The TRUTH About Motherhood

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Game of Chicken Anyone?
This month is closing in on me like a Mac truck racing towards my bumper, suffocating me in the process.It started with turkey and family, and now its all a blurred haze of running to and fro, shopping, the Nutcracker is any day now, schools wrapping up, I was just informed that I am to help cook ( must be homemade..wtf?Even my kids don’t get homemade at this time of the year) for the teacher’s breakfast next month and then I got the surprise of a summons for jury duty.I almost fell to the ground in a crumpled pool of tears and assumed the fetal position.How the hell am I to fit jury duty into an already packed schedule with no family here to help? What the fuck am I, the bionic woman? Then there is Christmas. Is it just me or is anyone else feel like they are playing an intense game of chicken with Christmas?
In past years ( back when shopping was still fun for me), I’d try and have all my shopping done before the dreaded Black Friday.I thought I was so cool, all aloof and above these crazed housewives trying to save $2 on some ridiculously priced toy du jour. Oh yeah, I was a real asshole. Then I had kids and I thought, what the hell, I’ll do the Black Friday thing.I’ll play the game. The Big Guy and I went and had coffee while my MIL stayed with the baby ( she was like 8 months old).Hell, she was still sleeping by the time we had returned.There was no urgency. None at all. We were going to buy her what we wanted, no matter what it cost because she was THAT fucking special ( she takes after her Mommy).We’d even go out that afternoon, with her in tow, to buy stuff ( usually for ourselves) on the good discounts.It was a blast.
The couple years later, we had 2 kids. Money was getting a little tighter and so we decided this Black Friday had a little more importance to our lives.We had a plan, a reconnaissance mission, if you will.The objective;split up, recover the coveted items, rendezvous and pay. Simple, right?Newspapers were bought, items circled, routes plotted. We were ready.Hurrah! Then it happened…Toys R Us!If you’ve never experienced TRUS on Black Friday( or as I like to call it the fifth dimension of hell) you have no idea of which I speak. Imagine if you will hundreds of weary eyed,exhausted, broken spirit, broken mind, broken body, broken pocket book mommies and daddies waiting in the rain for a couple of hours with our same mission and a little more determined. These were the marines of parents, they were not backing down and they looked CRAZY! I’m not ashamed to admit it, I was a little afraid. The doors opened and these people, grown adults with children of their own, broke free like bats out of hell into Toys R US. There were carts being rammed, people pushed up against door jams, dolls ripped from Grandmother’s hands, in some cases, Grandmothers being beaten with said doll.It was my worst nightmare. The Big Guy and I said the hell with it, there is NOTHING in this joint worth risking our lives for..not even a damn Zune for $40. We backed our certainly out of our depth asses right the hell out of Toys R US,lucky to escape with all of our extremities and life. Beep, Beep, beep….new parents coming through. I’m sure I saw others, more seasoned parents, smirking at us and our defeat as they slightly released the death grip on their Baby Alive Dolls.
After that experience, last year we skipped it all together. We refused to even acknowledge the day existed. It was far too traumatic.The plan this year was to go out on BLACK Friday and get all my shopping done. This year, I have been a Mommy for 5 years. This year, money is tight.The year has been hard with all the traveling, tears and Daddy being away.This year, I wasn’t taking any bullshit.This year, I wasn’t taking any prisoners and if someone thought they were ripping anything out of my hands…they were risking their life and sadly mistaken.I had become my own worst nightmare. Then, after all the psychological psyching out and physical conditioning…my baby sitter crapped out on me!WHAT?

So, here I am. I’ve missed out on Black Friday, Cyber Monday holds no real enticement for me, and the month is packed full of responsibilities and appointments.Wonder if my girls would go for just getting a shit load of love under the tree..THAT I can provide.They get that every day.Too bad I can’t wrap up hugs, kisses, cuddles, sleepy smiles, children’s laughter, long lingering hugs,quiet moments, and priceless little voices lifted up in song. That’s all I want for Christmas..and maybe some alone time with my Big Guy. For now, back to my game of chicken between me and Christmas.Who’s going to swerve first..not me!Christmas, you will be my bitch!Well, if you call being my bitch, me shopping online until the wee hours of the night.But what about this jury duty business? Well, I’m not above crying and they would be real tears! What’s your worst Christmas shopping experience?
2010/11/29
Nine Glorious Days
It’s been a glorious nine days but, as all good things, the Big Guy had to return to our regularly scheduled life; him living some place else, me left behind to tend to our life here. When he is gone, all week long, I have become accustomed to it. Neither of us like it, but both of us accept it. It is our status quo.But nine fabulous days ago, on a Friday in November, the Big Guy came home and surprised me with the news that he would be lingering at home with us for nine glorious days. This was certainly ~~good~~ great news.
You don’t feel the full effect of how much you actually miss someone, until you allow yourself to admit it to …yourself. That’s what I did. That’s where I’ve been, soaking in every single, last moment that we were gifted with together these last few days. Seeing my girls happy and smiling in the security of knowing that when they awoke the following day, Daddy would be there to hug and kiss them, to drive Bella to school, to hold Gabi’s hand as they walked back to the car, to look across the table at lunch time and see his robust smile and hear his hearty laugh at the most inappropriate times. That is the good stuff. Those are the moments that we all take for granted. To have my husband there to help put the girls to bed, to cuddle and spoon with on the couch while watching really bad television, to linger in one another’s arms in the morning as the girls happily scurried from room to room singing some made up song to wake us up on a Saturday morning.To be able to cook together, to enjoy one another’s company, to watch him sit with our girls in the dark media room and hold them close as they watch Christmas movies together, to see all three of them bask in the happiness that only daddy/daughter time together can bring.To know that tomorrow would come and he would be able to remain. To be peaceful without the impending doom of departure looming over head is a luxury that we took granted for so long but not now. Now, every single moment together is a gift.
The nine days were amazing for us, to most, they would be considered ordinary. For our family, they were extraordinary. We have not had nine consecutive days together in the same residence since this past February. It has been hard, on all of us. I never realized that just his physical presence makes such a difference to all of us.It brings us comfort, security, and love.He is our touchstone. He is my rock. He is their Daddy, which is the most important person in a little girl’s life.
I never considered before that a husband who works long hours and is only seen for a few minutes in the morning as he kisses you goodbye or a couple hours at night before you go to sleep could have such an impact. In the past, I may have felt like I was doing everything and perhaps sometimes he could have helped me out a little more but at the end of the day, he was there. If I needed someone to run an errand, or I was sick and needed to linger in bed for a few extra minutes, or one of the kids needed wiping, or I needed someone to pick up dinner, take out the trash, listen at the end of the day, a warm body to cuddle up to and recharge from an energy zapping day…he was always there. Before, I may have felt like I did everything but now I actually am, and there is a BIG difference.
Tonight, our nine day dream had to end and, as I sit here typing, we are back to the cold reality that Friday can’t come fast enough. The girls were teary eyed and slightly irrational, as were he and I.We had become so drunk on all the time together that the hangover will surely feel like the end of the world, at least for the next couple of days. If you are lucky enough to have the ones you love with you, give them an extra cuddle and kiss, you never know when that may not be the case. What is the hardest part for you when your Big Guy travels?How do your children react? How do you handle the anxiety that separation brings?
2010/11/29
Is Mommy Who you are or what you do?
In most instances, people are not what they do, but in Motherhood the marriage of the two is as seamless as the Separation of Church and state in Rome. In no other aspect of our lives does one single event of our life forever define who we are to the outside world as does becoming a Mother. It not only instantaneously changes how we view ourselves, how our family and friends view us; it changes the way we are viewed by the entire world. It’s not like being a Republican or Democrat, you can’t hide that you are a Mommy. Besides being recognizable by the obvious changes of Motherhood; your body, the tethering of a small human being to your side for 18+ years, and chronic food/spit/shit/ or urine on your clothing. There are also the not so obvious changes, the slow softening around the edges, the small appendage roaming the world freely (your heart), and the ever present elation filled with sadness and extreme exhaustion readily seen on most, if not all, Mommies faces.
The moment we become a Mother in our minds, whether it be at conception, labor, the moment we hold that newborn, or at that moment they first call out for us, we are changed forever. Never again to be that same woman we were before that moment, at least not entirely. However, where is the line between being their Mommy and the woman independent of the child? We become so consumed with the task at hand (being said Mommy) that we sometimes forget about the woman behind the miracle.
I sometimes look at my girls and I am in awe that I have anything to do with molding such amazing little humans; little lone that I am the sole reason they are on this earth. In those instances, I feel as if I am capable of accomplishing almost anything. I feel as if my potential is limitless. Then I catch a glimpse of myself in my ponytail and yoga pants and I feel like an incredible failure. How can someone who can do so many amazing things for and with her children have such little regard for herself? I am barely recognizable to myself in the mirror. I have become so immersed in their lives, their dreams and goals that I have forgotten about my own. Well, obviously I have not entirely forgotten, since I am referencing and acknowledging the fact that I ever had dreams and goals of my own, but I have certainly pushed myself to the side in many ways.
Like most Mommies, I do this willingly. After all, isn’t Martyrdom #1 in the Mommy manual? Nevertheless, am I really doing them any favors in the end? I have girls, so do I want to be the example that imprints on their tiny brains that being a Mommy= losing yourself and relinquishing all of your hopes and dreams? Obviously, that would be a resounding Hell no! That would be, by far, the greatest disservice that I could ever do to my girls. I think to be a really great Mommy, we have to be willing to let our children see us as humans and as women with interests, hopes, and dreams outside of just being their Mother. I struggle with this daily. Most days, I lose the battle.
Our children are our top priority but shouldn’t we be a priority on our own life, as well? Our children need to see us succeed, fail, survive it all and to pick ourselves up and continue on. If I were practicing as a lawyer or a doctor, I would not let it engulf my entire life. I would still allow myself outside interests, friends, hopes, and dreams. If we don’t do the same with Motherhood, who will we be when our children are grown and don’t need us to be their every thing? How will we define who we are if we have completely forgotten who we were?
2010/12/27
Resolving to Incite a Revolution
Resolving to incite a revolution ~I am way past the point of making resolutions.After all, what the hell is a resolution anyways, nothing more than an empty promise, a flimsy threat at the most.Nope this year, I am declaring war. I’m inciting a revolution.I am resigning myself to a little shock and awe!

*No MORE Cheating! You heard me. I don’t mean that I’m cheating on the Big Guy, never! I mean cheating on diets, cheating myself out of life, cheating myself short on opportunities, cheating my girls out of my complete attention and devotion.

*Embracing Exhaustion! Oh yeah, I am about to make it my mission to exhaust every single iota of potential that these bones have in them. No more sitting on the sidelines letting life happen to me or waiting for things to be done for me, this broad is grabbing life by the balls and making him my bitch. I am going to work this potential so hard, its not going to know which way is up. As the old cheer goes, “Be aggressive..B*EE* EE Agressive!” I’m about to be the change I want to see in my world!

Resolving to incite a revolution
*Organization, Organization, Location! I am a planner, a scheduler, a write it down on paper and DOER! Life seems to have gotten out of control.I don’t mean a little bit off kilter, I mean it has spun right the hell off its axis.Well, NO MORE! Hey, life! Guess what? I AM IN CHARGE..NOT YOU! So, I’m putting pen to paper ( yes, I’m old school like that sometimes) and I’m making a schedule. I’m waking up earlier, getting more sleep, not rushing through life because I’ve planned accordingly, and ( because I am still a bit reckless) I’m even allowing copious amounts of free time for spontaneity.

*Love Hard, Love often! I am making sure that the Big Guy and the girls know how much I love them and how important they are to me. I’m not referring to telling them, speaking the words. I do this already, several times a day. In fact, I’ve told the girls ( constantly) since birth “Guess what? I have a secret.Want to know what it is?” They used to get all excited, their eyes like saucers and ask”Yes, Mommy. What is it?” My answer, I’d bend down and whisper in their tiny ear ,” I Love you more than anything.” Now, they just give me a sheepish smile and say, “What is it Mommy? Tell me!” But more than saying the words, I want to show them with my thoughts and actions.I want to be present in every moment with these family and friends that I have been blessed to be surrounded by in my life. I want them to know in their heart that when I say “I love you” it means..forever, for always, for good, for bad, for ups, for downs, for skinny, for fat, for Always. When they speak, I want them to know I am listening and that what they say matters to me. No more decorum.I am loving on my littles, the Big Guy, my family and friends with an embarrassing amount of exuberance. I want them to feel it to their core…I love them.

Resolving to incite a revolution
*Prioritize, Perspective, and Present The only way to get it all done, in conjunction with my handy schedule, I have to prioritize what’s really important to me and my family. This depends on my perspective. I am choosing to utilize my own perspective ..finally. I am not considering all the outside factors, aside from my girls. I’m also willfully choosing to see life as ALWAYS half full and at my dispense because, in reality, it is. My only limitations have been those I’ve set upon myself. No more! Last but not least, I’m living in the moment. I’m embracing every stinking moment as it happens. I’m not planning for next year, next week, tomorrow…I’m living in the now..RIGHT NOW,with my girls and the Big Guy. I want to enjoy the small things of my life as they happen, not in 20 years in retrospect as a memory. I want to feel the full effect of my life.

*Forgiveness I am forgiving myself for not being perfect. I am not the perfect wife. I am not the perfect Mom. I am not the perfect friend or daughter.I don’t have the perfect body. I don’t have the perfect house. My temper leaves something to be desired. I over extend myself. I expect too much from myself and others. I fall short, in a lot of ways. But that doesn’t mean that my efforts do not have merit. I am hitting reset for everyone I know. I’m passing out forgiveness like kool aid at a Jonestown party. NO more Mommy guilt, no more fatty McFatty guilt, no more I’m not the perfect wife.My house is disheveled. My kids aren’t perfect.No more, I wish I was Bree Van De Kamp bullshit. From this moment forward, I am going to try my best at every endeavor that I choose to undertake with my priority being excelling at being a good example of a the kind of woman I want my daughters to see me as. I will never be perfect, and that is perfectly acceptable, as long as I am living my life as the best me.

*Incite a Revolution I’m initiating a change in my way of life. I am actively taking steps to become the person that I want to be.That woman who lives inside of me and has been too afraid for a long time to take a gamble.The woman who, even though I hate to admit this, I have realized has been so afraid of failure that I have let it stave off success. No More! No more excuses. I’m not afraid of failure anymore.If I fall, I will just pick myself up and try, try again!But today, I am inciting a revolution between the version of myself that I’ve let myself get comfortable with and the woman I know I can be. I’m starting by setting fire to excuses and self doubt and I’m marching forward with self confidence.

What have you resolved to incite revolution about in your New Year? How are you going to go about succeeding? Happiest of New Years! Hang on to your hats ladies, it’s going to be battle of epic proportions but everything worth having in this life is worth fighting for!
The Revolution Starts Today
2011/01/03
Nutrisystem Week 10 update~ When Logic Meets Reality

It’s week 10 and I am down another pound.This pound brings my grand total this far to 15 pounds. I have started a new regime of doing Zumba every morning before I get the girls up for school. It is exhausting and takes a lot of effort on my part but I have to admit, I feel fabulous getting it done first thing in the morning. It gets my day started off on a nice positive note. I know this may sound cheezy but it feels like it somewhat centers me for the day. I’ve only been doing this routine for going on a week and a half but I think it’s going to make a difference going forward. I started by doing 20 minute express Zumba but this week have started doing the 50 minute Zumba party.It flies by. I feel great and can’t wait to see the effects of introducing regular exercise into the routine.
I thought I’d share a little more about some of my favorite Nutrisystem foods this week. This week I am going to tell you about my favorite desserts! My favorite Nutrisystem Select frozen dessert is definitively the Creamy Fudge Bar.It’s thick and creamy and tastes delicious.It’s ice cream…on a diet..but doesn’t taste like diet food.

My favorite shelf stable dessert is, hands down, the fudge brownie. This little dessert is fabulous. I take it, pop it in the microwave for about 13 seconds, cover it with sliced strawberries, and then kiss it will a dollop of cool whip. It is so fantastic, that my kids regularly try to pilferage it off my plate. Sometimes after a rough day, you might want a little piece of heaven to enjoy and what’s better than eating something that taste’s great and is not going to sky rocket your calories and leave you feeling guilty.
Those are my 2 favorite desserts of the week. Next week, I’ll give you the inside scoop on my favorite dinners. You won’t believe what I get to eat. But since I am telling you how great the food tastes, I should also explain the program to you a little. So, here we go.
The Science Behind Nutrisystem
So, what’s the Nutrisystem secret? Simple—they’ve got science on their side. Nutrisystem is based on the proven science of the Glycemic Index, and eating low-GI meals 5 to 6 times a day helps keep your blood sugar and metabolism stable, so your body burns calories more effectively.
Plus, they’ve found a way to make dieting doable by providing consumers with the foods we love-minus the guilt. ( BONUS! Who doesn’t want to eat yummy food that’s good for you?)
Everybody’s favorites like Lasagna, Pizza, and chocolate are given a good-for-you spin with fiber, protein and good carbs to help control cravings and keep you feeling satisfied, then packaged into just the right portion sizes so you never go overboard.
It’s a complete, balanced approach to losing weight and living healthier. It’s such a simple concept, why haven’t I figured this out sooner:) It’s like a light bulb went off and logic and reality walked in the room. I say,”Welcome.Come on in and stay awhile.I’ve been waiting for you, my entire grown up life.”
In addition, the support and the encouragement that I’ve received from the Nutrisystem staff has been amazing! I believe that the hardest thing about a weight loss program is sticking to it. We get caught up in the minutia of our day to day and we lose sight of our goals. We fall off the diet wagon and if no ones around to help us up or cheer us on, it becomes really easy to just say “I’ll do it tomorrow” or “I’ll start on Monday”. I’m here to tell you that tomorrow is today! Nutrisystem is so much more than just a company or a diet program, it’s a family. I’ve made invaluable friendships through the Nutrisystem Nation program and gained support from the staff that have aided me with my weight loss. We are all working towards one common goal; to lose weight, and to finally feel comfortable in our own skins again!We can do this and so can you!
How many of you have made losing weight a New Year resolution? How’s it going? What program are you doing? What exercise are you employing to hit your goals? I’d love to hear from all of you.
Don’t forget Hooray YOU! This is the year you start your NEW YOU Revolution! and become the you that you want to be.
DISCLOSURE: Nutrisystem is providing their program to me free of charge in exchange for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogging Program and weekly updates. I am not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed in this post are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
2011/01/13
Nutrisystem week 11 Update ~Victory is Mine
This week, I stepped on the scale and I was a little disappointed to find that I had not lost anything.Not even 1 pound. We’ve all been here. But it didn’t make sense to me because I’ve been following the plan. I’ve even added a consistent cardio exercise routine to the mix, Zumba. Yes, I have been waking up every morning at 5:30 A.M. to get my Zumba in before the girls wake up. I have to say, it has made a big difference in the way I feel. It really rejuvenates me and wakes me up in the morning. Plus, I can really see a difference in the way my clothes are fitting.Everything I own is getting lose. Luckily for me, a couple weeks back I had decided to measure myself. This morning when no pounds were gone, I decided to measure myself again.Guess what? In two weeks, I’ve lost 3 inches from my chest, 2.5 inches from my waist and 4 inches from my hips! I don’t know about you but I will take it. VICTORY IS MINE! I guess what I am trying to say is, sometimes the scale may not always reflect what you wanted or expected but that’s no reason to stop. If you give up, failure is inevitable.If you power through, victory will be yours.At first it may be small victories like a few inches here or there, or maybe being able to buy a smaller size but eventually those small victories will get you to where you want to be! So, this week we are still at 15 pounds lost but we are down 9.5 inches!Rock on! I’m feeling more and more comfortable in this skin of mine. By BlogHer,I’m planning on being full on Hot Mommy!
Next,as promised, I wanted to share with you my favorite dinners. My favorite shelf stable dinner is the Cheese and Spinach Ravioli with Meat Sauce. It’s so easy, you pop it in the microwave for about 3 minutes. Let it cool for a minute and voila dinner is served. I like to eat it with a big salad.Actually, if you eat the salad before the meal is even better.The meal itself tastes delicious. I top it with a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese. I feel like I am eating at an Italian restaurant, minus the guilt ( bread sticks:)

…….and yes, it does taste as good as it looks!
Now, for my favorite Select Gourmet frozen dinner ( drum roll please) the Turkey Pepperoni Pizza. Of course, if you know me at all, you are not surprised. I am a lover of the pizza. Always have been. I could probably live on pizza alone. In fact, during pregnancy #1 I practically did.It’s all I ever wanted.My body literally craved it. So, when I saw that Nutrisystem had this pizza I was ecstatic. You pop it in the microwave or oven, just like you would any other frozen pizza, let it cool and there you have it…all the taste and none of the guilt. It is fabulous. Again, I like to pair this dinner with a salad and usually a diet Coke.Yummy.
Don’t forget Hooray YOU! This is the year you start your NEW YOU Revolution! and become the you that you want to be.
DISCLOSURE: Nutrisystem is providing their program to me free of charge in exchange for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogging Program and weekly updates. I am not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed in this post are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255</em>
2011/01/19
The Seven Stages of Second Baby Syndrome
I know many of us have picky eaters. My 3 year old would be perfectly happy to exist on nothing more than chicken nuggets for the rest of her life. Most days I fight with her, barter with her, do anything I need to do ( Dance monkey dance) to get her to eat something different..but some days….I don’t. I know. I am horrible. My kid’s going to turn into a giant chicken nugget. But the nuggets, or Nuggies as they are affectionately called in my house, are just a symptom of a much larger problem…Second Baby Syndrome.
Ahhh, I feel a weight has been lifted just by simply saying the words aloud.Many, if not all of you, know exactly this syndrome of which I speak. I’m not proud to admit this but it is the truth. With Bella, everything was perfect. What I mean to say is that I did my best to do everything right! She was always dressed adorably, not a hair out of place, all meals were up to food pyramid standards, just the right amount of sleep to play ratio. I read to her, I sang to her, I engaged her, TV time was limited, classes were taken, play dates were made and minds were expanded.I used to turn my nose up to those Moms that I saw in the grocery store, who looked like they had no mirrors in their house and so obviously should not have been parents..as they were yelling at a 3 year old at the top of their lungs because the poor kid wanted granola bars. Then we were blessed with Gabs.
One child is ONE CHILD but two children feels more like ten! I naively thought that having two would be as easy as one. ( What I meant to say as easy as my one was.)What did I know? Suddenly, my days went from doting, anticipating every need, hitting every milestone in stride and ending the day patting myself on the back for a job well done to feeling like I couldn’t can’t keep up. It all became a blur. A fog filled with love and clamor.Noise.Chaos.More love. It enveloped me.I fell into it willingly.But somewhere along the way, I got lost. I lost sight of all my expectations. I think I evolved (or perhaps devolved ) in my parenting skills, however you want to look at it.Somehow I became , what I now know to be, the exhausted, sleep deprived Mom whose husband travels for work all the time and who has not had a shower or shaved her legs for 3 days. And after a testing morning trying to get her older child off to school, she NOW is standing in the middle of the grocery with her 3 year old tantruming over the exact same granola bars that Mommy had to throw away this morning because said child had spat it out all over the new carpet because…it tasted “bad”. All I know is that it was not humanly possible for me to keep up at the pace I had been doing with one child. There had to be a give and take.
It’s a hard moment in motherhood when one has to accept this fact.It feels like defeat but really what it is IS growing pains.It’s you growing into your role of motherhood. I am certain I experienced the 7 stages of grief when letting go of my expectations of motherhood. First there was shock and denial. What? Both kids won’t nap at the same time?I can handle this.I don’t need sleep! 2nd stage, Pain and guilt. I can’t take this any more.Mommy needs some time to decompress too.Please go to sleep. Oh, no don’t cry. It’s OK. Say awake.I’m such a crappy Mommy trying to force my toddler to go to bed, just so I can have some alone time. I suck! 3rd stage, anger and bargaining. GO TO SLEEP!!! Just be quiet and go to sleep. Please go to sleep! If you go to sleep, I will take you to Chuck E. Cheese tomorrow. 4th stage, depression, reflection and loneliness. Crying because you feel overwhelmed. During this time, you finally realize the magnitude of your loss and it depresses you.You can’t be the parent that you had expected to be..because it’s impossible. You may feel isolated, left to reflect alone on your lost expectations and focus on what you thought things could have been.( Cue the montage of you and your pre baby body running in a field of lilies with your perfectly coiffed matching dressed little girls.) You may sense feelings of emptiness, failure or despair.5th stage, the upward turn. You begin to adjust to your new role with new expectations.Life will become calmer and more organized. What that really means is that your house will be dirtier, the meals will be less food pyramid organic and more chicken nuggets for the finicky pallet of the most distinguished toddler connoisseur. Mommy guilt will begin to lift. Stage 6, reconstruction and working through.As you become more functional, your mind starts working again ( mommy brain may have lifted a bit but, let’s be honest, probably not.It’s a slippery slope from pregnancy brain to Mommy brain to full on forget where you put your vajayjay this morning.. sun downers.I’m just saying). You will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by motherhood. For example, the 5 second rule becomes perfectly acceptable.God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt, may be heard around the house.Summer afternoons in the pool may begin to qualify as bath time. And finally, you will reach stage 7, acceptance and hope.You learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. This in no way means instant happiness. There’s no magic pill for motherhood. Once you give in to the reality that parenting two babies is exponentially harder than one, you can adjust your attitude, your expectations and your technique. You can have hope that one day, you will sleep again.Someday…maybe when they are married and sleeping safely in their bed with their husbands. (Sucker, She’s your problem now!)
And so as I sit here, stuffing more random pieces of paper with notes scribbled on them into Gabs’ baby book, I am reminded of the quote ” Don’t be sad that it’s over, be happy that it happened!”~Seuss Be glad that you cared enough to have the expectations and to impose them on yourself in the first place. Then, go feed that kid some chicken nuggets before they throw a tantrum in the middle of the store:)
2011/02/16
Bella in Wonderland
Every year since Bella has had a birthday party, it’s always been a really big deal. I believe it has something to do with the fact that when I was little I seldom remember having a party.So,when it comes to my girls, we love to celebrate the party in a big way. I mean, who doesn’t love a party? I am fully aware that the Bellapalooza of 2009, when she turned 4, was a bit excessive. I do recall something like 4 parties being had in a one week span of time. There was the family party on her actual birthday, the Fancy Nancy tea and spa experience with her fellow ballerinas, then there was the birthday play date celebration and last but not least the extended family and traveling friends party. It really was Bellapalooza but it was so much fun & Bella has since referred to her birthday week as Bellapalooza.
The cakes made by the Big Guy!
This year, Bella was adamant that she wanted a Alice in Wonderland birthday party.This girl always wants a theme that is “not available” in stores. Of course you can’t find party favors for Alice in Wonderland, so we improvise..as always. But this year, I was determined to keep the party to 1! After 6 years of birthday parties, I’ve come to the realization that the party is about the birthday girl having fun..the rest is not important. So, after much searching and creativity, we found just the right decorations. It was a small party with all the immediate family and a few friends and classmates.
Obviously, Bella dressed as Alice.She dresses in costume for every theme party.
The Wonderland aspect of this party was really the friendship and family. Bella was over the moon that her friends from school and her play date friends were all there to celebrate with her. She was also over the moon because her Grandpa Manny, my Dad, who normally comes and serenades her on her birthday ( this is a long standing tradition in our home. He has serenaded me and my sisters every birthday with Las mananitas (traditional Mexican birthday song) since we were born. Bella was absolutely devastated that he would be out of the country for this birthday party) called from Mexico to play the guitar and serenade her.All was right with the world!
Bella (Alice) & her best friend.By sheer coincidence, he came as the Mad Hatter (her favorite character).*Awwww,swoon*
Party was a huge success and birthday girl was over the moon! The.End!
Wonderland punch!

2011/03/17
Nutrisystem Update~ Week 20
Nutrisystem Update~Week 20 I am happy to report that I am down 2 more pounds. Excuse me while I do the happy dance…again this week! I am convinced that the whole writing every single food that passes my lips is the key for me. The Nutrisystem food is keeping me feeling full and losing weight. Another key component are the snacks. I’ve never been a big snacker. It just seems to be what always derails me on a diet is that I wait for the meal and then I over indulge..usually on carbs.
Thank God the Nutrisystem food allows me carbs. There are so many awesome pastas, pizzas, and snacks i.e brownies,ice cream and chocolate that it really helps with the variety.The spice of life you know:) I have been on the program for 5 months so I am getting a little bored with the same foods.Naturally, I have a few favorite Nutrisystem meals that I get all the time.This probably is the real culprit. But lucky for me the ever evolving Nutrisystem foods and the company as a whole are coming out with new foods all the time. Also, there are a lot of Nutrisystem nutritionist approved recipes that I have not checked out yet and I they look mighty tasty, so I see myself checking them out very soon.
Spring break is right around the corner, but I;m not sure my new bikini body is road worthy yet but it will be soon! How about yours? If you are interested in more information about this great plan please feel free to contact Nutrisytem or call 888-853-4689. What do you have to lose? Aside from a few pounds, that is?
DISCLOSURE: Nutrisystem is providing their program to me free of charge in exchange for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogging Program and weekly updates. I am not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed in this post are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
2011/03/27
In the real world…Life happens
I just finished week 2 of Nutrisystem and I have lost another 1.5 pounds. I will admit I was a little upset that it wasn’t the 3 pounds of last week but then again it was my ‘water retention’ week of the month. Not to mention, I ate dinner away from home twice. It wasn’t like I ate fast food but it also wasn’t my Nutrisytem food so I am sure that had a lot to do with it. But then again this is real life and I want you to know that I am not perfect and life throws us unexpected curve balls. So, what did I do? I took it for what it was and I jumped back on the Nutrisystem plan. That’s the key, you can’t give up and have the mentality that “I messed up on this meal, the whole day’s a wash. So,I’ll eat whatever I want.” It’s so easy to fall into that.I’ve done that many, many times before and look where its landed me..wondering why I gained so much weight, even though if I had just been honest with myself…I would have know exactly where my plan got derailed.
I am still loving the food. Obviously, there are some foods that are better tasting to me than others but of course that is a matter of personal taste.I can tell you that if you eat a piece of Nutrisystem pizza while your family has Papa Johns or Pizza Hut, you will be just as fulfilled. Of course, I wouldn’t recommend, for me anyways, eating the Nutrisystem Orange chicken while your family is eating P.F. Changs…its just not the same when you are looking at their plates.One thing that I have been eating a lot of and really loving is buying those big bag salads and then sauteing some stir fry chicken cut breasts and topping the salad.I’ll have that with a Nutrisystem trail mix bar for lunch some days and it is amazing!
So, here I am week 2 and I am down 4.5 pounds and I am ecstatic because 4.5 pounds down is better than even one ounce up, especially at this time of year! My way of thinking is changing too as my body is changing. I have noticed that I am a lot more aware of what I am putting into my mouth.The mindless eating has ceased. Writing everything down and knowing the correct portion sizes has made a huge difference. Another thing that I have done, which is helpful to me, I have taken a poster board and divided it into four columns 1)Date 2)Actual weight ( when I weigh myself each week) 3) Goal weight (I’ve set a goal of 2 pounds a week, just to keep me focused) 4) Exercise ( I tick how many times a week I exercise). This is just a visual to help keep me accountable and on task. And last but not least, a very valuable lesson that I have learned this week is DRINK YOU WATER!!! It really makes a difference.
I can feel with each passing day, I am getting a little more comfortable in my skin. Thanks for all the support, my friends. I am loving this journey and can’t wait to share with you all when I reach my final destination.
DISCLOSURE: Nutrisystem is providing their program to me free of charge in exchange for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogging Program and weekly updates. I am not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed in this post are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
2010/11/15