The TRUTH About Motherhood

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Fashion Haul Friday ~ Hair, It’s Sexy and it Knows It
Fashion and Hair ~This week’s fashion Friday is all about the hair. Sure, it’s nice to have a hot outfit on but the hair is truly the glue that ties it all together. Shit hair with a hot outfit can destroy the whole thing. If you think I’m exaggerating, try a ponytail with a hot red dress.Not sexy, just sad. Maybe the look could be pulled off with one of those loose and sexy ponys. You know the I just fornicated ponytail that looks like someone just tried to rip it off your head in the heat of the moment as you rolled around in bed. Yeah, that one is sexy. The one we throw our hair into when we drop the kids off in our pajamas…not so much.
My Hair on my Birthday, Fall of 2010
Long, shiny and layered has always been my preferred hairstyle. All boys like long hair, right? Long hair is sexy. Men love to run their fingers through long hair. Isn’t this in the handbook for tween girls somewhere?
I felt pretty with all that long, flowing hair. When I wore it big and curly, I felt even more sexy. But then sometime in the last 6 years, not coincidentally around the same time I became a Mommy, all that beautiful hair spent 97% of the time in a ponytail. What am I, 6?
Sure on special occasions, I fixed it and most of the time it looked awesome. But I have naturally curly hair and a LOT of it, and it’s strong willed and stubborn (consider the head it’s attached to) and has a mind of its own sometimes. So some days it would look great and other days it looked like I had gotten into a wrestling match with my hair…and I clearly lost.
Then all that ponytailing made my hair start to break off, couple that with stress making it fall out. There you have me, forehead turning into a fivehead and my tub looking like kittens were trying to escape down the drain each time I shower. Pssst, I’m pretty sure all that hair boycotting my head decided to be political and occupy my floor. Then this fall, this started happening….
My hair in the fall 2011, a bit matronly and unruly.
The hair completely boycotted ME! Sure, it doesn’t look awful but this was a good day. This was no ponytail.But NO CONTROL. Any other day of the week, I can assure you that I was wearing yoga pants, a t-shirt, and a ponytail. It made me feel ugly. It made me want to be invisible. My hair had always been a source of beauty on me. We all have them, parts and pieces of who we are that we love and adore. For me they were as follows, in no particular order; intelligence, humor, hair, eyes, teeth, boobs and legs and a good fashion sense. But everything else had to come first and I devolved into someone who couldn’t project self confidence and worth if she felt ugly and sub par.
They say that every great change throughout history has started with a very small step. Yesterday, I took that step.
My Hair Today
I haven’t had a haircut in over 6 months and not a decent stylist since before Abbi was born ( she’s 4). I’ve been band aiding my soul with just getting by. Meantime, my self confidence has been being chipped away at an alarming rate. I made up my mind, I bought a hairstyle magazine, found the one I liked, asked Siri for the top stylist in town and voila…new amazing stylist. She was intuitive and receptive to me and what I wanted but reminded me of what I needed. No wonder I was extra comfortable being pampered on their salon chairs. This is the cut I decided on. We cut off 8 inches of my hair yesterday in that Aveda Salon and sent it away to Lockes of Love ( a charity very close to my heart because of my nephew who suffered from leukemia .)
I left the salon feeling lighter, not only freed from the weight of the hair that had been cut off but of the weight of having to figure out what to do with said hair. My hair is currently too short to pull into a pony so I usually just style it with the best mousse for fine hair I can find in the store. I chose this hairstyle because it forces me to fix my hair and form a new habit. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that with this new cut, color and style; I don’t feel like just these precious little angels Mom. I feel like a woman again. I feel feisty, sassy and ,dare I say it, even sexy.My husband absolutely adores it and hasn’t been able to keep his hands off the back, as it is shorter and textured. He told me that he was afraid to put his hands in my long hair for fear of messing it up or getting tangled up in it.
I just want to tell all of you beautiful ladies, who have been wanting to change your hair, the color, the length, or drastically cut it shorter; GO FOR IT! It was so liberating. I feel like there’s nothing I can’t do. I feel like when I go out and people are staring at me, they are staring at how hot my hair is. It just screams run your fingers through my hair. Unlike before, they were staring and thinking to themselves, poor girl really needs to run a brush through that nest.
This haircut was like going to college, it totally liberated me from being who I allowed myself to be preconceived as. I’m happy, I am optimistic, I am sexy, I am Sassy, and I am feisty and loud about the whole thing! What a difference a hair can make.
Don’t forget the giveaway for the Karen Kane $100 GC is still open until next Friday. Please see here for direction and how to enter via. Raffle-copter. My new hair looks stunning with my Karen Kane vest, a long t and well-fitting, good pair of jeans.
2012/01/21
Preschoolers on Twitter
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She just realized that she Tweeted her Home address to a Pedophile
Twitter and the Preschooler~ The French have once again outdone us in the parenting realm. They are so progressive. Apparently, first they go all Bringing Up Bébé on our asses and try to prove that they can get results as good as that of the Tiger Mom Amy Chua without all the beatings and chaining to the piano. Now, they’ve gone and started the bébé’s out in social media before they are even out of diapers. Bravo! Awesome that their kids can tweet “ Ma mère suce”(My Mom sucks) while simultaneously screaming from the toilet for you to come wipe their ass.
Bébes on Twitter
The French are so evolved and cosmopolitan, it’s no wonder all of their women are thin and perfect. They’ve got it all figured out. While we are here obsessing over our love-handles and trying to diet and get healthy, they just eat and smoke whatever they desire and still look amazing in their designer clothing they bought at the neighborhood trunk show. Us poor Americans with our très stupide purse parties and Tupperware, no wonder our kids throw tantrums and talk back. We can’t even get a handle on our socialization skills. Fucking Americans buying our clothes at Target and attachment parenting.
We have no control over our children. We are so busy helicoptering and loving our children that we just don’t know how to Ferberize and mind meld them at the necessary levels to be allowed to use them as accessories. Wait? Why did we have these kids again? Oh yeah, the tax write off of course.
Twitter for the under 5 set
Sorry, I’m off on a tangent. The point is this; there is a French preschool near Bordeaux, France where the 29 preschool students are posting daily tweets. They only post one tweet a day and it is a group project so that all the kids can help decide what to post. Then two of the children are selected to type the actual group composed tweet. It’s supposed to be an exercise in learning the alphabet. What happened? Is our antiquated alphabet flashcards not doing the trick anymore?
The tweets are fairly innocuous tweets like “We gathered snow to see how it turns into water.” Cute right?
I don’t think so. I live on Twitter and I LOVE twitter. I want to have Twitter’s babies but I’m also a saucy foul-mouthed hooligan. Letting preschoolers on Twitter is like dropping a 7 year old off in a bar and then being surprised when they are cursing, smell like smoke, drunk and screaming ” woohoo, that’s my jam!”
Why not wait until they are old enough to have the reasoning skills to handle Twitter. Can’t we just let our preschoolers be kids for a little while longer? What’s the rush?
Preschoolers can’t read or write. It’s sort of like knowing how to insert a tampon without actually having a vagina. Why?
The class Twitter account has 89 followers, most of them parents, the rest of them pedophiles ( probably). If the preschoolers insist on maintaining this account, at least read this post about how to responsibly use Twitter.
What do you think about preschoolers having a twitter account? Is this the natural progression of social media? Would you want your preschooler on Twitter? Would you allow it? Would you be comfortable with your 4 year old composing tweets and sharing thoughts on Twitter?
Twitter a Pedo’s Paradise
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2012/02/22
Like Giving Candy to a Baby~ Candy for Children as Reward for Behavior
Candy for Children as a Reward for Good Behaviors
Candy for children as rewards is like giving candy to a baby, and about as responsible. In a world where kids are being put on diets and touted as being problems for their obesity, how is it tolerated that some teachers are still using sweets as a reward system for educational accomplishments or good behavior? Are you in shock? I am and I am pissed off.
I have encountered teachers who group children into different candy groups and if they accomplish their tasks for the day, they are rewarded with that treat. The treats range from sweet sugary cereals, to skittles, M&Ms, and gummy bears to name a few. Why?
Children accumulate tickets for good behavior or good listening skills, they can then cash the tickets in for sweets or special treats like lunch with the teacher or sitting in a special place. Of course, you have to save a lot more tickets to earn the non-sugary rewards. It is almost as if the children are being encouraged to take the easy reward, the route of instant gratification. Isn’t that how we’ve gotten to the current status of obesity in this country?
Candy for Children as Rewards should be Illegal
I am not a fanatic. I do believe that kids can enjoy the occasional piece of candy, in moderation. Candy is not the devil but it is also in no way a necessity in a child’s life. Candy for children as a special treat is fine but it should not be used as a reward system and given and withheld dependent on a child’s achievements. By doing this, we are teaching children to associate food with celebrations and achievement. We are teaching our children to eat their feelings. The 6 year old buying chocolate to celebrate knowing her addition facts is the same 500 pound woman who will be drinking a 32 ounce coke in the morning to “celebrate” waking up.
From personal experience, I know how hard it is to change your path of bad eating habits once they are learned. Those children that the teacher is giving candy and pop ( oh yes, they can earn tickets for pop too! I don’t even allow my girls to have pop at home and all they need to do is earn enough tickets, for doing what they are supposed to be doing anyways, and they can buy soda pop and candy at free will) to are being expected to have self- control that is most likely beyond their maturity level. I think it’s ridiculous. I have had to sit my daughter down and explain that she is not allowed to purchase ‘treats’ at school that she is not allowed at home. I also explained the effects that sugar has on your health, your teeth, the sugar highs and crashes, etc.
This is being done in a first grade class. What first grader do you know that wouldn’t eat themselves sick on sugar if given the chance? I’m pissed that they are given this option. Aren’t there nutrition guidelines enforced on school lunches for this very reason? This teacher’s reward system, undermines the entire shift in nutritional focus.How would you approach the teacher? I’ve told my daughter not to take the candy and she listens. But why should she have to feel punished? I think the candy should not be an option. What do you think about candy for children as a reward system for good behavior and good grades?
Candy for Children as Rewards should not be an option
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2012/03/05
Live Like A Lorax
How do You Live Like A Lorax?
What are you planning on doing with your children to help save our planet? Can’t we all stand to be a little greener? I KNOW we can in my house. Sure I take steps to be kind to the earth but when I get too busy or things get “inconvenient” all the “Green” goes out the door. This Earth Day, I am re-committing to taking some steps (with my children) to be kind to the earth. Are you? (more…)
2012/04/10
Unexpected Pregnancy at 40, What Would You Do?

What would you do if you found yourself with an unexpected pregnancy at 40?
I’m not talking about the run of the mill “planning to plan” unexpected pregnancy or we were “not using birth control but thought we were careful” surprise pregnancy. I am talking about the “I was 13-years-old having my first sexual encounter” unexpected pregnancy or the “I’m 40 and thought we were done having babies” unplanned pregnancy of the “oh shit” variety. The life-changing, game changer unexpected pregnancy.
The choice of what to do next.
Unplanned Pregnancy at 40 can bring with it a little shock and awe
My friend just found out that she is unexpectedly pregnant. This will be her third child. Her other two children are tweens. This baby was not planned. They thought they were completely passed the diaper changing, middle of the night feeding stage.Yet, here they are smack dab in the middle of an unexpected pregnancy; shocked, confused and scared.
READ ALSO: Every Child Is A Choice
She and I have talked about this a lot. The Big Guy and I have gone back and forth over the years pondering 2.5 children. We have been blessed with two amazing, healthy wonderful daughters but even though the prospect of a third ( trying for the elusive boy baby) sounded good, it was nothing either of us would actually pull the trigger on, so to speak.
Now, our girls are 4 and 7 and it feels like the time has passed and the window of opportunity is closed. I’m 39, just like my girlfriend. At this point, a baby would be starting all over.
An unexpected pregnancy still results in a baby
Initially, when she told me I was shocked, quite frankly, because it was such an unexpected pregnancy but I was excited because ..it’s a baby! Then the more I thought about it and the more we talked, I was scared for her. Getting pregnant in your 20’s or 30’s is not the same as getting pregnant at 40 unexpectedly.
There are things to consider like genetic disorders for the baby, higher health risks for the mother and how old the parents will be when the child is growing up. The looks and questions that will come with having a child after 40? Strangers asking if you are his/her Grandma? Things I had never considered in my scenario.
READ ALSO: Missing that New Baby Smell when Pregnancy is not an Option
You have to consider your long-term financial outlook and you have to consider that perhaps, you or your husband, are not willing or wanting to be a parent to a third child; not willing to go backward in your parenting journey. You are suddenly faced with a decision of whether or not you should move forward with the pregnancy.
You are not the same person you were in your 20’s and 30’s and your body is not what it was in your 20’s and 30’s. Is it selfish to logically weigh all of your options? When you are in your 20’s and 30’s the threat of a genetic disorder is a far off, probably not going to happen, when you are 40 the stats are something like 1/100 that your baby will have Downs Syndrome.
READ ALSO: My Unexpected Pregnancy at 39 and what I did
I know people will reference Kelle Hampton and Nella. Or what a gift Nella is and what an amazing mother Kelle is but not everyone can emotionally or financially afford a baby with a genetic disorder. What would you do? How could you choose? And worse, what if the choice were taken out of your hands by your body failing you and terminating the pregnancy?
My friend has decided to go forward with her surprise pregnancy and embrace it as her final baby. But it’s raised a lot of questions in my mind, what would I do if I were faced with an unexpected pregnancy? Have you ever been faced with a surprise pregnancy? What did you or would you do if you found yourself with an unexpected pregnancy at 13 or 40? Would abortion ever cross your mind?
If you become pregnant unexpectedly, see your healthcare professionals and ob services as soon as you can so that a plan can be put into place.
Could your unexpected pregnancy be a blessing?
2012/04/11
The Kindness of Strangers
The past week has been the hardest of my life, thus far. I’ve been walking around in a surreal state of existence since last Monday, only half-feeling my grief.
I can’t seem to get the ultrasound image of my perfect baby out of my head. He looked so peaceful. In my heart, that was my baby boy.
The girls have been distracted. I’ve gone out of my way to keep them occupied. Partly because I don’t want to see them sad, partly because I can’t survive another round of my 4-year-old ugly crying telling me that maybe if she loved the baby more, the baby would still be alive. My heart can’t handle being broken into too many more pieces or it may never heal.
I’m not crying constantly anymore. I’ve spent most of the last week in a Vicodin induced fog and I’m all right with that. I need the physical and emotional pain dulled. Each ache and pain is a constant reminder of what I’ve lost.
People are afraid to talk to me and when they do, I see the pity and sadness in their eyes. I’m able to talk about it now, a little bit. I still can’t say the word miscarriage aloud without crying. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around all of this. It’s hard. I’m trying to see the purpose but I can’t make myself understand.
One thing has gotten me through without jumping out of my skin or curling up into the fetal position and dying, and that is you. All of you. Your love, support, kind words and endless prayers have given me the strength to survive this tragedy. People I have known my entire life, my parents, my family, my friends and my beautiful husband and children have been here to love me, to hold me and to give me the space I needed to muddle through.
But you have given me a steady stream of reassurance and by sharing your stories of your own losses; you have made me feel not alone when I have felt the loneliest of my life. When I felt my whole world was spinning out of control and I was losing sight of any hope of normalcy, you have been my touchstone. A terrible thing has happened to me but through it, it’s been made clear to me how blessed I am in my life by the people I know. You are all so much more than just readers, followers and people I know on the computer, you are friends because only a friend could show such genuine love and continued compassion. Your words have saved my life and my sanity. Thank you does not seem to express the gratitude and love I feel for what you all have done for me in this past week but it’s the only words I have, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.
2012/05/07
The First Day of My Life
What do you say to the man who has given you everything? Tuesday, the Big Guy and I celebrated 13 years of marriage. I don’t even remember my life before he came into it. He is truly everything, I never knew, I always wanted. Laugh if you will but he does complete me.
I was not a whole person before I met him. He saved my life.
I grew up with a very difficult childhood. It was rough and there was a lot that I missed out on and even more than I didn’t even know existed. I never knew what unconditional love between a man and woman looked like. Before him, everything was about control. Somebody had and someone else didn’t.
With him, I learned that giving all of myself means to get everything in return.
I grew into who I was supposed to be when I met him. He accepted me and loved me for everything I was and everything I will never be.
He gave me the courage to go after my dreams. The love and support to know I could do anything. He gave me my greatest gift of all, my girls.
When I am down he lifts me up. When I need space to feel my feelings he does it even if he wants to fix it for me.
My life began the day I met him. In my darkest moments, he has been my rock. He has loved me through the good, the bad, and the ugly; the easy and the hard times. He’s loved me when I was at my best and loved me even harder when I was at my worst. When I am too weary to carry on, he picks me up and carries me.
Baby, I love you beyond reason and borders. Words cannot do justice to the depth of my love for you. It is immeasurable.
Thank you for so much but especially thank you for helping me to survive the past month. I know you are in pain too but you put me first and that is just the type of man you are.
I am so blessed in so many ways, even when life crashes down around us. I know that it will be all right because you will be there to take my hand and lift me up.
I will love you forever and for always, for all that you are and all that you do and most of all for all the unconditional love that you give me. The day that I met you was truly the first day of my life. Everything before that is a blur.
Thank you for loving me when I’ve felt my most unlovable. Thank you for teaching me what it means to truly be loved and to love completely. I am so blessed to share this journey of life with you. XOXO

2012/05/17
Insurance Scam has Doctors Performing Unnecessary Hysterectomies on Poor Women
Unneeded Hysterectomies Change a Woman’s Life forever
When have unneeded hysterectomies being performed ever been moral? When did the world become so full of morally bankrupt men? If you have ever had a hair up your ass about women’s reproductive rights in the world, this is the time to really get mad. We need to get full on pissed off and say no more. We are women not animals or property, we don’t belong to men. Government has no business getting between our legs. For once and for all, stay out of our vaginas!
In India, less than respectable, doctors are performing illegal and unneeded hysterectomies on the poor women of India. I don’t mean “poor” as those poor women, I mean “poor” as in financially downtrodden. I mean poor as in they don’t have the means to refuse any medical treatment offered to them by a doctor, even if the solution to his made up problem is a complete removal of their uterus and ovaries. Who are these animals to do this to women? Why are they performing unneeded hysterectomies like they are going out of style, shirking their Hippocratic oath and removing the very essence of what makes most of us feel like women? For money!
Yes, India, the country who has already received multiple throat punches from me for aborting and killing their female babies simply due to the fact that they have vaginas versus a penis. The same country who has ultrasounds strategically placed on every corner so that perspective parents can get a refund if their unborn child has not won the Indian genetics lottery which means they are a boy. The same country who has men who still think it’s okay to mutilate the genitalia of it’s women and shackle them into chastity belts. Now, the doctors are taking it upon themselves to remove the women of rural India’s wombs by giving them completely unneeded hysterectomies because the hospital can claim the hysterectomies under a national insurance scheme. Even going so far to remove the ovaries which increases the risk for early onset of osteoporosis.

Doctors in the Indian state of Chhattisgarh performed hysterectomies on poor village women without a valid medical reason in order to claim money from a national insurance scheme, the state’s health minister said on Wednesday.
Under the program launched in 2008, doctors can claim up to 30,000 rupees ($540) to treat poor families, providing a safety net to help pay for expensive hospital surgeries. But critics say the program was exploited by unscrupulous doctors.
“The women were deliberately ill-advised by doctors who removed their uterus to get money,” Amar Agrawal, Chhattisgarh’s health minister told Reuters.
“As per my information the doctors have so far managed to make roughly 2 crore (10 million) rupees ($360,000) in recent months by removing uteruses without any valid medical reasons.”
The state government examined 1,800 hysterectomies performed in the impoverished state as part of an investigation into the alleged scam. Many of the operations were suspected to have been performed illegally, government sources told Reuters.
Does India hate it’s women? Or is this a growing trend in the world, where men hate the female population, or at the very least have no respect for women as being human? The world is going backwards my friends. Don’t think this just happens in third world countries someplace across the world. Make no mistake, it happens right here in the United States as well. Maybe no unneeded hysterectomies are being performed as an insurance scheme, but women are under attack. Our reproductive rights are being stripped away, piece by piece and our human worth has been compared to animals. We are in a day and time in history, when women are having the male agenda shoved down our throats and thrust into our vaginas.I am sad and sickened by the state of the world and women’s rights. We need to stand up and stop allowing ourselves to be abused by the male governing powers. We need to fight back and say no more.
India’s Unneeded Hysterectomies violates Women’s Rights
Today it’s India, performing unneeded hysterectomies, purposely aborting female babies and abandoning of killing those who survive birth. Tomorrow, it’s here…women being compared to swine, government sticking their nose into our vaginal business; how we should reproduce, when we should reproduce, if we should reproduce. This is between a couple and God. Government has no fucking business in our reproductive rights. Give women our full human rights first and then we can talk about government having any input on reproductive rights.
Throat Punch to the unscrupulous doctors in India who are performing these unneeded hysterectomies for money. May their license be stripped and may they be castrated by the women whom they have reproducibly hobbled for the rest of their life.May you be put in jail and may all of your reproductive tools be removed while you sleep, unsuspectingly. May you know the pain of having no control over the choices made on your behalf.
Just because a woman is poor financially does not give any man the right to take away her choice to have children and become a mother or determine when, why or how she has the children. Men, it’s not your fucking business. We are not children, you have no right to make choices on our behalf. You have no right to punish us because you feel that our choices don’t live up to your expectations. A woman’s reproductive parts are something that we hold as dear to who we are as men do their reproductive parts. Boo on you for thinking you know what is better for women than we do for ourselves. You have no right to end abortion or give unneeded hysterectomies for money.

Unneeded Hysterectomies is a Violation of Human Rights
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2012/07/19
How to Know if You have ADHD
Estimated reading time: 7 minutes
As many of you are aware, I recently discovered I’m not a scatterbrained mom – I’m a full-fledged, card-carrying member of the ADHD club- neuro spicy women’s chapter. And let me tell you, it’s been a wild ride of self-discovery. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering whether your constant forgetfulness is just “mom brain” or something more, you’re in the right place. We’re about to dive into the wonderfully chaotic world of adult ADHD, and trust me, it’s more common than you might think. But how to know if you have ADHD or mommy brain?
The ADHD Revelation: It’s Not Just for Kids
Here’s the thing: ADHD doesn’t care about your age, your gender, or how many tiny humans you’re responsible for. In fact, many women don’t get diagnosed until adulthood, often after becoming moms. Why? Because we’re masters of masking our symptoms, and society has conditioned us to believe that being scattered and overwhelmed is just part of the mom gig.
But let me tell you, there’s a difference between normal mom stress and ADHD. So, let’s break down some signs that your brain might be more “ADHD” than just “mom tired.”
How to Know if you have ADHD
Sign #1: Your To-Do List is More Like a Wish List
You know that to-do list you made with the best intentions? The one that’s now buried under a pile of unfolded laundry and half-eaten goldfish crackers? If your to-do list feels more like a mockery of your productivity than an actual plan, you might be dealing with ADHD.
ADHD brains struggle with executive function, which is fancy science talk for “getting stuff done.” We have trouble prioritizing tasks (everything is equally urgent to us), managing time (we easily go down rabbit holes and get time blindness), and staying focused ( it’s not that we’re not focused, it’s that we are focused on several things all at the same time so nothing gets our full attention). It’s not that we don’t want to be productive; our brains just have a different operating system. So while neurotypical moms might forget to buy milk occasionally, ADHD moms might forget they have kids. (Kidding! …mostly.)
Sign #2: You’re the Queen of “Ooh, Shiny!”
Does your attention span resemble that of a goldfish on espresso? Do you start cleaning the kitchen, then suddenly find yourself reorganizing your sock drawer, only to end up googling “Do penguins have knees?” three hours later? Congratulations, you might be experiencing the joy of ADHD-induced distractibility!
Our ADHD brains are like channel-surfing toddlers with the remote control. Everything is urgent and there are so many thoughts to be had. How can we be expected to just choose one? We jump from task to task, idea to idea, faster than you can say “Oh look, a squirrel!” It’s not that we don’t want to focus; our brains just have other plans. It’s not a lack of interest or motivation; it’s just how our brains are wired.
Sign #3: Emotional Rollercoaster? More Like Emotional Tilt-a-Whirl
If your emotions change faster than your toddler’s favorite color, you might be experiencing what the ADHD world calls “emotional dysregulation.” One minute you’re on top of the world, the next you’re crying because you can’t find matching socks. (Pro tip: mismatched socks are a fashion statement. You’re welcome.) Also, in retrospect, it is no wonder they first misdiagnosed me with Bipolar. The emotional dysregulation is hard core.
ADHD brains feel emotions more intensely and have trouble regulating them. It’s like having an emotional volume knob stuck on maximum.This isn’t just mood swings; it’s a core feature of ADHD that can make everyday life feel like an emotional obstacle course. So if you find yourself going from zero to “Hulk smash” in 2.5 seconds, it might not just be sleep deprivation talking.
Sign #4: You’re a World-Class Procrastinator (But Also a Last-Minute Superhero)
Do you put off tasks until the absolute last minute, then suddenly transform into a productivity goddess fueled by panic and caffeine? This is the ADHD procrastination-hyperfocus cycle in action.
ADHD brains often need that adrenaline rush of a looming deadline to kick into high gear. We’re like productivity werewolves – dormant until the full moon of impending doom rises, then BAM! Suddenly we’re cranking out work like nobody’s business. It’s not laziness; it’s a quirk of our neurochemistry. The downside? This cycle can be incredibly stressful and hard on our mental health.
Sign #5: Your Memory is Like a Sieve (But Only for Boring Stuff)
Can’t remember where you put your keys, but can recite every line from that one episode of Friends you saw 15 years ago? That’s ADHD memory for you! Our brains are great at remembering things we find interesting or emotionally significant, but terrible at recalling mundane details.
So while you might forget to pick up your kid from soccer practice (hypothetically speaking, of course), you can probably remember every detail of that embarrassing thing you did in third grade. Thanks, brain! This isn’t just forgetfulness; it’s a reflection of how ADHD brains process and prioritize information. It can be frustrating, but it’s also why many people with ADHD excel in creative fields or become walking encyclopedias on their favorite topics.
Sign #6: You’re the Master of Lost Things
If your house resembles a black hole where objects mysteriously disappear, never to be seen again, you might be dealing with ADHD. We have a special talent for putting things in “safe places” that are so safe, even we can’t find them again. This isn’t just clumsiness or carelessness; it’s a result of inattention and difficulty with working memory. It can be maddening, but it’s a common ADHD trait.
Pro tip: If you ever need to find something important, just sit down to do another task or back track ( you will surely stumble back onto the thought that led you down the path where you misplaced that important thing). Guaranteed, the lost item will magically appear the moment you’re too busy to deal with it.
So, What Now?
The Road to Diagnosis and Beyond
Now that you can recognize these symptoms in. yourself, you can start to differentiate whether you have ADHD or “mom brain”. If you’re nodding along to these signs, thinking, “Oh my god, this is me!” don’t panic. Here’s what you can do:
1. Get evaluated: Find a professional who specializes in adult ADHD. The evaluation process can be long and detailed, but it’s worth it. Knowledge is power, and understanding your brain is the first step to working with it instead of against it.
2. Embrace your ADHD traits: Sure, ADHD can be challenging, but it also comes with some pretty awesome characteristics. Creativity, resilience, the ability to hyperfocus on things we love – these can be our secret weapons when properly channeled.
3. Find your tribe: Connect with other ADHD moms. There’s nothing quite like the relief of realizing you’re not alone in this wild ride. Online communities, support groups, or even just talking to friends can be incredibly validating and helpful.
4. Develop coping strategies: Whether it’s setting a million reminders on your phone, using color-coded systems, or breaking tasks into smaller, manageable chunks, find what works for you. ADHD management is all about playing to your strengths and working around your challenges.
5. Be kind to yourself: Remember, your ADHD brain isn’t a defect; it’s just differently wired. Treat yourself with the same compassion you’d show a friend. Negative self-talk only makes things harder.
Living with ADHD as a mom isn’t always easy, but it can be an adventure. It’s about learning to work with your brain instead of constantly fighting against it. So the next time you find yourself standing in a room wondering why you’re there, or starting yet another project at midnight, just remember: your brain might be chaos, but it’s beautiful chaos.
And let’s be real – our ADHD quirks often make us the fun, spontaneous, creative moms who come up with the wildest ideas for family adventures. And hey, if nothing else, at least you’ll always be the fun mom who comes up with the craziest ideas for family game night. Silver linings, right?
My ADHD diagnosis was both a shock and a relief. It explained so much about my life, my struggles, and my strengths. It’s been a journey of self-discovery, frustration, and ultimately, acceptance. And you know what? I wouldn’t trade my ADHD brain for anything.
So, if you’re suspecting you might have ADHD, don’t be afraid to seek answers. Understanding your brain is the first step to embracing your unique, beautiful, chaotic self. And remember, whether you have ADHD or not, you’re doing an amazing job, mama. Stay fabulous!
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find my keys. Or my phone. Or my sanity. Whichever I come across first.
2024/06/24