The TRUTH About Motherhood

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I’ll Miss His Smile
There are people who come into our lives and make it better, people who make you want to smile. They might not do anything in particularly special but to you those simple actions; a kind word, a crooked smile or a hand and heart of support make them everything to you. These people matter and when they are gone, the space is empty and the emptiness left in their spot is felt. I’ve known this emptiness: when I lost my uncle Narciso, when I lost my uncle Ramon and when I lost my third pregnancy.
Yesterday, our beloved Monsignor suddenly passed away in his sleep. He had the flu and then, he was gone. We’re all in shock. We’re all in mourning. We don’t understand and it’s hard to accept, as it always is.
You see, he was more than just the leader of our parish, he was like everyone’s favorite Grandfather. He was a genuinely kind man with a smile that put you at ease and made you feel like everything was going to be okay. His voice was comforting and he carried himself in a way that was confident yet humble. He was all of this and more but the thing that I adored about this man the most was the way he loved the children. It was a genuine adoration and fully reciprocated by every single child who attended our school in the past 30 years.
My girls go to Catholic school. I was raised in the Catholic church. Priests have always been a part of my life, my family’s life but never on this level. Growing up, our father was someone who we saw on Sundays. Growing up, the Father of our church was on one level and we were on another. It was not a human relationship, it was more of leader and worshipers. Nothing like our relationship with Monsignor.
My children saw Monsignor almost daily. He was the living, breathing heart of the school. All the students were his children. He’d been at the parish and the school for 30 years, so even the parents were like his children. Most have known them since they were small children and attended the school.
He had a special way of talking to children and adults alike that made them feel special and important. When he did the children’s mass, he always got down on their level and talked to them like they were people. He always listened to what they had to say. He never took himself too seriously.
When I joined the school board a couple years ago, I got to know him on a different level; on a human level and I have to say, I loved him for his humanity. I loved that he was openly fallible and that behind closed doors he could crack jokes and give us a hard time, just like any dad would do. But the thing I will never forget is his smile; that kind and soothing smile that put you at ease and made you feel like no matter what you did wrong, God would forgive you and Monsignor wanted you to know it was all going to be okay. Words cannot convey exactly what I am feeling at the loss of this man, all I know is that there is a hole in my heart where he used to be.
My daughters are gutted. The entire parish family is mourning and it feels like nothing is quite right without him here. He was retiring at the end of this school year but he said that he wanted to stay near his “family”, us, his children, and so he had bought a condominium in the neighborhood behind the school just so he could be near us always and still visit and now he’s dead and all we have left are the memories of him.
We’ve been talking about Monsignor a lot the last couple of days and sharing stories about what we loved the most about him. It’s hard to believe he won’t be giving mass again. He won’t be greeting us with his kind smile and gentle eyes. He won’t be sending us into the world with his reassurance and fatherly love anymore but he will always be in our hearts.
I’d like to believe that, if there is a heaven, he’s there with my uncles having a good time and keeping watch over the baby I never got to hold and one day, I’ll get to see them all again.
Until then, I will miss his smile.
2016/08/25
Throat Punch Thursday~ 10-year-old Girl gives Birth Edition
10-year-old Girl Gives Birth, say what?
What is the world coming to when a 10-year-old girl gives birth? Where have all the adults gone in this scenario? Why was no one taking care of this little 10-year old-girl? She is supposed to be playing with baby dolls, hanging out with friends and awaiting puberty. A 10-year -old girl should not be giving birth to a baby; she is practically a baby herself. There are so many deserving recipients of today’s Throat Punch Thursday but I was particularly taken aback by this story, probably because I have daughters of my own.

The headline, “10-year-old Girl Gives Birth in Colombia” is one that begs to be read and further investigated. According to Primer Impacto, a 10-year old girl who lives in Colombia, reportedly arrived at a hospital in the past week bleeding and in a great pain.This visit to the emergency room was her first prenatal care visit. The baby, which was full-term, required a Caesarean section in the birth, doctors told Primer Impacto. Perhaps this was because she is a child and her pelvic area is still growing not meant to be large enough to pass a baby through her vaginal canal, like a grown woman’s might be. Doctors said that she did barely understood what was happening in the moment she was giving birth. The baby was born a 5 pound 6 ounce baby girl that was 14.5 inches long. The mother ,herself, is only 4 foot 7 inches tall. It scares me even more that the baby was a girl because what does that mean? Perhaps, in 10 more years, we will read about her giving birth or worse, maybe by then it will not be shocking but expected for children to be having sex and giving birth.
The 10-year-old who gave birth is a member of the Wayuu tribe, an indigenous group in the La Guajira Peninsula in northern Colombia and Venezuela, which reports say has kept quiet about the pregnancy and about the identity of the baby’s father.
Colombian authorities told Primer Impacto that they are considering various ways to address the girl’s pregnancy, and any charges against the father.
Authorities said that the tribe follows its own laws, and that law enforcement and elected officials are trying to balance how to handle whomever impregnated the girl with showing respect for the tribe’s sovereignty.
Respect for the tribe’s sovereignty? Where was the respect for this child and her innocence? Where was the respect for her body? Where was the respect for her childhood? Screw the tribe’s sovereignty, apparently they can’t keep their monsters on leashes.
10-year-old Girl gives birth, no one protected her
My throat punch does not go to a 10-year-old girl who gives birth.My Throat Punch goes to the very much deserving 15-year-old animal who had sex with a child and got her pregnant. It goes to the parents who did not keep close enough watch over their baby girl or protect her from the monsters of the world. My throat punch goes to the Wayuu tribe who have protected the identity of the animal who raped this child and impregnated her and who have decided that it was consensual sex. How can a child give consent on something she does not even understand? WTF? It also goes to the Wayuu tribe who probably will not prosecute this man. A hefty throat Punch also goes to our society who tries to rationalize co-ed sleepovers, children having sex at 11 and 12 years old, kids thinking that oral sex is not sex and therefore its fine to do, and giving condoms to elementary school aged children. If I hear one more lazy parent tell me that we need to provide children with condoms so that they don’t get STD’s or worse, get pregnant ( because lazy parents certainly don’t want to be bothered or burdened with grand kids) I just might scream. We need to protect our children, we need to talk to our children, we need to parent our children! **I am not talking to you parents who do it all right and explain sex, birth control and the consequences. I know there is only so much that we can do. We teach them but we can not be with them 24 hours a day. We have to parent and keep an open dialogue. If they don’t listen or heed our parenting, that is something different entirely. I’m talking about the parents who bypass the hard part of long talks and aggravation and go straight for passing out condoms.
Why do we need to accept this as status quo? Why do we just need to let this happen? Giving condoms? You are helping it happen. Being too lazy to parent your children? You are helping this happen. I’m here to tell you that kids having sex at 11 and 12 is not normal. Teach your kids to have some control. Teach your kids some consequences. Parent your kids and teach them some morals. Protect your kids from the pedophiles and perverts that lurk. Teach your children that if someone tried to have sex with them when they are children, there is something wrong with that person…not that child. Let them know they can talk to you. We have to take responsibility for the state of our society. We are not helping our children by teaching them that it’s fine to be sexually active as long as they wear a condom. That is teaching them that they can do anything they want without consequence.
This little girl is just a product of our society. She is a child who was taken advantage of and not protected, when she should have been. The problem is not 10-year-old girls giving birth. The problem is animals allowing 10-year-olds to be objectified sexually and other animals acting upon that objectification.

Hope you will link up your Throat Punch Thursday posts with me. I wanted to extend a personal invite to all of you to link up any posts in which you air a grievance, call out any asshatery,or just dole out a well deserved throat punch to one of societies shortcomings or political douche canoes. If not this week, I do it EVERY single Thursday and would love for any or all of you to join in! All you have to do is grab the Throat Punch Thursday button ( listed under the “about” tab at the top of the page), put it in your blog post and link up!
What do you think about a 10-year-old girl gives birth?
10-year-old Girl gives Birth, not the first or the last

2012/04/12
How to Give Back this Thanksgiving
I’ve decided that I want to give back. Thanksgiving is in 3 days and it’s had me reflecting on all that I have to be thankful for in my life. I have my health, my family, people who love me and people to love. I have a roof over my head and food in my belly. I have the means to meet all of my children’s needs and that is a gift in itself.
The things I’m most thankful for are not things at all but people, my husband and children. Without him, this life would not be possible. Without him as my partner in this life, I’m not sure that I’d be who I am today. Since he came into my life, he’s been my soft place to land in the hard times, my biggest cheerleader in the down times and my constant supporter to go for my dreams. He’s given me the courage to be myself.
He gave me wings to fly in life. He showed me that I could do anything and be anything that I wanted and that’s a gift that I can never repay.
He’s the man who wakes up at 5 am to help me prepare Thanksgiving dinner and stays up until the wee hours of the night to hang streamers for birthday parties and wrap presents on Christmas ever. The man who learned how to decorate in fondant just so his 3-year-old could have the cake she wanted. The father who walks in the door exhausted from a 10 hour day and still gives the girls piggy back rides or pushes them on the swings until they say stop. The daddy who gets up at 2 A.M. just to rub away growing pains or de-lemur under the bed of a little person with a nightmare even though he has to get up for work at 5 am. He is a good man.
He lets me breakdown in those terrible hard moments of life and shields my wounded heart when I can’t. He always listens even when I’m rambling about absolutely nothing and never tries to fix me. He thinks I’m beautiful even when I feel my ugliest. He knows all of my weaknesses and never reminds me of them.
He always loves me unconditionally. He puts our family first even when that requires him to completely rearrange his life. He tells me he’s proud of me and I never wonder where I stand. He’s gentle, patient and understanding and I haven’t gushed about anyone this much aside form my children. I know that even if I had nothing else in the world, I have everything that I’ll ever need.
In 4 days is the biggest shopping day of the year, Black Friday, and I have so much to be grateful for that it’s made me want to give gifts that give back. Why not give meaningful gifts that make a difference not only in the lives of the recipient but also in the lives of those who produce the product. Win; Win.
Macy’s went to Haiti shortly after the January 12, 2010 earthquake and realized that despite the devastation there was an artist community that existed and was eager to bring their product to market. They launched a product line for sale at Macys.com and in stores, which employs 400 artists, paving the way to help rebuild the artisan sector of Haiti’s fragile economy by employing a Trade-Not-Aid system.
Initiatives like Heart of Haiti and the work Macy’s is doing gives Haitian Artisans a sustainable income and fulfilling lives. These artisans are able to create beautiful, unique handcrafted items using only the scraps and materials they have around them.
I have a few pieces from the Heart of Haiti collection that I have collected over the last few years and I can honestly say, they are some of my favorite pieces in my house. I am particularly fond of the metal pieces.
If you’re going to be shopping anyways this holiday season, I would highly recommend that you consider buying a piece from the Heart of Haiti collection and not only feel good about giving someone you love a piece of high quality handmade merchandise but in knowing that you are giving an artist in Haiti the means to take care of their loved ones this season. Shouldn’t we all have something to be thankful for this holiday season?
Heart of Haiti can be found and followed on social media at @HeartofHaiti on Twitter and www.facebook.com/heartofhaiti on Facebook.
How will you give back?
2014/11/24
How Being a Father Has Changed Me
Continuing on with the celebration of the 2nd anniversary of The TRUTH about Motherhood, I am excited to introduce you all to today’s special guest writer, Josh of DadStreet.com.
My name is Josh, I’m an East Coast Transplant currently living in Monterey, California.
I’m completely and utterly in love with my children and when I’m not drooling over them I’m doing one of the following: drinking wine, taking pictures, playing with my iPhone, listening to an audio book, trying some kind of new food, surfing online, sleeping, watching TV, yappin’ on the phone, and last but not least trying to spend quality time with “The Boss”. Oh, and I’m extremely sarcastic so please note that about 92% of what I say is crap. True crap but crap nonetheless…
I “met” Josh via Twitter and he is a really funny guy with a great sense of humor, a deep love for his wife and children and pretty damn snarkilicious for a Daddy. What’s not to love,right? So, if you are not familiar with Josh, please do yourself a favor and stop over at www.DadStreet.com and check him out. I would also highly recommend that you follow him on Twitter, he is a great conversationalist and will keep you on your toes. Thank you Josh for celebrating my 2nd blogiversary with me and sharing your TRUTH about Fatherhood!
My Truth: How Being a Father Has Changed Me.
I’m in love with more than one person. Growing up I wasn’t your typical “dude”. For whatever reason I could only date one girl at a time. I don’t mean I’d go out with one girl at 5:00 and then another at 6:00. I mean, I’d always wind up being in a relationship with one girl, never dating around. The thought of having feelings for more than one person at a time was just too confusing for me. So there was no way I was going to juggle multiple girls. It came as a surprise to me that I could love anyone other than my wife as much as I do. Then even crazier was the notion I could love more than one baby. I was so guilty when my wife was pregnant with Jake. I was guilty because I felt like I was taking away something from O in order to give it to Jake. Oh the guilt! You’d think I was a Jewish mother I had so much guilt. Oy Vey! But you know what? I can love more than one person and I do! I love them all so much and each in their own way. I’ve learned love is not quanitifiable and it knows no boundaries, certainly not when it comes to my family.
I’m scared to death and fear nothing. Oh the things that scare me now that I’m a dad. Moving cars in parking lots, sharp objects, choking hazards, stairs, illnesses, disease, crime, old playground equipment, unfriendly pets, earthquakes, fire, Hello Kitty, and Barney. Okay, the last two scare me but not quite like the rest. The thing is becoming a dad made me realize how important these two are to me. The thought of anything happening to them is almost inconceivable and just the remote thought of something bad fills my eyes with tears. The reality though is quite different. I know I don’t need to fear these things. My babies can rely on me. I will take care of them. With everything in my power they will not fall victim to those things in my control.
I’m relied on regardless of how reliable I am. Before being a dad I could goof up (often), make careless mistakes (often), and act irresponsibly with little recourse. I’ve learned though that’s not going to be on the menu now. Nope, Jake and O rely (very literally) on me for everything from food, water, and shelter to learned morals, values, and integrity (among many other things). I have to be responsible now. I owe it to them, they demand it, they deserve it, and they shall get it. Might I slip up? Might it take a while to get this kid (at least the bad parts of this kid) out of me? It might but I’m going to give it my best and demonstrate to them what a reliable Dad looks like.
I’m selfish but my children come first. I never thought of myself as a selfish person before. Though it’s funny what you find when you actually look in the mirror. I don’t think I was selfish in a mean, screw you kind of way. It was more of an absent minded, I’m a big idiot kind of way. Having Jake and O has made me realize they need to come first. I had my time to myself first and now it’s time for them. That doesn’t mean I should neglect my own needs, of course. Just that my priorities need to be focused with their best interest in mind, they are my priorities now.
I want to teach but haven’t been taught. A few months back I realized how awful our financial situation was. I realized how many changes needed to take place, and fast. One impetus for the change was that I wanted our children to be financially independent. I didn’t want them to know what debt was. I didn’t want them to be like their dad when it came to finances (at least the old me). How could I teach them to be fiscally responsible if I couldn’t be myself? I knew I had to first learn before I could teach. This of course doesn’t just apply to finances but every important thing I want to pass on.
They had no choice, I do. For the last 3 years and 2 weeks I’ve been a father. My children didn’t have a choice who their father was going to be. For most of my life I’ve known we had choices in which we make that determine where we go. However, I wasn’t living that way. Since having become a father I’ve started to truly grasp what it means to have a choice. Many things have happened to me that I had no control over. Things in the future will continue to happen to me and to my family under which we have no control over.. How I respond to these things, however, is directly in my power. I have the choice to be the person I want to be. I choose who I am.
I want to be the father I want my children to have. I’d always wanted children, from a very young age.. I’d always thought about what it would be like having children. I never thought so much about what it would be like to be a father though. I have very high expectations for the type of father I want Jake and O to have. Traits I’d want for their father include:
Honesty, Integrity, Responsibility, Sensitivity, Thoughtfulness, Intelligence, Down right funny, Active, Supportive, Educative, Inspiration, Spirituality, Compassionate, Energetic, Charitable, and Dependability to name a few. Yeah, that was more than a few but who’s counting?
Am I all these things now? No, but I’m working on it and the important thing is I now know what it is I’m working towards. We live our lives building what in the future will become our legacy. Many of us will build our legacy without ever knowing what it was. Being a father has taught me that I decide who I’m going to be and I determine what that legacy will be. Now that I know what I want my legacy to be as a dad, I can pave the road to it.
I want to show my children that they can build a path to whatever destination they want in life. They can’t begin to build that path though if they don’t know where they’re going. I know where I want to be and I know where I’m going. I will take my children with me and teach them the same. I have begun to learn what being a dad has taught me about myself. I know that I will continue to learn, as being a dad is as much about teaching our little ones as it is about learning from the experience.

2011/05/04
Wholesome Breakfast on the Go for the Entire Family
Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Jimmy Dean through their partnership with POPSUGAR Select. While I was compensated to write a post about Jimmy Dean Delights, all opinions are my own.
I’ve been working hard this year to get my family and myself in good health. I’ve started working out (as someone still recovering from a broken leg, that in itself has been no small feat) and watching what I eat and being mindful of the portion sizes that I am consuming. I’m changing my life, one day at a time. It’s not been easy, as anyone who has ever tried to lose weight and get in shape after the age of 30 can attest to. Progress has been slow but steady.
The hardest part has been relearning what to eat and being mindful of labels. Suddenly, my philosophy of eat whatever I want and work it off later isn’t working like it used to. Now, I realize that things like cholesterol, fat, sugar and protein all factor in to how healthy my food is and in turn, I am. It’s no longer simply about a number on a scale. It’s about feeling beautiful, comfortable and strong in my own body. That’s what I want.
I’ve been trying a lot of new recipes, altering old ones and trying to find an exercise that I actually enjoy doing because I’ve realized that if it’s too much trouble or too hard, I simply don’t have time to fit it into my hectic schedule. I have kids, a husband, a job and a million and one other things to do every single day. You know how it goes.
My hardest transitions so far have been to stop eating late at night and remembering to eat breakfast. Being an insomniac means that I’m up later than most people and that means I get hungry and eat later. Suddenly, that whole “fourth meal” concept makes sense to me. It’s completely counterproductive to getting in my best shape.
The other bad habit I had to break was not eating breakfast. I used to just sip on coffee until I remembered to eat lunch, which meant eating something last minute or on the go and is almost never good for me. I learned the hard way that juicing makes me fidgety. I’m sure it’s great for some people but fresh fruit juice simply makes me manic. Smoothies are fantastic and I’ve gotten them down to a 3-minute breakfast but sometimes you need something more.
Sometimes I crave carbs and a big breakfast but I don’t want all the calories and I don’t have all that extra time. Then I discovered Jimmy Dean Delights Turkey Sausage, Egg White & Cheese croissant. It’s a wholesome breakfast with real ingredients that satisfies my craving and gives me the energy to power through my morning routine. It’s only 290 calories and tastes amazing.
They taste so good that now my only breakfast dilemma is keeping enough in the house. My girls love them and many a morning I’ve gone to the freezer only to find that none were left. I’m okay with it though because I feel better knowing that they are eating a healthy breakfast instead of something sugary.
Jimmy Dean Delights are made with real ingredients like whole eggs, lean meat and real vegetables that provide my family with a delicious, wholesome breakfast option that I can feel good about us eating. It’s an excellent source of protein and it makes it possible for my family to enjoy that decadent Sunday brunch type of breakfast any day of the week in just two minutes. The best part is if we are running late, as we often are, we can eat these Jimmy Dean Delights on the go.
I asked my girls, 11 and 8 years old, to describe the Jimmy Dean Delights Turkey Sausage, Egg White & Cheese Croissant and here’s what they had to say: “ Tasty,” “Delicious,” and my personal favorite, “It’s like sunshine in my mouth, mommy!” Now, that’s something I can feel good about.
Check out the Morning Swap videos and watch as a busy working mom learns where the real ingredients like those in Jimmy Dean Delights come from!
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2016/04/07
What to Do When Your Tween Gets Bullied
Now that my daughter is getting older, I have found myself faced with the question of what to do when my tween gets bullied. It’s not like when they were toddlers. My daughters seem to be magnets for bullies. Despite being nice kids who are friendly with almost everyone (according to their teachers), they always seem to be the target of bullies. Now, I know we live in a world where parents like to overuse the term “bullying.” I don’t think I do but when you go single white female on my child and then harass her relentlessly when she just isn’t that into you, I think that constitutes being a bully, bordering on harassment and just a scoatch out of the stalker realm. Any way you slice it, you’re not being nice and I just don’t trust the situation.
My girls have had a bully almost every other year since preschool. I’ve taught my girls not to take it personally and to ignore these people. This is for my kid than the bully. I don’t want my daughters obsessing over what someone else thinks of them. Honestly, it’s irrelevant. I also don’t want my kid being teased, hurt and harassed because another kid doesn’t like something about them. Can’t we all just get along and move along.
I live in a reality based world. I don’t expect everyone to like everyone else. Sometimes it’s nothing more than non-compatible personalities. Hey, we’ve all known someone who we just don’t like based on fundamental personality differences and that’s okay. I don’t even want my girls to want or try to be liked by everyone because that just sets them up for a life of people pleasing and, pardon my French but, f*ck that.
This is how bullying usually goes. My kid starts acting weird. I ask them what’s going on. They don’t want to tell because they don’t want to tattle and they feel embarrassed that someone is picking on them, making fun of them or harassing them. I ask a few more times and finally, they end up breaking down and telling me.
I tell them to rise above it, ignore it and it’s not about them, it’s the fault of the bully. Bullies have low self-esteem and it manifests by them being mean to others to make themselves feel better. It’s a weak person’s way of leveling the playing field. Instead of rising to the occasion, bullies prefer to pull you down to their level. I also tell my children to tell me and they’ve done nothing wrong. Then, I handle it with the powers that be.
You see, in a world where kids plant bombs and go on shooting sprees, in a post-Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan world, I don’t believe in a “kids will be kids” do nothing parenting. I in no way fight my children’s battles but I also do not stand by and let my child feel like they are alone in the situation. I have no problem contact the school or wherever and keeping them abreast of the situation. Which brings us to this past weekend.
For a couple months, my daughter has been telling me that a girl at ballet doesn’t like her. Up until now, it’s been what I’ve perceived as a non-compatible personality situation. Petty things like bringing all the girls in class a piece of candy and purposely excluding just my daughter. Granted, it’s a shitty thing to do but it’s not “bullying” it’s just being a punk kid. I told my kid to ignore it and I bought her a bag of suckers and on the day she took them into ballet, I made sure she had enough for everyone. I thought let’s kill it with kindness. I’ve always taught my girls that you can’t control others reactions but you can control your own actions so put good into the world and if someone doesn’t return it then that is on them, not you. You do good, that’s all that you can do. Well, that didn’t help the situation at all.
Then, this particular little girl decided to try to befriend my daughter’s core group of friends. One-by-one she starting talking to them and trying to ingratiate herself into their lives by plying them with sweets and trinkets but her fatal flaw, as soon as they would talk to her, she would say something mean about my daughter and reveal herself to be the mean-spirited person she really was. Two of the girls were friendly to her in the way you are friendly to colleagues, which is essentially what they all are but she wanted more.
Still, she was calling my daughter prissy, annoying and saying that she talks too much. I mean, she is my daughter so she probably does talk a lot and prissy and annoying, well, that’s just that damn personality thing I was referring to. However, then it began to get weirder. Her tactic of befriending was more of collecting friends to exclude my daughter. It was more about alienating my daughter than having friends.
These girls are all tweens ages 11 and 12-years-old. My daughter has a group of four “best friends” who talk every day and have sleepovers and genuinely care about one another, more than just like a colleague more like sisters. They are protective of one another but they are a good group of girls. They are not mean. They actually try to be very diplomatic, as much as you can be at that age.
So, a couple weeks ago, the bully decided that if I can’t steal the friends and exclude Bella (my daughter) they will all suffer my wrath. First, she started calling one of the little girls “fat” to the three other girls. I told my daughter that they should shut it down and tell the bully it wasn’t okay but not tell the girl who she was calling fat because it would only hurt her feeling and make her feel embarrassed. Let’s be honest, as a tween girl, being called fat can have some serious ramifications, especially if you’re a ballerina. 12-years-old is when my eating disorders were first triggered. Then, she told another one of the girls that my daughter was fat, which by the way she is not even close to being. This girl just knows that calling any girl fat, no matter her size especially in their industry, is a trigger.
She is not saying any of this to the actual girls she is talking about but rather telling one of the other girls in the group. It’s like she enjoys not only talking shit about one girl but torturing the other girls by putting them in this awkward position. All the while, she is trying to befriend each of the other girls, except for my friend. She eventually goes through the entire group calling them all names like fat, can’t dance, blackhearts, prissy, annoying, clumsy, untalented and talks too much. It’s all very superficial but it really hurts these girls’ feelings and in the end, it’s not about whether I think it is serious or not, it’s about how it’s making the girls feel and they feel terrible. It’s about the effect it has on the bullied child. Then the notes began.
Apparently, the girls sticking together only angered the bully and she decided to attack them in letters. It started two weeks ago. She stuck a note in my daughter’s ballet bag that read, “I don’t like talking to annoying, prissy people. Sorry, not my type.” And she signed her name. My daughter didn’t even tell me. She crumpled it up and threw it into her bag. I guess my rise above it mantra is sticking.
Not getting the reaction she wanted from my daughter, she went on to one of her friends and wrote her a creepy single white female letter. Basically saying, your other three friends are shit and they called you shit when you weren’t here. Then she went on to say, let’s have a sleepover and exclude those girls. You need to become best friends with me, etcetera, etcetera. It was a very weird note but that’s the gist of it. Instead of taking the bait, the girl who was given the note shared the note with the other girls at a sleepover they had on Friday.
Instead of being mean back to her, the girls googled how to write a form letter and then must have ended up on some manager training site because they wrote a letter with the formula “for every bad thing you tell her to say something nice and always use empathy.” They brought me a copy of both letters because, as my husband says, the kids all know that you’re the mom who gets shit taken care of.
Super long story slightly shorter, I spoke with the principal and the director at the ballet on Saturday morning. They took it very seriously because the 4 girls also brought the original f the note the bully write and their reply for proof. You’d think they were going to court. I was assured by the ballet that it would be handled.
The girls as a whole at ballet were given a warning about behavior and etiquette and how this sort of petty behavior and bullying would not be tolerated. They were reminded that they are a company and are supposed to be tolerant and supportive of one another. However, the bully has an older sister who is friends with my daughter and her group of friends. She told her mom what her little sister had been up to and the mom handled her daughter, the bully. Did I mention this all happened on a performance day?
We all went home and thought it was handled. Until Sunday when one of the little girls was cleaning out her ballet bag and found a second note basically threatening my daughter and her group for getting her into trouble. She called them idiots and jerks and said she would get revenge at ballet and to have great lives in hell. Concluding with, I hate you. She wrote this note after she had been reprimanded by the ballet and her mother. So basically in the face of punishment she was angry enough to say to hell with the consequences.
I am dumbfounded. This has been going on, on and off, since last spring but has been slowly escalating. It’s to the point now, especially after the last note, that I don’t feel terribly comfortable with my child being around this child. I feel it’s getting to Tonya Harding levels of desperation.
What would you do if your tween gets bullied?

2016/10/17
Hopping, Fawking & a pretty much all around Good Time!
Happy Friday everyone! It’s that day of the week again when its time to get your socialization on! Once again, I am blog hopping like a madwoman trying to reach my birthday goal of 1000 followers by September 25th. So, if you are visiting please follow and if you already follow..thank you so much!
Just wanted to let everyone know that the Be a better ME Challenge is in full swing already.Please stop by and link up! We all deserve to be a priority on our to do list! So let’s get our self love on!
Hope you all have a glorious long weekend with your lovely families ; enjoy one another, relax,and just embrace the now! Happy Mothering!And if you are a Mommy Blogger please grab the badge to the right

1. If I didn’t have to work anymore I would…. travel the world with my family and then travel some more!
2. My favorite thing about a vacation is …. getting away from the minutia of my everyday;experiencing new things, people, places, and the vacation mentality…all bets are off, there are no limits.
3. When packing for a trip I…. pack half the house up because I have little kids, then I squeeze all of my husbands and my stuff into a carry on bag. Always over packing ( cause lets face it all I really need is a pair of shorts, t-shirt,a bathing suit,a pair of jeans, a nice shirt and a dress & undies, of course) and never actually bringing what I actually want to wear.

4. If I could go on a road trip with anyone (dead OR alive) I would choose…( aside from the big guy) my 2 best girlfriends; Nikki and Nicole because we would have an absolute blast and we would go somewhere in the Mediterranean were there is loads of sun, beaches, hot men for your viewing pleasure ( as we are all married and looking is all we can do:), good food, good wine, and good friends & conversation; really what more could I ask for?
OOPs, just saw that it said “ROAD TRIP” so same people, same, reason, but we would go from Chicago to the west coast, enjoying some girl time, the great outdoors, culminating in California with some good shopping and spa treatments!
5. My top 3 absolute travel essentials are …my iphone, my sunglasses, my toothbrush!

6. Vacations are … a well deserved break from every day life.

7. On vacation you must always …relax, enjoy your surroundings, live in the moment, leave your worries far, far away.
Now for my FAWK yous of the day:
- Fawk you to this jacked up sickness that has taken me hostage for the past week. Sure I love sounding like an old smoker, coughing up my lung, cold sweats,and general malaise as much as anyone but enough already!
- Fawk you to my RX laced cough syrup that helps me to sleep but makes me see unicorns and ligers. Oh wait, no ..no fawk you to that!
- Fawk you to having to “watch the money”! I just want to experience a little bit of excess of money sometime.
- Fawk you to Irish football starting this weekend; my town is overrun with crazed football fans jamming my route to Bella’s school. Get out of my way people!
  Fawk You to the little one catching whatever I have. Sick Mommy + Sick Baby = Not a good time!
- Fawk You to my 3 year old telling random people “You must be going to have baby. Your tummy is all lumpy!”
- Oh yeah, FAWK ME because she said it to me too:)
2010/09/03
Great Scott! Buckle Up for Back to the Future: The Musical!
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
Attention Gen X, Gen Z and anyone who loves musicals; hold onto your flux capacitors, Windy City! Dust off your DeLorean and grab your hoverboard, because Back to the Future: The Musical is blasting into Chicago’s Cadillac Palace Theatre for three electrifying weeks, August 13th to September 1st, 2024! The critically acclaimed, time-traveling, toe-tapping extravaganza, Back to the Future: The Musical, is blasting into the Cadillac Palace Theatre this August! Get ready to witness Marty McFly’s electrifying journey through time, set to a score that’ll have you humming along from the first to the eighty-eighth minute (and maybe even beyond!).
Brought to you by Broadway in Chicago, this critically acclaimed spectacle isn’t just a trip down memory lane – it’s a time-traveling thrill ride packed with jaw-dropping effects, infectious tunes, and enough laughs to power Doc Brown’s flux capacitor!
Remember Marty McFly, that teenage rock ‘n’ roll rebel accidentally zapped back to 1955? Yeah, the chaos is back, baby! Witness Marty scramble to ensure his parents fall in love (awkward!), outrun Biff’s bully antics (classic!), and all while rocking out to new music by Emmy and Grammy award-winners (epicness guaranteed!).
Forget DeLorean-induced whiplash, because Back to the Future the Musical will leave you breathless with:
- Jaw-dropping spectacle: Remember that iconic DeLorean ride? Buckle up for a stage version that’ll have you feeling the G-force (minus the nausea).
- Show-stopping tunes: From brand new bangers to classic favorites like “The Power of Love” and “Johnny B. Goode,” this score will have you dancing in the aisles (or at least tapping your feet uncontrollably).
- Laugh-out-loud humor: Doc Brown’s zany antics, Biff’s buffoonery, and Marty’s witty one-liners will have you chuckling faster than a flux capacitor can charge. Laughs for all ages: Whether you’re a die-hard fan or a newcomer to the franchise, this show is guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and warm your heart.
- A heart-warming story: At its core, Back to the Future is about the power of family, friendship, and never giving up on your dreams. Prepare to shed a tear (or two) alongside a smile.
- Tony Award®-winning direction and design: Prepare to be blown away by mind-bending sets, dazzling costumes, and special effects that’ll make you swear you just saw a DeLorean disappear on stage.
This ain’t just a musical, it’s a cultural phenomenon! Get ready to experience the iconic story like never before, with humor, heart, and enough plutonium to send you back to the future (metaphorically speaking, of course).
So, are you ready to travel through time? Tickets are going faster than a flux capacitor on overdrive, so don’t wait! Grab your friends, family, and anyone who loves a good adventure, and head to BroadwayInChicago.com to snag your tickets before they disappear!
TICKET INFORMATION
Groups of 10+ are now on sale by calling (312) 977-1710 or by emailing GroupSales@BroadwayInChicago.com. BACK TO THE FUTURE will be part of the next Broadway In Chicago subscription. Current subscribers can renewal beginning on Monday, February 26, and the season will be available to new subscribers on Wednesday, March 20. Single tickets will be on sale at a later date. Ticket prices range from $40 – $135 with a select number of premium tickets available. For more details, visit BroadwayInChicago.com.
2024/02/19
Cheat Bribe and Lie that’s how Privilege Beats the System
Lori Loughlin, Felicity Huffman and 31 other parents were charged in the college admissions scandal. 50 people were charged earlier this week in a nationwide scheme to fast-track students for admission to elite colleges and universities. As a parent, I understand wanting the best for your children just like Lori Loughlin wanted the best for her daughters, Olivia Jade Giannulli and Isabella Rose Giannulli, social media influence and fake USC crew recruits.
I understand wanting to give your child the world but isn’t cheating their way in doing them a disservice? They are learning that they can cheat their way to success and they either don’t care or have lost confidence in their own abilities to earn entrance. What these parents did was absurd and they should be held accountable. But now, it’s not just them but their kids too. These kids, whether they knew about what their parents were doing or not, have landed smack dab in the middle of this scandal. How embarrassing!
READ ALSO: They Wanted Better for Us
For example, Olivia Jade Gianulli and Isabella Rose are losing sponsorships and their social media influence is dwindling as their teen fanbase are mad about her cheating her way into college. This scandal is not only going to probably get Lori Loughlin’s daughters kicked out of school, but it’s also going to ruin their reputation as social media influencers leaving these girls without a proverbial pot to piss in, well, except for the millions their parents have. They’ll be okay.
Also, let’s all be clear here. This is not the first time this has happened. This has probably been going on since colleges existed and wealthy parents wanted their kids to have a prestigious diploma to hang on their wall. It’s no different than the college athletes who are encouraged by the administration to skate by in easy classes to stay eligible to play. Privilege is nice if you’re on the receiving end of it.
READ ALSO: Everything in Life Worth Having I Earned in College
When I was 17, I applied to several universities, all very high-quality institutions of higher learning, some even ivy league. I got accepted to all of them through hard work, good grades and extracurricular activities. I worked my ass off for it. The only limitation I had when it came to choosing a school was money. I come from a blue-collar family, with an immigrant father and a stay at home mother. They had six kids, one salary and no extra.
Everything we got, we worked hard for. 5 out of the 6 of us graduated from college with real-world degrees. My brothers went to college on soccer scholarships and financial aid. They took the opportunity their athletic abilities provided them and used it to fund their futures.
I worked full-time, took financial aid loans and whatever scholarships I could qualify for as did my sister. I did whatever I had to; late nights, driving an hour and a half each way between school and work because to me, it was worth it. My parents taught us to take the opportunities we earned and use them to better situation.
My parents raised us with pride and integrity. They raised us to respect ourselves and the education system. Our parents inspired us to work hard and believe in ourselves. My parents may not have had money but they gave us what they could, believe in ourselves and self-confidence.
READ ALSO: How to Afford the Education your Child Deserves
Believe me, I get it, wanting to give your child every leg up that you can. But buying their way into college is not only not fair but not even helpful. Firstly, what message are you sending to your child that you have to help cheat their way into college? They are too dumb to get in on their own? Or worse, they are too lazy to try? Either way, you are aren’t doing them favors in the long run.
Secondly, you are actually teaching them to be entitled and promoting white privilege. There are things in life that you need to earn to fully appreciate them and if you don’t earn them, you don’t deserve them. Also, I don’t just blame these mothers, why are we not calling out Mossimo Giannulli or William Macy?
(Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images)
Thirdly, putting kids into universities that they had to cheat their way into is taking the spot of someone who earned it and belongs there on merit. These students are taking spots that they didn’t earn, probably cheating their way through ( because if they couldn’t qualify to get in on their own they probably can’t keep up) for a piece of paper they don’t need because they are already wealthy. Not to be flippant, but I haven’t heard of a lot of celebrity children going into medicine, law or other scholarly fields. Most of them either go into the family business or spend their lives living off of the spoils of their parents’ careers. I see you, Paris Hilton.
Lori Loughlin, Felicity Huffman and all the parents who did this, shame on you and your privilege.
Meanwhile, the underprivileged, smart kids of the world who are dependent on entry into these universities to not only change their situation but their lives are screwed. Those of us who grew up blue-collar or even middle class are taught to chase the American dream and through hard work and determination we can get into the good universities and get armed with the tools to chase after those dreams. With celebrities buying their entitled, lazy kids their way into college the kids who deserve it are losing those spots. These parents are literally stealing futures from other kids.
What are these parents teaching their children? I get it. Every parent wants better for their children then they had. It’s natural. These wealthy parents worked hard for their wealth and success. There is a sense of satisfaction and happiness that comes from working hard for something. There is pride and dignity tied to accomplishment. In the end, these parents (however well-meaning their intentions may have been) cheated their own children. They cheated all of the kids who should have earned those university spots. Cheated their own children out of the satisfaction of earning their own way.
What do you think should happen to Felicity Huffman, Lori Loughlin and all of these parents and the students who are part of the college admissions scandal?
2019/03/14
What Happens when Your Mind and Body are Out of Sync?
Sometimes as a busy wife and mom, my life can get pretty hectic. Probably a lot like yours. It’s not easy when you have to be 100 places at the same time and you have little people depending on you for survival. That’s a lot of pressure, in and of itself, add to that work, errands, husband time and the fact that I am not as young as I once was and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed pretty quickly. That’s why I trust sites like anipots.com to provide me with the right knowledge regarding health supplements and remedies.
The thing is that this happens quite frequently and when it does, I don’t feel like myself. Does that happen to you? I’ve noticed that whenever my life gets busy and I’m experiencing a lot of emotional stress, there are always accompanying physical ramifications. For example, when you’re stressing out over why the baby isn’t sleeping through the night and the next thing you know you get a monster pimple between your eyes or you remember in the middle of the night that you have to bake 50 cupcakes for the PTO bake sale and then you fall victim to a migraine.
I’ve had an extremely stressful few months recently. I broke my leg last fall which created a host of other issues, as you can imagine mostly because when you are confined to one place and can’t bear weight, you start to feel like a ghost in your own life. You can’t imagine the emotional stress that feeling irrelevant can put on someone. Makes you appreciate what it must feel like to be elderly.
Then this spring I started having gallbladder attacks which led to a surgery to remove a diseased gallbladder. If you’ve never had a gallbladder attack, I don’t recommend them. They feel like an induced labor with no epidural. This caused more emotional stress that manifested itself by physically wiping me out. On top of all of this, I’m pretty sure that I’ve entered perimenopause land. They say it can start anywhere from your thirties through your forties (or even earlier for some) and can last anywhere from 10 months to 10 years, so that makes it a definite possibility.
I haven’t noticed any major symptoms like hot flashes, irregular periods or lower sex drive but others like urine leakage (hello, giving birth to two babies with huge heads), fatigue (a mom’s work is never done), mood swings and trouble sleeping (well, I’m a mom and a diagnosed insomniac so this has been part of my reality since having kids) but other than that I feel like I’m 25-years-old. Well, except for the occasional vaginal dryness but I blame that on the stress. Not to be too graphic but sometimes it’s like a slip and slide down there and sometimes it’s like the Sahara. I adjust. I’m not giving up my sex life because my vagina is being bipolar. Hey, 2 pregnancies, a broken leg and wonky gallbladder didn’t stop me. I’m not about to let aging win the war. I’m not dead yet.
The thing is life slows down for no woman so we have to make time to take care of ourselves. Sometimes that means getting some extra sleep, sometimes that means taking vitamins and exercising, sometimes that means sneaking away to pee in silence and sometimes that means giving yourself a little help in the lubricant area. Hey, my mama always told me, “God helps those who help themselves.” I have no shame in helping myself to the sex life I want. If that means picking up some Vagisil ProHydrate then I will. Vagisil ProHydrate Natural Feel helps make my love life feel natural again without the dryness that comes with perimenopause.

Unfortunately, it quite literally, took me falling and breaking my leg and being completely bed ridden for 4 months to learn that lesson. So when your body is telling you to slow down or take care of it, do it. You only have one body and one life. Enjoy!
What do you do to relieve stress that’s just for you and nobody else?
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2016/10/13