The TRUTH About Motherhood

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Today, puberty is hitting at age 7. 8 years olds are wearing cleavage producing bikinis. Padded bras are being made to fit 4 year olds. They are making heels to fit infants. What’s next, pole dancing lessons in utero? Any mommy worth her salt has to search high and low to find clothes that DON’T make her little girl look like a sex worker.It’s hard having little girls. Kids are growing bigger and taller, faster. Many are being born to older parents and the kids themselves are maturing faster than when we were young. I mean I remember still playing with barbies at 12 and NOT having any boobs.Now, girls are having sex by age 12. It’s freaking scary to think of how fast society tries to make our children become adults.
What’s the rush? Why are we pushing them towards adulthood? It’s like training your ass off to compete in an iron man only to find out that the prize is to perpetually compete in iron men. I try to insure that my little girls get to be little girls. I don’t dress them like miniature adults because they are not adults. I don’t let them watch adult movies or listen to inappropriate music. My rule is if I have to explain something that they shouldn’t know, then they are too young to be exposed to it.
I have friends who have had little girls ( ages 4-6) and I hear them say things like, “Yes, my daughter so and so has a boyfriend in her kindergarten class”. They giggle and they smirk and I stand there thinking to myself…ARE.YOU.FUCKING. MENTAL?? Seriously, do they realize how utterly ridiculous they even sound saying these words?I mean to they even realize what they are contributing to? It’s like they are non-verbally telling their little girls, Thank God a boy likes you.You are worth something. WTF is this? 1950’s…CHINA?
I try hard to not make my girls feel like their worth is wrapped up in their sexuality..because it is not.Plus, I’ve come from a mom who has spent our entire life telling my sisters and I , “I just wish you had a husband and some children so I wouldn’t have to worry about you anymore.”( This statement alone could earn a person a throat punch…..if she weren’t my Mother) I mean what does that even mean? Is there some sort of exchange going on?Are we incapable of actually taking care of ourselves ( in her mind)? Are we worthless if not validated by marriage and children?
So,this afternoon when we had a play date at the zoo with my 6 year olds best friend..a little boy, for the first time ever, I felt a little uncomfortable.I’ve never felt uncomfortable with their behavior before. This little boy really is her best friend. They run to each other every morning and hug one another and hold hands in line…just like she does with any of her little girl friends. It’s never bothered me before because, I know the kid.I know his family. There is nothing sexual or devious about it. It’s just two little kids being affectionate.But today, as we walked behind the two of them and they were walking side by side with the occasional hand holding punctuated by about 27 random hugs, it felt excessive. Then when his mom told him to stop “manhandling her so much” ( on about the 26th hug) this was his reply “Mom,She’s my friend. She likes it. I like it. Leave us alone!” I was thrust into the future about 10 years and WTF?
My question is what is too much? Where do you draw the line between differentiating between being affectionate and being sexualized? What’s appropriate? What’s not? Is it reasonable to expect our children to behave as children when society is trying to make them adults at every turn? What are your thoughts?
2011/04/12
Things to Do in Banff with Teenagers and Tweens
If you want to take your children or teens someplace that will leave them speechless, visit Banff, Alberta. If you’re a parent, you already know how rare that can be. Children and teenagers are always in a hurry to get to the next place, the next thing and are easily bored and not afraid to tell you. If you prefer not to be serenaded by choruses of, “Are we there yet?” and “I’m bored” then Banff is for you.
I’m a talker who is easily bored and when I found myself standing at the mouth of Lake Louise, I had no words. I’m a city girl. Grew up in Chicago. Love the city. I feed off of the hustle and bustle of people in a hurry. Kinetic energy gives me life. Standing in the stillness surrounded by all of that natural beauty, embracing the quiet is an inexplicable kind of breathtaking.
READ ALSO: Things to Do In Portland Maine with Kids and Teens
In my opinion, Banff is one of the most stunningly beautiful places on earth. The moment that I set eyes on Moraine Lake, I knew that I needed to share this place with my girls and the Big Guy. It’s a gift I want to give them.
There are certain things in life that have to be seen with your own eyes, felt with your heart and experienced to be believed. Banff is one of those places. You have to stand there and soak it in to believe this kind of beauty exists. I don’t want to oversell it, but then again I don’t think that is possible.
READ ALSO: Best Things to Do in Boston with Your Tweens and Teenagers
Nestled in the Rocky Mountains in the province of Alberta, Canada, Banff has mountains, rivers, valleys and glaciers. If your family loves exploring new places and going on adventures while being 100 %present, this is the perfect family vacation for the teenager or child who can’t sit still.
Things to do in Banff with Teenagers
Moraine Lake
This might be my favorite spot in all of Banff. I may or may not have requested upon returning that my ashes be scattered there one day. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of all of that beautiful? Moraine Lake’s blue waters are surrounded by towering mountains, including 11,500-foot Mount Temple, the third highest peak in the Canadian Rockies. Located a 15-minute drive from the quieter more serene Lake Louise, popular Moraine Lake, can be crowded in summer. My suggestion, arrive early to enjoy canoeing and hiking before the crowds arrive.
Lake Louise
Lake Louise, located within Banff National Park, is absolutely stunning. The emerald green lake is spectacular and the region has a range of hikes from easy lakeside strolls to more difficult ascents. The town of Banff is located 35 miles from the lake, so you will not be immersed in the crowds. The Lake Louise region has a sightseeing gondola and horseback riding.
Lake Minnewanka
Lake Minnewanka, the largest lake in Banff National Park, provides classic Canadian Rockies scenery. As the park’s only lake to allow motorized boating, Minnewanka is popular and crowded. Make reservations and arrive early to take a 1, 2, or 3-hour cruise around the lake. Lake Minnewanka is located a 20-minute drive from the town of Banff.
Banff Hot Springs
After a day of adventure seeking with your teens, what’s more relaxing than winding down in the Hot Springs? A natural hot spring provides an invigorating mixture of minerals to soothe your family’s sore muscles after a day of hiking, skiing or mountain biking. The Hot Springs are open seven days a week and well into the evening.
Banff Hiking
With more than 1,000 miles of trail, Banff National Parks offers path options for every level hiker. For an easy hike, try the Tunnel Mountain trail. Accessible from the town of Banff, the 1.4-mile trail leads to the mountain’s summit, with great views of the Bow Valley. Both Emerald Lake and Lake Louise offer additional easy family hikes with little elevation gain but with gorgeous scenery. In July and August wildflowers lace the Garden Path Trail, at Sunshine Village ski area.
Several outfitters offer guided hikes within the park, including the Mountain Heritage Guide Program at the Chateau Lake Louise.
Ice Climbing Banff’s Frozen Waterfalls
If your teen really wants to explore Banff like an adventurer, using an ice ax to climb a frozen waterfall is about the most exciting way to do that. Get yourself a guide for this excursion this winter and impress your teens with your adventurous spirit. You’d be hard pressed to find a cooler way to explore Banff’s creeks and canyon.
Climb Banff’s Majestic Walls
Banff has more than just fresh powder and raging rivers to offer. Being in the heart of the Canadian Rockies, Banff has numerous cliffs and crags to rock climb. Hire a guide to bring you along on a multi-pitch trek in Bow Valley or the Ghost River area. Whether you are looking for traditional top roping or pushing your limits with sport climbing, your teens will be safe as you explore. Banff boasts some of the best limestone formations that give you the most accessible and remote areas of Alberta to enjoy.
Ski the “Big Three”
Skiing is a year-round possibility in Banff. I was there in August and it snowed. The big three resorts to go to are Sunshine Village, Mount Norquay, and the Lake Louise Ski Resort. These three mountains, give you access to 8,000+ acres, 26 chair lifts, and 30+ feet of annual snow fall. There is something for everyone, whether your teens are first timer skiers/ snowboarders or black diamond ready or simply want to take in the majestic mountains, Banff is an excellent choice.
Banff Trail Rides
Biking Banff will give you the ultimate Canadian choose-your-own adventure with all the scenic views and the opportunity to stop at will and take it all in. The best time for cycling through Banff is May through October for milder temperatures.
Banff Horseback Riding
Trail rides are a fun way to take in the scenery for those who prefer horses to hikes. Horses carry riders 2,000 feet up the mountain to the 7,000-foot-high tea house. After a break, you mount up and head back down. More experienced riders can sign on for longer expeditions that takes you through the forest, up mountain trails, to the banks of a waterfall and then high above the tree line for a panoramic view.
Banff Gondola
An eight-minute, enclosed gondola ride to the top of Sulphur Mountain gifts you with panoramic views. At the summit, stroll the Banff Skywalk or try the more difficult South East Ridge Trail hike depending on your family’s skill level.
Snowshoe through the Rocky Mountains
If you want to take your teens on the ultimate backcountry adventure, snowshoeing might be for you. Depending on how outdoorsy you and your teens are and your skill levels, you can choose a half-day to multiple day excursions. These adventures could include climbing the Continental divide, snowshoeing across frozen lakes or seeing Banff from a mountain peak. Possibilities for thrills is endless.
Rafting the Chinook River
Rafting is something that I’ve always wanted to do and that I think my teens would really enjoy. Banff offers several different rafting routes to choose from. Two of the most thrilling river rides are Horseshoe Canyon and Kicking Horse River. These rides will leave you exhilarated and soaked after a day on the rapids. On Horseshoe Canyon, you even have the option of cliff jumping if the rapids are not too fierce. Some excursions offer a BBQ lunch and professional photos of your family in the rapids!
Canoe or Kayak the Bow River
The Bow River is almost magical, born from snowmelt from the peaks of the Canadian Rockies. It winds through Banff flowing south. You can rent a boat and go exploring alone or hire a local guide.
Columbia Icefields
On this adventure, you and your teens will board giant buses with tires the size of adults that can handle moving through the ice on the Athabasca Glacier. You are left atop a glacier where you can stand on ice created by snow that fell 400 years ago. Holy wow! Your children of all ages will love this. Imagine a snowball fight made of centuries-old snowflakes. The Columbia Icefields cover nearly 200 square miles, the Athabasca Glacier is one of the most easily accessible. Tours take place mid-April to mid-October. Reservations are recommended.
Icefields Parkway
This is where you can really get some quiet time, save for some gasps of OMG! Stretching for about 143 miles between Lake Louise and the town of Jasper, the Icefields Parkway (Highway 93) delivers breathtaking scenery. You’ll pass forests, river valleys, mountains with peaks reaching 10,000 feet and Peyto Lake, the bluest in the Canadian Rockies. This bluer than blue color is a result of fine particles of ground rock scattering the sun’s rays. Bighorn sheep, elk, mountain goats and ravens can often be seen along this drive.
Sunshine Meadows Gondola
Kids, teenagers and adults will love this scenic summer gondola ride up the Rocky Mountains in Canada’s oldest national park, Banff. Begin your adventure by hopping inside an eight-person gondola at the base of Sunshine Village and enjoy a 20-minute scenic mountain ride. At the top, you will arrive at Sunshine Village.
A short walk from the gondola, visitors can hop on a four-person chairlift to reach the top of the mountain. This brings you to the magnificent viewpoint at the top of the mountain. There is a short, gravel walking trail to reach an elevated viewpoint. As you walk along the trail, you will enter the Canadian Provence of British Columbia and then cross back over into Alberta. The kids will think that’s cool.
Take your time and enjoy the breathtaking mountain and lake views from the summit and take tons of photos. Though I literally took thousands and it still wasn’t enough. Photos cannot accurately capture the magic that is Banff. These views have to be seen to be believed. Several hiking trails begin at the top of the mountain and head back to the village or you can take the chairlift and gondola back down the mountain. It’s up to you.
These are just a few of the things that you can do with tweens and teenagers in Banff. The possibilities are endless. The adventure begins with you and the feeling of experiencing it all together as a family will last a lifetime.
What’s your favorite place to travel as a family and why?
2019/04/09
IT Chapter Two Review No-Spoiler
We’ve waited for 2 years for IT Chapter Two the movie. Stephen King’s IT has always had a special place in my heart. IT was one of the first horror novels that I read as a young adult, back when I was my daughter’s age. It was also one of the first horror movies that I watched and from there, my love for horror movies grew. Anyone who knows me knows that horror is, by far, my favorite genre.
IT Chapter 1 was the first horror movie that I was able to watch with both of my daughters. I watched as they were enthralled and fell in love with the horror genre as much as I am. This was a new phase in motherhood. Finally, I could share my love of fall, Halloween and horror movies with my daughters. I imagined long weekends cuddled up on the sectional together being scared and excitedly dissecting plots and antagonists.
READ ALSO: Best Horror Movies to Watch with your Teens
Today, we went and saw our first supernatural horror film together as a family. Talk about going big or going home. IT Chapter 2 has a run-time of 167 minutes and an all-star cast. The film is directed by Andy Muschietti and written by Gary Dauberman. Set in 2016, 27 years after the events depicted in the first film, it stars Jessica Chastain, James McAvoy, Bill Hader, Isaiah Mustafa, Jay Ryan, James Ransone, and Andy Bean as the adult versions of the Losers’ Club. Jaeden Martell, Sophia Lillis, Finn Wolfhard, Chosen Jacobs, Jeremy Ray Taylor, Jack Dylan Grazer, and Wyatt Oleff reprise their roles as the younger Losers, while Bill Skarsgård also returns as Pennywise the Dancing Clown.
IT Chapter Two brings the Losers Club back in full force.
Defeated by members of the Losers’ Club, the evil clown Pennywise returns 27 years later to terrorize the town of Derry, Maine, once again. Now, adults, childhood friends have long since gone their separate ways. But when people start disappearing, Mike Hanlon calls the others home for one final stand. Damaged by scars from the past, the united Losers must conquer their deepest fears to destroy the shape-shifting Pennywise — now more powerful than ever.
READ ALSO: Parents Guide to Teen Slang
IT Chapter Two had some stellar acting (particularly Hader and Skarsgård) especially the kids. The themes and faithfulness to the novel were definitely on point. Though the runtime seemed excessive and I would not consider it a horror film. It was a great film to see with my tween and teen in the theater. No one ended up in my bed that night with nightmares but if you are looking for a fright, IT Chapter two is going to leave you wanting.
Don’t get me wrong. IT is very entertaining and, in my opinion, a much better version of the original film. However, aside from a couple of jump scares from Skarsgård’s character, Pennywise, I wasn’t scared at all. But if you pay attention, it is a thriller/mystery and not listed as a horror film. If you go into it knowing that, you will enjoy the film a lot more.
IT Chapter Two is ambitious and thought-provoking.
It is an intellectual thriller. It tackles some deeper themes like childhood trauma, loss of innocence and memory loss. In the last film, the Losers club (stuttering leader Bill (Jaeden Martell), wisecracking Richie (Finn Wolfhard), hypochondriac Eddie (Jack Dylan Grazer), rebellious Beverly (Sophia Lillis), history buff Mike (Chosen Jacobs), intellectual Stanley (Wyatt Oleff) and gentle-hearted new kid Ben (Jeremy Ray Taylor) ) defeated child-murdering Pennywise and took a blood oath to return to Derry, Maine, if he ever came back.
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Set in 2016, 27 years after the original film takes place, everyone has grown up and moved away all but forgotten about what happened to them as children in Derry and the horrors that the suffered at the hand of Pennywise the clown. Bill (James McAvoy) is a successful horror writer, Stan (Andy Bean) an accountant, Richie (Bill Hader) a popular stand-up comedian. Only Mike (Isaiah Mustafa) stayed in town, and he alone remembers everything that happened when they were kids.
READ ALSO: Why You Should Binge Stranger Things
Derry kids start going missing again and creepy messages like “Come home” appear. Mike calls the Losers home to stay true to their blood oath. The reunion at the Chinese restaurant is one of the movie’s best scenes, as they quickly fall back into their old friendships.
The group must discover the origins of the dark force cursing Derry. Each one has to do his or her part to find their token that will lead to the final face-off with Pennywise.
Pennywise sparingly makes appearances in the movie. Skarsgard makes each moment count. His Pennywise is sinister yet comical with a heavy tinge of human. But there’s a lot of real monsters in this world from a hate crime early on to instances of domestic abuse. Thankfully, Hader’s Richie adds some levity to this film noir.
IT Chapter Two is Not What You Expected
In the end, IT Chapter Two is a film about friendship and love. Faith in your friends and sticking up for one another, having each other’s backs and standing up for what’s right is what matters most whether you’re a kid or an adult. We all need those people who know us and love us even when life makes us our most unlovable.
As a thriller and mystery, I’d give It Chapter Two a 4.5 out of 5 stars and it’s the perfect scary-ish film to see with your teen if they are able to handle some of the mature themes like domestic abuse, gay-bashing and inferred sexual abuse. My girls already know about these things and know the real world is scarier than any horror movie. If your kid likes shows like Stranger Things and isn’t terrified of clowns, they should be fine to watch IT Chapter Two.
Will you be seeing IT Chapter Two? If you’ve already seen IT what are your thoughts?
2019/09/06
Important Mental Health Health Advice for Parents
Awareness of mental health issues is on the rise and it’s becoming clear that a lot of young people suffer from conditions like anxiety and depression. That’s why it’s so important that parents educate themselves about the symptoms of mental health issues and the treatments available for depression. If you can pick up on the signs early on and help your child to find the support that they need, you can deal with the problem before it gets a lot worse.
But parents don’t just need to think about their children, they need to think about themselves as well. Becoming a parent is an incredibly stressful time and a lot of new parents struggle with postnatal depression. The stress of raising a family also means that a lot of parents are working too hard and neglecting self-care. If you don’t look after yourself, you increase your risk of mental health issues and that makes it harder for you to be an effective parent. If you have been neglecting your own mental health, these are some of the most important ways that you can look after it.
Don’t Downplay Your Symptoms
It’s so easy for people to downplay their symptoms because they buy into a lot of the damaging language about mental health. Mental health issues are often marginalized and people talk of how depressed they are when they just mean that they had a stressful day, or they claim to have OCD because they are neat and tidy people. There are also people out there that will tell you to just get over it and suck it up. Life is hard, they’ll say, that’s just the way it is. The problem with this kind of language is that it assumes that a diagnosed mental health issue is no different to the normal ups and downs that we all have, which isn’t the case at all. It’s fine if you feel stressed and a bit down every so often, but it’s not fine if you feel like that constantly and you never have the energy to do anything. If you notice the symptoms of a mental health issue, don’t downplay them and don’t let others convince you that things are fine when they aren’t. Always seek professional advice if you are not sure. You can also take CBD oil in the form of edibles like Kushie Bites to reduce feelings of anxiety and depression.
Take Days Off
Being a parent is a full-time job and you need to take some days off from time to time. But a lot of new parents think that asking for help means admitting defeat, and they worry that people will judge them and think that they can’t handle being a parent. But that isn’t the case at all, and it’s perfectly reasonable to take some time off for yourself. More importantly, you are setting the example for your kids and this will determine how they handle their mental health care when they get older.
When you do get a day to yourself, you should spend it doing something relaxing like a spa day or engaging in one of your hobbies. You can use the time to catch up on chores if you like, but remember that you’re supposed to be having a day off, and that still works. Asking a family member or friend to watch the kids for a day every now and again will make such a huge difference to your mental health.
Get Outside
New parents often end up spending a lot of time inside and they rarely have a chance to get out of the house. But that isn’t good for a few reasons. It can be very isolating and being stuck in the same environment all the time isn’t great for your mental health. It’s not great for your child either because they need to start experiencing the outdoors. Studies show that spending time outside can improve your mental and physical health, so it’s important that you don’t stay shut up indoors all the time. Even a short walk each day will make a big difference.
Eat Properly
When your kids get older and you all start eating meals together, it’s easy to keep up with healthy eating. But new parents find that they spend so much time looking after their children that they don’t have time to prepare proper meals for themselves, and that’s not good. If you are eating a lot of unhealthy convenience foods, you lack a lot of important nutrition and you will struggle to find the energy to do things. A bad diet is always bad for your mental health, so it’s important that you eat fresh, healthy food.
As a new parent, it’s important that you follow these simple tips so you can manage your own mental health effectively.
2019/11/27
Ways to Work Out When You Don’t Have Time to Hit the Gym
Recently, right before my Disney vacation last week, I hit my 200^th day of working out. To celebrate, obviously, I went to Disney World. That’s what athletes do to celebrate, right? Unfortunately for me, I had the best vacation ever and ate all the food on the free dining plan and came home, 7 pounds heavier, despite walking 20000 steps every single day. I know most of it is water weight from the change in diet but still, I need to figure out ways to work out when I don’t have time to hit the gym.
Old Debi would be freaking the freak out right about now. New Debi, well, I may or may not be eating my smuggled Biscoff cookies from my flight this past weekend with a hot chai tea. The thing that I’ve learned on this weight loss/ get healthy journey is that it is a journey, not a race. Being 50 pounds lighter than I was at this time last year is a huge accomplishment and I am not going to let vacationing in the real world, derail 6 months of hard work and exercise. I’m going to get over it and learn from it.
READ ALSO: How a Simple Trip to the Doctor Could Have Saved my Life
Hey, I enjoyed my vacation. I was mindful of my carbs (because I’m diabetic and I have to be) but I still ate and drank around the world. I had cocktails with meals and dessert. I don’t feel guilty about it. Guilt is a useless emotion. I feel human about it. I enjoyed the food and the drinks and now, I’ll just get right back to it. The thing is when you are out of your routine, sometimes it is hard to find the time and place to exercise and that’s why this post is so important to me because I feel like this is a universal problem for most people.
In honor of my 200^th workout, I’m going to give you some pointers for ways to work out when you don’t have time to hit the gym.
A crucial part of the journey is the scenery, enjoying life on the way. I’ll be honest, working out can be boring. It can be painful and it’s hard to maintain enthusiasm when you are a grown-ass person trying to work, take care of kids, keep a house clean, a dog alive and a marriage functioning.
Sometimes you need to flip the script and do something else. Exercise comes in all shapes, sizes and in the most unexpected places so don’t give up. Set your apple watch to “other” and do you, boo! You’ll be surprised how many calories you burn and steps you take doing “other.”
Ways to Work Out When You Don’t Have Time to Hit the Gym
Walk around the neighborhood
I know this one sounds almost too simple. My mom suggested Low impact cardio exercises to me when I first found out that I had diabetes. Obviously, because I am still a teen when it comes to my mom, I poo pooed her. Like I legit, was like yeah right mom. 50 pounds later, I am woman enough to admit, my mom was right. There I said it. And for as simple (almost childish as it sounds), it is my favorite part of the day. Every morning, I get outside and get some fresh air and see the beauty in the world. It also gives me time to clear my mind and get in tune with my body. It also reminds me every day just how much I love my mama.
BBG or any home video or YouTube workout
I’ve worked out at home for years. When I was in middle school, my bestie’s mom introduced her to Jane Fonda step aerobics and we were fans. Since then, I’ve done lots of home workouts from Zumba to Tae Bo and Turbo Jam. More recently, I’ve been addicted to Beach Body’s CIZE and BBG and there are a plethora of workouts on Youtube. My point is that it’s not so much how you choose to move your body as it is that you choose to move your body.
Window shop with your teen
Remember when I was telling you about the walking around my neighborhood trails and how well that works? Well, walking around the mall with your teen, window shopping burns just as many calories and on top of that, you get bonding time with your teen. Don’t overthink it. And believe me, it is much easier to get your teenager to accompany you to the mall than it is to get up early on a weekend morning to take a nature hike with you. Hell could freeze over waiting for that to be enjoyable.
Play at the park with your preschooler
Have I told you guys that in my day job, I am the pied piper of preschoolers? I am and it has reminded me that it takes a lot of energy to keep little kids entertained. There is a surprising amount of running, jumping, chasing, carrying and picking up that I had forgotten about. If you think I’m not being serious, in about 4 hours at work, I burn about 1500 calories playing with preschoolers and if you’re carrying babies around, just think of how buff your arms will be. Not joking at all. Playing with kids especially at the park where you will most certainly be running, jumping, swinging and air planing and carrying them on your shoulders will burn loads of calories. To get proper gear to exercise at home, you should visit the Altitude Sports online store.
Beach walk with your partner
Now, you probably won’t burn a zillion calories walking after dinner on the beach with your partner in the moonlight. But you will burn some and some is better than none. But if there is some playful flirty chasing or maybe a pit stop for love under the moonlight, all of that burns more calories than just sitting on the couch, falling asleep watching tv. Bonus, you get alone time with your special someone under the moonlight and they get to burn some calories too.
These are just a few ways to get exercise when you can’t get to the gym. Also, FYI, walking around Disney in the hot sun all day having the best day ever with your whole family burns about 3000 calories a day. Just one more reason that Walt Disney World is my favorite place ever. Of course, I went way over my calories while there too (vacation cocktails) so it all balanced out in the end.
The past few months have been life-altering for me. I was diagnosed with diabetes and, in that moment, my life seriously flashed before my eyes and I knew I wasn’t done. I was faced with the question, do I change my entire life and live or do I continue on the path I’m on and die? It sounds simple enough but it was anything but.
READ MORE: How I Cured Myself of Type 2 Diabetes in 3 months
I knew I had to change but it has been hard. I took a solid week to mourn my old life; my old ways. It’s not easy. No more autopilot. I had to put on my big girl panties (and they were getting pretty big) and take responsibility for my actions. It is a choice every single day to keep going, even when I hit plateaus and I’m not getting where I want to be as fast as I hoped. I have to accept that this is s journey not a destination.
What’s your favorite way to work out when you don’t have time to hit the gym?
2019/12/04
Strategies to Help you Manage your Stress Better and Worry Less
Life has been stressful lately. More than stressful, life has been downright trying. The pandemic has us all in a holding pattern. I’m constantly afraid that if I move too fast or in the wrong direction, I’ll tip the balance and everything will come crashing down around me. This can’t be how I live my life now. I won’t do it. I’m trying to let myself learn how to work on the things I can fix, let the things I can’t fix go and turn the rest over to a higher power because holding on is not working. I’m looking into learning strategies to help you manage your stress better and worry less.
If, like me, you want to help yourself manage stress better you’ll need to start by knowing what the signs of stress are for you. We all have triggers. Sometimes when you’re in a high-stress situation, maybe your blood pressure rises or your heart starts racing. This can make you feel dizzy and knock you off balance mentally and emotionally. If you want to help yourself get through these incidents, then you need to pay attention to when these feelings get to be too much, because this is your body’s way of sounding the silent alarm.
Here are strategies to help you manage your stress better and worry less:
Identify the Stressful Times of Day
The first thing that you need to do is identify the times you are most stressed during the day. What pushes your buttons? If you are most stressed in the morning because you are trying so hard to get your kids off to school, then it may be worth trying to simplify your routine as much as possible by preparing the night before. When you do this, you will soon find that you can easily reduce the pressure you are under.
Take a Break
It’s very important that you take a break from time to time so you can decompress. Sometimes you need to do this, and that’s okay. You should never feel like a guilty mother just because you need to go somewhere or do something for a little while. As long as your kids are safe, you have nothing to worry about.
Workout
Working out is something that you can do as a family. If you want to help yourself then make the effort to try and get the family involved. It may be that your family like getting out of the house, and if you do this, then you will soon find that everyone can have the best time without you having to get stressed out. Swimming, jogging, biking or even walking are all fantastic exercises and they will also help you to keep in shape too.
Find a Good Support Group
You also need to make sure that you have a very good support group around you. This could be other people who are your age, or mothers that are in the same situation as you. Either way, you need to make sure that you have someone who you are able to chat with so you can make sure that you are getting the help you need.
Take Time to Laugh
Take time to laugh. Think about it, when was the last time you had a good laugh with your kids? Use humor if you can, so you can diffuse stressful situations where possible. Studies have shown that people tend to hold tension in their faces, and a good laugh can help you to release this. It can also help you to forget about all of the things that you were stressed about before. Little things like this can make you feel much better about yourself.
What are your best strategies to help you manage your stress better and worry less?
2020/09/03
5 Practical Ways To Keep Your Teenager Out Of Trouble
Everyone wants to make sure their child is safe, but that doesn’t always mean making sure they don’t get hurt or sick. Sometimes, you’ll need to save them from themselves. Teenagers are particularly susceptible to engaging in risky behaviors that could be harmful thanks to pushing boundaries and gaining independence. It’s just the way it is but that doesn’t mean that you have to sit back and watch it happen. Sure, there are some lessons that teenagers need to learn all on their own but there are ways to give them space and still minimize the collateral damage they might do to themselves.
You wouldn’t want them hurting themselves or getting arrested for a class 2 misdemeanor, for example. You’ll need to know how to keep your teenager out of trouble while still giving them room to figure things out themselves. It doesn’t have to be as complicated and you don’t have to revert back to your helicopter days of their toddlerhood. It’s going to include a whole lot of trusting your own parenting, putting a little trust and faith in the good humans you’ve been raising and, unfortunately, a little bit of letting go.
By following five practical strategies, you can help minimize your worry and maximize their safety.
How to Keep Your Teenager Out of Trouble
1. Create A Safe Environment
If your teenager has a safe environment at home, they’ll be less likely to get into trouble. You should make sure they feel as comfortable as possible at home, especially when it comes to anything they could be doing. The more comfortable they are talking to you about things, the more you’ll know about them.
They’ll be more likely to tell you the truth, no matter how embarrassing it could be. You can create this safe environment in multiple ways, such as:
- Showing respect
- Using natural language
- Showing your teenager you care
The safer the environment is, the more comfortable your teenager will be to talk to you about what’s happening in their life. You can keep them out of trouble much better because of it.
2. Make Sure They’re Supervised
Supervision can be one of the more practical ways to keep your teen out of trouble. You can be there to make sure they don’t do anything they shouldn’t. While that doesn’t mean being with them constantly, there are ways you can supervise them without being overbearing. Don’t go overboard and make them feel like you don’t trust them. Just use common sense, not every teenager is going to choose to go wild and remember, your teen is innocent until proven guilty so don’t make them feel like a criminal without proof.
Letting them spend time with their friends in your living room can be a great way to do this. It gives you the ability to avoid any potential trouble while ensuring they make the decisions they should make. It’ll also give you more peace of mind while you’re at it. My house has always been where the kids hang out and I’ll host everything just so I can get to know who my kids are spending their time with, know what they’re doing and who they’re doing it with. I trust my girls and I also know that I won’t always be there so I’d prefer them to learn to make good choices on their own while I’m nearby to answer any questions or lend support than to shelter them and as soon as they leave my house they have no clue how to take care of themselves. This is all a part of growing up, just like making mistakes is a part of learning.
3. Get Professional Support
One of the most effective ways to keep your teenager out of trouble is to get professional support. You mightn’t be able to spot the signs or symptoms of whatever trouble they’re in, and you mightn’t be able to help them. That’s especially true when it comes to mental health. You should seek professional support for this if you notice:
- Dramatic changes in personality
- Continually talking about shame or embarrassment
- Unexplained cuts and bruises
- Explosive outbursts
- A recent loss
By getting them the help they could need, you can make sure you avoid any possible trouble and its consequences.
4. Use Effective Monitoring Practices
You can’t stay with your teenager all the time to supervise them, but that doesn’t mean you can’t stay in touch with them. A lot of research shows that teenagers who are being monitored by their parents are less likely to engage in bad behavior. They’re also less likely to make poor decisions.
It’s worth using some monitoring strategies to make sure you can achieve this. There are more than a few ways you can do this, including:
- Having them call you every hour
- Check how they’re spending money
- Getting the numbers of their close friends
Using a few of these strategies can be one of the more effective ways to keep your teenager out of trouble.
5. Get To Know Them
The parent-child relationship changes after kids reach their teenage years. Their interests will change and they’ll continue to grow in multiple ways. They could turn into a completely new person compared to what they were like in their younger ways. You should make sure you get to know the new them.
They’ll still be figuring themselves out, and that could be a difficult process. By putting the effort into getting to know them, you help them figure themselves out. It can avoid them lashing out and can make the process much easier for them while also bringing you closer together.
How To Keep Your Teenager Out Of Trouble
If you don’t know how to keep your teenager out of trouble, you could end up worrying about them a lot. Injuries, trouble with the law, and similar concerns can all prove anxiety-inducing. You’ll naturally want to avoid that, but it doesn’t need to be as complicated as you’d think.
A few practical tips can make this much easier. Making sure they’re supervised, creating a safe environment, and getting professional support – among other options – can all help with this. There’s no reason not to do it.
2022/12/12
Spring Break MIY: Make It Yourself at Chicago Museum of Science and Industry
Our Spring Break started on Friday and since we just returned from Walt Disney World and our Disney Dream Cruise, we wanted to head to one of our favorite cities close to home, Chicago and visit the Museum of Science and Industry to experience the Make Festival and the Make Shop. I love sharing my childhood favorites like the Museum of Science and Industry (MSI) with my girls. Chicago’s my hometown and I love nothing more than sharing it with my girls.
Chicago is one of our favorite Spring Break destinations because it’s a quick drive away, we get to visit with my parents and sisters and you will never run out of things to do. In fact, last year we spent the entire week drinking in all the sights and sounds of the Chicago.
Disclosure: We were hosted by the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago but all opinions and experiences of the Spring Make Festival and the Make Shop are my own.
We were extra excited to head to the city and MSI this year because they are hosting their first ever Spring Make Festival. What is the Spring Make Festival, you ask? It’s four weeks of MSI hosting a special program for expressing your creativity, including hands-on activities like a high-tech maker workshop (the Make Shop), evening events dedicated to brewing and collective digital art and a marathon Mini Maker Faire. There is something for everyone of all ages but I was most excited about my girls getting some hands-on time with technology.
I remember when I first got to Purdue, everyone I knew was studying to be an engineer and I had no idea what an engineer was or did. I heard “engineer” and my mind automatically went to a train engineer. I don’t want my girls’ to go through life not knowing all the amazing places science and math can take them. I want them to embrace all things STEM.
I’ve come a long way from the girl who was white-knuckling her word processor. I did not go gently into the Internet era but now, I don’t know what I’d do without it. I literally make my living on the Internet. I am one of the biggest tech geeks you could ever hope to meet and I want that for my girls. Let’s just skip the whole white knuckling part.
What is Chicago Museum of Science and Industry Spring Make Festival?
The first ever Spring Make Festival, which runs March 9 through April 8, offers a robust combination of daily activities and special events designed to help guests see themselves as designers, makers, and tinkerers including the MSI Chicago Mini
Maker Faire; a facilitated workshop offering LED circuitry building, 3D printing, and vinyl cutting; Hebocon, a renowned “crappy” robot competition, adults-only events and new hands-on challenges. Hands-on high tech 101 and the facilitators make it all seem so easy and attainable. My girls never felt overwhelmed with any of the concepts.
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Simply put, the Spring Make Festival is a vacation from all the things you have to do and an opportunity to create your heart’s desire using today’s most technologically advanced methods. You are truly only limited by your imagination. It’s the place where your innate creativity meets high tech and anything is possible. It’s teaching our children that they can rule the world with their minds.
Spring Make Festival is a celebration of high and low-tech ways that people, especially kids, can tap into their creative potential and see firsthand that there are multiple paths to a STEM-focused career. The Spring Make Festival introduces children to the wonders of modern technology in a way that invites participation and does not overwhelm.
The Make Shop takes that process one step further with a more intimate setting and a docent to explain the entire process as you experience it.
My girls are 10 and 13-years-old and they loved the Make Shop. The Make Shop is a place where you and your children can try out the technology literally reshaping the worlds of design and production. My girls were in STEM heaven. Kids today are so tech savvy that they have high expectations from their experiences and my girls were not disappointed.
The Make Shop introduces you to the kinds of technology that you’ve been hearing a lot about: 3D printing and building, vinyl cutting and LED circuit building. This new facilitated experience allows you the chance to try out some of these cutting-edge fabrication tools in an approachable, beginner-friendly environment. What’s more, you get to bring home the proof you did- a custom craftwork; a constant reminder of the inner designer, maker and tinkerer in all of us. A reminder that there isn’t anything that we can’t do if we set our minds and hearts to it.
We are all makers. It is intrinsically human to create, tinker, innovate and express ourselves through made objects. As you create, you will learn about problem-solving skills, the diverse community of local Chicago makers and how making can have a positive impact on communities. By exchanging ideas, we push one another forward to invent and build new and innovative things.
As a tech aficionado, I felt like I was at a tiny CES. I’ve railed on and on about the wonders of 3D printing and now my girls saw it up close and firsthand. My 10-year-old rattled off about a million things she wants to create and invent on a 3D printer. She’s already put it at the top of her Christmas list for next year. I just loved seeing their eyes light up when they accomplished these feats of technological wonder.
The Make Shop takes technology that seems like far off ideas to most people and breaks it down into digestible parts. It takes it from overwhelming and unachievable to hands on. It removes the doubt and replaces it with, you did it!
In the Make Shop, you have access to new tools and that is empowering. It inspires you to creatively problem-solve and invent. We shape our world with the ideas we share and the things we make.
Select experiences and events require an additional ticket purchase. A full schedule with pricing along with additional information is available online at msichicago.org/springmake
2018/04/02
Liar Liar Pants on Fire
Tonight, right before bed, Bella wanted a cookie. I, obviously, said no. You know, in the name of teaching her healthy eating habits, keeping her sugar intake down (especially before bed), keeping her teeth from rotting out of her head and a plethora of other reasons. You know the usual reasons we don’t give our littles sugar before bed. Common sense and we don’t want them awake all night bouncing off the walls. Then “it” happened.
Bella (very sheepishly) : Mommy, I want to tell you something but Grandma told me not to tell you. WTF? OFMG, I am bracing myself for God knows what. I just knew my daughter was going to let some deep dark family secret out of the bag. Give me the real low down on how they REALLY feel about me. I won’t lie, I winced a little.
Me: Yes, Bella. You KNOW you NEVER keep secrets from Mommy.NEVER! You tell me EVERYTHING.I don’t care who tells you to keep a secret.You TELL MOMMY THE TRUTH. What did Grandma tell you NOT to tell me? At this point, aside from wondering what the hell the secret was going to be, I am quite annoyed that someone would tell my daughter to keep a secret from me. I loathe liars, with a passion.This is not a secret. Bella knows this. My husband knows this. I don’t lie. I don’t like being lied to. No matter how small the lie is, it undermines trust and that ,my friends, is NO BUENO!
Bella: Well, Mommy, Grandma gave us peanut butter Oreo cookies and candy and a bunch of sugar before bedtime when she watched us the other night. Hmmm, is she referring to the night that the lovely and delicious Grandma babysat so that the Big Guy and I could go out for a supercalifragilistic date night? That night? The night that SHE was responsible for getting them to bed and to sleep? Really, this offense is not punishable by death. Isn’t that pretty much what Grandma’s do? Ply kids with sugary treats , surprise goodies and obscene amounts of hugs and cuddles?I actually expect this behavior. I mean as far as Grandma’s and MILs go, mine is pretty freaking AWESOME.WE love her big time around here.

But I am perplexed. I can let sugary indiscretions slide but encouraging or condoning keeping things from me, well, that’s just not acceptable. I can NOT tolerate someone teaching my children that it is alright in any way, shape or form to lie to me..their MOTHER. It wasn’t even worth lying about but the whole idea of asking my kids to keep anything from me, sends the wrong message. I am really trying to teach my girls to NOT lie and to have open honest dialog with their father and I.I am trying to teach them that their word is important and if they say something they must abide by their words.Promises must be kept. The truth must be spoken.
Me: Bella, I am very proud of you for telling me the truth. You can always tell me the truth. YOU won’t get in trouble for telling me the truth. But if I ever find out that you are lying to me again, I will be very disappointed in you and you will have to be disciplined. And if anyone ever tells you to keep a secret from me again, you come straight to me and tell me! OK?
Bella (looking a little worried and slightly relieved): See Mom, aren’t you glad that I gave up lying for Lent? I guess I was a good example with my Lenten caffeine sacrifice! I had to giggle a little.

I assured her that she did the right thing by ratting out Grandma. Grandma, if you’re reading this post, no more telling the girls to keep anything from me in the future.We’re all good, just remember that and I don’t care if you give the kids sugar, I expect that.
What would you do if you found out Grandma,or anyone, told your kid to keep secrets from you? Does it matter what the lie is?Is there such a thing as a little lie to be kept from a mother? I’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject.
2011/03/22
How Rock Band Karaoke and Pomtini’s Saved One Mom’s Sanity
Things have been hectic, to say the least, around here the last few months. There was a time \, not so long ago, when I was positive that I would lose my mind at any moment. The girls realized that they outnumbered me during the week and they decided that was the time to strike.
Devious little boogers they are, it seemed as though they were plotting and conniving to make my life a living hell while their father was away. I was certain that they were striving to make me go mad. They almost succeeded. Oh yeah, they almost broke me. You know that feeling you get when the day is just too long, the kids haven’t listened at all, the laundry is piled to the ceiling, toys have exploded all over the living room, and the children have definitely been possessed by a demon of some sort? Yeah, that’s the kind of few months I was having.
READ ALSO: How to survive a commuter marriage with a part-time parent
Then one night, after a string of hectic days culminating with Bella’s 5th birthday, my husband suggested that I come downstairs and play Rock band with him, my brother, my sister and her fiance. It was a very typical family gathering of our bunch. I have always loved to sing but not exactly thrilled about singing into a microphone in front of people. I wasn’t sure Rock band was my thing. Isn’t that more for prepubescent teen rock band wannabes and frat boys? But it was amongst family, they were drinking, my husband made me a Pomtini (the girls had finally went to bed) and……a star was born.
I sang the hell outta “Take another little piece of my heart”, “We got the Beat”. “Linger”, even a little “Painkiller”! I was in a zone and having the time of my life. I was in my basement, drinking Pomtinis with my favorite people in the world and singing like no one was watching! It was liberating, it was soothing, and it allowed me a place to channel all of that frustration and aggravation I had been trying to contain. You know the days when you feel like you are trapped in Munch’s The Scream?
This is how How Rock Band Karaoke and Pomtini’s Saved One Mom’s Sanity
The next morning, I woke up and I felt calmer ( almost creepy calm) and I was able to function on a much higher level as an adult. Isn’t that ironic? I was actually able to step back from the situations of chaos; the exploding toy boxes, the toddler catfights (Meow!Kitties have claws), the dog pissing on the floor because I was up til 2 am posting after the kids went to sleep and wasn’t up at the crack of dawn to let the bitch out, and more. Rock band allowed me the time to have perspective and to be alone in my head for a few minutes. Serenity now!
READ ALSO: Finally, a normal marriage where no one leaves
Now, when I feel the craziness getting to be too much…I grab the girls, head downstairs and we Rock out to Rock Band. I sing as many songs as it takes to get the frustration out and the calmness back ( hey it sounds prettier than screaming at the kids and it serves the same purpose).
Our sessions have lasted anywhere from 15 minutes to 2 hours. The girls pretend they are my backup singers and dress up in their princess costumes and dance around, so we are spending quality time together versus me screaming and flying off the deep end. I’d rather have them fondly recollect memories of their goofy Mommy singing Margaritaville instead of their mean Mommy throwing the toys from the floor into the garbage, or burning the laundry because she got sick of looking at it.No, now (on most days) I have been able to back up and say, as my child screams bloody murder because her panties socks a knat an ant her sister is irritating her, “I understand you are frustrated but it will all be OK. Take a breath and calm down. Let mommy give you a hug!” Opposed to, ” Oh my Freaking God, they are just panties, socks, a knat, and ant, your sister! What is wrong with you?”
Who knew that something I normally would have shunned and turned my nose up at would end up being the very thing that quite literally may have saved my sanity, my relationship with my girls, and my credentials as their Mommy. The Pomtinis didn’t hurt either!
If you need a release and going bald from stress, going gray from stress, getting wrinkles, beating your children, are not avenues that you’d like to explore then I’m suggesting a little stress relief by banging some drums, jamming to some fake guitar, singing your heart out, or just dancing like no one else is around! I promise, you may feel silly in the beginning (because unlike Daddies, Mommies don’t initially feel that it is cool to be playing in a pretend rock band) but by the time you are done with one set, you will feel calmer and more relaxed and even happier! Happy Rock band mothering!
This is how Rock band Karaoke saved one mom’s sanity.
2010/07/14