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The TRUTH About Motherhood

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  • In the real world…Life happens

    I just finished week 2 of Nutrisystem and I have lost another 1.5 pounds. I will admit I was a little upset that it wasn’t the 3 pounds of last week but then again it was my ‘water retention’ week of the month. Not to mention, I ate dinner away from home twice. It wasn’t like I ate fast food but it also wasn’t my Nutrisytem food so I am sure that had a lot to do with it. But then again this is real life and I want you to know that I am not perfect and life throws us unexpected curve balls. So, what did I do? I took it for what it was and I jumped back on the Nutrisystem plan. That’s the key, you can’t give up and have the mentality that “I messed up on this meal, the whole day’s a wash. So,I’ll eat whatever I want.” It’s so easy to fall into that.I’ve done that many, many times before and look where its landed me..wondering why I gained so much weight, even though if I had just been honest with myself…I would have know exactly where my plan got derailed.

    I am still loving the food. Obviously, there are some foods that are better tasting to me than others but of course that is a matter of personal taste.I can tell you that if you eat a piece of Nutrisystem pizza while your family has Papa Johns or Pizza Hut, you will be just as fulfilled. Of course, I wouldn’t recommend, for me anyways, eating the Nutrisystem Orange chicken while your family is eating P.F. Changs…its just not the same when you are looking at their plates.One thing that I have been eating a lot of and really loving is buying those big bag salads and then sauteing some stir fry chicken cut breasts and topping the salad.I’ll have that with a Nutrisystem trail mix bar for lunch some days and it is amazing!

    So, here I am week 2 and I am down 4.5 pounds and I am ecstatic because 4.5 pounds down is better than even one ounce up, especially at this time of year! My way of thinking is changing too as my body is changing. I have noticed that I am a lot more aware of what I am putting into my mouth.The mindless eating has ceased. Writing everything down and knowing the correct portion sizes has made a huge difference. Another thing that I have done, which is helpful to me, I have taken a poster board and divided it into four columns 1)Date 2)Actual weight ( when I weigh myself each week) 3) Goal weight (I’ve set a goal of 2 pounds a week, just to keep me focused) 4) Exercise ( I tick how many times a week I exercise). This is just a visual to help keep me accountable and on task. And last but not least, a very valuable lesson that I have learned this week is DRINK YOU WATER!!! It really makes a difference.

    I can feel with each passing day, I am getting a little more comfortable in my skin. Thanks for all the support, my friends.  I am loving this journey and can’t wait to share with you all when I reach my final destination.

    DISCLOSURE: Nutrisystem is providing their  program to me free of charge in exchange for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogging Program and weekly updates. I am not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed in this post are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255

  • Mommy Friends; Worth their Weight in Gold

    We all know that our friends are priceless. A good friend to share your thoughts with and have some camaraderie with really can make life a lot happier.It makes things fun. You have a cheerleader, someone who always ‘gets’ you.Someone, aside from your husband, who you can be yourself with and they still love you…perks and quirks.

    There is something even more precious than a friend and that is the rare mythical creature called a Mommy friend.I’m not referring to the ladies in the  drop off line that you share nothing with other than being mothers of kindergartners. I am not referring to the ladies in the Moms Groups that have to be nice to you because you go to church together.I’m not even referring to those Stroller Striding, Gymboree, baby wearing mates that you spend your days with. Hell, I am not even touching on the Moms you met through common friends and who you have coffee and gossip with while the kids run a muck.The group I am referencing is that very small piece of the population that you meet through some kid like function, your eyes meet, she looks normal, your kids like her kids, her kids like your kids, and you actually can have a conversation outside of your children about, you know, the other things in your life. *gasp*

    I know its verboten to speak of such things but it happens occasionally. You know the lady you unsuspectingly meet at ballet class or while at the library checking out dvds books and you have the same parenting technique, you are both drowning in the velvet sea of children and someone takes mercy and tosses the other a flotation device…you know, to save her life!And its like falling in love, but without all the sex to mess it up. You recognize her by her nervous smile and exhausted sighs. In that moment, she rescues you from the isolation that was your island of parenting solitude.

    I’ve always had a lot of friends.That’s just who I am. I come from a large family and that’s what we do..people and relationships. When you’re from a large family with not a lot of money, you have to develop a personality.It’s the only thing that you’ve got to offer. I noticed as I had children, loads of my friendships fell to the wayside. Not because I chose it, or even they did, but we grew apart. Either they didn’t have kids or our kids were at vastly different stages in life, leaving us in vastly different stages of motherhood.It makes a difference.It’s like being at the beginning of life or the end of life. Of course we could benefit from that relationship but who has the time or energy when you are trying to chauffeur, cook, fold, clean, wipe asses, comb tangled hair,stop littles from eating the toothpaste and running into the street, and about 2000 other things simultaneously.

    Its a little scary. I have two children and in the 5 years that they have been alive, I have made 5 in real life Mommy friends. Yes, of course I’ve met plenty of wonderful ladies to have play dates with or chat up during drop off and pick up but only 5 have I shared a real connection. Only 5 do I want to sit down and talk about whats really going on in my life. Only 5 that would want to share a glass of wine and  get my advice. Only 5 that I can unleash my verbal diarrhea on and them actually engage with a thoughtful answer and not a head shake, blank stare and a “Right, right”. These ladies are my village. These ladies are the ones who have seen me at my best and my worst and don’t judge me for it. Don’t think less of me for being human.These friends are worth double their weight in gold. They are my tether to sanity.They are amazing.

    Who are your Mommy friends?How and where did you meet them? What do you think qualifies a true Mommy friendship?

  • Nestled in between the Rock and the Hard place

    The last few days, life has been weighing on me like a ton of bricks. I’ve been somewhat of an emotional wreck.I’m feeling as if I am falling short..in every avenue.


    I have become accustomed to the weight of the world pushing down on my shoulders like a spring about to be sprung at anytime. This I am used to but  kept telling myself..”I” can do this. It’s only  for a few more months. I can hold it together.If the Big Guy can go away to support his family, leave his home and his children..I can do this. I am afforded the luxury of staying in my own home with our little family by my side. Sure the silence after they go to bed is deafening and sometimes heartbreaking, but it is the least I can do.I owe it to ‘Us’ to be able to do this.Of course, I have my occasional breakdowns and find myself having a nice long, ugly cry over some seemingly innocuous incident. But then I move on and I am free of the pressure for a little while.


    But I forgot about one vital piece of information…them. More important than can I do this, can they do this.


    Bella had a terrible time last year when this all began.She had to leave her preschool with all her friends, her teacher, her life.Then when the Big Guy had to leave this past spring again, she was a wreck.He had to leave the day before her 5th birthday. An angry, displaced, overwhelmed little basket of nerves. I understood. I gave her some time and space. I was there with hugs and consolation. I was there overflowing with understanding and love.Always standing by with love. I never want them to feel a lack of love because of the lack of people around to give it. It broke my heart to watch her have to go through this at such a young age. To feel such misery and discombobulation is awful for anyone to experience. Eventually, the anger subsided. She grew up..too much and too fast because she was forced to accept the situation and learn to live with it.This breaks my heart to know that she has lost some of her innocence about the world because of money. I hate to see my children want for anything, especially when it is their Daddy, whom they really do hang the moon on.


    There was one person who was silent through it all, my Gabs. Gabs is 3 and this situation with the Big Guy having to be gone, for work, has been going on since right around the time she turned 2.She was just a baby, really. So, I never considered how it would affect her. I don’t think I even put her into the equation because she was so small. However now, she is 3 and a half and she has found her voice.She notices everything and she has an opinion.The last 8 months have consisted of me being here with my girls trying to figure it all out, the Big Guy being gone, on his own,alone.It’s been Christmas Fridays and funeral Sunday nights left standing on the stoop, while watching  through tear filled eyes as my girls run down the road waving bye to their Daddy;screaming “I love you” at the top of their lungs. It’s been Sunday nights filled with meltdowns of little girls missing their Daddy. Its been week nights of soothing little broken hearts calling out for their Daddy. It’s been hard all the way around. Lately, Gabs has been acting out.She cries for her Daddy almost nightly and she tells me on a regular basis that she hates me and quite frequently can be heard asking “You hate me, don’t you?” I know that she doesn’t hate me but lately her question has been cutting like a knife through my soul. She wants her Daddy and I am beginning to wonder if she doesn’t think I am punishing her by not being together. Does she think I have control of this situation? In her little mind, does she think I have willingly chosen to keep us all apart?


    It’s almost too much for my heart to bear.The rock and the hard place that I am nestled between is this; Bella is finally comfortable in school ( after being yanked out of her school in Virginia last year) and has finally made friends after the alienation episode at the beginning of this semester. I feel like I owe it to her to make life as normal as possible. After all , she is the child and I am her parent so I need to sacrifice to do what is best for her. That has been the plan since we first pulled this nasty trick on her. The Big Guy and I agreed to sacrifice so that the kids could remain in  their home, their city, until the end of the school year..to give them security and stability. It’s been incredibly difficult but it seemed to be what was best.


    Now,little Gabs is begging me to move us to be with the Big Guy; crying nightly, angry, confused, melancholy and still so small. What do I do? How do I choose? One scenario I pull Bella out, once again, and she has to start over..yet again. That doesn’t seem fair. But then on the other hand, Gabs only wants to be with her father.Its such a simple request and a luxury that all children ,with two happily married people,should be afforded.But even this simple request, I can’t provide for the little people that I love more than life itself.This weighs heavily on my soul.Am I making the right choice? How can I choose one of my children’s happiness over the other? What are going to be the ramifications of these choices we are making today for our children down the line?Am I damaging my little ones?


    So, here I sit alone in the quiet reevaluating every decision that I have made since the beginning of this entire situation.The last 24 hours have been a roller coaster of emotions. It started with goodbye on a Sunday night, the girls started crying and they wore down the armor around my heart.And I haven’t been able to regain my strength and stability, the weight of their little breaking hearts has knocked me off of my feet.Today has been a succession of crying over movies, tv shows, Gabs telling me that she hates me, and a bedtime reading of Love You Forever. I feel like a fragile ball of exposed nerves  roaming free in the world. I am exhausted from the gravity of this whole ordeal. For now, I’ll pull my armor back on and regain my balance, for my girls. But I have to do some very serious soul searching. We think we are giving our children everything they could hope for but in the end, it boils down to what everything is to our children. For my girls, everything is a good night hug from their Daddy. It is priceless. How do I choose who deserves to be happiest? How do I tell one that their needs has to be put aside for the others?

  • The Rose Colored Christmas Conspiracy

    My favorite Christmas memory as a child was from when I was about 3 years old, it was the first year we were spending away from Ohio. We were living in Indiana about a block away from the Illinois border, in a small apartment with really huge floor to ceiling windows. I don’t know why I remember the windows so vividly. Prior to that we had lived in Dayton, near my father’s Uncle Ramon. Uncle Ramon and Aunt Doris were like my grandparents, since we never lived near my actual paternal grandparents, who lived in Mexico.Uncle Ramon and Aunt Doris were like the glue that held our family together, in a lot of ways.They bridged the gap between my Mother and Father. It was frightening and yet exciting. I remember feeling like something big was happening.
    That Christmas I remember being special because it was our first year, as just ‘our’ family, the four of us. Well, my parents, Carlos (my little brother) and I, until my father’s brothers showed up. We always had a house full of relatives. We were never really alone. It’s hard to know how you genuinely feel about the people in your life when you only ever see them in the midst of a perpetual party. There was never any down time.Never any quiet moments with children and parents, just being.Those moments that I have come to realize (as a parent myself now) are imperative to the parent child relationship.
    This particular memory, I remember playing outside in the snow in our big crazy snowsuits, having snow ball fights with our Dad and uncles ,who seldom wore gloves.No idea why that sticks in my mind as being significant but I must have thought it very bizarre. They were from Mexico and I really don’t think they even thought about gloves as being an option. Every single photo I come across, they are throwing snowballs, without gloves. Then we’d all come inside and Carlos and I would sit in our little chairs (his upholstered in 70’s fashion avocado green and yellow flowers) and mine was a Big red teddy bear rocking chair that I was absolutely obsessed with. Our Mom would bring us hot chocolate and Carlos and I would watch whatever crazy 70’s cartoon was on at the time or if we were really lucky, an episode of the Monkees in syndication.What can I say? I had a wee crush on Davey Jones, even at the ripe old age of 3. It was unimportant what was on television, it was about sitting in those chairs and being beside my little brother. The illumination from the gaudy 1 string of colored lights outlining the huge gold curtains would dance against the plastic on the big velvet chairs. We’d sit there listening to the silver chirping bird ornament emanating from deep inside the Christmas tree covered with endless strings of flashing colored lights and tinsel that looked, in retrospect, that our Mom just let us throw by the handfuls on the tree. Sometimes we’d climb up under the tree to see if we could find that damn chirping bird and put it out of its misery, but we never did. Mostly, there we sat, my brother and I, hypnotized as we sat staring into space with our hot coco mustaches. I know it sounds so simple, innocuous even, but it was the best Christmas ever.
    I do remember that Christmas I got a baby doll that was taller than I was, I could barely move the box to open her. She was beautiful and had long brown hair and big almond eyes, just like me. I loved that doll so much I even let her sit in my favorite chair that I never shared it with anyone. That Christmas was also the same year that Carlos got a giant red fire truck. He tore the wooden floors up with that truck running it back and forth and back and forth for hours. We were both over the moon.But something was missing.Maybe it was Uncle Ramon and Aunt Doris, or maybe just the place they held in the relationship between our parents or between our parents and Carlos and I. Maybe I was just too little to understand but could “feel” something was off.On paper and in pictures, it was amazing.
    I look at those pictures and Carlos and I look completely happy. In reality, we were oblivious, as we should have been at 3 and 1 years old. We were happy and blissful and colored lights and bright shiny toys from Santa in a brand new apartment were all that was needed to make this the best Christmas ever, to us. When I look closer at the photos, my Mom looks tired and my Dad looks like he had someplace else to be. He definitely looks like he had someplace else that he wanted to be. Soon after this Christmas is when we all became painfully aware that my father was an alcoholic and my Mom was miserable dealing with the abuse that comes with being married to an alcoholic. For a moment, in a picture of a Christmas in a different place and a different time, we all looked happy.
    The years that followed, from age 3 until I was 26, the pictures have smiles but the eyes tell another story. They were pasted on smiles and there was no happy memories to be made because every single holiday meant, a father who drank and had an erratic temper that could go off the handle and ruin everything on a whim. Those pictures from our first Christmas in Indiana reminds me of the potential things had to be different; to be good. Those photos show me the potential for Christmas to be snowball fights and coco mustaches, naïve happiness and joy at simply being together. Instead, the reality for us was that a completely carefree, happy Christmas with my parents was a once in a lifetime event. That alone makes it my favorite memory. It has also been the paradigm from which I have chosen to use as the antithesis of how I want to spend my Christmases with my own children. It’s about the love and the togetherness, not doing the right thing on paper and photos.

  • Nutrisystem Week 13 Update~Get back up & Dust yourself Off

    This week when I stepped on the scale, I have to admit..I was not expecting good things. As many of you know, I have been packing and cleaning my house to put it on the market so we can move to be closer with the Big Guy. Over the past weekend, my Mom came into town to help us pack. Things were really hectic and food ended up being an after thought.One night I was so tired and hungry that I ate what was sat in front of me, which happened to be a Big Mac and fries. And exercise, well it was non existent this past weekend. I was so tired from cleaning that the thought of trying to Zumba or any other extracurricular exercise, quite frankly, made me want to jump out of the skin that I am so desperately trying to feel comfortable in. So, no surprise that this week..I gained a pound. Bringing my grand total to, once again, 16 lbs. It was a momentary indulgence in a weekend of non existent routine. It was a slip and fall…right off my Nutrisystem wagon. But you know me, I’m pulling myself right back up and dusting myself off and getting back on that horse.

    I also wanted to share some exciting New Nutrisystem News with you all to make it easier for friends and family to join the Nutrisystem family too. Right now Nutrisystem is featuring a Rollback Sales Event – now people can join Nutrisystem in 2011 at 2003’s prices!!! How awesome is that??

    DISCLOSURE: Nutrisystem is providing their  program to me free of charge  in exchange for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogging  Program and weekly updates. I am not required to write a positive  review. The opinions I have expressed in this post are my own. I am  disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16  CFR, Part 255

  • Throat Punch Thursday;No Respect for Women Edition

    This week, I couldn’t decide who was most deserving of the Throat Punch on this lovely below zero Thursday, so I decided to do a two-for – one Throat Punch Thursday!

    Our first recipients are the father and relatives of 21 year old Pakistani woman, Saima Bibi. According to CNN, Bibi, an ethnic Baluch , defied demands from her family to marry a Baluch relative and instead ran away last month to the southern port city of Karachi to marry a fellow villager, police official Rao Zahoor said. Romantic , right? If this were a movie, we’d all be up in our seats cheering on true love. But this is not a Taylor Swift song or a teen romance movie, this is real life..Pakistani style.

    Bibi’s father and several other relatives traveled to Karachi and duped her into coming back home. I’m not sure what they could have said to me to make me think in any way, shape or form that it was OK to go home with them. But for some reason, she believed it was safe. Or maybe they threatened her. Which is what I think would be more likely. She was probably bullied into going home. According to officials, when she didn’t listen to further demands, they allegedly electrocuted her. Like I said, bad idea! If this were a horror movie, I would have been screaming form my seat..DON’T GO!

    Bibi’s family told police that she committed suicide, but a medical report showed signs of torture and electrocution on her hands, legs and back, police said. Well, unless she electrocuted herself in some warped, double jointed suicidal stunt, I find this scenario highly implausible.

    Human rights groups say so-called ” honor killings” , the murder of women accused of infidelity and dishonorable behavior , are a growing problem in parts of Pakistan. If the problem is known, isn’t there something someone should be able to do? Who do we need to write? Is there a petition I need to sign? Money I need to send somewhere? I’m serious, there has got to be a better way!

    A 2009 study by the European Journal of Public Health showed one out of every five homicides in Pakistan was an honor killing. WTF? Are you kidding me? This is 2011, right? I know its a different country with different laws and religious dogma but damn, no matter how you slice it…women should not be getting slain in the street for being humans; having thoughts, desires and wants. Shouldn’t we all have the right to choose happiness and love? Is it all about male gratification over there?I am appalled!Flabbergasted! Sickened!

    Some Baluch communities in Baluchistan province and parts of Sindh and Punjab provinces still justify honor killings. Justification? I just vomited in my mouth, a whole bunch!Totally Throat Punch Thursday worthy!

    Our next recipient deserves more than a simple Throat Punch. This recipient deserves a Throat punch, a junk punch, all rounded out by a nice hearty round house kick to the proverbial head! This recipient is the House Republicans!

    According to CNN, House Republicans are holding hearings this week on legislation to restrict federal support for abortion, a move that has little support in the Democratic-controlled Senate or White House, but is of enormous importance to the GOP’s socially conservative base. WTF? We turn our heads for one moment and they are trying to put Baby right back in a corner!

    While the measures have little chance of becoming law, the hearings provide a forum for both sides to publicly air views on the abortion debate. Great, another chance to hear hot air bags ( mostly men) discuss and delegate the consequence of the female standing. Every time I think I’m out, CNN pulls me back in. This is why I am a non practicing Political Scientist ( what? You thought I was just another pretty face? Heck Nah,I’ve got big brains in this head of mine:)

    Representative Trent Franks (AZ) equated federal law that legalizes abortion with legal slavery in the American past, and said the bill before the committee was intended to continue the same policy as the Hyde Amendment, which prohibits federal funding for abortion except in cases of rape, incest or to save the life of the mother. How can you equate abortion with slavery? Let me just say, though I personally could never imagine having an abortion, isn’t abortion about choice?  Wasn’t slavery about the lack thereof? How do the two have anything in common, other than the fact that by abolishing abortion and taking away a woman’s right to choose, you have effectively made her a slave to society’s dictatorship?

    Democratic opponents questioned the need for the new bill, saying the Hyde Amendment effectively prevented federal funding for abortion. They also argued that the bill as drafted went much further than claimed by its backers and was an effort to deny women access to legal abortions.This is “truly bad legislation coming out of the House,” said Sen. Patty Murray, D-Washington. “It’s about putting insecurity back in the lives of millions of women.”It will not happen “on our watch,” Murray said. “We are not going back in history.””These bills show a heinous disregard for the health and well-being of women in America,” said Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, D-New York.

    Republicans originally altered the definition of “rape” in the bill, saying that it pertained solely to “forcible rape” as opposed to statutory rape or other forms of assault. They later backtracked, however, after a wave of intense criticism from comedian Jon Stewart and others. So, now not only do women have to be a victim of rape they had best be getting their asses beat hardcore if they want government to back them in their choice to abort any pregnancy that may result of said assault. Apparently, House Republicans think it’s OK to treat women like second class children, to be seen and not heard, with no choices or input into their own lives. Where are we? Pakistan???

    Also generating controversy is a provision in the bill before the Energy and Commerce Committee that would prohibit the federal government from stripping financial support from hospitals that refuse to perform abortion-related services. Abortion-rights groups said the move could endanger women in potentially life-threatening situations. Anti-abortion activists, however, contend the provision is merely an extension of other “conscience” protections already in place for health care providers. I love that in all the discussion in favor of this bill, no one mentions anything about the woman in questions want or need? Does it not count? If we are going to have legislation concerning abortion changed,  maybe we should put it to a vote amongst those who it will actually effect..women. Every single woman in America should be allowed a vote. Take a consensus and then we’ll talk. For now, the Republican House is getting a big fat throat ,junk punch, round house kick to the head. What’s next? Are they going to revoke our right to vote?

    If you’d like to be a part of Throat Punch Thursday, go here to get the button to include in your post.Then come back here, leave a comment and let me know you posted!Happy Thursday!

  • Be A Better Me (You) Challenge- Days 24-26 ~ Celebrate YOUR assets

    In celebration of my birthday this weekend (yes, I’m turning 30….again!), we are going to have an entire weekend long challenge. Today’s Be A Better Me (You) Challenge- Days 24-26 ~ Celebrate YOUR assets! You heard me right. No matter what complaints you have about your life or maybe wish you could change some things, you’ve got assets girl. You may have forgotten about them because you’re too busy being obsessed with everyone else in the families …everything. But they are there. Maybe its your brilliant mind, maybe you are a social guru, maybe you’re a damn brain surgeon, maybe you are gorgeous, maybe your eyes are bluer than the ocean, maybe your lips are perfectly round, maybe you have the most amazing cooking skills, maybe you can sing like an angel, maybe you are a damn word wizard, maybe you are the most dedicated friend a person could have, maybe you are a rocking athlete, maybe you are genuine, maybe you are empathetic, maybe you are a sales woman,  a butcher, a baker,a  candlestick maker…You get the point. Take a minute to think about it and flaunt it. When you utilize your assets, you feel productive and you feel confident because its YOU! You’re not trying to keep up to some impossible standard, you got this. You know you do. I don’t care what it is, immerse yourself in it this weekend!
    Me, well, lets be honest… in my family, birthdays are a BIG  FREAKING DEAL..its not doom and gloom because you are another year older. It’s  celebrating your ass off because you have lived another year in this world with your amazing friends and family. You count your blessings, have some drinks, an amazing meal, and celebrate you and your life with those you love! Believe me, I will be celebrating all of my assets with the people I love most in the world… all weekend! Try  focusing on all that you’ve accomplished rather than what you want to accomplish this weekend. Take an inventory and be proud of your contribution to the world! You are amazing!

    And a Shout out to my Big Little brother, Carlitos! Happy 28th Birthday ( Again). Wish we could celebrate it together like we did when we were little..with our shared birthday cake! Love YOU!!!

    What a smart boy you were! From the beginning I knew you were something special!

    Sharing one of many of our many celebrations together!

    You really were the most adorable thing EVER!

    Always my best friend and now we are that much closer because we are godparents to each others kids! I am so proud of the man you have become! You are an amazing Father, Husband, Son, Brother, Best Friend,  Coach, Soccer player. You are capable of such greatness! I can’t wait to celebrate another birthday together with you.Love you Forever and then another day or so:) 
    We may be separated by geography but you are always in my heart, little brother!

    All the brothers and sisters + baby Gabs in my Tummy, minus baby brother, celebrating our birthday 4 years ago.
  • Throat Punch Thursday ~Chuck Norris Karate Chop crazy edition

    Throat Punch Thursday ~Chuck Norris Karate Chop crazy edition

    Seems like this week, I have two recipients tied for Throat Punch Thursday. Imagine that? The first one comes to us via Kenya, Africa. This is the scene, a couple welcome into the world their new baby boy. To their disappointment he is mentally handicapped. Fast forward 30 years, Thomas ( the baby boy now a man) tied to a bed surrounded by pools of his own urine. Imprisoned like this for the past 30 years by his parents.They have no choice. Angry and fearful neighbors have been chasing the family from village to village because they are afraid that he will attack them. This forces his parents to lock him in a shack, away from the outside world. They have to lock him away to keep him safe from the ignorance of the villagers who find him to be a threat. For now, Thomas’ family feels like they are being punished because they are not allowed to live their life in peace. So, who gets the throat punch you ask? Well, obviously the villagers for being so freaking ignorant and letting preconceived notions rule the world but also Thomas’ mother. Believe me, I understand the feeling of being overwhelmed and exhausted with a situation. I understand she wants a break from her misery. I understand that it’s a lot to ask of a person, even a mother,  but she goes on to say that she has never known joy since she has been married. I got the distinct impression that some harm may befall poor unsuspecting Thomas..and it won’t be at the hands of the villagers. That may be a good alibi but from the video I felt that Thomas’ mother may be on the verge of driving her cow over the edge of a very steep peak with Thomas tethered to it. So, my throat punch has to go to his poor ,exhausted and tired mother. I feel that a hefty kick to the head may be just what is needed to knock some sense into her head!

    Next Throat Punch goes to CANCER! You heard me right..Cancer! Poor little toddlers should not be having to deal with brain tumors and cancer. If they are unfortunately inflicted, it is our duty as parents to do whatever it takes to make them as comfortable as possible. We need to improve their quality of life, especially when the quantity may be drastically shortened. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to cure my child or save their life. You remember that movie John Q with Denzel Washington? That’s me..I am of the John Q parenting technique. So, I say, if medicinal marijuana is going to help my child who has been in such pain that they have not eaten for 40 days feel some comfort. You bet your sweet ass, this Mommy is going to administer medicinal marijuana if prescribed by the pediatric oncologist. I’m not saying that I’m going to go out to the seedy part of town and score some ganja on my own but I would certainly do what needs to be done, to help my child. So, cancer and judgmental assholes who have never had to hold their 3 year old down to have a forced spinal tap done to confirm a leukemia diagnosis and think that it is “wrong” or “unethical” to administer a doctor prescribed relief from the torture..THROAT PUNCH to you, right up side your head. I know the concern is the damage to short term memory and killing brain cells and all that but if my child were diagnosed and dying, living on borrowed time…why should it be the government’s choice what my own flesh and blood, fruit of my loins, my heart walking free in the world should have to endure in the name of what is politically correct? In my world, as in most parents, my number one priority is my child. Sometimes it fits the parameters of PC, others maybe not but that’s not my concern. John Q rules! Chuck Norris karate chops to cancer!

  • Earth Day 2011 ~Raising Environmentally Aware Children

    Earth Day 2011 is almost upon us. What are you planning on doing with your children to save our planet? Can’t we all stand to be a little greener? I KNOW we can in my house. Sure I take steps to be kind to the earth but when I get too busy or things get “inconvenient” all the “Green” goes out the door. So this Earth Day, I am committing to taking some steps ( with my children) to be kind to the earth. Are you? I partnered up for an  exciting Earth Day project with Nickelodeon, the National Wildlife Federation and The Motherhood.com. I signed up to be a B Kind 2 Earth Day leader for my state. You can be one too.  Just sign up here. Here are a few ideas to get you started.

     

    www.motherhoodthetruth.com
    Photo courtesy of Google

    Water

    1. Use only the water you need, and reuse when possible.
    *Rain barrels can be used to collect rain and then you can use it to water a family garden.
    *Bathe together. Put the kids in the tub together. Shower with your kids or your husband. It’s saves water, creates memories and nurtures the bond between siblings.

    2. Dispose of solid and liquid wastes and medications safely.
    *Take advantage of medication take-back programs or household hazardous waste collection programs that accept medications, pharmaceuticals, oil, paint and other liquid wastes.

    3. Protect your local water source from pollutants, excess pesticides and garbage.
    *Everyone lives in a watershed — the area that drains to a common waterway, such as a stream, lake, estuary, wetland, aquifer, or even the ocean — and our individual actions can directly affect it. For example, watch the weather and apply necessary chemicals when the rain won’t wash them away, and dispose of livestock or pet’s waste appropriately or litter off the ground.

     

    www.motherhoodthetruth.com
    Image courtesy of Google, View Courtesy of Mother Nature!

    Air

    1. Pass on gas! Take public transportation, carpool, plan your day to reduce trips and vehicle emissions.

    2. Make sure your home’s air is healthy, learn about indoor air pollutants from indoor energy use and toxins.

    3. Reduce your potential for exposure to mercury.

    4. Plant a tree. Or plant many trees! Plant a garden. Plant a vegetable garden.

    5. Prevent additional air pollution by finding alternatives to burning your waste.

     

    The air we breathe, the life we live

    Land

    1. Use pesticides safely! Reduce or eliminate where possible.

    2. Learn about composting, try it out!

    3. Learn about ‘Greenscaping’! Try it out at home and promote it in your community.

    *By simply changing your landscape to a Green- Scape, you can save time and money and protect the environment.
    *Save time by landscaping with plants that require less care
    *Save money by eliminating unnecessary water and chemical use
    *Protect the environment by:
    *Conserving water supplies.
    *Using chemicals properly and only when necessary to keep waterways and drinking water clean.
    *Reducing yard waste by recycling yard trimmings into free fertilizer.

    4. Learn about the native species and the negative effects of non native plants and animals in the environment. Plant native species in your gardens, encourage important pollinators such as bees and birds by planting gardens full of their favorite plants. Join a team in your community that removes non-native species.

     

    www.motherhoodthetruth.com
    Photo Courtesy of my Brother in Law

     

    Energy

    1. Save energy at home Choose energy-saving appliances if they’re available. Look for Energy Star!

    2. Hang dry your clothes.

    3. Go renewable! Create your own power from wind, the sun, water, or biofuels.

    4. Find alternate ways to reduce use of diesel and other fuels for transportation, production and energy.

    Waste

    1. Reuse. Upcycle! Take something that is disposable and transform it into something of greater use and value.

    2. Recycle metals, plastics and paper

    3. E-cycle Recycle and/or properly dispose of electronic waste such as computers and other gadgets

    4. Don’t litter! Properly dispose of trash and waste

     

    www.motherhoodthetruth.com
    Photo courtesy of Google

     

    This Earth Day, my family will spend the day outside and unplugged; being mindful of our footprint. We will be staying around our home,  working in our garden. I also think it’s time to teach the girls about how to separate the recyclables. On a daily basis, my girls are mindful of their footprint and the older they get the more I will explain. For now, they can help by turning off lights, separating recyclables, not wasting, bathing together, buying locally grown organic foods, helping Mommy hang the clothes on the line and remember the reusable grocery sacs. Life is good. Let’s help it stay that way but raising responsible, socially and environmentally aware children.

    www.motherhoodthetruth.com

    The world is a beautiful place and we are allowed to marvel and enjoy her on a daily basis! Please take care of her! Recycle. Reuse. Reduce! Happy Earth Day 2011! The link I am including is a link to great ideas for Earth Day activities to do with your children. Go to a National park, the local farmers market, just go outside and enjoy the marvelous planet of ours! And remember to be #kind2Earth!

    https://holidays.kaboose.com/earthday-activities.html

     

  • How Being a Father Has Changed Me

    How Being a Father Has Changed Me

    Continuing on with the celebration of the 2nd anniversary of The TRUTH about Motherhood, I am excited to introduce you all to today’s special guest writer, Josh of DadStreet.com.

    dadstreet,josh

    My name is Josh, I’m an East Coast Transplant currently living in Monterey, California.

    I’m completely and utterly in love with my children and when I’m not drooling over them I’m doing one of the following: drinking wine, taking pictures, playing with my iPhone, listening to an audio book, trying some kind of new food, surfing online, sleeping, watching TV, yappin’ on the phone, and last but not least trying to spend quality time with “The Boss”.  Oh, and I’m extremely sarcastic so please note that about 92% of what I say is crap.  True crap but crap nonetheless…

    I “met” Josh via Twitter and he is a really funny guy with a great sense of humor, a deep love for his wife and children and pretty damn snarkilicious for a Daddy. What’s not to love,right? So, if you are not familiar with Josh, please do yourself a favor and stop over at www.DadStreet.com and check him out. I would also highly recommend that you follow him on Twitter, he is a great conversationalist and will keep you on your toes. Thank you Josh for celebrating my 2nd blogiversary with me and sharing your TRUTH about Fatherhood!

    My Truth: How Being a Father Has Changed Me.

    I’m in love with more than one person. Growing up I wasn’t your typical “dude”.  For whatever reason I could only date one girl at a time.  I don’t mean I’d go out with one girl at 5:00 and then another at 6:00.  I mean, I’d always wind up being in a relationship with one girl, never dating around.  The thought of having feelings for more than one person at a time was just too confusing for me.  So there was no way I was going to juggle multiple girls.  It came as a surprise to me that I could love anyone other than my wife as much as I do.  Then even crazier was the notion I could love more than one baby.  I was so guilty when my wife was pregnant with Jake.  I was guilty because I felt like I was taking away something from O in order to give it to Jake.  Oh the guilt!  You’d think I was a Jewish mother I had so much guilt.  Oy Vey!  But you know what?  I can love more than one person and I do!  I love them all so much and each in their own way.  I’ve learned love is not quanitifiable and it knows no boundaries, certainly not when it comes to my family.
    I’m scared to death and fear nothing. Oh the things that scare me now that I’m a dad.  Moving cars in parking lots, sharp objects, choking hazards, stairs, illnesses, disease, crime, old playground equipment, unfriendly pets, earthquakes, fire,  Hello Kitty, and Barney.  Okay, the last two scare me but not quite like the rest.  The thing is becoming a dad made me realize how important these two are to me.  The thought of anything happening to them is almost inconceivable and just the remote thought of something bad fills my eyes with tears.  The reality though is quite different.  I know I don’t need to fear these things.  My babies can rely on me.  I will take care of them.  With everything in my power they will not fall victim to those things in my control.
    I’m relied on regardless of how reliable I am. Before being a dad I could goof up (often), make careless mistakes (often), and act irresponsibly with little recourse.  I’ve learned though that’s not going to be on the menu now.  Nope, Jake and O rely (very literally) on me for everything from food, water, and shelter to learned morals, values, and integrity (among many other things).  I have to be responsible now.  I owe it to them, they demand it, they deserve it, and they shall get it.  Might I slip up?  Might it take a while to get this kid (at least the bad parts of this kid) out of me?  It might but I’m going to give it my best and demonstrate to them what a reliable Dad looks like.
    I’m selfish but my children come first. I never thought of myself as a selfish person before.  Though it’s funny what you find when you actually look in the mirror.  I don’t think I was selfish in a mean, screw you kind of way.  It was more of an absent minded, I’m a big idiot kind of way.  Having Jake and O has made me realize they need to come first.  I had my time to myself first and now it’s time for them.  That doesn’t mean I should neglect my own needs, of course.  Just that my priorities need to be focused with their best interest in mind, they are my priorities now.
    I want to teach but haven’t been taught. A few months back I realized how awful our financial situation was.  I realized how many changes needed to take place, and fast.  One impetus for the change was that I wanted our children to be financially independent.  I didn’t want them to know what debt was.  I didn’t want them to be like their dad when it came to finances (at least the old me).  How could I teach them to be fiscally responsible if I couldn’t be myself?  I knew I had to first learn before I could teach.  This of course doesn’t just apply to finances but every important thing I want to pass on.
    They had no choice, I do. For the last 3 years and 2 weeks I’ve been a father.  My children didn’t have a choice who their father was going to be.  For most of my life I’ve known we had choices in which we make that determine where we go.  However, I wasn’t living that way.  Since having become a father I’ve started to truly grasp what it means to have a choice.  Many things have happened to me that I had no control over.  Things in the future will continue to happen to me and to my family under which we have no control over..  How I respond to these things, however, is directly in my power.  I have the choice to be the person I want to be.  I choose who I am.
    I want to be the father I want my children to have. I’d always wanted children, from a very young age..  I’d always thought about what it would be like having children.  I never thought so much about what it would be like to be a father though.  I have very high expectations for the type of father I want Jake and O to have.  Traits I’d want for their father include:
    Honesty, Integrity, Responsibility, Sensitivity, Thoughtfulness, Intelligence, Down right funny, Active, Supportive, Educative, Inspiration, Spirituality, Compassionate, Energetic, Charitable, and Dependability to name a few. Yeah, that was more than a few but who’s counting?
    Am I all these things now?  No, but I’m working on it and the important thing is I now know what it is I’m working towards.  We live our lives building what in the future will become our legacy.  Many of us will build our legacy without ever knowing what it was.  Being a father has taught me that I decide who I’m going to be and I determine what that legacy will be.  Now that I know what I want my legacy to be as a dad, I can pave the road to it.
    I want to show my children that they can build a path to whatever destination they want in life.  They can’t begin to build that path though if they don’t know where they’re going.  I know where I want to be and I know where I’m going.  I will take my children with me and teach them the same.  I have begun to learn what being a dad has taught me about myself.  I know that I will continue to learn, as being a dad is as much about teaching our little ones as it is about learning from the experience.

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