The TRUTH About Motherhood

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How to Live with Your Heart Walking Around Outside of Your Body
This post is sponsored by Disney’s Pinocchio. All opinions and the wish for my child are my own.
Ever think about what your greatest wish for your child might be? Do you want them to be smart? Successful? Healthy? Happy? Good human beings? Maybe all of thee above. When I was a child, I thought the tale of Pinocchio was just about a boy who lied and when he did, his nose grew. The moral of the story for me, as a child, was to not lie because it’s bad and liars get caught. So not worth it, plus, I didn’t want my nose to grow. I was vain so that lesson quickly stuck with me. Years later, that’s how I became “Truthful mommy.” I simply can’t lie because my face shows every thought that comes into my head. I think it’s a pretty awesome thing and it’s something I’ve taught my girls, the no lying part, the face betrayal is pure genetics (fortunately for me they’ve inherited that too).
As an adult, I’ve read the story of Pinocchio with my children and I see it with a fresh perspective. I see an even deeper aspect to the timeless story. I see a man desperate for a child; someone to love unconditionally. Geppetto wants what all parents want, his own little miracle.
From the moment I knew that I was pregnant and felt those first flutters and kicks, I’ve known that being a mother was a privilege. Sure sometimes I’m exhausted and the minutia of motherhood makes me feel like I’m a little bit brain dead. But, then out of nowhere I’m inspired or flabbergasted and other times I’m just outright amazed by the way they move through the world. They truly are miracles to me. Don’t get me wrong, they can also be a handful. It’s certainly not always sunshine and rainbows but I totally see why Geppetto wished on a star to make his puppet son a real boy. Nothing can substitute the love shared between a parent and a child.

When I was younger, I always knew that when I grew up, I wanted to be a mom. I come from a big family; 6 children. I like to call us the Mexibilly Brady Bunch, only we all came from the same set of Catholic parents. I’m the Marsha of the family. Children have always been a part of my life. I was always the girl who went to family/friend gatherings and spent a bulk of my time entertaining the children. It was all I had ever known and I knew one day, I wanted my own children to love.
I grew up, got married and eventually had a couple little girls of my own. There is nothing quite like motherhood. You can babysit a million children, read every book and watch every movie and it still never prepares you for being a mother to actual children. First, you are overwhelmed with all the heart-exploding love that you never even knew existed in the world that you feel for said ooey, gooey baby from the instant you see them. And forget about it once they put that baby in your arms, you are done for. There is no recovery from that kind of love. Instant and eternal addiction.
Then complete and overwhelming, all-encompassing fear because holy moly you realize this baby is perfection and you have absolutely no idea what you are doing and the last thing you want to do is mess up the most perfect thing you will ever do in your life. When the doctor said I could go home from the hospital with my first baby, I was overcome with sheer panic because what were they thinking? I felt like the world’s biggest imposter. I was terrified. None of my experiences up to that point had prepared me for what I was feeling in that moment.
Then more fear because, oh my goodness, I love this little person more than anything I’ve ever loved in my entire life and now they are out in the world, exposed to the elements; the crazy (all the crazy), global warming, sharp edges and mean people (people who could hurt their feelings or worse). And what if I messed it up and she stopped breathing or I couldn’t feed her or I dropped her (all of which happened by the way) or the list was endless of ways that I could damage her? That’s when it hit me like a train, loving someone has no guarantees. Being able to love someone so precious so much comes with a price and that price is the uncertainty that it will all be alright. The price for great love is great pain if it’s ever lost but it’s totally worth the risk. Once you’ve seen your child look at you like you are the best thing in the world, you will die, kill and risk it all just to see them smile; everything else becomes meaningless when you have that kind of clarity. When you give love to a tiny human, you accept the responsibility and you never look back, only forward.
Geppetto’s wish for Pinocchio was that he became a real boy. How could he not? I have two wishes for my daughters and they are these: health and happiness. Sounds simple, right? Not so much because one day I may find myself confronted with the choice of watching my child choose a path that might not be what I would have chosen for their happiness, but it’s not my life to live. I am only the giver of their lives but it is their lives to live.
Sometimes we have to watch our kids struggle before they reach their goals. That’s how they learn to work for their dreams. That’s how they learn to become who they are meant to be. That letting go to let them grow up is almost impossible but it’s part of the unwritten parent/child agreement.
I can keep my daughters healthy and happy in my house because I control the climate but once they get out in the world, I can only be there to catch them when they stumble. I will always do all that I can to help them make their dreams come true but I can’t do it for them because then the happiness will lose its effect.
So my wish for my girls is all the happiness that the world has to offer them. I teach them to go for their dreams. I teach them to pursue their joys and to never be afraid to change their expectations because sometimes life and happiness don’t fit neatly into a box. Life is messy and beautiful and I just want my girls to be open to enjoying every single moment of it.
New to The Walt Disney Signature Collection, the movie that inspired the world to wish upon a star, Pinocchio is a timeless tale for the whole family. Bring home this magical story of friendship and epic adventure now on Digital HD & Disney Movies Anywhere, on Blu-ray Jan 31. Pick up your copy here. It includes hours of new and classic bonus content.
This is the wish for my child, what do you wish for yours?

2017/01/17
Parenting Means Nourishing the Mind, Body and Soul
Disclosure: This is a compensated campaign in collaboration with Nesquik and Latina Bloggers Connect but all opinions are my own.
Weekdays are crazy at our house; absolutely chaotic in the best possible way. This is what being a family and having children is all about. I remember as a child myself, there were six of us on top of each other in a tiny house. My childhood was loud, crazy and busy but it was filled with love because we had each other. Family can make everything better because no matter what’s going wrong in the world, you have those people who know you best and at your worst who still love you as if you were pure perfection. That is priceless.
This is how I raise our girls. They know that even when life is absolutely crazy and they have 15 different things on their plate; places to be, homework to be done and people to see, they know that they’ve got someone to lean on. I’ve always tried to teach them that it’s not about what you have in this world but about whom you share your life with, your family and your friends.
Recently, I’ve had the opportunity to really remember what that means. After breaking my leg a few weeks ago, I’ve had to come to a full stop, which was absolutely terrifying for me. I don’t do “full stop”. I’m more of a rolling stop, carry on kind of gal. But life has seen to it that I slow down completely. Life has taken control out of my hands and forced me to relinquish my obligations and let others help me. That is something that is very hard for me. I’m a doer. I always have been so waiting for others and depending on others is a difficult thing for me to do, maybe one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
The thing is that it’s not just about me. I have the Big Guy and my girls to consider. They have so many activities that they participate in. When the school year started, I knew that we had a full schedule. Everyone told me that we were overextending ourselves but I knew I could handle it. The problem is now, I can’t do any of it and everyone else is pitching in to help get my girls where they need to go.
The hardest part is knowing what needs to be done, being 100% willing to help and 0% able to get my girls to ballet, gymnastics, cheer, violin, choir, robotics or even just an impromptu soccer game or birthday party. I have to depend on someone else to do all of these things because I can’t drive with my broken leg.
But there are some things I can still do like show them how much I love them by doing little things like brushing their hair before bed, reading them bedtime stories or making them a quick, nutritious and fuel-charging snack like homemade granola bars with an ice cold glass of Nesquik. Sometimes it’s the little things that mean the most in the midst of all the chaos.
Protein is essential for a healthy and active lifestyle. Nesquik provides kids with 40% Daily Value for calcium and 8 grams of protein in every serving compared to zero grams in the leading sports and juice drinks. Nesquik chocolate milk is available in pre-made 8 oz. serving bottles full of all the same nutritional benefits plus the great taste kids love. Its convenient size makes it portable and a great option when packing lunches and nutritious snacks for after school activities.
Aside from homemade granola and Nesquik, a few other tasty, healthy, fuel-charging and healthy snacks that I give my girls that I feel good about are:
1. Celery with peanut butter and raisins
2. Apple slices with peanut butter
3. Cheese and Fruit Kabobs
4. Cottage Cheese with fresh fruit
5. Strawberries, Nutella and a whole-wheat crepe
6. Homemade yogurt and fruit Popsicle
These are all quick, easy and nutritious; the perfect after school or before a game restoring pick-me up. After a tough practice or game, studies suggest that low fat chocolate milk, like Nesquik, may contain the ideal 3:1 ratio of carbohydrates to protein that can help restore muscles. This right balance provides your athlete with the nourishment they need after a hard game.
This is a sponsored campaign in collaboration with Nesquik and Latina Bloggers Connect, all opinions and text are all mine.
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2015/10/07
Why Our Marriage is Better when No One is Leaving
Maybe you can’t relate to my particular circumstances, maybe you can. Marriage is hard, especially when you love your spouse and worse, if you like him. You can imagine what shit mine has been since my husband is, quite literally, my best friend. This is why our marriage is better when no one is leaving. It’s hard enough being alone but being separated from the person you love the most because of distance is cruel.
For the past 5 years (almost 6), we have been “not normal.” Well, definitely not traditional. We went from a young family with a preschooler and barely a toddler living in a nice suburban college town to a family separated by time and distance via a commuter marriage. The Big Guy worked in one state; we lived in another and only saw him on weekends. In case you were wondering what that was or how it goes, it sucks by the way. It sucks BIG TIME!
To be honest, this was the time I started this blog. Maybe I should have named it “This is why Marriage Sucks” blog. But it didn’t suck. The situation did but I loved my husband, and more than that, I liked him…a lot. I still do most days.
Then, after 2 years of that utter hell and mess of commuter marriage and the loss and gain of 3 separate jobs, we finally got to live together with my in-laws for a year, that was the year that I had a miscarriage and turned 40. It pretty much blew.
Then we bought a house; a fixer-upper that we are still fixing up, but a place of our own. The Big Guy was still driving 2 hours each way to and from work. Do the math. He left for work at 5 a.m. He got home from work at 5:15 p.m. Our girls go to bed at 7:00. He went to bed at 9 p.m. The girls and I see him for about 1 hour and 45 minutes a day, Monday thru Friday. Oh yes, it did f*cking suck.
I haven’t complained for a long time. After all, what was the point? We had no control over that situation. It was a down economy and being middle class, we had no handouts or hands up to be given. We had to figure it out and we did. I’ve just been grateful for the little wins but I will be honest with you now, it was hard.
He missed most of our children’s childhood up until this point. That was rough on all of us, most of all him. He went from the all-in father who did everything with his girls to being essentially a part-time dad, against his will which made me, ahem, an almost single mother. It was lonely and overwhelming.
Don’t get your panties in a twist. Yes, I had him on weekends but weekends are not enough when you are expecting forever. Try it, and then you will see how terrible it really is. They lie when they say it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all because when you’ve loved, you know what you’re missing and it goes the same for marriage.
Today, for the first time in 5 years (most of our children’s lives) we live together, sleep together, in the same house, in the same state, 7 nights a week. This morning the Big Guy started a new job in our town, 20 minutes away. This morning our family finally became normal again.
This morning he kissed me goodbye. This morning our girls got to say, “Good Morning, Daddy” and wrap their little arms around his big neck. This morning I didn’t have to worry about my husband driving 2 hours on icy roads each way, holding my breath until he was home. This morning, for the first time in a long time, I felt like things were going to work themselves out…finally.
Tonight, he will be home in time for dinner and not be exhausted from getting up at 4:30 a.m. After the girls go to bed, we will be able to snuggle on the couch and watch television and talk to one another, instead of just a short catch up on what happened with the kids before he went to bed in another room as I stayed up until the wee hours of the night doing work.
Today, we are “normal” again.
2015/01/26
Middle Class Mom Private School Kid CoVid Problems and Why I Hate Pandemic Parenting

Estimated reading time: 8 minutes
Not saying CoVid and this pandemic are issues especially hard for middle class moms with private school kids but not saying it isn’t either. I’ve noticed that, at least from my viewpoint, public schools are doing more to stop the spread. Public schools are funded by the government and are more likely to follow government guidelines and recommendations because they are cognizant that not doing so can end in losing funding. Private schools on the other hand are funded by donors, usually wealthy alumni who gift large sums of money, often with “suggestions.” What I’m saying is that if you think super-rich kids are terrible, well, you’ve never experienced their entitled parents firsthand.
They don’t like to be told what to do. It infringes upon “their freedom” so they will scream white at the top of their lungs while staring directly at a black wall. If you disagree, you are not right, you are obviously blind because you chose to believe your own eyes over what they tell you. This is the situation.
Science and research show that vaccines, masks and social distancing are the way to end the pandemic. Some people at private schools say none of it exists and refuse to allow their children to follow guidelines for a “political pandemic” created by the liberals to make us all sheeple. After all, this is MURICA! Caught right in the middle of it all, the faculty and administration just trying to do the right thing by humankind without alienating the very people who pay their salaries.
Omicron is here and making my life more difficult than ever. I hate pandemic parenting because I’m terrified to send my kids to school. Let me start by saying that this whole pandemic has been a lesson in versatility, patience and pushing past fear. It’s enough already. I give. I’ve learned my lesson. I wash my hands religiously, I prioritize people and I live like every day could be my last, because it could be but my breaking point seems to be when I live in a world where others are pretending that none of this is real. People are dying and where I live, people are pretending that nothing is wrong. People are dying and nothing is wrong? Is this logical to anyone reading this? If so, please help it make sense because I can’t and it’s literally making me feel insane.
At this point, my family has been vaccinated and boostered, except Gabi who will get hers this week as soon as I can get her an appointment. We rarely go anywhere. With Omicron we are actually reverting to our March 2020 hermit lives. We wear masks in public and we social distance when possible. We wash our hands and change our outside clothes. We disinfect everything. In our state, we are in the minority.
At our daughters’ school, there are no preventative CoVid safety measures in place this year other than CDC guideline quarantining for the minimum 5 days if exposed and showing symptoms. But there is no social distancing or mask policy in place. There is no vaccination requirement. So every day, my rational and intelligent girls who have common sense go to school knowing they are 100% exposed. This is not okay.
They are under so much stress (as any rational/ thinking person would be) that they have now both developed severe stress and anxiety due to the mishandling of the pandemic. They are kids who should be doing kid things but instead they are worried they are going to die or kill someone else because the adults are dropping the ball. The adults in charge are neither caring or protecting our children from Coronavirus, Delta or Omicron. They’re just seeing how this all plays out and that’s just not working for me anymore.
The other day I was driving to pick my daughters up from school and the truck ahead of me had a bumper sticker that read, “Unmask Our Kids Now.” In my head I heard, “unhand my mother” or “Free Nelson Mandela” only it wasn’t about saving anyone. In fact, quite the opposite. It basically read, “Societal rules don’t apply to me because I’m a selfish toddler who doesn’t care about anyone else but me and it’s my right to do whatever I want.”
You see, all over the country, friends of mine are taking their 5-11-year-olds to get their vaccination. In fact, they went on the very first day of eligibility, some of them drove to neighboring cities and even states, just to do their part to help end this pandemic. I’m elated. We took our girls as soon as they were eligible. Now, we’re getting them boostered because that is what all of us should be doing to end this pandemic. Was I nervous about giving my daughters a brand new vaccination? Yes. But I’m more afraid of CoVid and the long-term effects of Coronavirus.
There are still adults who haven’t gotten 1 shot yet. Y’all should be ashamed. You’d probably jump in the lifeboats ahead of the women and children too, am I right? Come on, this is embarrassing, America. Be a grown-up and do your part. Yes, I know, you don’t believe in CoVid but he believes in you and if you’re just going to live your life like you’re pursuing happiness, Consequences be damned, YOU WILL GET COVID. Regardless if you believe or not.
So here we are. My daughter has missed 30 days of in-person school. I’d say at least 20 of those days were mandatory quarantines from exposure or from having “symptoms” like coughing or sore throat. I did it because even though they were vaccinated, the rules are in place to protect all of us. Also, the girls have caught a few viruses this year (as expected when reentering public places after 17 months of isolation) and pre-CoVid if my children were sick, I kept them home to protect others from catching it and to let my girls rest and recuperate. But suddenly, CoVid is the only acceptable reason for an absence.
Here’s where the real frustration comes into play, aside from kids at school chastising those who are vaccinated and/or wearing masks now the administration is questioning whether or not my daughters are “really sick” or just “don’t want to be there” when I call my daughters in sick. This began after we made them aware of the mental health struggles our girls are dealing with (as are most intelligent adults and teens). Talk about minimizing mental health. What else did I expect from a place that literally had a speaker come in and tell the kids that depression is evil and they need to pray away their mental health issues? Look, I’m all for leaning on God for strength when you feel helpless but to make it a character flaw to seek mental health help is something entirely different altogether.
Honestly, I didn’t write this post to complain about my kids’ school, I’m simply frustrated and exhausted from all of this. My daughter’s been vomiting and nauseous for the past 36 hours. Obviously, I can’t send her into a school like that nor would I send a child who is feeling that terrible into school. I called the attendance office and explained and braced myself for the inevitable call from the school nurse telling us we’d need a negative CoVid test to return, even with being vaccinated and boostered. Can I just mention that we’ve had to get so many CoVid tests in the past 2 years that the pharmacy techs at our local CVS know us by name now? It’s embarrassing. All that aside, I did get the call for the nurse but not before I got the call from the Vice Principal telling me that we “need to have a meeting to discuss her attendance”. It’s the first day of the new semester, what is there to talk about? She.Is. SICK. End of the story.
I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. My first priority is to keep my girls healthy, happy and alive. ALIVE. At this point, I’m getting as afraid of their depression and anxiety as I am of CoVid. No child should have to feel so hopeless and helpless. I spend many nights a week reassuring my daughters that we can get through this. Holding them while they cry about what they’ve lost and the normal teen experience that they simply cannot have right now. They are missing normal human connection and being able to attend school safely. Every day they feel under threat and I don’t blame them. So I advocate for them, reassure them, hold them and love them as much and as unconditionally as I can but it’s hard when I’m just as stressed, anxious and depressed as they are.
Update: Day 2 of vomiting and nausea, they are requiring a doctor’s note or fax saying the doctor doesn’t need to see her in order to excuse the absences. Even the pediatrician is like, it hasn’t even been 48 hours, she’s not dehydrated and she’s not running a fever coming in would be more dangerous than waiting it out. They can’t even do anything for a stomach bug. FML.
What would you do in my situation? What are you doing to not only protect your family from CoVid Omicron but all the long-term side effects of surviving a pandemic in a world where conspiracy theorists and CoVid deniers pretend nothing is wrong and none of this is real?
2022/01/04
Commuter Marriage~The Sunday When No One Got Left Behind
Reunited after Commuter marriage! It’s over. It’s finally over! It’s the first Sunday in over a year where no one had to leave anyone behind and no one had to stand at the stoop waving bye, feeling deflated and left behind. Tonight’s bedtime was monumental. The girls didn’t have to cry that they wanted their Daddy because the Big Guy didn’t have to leave. It is such a simple thing but it makes my heart so happy for all of us to be together. I’m so excited that I’m not even that annoyed that I had to miss BlogHer to make it happen.
Reunited after Commuter Marriage and it Feels so Good
For over a year now, our lives have been upside down and inside out. This is not an exaggeration, this is a commuter marriage with kids. I’ve tried my damnest to hold it together, to get to this very place…our finish line. I’ve spend every third month having a terrible frantic breakdown. Watched Sundays evolve into the no good terrible day of the week for our family. Sunday’s have been spent waking up angry because we knew it meant goodbyes. None of us were happy. It was miserable. Life was about surviving and getting by until the next opportunity to be together. It was harder than anything I have ever experienced. I can’t even explain because commuter marriage is a lot like labor in the sense that the pain is indescribable and so unbelievable that no one could understand. Not really.Not ever.It can only be understood, if survived.
Reunited from Commuter Marriage at last
This morning, we awoke and it was like a storm cloud had lifted from our lives. We all got dressed and went to mass together, stopped by the store to pick up ingredients for dinner and headed home to have brunch at the same table with no one having to run off. We lounged around the house while the girls played with their toy kitchen and made us all “dinner”. I worked on the computer, the Big Guy watched television and the sound of the girls laughter could be heard throughout the house. Then we made dinner together and after a early evening ,outdoor tea party with the girls , “we” put them to bed. No shrill, desperate crying for Daddy because he was there to kiss them goodnight. It was children slipping off to slumber on a warm August evening. It probably sounds mundane to most of you reading this because it is your norm. For us, it was bliss. It was one of the most perfect days that we’ve had in a really long time.
I’ve learned a lot about myself in these past two years, mostly that absence does not make the heart grow fonder. It makes the heart grow sad, the soul grow weary and the mind grow weak. Life is about more than just having the life that you want, it is about appreciating the life that you have and NOT taking a single moment together for granted. I’d like to say that surviving this commuter marriage ordeal has made me a better person, made me grow in some profound way but mostly it’s made me wiser. It’s also shown me how strong I can be, how resilient my daughters are and how profoundly amazing my husband is. I’ve spent this time apart, feeling somewhat sorry for myself being left alone with our girls to raise them but I didn’t even think, until now, that every time I felt left behind and deflated on that stoop and the girls felt sad that they couldn’t reach out their arms and grab their daddy’s neck…he had to drive away alone and watch as we disappeared out of his mirror and out of his life for 5 days of the week. I am so happy to say Goodbye to Goodbyes and hello to being reunited with the Big Guy. Reunited with normal. Reunited as a 7 day a week family and no more commuter marriage.
Reunited together;Survived Our Commuter Marriage
2011/08/08
Birth Control, Smirth Control ~ Who’s up for a game of Reproduction Roulette?
Birth Control, Smirth Control! What a Friday it’s been. My boobs are sore, I’m so freaking irritable that my mom offered up one of her precious panic attack halting Xanax,I’m exhausted and annoyed and craving fruit like it’s crack and I’m Whitney Houston. But for some reason, my Mom is hell bent on asking me..”Are you pregnant?” This only further irritates me. Hell really hath no fury like a woman on the verge of menstruating.
“No,Mom! It’s that time of month…why else are you throwing Xanax at me?”
But then I started thinking, as I do every single month, because I like to play russian roulette with my reproduction…am I pregnant?
Birth Control
Due to the stress of my life, after many years of EVERY kind of birth control under the sun, I gave up birth control almost 2 years ago. I’ve tried various pills, the patch ( that left a crusty bandaid rash..Ooh so sexxy), the Nuva ring ( which slipped out with increased cervical fluid, effectively defeating its entire purpose), vaginal inserts coupled with condoms ( why yes, it is very attractive when my vagina was frothing like a rabid dog. Why no? My vagina does not have a hangover and I did not insert an alka seltzer into my vagina for this occasion.) Hell, there was even a day in there where I considered getting an IUD (desperate times, desperate measures, my friends.) So when my doctor told me that I’d have to relinquish and go to a natural method, let’s just say I not so much gave it up as had it pryed from my cold dead hands by my gynecologist. Apparently, when you are over 35 and crazy stressed, birth control pills can cause you to stroke out or some shit like that. Well, you know what else can make a woman over 35 stroke out? A surprise baby!

Every single month, I spend a good 3 days wondering…”Am I pregnant?” It’s really not ever a possibility because between “other” forms of birth control, abstinence, knowing my ovulation, only seeing my husband on the weekends and being prone to exhaustion and migraines…it’s more of an irrational fear. But still, every month it’s the same thing. 1 day of wondering where the hell my period is? 1 day of thinking,Oh my God, maybe this could be the illusive little boy ( our unicorn). And the 3rd day, praying to God that I’m not pregnant.Then like magic, with a choir of angels singing in the background, I am visited by the gift of eve.
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Michal Zacharzewski, www.sxc.hu.
Birth Control
Why do I do this to myself? Maybe it’s that 2.5 dream that’s been beaten into my head since I was a child. Maybe I really do want another kid? Nah, I think I just like having the option and I’ve always liked living my life on the edge. Keeps things interesting. The smell of a friend’s newborn is all it takes for me to develop a sudden onset of amnesia. Luckily, my girls snap me out of it by throwing an epic bedtime tantrum, reminding me that I’m STILL wiping asses and co-sleeping. Worse still I’ve lost half my hair from stress and my mom won’t be around to supply me with Xanax after the summer break.
Birth Control
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2011/07/16
How I Cured Myself of Type 2 Diabetes in 3 Months

Once upon a time, there was a mom who forgot to take care of herself. She put off physicals, yearly gynecological visits, haircuts and dentist’s visits because everyone else came before herself. She got diabetes, hypertension and high cholesterol, had a heart attack and died obese. She didn’t know the signs of diabetes. She didn’t know type 2 diabetes symptoms. That’s how the story could have gone, still can, if we’re being honest. Make good choices people. And the story could be how that mom worked her tail off, put herself first for the first time in a very long time and figured out how to reverse diabetes in 3 months.
The kids were healthy and never missed a dentist appointment, doctor appointment or even a haircut. They wanted for nothing. Neither did her husband. However, mom always came last. No one asked, or expected, her to do this. She just did.
Diabetes didn’t care how selfless she thought she was.
One day after many years of ignoring her own needs, eating whatever was fast and cheap, not exercising and wearing herself out doing for others, she was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and hypertension. She is me. I am the mom who forgot to take care of herself. I am a diabetic. Have you forgotten to take care of yourself?
READ ALSO: How a Simple Doctors Visit might have Saved my Life
I’m not special. This isn’t an unusual set of circumstances. Many parents, especially moms, put ourselves last because the goal of life is to keep your family alive and healthy. I didn’t know the symptoms of diabetes so I didn’t think anything about it when I was tired after eating a high carb meal. I just thought I was an exhausted mom.
Do you know the signs of diabetes?
The life goal was a good, strong marriage and to raise good human beings. To travel the world and enjoy life. This is the ball that we keep our eyes on. Then one day, it’s too late. Suddenly, the signs of diabetes are everywhere you look and somehow you managed to miss every single one of them. You’ve got a diagnosis or three and shit is about to get really real for you. Hypertension. Diabetes. Anxiety. Depression. High cholesterol. Cancer. A heart attack. A stroke. There are too many diagnoses to mention but if you’re a mom, you’ve probably already gotten a diagnosis or two of your own and maybe you don’t even know it.
So there I sat in May hearing the “wahwahwahwahwahwah” as all the blood rushed to my head, after my doctor delivered the blow, “You are severely diabetic and you need to leave here and go directly to the pharmacist, do not stop, get your prescriptions and take your high blood pressure medicine in the car because you are also super hypertensive and could literally have a stroke at any minute. Also, you are morbidly obese.” *Slightly rephrased because “wahwahwah” was all I heard after she told me that I was severely diabetic. It felt like a death sentence. I could have been. My Uncle Ramon died from his diabetes. Latinos are highly predisposed to diabetes and high blood pressure. Why did I think I was special? I was terrified and depressed. How had it gotten to this point?
Type 2 diabetes doesn’t discriminate.
It was just a “few” bad choices, right? Ate some junk food. Never counted calories. Never counted carbs. Either ate whatever, whenever or never ate at all. Never “had time” to exercise. Ignored the symptoms or poopoo’ed them away because who has time for such luxuries as being sick and getting well. I have places to be, people to see and children and husband and the PTA who all depend on me.
Spoiler alert: The world will not implode if you take a few days off and take care of yourself. People can pick up the slack and figure shit out if they need to. No one will hate you (and if they do, so what). Generally, people are pretty good and they really do want the best for you but people only treat you the way you allow them to. If you show them a martyr, superwoman then they are going to push you like a martyr superwoman. Pssst, it’s ok to be human.
READ ALSO: What to do when You Realize You’re Doing Parenting All Wrong
But you don’t me to tell you that. You need me to tell you how I changed all of that. How I went from a morbidly obese, hypertensive diabetic to a mom on a mission who reversed her diabetes in 3 months. Sounds easy right? Like turning a car around but it’s anything but. Being a diabetic is a serious condition and can have serious health ramifications so if you have been warned that you are “prediabetic” take it seriously.
Being prediabetic is a major diabetes symptom red flag. Don’t ignore it.
Soon, you will drop the “pre” and just be a full-blown diabetic and your doctor will be checking your feet to see if you’ve lost feeling and never allowed to go barefoot again. You’ll have to have a special diabetic eye exam to make sure you’re not going blind and will never see your children’s beautiful faces again. You’ll have to count your carbs and work out like your life depends on it because it does. I was prediabetic before I was diabetic and I did nothing about it. That “pre” gave me a false sense of safety.
What did I do to reverse my diabetes? Yes, reverse because you can’t cure. Diabetes is incurable. You either live with it and die from it or you do what you need to and reverse it and get back to a non-diabetic state but whatever damage has already been done, has been done and you can always become diabetic again if you start making those wrong choices again. That’s my warning, that’s my real talk.
READ MORE: Food’s an Addiction and Sugar’s a Drug
How to reverse diabetes
Putting Yourself First
The first thing you have to do is make yourself a priority in your own life. Really. You won’t be alive to take care of or love and be loved by anyone if you don’t take care of yourself because you will be dead. Diabetes can kill you. Type 2 diabetes is completely controllable and reversible but you have to care about and love yourself enough to put your health above everything and everyone else. It sounds impossible but it’s not. With the love and support of those you love, you can do it.
Medicine
If you’re like me, you hate to take medicine. It sucks. Everything has side effects. You’ve seen the commercials; to help alleviate your depression you may become suicidal and to alleviate your migraine you can go blind. They have to list every side effect ever. But sometimes you need medicine from the Canadian Pharmacy to survive or at least until you can work towards getting healthy enough to not need it. I’m not on insulin but I was prescribed medication to control my diabetes and my high blood pressure, along with a plan to eat healthy, count carbs and exercise. There is no easy fix. A pill cannot fix everything. A pill is a Band-Aid to help you get well enough to get healthy.
Working Out
This is hard. Starting is overwhelming but it’s not impossible. When you’re a mom, especially, trying to find the time to work out can feel like trying to find time to do your nails or get a massage, non-existent. Remember when I was talking about putting yourself first? This is part of that. Just move. It doesn’t matter how. I started with a Beachbody workout (dancing), then I threw in some BBG ab work. My mom kept urging me to “just walk” and I thought it sounded too simple. I was hesitant but it was doable and it gave me time every morning to reflect and get my mind right. 50 pounds later, mom was right. It was simple. Don’t overcomplicate things. Just move. I document my daily walks on InstaStories to keep myself accountable. If your diabetes has caused swelling in your feet and makes it uncomfortable or painful to take walks or exercise, I suggest using a pair of diabetic socks.
Join me on Instagram to follow along as I reverse diabetes. We can get healthy together.
READ ALSO: How to Lose Weight and Get Healthy Fast
Eating Healthy
Not going to lie, this was hard because eating healthy means being mindful of what you put into your body and investing in yourself because healthy food is not cheap. It is so much more affordable and convenient to buy a McDonald’s dollar menu meal than it is to go to the grocery store, buy fresh produce and lean protein, cook it and eat it after a long day at work. And that is how we’ve gotten to 30 million Americans with diabetes. Most people start showing symptoms of diabetes after the age of 45 but there are more and more children, teens and young adults who are getting diagnosed. By taking care of ourselves and choosing more carefully what to put into our bodies, we are affecting our families and their health too.
I’m not saying you have to make perfect, healthy choices every single day. I’m not saying to deprive yourself. I’m saying to be mindful of your choices and how what you do affects your body. The most important thing is to not let a little blip derail your whole program. A blip is just a blip. Move on and get back to your plan. You can do this.
Drink Your Water
Yes, water weight is a thing and drinking enough water is good for your body in so many ways. It helps flush toxins and maintain the balance of body fluids. It just makes you feel better. You should be drinking a minimum of 64 ounces of water a day. I drink closer to 100 because it’s the only thing I really drink aside from coffee and tea.
Counting Carbs
I’ve never been one who could stick to Keto or no carbs. I love carbs. Bread might be my love language. But the thing is carbs are in everything; fruit, vegetables, rice, milk, meat and sauces. But yeah, there are a lot of carbs in bread so choose wisely.
My doctor gave me a finite amount of carbs each day to consume. 45 per meal, 15 per snack, three times per day for each. Now, it’s like money, I can spend it my carbs wisely on lean proteins and fresh produce or I can waste it on a snickers bar. You can see that a grilled chicken breast, asparagus, watermelon and brown rice would be more filling than a Snickers bar. Mostly we should choose the balanced meal but if you want to choose the Snickers bar occasionally, that’s ok. Just not all day and not every day.
Portion control
Last but, definitely, not least is portion control. Before I had no idea what correct portions were. The portions that most restaurants serve are not the right sized portion for an adult human. They are often double and sometimes even triple the portion size, carbs and calories that we need. So, I started reading labels and measuring. I know, it sounds like a pain in the ass and it is but so is being dead when you want to be alive. Soon, you will learn the right portions and you won’t need to measure everything anymore. Before you know it, you will be eating for fuel and only until you are full not until you are stuffed. I used to east mindlessly and that’s how I got to where I was. Now, I am thoughtful about my choices; what I eat and how often I move.
This is how I reversed my diabetes in 3 months. It’s been 6 months since I was diagnosed with diabetes and hypertension. It’s been 3 months since I reversed it all. I will have to be mindful of my choices and work on my health every day for the rest of my life but now, it’s a habit. I look forward to it because I know I’m working towards being a better me. I feel better and I’ve lost 50 pounds. My goal is to lose 70 more pounds and to do a 5K in 2020. Did I mention by listening to my mom I’ve been walking a 5K every morning, 4-5 days a week? It’s the best part of my day and I’ve done it in everything from 20 degrees to rain, snow and 110 degrees. It’s hard but I’m worth it and so are you!
This is how I reversed my diabetes in 3 months and saved my life. Are you taking care of yourself? Why not? You deserve to be alive and happy and most certainly, healthy. You are worth the investment. I know, as moms, we put everyone else above us, it’s in our DNA but remember your why. My family, my girls and the Big Guy, are my “why” but I have to take care of me to be here to love and be loved by them. I have to love me to be able to love them. It’s simple. Take care of yourself before it’s too late.
2019/11/18
Free Tips for Maximizing Your Walt Disney World Vacation
I’ve been to Walt Disney World many times and each time I go I learn something new so I am sharing my 10 tips for maximizing your Walt Disney World Vacation for free. These are simple tips that every person that takes a Walt Disney World vacation should know before going. I’ve been about 20 times and some of these I just learned this year when I attended Disney Social Media Moms Celebration so these tips can even teach a seasoned Disney World vacation taker a thing or two or ten. Hold on to your rose gold Mickey Ears because you’re about to be blown away.
10 tips for maximizing your Walt Disney World Vacation for free
1.There are outlets and charging areas in each park. Some are well-known and easily found others are hidden in plain sight. One option available at all 4 Walt Disney World parks is to drop your phone off at Guest Relations in the park for charging. You provide your own charging cord and they will give you a claim ticket. There are outlets throughout the parks if you know where to look. My favorite charging stations are the ones in the Magic Kingdom, particularly, the false tree stumps across from the bathrooms in the Rapunzel/Tangled area and the outlets in The Yellow FastPass+ Tent in Storybook Circus.
2. You don’t have to pay $3.25 for water to survive the raging Florida heat. Disney World provides free ice water/ water bottle refills at all quick service restaurants. All you have to do is ask.
3. Everyone knows that you get three fast passes per person per day on your Walt Disney World vacation. Did you know if they are used before 3 pm, you can then schedule 1 more at a time for your group so the earlier you schedule your fast passes, the better.
4. If you are celebrating a special occasion (birthday, 1st visit, honeymoon and anniversary) every cast member will wish you a happy, pixie dusted celebration and some places you even get royal treatment like free desserts and fast passes. It’s a great way to make a celebration even more special but please, don’t say you’re celebrating if you’re not.
5. If you love Walt Disney World but hate long lines, have I got a tip for you. Lines are always shorter for rides during parades, fireworks and mealtimes. I know, it is total common sense but if you are like me, you might get swept up in all the Walt Disney World magic and totally lose all that common sense when you hit the parks. I do.
6. Speaking of long lines. I tend to get hangry and a hangry mom is a bad situation. It’s even worse than hangry toddlers. So to avoid both, use Disney’s new mobile food ordering option on the My Disney experience app. It’s like the Starbucks app, you place your order, pick up your food and eat and avoid the lines and the hangries. It’s a win, win, win. Nothing ruins a nice Disney World vacation with your family like turning into monster mom because you need food.
7. As I just mentioned the My Disney Experience app, I’m going to mention it again because it is THAT good. I use it to schedule fast passes, meal reservations and know the extended magic hours (if you are staying on grounds) 180 days in advance. Believe me you will want to get those coveted reservations as far in advance as possible. But even if you miss that 180 day window of opportunity, by using the My Disney Experience app, you can check while you are on grounds and reservations open up all the time and if you want to go old school and you like to do your Disney World vacation with no tech whatsoever, most restaurants do take some walk-ups.
8. Speaking of magic hours, like the way I did that? If you are staying at one of the Disney resorts on grounds or one of their participating partners, you can take advantage of magic hours which are either an extra hour in the morning before the general public is allowed into the park or a few hours at the end of the night. It is a great way to grab photos that are not saturated with strangers and get in line for the most popular rides and avoid some of the wait time. At night, it is so much fun to ride the rides in the dark and also to have access with so many fewer people. I highly recommend planning your days in the park according to the days they have extended hours.
9. Memory Maker is your friend. As a mom, I’m usually never in the photos and that makes me sad especially when we are making all those amazing memories on our Disney World vacation. However, with Memory Maker I can just let Disney take all the photos and not worry about it. Then I have access to 100s of photos including those hilarious ride photos. It’s simple you find the photographers in the parks ( they are everywhere) and they will take your photo. They scan your magic band and voila, they appear in your my Disney Experience. Same protocol when you get off the rides, go to the kiosk and scan your band. They even do some Disney Magic and add fun little surprises to some of your photos.

10. Last but not least, my best tip for maximizing your Walt Disney World vacation for free is to simply be in the moment, enjoy yourself and most importantly enjoy your family. Those little ones will only be little for a little while and it goes by in a flash. Who stole my toddlers and gave me these teens? Luckily, magic is not just for the little ones. Walt Disney World has a way of transforming us all into happy, excited 4-year-olds every time we walk through the gates. That’s the real magic and I love every single minute of it, every single time.
What is your best tip for maximizing your Walt Disney World vacation for free?
2018/03/28
Honey, we need to talk
When I was in my 20’s, I felt I was too young to have kids.When I actually did have my first girl, in my early 30’s, I was planning to plan to have a baby. Then we planned Gabs and after 1 month of actively trying, we were pregnant. When is the right time? There really is no right time. It’s like that moment right before the wax is removed from your upper lip, its scary as hell but sometimes you’ve just got to pull the trigger or you’ll never accomplish anything. If we were all to afraid of the certain pain it takes to remove the wax, we’d all be running around either with hot wax or hair on our upper lips. Am I too old to have any more? Has my womb become a cavernous black hole filled with cobwebs and brittle remnants of my past? These are the thoughts that plague my mind in my 5 seconds of free time every single day, lately.
I don’t feel 38, I feel the same as I did when I was 25 but much, much wiser in the ways of the world, relationships, and myself. After Gabs was born, we were conflicted whether or not to have another baby. After all, we already had these 2 perfect little girls and, at least me, felt that to have any more might be getting greedy.The Big Guy and I discussed it and decided to make a decision by the time Gabs was 2.Two came and went and it was basically accepted that we were a family of 4. We both breathed a sigh of relief that we had made a decision…sort of. Gabs is now 3 and I am not sure what I feel anymore.
The Big Guy occasionally makes a joke that we need to have ” a boy”..you know our illusive unicorn baby. I’m not sure if he’s joking just to drive me insane or if he actually might want another baby.It starts getting hard when you see that your babies are no longer babies. Bella’s in kindergarten and it feels like she already has one foot out of the door. Every day she becomes more and more independent. I realize that is what we want to happen. She is amazing but with each new miracle and milestone she performs, we know its only a matter of time that she is no longer in need of our immediate care. Then there is Gabs, who is just so sweet and lovable and squishy but each day I can see her getting her big girl face and it breaks my heart. She is picking up everything at lightening speed because she is her sister’s little clone.
Lately I have noticed myself wondering what if? How would this be? How would our lives change? I just don’t know if its a genuine hunger for another baby or is it not wanting to have my options closed or am I just feeling the twitches of my uterus a little more than usual because my girls are growing up so quickly? How do you know when you are absolutely done? Obviously, it will start with a serious talk with the Big Guy.It’s a little hard to broach the subject when I’m not sure how I feel myself and he’s only here on the weekends. That’s a pretty serious topic to hit him over the head with when he walks in the door on a random Friday evening.
Then there is the factor that no matter how old I may feel, I am, in fact, 38. I always told myself no ba
bies after 35. It was like this magical stopping point because of risks and statistics. Of course, I have spoken to my doctor and she says that I am perfectly healthy and another baby would not be an issue. Then again, there are NO guarantees in life. None! Have I mentioned to you that I am a complete control freak.Then I get that feeling of tempting the fates, again.I am so conflicted. To be clear, there is no baby in the works. It’s just something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately and I thought you ladies could weigh in.So, my question to you …what’s too old to get pregnant? How did you know that you were done having babies..for certain? I just keep having a feeling that I am supposed to be the Mommy of 3 but that could just be the baby pictures I just looked at talking. But how could these pictures not make your uterus twinge?
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You do have to admit, we do good work! Look at those gorgeous little girls!
2010/10/12
This Blogger’s Life…Cecily Kellogg
Today, I am honored to welcome a woman who needs no introduction and is a force to be reckoned with in the blogging community, Cecily Kellogg to This Blogger’s Life.
I have “known” Cecily for a few years now but finally had the pleasure of meeting her last year at BlogHer. When I met her I found her to be more beautiful in person than she appears online ( that sounds wrong but what I mean is that she is such a vibrant woman and I don’t feel that comes across fully online) and she is one of the kindest and most down to earth people I’ve ever met. She greeted me with a hug and felt like an old friend almost immediately.
I’ve always enjoyed reading UpperCase Woman for the transparency of her words and she’s always writing about what’s new and changing on the Internet. Cecily is a kind soul whose words have weight. She is a doer in the world. She sees something wrong, she puts her back into it and she tries to make a difference. I love that about her.
Cecily is truly one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook. She looks hardcore like she could kick your ass ( and she probably could if you got on her bad side) but I think you’d be hard pressed to find someone nicer.
I’m honored to call Cecily Kellogg my friend and it’s my privilege to have her on This Blogger’s Life today.
This Blogger’s Life…Cecily Kellogg
Why did you start blogging?

In 2003 I was desperately trying to get pregnant and couldn’t. Someone on a fertility message board
linked to a handful of blogs and I finally found my tribe. I devoured those blogs and the blogs they all
linked to, and by March of 2004 I started blogging myself.

What’s one piece of advice that you would give to a new blogger?

Don’t blog about deeply personal things if you’re a sensitive person. I’m sensitive – even hypersensitive
– and my own psychological makeup means I don’t have many tools for creating barriers between what
people say about me and how I react to them, although I am working on it (part of this is also because I’m
an alcoholic; we tend to take everything very personally).

What are the three words that describe you best?

Loud, funny, and sensitive.

What is your favorite website?

Oh god, just one? I couldn’t possibly begin to narrow that down. I mean, I live online. It’s like asking
someone what their favorite song is. From what decade? In what genre? I utilize so many for my life and
work I can’t imagine picking one. They are all just tools for doing what I do.

What is your favorite thing to do when you’re not blogging?

Cuddling with my daughter, or hiking.

What’s the most important thing you’ve learned about yourself from blogging?

That I am a great writer.

How do you balance life and blogging?

I actually just read a really good article about this idea of balance that we’re constantly told to strive for.
I no longer believe in balance. I just do what needs doing and try to make sure I take time to eat well,
exercise, and be with my family – but sometimes that has to all go by the wayside to get the work done I
need to do to support my family.

How has blogging changed you or your life?

Everything in my life today is because of blogging. While I do have some good hardcore pre-internet
friends in my life, and some great connections with my daughter’s school families, most of my closest
friends are people I’ve met through blogging. It also completely changed my career – not always in the
best ways – and now I run a boutique content marketing agency that serves a very particular niche. While
I’ve struggled as a personal blogger – I recently closed comments on posts because of the chronic abuse
I received from a group of folks – it’s like breathing for me. I can’t imagine life without it.

What do you think makes a successful blog? A great blog? Are they one in the same?

In the decade I’ve been blogging, that has changed so much. I think a great blog requires all of the
following: excellent writing, great story telling, and a beautiful and user friendly responsive design. It
doesn’t matter what niche the blog falls in, if it has those components it can be a great blog. The blogs I
read the most, however, are either industry blogs about tech/content/social media or are the old-school
blogs written in memoir style that share way too much information and make me fall in love with the story.

If you were to stop blogging today, what would you do with the rest of your life?

I’ve thought about this so much, and in fact, have set up my life so that I can walk away from blogging if I
need to do so. I’d continue working in online content, just from a business perspective instead of personal
one (which is about 80% of the work I do already). I’d probably expand deeper into marketing work as
well. And I’d finally write that damn book.

How do you balance telling your story, without telling the story of others in your life?

Ah, the big question. I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes other people don’t want to star in your
story. It’s an awkward dance, of course, because my family is part of my story daily. For instance, I often
write about my father abandoning me as a baby because it has impacted my life in so many ways, but it
can be hard for my siblings to hear how I feel about him. I’ve taken posts down at their request. But the
biggest change, of course, is that my daughter is now eight and reads my blog now and then and I need
to bear that in mind when I write about her. She approves every post where I speak only about her, and
any photos I post of her. Eventually, I imagine, I won’t be able to write about her at all, and that’s okay.
I’m not a mommy blogger anyway.

Blogging has changed a lot, just since I started 5 years ago, what do you miss about blogging in
the early days? What do you love that has changed?

Blogging wasn’t competitive in the early days. It was, really and truly, about community and supporting
each other. But even so, it was plagued with personalities. I had a huge falling out with another infertility
blogger after I lost my twins around early 2005, and it was rough and divided our community for a while.
While today the competitiveness is mostly around the “fame” and the money, it was there even back then.
I will say that in general the level of vitriol on the web has gotten so, so much worse. That’s the worst
thing by far. Blogging is rather terrifying now; I’ve been threatened with everything from violent rape to
being reported to children’s services and more. Without careful monitoring of what I view online, I would
see non-stop messages about how awful I am. It’s fucking exhausting.
However, the good part is still the community. I have gotten to know so many amazing people through
blogging. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

How do you consistently come up with relevant and shareable content?

Well, I obviously find myself fascinating as that is what I generally write about. But I also write about
elements of politics and culture too.

If you could have a dinner party for 6 people, living or dead, who would you invite?

Honestly? I could list amazing historical figures I’d love to meet, but I’d really rather just have a dinner
party with my “sister wives”, or my closest girlfriends.

What’s the one thing that people would be surprised to learn about you?

I’m not tough, not even a little. Also, I’m very short and I’m much fatter than I look in my gorgeous avatar
photos.

What’s the one post that you are most proud of?

This one: https://uppercasewoman.com/2007/04/19/health_vs_life_/

Cecily, I know that you are super busy and I really appreciate you taking the time to let me interview you. Thank you for sharing your stories, no holds barred. It was my pleasure to have you on This Blogger’s Life. xoxo
2014/06/20