The TRUTH About Motherhood

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Most Binge Worthy Halloween Shows to get Your Fright On
It’s Halloween and all things creepy are going on in my house. Halloween is our favorite holiday. We love to be scared and dress up as a family. Each year, we try to up our Halloween game a little bit more from the previous year. This year we let the tween chose the costume theme and drumroll please, thanks to her love of all things Cirque du Soleil Kurios and a binge watching of Steampunk’d, we are all going to be dressing steampunk this Halloween.
Now, that would all be awesome and good except for one small faux pas. All three of we girls in the family ended up with the exact same costume. Yep, you heard me right, I’m going to be “that” mom this Halloween. I swear I’m not trying to hold on to my fleeting youth by dressing like my tween.
It just so happened that the 9-year-old and I got the same dress, just slightly different because it was the only Steampunk costume around that didn’t look pornographic on my boobs. Hers has a mesh covering on the neckline. The tween went completely off script and ordered a costume from some obscure costume shop…she missed the fine print about it being located in China! And that my friends are why that costume has still not arrived (don’t order costumes from Light in the Box..unless you’re planning on ordering in July if you want it by Halloween.)
So today after school we made a detour to Spirit Halloween and guess who else is now wearing the same costume as her little sister and her mom? Did I mention that I am mortified? My husband the Steam Punk gentleman and his three steampunk triplets! How embarrassing, right? Now, how do I rock this damn costume better than my tween? Because it has to be done. I can’t be outshined by an 11-year-old!
But before all this costume drama unfolds this weekend, this weekend I will be binging on all the Halloween shows I can fit into my days…sort of like the way you binge on Halloween chocolate on Halloween night after the kids fall asleep. You know what I mean, don’t play innocent.
If you are looking for some great Halloween favorites to binge watch on Netflix here are a few I’d recommend!
Horror Series
Containment, Stranger Things, American Horror Story, IZombie, Scream, The Walking Dead, Penny dreadful and The Vampire Diaries.
Classic Horror Movies
Children of the Corn, Curse of Chucky, The Amityville Horror and HellRaiser.
Halloween for the Family
Hotel Transylvania 2, Addams Family, GOOSEBUMPS, Girl Vs. Monster and Practical Magic.
What’s your favorite Halloween movie or show?
Disclosure: I am a Netflix stream team member but all opinions on best Halloween movies are my own.
2016/10/26
Rita, my Newest Netflix Obsession
A few weeks ago a fellow ballet mom and I were discussing our Netflix guilty pleasures. Sitting there outside the ballet studio that Tuesday, I never would have guessed how important that conversation would become to me and how relevant that recommendation in my life. When you are have nowhere to go, the only escape from the minutia is through your mind and boy, have I ever needed an escape.
Since recently becoming bedridden due to my fall heard round the Internet, I have become very well acquainted with my Netflix account. It seems that as I spent last year shuttling my daughters around town for various extracurricular activities, I missed a lot of great shows last year and with new shows starting this week, it’s time to catch up.
So far, I have caught up on Once Upon a Time, Gray’s Anatomy and the Walking Dead and I am ready for the new seasons to start. I also binge watched Game of Thrones (available on DVD). Just an FYI, if you haven’t watched Game of Thrones, you are missing out. It is amazing. It’s super intense and filled with all kinds of sex and violence ( so definitely not anything to watch with the kids around) but I love it.
I also found a new Netflix addiction, Rita. The show is based out of Copenhagen and is about a no-nonsense teacher with a wild side. Following the life of a very outspoken and rebellious single mother, Rita Madsen is a schoolteacher who is competent in the classroom, but seems to need a teacher of her own, when it comes to her personal life.
I loved this show because it felt like the characters were really relatable and the sort of people you might see at your own place of work. The bottom line is that the show is about a teacher who is a hot mess in her own personal life but she will stop at nothing to help her students. She is there biggest advocate.
Even though she may not have her own stuff together, she always tried to do what was best for the kids; her biological children and the many students that she loved and wanted to give a chance in the world. Most of the show was her sticking her neck out to rescue a student. I’d like to think that there are teachers that care as much as Rita at my children’s school, especially at a time in my parenting tenure when I feel that I really have to depend on my children’s teachers to be their advocate.
I just finished season 3 of Rita so I guess I’d better find another series. What’s your favorite Netflix series to binge watch?
Disclosure: I am a member of the Netflix Stream team but all opinions are my own.
2015/09/23
Cyber Fan or Cyberstalker and how to Know the Difference
Do you know the difference between a cyber fan and a cyberstalker? Because there definitely is a difference and if you work online you should be aware of what cyberstalking is. You should also familiarize yourself with what catfishing is because there are some really desperate individuals out there.
I live and breathe online. I get it. I make my business public. That’s why I’ll never get to live out my dream of being a politician.Well, that and the fact that I actually have some morals and ethics. Those are hard qualities to reconcile with being a politician. My personal business is just too damn public. It served its purpose. It was cathartic but the downside is…everyone knows my business. I’ve had to forfeit some of my expectation of privacy by doing this.
It wasn’t important at the time. At the time I wrote some of the pieces, believe me, my mental status and processing were much more important than who knew my business. But then the dust settles and it’s out there and, as we all know, once it’s out there. It is out there so be somewhat cautious with your online presence.
A couple months ago, I had a real life face-to-face meeting with a reader. Well, she wasn’t so much of a regular reader as my bank teller who handled a deposit from Pop Sugar once and from there on decided to Google me and follow my writing…everywhere. First I thought maybe she was a fellow writer who wanted some tips on how to pitch Pop Sugar. Normally, I would have been flattered but she did one of those things where you go just one step too far. You know what I mean. We’ve all done it. You know you’ve gone too far fangirl when the other party gives you the “the hell?” look. I think she saw mine all the way from my car.
Anyways, I was a little bit creeped out that my teller not only went fangirl on me but then started telling me how she Googled me and had read my pieces on Scary Mommy, Huffington Post, Latina Mom.me, Parenting, She Knows, The Stir and even stuff as far back as Aiming Low. But, I let it go. I mean after all; I make my life public so what did I expect? Someday I was bound to run into someone other than my family, friends or fellow bloggers who actually read my blog.
But then a couple weeks later I returned and again she referenced things I had published online. Now, again this might not have been creepy except when I write online there is a tiny bit of privacy. For instance, most of you don’t know where I live, have my actual address and social security number at your disposal and know where my kids go to school and what they look like in person. You guys don’t know my husband’s name and I probably won’t run into any of you at the local grocery. Basically, I’m not in any immediate danger of you guys coming to my door and boiling my dog or using me as a skin suit. Her on the other hand, she was creeping me out. And now that I think about it, I probably shouldn’t be writing this at all because SWF might be reading it. Anyways, here’s hoping she’s not!
I’m not going to lie. I started avoiding my bank. I just felt uncomfortable with her level of comfortableness with me. It’s one thing to Google, someone, it’s a completely different thing to actually tell them and continue on like that is normal to do. It certainly wasn’t professional.
I didn’t think it had really affected me until I realized I have 4 very personal posts in my drafts folder. Anyone who has been reading me for a while knows that I don’t leave posts in the drafts folder. I publish it all.
Then last night, I had a very weird and long dream. I’m not going to go all into detail but let’s just say it involved a very not well-thought out panic room, a weirdo and my entire family. The scariest part of all was that after the entire situation was resolved and the aggressor was apprehended in my dream, the creeper looked at me and (Scooby Doo ending like) said very eerily, “It’s okay, I’ll find you again. You’ll be x, y, z, doing x, y, z again soon.” And that was very scary because they mentioned very specific posts from my blog and I woke up ready to shut the whole thing down. But then I remembered, that’s not who I am and I’m not 5-years-old. Nightmares don’t send me running to my mom’s bed anymore. So, I’m hitting publish and I’m leaving it all on the blog.
The moral of the story is that if you don’t want to be labeled an online stalker, don’t tell people you meet in person that you’ve never met before that you’ve Googled them. It’s just weird unless you are vetting someone for a job or a date and definitely don’t do it every time you see them.
Have you ever had an cyberstalker cross over into real life and how did you deal with it?
2016/10/14
No Air
Sometimes I forget that I live in a world full of triggers. Sometimes I forget just how terrible reality can be. How sad and empty the world is without certain people and then something happens and it’s like life shakes me hard to remind me just how fragile life is. I think this is what keeps me human and humble.
Nothing like a swift reminder that there are no guarantees. People die. People leave. Life hurts and that is the reality. Even when someone seems like they have it all, devastation can be waiting right around the corner. That’s the real reason you should never envy anyone because you never really know what they are going through. The worst part is that life is so random and we have absolutely no control of it, not really.
I guess I’m feeling a little discombobulated lately thanks to to recent losses. Last week we lost someone close to our family and now, he’s just gone. Not here. Someplace else. No longer here for guidance. What once was a crucial thread in the tapestry of our life has become completely unraveled and been removed. He’s gone and we just have to learn to live in that new reality. It’s shocking because it was so unexpected but then we began to digest it, as we do, and navigate life in our new reality minus one.
Then last night, I found out that someone who was a huge part of my childhood died. It’s silly, really. He’s a celebrity. We’ve never met but I felt a connection to my dad through him and his music. He’s from the same part of Mexico as my dad. He was a year younger than my dad. I grew up listening to him in the background of my life’s soundtrack. I passed his music along to my children as a part of my own father’s legacy. He’s always been there and now, he’s not.
This sent me down a rabbit hole of sadness. My dad is in Mexico right now. I haven’t seen him in 8 months. Juan Gabriel has always reminded me of time with my dad. This reminded me of my dad’s younger brother, my favorite uncle, Narciso. He’s dead. He was murdered when I was 16. Which reminded me of my great uncle, Ramon, he died when I was 13. He was like a Grandpa to me. I was his favorite. This made me think of the baby I lost and how different my life would look if these people were alive. Now, I’m in a hole seeing nothing but darkness asking myself, how am I even breathing in this world with no air?
You know, each time someone I love dies I try to convince myself that they are in a better place. I tell myself that they are together and one day I will see them again. That’s how I get through it. I tell myself. I convince myself that they are better off, even if my heart is breaking into pieces. But what if they aren’t? What if when we die, that’s it?
I hope not. I hate to think that death is the end for the people I loved so dearly; good people who did good in the world, if nothing else than love me; care in a world that so often doesn’t.
I thought I was okay. Then I dropped the girls off at school this morning and saw the reader board. There it was, our Monsignor’s name followed by the time for visitation, vigil and tomorrow’s funeral time. Then a wave of sadness hit me with the realization that I will never see his smile again. My children are going to say goodbye at a private visitation this morning with their classes. I hate that I can’t be there to hold their hand for this. I hate that they have to say goodbye to someone they love at such a young age.
Tomorrow we say our final goodbye. This morning, I’m feeling fragile thinking of all the loss realizing that when you love fully, you live surrounded by triggers and reminders of what could have been and what was. In moments like these, it’s hard not to go down the rabbit hole and feel sorry for yourself but that’s not what they, these dearly departed of ours, would want. It’s not what I’d want. So, in a couple minutes, I’m going to wipe away these tears and live in this moment because even though sometimes it feels like there is no air…there is. We live surrounded by it.
So now, I inhale and I exhale and I repeat until it feels natural again. I keep living and enjoying my life as fully as possible because those people I’ve lost would accept no less. And the cold hard truth is that we only have one life and it’s really short. We have to make it count. Life is a full contact sport and none of us survive in the end.
2016/08/29
Motherhood’s a Bitch
Sometimes, I’m not going to lie, I want to quit this shitty job. Being a mom sucks hard… but then it doesn’t. There are other moments when it’s so amazing that I just want to smother mother the shit out of my kids as my helicopter parenting skills buzz above us because they are so freaking, heartbreakingly awesome. We’ve all been here, both here’s, right? But then there are other moments when I miss the hell out of Debi BC (before children), you know, that glorious broad who got to sleep in until she just woke up, roll out of bed and went to lunch with friends and got to eat actual hot food, pee alone and not worry about keeping anyone alive but herself? Oh that lucky lady. I’m so jealous of who I used to be, but then I couldn’t be who I am, the mother to two of the most amazing human beings I’ve ever known. Most days anyways.
When you have kids, your life doesn’t just change, your perspective on everything changes. You are living life looking at everything through mom goggles. That is where I am now and it’s where I’ll always be. Things that didn’t seem to register before (what school district I lived in) are now big deals, and things that were really important to me (having a night life with friends and being in the know) are so unimportant to me now that I could care less what’s cool and what’s not. I just want a good world for my children.
I want to raise good children and I want to be the best mother that I can be. You might be better or worse at being a mother but I’m trying my damnest not to measure myself against you because the truth is if we all measure ourselves against each other life is shit for all of us, especially our kids. I don’t want to make myself feel like a better mother by shaming another mother, I’d prefer to just do my own best to be a good mother in my children’s eyes.
I just had the pleasure of screening the movie Tallulah written by Sian Heder and all I can say is WOW!
No matter what kind of mom you are, aspire to be or thought you would be, you can relate. And better than that, you can get a little perspective by living a moment from the viewpoint of someone else’s shoes, while knowing a little about how they got that perspective in the first place. Honestly, there were three main characters; Margo, Tallulah and Carolyn; and I could identify with each one of them. I have been all three of them. I’m not sure what that says about me, but I found myself wanting to hug and shake and then hug again each woman.
Tallulah is the story of three very different women whose lives intersect through the impulsive and well-intentioned kidnapping of a child. It’s a story about motherhood, about looking for a mother and becoming a mother. But mostly it’s a story about humanity, about the blurry lines of morality and deeply flawed human behavior. It’s a story that has no clear answer or cut and dry solution, but instead makes you care about each and every person involved, no matter how wrong their actions seemed. It’s a conversation about responsibility.
Tallulah is a movie that lives on the fringe of judgment, that feeling that not all women are meant to be mothers. As a mother, we all have times when we feel like we are flailing and failing. But that doesn’t make us a villain or a bad mom. Tallulah doesn’t have good people and bad people. There were only people doing their best with the limited emotional tools that they had and often making bad choices. Lonely people. People whose families had failed them; who were looking for some kind of connection in an increasingly disconnected world.
Tallulah is about motherhood from different perspectives because no two mothers are alike, just as no two children are alike. We are all just trying to do our best. There is no time for shaming one another. We need to take that energy and direct it towards helping one another do our best for our children, not judging and condemning one another.
Motherhood is hard enough as it is without us judging one another. For better perspective, check out Tallulah.
2016/07/29
Cochlear Helps Make the Impossible Possible
Disclosure: This post made possible through the support of Cochlear. All opinions are my own.
Can you imagine a world with no sound? Never hearing your husband say, “I love you” or your baby’s first giggle? Can you imagine never hearing birds singing, wind blowing or waves crashing into the shore? Imagine never being able to hear the voice of your mother or your toddler whisper, “I love you, Mommy.” I can and the thought terrifies me.
You see, for years when I was a little girl, I suffered from chronic ear infections which led to permanent hearing loss in my right ear. It’s only considered mild hearing loss but it made things challenging for me, as a small child and, to some degree, even now.
For instance, it’s hard for me to hear people when they are not looking directly at me when they’re speaking. It sounds like mumbling to me. It’s a little like hearing through a window or listening under water. Of course, as time has gone on, I’ve acclimated to my deficit. Most of the time I don’t even think about the fact that I’ve lost some of my hearing.
But I notice that I feel the need to concentrate when I listen, so sometimes when people are talking to me it seems like I’m staring at them when all I’m really doing is listening. If you’ve met me in person, you’ve probably noticed this. My hearing loss happened over time but we found out the loss was permanent when I was 6-years- old. This led to 5 years of speech therapy in which I was taught to slow down, enunciate and listen.
I hated having to go to speech therapy when I was in elementary school because it made me feel like an outsider but honestly, it taught me valuable lessons about communication that I’ve carried with me for my whole life; valuable lessons that I’ve used in parenting my own daughters; the true value of not only listening but hearing what others are saying.
I learned the importance of slowing down to tune in to my children, talking more with my daughters and taking turns to make sure that not only are my children heard but understood. I make it a point not to speak at my children but with them.
My experience also made me sensitive to my children’s speech when they were young. As a result of my hearing loss and years in speech therapy, I made it a point to be aware of my children’s social cues while communicating because some things were beyond their vocabulary. If I ever felt the need for concern, I would simply bring it up to their pediatrician in private.
All of this has built a foundation for trust and open dialogue with my daughters that I hope continues to grow throughout their lives. I don’t think I would be as attentive of a mother or informed about hearing and speech issues had I not experienced them myself and, for that, I’m grateful.
In the end, I may have some mild hearing loss but I didn’t have any learning disabilities or speech delays because of it but some children are not so lucky. Thankfully, technology has made it possible to help some children and adults.
Cochlear, in operation for over 30 years, is the global leader in implantable hearing solutions, providing products (cochlear implants, bone conduction, and acoustic implants) that are designed to treat a range of moderate to profound types of hearing loss. They’ve helped over 450,000 people worldwide have access to sound.
The amazing thing about Cochlear is their passion to connect with parents who want their kids to have access to hearing to help with language and development so they can live their lives without limits.
Cochlear knows communication is the crux of everything in parenting and an essential step in every parent’s journey is working on speech, language, and developmental milestones and they want to make that journey as successful as possible.
What would you do if the impossible were possible?
2016/06/07
If You Could Save Your Child’s Life with a Simple Test, Wouldn’t You?
Disclosure: I’ve partnered with DiMe Media to share this important information about tuberculosis testing.
Health has been at the forefront of my mind recently, mine especially thanks to the year of medical issues that just keep coming but it’s also reminded me that my family is not bulletproof; none of us are safe from the effects of not taking care of ourselves.
Health is something most of us take for granted until we find ourselves sick and unhealthy but by then, it’s too late. All this has made me make health a priority in our house again. As my mom says, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and boy, was she right.
As a mom, my children come first. When it comes to their health, I don’t want any surprises. I want simplicity so I can focus on what’s most important. That’s why I make sure that they get their immunizations and go to every well-visit. Everyone in our family gets yearly physicals. If any of us gets sick, we go to the doctor because I won’t chance our lives and health for the sake of saving a co-pay. That’s why the morning I thought I was having chest pains, even though I was pretty sure it was stomach related, I went to the Emergency room because I couldn’t chance it. Better to be safe than sorry. Also, better to be broke than dead.
There is now a blood test that can help diagnose tuberculosis infection that is a major scientific advance over the 110-year- old skin test. So, if there is a recommended test for tuberculosis for school-age children between the ages of 5-18-years-old that could prevent the onset of the illness, why would I not have my children take this simple blood test. Granted, I know taking drawing blood on a small child is traumatizing and quite horrifying to watch, for me anyways, if I’m being honest but so is the alternative.
Tuberculosis is not some obscure disease that no one contracts; it’s not like “cooties.”
It’s real and it can affect anyone sometimes there are no symptoms and you don’t even know that you contracted it and other times it can kill you. TB infection, also referred to as latent TB, occurs when a person has the bacteria that causes Tuberculosis in his or her body, but the bacteria are not causing any disease or symptoms. If you are diagnosed with latent TB there is a chance that the bacteria may cause disease in the future, so you are likely to be offered treatment to prevent this from happening. This is most likely what my grandmother had as a child.
TB infection is usually chronic and silent before it becomes active. This inactive carrier state can persist for weeks, months or years before developing into active contagious disease. The disease is an airborne, highly contagious, infectious disease caused by a bacterium, Mycobacterium tuberculosis. Most frequently, TB affects the lungs, however, it can also cause diseases in any part of the body, such as the lymph nodes, bones, brain, organs and eyes. It is an equal opportunity illness.
This is not some obscure disease of the past as many might think. It is a serious disease that kills about 1.5 million people each year worldwide. The key purpose of diagnosing latent tuberculosis infection is to identify who is at risk of progressing to active TB disease.
TB is a major health problem worldwide. Here are some staggering facts to consider:
- 30% of humans are infected
- A new infection happens every 3 seconds
- Every 21 seconds, someone dies of TB
- Primary care physicians can and do make a huge difference in identifying and treating TB infection before it blossoms into active disease. 37 million lives have been saved between 2000 and 2013 through identification of infection and treatment.
My grandmother had tuberculosis when she was a child, only no one even knew about it until she developed lung cancer as an adult and then they saw the scarring. That’s scary. I don’t want to run that risk with my own children’s health.
The TB blood test is the only available method of testing for TB with completely objective results. Other tests, such as the skin test, are subjective and open to visual interpretation. In contrast to the TB skin test, the TB blood test allows you to get accurate results in just one visit leading to meaningful benefits – more ease, more time, more certainty.
This new tuberculosis blood test is an easy and simple process that gives accurate results, so why wouldn’t we do it for our children?
2016/05/25
Mother’s Day Gift Guide for Moms who Love Tech
Mother’s Day is right around the corner and as we all know, every mother like every child, is a snowflake and picking just the right gift can be a daunting task if you forget that the only thing moms really want is something from the heart. That’s all it takes to make any of us happy really.
But if your mom is a techie, like myself, there may be some things that might make her high tech heart smile just a little wider than say a crockpot. But hey, if mom’s in to easy to make, on the go crockpot dinners, a new crockpot might be the best gift ever. Me, I prefer tech.
Here is a list of some of the hottest tech gifts this Mother’s Day:
The Huawei watch
The Huawei Watch Jewel & Elegant is at the top of my list. It’s inspired by the timeless style of feminine beauty. It’s elegant form complimented by smart technology, seamlessly blends in full functionality with flair. It’s more sophisticated and beautiful than the competition and can be outfitted in a number of different styles. It’s all the beauty of a fine timepiece and all the function of a high-end smart watch.
Powered by Android wear, the Huawei Watch makes keeping active and reaching your health goals effortless. A high-accuracy motion sensor keeps track of your activity and knows when you are walking, running or climbing.
Then if you are buying a Fitbit, make sure you look at the waterproof Fitbit models as it’s much better to have it waterproof than not.

The Qardio Base Smart Scale & Body Analyzer
Now, I wouldn’t normally put a scale on a Mother’s Day gift guide but I have to say, I have one and it really is one of my favorite things. The Qardio Base is a smart scale that provides weight and full body composition feedback. It works with an app and provides your weight, BMI and fat percentage. Multiple users can use it and there is even a pregnancy mode that accounts for expectant moms.
Want to know if you’re burning fat and gaining muscle? Or whether you’re actually losing weight not just water? Qardio Base smart scale makes it possible.
It allows you to set your goals and track your progress with clever charts & graphs and it even has a pregnancy mode. It’s the first scale that let’s mom know her body, not just her weight and that makes a difference.

Panasonic Lumix ZS100
Whether the mom in your life is an enthusiast or full-auto photographer, the ZS100 delivers the upgrade in image quality a 1-inch sensor affords with just enough zoom lens for a lot of framing flexibility and the capability to be sufficiently fast enough to capture kids and pets in action. Plus the ZS100 supports 4K video for the sharpest video capture possible. It has everything the professional or novice photographer mom could ever want.
Shield TV
Shield TV is a top-of-the-line Android streaming device from NVIDIA. From its sleek, angular design and the world’s largest app ecosystem to exceptional speed (34x faster) and 4k resolution – Shield TV is packed with ultra-modern features to deliver the ultimate entertainment experience by centralizing your favorite shows, movies, games, music and more in one place. With options for all ages – from PBS Kids to ESPN – and the ultimate Android gaming platform, Shield is the must-have travel essential for family trips.
With amazing Google voice capabilities and microphone-equipped remote, you can now find exactly what you want on Netflix or YouTube without seemingly endless clicks as you scroll through libraries. This means mom can pull up her favorite titles, instantly and virtually hands-free. No matter what she’s doing.

Olloclip 4-in-1 lens system
Portability, great quality and ease of use, the Olloclip 4-in-1 lens system has it all. It delivers the best-looking images. Your mom the smartphone photographer will get a fisheye, wide-angle and two macro lenses using a mount that works with both front and rear cameras of Apple’s two newest smartphones. All of this comes in a kit that offers great image quality while still being easy to carry. The system takes just a second to attach to her phone and stows away neatly in a pocket or bag using the included cloth pouch.

Moleskine Smart Writing Set
The Moleskine Smart Writing Set may be one of my favorite things ever. It is a 3-part system that includes a Paper Tablet, a Pen+ and the free Moleskine Notes iOS app. This system allows mom to turn anything she writes on the tablet into a digital file. No scanning required.
The Pen+ and its built-in camera picks up the code embedded in the pages of the Paper Tablet and uploads it to the Notes app. It is the perfect gift for moms like me who still like to take written notes. What can I say? I’m old school and I like tangible.
These gifts are sure to make the tech-loving mom in your life smile. I know they’d make my techy heart happy.
What’s at the top of your Mother’s Day wish list this year?
Disclosure: Some of these gifts on this Mother’s Day gift guide were provided to me for review purposes but all opinions are my own.
2016/04/27
That One Time I thought I was having a Heart Attack
Ever been afraid that maybe you were having a heart attack? Seriously. I’m not trying to be funny but I’m overweight and out of shape. A heart attack is a real possibility. I’m a fat woman. I have a BMI of 33 and I recently spent 4 months sitting on my butt. Honestly, you can look healthy and still have a heart attack. They don’t call it the silent killer in women for nothing.
I’ve seen the commercials citing that 1 out of 3 women will have a heart attack our symptoms are different than men. In fact, I know a friend who had a heart attack and didn’t even realize it until afterwards. I also have a great Aunt who spent the day with us touring the Biltmore Estate and had a heart attack. None of us knew until she told her doctor and he checked her, a week later. Ladies, that scares the ish out of me. I don’t want to die of a heart attack. I want to live to be 103. That’s my expiration date. It’s non-negotiable.
Anyways, last Friday morning; I woke up at 5 a.m. with a ridiculous pain in my actual stomach (not my intestines) and it would not go away. It woke me from my sleep and the little voice in my head, recited the commercial about the mom who thought she had indigestion but instead ended up dead because she was actually having a heart attack and TUMS ain’t got nothing on that.
I got up and took some Mylanta (because I always have it on hand since the first and only stomach ache I’ve ever had). It didn’t work. Then I took some TUMS. They didn’t work. Then I took a Xanax because I’m under a shiton of stress and maybe I was having a panic attack. Nothing. I waited half an hour. Still horrific pain. Now it was from my stomach to my right side of my rib cage.
Were these the symptoms of a heart attack?
You always hear of women thinking they had heartburn and it was something else; something more. I took my blood pressure with my portable Bluetooth QardioArm blood pressure monitor and checked it right there in the app on my phone and saved it to show the hospital. As moms, we are so focused on everyone else, we neglect ourselves. Don’t do that. It could mean the difference between life and death.
SHIT! I’m having a heart attack, so I took an aspirin because blood clots and strokes. At 6:30 a.m. when everyone else woke up, I texted my husband that I needed to go to the hospital. He assured me that it was heartburn from the Mexican food at Bella’s birthday dinner from the previous night.
Firstly, I’ve only had heartburn once in my life and this wasn’t it. Secondly, it felt like acid and a severe, prolonged heart cramp. I just knew I was dying but I kept it cool for my kids. We dropped them at school where I gave them extra long goodbye hugs and kisses, without divulging anything to them, and then we proceeded on to the Emergency room. I hate the emergency room.
Long story short, after 5 hours in the Emergency room, an EKG, an ultrasound (twice in one week, lucky me!), several blood tests and worrying myself into an absolute tizzy. We found out that no, I did not in fact have a heart attack but the doctor was glad that I had come in rather than ignore my symptoms. We found out that I have gallstones, 2 of them (they go perfectly with the 3 fibroids they found last Wednesday) and upon further questioning they found out that from the prolonged ibuprofen usage for the swelling in my broken leg, I have actually made the lining of my stomach sensitive.
The sensitive stomach and high cholesterol, high fat, highly greasy Mexican food did not enjoy one another’s company. My stomach became irritated which in effect affected my gallbladder (with it’s two stones). I had a gallbladder attack. It was not pleasant and I don’t recommend it.
They intravenously administered an antacid for my stomach, some Zofran so I wouldn’t throw up and a dose of happy, I mean morphine, for the pain. They gave me strict instructions to take Zantac, especially if I planned on continuing on with the ibuprofen regimen (which I have not) and to stay away from high cholesterol meals. I quit Ibuprofen cold turkey and have been reading labels because 103-years-old, people. My expiration date is 2075, not 2016.
The moral of the story is that when you think you might have something seriously wrong with you; trust your gut (pun intended). Maybe I wasn’t having an actual heart attack (but I could have been) but I did have something wrong with me and it needed medical attention STAT. I’m not sure that would have happened if I suffered through it at home or went to a walk-in clinic. I needed tests, not a Band-Aid.
It’s been a crazy couple of weeks. Bring on Disney World because mama needs a vacation. Do yourself a favor and know the symptoms of a heart attack in women.
- Uncomfortable pressure, squeezing, fullness or pain in the center of your chest that lasts more than a few minutes, or goes away and comes back.
- Pain or discomfort in one or both arms, the back, neck, jaw or stomach.
- Shortness of breath, with or without chest discomfort.
- Other signs such as breaking out in a cold sweat, nausea or lightheadedness.
Have you ever thought maybe you were experiencing symptoms of a heart attack or something serious and second-guessed yourself?
2016/03/21
Food is Love
When I think of food, I think of love. Not like, my food loves me but I associate food with the feelings of being cared about by someone who loves you; like my mother making me a grilled cheese after school on a cold winter day when I was a small child or how she made me that same favorite grilled cheese when I was overcome with morning sickness when I was pregnant with my first child. There is something comforting and beautiful about a food made with such love and caring as a mother providing food for her child.
I think most people think of food in this way. That’s probably why we have that old saying, “A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Maybe there is something to it. Most people celebrate the big occasions in life with food because it’s a way to share a special moment with family and friends, punctuated by the warm, permeating smells of something delicious baking in the oven.
I think I probably learned this as a small child watching my mom cook for my father and the six of us children. Some of my fondest memories as a child are centered on our kitchen table as we all shared a meal. I want that for my children. The meal is about more than just the food, it’s about gathering together and talking about your day. It’s about listening and caring. In a word, it’s about love.
This is why my family has dinner together every night and on weekends, all meals are eaten gathered around our dining table after we spend the prep time in the kitchen together. Those cooking stand at the stove while those not sit at the island, watching and learning. We’ve done this with our girls since they were very small.
They’ve always had an interest in cooking and want to learn the recipes we’ve had handed down from our mothers and grandmothers. I always get a warm fuzzy feeling when they ask, “Mommy, when I grow up, will you teach me how to make your enchiladas/ secret recipe meatloaf/lemon Greek soup?” My standard answer is, “Yes, of course,” then I whisper, “ It’s all on the blog.”
Of course like most kids, they love anything I cook or bake even more so if they have a hand in it and I think it’s important to encourage them to experiment. I want it to be a fun experience not something I take so seriously that I yell at every imperfection. I just breathe and remind myself that there is a special beauty in the imperfections and these precious moments are few and fleeting the older they get. Pretty soon, I am sure they will both be better cooks than I am.
There is one thing that they love to bake together as often as possible, Pillsbury™ Grands! Cinnamon Rolls. Maybe, like my mom’s grilled cheese does for me, it holds some special part in their heart. All I know is that if they see them in the refrigerator, they always get a little sparkle in their eye because they know that we will be together in the kitchen baking them.
There is just something special about biting into that first bite of a warm, gooey cinnamon roll especially when someone you love made it. For Valentine’s Day, I thought a fun way to surprise the girls was with a batch of Pillsbury™ Grands! Cinnamon Rolls. Each bite reminding them of how much their mom loves them. This is so simple but something they will remember forever and might someday do for their own children. It’s quick, it’s easy and what’s more special than waking up to the sweet smell of cinnamon rolls on a cold Midwestern morning?

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by General Mills through their partnership with POPSUGAR Select. While I was compensated to write a post about Pillsbury™ Grands! Cinnamon Rolls, all opinions are my own.
2016/02/12