I was just going over some of my posts from when I first started this blog, a year ago, and let me tell you…I think if you want a giggle…you should go here…now! Not to set the bar too high, but I found it all pretty amusing and apropos. I address everything from labor and delivery, pregnancy, to play dates gone a miss. Back then I had NO followers and I think its a shame that no one got the chance to read those posts. So be a dear and take a peak! You won’t be sorry.Happy Mothering!
Search results for: “let it go”
If you’ve haven’t used in in two seasons…throw it out !
I’ve been watching a lot of Real Housewives lately..don’t know why. Maybe to annoy myself, maybe I’m bored, maybe its just so rainy and crappy out there’s nothing else to do but I did happen across a very important life lesson the other day. “If you’ve not used it/needed it in 2 seasons..throw it out!” So, I am going through purging my life of needless things today. Clothing, dishes, nick knacks, toys ( oh yeah even some of the kids stuff..some of the tough love feedback from last weeks post ..stuck), all slowly decreasing the clutter. I love it. I feel liberated. Then I realize, does this only have to apply to things? What about people? I know that sounds really awful but you know what I mean. Do I really need that FB friend who only really friended me ( in my personal FB not my fan site) to be nosey? I know its true because they’ve never said anything to me except the original “will you be my friend?” If we’ve not genuinely engaged in the last two years, I say I take you off my friends list. It’s fair, right? If you have been my friend over the past 10 years and you don’t know that I have a 5 and 2 year old….then I am eliminating you from my life. See how this works? If we dated a zillion years ago and God knows we absolutely don’t care what’s going on with one another…we shouldn’t be friends. If you don’t return calls consistently and anyone who has not been genuinely involved in my life via conversation or physically (one or the other or both) in the last 2 years, then I think we are not really friends and we should just eliminate one another from our lives.People are in our past for a reason, there’s is usually a good reason they are not part of our present, so why try to force a future? I know this sounds cold but I have always tried to keep all my friendships going all the time. It is exhausting! There are some people who you can go months without seeing each other and talking but you pick up the phone and time never passed. Those are the exceptions. Those are the real friends! And those people never let 2 years pass without checking in on you. All the other relationships are a lot of work and if they are not doing their part, then what’s the point of trying. It takes two in a friendship. I don’t want to impart upon my daughters that they have to be people pleasers and keep every friend they ever make. Sometimes we just outgrow one another and life takes different directions. There is no wrong doing in that. It is evolution. But sometimes we hold on so tight in relationships that we end up either making ourselves miserable or smothering the other person with our expectations, or both. So, I’ve decided to stop holding on to the past, and concentrate on the future. I am de-cluttering my life and making room for all the wonderful things that are to come, instead of trying to figure out the past. In the spirit of that here is a little something I wrote ( feel free to use it if you’d like);
Ode to a Shitty Friend
Dear shitty friend,
You used to be my closest friend~
But now , after years of friendship thrown down the toilet by you~
You are indeed the shittiest of friends!
We used to be like sisters~
Where there was one, there was the other.
I shared in your happiness,
I was your biggest cheerleader!
Your friendship was more valuable to me than anything else in the world.
Then, the time came when we had to grow up.
The friendship could have evolved, it could have survived, it could have flourished~
But you chose to cut me out of your life.
Returning only on occasions when you felt especially shitty about yourself and you needed me in your cheering section.
You were like some crazy friend version of a booty call.
You’d call when you needed a friend and disappear when you didn’t need it.
But when I needed my cheerleader, you were no where to be found.
When I needed guidance, sisterhood, love,support and friendship,
You turned your back on me;stopped answering your phone.
I kept waiting, even coming back for more.
I figured, you needed my friendship more than I needed my dignity.
Now, the calls have become few and far between.
Maybe once every year or so, you check in~
Just to make sure that I am not perfectly happy, you like to drop in and infuse my life with a little misery.
It’s OK. I don’t get upset and cry anymore,
I barely even care.
In sad reality, I expect nothing of you
And there lies our friendship, on the floor in a million pieces.
I don’t worry about you ever reading this,
I know that you wouldn’t afford yourself the inconvenience.
There is no benefit in it for you.
Thanks for the lifetime, but lets move forward.
I have children of my own now and I can’t keep stroking your ego,
And feeding your narcissism.
I am too tired, too old, and even less interested.
Please don’t call me inebriated, professing love and friendship
and making promises that you have no intentions of keeping in the light of day.
I have endured my last frustration and worry over you.
I wish you nothing but happiness in your life~
But I refuse to any longer try to resuscitate a friendship that is so long dead.
Yours truly,
Someone who is finally coming to their sensesHappy Mothering!
A Toddler, a Preschooler and a Petulant Teenager!
With the current living arrangement due to the Big Guy’s career, we decided that I needed some help around the house with the girls. Luckily for us, I happen to know of a super, terrific Joe Jonas look alike ( according to my daughters and to their great enjoyment) a little brother who is a great help, when he chooses to be. The alternative was me a toddler, a preschooler, and a petulant teenager.
A couple of weeks ago my little brother came and helped enormously. It was priceless, the assistance that he gave. He was patient, understanding, funny, sweet, pliable, did I mention PATIENT. I mean way more patient than I think I am, at times, and I’m the Mommy. He’s one of those rare finds, that loves kids and just lets them jump, pull and hang all over him. Needless, to say I was impressed & was looking forward to an encore performance from my little brother.
READ ALSO: New Mom MondayLast Wednesday, I picked him up and he escorted us downtown to a meeting for the girls at a modeling agency. He was very helpful and I couldn’t have managed without his help. Well, I could have but it would have been a much more difficult task.
But by Friday, my little Manny (Male + Nanny) apparently had enough and was evolving into a petulant teenager. He is, in fact, still a teenager. It started with my 5-year-old adamantly refusing to eat her apple sauce ( seems lately they refuse to do anything I actually want them to do). After about 10 minutes of her and
I going back and forth, the Manny looks her dead in her little blue eyes and says, “Eat it or I’ll throw it in your face!”
WTF???? Excuse me, crazy..if anyone is going to throw anything in anyone’s face…It’ll be me and until I reach that moment of complete insanity, it’s not going to happen.
“Excuse me? Don’t say that to my girls!”
Him: “I was just kidding.”
He wasn’t and if he thinks I am stupid enough to believe that well, then let’s say my little brother’s opinion of my intelligence must be pretty low! My five-year-old was in shock, and I think a little scared but mostly she just ignored it and filed his comment away for some future therapy session.
Come to think of it, this complete breakdown may have started on Wednesday when my 2-year-old refused to carry her own apple juice. The doting manny (fabulous uncle) put it in his coat pocket, only to find out that as he was walking around downtown Chicago he was leaving a trail of apple juice that was seeping through his new Pea coat’s pockets. What to do?
READ ALSO: I’ll Love You Forever
Now, instead of having help, I have a toddler, a preschooler, and a petulant teenager. Not fair! I want my sweet, helpful manny back. Do boys get PMS? Maybe that’s it. All I know is that the only way to deal with a toddler, a preschooler, and a petulant teenager is to take into consideration each of their ages and treat them each accordingly. My brother has been so helpful, it’s easy to assume he’s an adult but at the end of the day, he’s still just a giant child and that’s bad on me. The key to having 3 kids at three very different stages in their childhood is to treat them all as individuals; little people with feelings and hopes and dreams of their own.
Hopefully, he will wake up today and it will have passed. No matter what, look at how my girls love him! That’s gotta count for something.
A toddler, a preschooler, and a petulant teenager
No Roaring Allowed
Now that my post from yesterday has confirmed all of your suspicions that I am ,in fact, not perfect. I just wanted to thank you for your support on a dark day in my Mommy history. I also wanted to let you all know that the breakdown may have been exactly what we all needed. We woke up in a much better disposition and I think we all had a little more consideration for each others feelings today. Gabs realized that maybe whining and screaming constantly is not the best way to accomplish her goals for the day. Bella realized that maybe it would be much easier to just actually listen to Mommy and help her out when she asks than to argue and end up miserable and without television and Barbies. Myself, I realized that I love these two little monkeys more than life itself and sometimes I gotta say to hell with the stress inducing responsibilities; dance when I should be folding laundry, go outside and push them on the swing set even though I really should be doing the dishes, hug them tight when they are frustrated and screaming rather than joining in and aggravating the situation.I have learned that I got to get my priorities back on track. I think we all learned from yesterdays fiasco. The truth of the matter is this; we are all human and humans make mistakes. What separates us from the animals is that we can learn and grow from the error of our ways. If not, we are nothing more than lions roaring into the abyss. I, for one, have decided that “roaring” is no longer a part of my repertoire that I am willing to embrace.
Mommies DON’T have favorites…do they?
I have two amazing , beautiful daughters that I simply worship. These two kids are my reason for being. That being said, some times they can absolutely drive me up a wall. I mean, stark raving lunatic crazy. For instance, when bedtime rolls around and my 5 year old just keeps begging for “JUST 5 more minutes (of tv). Please Mommy!” “No, honey. It’s bedtime.You HAVE to go to sleep!” “You are the WORST MOTHA EVA!!!!!” Wow, I didn’t see that coming. Oh, wait. Yes I did..its our bedtime ritual. Some of you ladies like to read and cuddle, not us..we like to have a full on drag out cage match. Then there is my lovely 2 year old. Oh , how I love her so. She just makes me smile always, except for when she is in her “NO” mode. “Honey, let’s take our nap. ” “NO!!!” “Come on, you need your rest.” “NO!!!!” “Get your ass in the bed before I hurt you…(I jest..I don’t say that….not usually. I think it a lot but don’t normally say it) . The point is no matter how combative my children decide to behave or what craziness they decide to throw at me on any given day, which could truly be any thing. Sometimes I feel like I am running through a mine field with crazed chimps throwing poo at me, that’s how bad it gets…some days! But at no point, ever, would I choose one child over the other. Somehow, my heart has grown to accommodate loving both in equal measure, which I never would have believed possible had I not be experiencing it firsthand. I was so in love with my first one that I was positive that there was no way I would or could ever love # 2 any where close to that. You know, sorta how you thought you’d never love any one after that first love? I ,literally, was in the hospital in labor with #2 and was crying because I felt like I was completely betraying #1 by even bringing this other baby into the world and having to split my love. I had no idea that my love would double. But Gabs came along and low and behold, this kid …I couldn’t physically love her anymore then I do. So I can’t conceive how you would ever pick one of your children over another but I’ve seen it happen. Gasp…I know you are either gasping for shame for this poor woman or you are nodding ( silently in agreement). Either way, this “Mother” consistently puts one child’s needs and wants above the others. She has even go so far as to tell the #2 (in her book) that her plans are dependent on #1’s. WTF? This annoys me to no end because I say if you have your favorite, because you are human and I am sure it happens, then at least try and conceal it. Don’t be so damn obvious! That is just insulting for the poor child and anyone else who has the misfortune of witnessing it. Also, keep in mind that for young children, you are risking major bucks in therapy down the line. So, if you are going to have favorites for God’s sake be discreet. Your children are probably not as oblivious as you are giving them credit for being.
Unspoken fears of an irrational mind
I just woke up, an hour earlier than usual. I suppose it has something to do with me trying to actually get some sleep these last few nights. Hergo no late night, 2 am blogging sessions. Sorry about the posts shortage but for my sanity’s sake I had to get caught up on some sleep. I was beginning to feel a bit disjointed. Speaking of which, I awoke this morning with the remnants of a bad dream lingering on the horizon. Let me preface this by saying, I’ m pretty sure this has everything to do with the current living situation (due to an out of town job for my husband), stress of being a part-time single mom, and nothing to do with reality…at least not to my knowledge. In this dream, my girlfriend who is about to burst pregnant comes to visit ( in reality , my husband has never even met this woman). She is at my house complaining about wanting this baby out and her husband always being out of town ( which he, in fact, always is due to work).My husband enters the room, sits down by her and begins to console her. Now, in reality, my husband is the type who is very ‘friendly’ with my girlfriends. I don’t mean flirty, I mean actually friendly. He is a very jovial man ; he likes to laugh and thinks himself to be very funny. So, this is no stretch that he would see one of my friends down and jump right in like one of the girls. But in my dream, he pulls her toward him and leans in and kisses the side of her head. I was watching ,uncomforatble and shocked. What the hell just happened? It seemed innocent enough, but not in the context…being that she’s not his wife. Remember, he doesn’t know her. After she left,. I asked him, “What was that?” He shrugged his shoulders and said, ” I don’t know…I like her.” What? Half jokingly, I said,”Well, don’t like her too much.” The whole thing had a really weird feel about it. Then, the next day, we’re in the car (my husband and I) and he tells me,” I’ve been thinking about it and I really do like her.” This is not what any woman wants to hear about her friend. He was serious and the implication was I like her more than you. So, I sat there in disbelief and listen to this cornucopia of reasons why he likes this woman he barely knows more than his wife of a decade. It went something like this…She’s blonde (I’m brunette), She’s so small (I’m 5’7″ and slightly overweight), she’s so vulnerable (well, I have to hold it together because he’s always gone and I have to be strong), she’s quiet (I’m opinionated.I have a brain and I like using it.), she’s pregnant (he doesn’t want any more) and the list went on for what seemed like forever. Which I suppose it would if you had to listen to your husband list why he likes another woman more than yourself. It was all like a horrible, cruel joke. Ever see that movie where the teenage girls were hazing the other girls and they would circle and point out every single flaw you they had, and laugh and mock that flaw.That’s how I woke up feeling. I’ve never felt so vulnerable and raw in my entire life. I’m not sure if this sleep thing is for me, if this is the product of sleep. Sometimes we spend so much of our time as Mommies powering through life that we never take the time to actually dwell on things like we did before we had kids. That is normally a good thing because it saves us from living like lovesick teenagers; worrying about every look, glance, hidden meaning behind every word or gesture, second guessing our relationship. But maybe sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we are not just Moms, who have to be strong for everyone.Sometimes we need to dwell on ourselves and our relationships with our spouses because they fell in love with soft young girls, who doted on their every breath and hung on every word. I know we don’t have time for such niceties with the house falling down around us and kids swinging from the chandeliers,bills to be paid, laundry to be done, but I think this dream was a reminder that I need to make more of an effort to be just ‘Debi’ when he and I are alone. I need to be able to switch back into woman mode, from Mommy mode. Mommy mode is too high strung to stay on 24/7…Mommy mode will burn out our motors and leave us broken. Hey nightmare, thanks for the friendly reminder! Now, please leave me alone…I have things to do and places to be, until Friday when I switch back into Debi. I wonder, when Debi’s around…who’s going to run the joint? I guess Daddy will have to figure it out.I’ll be busy being vulnerable and soft.
Beauty Hacks to Avoid: When Home Waxing Becomes Deadly
Have you ever had a home waxing go bad?
I mean, we’ve all had the wax burn, accidental over wax of the eyebrows and many of us have looked at that damn hairy strip of cloth and thought for one small second, Really? Why am I doing this? I am married to a man whose back is harrier than my head, occasionally farts when he sleeps and OMG, the man cold. But still, we do it because who the hell wants their partner to think they are gross, plus I don’t want to be hairy. Like I’ve told my girls since they were born, beauty is pain. I want to prepare them for when they are 13 and I want to pluck rogue eyebrows or dark lip hairs. Thankfully they are blonde so hopefully they won’t share in my unsightly five o’clock shadow lip quandary.
Ok, since I am running late..always and can not find the time to spare to take care of myself, in the way in which I am accustom to, I have had to resort to some home remedies. Ok, Moms you know what I am talking about. The Pedegg, home manicures, pedicures, home dye jobs, and even home waxing. God Bless you Nads!
It seems my Pedro has been getting quite out of control…upstairs girls not downstairs. We’ve had the fu manchu mishap, it’s been hardwoods ever since. I am referring to my ever so slightly hairy monkey lip that I so lovingly refer to as my womanstache! OK, so you say you’ve never seen me with this atrocity. Of course not, silly girl. I don’t go in public when the fuzz is a showin. Well, not usually, anyways. It’s just one of my many blessings of being a Latina woman, come on my Greek and Italian girlfriends..you feel me, right? No way we get to have all that flowing hair and curves and not get a sin tax in the form of waxing. Beauty is pain, people.
Anyways, this morning, I hit my hairy monkey threshold. Pedro had to be dealt with. I go to the bathroom to do “the deed”. Waxing. What were you thinking? Oh how I hate being the one to do it. I flinch and sometimes I almost don’t want to pull the strip. I always flash back to the 40 Year Old Virgin..yeah, that’s what my lip feels like when I do it myself. I think its mostly mental, but whatever it is…it hurts.
This morning my 2 and 5-year-old follow me into the bathroom, big surprise. What you think I’ve peed alone in the past 5 years? Nope, I’m just like you. I live under the watchful eyes of voyeuristic little people. They’ve seen me get waxed at the salon, as they are always with me. There is not much I can hide from them. Mommy’s special “Bandaids” for her “monthly vagina booboos”, phantom farts ( because I swear, IT WAS THE DOG) and even my uneven breasts which, I might add my 2-year-old is very disappointed in what gravity and breastfeeding have done to them.We are a very transparent family so if the poor dears have inherited my hairy chihuahua gene they should know what they have to look forward to.
Anyways, my 5-year-old, she is asking all the right waxing questions. How does that work? Does that go on your face? Doesn’t that hurt? Smart cookie. I get into gotta do it mode, put that lovely little wax strip on my face ( I forgot the desensitizing wipe because of the fear and trepidation of pulling the strip..it must be how a soldier feels right before pulling the pin in a grenade). ** I mean no disrespect to soldiers, I know it’s much more frightening handling a live grenade than it is a hairy lip but for me, it’s pretty traumatic.
I glance over at my girls, they both have their hands over their ears like the damn hear no evil monkeys. I’m not sure if its because they are afraid that I am going to scream in pain and anguish or in anticipation of ear muffs due to the obscenities that may accompany such pain. I chuckle. Of course, I chuckle. It’s hilarious that my kids know me so well.
In unison, as I muster the courage to pull the strip, I hear..”Hey! Ho! Let’s Go…to the waxing show!”
My little boogers..I cracked up so hard, I nearly ripped my nose off! Thanks Rock Band. As of late, my 2 year old can put anything to the tune of Blitzkrieg Bop by the Ramones! I am so proud.
Hope my nose grows back.
What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve had to do in front of your kids?
Did it involve home waxing? 😉
Spreading a little Sunshine!
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I saw this video this morning and it made me smile! Hope it does the same for you! Sometimes we just need to let our super freak come out and play![/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]
Things my Daughters Taught Me
I thought this Motherhood gig was all about me shaping, molding, teaching these little, adorable human beings of mine. I knew it would be loads of work, and it is. It is a grueling 24 hour a day job that never stops. I knew (in theory) that was what I was in for but I never expected what I actually got.As tired as I am most days and holding on for dear life to my last string of sanity, I am always amazed. I never expected to learn anything from my children. Come on, everything they know..I taught them, right? Apparently not. I guess I have to relinquish some of the pride in my nurturing because I have to admit, I’m pretty sure there is a lot of nature in it.For instance, my 2 year old who is so honest at times that she actually scares me.Many times I have asked her to do something and she will simply say no. Ask her why, she will say because she doesn’t want to.In a world full of excuses, this little girl makes none. She is who she is, and that’s who she is..Deal with it! It used to annoy me that she would just say no she didn’t want to.Let’s be honest, us Mommies, we do a lot of things that we don’t want to. I know for a fact I don’t want to do dishes, fold laundry, cook, run errands, pay bills, keep appointments or obligations but that’s my life. That’s being an adult, right? The more I think of it, why can’t I take a cue from my 2 year old in her infinite wisdom. I mean wouldn’t it be the nicer thing to do then to be insulting and come up with ridiculous excuses why you can’t do things. I appreciate her honesty and her braveness with her integrity is admirable. When my 2 year old does decide to help you, it is whole hearted and it is selfless and it is beautiful. From my 5 year old, I have learned to be fearless. I know where she gets this, I do remember a time when that was me.Since having my girls, I have become much less reckless and more cautious because every day with them is the most important of my life. My Bella will do whatever it takes to achieve her goals. It doesn’t matter if it scares the hell outta her, she will pursue it with a fierceness. There is not much she can’t do. In fact, I don’t think there is anything that she can’t do..if she puts her mind to it. Her spirit is free and her heart is open. She loves with abandon and if you are lucky enough to be one of those who she does love; she will walk through hell to make you happy.My daughters have reminded me that I can do anything that I set my mind to.They have also reminded me to have integrity and pride. I am embracing love with full abandon. I am learning to be honest with myself, to be fearless and to relish all that life has to offer. They have also taught me that a child’s giggle, their little hand in yours, a snuggle, a kiss goodnight, their true smile..can melt your heart and make you feel more vulnerable then you ever thought possible. They have taught me that the world is a beautiful, miraculous place where everything is possible.Don’t believe the hype
Who’s the spin doctor for Motherhood? Seriously, who was it who decided to tell us that when we get pregnant we ‘glow ‘ and ‘ never look more beautiful’ ?Did I really , could I really, have been so naive to believe that harboring a fugitive parasite in my body for 10 months could make me beautiful. Saying it out loud sounds ridiculous.You’d think someone with a 147 IQ would have known better. Let’s be honest , when I was pregnant , I felt nauseaus, bloated , fat, ugly, unlike myself , grouchy, mean, horny , hateful, hungry , tired and like I had to pee a lot. But not once , do I ever remember feeling beautiful or glowing . I guess if they told us the truth the species would die out . I guess it’s not all so bad, I did go back for seconds. Pretty sure I’ve learned my lesson now, though . Happy Mothering, may it be all it’s cracked up to be.
-Truthful Mommy xoxo
