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  • A Field trip, a Goat, and a Gas Leak

    Last Thursday (10/7/10) was Bella’s first field trip. It was to be to a farm with a pumpkin patch at which all the children were going to be able to pick out a small baking pumpkin. Apparently, the $5 fee for the patch only covered gas for the bus not necessarily any type of pumpkin of  any value, aesthetically or otherwise. It was very exciting. I, of course, volunteered to chaperone. After all, I couldn’t let my baby go off on a bus to God knows where, with God knows who, doing God knows what without being privy to every second of it. We arrive at school,only to find out that the chaperones are not allowed to ride the bus. We have to car pool and meet them there. So much for sitting on the bus with her, holding her hand and taking it all in . I remember when we were little it was required that chaperones rode the bus to help keep the wily kindergartners in control.Apparently, rampant chaos is what they go for these days. After, hitching a ride with the coolest mom I could find and a quick stop at Starbucks ( I told you she was COOL) we met the kids as they were pulling away in the bus bound for the pumpkin patch. Oh, did I forget to mention after being awoken at 5 am by an eager kindergartener, my reward was for the teacher to tell me to go away until 8:20. The kids go into class at 7:50, what the hell were we supposed to do for 30 minutes?Anyways, I am digressing. It started out a little bit of a cluster fuck. I thought maybe my expectations were too high being this was my first field trip as a chaperone.

    After much debate,against  my better judgment, I left the house that morning armed with only my Point and shoot camera versus the behemoth that I usually sport to any occassion concerning my girls. I thought maybe the teacher would frown upon a chaperone who was preoccupied being the stalkarazzi when she was supposed to be protecting little ones from flying pumpkins, crazed goats, and bee infested horse corals.I left my beloved memory recorder by the front door. Of course, once we arrived at the field trip and I was assigned my 2 children, the teacher issued an APB for a volunteer to take photos. What?? Just so happened that the chaperone who is actually a photographer ( by profession) forgot her camera and the teacher..forgot hers. I had my POS but not really what you want as your memory recorder. Luckily, the cool Mommy that I hitched a ride with had her professional grade camera in the back of her SUV. So funny because we had the conversation on the way in whether or not we should bring our big gun cameras. Needless to say, she became the designated photographer of the day.

    The children were having a blast; picking apples off the trees, eating sunflower seeds fresh from the sunflower, picking fresh raspberries, swiss chard, lettuce,carrots, and with each thing the tour guide showed them she encouraged the kids to ” Go ahead, try it! It’s fresh!”The crazy in me wanted to say, “Hell no! That’s dirty!” People, I am not a country girl. Not by any stretch of the imagination, other than being a Mexibilly. The south has had the misfortune of being my host state for about 6 years of our marriage.I can positively say Tennessee was probably as happy to see me go as I was to leave. The south is beautiful, but it is full of fresh and wide open.Tall trees.Bugs.Wild turkeys. Cows. Pigs. Chickens. Bears.( and not the kind that play football on Monday nights),snakes, and More Bugs!
    So,when the kids were told to eat all the off the vine food all I heard was here is some bugs and dirt kids….Enjoy!

    The kids are loving every moment of their bug, dirt munching. Its all fun and games until they start asking the chaperones to ” Come on try some” Most adults would probably bite the bullet and say, “Oh Ok” in the spirit of being a good example and all. Not me! Sorry folks, I don’t do dirt and I certainly do not do BUGS! Ewwww! Now, maybe if one of my kids’ life depended on it..I’d eat a bug or a little dirt. But, as a rule, I refuse to model behavior that I don’t approve of in the first place. So, just as the kids are beginning the barn part of the tour, all the children simultaneously get a gleam in their eye that signals certain mutiny and chaos are imminent..I blame all the fresh air and mass quantities of fresh picked bug and dirt infested food that they had just consumed. Just as the kids are let loose to terrorize the animals, as children are running off in all directions of the barn yard petting stray barn cats, feeding apples and carrots to the horses, lettuce to the bunnies, corn to the pigs and goats, being chased in every direction by squawking chickens, I scan the joint to find my Bella and the little boy I was assigned. Just in time to see her about to walk face first into the horses mouth and the little boy about to be mauled by a couple attention starved goats. Luckily the horses and goats were close to one another, I grabbed both kids and saved them from becoming fresh food themselves:) Boy, chaperoning chaos is hard work. Thank God for that extra shot in my Toffee Mocha that morning. Then came the most exciting part of the field trip, we were called back to the school due to a gas leak in the entire downtown area, school was being evacuated…actually, the entire downtown was being evacuated.

    We were ordered by divine intervention to cut our field trip short.I was all about it. All that fresh air was making it hard for me to breathe and I am pretty sure I was breaking out.But we had one last stop, or hell would have certainly broke out amongst the tiny farm lovers all hopped up on fresh air and homegrown goodness…the pumpkin patch. After, the fastest hay ride ever to the nearest pumpkin patch, all children were instructed to find 1 small,firm, round, green stemmed pumpkin. Of course, they jump out and all run through the vines, tangled up and dropping like flies. I was picking them up and helping them wrestle the pumpkins of their choosing from the vines..now, this was serious chaperone business. It might have been nice to know that I would be needing gloves and a box cutter. No? It’s Ok, I love picking pricks out of my fingers…for the children. After we wrangle all the children back up to the hay truck, we then speedily exit towards the bus. After all, this isn’t all fun and games…downtown has been evacuated because of a gas leak. School could be blowing up for all we know. I let out a sigh of relief as the last kid exits the truck and heads towards the bus, without a single casualty.

    Then it happens. The guy driving the truck looks at me and says, “You know, they weren’t suppose to pick those big pumpkins. We were supposed to take them to a field with the small pumpkins but due to the emergency we just took them to the nearest field.”He is very straight faced and not joking. All I could think was I just wrangled 25 kids through a pumpkin patch without a single broken face or skinned knee, I just saved a kid from a crazed goat and a carnivorous horse, and you what Mr. Hay ride driver? Mr. Fresh fruit eater? You want me to compensate you because you took them to the wrong patch? Umm, OK FAWK YOU Mister. I almost had to eat fresh off the vine, bug infested, dirty raspberries. We’ve all made our sacrifices!Now, go feed a pig or something. I ‘ve got to go pick up my car from a lot that may or not be exploding as we speak! The nerve of some people! Hey farm boy, go suck a pumpkin. Wait? Where’s my kid? Oh shit, is she eating more dirty fresh lettuce? Happy Mothering!

  • Never Compare Yourself to Another Mother

    Never Compare Yourself to Another Mother

    I am absolutely giddy that today one of my favorite Mamas in the blogisphere is gracing the page at The TRUTH about Motherhood in celebration of my 2nd Blogiversary. Peryl Manning, better known from her highly popular blog Parenting Ad Absurdum .

    “An irreverent, humorous and honest look at what it is truly like to parent small children, the highs and lows, the thrilling parts and the not-so-thrilling-at-all parts.”

    Peryl is the awesome Mommy to two spirited young boys. On any day you can read about a variety of topics ranging from little vampires ordering blood off the Starbucks menu to the correct protocol on how to name a Canadian baby. No matter the topic, Peryl will deliver it to you with grace and poise. She’s the lady who has the magic touch and can make any pill easier to swallow.Do yourself a favor, check her out. Peryl can also be found on Twitter. Thank You so much for sharing your sage advice with us, Peryl! XOXO
    Parenting Ad Absurdum Gives advice, Peryl Manning, www.motherhoodthetruth.comThe Truth about Motherhood
    My advice

    So, my advice to other mothers, if you were to ask for it, which you probably didn’t (first off, really, my advice would be never give other mothers advice, because most of the time, you’re just going to tee them off – but I’m incapable of following this rule myself – I’m a writer, which means I find it impossible to keep my opinions to myself)….But anyway, if you happened to ask for my advice, it would be this: Never, but never compare yourself to another mother. If you compare yourself negatively, you’ll get depressed, and if you compare yourself favorably, it will only come back to bite you in the behind.
    For me I learned this when I had my second boy. All of the euphemisms that I had privately used to describe other people’s children like “spirited” and “willful” and “pain-in-the-ass” came home to roost in my chicken coop. I now had the toddler who climbed the shelves in Safeway, who had a tantrum in Target when denied pop rocks, and who now, as a three-year old, is sassiness personified. And I am usually six feet behind him. alternately losing my cool and pretending I don’t know him.
    And when I get the dirty looks from other shoppers as he slides under their cart, or knocks down a pyramid of wine bottles, I remember my own inner judgy-judgerson, and smack her upside the head. Because no matter what you see on the outside, every mother has a full, well-rounded story as interesting and complex as your own. If she appears to be losing her mind – she probably has good reason. And if she appears to be perfection personified, she’s probably so tired she just tried to to put the milk away in the dishwasher. So give her, and at the same time yourself, a little latitude, and a big, big break.
  • Soleil Moon Frye Happy Chaos from Punky to Parenting

    Soleil Moon Frye Happy Chaos from Punky to Parenting

    Happy Chaos ~ Isn’t that the exact spot where most mothers reside? I do and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Recently, I had the distinct pleasure of meeting (via Skype) the star of one my favorite childhood TV shows,(no, not Ricky Schroeder though that would certainly be nice too:) Soleil Moon Frye…PUNKY BREWSTER!Is it wrong that I was so geeked to speak with her? If it is, I don’t want to be right!

    Happy Chaos, Soleil Moon Frye

    In a way, Soleil Moon Frye never stopped being Punky, the fun- loving star of the 1980s hit television show Punky Brewster. In the real world, she’s the mom with the inside-out shirt and bits of playdough in her hair, who can’t remember where she parked the car. She balances being a mom with a hundred other tasks associated with running her eco-friendly clothing store The Little Seed, hosting her web series on HerSay.com, advocating for causes close to her heart, and being Target’s Mommy Ambassador, to name a few. As Twitter and Facebook communities can attest, Soleil’s life is messy and chaotic, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. Her book, HAPPY CHAOS: From Punky to Parenting and My Perfectly Imperfect Adventures in Between (on sale August 23,2011) is a refreshing take on modern parenting that encourages moms to be themselves and to embrace the inevitable madness of raising kids and living a full life.

    I met Soleil while being a Hot Topic guest on HerSay. She is as sweet and spunky as you could have imagined. She is very down to earth and talking to her felt like talking to one of the mom’s you might meet at the park or in one of your child’s Kindermusik classes. I was very excited when I found out that she was writing a book Happy Chaos From Punky to Parenting and My Perfectly Imperfect Adventures In Between ( in stores TOMORROW August 23,2011). The book is a refreshing take on modern parenting that encourages moms to be themselves and to embrace the inevitable madness of raising kids and living a full life. I’ll take one please.

    Happy Chaos is the place between perfection and destruction where bliss exists

    Soleil believes that “happy chaos” is a sign of a family operating at its best—when parents accept that they’ll make mistakes, there will be messes, tears and skinned knees. Her over 1.4 million Twitter followers know just how much Soleil lives this philosophy as she often shares with her real and virtual friends and family how she navigates the various obstacles of parenthood.

    I had the opportunity to interview Soleil about her parenting style and am sharing them here with you. Hope you enjoy getting to know Soleil on a more personal level as much as I did.

    What is the most profound way in which having your children has changed your life?

    I learn more and more each day from my children and I never imagined they would be life’s greatest teachers. Amen sister!

    If you were only allowed to leave your girls with three life lessons, what would they be?Why?

    The lessons would be

    1) to stay strong and always self-confident

    2) to be kind to others and the world around them.

    3) to love completely and not be afraid or fearful of what’s to come. To embrace every moment and lose themselves in the dash in between. These three lessons are amazing and I think every mother can relate. I know I certainly do.

    How has your perspective on parenting and the world changed from before you had your girls? What do you do or not do that you never thought you would before giving birth?

    Before kids, I thought I was going to be the total hippie laid back parent. I guess I am a bit more protective than I ever thought I would be.  Aren’t we all? Who knew having our hearts walking around outside our bodies would be so monumental.

    Happy Chaos is where true happiness lives

    Happy Chaos comes out tomorrow ( August 23,2011). I am giving away one signed copy to a lucky follower of The TRUTH about Motherhood. All you need to do is GFC follow The TRUTH about Motherhood or email susbscribe and leave me a comment about your own Happy Chaos (please include your email address). A winner will be chosen on Friday August 22, 2011.Or you can click Here to be one of the first moms on the block to own a copy of

    Happy Chaos

  • Eating Out in Philly with Kids: Our Favorite Places to Eat

    Eating Out in Philly with Kids: Our Favorite Places to Eat

    You can’t exactly take your tot to a bar for happy hour or to the corner pub for wings and beer. But, taking your family out to eat is an essential part of life. Eating at restaurants with kids is inevitable whether you’re going on a date night, meeting your in-laws, or need a break from cooking after school. Cities like Philadelphia are packed with fantastic eateries, including the best Philly cheesesteak, but many don’t have kid-friendly menus or aren’t considered family-friendly. As a result, parents who want to treat their child to dinner may feel conflicted about where they can go. However, there are a ton of great kid-friendly restaurants in Philly that offer fun and relaxed atmospheres while also serving delicious food!

    Shake Shack

    Shake Shack is a great place to go when you’re craving burgers and fries. Its menu is filled with classic American fare, including a mouthwatering selection of burgers and crinkle-cut fries. The restaurant also offers shakes and a wide selection of beer, wine, and milkshakes. Given the variety on the menu, there are tons of options to please all palates. Shake Shack also has a great kid’s menu that includes milk or juice with every meal. Parents can also feel confident bringing their young ones here as it has a relaxed atmosphere and is relatively easy to access with a stroller. What to know: Shake Shack has a kid’s meal with a toy, crinkle-cut fries, and apple juice or milk. Also, check out Shake Shack’s allergen guides to see if your child can eat the food.

    Bluefish Seafood Restaurant

    Bluefish Seafood Restaurant is the place to go if you’re looking for a fancy night out with your family! Located in the city’s heart, Bluefish is an expensive seafood restaurant offering a wide range of gourmet fish dishes. Parents can bring their little ones to Bluefish as the menu is full of kid-friendly options, including a whole menu section dedicated to Little Bluefish. Little Bluefish offers tasty dishes for the little ones, including lobster mac and cheese, fish and chips, and shrimp cocktail. Bluefish also provides a selection of sides for the adults, such as brussels sprouts, creamed corn, and mashed potatoes. Bluefish has a large and spacious dining room, making it easy to bring a stroller or baby carrier. What to know: Bluefish has a kid’s menu that includes whole lobster, fish, shrimp cocktail, and mac and cheese. Check out the allergen guide to see if your child can eat the food.

    Chick-fil-A

    When you want a quick and easy bite, head to Chick-fil-A. The chain is known for its delicious fried chicken sandwiches, spicy buttered biscuits, and frozen lemonade. Chick-fil-A has an expansive menu filled with kid-friendly options and is open until 10 pm on Sundays! Parents can bring their kids to Chick-fil-A for a quick bite at any time of the day. This restaurant has a relaxed atmosphere and an interactive Kids’ Zone to keep your little ones busy while you enjoy a meal. What to know: Chick-fil-A has a kids’ meal that includes a toy, a kid’s milkshake, and a choice of a side. Check out Chick-fil-A’s allergen guide to see if your child can eat the food.

    Harry’s Bar and Grill

    If you’re craving a burger and fries but also want a fancy night out, head to Harry’s Bar and Grill. This upscale restaurant offers a variety of American dishes, including a mouthwatering selection of burgers. Harry’s also has a wide selection of drinks, including an extensive wine list. Parents can bring their young ones to Harry’s as the restaurant has a relaxed atmosphere and ample space. In addition, the restaurant has a kids’ menu with tasty options, including mac and cheese, chicken fingers, and penne pasta.

    Harry’s has a dessert menu filled with ice cream sundaes and milkshakes! What to know: Harry’s has a kid’s menu that includes mac and cheese, chicken fingers, and penne pasta. Check out the allergen guide to see if your child can eat the food.

    Johnny’s Dock

    If you’re craving seafood but don’t want a fancy meal, head to Johnny’s Dock. This casual restaurant has a menu filled with traditional seafood dishes and classic American fares such as burgers and sandwiches. Johnny’s Dock also has a selection of hearty soups and salads. The restaurant has a casual and spacious atmosphere, making it an excellent place to bring your family. Parents can also feel confident bringing their young ones to Johnny’s Dock as it has a kid’s menu packed with tasty options. The menu includes a burger, a hot dog, mac and cheese, and chicken fingers. What to know: Johnny’s Dock has a kid’s menu that consists of a burger, a hot dog, mac and cheese, and chicken fingers. Check out the allergen guide to see if your child can eat the food.

    Bottom line

    When you want to treat your family to a nice meal out, it can be challenging to find a kid-friendly place. Philly has a wide variety of kid-friendly restaurants, including traditional American, seafood, and burger joints. No matter what you’re craving, a great kid-friendly restaurant is nearby!

  • Working as a Parent and How to Manage it

    Working as a Parent and How to Manage it

    When you have children, your entire world changes in ways that you never could have imagined. This is completely normal and understandable. At the end of the day, you’ve brought a little being into this world who is going to be entirely dependent on you for many years to come, and who will lean on you for the rest of their life. That’s a whole lot of responsibility. You’re inevitably going to find yourself changing your day-to-day tasks and routines in order to accommodate them and provide them with everything they need to grow and thrive. You’ll see your social schedule changing, your family schedule changing, your day-to-day tasks and to-do’s changing… the list goes on. But one area that can change drastically when you have a child is your work life and career. Here’s some information on what you may expect and how to manage your work around your little one.

    Parental Leave

    If you are in an employed role, most countries entitle you to some parental leave when you bring your child into this world or when you adopt a child. This gives you time to recover from any physical processes involved, as well as being able to care for a new dependent or familiarise them with their new home and environment. Make sure that you’re fully aware of the rights that you have in regards to this. Different countries have different rules and allow different periods of time off, paired with different levels of pay and support for time taken off. Knowing what you are entitled to can help you a lot, ensuring that you can enforce your rights and experience the benefits you’re entitled to. It can also help you to create a timeline regarding how long you’ll be able to spend at home with your child and how you’re going to want to spend and manage that time. Finally, it allows you to start looking into childcare options in advance of heading back to the workplace if this is what you’re planning on doing.

    Working vs. Staying at Home

    Of course, not everyone has the option of giving up work when they have a child. But it’s important to consider your options and what appeals most to you. Some people will want to get back to work as soon as possible, as their careers mean a lot to them. Some may want to give up work in order to focus on their child. Neither is a wrong or right answer or path to follow. It’s entirely dependent on a whole host of personal factors. One thing to consider is the cost of heading back to work vs. staying at home as a stay-at-home parent. When you go back to work, you will be earning an income, but also have to consider the costs of childcare. You may need to earn over a certain amount to make working financially viable, as childcare costs in many areas can be high. Alternatively, you may be able to turn to a family member for support, or your workplace may offer payment of childcare costs or childcare contributions. Staying at home means you may not earn an income, but don’t have to worry about childcare costs. Weigh up all of the different factors to determine what’s best for you and your child.

    Remote Work

    Remote work is becoming increasingly common and is an option that allows you to work from your own home. This is becoming increasingly preferred by many parents, as it allows a host of perks that benefit both them and their child. Of course, when you work from home, you still have to work, so this doesn’t mean that you will be paid to take care of your child, or that you will be able to work without having to consider childcare. You may still need to find childcare for your little one while you’re concentrating on your work. But the benefits are that you don’t have to worry about spending time or money on the commute to and from a workplace elsewhere. This frees up time and cash that could be spent on other things, such as your little one. You also have access to your personal space during your breaks, which could be used productively, such as quickly putting a wash in, preparing some elements of dinner and more. Consider searching for remote positions if you specialize in a role that can be completed from home. Some companies also offer hybrid roles – where some days are spent working on site and some days are spent working from home – that allow flexibility.

    Flexible Work

    Some workplaces are more strict than others. Some will require you to be working at specific times and available at specific times. Others allow more freedom, simply stating that you need to log your working hours and can do so throughout the course of the day. If you require more flexibility with your working hours – perhaps you need to drop your child to school, clubs, appointments and more – you could look for a company that’s going to be more flexible with you and your needs. Alternatively, you could try to arrange this with the company you already work for. Many will oblige, as long as you state when you are and aren’t available in your calendar. This can make managing your work life alongside your personal life a lot more simple and straightforward. This can also work well with shift work. You may be a nurse in Uniform Advantage Cherokee scrubs, which means you have to work on a face-to-face basis, but your shifts could be arranged around your individual needs.

    After School Clubs

    Often, children finish school before the majority of adults finish work. This can cause issues if you’re unable to collect them from school when you’re still meant to be on shift. But this, of course, is an extremely common challenge many parents face. This is why many schools have offered up after-school clubs and extracurricular activities. They will keep your child in school and provide them with entertainment, fun and games until you are ready to collect them. Not only is this fun for your children, helping them to enjoy themselves around others of their own age and develop new skills, but it means you don’t have to worry about arranging external childcare or collections.

    Summer Camps and Sessions

    Another challenge that working parents can face is school breaks and holidays. Children get a lot more breaks than adults do – often around special occasions or summer breaks. They will be off school, but you may still be required to go to work. What happens here? Well, many solutions have been offered up as this is a problem that many parents would otherwise struggle to negotiate and manage. Common activities for children during these breaks include daily activities, where your child can be dropped off in the morning before you head to work, or camps, where children can stay for a longer and more extended period of time.

    Support Networks


    As with any element of being a parent, it really is important that you have a good support network around you to help you through the process of working and parenting at once. This network will differ between one person and another, and there’s no right or wrong way of managing it. There are some people who will rely on their partners to split responsibilities. Some people will rely on family members and friends for support. Remember that you are never alone. If you don’t have these individuals to count on, you’re by far not the only person to feel this way. There are others out there who will be more than happy to help, from other parents to support groups and more.

    Relaxation and You-Time

    If you are working and parenting, chances are, you’re pretty exhausted. Nobody is superhuman and you’re going to find that you definitely need some time away from both activities to let your hair down and recuperate. This is why scheduling some relaxation time and you-time is important on a regular basis. This can vary from one person to another, as different people unwind in different ways. It could be something as simple as getting up a little earlier than your kids to enjoy a hot drink and the news or a TV program. It could be waiting up a little after they go to bed to have a bath and soak. It could be splitting childcare on weekends so that one weekend you may take care of someone else’s kids, but the next you can look forward to an afternoon or evening spent to yourself doing what you want to do – whether that’s a meal out, cinema or simply a long, well-deserved nap. You don’t want to overload yourself and experience burnout, as then you won’t be able to look after yourself or your little ones.

    As you can see, working and parenting are two draining activities that can be quite difficult to manage at once. But it is possible. Hopefully, some of the advice above will help to guide you on this journey, taking the paths that best suit you, your children, your lifestyle and your needs. Give them a try and see how things improve!

  • LatinaMom

    LatinaMom

    Client:  Latina Mom

    Website:  https://mom.me

    Task:  Freelance Writer

    https://mom.me/contributors/deborah-cruz/

  • 10 Tips How to Not Become an Internet Casualty

    10 Tips How to Not Become an Internet Casualty

    I don’t want to become an Internet casualty. As a Lionlock ambassador, I take password and online security very seriously. Safety online is not just needed it is imperative in my line of work. As a blogger, I am in the business of sharing my life out loud on the Internet. Even as someone who has been doing this for years now and as an adult, I still have security slips. I sometimes forget that the Internet is forever and I get caught with my metaphorical pants down.

    You know that saying, “A moment on the lips, and forever on the hips”? Well, the Internet is JUST.LIKE.THAT! We are so trusting of the Internet that we often forget that a moment on the Internet truly is FOREVER in the world. You can delete and undo all sorts of things but you are always just a screen grab away for being immortalized in Internet infamy. Those private sexts you sent to your ex? There is no such thing. You say Snap Chat? I say screen grab. That nasty comment you left and then deleted? Already sitting in someone’s inbox. That petty FB update about your soon to be ex? Yep, his lawyers already have a copy in their file. The cute naked photo of your toddler in the bathtub that you uploaded and promptly second-guessed and took down 5 minutes later? Some pedo is already getting his rocks off to it. There is no privacy online.

    We’ve all put something on the Internet that we wish we hadn’t. It’s embarrassing and we get over it. It’s like going to a party, drinking too much and wanting to crawl under a rock and die the next day when you see the proof on Facebook. It might not ruin us, but it might. None the less, we’d prefer those moments stayed private because we are left feeling compromised and vulnerable. Unfortunately, there are no second chances on the Internet so you have to know going in that everything you put on the Internet is set in stone for eternity. No matter how badly it may differ from reality.  The Internet knows you from glimpses, social media shares and sound bites. There is no emotion, connotation, context or empathy. There is only what you say, what you share and what it sees. The Internet is a cold-hearted bitch and she doesn’t get innuendo or anecdotes. So what you put out there is who she thinks you are. So be safe and think before you go online.

    While LionLock automatically audits any interaction that takes place with your passwords in the vault, it is still important to use common sense when sharing any important private information.

    Here are a few online security tips to keep you from becoming just another Internet casualty.

    1. Keep a Clean Machine

    Keep all Internet connected devices free from infection and malware by keeping all critical software—security software, web browsers, apps and operating systems—up to date so that you can counter any new viruses lurking.

    Have your security software set to monitor your computer continually, not just a weekly scan.

    2. Protect Your Personal Information

    Secure your accounts by making passwords long, strong and unique.

    3. Own Your Online Presence

    This is my favorite. I am very transparent; probably more so than I should be, but I know when I put it out there that it is out there. I consider this every single time I post anything. Set security and privacy settings to your comfort level of sharing.

    4. When in Doubt, Throw it Out

    If an email, social network post or text looks suspicious, even if you know the source, delete it.

    5. Be Web Wise

    Be wary of communications that implore you to act immediately, offer something that sounds too good to be true, or ask for personal information.

    6. Be a Good Online Citizen or Don’t be a Web Douche canoe

    Post only about others what you would have them post about you.

    7. Beware of public Wi-Fi ( hint: There is no such thing as FREE wi-fi)

    Anytime you use public Wi-Fi, keep in mind that everything you do can be visible to a 3rd party/stranger that is also connected to the network. Criminals can see everything the users do and capture any information that is sent over the network. Find a staff member at the coffee shop or hotel that can verify the name of the proper network. Also disable auto-connection features when Wi-Fi is not in use.

    8. Save money matters for your trusted networks

    Even if you’re not on a compromised Wi-Fi hotspot, it’s really best to wait until you’re back on a secure network you trust before shopping or banking. If it’s an emergency and you need to move funds from one account to another, use your cellular data connection rather than public Wi-Fi.

    9. Use Secure Sites (Https://)

    Secure SSL connections are connections that encrypt any data you send through a website, adding a layer of protection for your private information. There are a couple different ways that you can check to verify that a site is secure. The first is that you’ll notice the https:// turns into https://, with the s indicating it is a secure network. Additionally, there should be a padlock displayed in the URL bar.

    10. Secure your mobile devices

    In addition to installing security software on computers, it is equally important to have a mobile security app, for your mobile devices. These apps will help your mobile devices stay secure by detecting security flaws in your apps and preventing you from clicking on malicious links.

    The Internet is a wonderful place to live and play but it really is what you make it. Just like your home, you wouldn’t go on vacation and leave all the doors and windows open nor would you announce to the neighborhood gossip that you have syphilis. So use your common sense and take precautions to protect yourself online just like you would in your real life.

    How do you keep yourself from becoming just another Internet casualty?

     

     

    Photo Credit: Ellen von Unwerth

    Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post on behalf of Lionlock but all opinions are my own. Don’t be an Internet Casualty!

  • Simone Biles Chose Mental Health Over Olympic Glory

    Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

    Simone Biles did the unthinkable for an Olympian athlete, she withdrew from the individual all-around competition at the Tokyo Olympics to focus on her mental health just a day after her dramatic withdrawal from the team competition. While I found it initially shocking, not because of why she withdrew but that she chose to walk away at all, especially in a world that marginalizes mental health. Simone Biles chose mental health over Olympic glory. I find her to be incredibly brave and the kind of role model our daughters need. What I really found shocking is some people’s negative reaction to it.

    “I have to do what’s right for me and focus on my mental health, and not jeopardize my health and well-being,” the decorated athlete told reporters.

    To be clear, putting your mental health first is hard, especially in a society that values being number 1 over almost everything else. Quitting is seen as a weakness. We are taught from birth to work hard to achieve our dreams with no regard to the sacrifice and cost to ourselves. Everyone else in the world is competition and our goal is to win. But when you fight that hard to win, something will get lost, often ourselves.

    I was talking to someone and their reaction to the Simone Biles situation was that, “she choked and she is selfish because she chose to quit rather than to continue on as part of the team. She took a spot that could have been given to someone else. She threw away an opportunity. She let her team and America down.” This person was visibly annoyed. This person who is not an Olympic athlete nor a competitive athlete. This person who very single-mindedly admonished her for “giving up.” I was flabbergasted because where I saw strength and courageousness, this person saw weakness.

    As someone who struggles with her own mental health, as many of us do especially after this pandemic, I can assure you that Simone Biles choice to withdraw was probably one of the hardest decisions that she’s ever had to make. Gold medals are cool and every Olympic athlete spends their life training, sweating and sacrificing in hopes of winning one and the glory and recognition that it brings in their sport. So for her to choose her mental health over her pride is telling and one of the most mature and mentally healthy things I’ve ever witnessed.

    Simone Biles chose mental health over Olympic glory and it’s the bravest thing ever.

    In all actuality, Simone put her team first by knowing her own mental and physical limitations. Biles confirmed she was not injured but felt her poor vault would jeopardize the team’s chances for a medal. “I felt like it would be a little better to take a back seat, and work on my mindfulness,” she said. “I didn’t want the team to risk a medal because of my screw up.”

    Biles admitted that the stress of competing at the Tokyo Olympics, the mounting burden of competing at a pandemic Olympics after the past 16 months of lockdowns and restrictions, may have finally taken its toll.

    According to Time, days after arriving in Tokyo, an alternate on the team tested positive for COVID-19, and another alternate was placed in isolation because she was a close contact. “Today was really stressful,” she said. “The workout this morning went okay, it was just the 5.5-hour wait—I was shaking, and barely napped. I’ve never felt like this going into a competition before. I tried to go out, have fun and after warming up in the back I felt a little better, but once I came out here, I felt, no, the mental is not there. I need to let the girls do it and focus on myself.”

    We talk about privilege and as a Mexican American woman I’ve felt how privilege works against those who don’t have it firsthand. It wasn’t until within the last 5 years that it hit me just how different it is to be a white man and a Latina woman. For example, I will never know what it feels like to walk down the street alone at night and not feel afraid.

    I had no idea that privilege extended to mental health and those who don’t struggle so easily look at those who do as weak. We are not weak; we are strong we learn to bend as to not be broken. If you are really strong, you fight to be your own advocate and that is exactly what Simone Biles did. Backing out wasn’t giving up, it was standing up for her own well-being.

    I struggle with my own mental health issues and I’ve had to do a lot of work since my diagnosis 20 years ago. It’s taken a lot of time, understanding, patience, therapy, education and learning to love myself enough to do what needs to be done in spite of what others expect. Intuitively it feels selfish to choose me over others but if I don’t choose myself, my own health and mental health, as a priority who will? I am my own responsibility and I am responsible for my actions. More importantly, I am responsible for my family and if I can’t take care of myself, how can I take care of them?

    The past year has been trying on everyone’s mental health. There has been a shift in the way we think. Everyone is a potentially deadly threat due to CoVid. Being in public is exhausting and it’s impossible to feel safe during a world health crisis. Anxiety and depression are a symptom of the new normal. It’s no one’s fault, it is what it is. It’s lingering after effect of the pandemic that every single one of us has been touched by because it is impossible to be normal when nothing else is.

    It is counterintuitive for us to choose ourselves over society’s expectations. As humans, especially as Americans, our default setting is that we choose glory over our own good. We choose to push through over sitting with. We want to be the best at all costs. To save ourselves, we have to unlearn all of this to be the stronger and better version of ourselves because, to be honest, the default settings suck. They only work if you want to be a basic bitch with no free will of your own; no responsibility for yourself. It’s brave to choose you. It took a lot of courage for Simone Biles to recognize her limits and withdraw from the competition. She didn’t give up. She did the hardest thing possible, she publicly chose her mental health over what other people perceive as her responsibility.

    As a society, we need to change the narrative. Choosing your own health, mental or physical, or your own dreams over the limited expectations that the world holds for you is good. It’s the hard decisions that make us who we are. Going along with something that is detrimental to your health and mental well-being is the most insane thing you can do. If you’re doing that, stop it.

    If she had continued on in the Olympics and ended up having a full breakdown, the world would have gasped and said, she should have told someone and withdrew, the Olympics are not worth her sanity. She would have been embraced with empathy but since she made the brave decision to know her own limitations and quit before she was broken, she is being criticized for letting her team down.

    The world is a duplicitous place and the people who cry when someone commits suicide and asks why they did it are the same people who mock those who set boundaries they don’t understand. Simone Biles didn’t do a selfish thing and choose herself, she chose the right thing for her and her teammates. She made the hard choice for the right reasons. We should all take a lesson from Simone Biles and choose our health over what other people expect of us. I’m glad our sons and daughters get to see her choose her mental health over a gold medal because that’s much more important than winning. You don’t get to be GOAT without being a trailblazer and she is without a doubt GOAT for life.

  • The Lost Girls of Autism

    The Lost Girls of Autism

    April is Autism Awareness month. Did you know that? I didn’t. To be honest, I don’t know a whole hell of a lot about the ins and outs of autism and what a diagnosis means for parents and children who live with it. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I am not directly affected by it ( that I know of because maybe I have just not paid enough attention). The most interesting thing I’ve learned as a girl mom is how autism is different in girls than boys and how to recognize autism in girls. Did you know it looked different?

    I do have friends who have children, more than 1, who are autistic but even though I know them, their children and spend time with them, I ask on a need to know basis and listen when they want me to but I never wanted to pry to the point that I make them feel uncomfortable. I know that sounds like a lazy excuse but I swear, I didn’t want them to feel like they needed to educate me. I’m a Latina/woman/ with a mental health diagnosis…I don’t appreciate having to be anyone’s token anything so I try not to put others in that position. 

    What is autism?

    I’m fully aware that every child with or without autism is different. However, I was assigned a post for Cafemom this week about things everyone should know about Autism and, in my research, I reached out to my friends and asked for help and credible resources and I learned a lot. A lot. I’m so grateful for this assignment. 

  • 4K that will take TV Viewing to the Next Level

    4K that will take TV Viewing to the Next Level

    I have been compensated in the form of a Best Buy Gift Card and/or received the product/service at a reduced price or for free.

    As many of you may know, I am a little tech crazy. I always want the latest and greatest tech available. It’s a disease; I caught it from my husband. I swear, when I met him in college he practically had to pry my hands off of my word processor because, hello, who needs a computer when you could type all of your research papers on a state of the art word processor. However, that is no longer the case. I want all the newest tech gadgets and I want them now.

    One of my favorite things about the evolution of hi tech is that it is about more than just new innovation Samsung SUHD TV. It’s about taking your television experience to the next level. If you are looking for home cinema installation company in Toronto, you can visit https://tvwallmounting.ca/ in order to benefit from high quality tv installation and tv mounting services at affordable prices.

    The 4K is more than just a television it is a viewing experience which is visible immediately if you’ve had the chance to  just go to a Best Buy and check it out for yourself.

    Here are a few features that I think we could use to complete our vacation.

    • Reveal more colors and a brighter picture with Samsung 4K SUHD TV – all powered by a revolutionary panel featuring Nano-crystal technology.  The immersive curved screen portrays a greater sense of depth.  Easily access the content you love with the advanced Samsung Smart TV.
    • You can enjoy a brighter, more true-to-life picture with a wider range of colors
    • Peak Illuminator Pro for enhanced picture detail and color
    • Improved black levels and contrast for a greater sense of depth
    • 4 times the resolution of full HD

    Do you love twitter parties? @BestBuy and Brand Ambassador @dodomesticdad will be hosting an SUHD Twitter Party on Thursday June 9th at 7:00pm CST. Feel free to join the twitter party for a chance to receive Best Buy gift cards.

    If you shop at select 4K special events, you can even experience this amazing product in person in the store. Right now, you can see an exclusive sneak peek of Jurassic World in Samsung Entertainment Experience Shops inside Best Buy.

    And don’t forget to register for our twitter party on June 9th, 2015 at 6/9 at 7PM CST. RSVP here: https://bit.ly/1ecE5Ru

    I’ll be there, I hope you are too!