation. Too bad the gorilla couldn’t be tranquilized rather than shot dead. But obviously, a human child’s life takes precedence over a gorilla’s. Zoo officials couldn’t very well stand around twiddling their thumbs while a child was drowned, mauled or crushed to death. A gorilla doesn’t know its own strength and could’ve easily seriously injured the child.
Tranquilizers could have caused the gorilla to become aggressive and hurt the child or fall on him in the interim as they waited for it to take effect. I get all of that. The thing is primates are highly intelligent animals and I think Harambe was just doing what came natural to him and he probably felt pretty scared when his handlers shot him.
I’m not a primate expert or a zoologist but it didn’t appear that he actually had any intention of hurting the child. It looked to me like he was trying to keep the baby safe until the child’s people came to collect him. I think the screaming and commotion was adding fuel to the fire and scaring both Harambe and the little boy. I think both the gorilla and the kid were both victims of this mother’s negligence.
This lady needs to be held responsible for her actions. She needs some parenting classes. I’m sure many of you think I sound like a cold-hearted witch but I watched the video (all of them) and I’m wondering why she is just standing on the sidelines screaming, “Mommy loves you!”
Lady, if you really loved your kid, maybe you should have kept your eye on him, strapped him in a stroller, held his hand and NOT let the kid wander off into the gorilla enclosure. Maybe you should have taken his warning that he was going to get into the water more seriously. That’s the part that really makes me feel like she was negligent.
I think most moms would have gone into mama bear beast mode and scaled that damn moat themselves and tried to save their baby or at the very least grabbed a zoo employee or maybe, I don’t know, sobbed at the thought of their baby possibly being beaten or killed by a gigantic primate. She did nothing…just like all the people who stood there and watched and recorded rather than actually help.
The little boy was taken to the Cincinnati Children’s hospital and is listed in stable condition after being manhandled for about 10 minutes by the gorilla. I think the bulk of the damage was probably done by the fall into the moat, the dragging around he endured while the gorilla became frightened from the screaming of the crowd or, I don’t know, the traumatization he will live with forever from seeing the giant gorilla murdered as it stood above him. Poor kid. Don’t worry kiddo your mommy loves you. She just doesn’t want to be bothered with watching you.
Word of advice if you can’t watch your kids, stay at home with the doors shut and try to keep your kids safe until they are old enough to take care of themselves. You suck! The Cincinnati zoo didn’t get the kid out of all the danger he’s facing by killing Harambe. After all, they aren’t going home with the kid.
What did everyone think the gorilla was going to do? Eat the baby? They’re not carnivores. In my opinion, the parents’ negligence caused child endangerment.
What do you think about the endangered Cincinnati zoo gorilla being murdered in cold blood because a mom couldn’t be bothered to watch her child?
The sisterhood of motherhood, isn’t it a beautiful thing? Seriously, without it where would we be? My mom friends, that unbreakable sisterhood of motherhood, is what got me through those early days of motherhood. They were my tether to sanity.
When I first became a mom, it was the single most amazing and simultaneously most isolating thing that had ever happened to me. There is just something about bringing life into the world that takes a woman and elevates her expectations of the world. My first decision was to stay huddled in our home, safely away from any and all germs, until I absolutely had to leave the house; six weeks later for my check up.
Immediately, I began to hold everything to a higher standard, including myself. My mission in life became to not break the baby; the perfect, amazing, beautiful creature whom I had just brought into the world. It’s a lot of pressure.
Motherhood gives you a new perspective of the world; more insight, more tolerance, more love and bravery like you’ve never known before.
Suddenly, I was fully aware that I was the keeper of this miracle. She was given to us perfect and any defects from here on out, was strictly on us. I was responsible for what kind of human being this sweet smelling, cooing, and loving little soul would become. It was overwhelming.
My first responsibility was to my child but once we left our bubble and went out into the real world, I realized that there are a million different ways to be a mom and how could I know for sure that my way was the best way? Keep the baby alive. That was my mantra.
Those first few years of motherhood felt like a constant “do I cut the red wire or the blue wire?” situation.
Only the ramifications were much worse than a simple explosion, I could ruin an entire human being’s life by making the wrong choice.
Okay, who thought it was a good idea to let me leave the hospital with this baby? I want to see some credentials because, clearly, they had no idea what they were doing giving a baby to me. Breathe!
I didn’t get much sleep in those days. It took a lot of time and effort doing the best I could and even more time comparing myself to other moms, not because I thought I was right but because I was sure I was doing it wrong.
By the time we started Kindermusik classes at 9-months, because a mom at the pediatrician’s office gave me a crazed look when I told her that my baby wasn’t taking any classes, I couldn’t get enough of what other mother’s had to say about the subject of motherhood. I wanted to be the best that I could be for my daughter so I was open to anything but there were so many conflicting parenting techniques. Every mom I met seemed to have a handle on parenting her child and still I felt like I was floundering, now more than ever.
Every other mom seemed to be better at motherhood than I was in those days.
I took mental checklists in those days. Breastfed. Check. Tried to anyways. Had problems producing and used an SNS to help. Check. Drank all the Fenugreek. Failed miserably. Check. Formula. Check. Bad mom. Double Check.
I used disposable diapers. Check. Never used a binky but she could not be parted from her lovie. (Still can’t.)Check. Co-slept. Check. Never stopped. Double check. Rolled over at 3-months. Check. Rolled right off the bed. Double Check. Bad mom. Check. Sat up at 5-months. Check. Started crawling at 7-months. Check. Crawled backwards. Check minus. Started talking at 6-months. Check. Started walking at 10-months. Check. Never wanted to leave my side. Check. Frequently woke up during the night while teething and demanded the Wiggles. Double check. I let her because the crying at 3 a.m. was killing me. Bad mom. Check again.
But every mom I met seemed to do everything just a little bit better with a little more ease and looked a lot better doing it. I met several moms who went back to work and had amazing careers and parenting seemed effortless while I, on the other hand, was completely overwhelmed, always tired and looked the part. The only thing I knew was that I adored my daughter and there was nothing I wouldn’t do to be the best parent possible to her. Really, I think that is how every mother feels.
Motherhood is hard, no matter who you are.
We’re just scared to let the other mothers know that we don’t know everything, it’s not all easy and some parts we don’t like or even understand. We pretend it’s easy because we don’t want to be labeled the “bad mom” the one who doesn’t know what she’s doing or worse, the one who is breaking her perfect child. It’s our biggest fear.
I’d like to think in times of true need, we would all rush to one another’s rescue. As I’ve moved past the new mother stage to the mom of elementary school aged children, I realized the truth and that was that we are all exactly the same. We’re all just trying to do our best and it’s hard for all of us at times. Some parts are easy for others and some parts are harder but in the end we all just really love our babies more than we know how to handle. We all just need to give one another a break because if we helped one another out rather than compared ourselves or judged each other, we’d all be happier and better moms. You’re not alone. We all make mistakes. Just keep loving your baby and doing your best.
When is a time that you felt at the end of your mommy rope and another mom came in with a kind word or action and made your day better?
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This post about motherhood is sponsored by Similac. I was compensated for this post but all opinions are my own.
It’s Friday and that means that I am going to be sharing 5 more of my favorite blogs with all of you.Trust me when I say, these are women that you will be glad that you checked out!
[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”]Courtesy Enjoying the Small Things
Enjoying the Small Things~ I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit. –Dawna Markova Enjoying the Small Things began in 2007, shortly after my first daughter Lainey was born, as a way to combine my writing and photography hobbies.It since has evolved to much more, providing not only an outlet for creativity (without which, I’d go nuts), but a home for the gratitude I feel for all of my inspirations, and most importantly, the moments we share as a family. This January(2010), we welcomed our second girl, Nella Cordelia, and were stunned to learn, upon her delivery, that she had Down syndrome. My world was rocked to the core, and I was sure life as I knew it was over. How wrong I was. Between the outpouring of love and support we received, some hardcore life analysis and therapeutic insights I made on this blog through it all, I have arrived at the very beautiful place of Life is hard. But it’s also amazing, and I will rock the hell out of it.Kelle Hampton is an amazing writer and photographer. She IS my daily read. I look forward to her words and photographs for inspiration as I do the sunrise every morning. She reminds me of a girl I might have grown up with here in the Midwest. She has the words to give life to the giant gestures of love that the rest of us feel for our children, husbands and our lives. She looks at life through rose colored, half- full glasses and sees the beauty in the small things, the simple things, the everyday things. Kelle is a must read. One read and your heart will be stolen forever. You can find her here
Perfectly Disheveled ~Hi! I’m Jennifer Brandt a.k.a. J-Ko. I live in Los Angeles and am mom to a ridiculously delicious 3 year old boy.As I watch my son Jonah discover the world around him, I think of my imaginary friends fondly and know that their spirit will always be with me… with us. Jennifer is a single mom of the most adorable little boy I’ve ever seen. Her blog is honest, funny and light. She talks about everything under the sun to do with single parenting and touches on a lot of great tips for today’s moms, women in general and somehow looks completely adorable all the while. When you read Perfectly disheveled, you know that she is the every mom. She is the Mom at the playground, the mom in Starbucks, the hurrying out the door trying to beat the traffic to preschool Mommy. If you’re there now, she’s been there! She tells it like it is, openly and honestly with a little sugar to make the medicine go down. She’s the kind of girl who you could have a glass of wine and an honest conversation with for hours. That’s the vibe her blog gives off too. You can find her here and on Twitter. Now go read her now.I promise you will be thanking me for pointing you in her direction.
Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip~Ever since I became a mother six years ago, I’ve wanted to write about it. Motherhood is the kind of experience that changes everything about you. It is amazing and wonderful. It is wild and unexpected. It is so incredible and life-changing that it is truly beyond explanation. Before you experience yourself, descriptions of motherhood sound like simple cliché. This blog is dedicated to love, the kind of love that gets you up in the middle of the night. The kind of love that throws up on you and needs its pamper changed and wets the bed. The kind of love that leaves you breathless when it runs out into the street. The kind of love that makes you buy organic smashed peas and animal crackers. The kind of love that changes you forever, for better or for worse, and you are thrilled about it. Naomi is AWESOME. She is a hilariously snarkilicious, salsa diva with a brilliant ability to laugh at the every day situations. You know those situations that make us want to cry? Not Naomi, she can turn that frown upside down and find the funny in it. There is so much to love about her and her blog that the list would be shorter to list what I don’t like. I don’t like that she doesn’t get to post as often as I’d like, instead she leaves me with baited breath waiting for my daily dose of funny.She’s a bloggy sadomasochist that way. But lucky for us, she is so freakishly amazing and apparently has more hours in the day than the rest of us humans. She can be found at SheKnows or today she was here and of course you can find her at her blog and on Twitter. She is amazing. I don’t mean that in the smoke up your ass, I love everybody way. I mean she is really freaking amazing.I heart her hardcore and I know you will too. Not only is she sweet and funny, she has a heart as big as Texas!
Scary Mommy ~ Jill is a domestic satirist whose candor and wit about the underbelly of marriage and parenting has brought Erma Bombeck-style insights to a new generation of women.Her personal blog, which averages over 500,000 page views a month, recounts with humor and humility the travails of parenthood. It has been recognized with numerous blogging awards, including lucky number 13 on Babble’s “Best Mom Blogger” list. Her Scary Mommy Society provides a forum for other “scary mommies,” blogging newcomers, and smart people with something important to say to share their stories in a community setting. Jill is so fabulously raw that I almost can’t stand it, in the absolute best way imaginable. She is like good coffee; a perfect blend of strong, deep, dark and a little sweet. Scary Mommy is a must read for me because..well, damn it…she’s my people. I can relate to about 97% of what she blogs about verbatim. It’s like someone’s filming my crazy family:) Jill, you are not filming us ,right? Because if you are, Mama needs a stylist. Jill is not afraid to talk about any topic. You will find strength in her honesty and you will begin to crave that feeling of sisterhood and camaraderie. I double dog dare you to try and read her only once…it’s not possible. One read and you will be addicted to the scary. And if you have something on your Mommy chest that needs to be gotten rid of, you must visit her confessions ( don’t worry it’s all anonymous). You can find her here and on Twitter. There’s a little scary mommy in all of us. Go check her out, you will be glad that you did.
The Mommyologist ~My name is Mary, and I have been a Stay-at-Home-Mom for four years. Settling into my new role as a mother did not happen overnight for me! In fact, I only recently got used to the transition. I went from being a career woman who was constantly hopping on a plane to some exciting city, to my permanent position as a round the clock personal concierge to a pint-sized future comedian disguised as my adorable little son. Motherhood is great, don’t get me wrong, but it’s definitely a lot harder than I thought it would be. I have finally come to love all of the quirks and challenges that make this the best job on the face of the earth, and I really couldn’t be any happier with my life, but that has definitely taken some time! Mary is the brilliance that brought us “Mom SEXY”. Not only is her blog open and witty, she tells us about all the behind the scenes mommying that your mama didn’t tell you about. Who doesn’t love a woman that tells us her little boy farts on her while he potties? Come on, been there. Done that. And the whole “mom sexy”mantra? This lady is our biggest cheerleader. She is like the little angel in my ear saying ” Come on girl, You look Mom sexy today!WOOHOO!” I love that about her and so will you.She’s a smart cookie with a big personality. She will Zumba with the best of them, get boogers wiped on her, shake it off, drink a big glass of wine and get her Mom sexy on!She’s a lot of fun. You can find her here and on Twitter. Go check out her wonderful blog. I promise she will help you get your mom sexy back.And really, who can’t use a little extra mom sexy pep talk?
These are my fabulous five for this week. I hope that you will check them out. Have a fabulous weekend.
