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  • 6 Questions To Ask Before Getting A Family Dog

    6 Questions To Ask Before Getting A Family Dog

    Dogs are awesome. We are dog people. To be fair, we love cats and guinea pigs and mostly all animals but dogs are our favorite. They can be excellent additions to any family. Saffaron, Lola and Stella are the best things that have happened to us. These furry friends stick by your side for their entire lives, giving you all the attention you need, through thick and thin, dogs just love you unconditionally. Honestly, humans don’t deserve dogs at all. They’re far too good for us; offering up all of their love without wanting anything but a few belly rubs and treats in return. If you’re considering getting a dog? Below are 6 questions to ask before getting a dog.

    Having a dog to yourself is one thing – it’s completely different if you want to get one for a family. When you have kids to think about as well, you can’t make a snap decision to just get a dog. A few key questions need to be asked and answered to help you figure out if this is the right move for you and your family. 

    Do you have room for a dog?

    Firstly, is there enough room in your house for a dog? You might have a relatively small home with a small backyard. It’s absolutely perfect for you and your family right now. There’s enough space for everyone, and the yard is just big enough for the kids to enjoy. 

    Unfortunately, if you add a dog into the picture, the house seems a lot smaller. There’s no space for the dog to roam around during the day – particularly if it’s a fairly big one. You can’t really find anywhere to keep a dog bed and there’s certainly not enough room outside for your pooch to have a little house. 

    Consequently, some families might be unable to handle a dog because there’s not enough room in the home. This does depend on the type of dog you’re thinking about getting – smaller ones don’t need that much room. However, we will talk more about dog breeds later on! 

    Are you able to look after the dog?

    How busy is your daily schedule? Are you packed to the brim with things to do every single day? If you already struggle to find time for yourself – which a lot of parents do struggle to do – then a dog may complicate things. Suddenly, you have another responsibility on your hands. 

    Can you walk the dog regularly? Will you be able to keep them groomed? Can you ensure they’re given all the attention they deserve? Is a puppy financially feasible for you; can you afford to keep them fed, loved, and rewarded with treats when they need them? These things may not always be cheap or convenient to provide but you need to consider them. For example, you might think treats are not a necessity but Treatibles are great for training, and behavioral adjustments, some are good for joint pain, tummy issues and relieving anxiety.

    Yes, you can argue that your kids should give them lots of attention. In reality, they are the ones that probably asked you to get a dog anyway! But, what if they are too young to walk the dog by themselves? They’re too little to give the dog a bath or even to feed it. So, all the responsibility falls on your shoulders. One thing you can do is invest in the best gps dog fence, if you have a lot of open space for your dog to roam, as this will lessen the responsibility of exercise.

    Okay, what if your kids are old enough to help you look after the dog. In this scenario, you still have to give them loads of attention when the kids are at school. There are many hours in the day when a dog will be left without your children to take care of it. Can you find the time in these hours to give them attention? If you work a full-time job, the answer will be a resounding no. 

    Please, please, please take this into consideration before getting a dog for your family. As you can imagine, time is the number one reason people surrender dogs. Owners simply can’t find the time to give a dog the attention and care it deserves. Don’t be one of those people that gets a dog and has to give it up. It’s not nice for the dog to be taken to a new home, only to end up being abandoned at an animal shelter. 

    If you want a family pet, but don’t have the time to devote many hours a day to that pet, think about getting a cat. They’re super low-maintenance and can be left for hours on end with no issues. As long as there’s water, food, and a cat flap, the cat is fine by themselves.

    Why do you want a family dog?

    Ask yourself, why do you want a family dog? It might seem like a strange question, but consider what has pushed you to think about bringing a furry friend to your family. Is this a decision you and your partner have been thinking about for a long time? Perhaps you had dogs before when you were growing up, and you’d love to have one for your new family to enjoy. That’s a perfectly viable reason to get a dog; you want a new addition to the family!

    But, what if you’re getting one because your kids have pestered you about it. They’ve been saying they want a dog, so you’re finally thinking about caving in. If this isn’t something you and your partner are too keen on, don’t give in. 

    It’s never a good idea to get anything because your kids really want it. Kids are kids, meaning they like different things all the time. They may love the idea of a dog right now, but will they still be as interested in a few weeks or months?

    A dog is a long-term investment for you and your kids. Be sure that this isn’t just a phase before you decide to get one. 

    Can you afford a dog?

    After answering the previous questions, you’ve reached a pivotal point in the dog acquiring process. Can you actually afford the financial commitment that comes with owning a dog?

    The initial costs will vary depending on how you get your dog. If you adopt, it’s completely free. If you purchase a dog from a breeder, prices depend on the specific breed of dog as well as the caliber of the breeder. 

    However, these aren’t the main costs you should be worried about. Instead, you need to question if you can afford the ongoing costs of dog ownership. So, how much is this going to cost? Well, you should start by considering everything you need to buy: 

    There’s a lot you need to think about, and the costs can add up to anywhere between $1,500 to $9,900 per year. That’s a lot of money that you might not be able to afford. Of course, it all depends on your financial situation. Some of you may do the calculations and figure out that you can definitely afford an extra mouth to feed. If that’s the case, you’re one step closer to owning a dog. 

    If you can’t afford a dog, think about how you can save money to possibly get one in the future!

    What dog breeds are good for kids/families?

    You can financially afford a dog, but you’re still not ready to go out there and pick one up. Some dogs are better suited to families and young children than others. For the sake of your kid’s safety, you need to consider breeds that are suitable. Here are some of the options you should think about: 

    Labrador retrievers

    Labs are always popular family dogs because they have the perfect temperament for kids. They’re very patient, playful and full of love. As you can see on https://chocolatelabradorretriever.ca/lab-retriever-michigan/, you can get labrador retrievers in a range of colors, with chocolate labs being very popular these days. They do grow to be quite big, but they always retain a sense of playfulness that makes them perfect family companions. 

    Boxers

    Boxers are great medium-sized dogs, so they’re great to have around kids. There’s never any worry about the dogs knocking over young children, and they have a very fun-loving, bright and active demeanor that makes them ideal for a family setting. While originally a working dog, these dogs are constantly eager to play games and have fun outside. They’re a great option if you want a pet to occupy your kids for hours on end. 

    Boston terriers

    A small dog breed that works really well with families and children is Boston terriers. The great thing about Boston terriers is that they are pretty low-maintenance. They don’t need to be walked that much, and they’re more than happy to stay inside for hours a day. Make no mistake about it, this doesn’t mean they’re lazy creatures. They are still keen to play with your kids, they’re just easier to look after than many other dogs. 

    Should you adopt or buy a dog?

    The final question is whether or not you should buy a dog. It is a good idea to adopt whenever possible. However, if you are looking for a specific breed of dog – or you want a puppy from birth to raise in your family, buying from a breeder might be the better option.  After asking yourself all of these crucial questions, you will know if a family dog is the right choice or not. Furthermore, you should also know what breed of dog is the best, and whether or not you should adopt it. It is so important to think this decision through as carefully as you can. Don’t rush into things as it could mean you get a dog that ends of being put up for adoption very soon.

    What would you add to our list of questions to ask before getting a dog?

  • More Hopping, FAWKING, and doing it all the HARD way!

    Happy Friday, my friends! If you are here! I am happy to see you. It’s Friday and I am in a fantastically wonderful mood. The Big Guy is headed home to our zip code, the Bellarini will be headed home soon and it will be cuddle, snuggles and naps all around! And my Gabs, that little golden nugget is sitting by my side watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse…ever so quietly.Coffee is piping hot and in this moment life is pretty SWEET!Most of you have heard about my Be a Better Me Challenge that I have been doing this month, in honor of my birthday. Hope you can link up and we can all be better us! Also, in honor of my birthday, I have set a small goal of reaching a 1000 followers by my birthday September 25th. So, if you can follow or pass the word on to your friends who you think would enjoy this blog, I would much appreciate it. Feeling too blessed to be stressed this morning. Hope you are too. Take some deep breaths, relax, let all the craziness fall to the wayside. It’s Friday, its a beautiful fall day, and  life is good! One more thing, Favor. Can you all help me out. I have been nominated for favorite Mommy Blogger on Babble. If its possible can you help me out by clicking on the first link here:

    https://www.babble.com/babble-50/mommy-bloggers/nominate-a-blogger/
    Then it should come up on the page “Nominate a favorite Mommy blogger” scroll down, select alphabetically as the way to sort and find The TRUTH about Motherhood and select
    ‘I like this Blogger”
    Thanks everyone!

    1. The strangest thing I’ve ever eaten is …alligator in New Orleans and rattlesnake and goat in Mexico.

    2. I wouldn’t be caught dead…. naked in public. It’s not pretty anymore and I’m pretty sure I’d give some people heart attacks (not in a good way) and probably be the cause of some in mouth regurgitation! Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Don’t feel pity for me, I can get back into shape…I just gotta get working at it.

    3. When I am 75 I will…. be just like Aunt Sally, she is beautiful inside and out, she lives loud and balls to the wall. She has eeked every ounce of life she can out of her 80+ years. She is my hero. When I am her age, I want to be agile, able, still driving, teasing the boys, funny, uber lovable, enjoying cocktails with my bestest friends. I want to live every single day like its my last, starting now!

    4. If I had to be named after a place I would want to be named… Virginia like the gorgeous state…the place where I left a big chunk of my heart last fall.

    5. My name is “Deborah” – after my Mom’s bestie- “Asuzenna” – a bastardization of my Dad’s little sister’s name Asusana. I love my name, it’s especially funny to hear the way people fuck it up. At high school graduation it was OHSUSANA, at college it was INFLUENZA, and at my wedding it was Insuzensa
    .It’s Ah-SU-ZEE-NA. Now you all know.

    6. My all time favorite photo is…. a photo of the Big Guy and I when we first started dating. We were both in college, terribly young and equally in love. We both have the biggest  smiles on our faces. I look a that picture and I remember how very lucky I am , and all the excitement and love that I felt in that moment to be with him..that picture can carry me through the rest of my life.No matter what kind of day I have, I can look at that picture and know that somewhere in the world the most amazing man I have ever known…loves me!
    The other photo I absolutely adore is one of my girls when Gabs was a week old. I love seeing Bella looking at Gabs with such love, and Gabs looking up to Bella with complete trust and adoration.

    7. If I could afford it… I would pay off all of our debt and our house, then I’d pay off my parents house, and my In laws house for them.If I could afford it, none of my friends and family would want for anything and then I’d take all of our stress free asses on a vacation to Greece.

    * I do normally place my blog hop badges here but for some reason BLOGGER is telling me it has some kind of form error. Sorry, I tried but with the badges, it actually won’t save the post. I’ve lost it twice already. NOT doing it again or I will have to throw this damn laptop!*

    Now on to the FAWK YOUs for the week.

    FAWK YOU to my beloved IMAC.Why must you decide to start flashing that blasted file folder with the question mark on it? I have no answer for you! You have left me very sad, lonely and disappointed.I’ll give you another chance, just please come back to me.sniff* sniff*

    FAWK you to a really hard week of kindergarten recess in which my little one felt ‘left out’. How I friggin hate to watch my girls feelings be hurt or heart broken. SO FAWK YOU growing pains!

    FAWK you to Notre Dame football traffic congesting my downtown  route to Bella’s school.

    FAWK you to bloggers who steal other bloggers content. Have you no original thought in your tiny brain?

    FAWK YOU again for not going all single white female life stealing on my posts. Is it weird that I feel a little left out:)

    FAWK you to this economy that causes the Big Guy to be in yet another state while I am left to single mother it all week. Also, economy thanks for making my girls sad and miss their daddy on a daily basis. Saying good night over the phone or SKYPE is just not the same as a good night kiss from the Big Guy!

    FAWK you to feeling lonely.

    FAWK you to free and easy. I think I want to do every thing hard…live, play, love, and laugh HARD!

  • Throat Punch Thursday; Seriously, its all fun and games until someone gets hurt!

    There is a lot going on in Bangkok this past week, as I am sure you are all aware. But amongst all the chaos, couping, and the red shirts losing their minds trying to force the Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva to step down. Something much worse than all of this still has happened in Thailand this week! Please refer to the footage below.

    https://www.ireport.com/themes/custom/resources/cvplayer/ireport_embed.swf?player=embed&configPath=https://www.ireport.com&playlistId=445256&contentId=445256/0&

    Can you believe this shit? Amongst all of this political warfare,with the red shirts trying to force the resignation of Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva more than 40 people have been killed and hundreds wounded in the past week , when weeks of mostly peaceful anti-government protests morphed into what is looking more and more like civil war. The Red Shirts, named for the color they wear, want the prime minister to resign and call new elections, and have paralyzed the capital for two months to that end.

    Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva has refused to step down, calling the protesters’ tactics “terrorism,” and has now unleashed the military’s full force against them. He went on national television earlier this week to declare a curfew until Thursday morning, banning anyone from leaving their homes without military permission. With all this happening, fire broke out and Bangkok is basically burnt to the ground. My problem is not with the coup or the actions of the Prime Minister, though both are unfortunate..my issue is with the sorry assholes who thought it would be a good idea to use a baby as a human shield. Where was this kids mama? OK, I was semi supportive of the red shirts..if the Prime Ministers an asshole..hey boot his ass out. If you need to organize to do it. I’m cool with that too! But when ‘by any means necessary’ entails holding babies in front of grown men! I say..HEll to the NAH!!! If these guys are going to man up and become engaged in this political game of tit for tat, at least do it yourself don’t hide behind an innocent baby. I’m hoping a sniper comes in and shoots them in the head, just to put the poor baby and any other unsuspecting babies out of harms way!
     So, this Thursday’s Throat punch is definitely awarded to the red shirts for unsportsmanlike behavior ! I wish I was in Bangkok to deliver it myself; swift and painful justice for all people who use babies as shields in any way. You know who you are…don’t make me throat punch you !

  • OH My BLOG AWARD!


    I just received this award from the wonderful Robin @https://yourdailydose-robin.blogspot.com/. Thanks so much! I adore getting awards. They make me smile..ear to ear! Thanks for reading my blog. Thanks for giving me the coolest award ever! So here are the rules;

    1. Get really excited that you got the coolest award EVER!
    2. Choose ONE of the following options of accepting the OMB award:
    (a) Get really drunk and blog for 15 minutes straight, or for as long as you can focus.
    (b) Write about your most embarrassing moment.
    (c) Write a “Soundtrack of your childhood” post.
    (d) Make your next blog a ‘vlog’/video blog.
    Basically, you’re talking to the camera about whatever.
    (e) Take a picture of yourself first thing in the morning,
    before you do anything else (hair, make up, etc) and post it.
    3. Pass the award on to at least three, but preferably more, awesome bloggers as yourself.
    Don’t forget to tell them.

    OK, I am choosing option B.  I am a klutz on wheels so I have a bottomless pit of “most” embarrassing moments. I will give you a couple choices and you choose which amuses you the most.1st, I was about 16 , the epitome of the girl next door. Totally in love with my own personal Jake Ryan ( boy next door). He was older, much cooler, and drove a way super cool Mustang GT that he had gotten for graduation.He used to pick me up for lunch (making me that much cooler). Anyways, one day my girlfriend and I are walking home from school for lunch..totally minding our own business. When who do I see coming directly towards us in his brand new shiny black Mustang..my all -American blonde haired, blue eyed boy next door. My ears all perk up, I am grinning from ear to ear, smiling so hard that my face hurt because I was so happy. I’m lucky my braces to slit my lips I was smiling so big. When out of no where, a group of boys from my high school pull up behind me , lean out of the car and promptly slap me square dead on my 16 year old ass, as my boy next door..love of my life at 16 , watches on in horror and then erupts into uncontrollable laughter. I was absolutely MORTIFIED!
    Next, fast forward about 5 years. I am now college hottie, wearing next to nothing at a Hootie and the Blow fish concert.I was July, hot as hell , at an outdoor concert. I am wearing short shorts, a tiny top, and the highest platform sandals imaginable. Long story short. I had been consuming a lot of beverages in the heat. I had to hit the ladies room. Of course they are playing “let her Cry”( or whatever the hell the name of that uber popular Hootie song was), they have the spotlight on the crowd. As I am tiptoeing my way down the hill (yes, it was an outdoor concert on a hill) trying not to pee myself, all the while still trying to look really cute while the spotlight is circling and I just know Hootie sees me:) I am not clear on what happened next but I do know that some how , in the spotlight no less, I fell head over feet. I know Hootie saw me because….he chuckled! Oh Lord, at least I didn’t pee on myself..or spill my drink. SO there you have, 2 very embarrassing moments in my life.
    Here is the fun part… I get to tag at least three people to pick up this award and run with it.
    ~J @ https://boobiesbabiesblog.blogspot.com/
    Nikki @https://westbrockblog.blogspot.com/
    Angelica @https://funwithbella.blogspot.com/
    Ms. S @ https://thedailymommynews.blogspot.com/

  • Back-to-School ~Stop that Train, I Want to Get Off

    Back-to-School ~Stop that Train, I Want to Get Off

    back-to-school, school, kindergartenIt’s back-to-school already! My girls start back to school in a couple days and I am decidedly simultaneously ecstatic and sad about back-to-school. Last year, my baby entered kindergarten and while trepedatious I was completely ecstatic to have the day to myself for the first time in 7 years. Then on the first day of school, I was promptly grief stricken. Alone. Crying because I was alone. What the hell was wrong with me? My baby was gaining independence at lightening speed and her childhood was a runaway train. Stop.that.train!

    I should have been dancing around the house in my undies, playing air guitar and celebrating my hard earned freedom. Instead, I sat on my couch looking out the window sobbing at my computer, counting the minutes until my babies were back in my arms; the very place from which I was pushing them out the door that morning. The duplicitous of motherhood; it’s enough to make you crazy.

    This year is different. I know they are both going to school. I know they both love it and I know their teachers. There is nothing scary about this year. Only the summer went by way too fast and now, I am regretting all the lost moments that I should have spent enjoying my children instead of swatting them away and shooing them into another room so that I could complete my work. It sucked. I sucked and I have the guilt to prove it.

    This summer did serve one purpose though, it has taught me to appreciate the moments and to know that next summer, work will have to wait. My girls will always come first. You know the nature of my business is to be a mommy. I write about being a mom in all of it’s many facets. So, when I am doing a shitty job of it; being a mom, not writing about being a mom, it makes me feel like a fraud because in the end, I want to be great mom not a great writer writing about being a mom. So, this summer has taught me some things.  The most important being that childhood is fleeting and the older my girls get, the faster the summers go.

    back-to-school, school, kids growing up

    It’s like life is this crazy carnival ride we are on together and it just keeps speeding up. It goes by so fast some times that I feel like I just might get sick. Wasn’t it just year that my daughters were born? Wasn’t it just a few months ago that they learned to talk and walk and say “ I Love you”? Where did the time go?

    My oldest is 8 and almost as tall as I am. She is becoming such a beautiful and amazing young lady; full of personality and wit. She’s thoughtful and caring and I see sincerity and loyalty in her eyes. Her thoughts and opinions are no longer something I told her, she is forming her own beliefs. I can still see the cherubesque little face I once held in my arms as she looked up at me like I was her everything but it is evolving into the woman she will someday be and it will be here before you know it.

    My 6-year-old is funny, silly, beautiful and charming. Her passion and fierce convictions about life teeter on scaring me at times. She has been and will always be an ask permission later kind of child. She’s still small enough to cuddle up into my lap and she loves to cuddle with me at night. I should be forcing her to sleep in her bed alone but, my God, in no time she will not need or want me to cuddle her to sleep. So, I take it all in sucking every bit of marrow out of their childhood. I want to linger awhile and watch them sleep, listen to them speak and truly hear what they are saying.

    School starts back on Wednesday and I am going to make today and tomorrow count because once these last days of summer vacation are gone, they are gone forever. Moments in life cannot be DVRed and rewound, they have to be lived while they are happening or they are lost forever.  Stop. This. Train. I want to get off.

    back-to-school, school, kids growing up

    What are you going to miss the most when your children go back to school?

  • Back to School Shopping Made Easy with the HP Envy x360 Laptop

    Back to School Shopping Made Easy with the HP Envy x360 Laptop

    Disclosure: I have been compensated in the form of a Best Buy Gift Card but all opinions about back to school shopping and the HP Envy x360 Laptop.

    Can you believe it’s almost time for back-to-school already? Here, we have less than 2 weeks left to soak up the last bits of summer. However, thanks to the back-to-school supply list in hand, I’ve painfully aware that school is happening sooner than later. Enter the HP Envy x360 Laptop.

    The thing is every year we’re provided with this basic list of things our children need and then we use our best judgment and our budget to decide what we do with that list. For example, if it says 20 pencils, do you buy 20 generic #2 pencils or do you let your child express themselves by picking out 20 pencils with designs of their choosing? It’s these little touches that change everything.

    Our family is pretty tech savvy. The Big Guy works in IT and I live in tech. These things trickle down. The girls have been surrounded by the latest high tech gadgets their entire lives. We limit their usage but they have high expectations so our tech can’t be basic. It needs to be better than that.

    READ ALSO: Must-Have Gadgets for Tech Savvy Parents

    As the girls get older, their tech needs to have more capabilities. Being the children of tech-savvy parents, they’ve got different standards. My girls do more than just play games and do homework on their laptops.

    They’re into coding and building. The girls have a blog, YouTube channel and other social channels. These kids are trying to build a brand. That means editing videos and photos. Yes, they do still play games and watch Netflix on their laptops too. On top of all of this, they are still children so I need a laptop that is durable and capable of being a good fit for the user.

    HP Envy x360 Laptop, back to school, tech, best buy, back to school supplies

    I’ve been considering upgrading my 13-year-old’s laptop, a back to school contender is the HP Envy x360 Laptop.

    Here are some of the features and customer benefits of the HP Envy x360 Laptops

    Windows 10 operating system

    Windows 10 brings back the Start Menu from Windows 7 and introduces new features, like the Edge Web browser that lets you markup Web pages on your screen. This is a great feature for taking notes when reading or studying for exams.

    HP Envy x360 Laptop, back to school, tech, best buy, back to school supplies

    Built for Windows Ink

    Quickly jot down notes and ideas with ease. My daughters are very much like me in that they get ideas and they need to jot them down immediately before they forget. When inspiration strikes you will always be ready.

    Full HD touchscreen

    The 1920 x 1080 resolution boasts impressive color and clarity. Natural finger-touch navigation makes the most of Windows 10. IPS technology for wide viewing angles. Energy-efficient WLED backlight. This is so nice for my girls. They are very tactile and they are so comfortable with touchscreen usage from their phones.

    8GB system memory for advanced multitasking

    Substantial high-bandwidth RAM to smoothly run your games and photo- and video-editing applications, as well as multiple programs and browser tabs all at once. Perfect for those of us who keep a minimum of 13 tabs open at all times.

    HP Envy x360 Laptop, back to school, tech, best buy, back to school supplies

    360° flip-and-fold design

    Offers versatile functionality with laptop, audience, tabletop, presentation and tablet modes. This is one of my favorite features of the HP Envy x360. I feel like this versatility makes it easy to use anywhere and virtually indestructible, at least much less destructible.

    READ ALSO: Back to School Made Easy for Parents

    The HP Envy x360 comes with either a 15-inch screen or a 13-inch screen so you have your choice for whatever screen works best for your family and the AMD processors make them fast and thin so you can take them with you anywhere you go!

    ***Bonus: there is a back to school offer to save $100 on the HP Envy x360 until 7/28.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Back-to-School ~ Diary of a Recovering Helicopter Mom

    Back-to-School ~ Diary of a Recovering Helicopter Mom

    Back-to-school school is upon us.

    Yesterday morning, I took my girls back-to-school. I know that I should be rejoicing. I thought I might be. This summer has been very busy and trying but instead, I was sad. Sad that another summer is gone and there are so few left before they go off to college. When they are babies and toddlers, each day feels like 72 hours but these years now pass more quickly than I prefer.

    The girls are growing up so fast. They are no longer the two little mop top toddlers who I chased with a brush while putting pigtails into their hair. They no longer mismatch their clothes or put shoes on wrong feet. No they are up before me every morning, dressed and waiting for me to curl or straighten their hair while they change earrings and strategically place rainbow loom bracelets up their arms. Suddenly, there are lockers and acceptable and unacceptable types of belts and socks.

    They both got back-to-school haircuts and all I can think is where did my children go? I am so proud of the young ladies they are becoming but pump the brakes. I’m still the mom of single digit children, for one more year anyways. I can’t believe I’ve been a mom for almost a decade already. I really am trying to be “cool” and give them space to spread their budding wings but they are still my baby birds and when I see panic, pain or fear it’s my instinct to swoop in and make it all better.

    The girls are now 9 and 7, so we don’t have to worry about the dreaded first day of preschool and kindergarten. Those days nearly broke my mommy heart in half. Again this morning, moms were dropping like flies in the kindergarten corridor; collapsing into pools of snot and tears just outside of the doorways. I kept a stiff upper lip and pushed their limp bodies aside as I took my girls to the more “dignified” end of the hallway to second grade. Not really, by second grade we’ve just learned to wear huge sunglasses and wait until we are safely back in the car before we have our breakdown.

    Back-to-school, first day of school, kids growing up, letting go

    My 4th grader, while she still wants me to walk her to class, under the guise of being her Clorox wipe and paper towel pack mule, gives me a hug and dismisses me in front of everyone. She has always been the stiff upper lip kid, since preschool. She’ll get watery eyes and a bit of a lip quiver and then she will give me that hug, you know the one that needs to last both of us the entire day, and then she will send me off. Even if she wants to run off after me crying for me to take her home, she will not make waves. She will make do. She gets that from me. It’s awesome, except for when I wish she’d just let go and not stiff upper lip it. I want her to know that she doesn’t always have to be the stoic one and that’s what I am here for; her safe place to land, to carry her when she is too weary to walk and to always, always hold her hand.

     

    My 2nd grader however, well, she is a rage against the night, do not go gently, make waves, cry and freak out type. She knows how to make a mama feel needed but she is also my high maintenance, squeaky wheel. This morning, she tried a bit of stiff upper lip on for size. I don’t think it suited her because just before I walked her into her class, she said, “ Mama, my stomach hurts.” This is her go to ailment whenever she is afraid or nervous. While I was unloading her supplies (pack mule) I asked the teacher where to put the supplies. When he answered that the kids were supposed to read the board and follow the directions, I saw the panic and freak strike the heart of my youngest baby bird. She reads but she’s not a “great” reader yet and there were a lot of unrecognizable words on that board so I explained the instructions to her and helped her to put her little heart at ease. I could see that she wanted to cry but instead she unsurely said, “Okay, mommy.”

     

    It was time to leave. I could feel her willing me to stay. I could feel my heart being tugged back in her direction. I hugged her and she reciprocated tightly. I assured her that she would be fine and that it was going to be an awesome first day; all while willing those damn watery eyes of my own to stay behind the sunglasses and not reveal themselves to my girl. She gave me a big kiss and whispered, “Mommy, I’m scared!” I looked her in the eye and told her that there was nothing to be afraid of and that I was only a phone call away and more importantly, that I loved her. That seemed to put her at ease and then I left, as she stared a hole into the back of my head; turning back to catch one last unsure smile.  Then I walked out of the room.

     

    2 minutes later, I walked back to the doorway to see if she was okay. She was sharpening pencils when she caught a glimpse of me. She ran to me and gave me a kiss and told me she loved me. This time much more enthusiastically. I told her, “See, if you need me, I’m only a phone call away!” And she smiled and dismissed me.

     

    I left my second grader in her new class and before I even left the school building, my heart was heavy with all the feelings; the missing, the growing up and the letting go. I freaking hate the letting go.

     

    Apparently, back-to-school never gets easier but does the letting go?

  • Orkut an Example of Why Small Dreams Always End in Failure

    Orkut an Example of Why Small Dreams Always End in Failure

    Orkut is a now-defunct social networking site, that started out as a place to find and reconnect with old schoolmates. Think of it as Google’s version of Linkedin and Classmates.com having a baby social networking site. Orkut was named after its creator, Orkut Büyükkökten, launched in 2004 and shut down in 2014 and proved to be extremely popular in Brazil, so much so, that 90% of its page view was from users in Brazil. With all the makings of success,  Orkut is a lesson in why small dreams end in failure. Just like in life, in all things, we need to dream bigger and evolve to meet the changing world.

    READ ALSO: How Warby Parker CoVid Proofed their Business

    But what is Orkut? Just like all the other social networking sites you are used to now, Orkut’s original purpose for existing was so that users could find like-minded people who shared similar interests and communities via keyword search, descriptions and other users. Orkut came to fruition at the same time as industry giants Facebook and LinkedIn and before Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest were ever even thought of.

    Orkut was ahead of its time.

    It grew quickly, within the first four months, Orkut had over 50,000 communities. The whole premise and strategy for the success of Orkut were built on users wanting to connect and reconnect with friends, classmates, and acquaintances from school, work and neighborhood groups. On this fact alone, Orkut garnered 20 million users by 2012. In the time it existed, we learned a lot about using social networking sites for marketing.

    The community structure of Orkut (like more modern-day social networking sites) spoke to the changing role of the digital consumer because it gave consumers a place to interact and engage in communities with like-minded individuals, often of the same demographic, eager to connect and interact. Presenting the right products and services to these people would be beneficial and less commercially than traditional marketing structures.

    READ ALSO: Why WeChat is a Super App

    Why would consumers be more interested in participating with these messages rather than a diffusion strategy because it feels more organic for the consumer? When social networking ads target consumers by their preferences by what they like, those promotions feel more like word of mouth recommendations from a friend versus an advertisement pushed on a consumer. It’s less intrusive and more welcomed.

    As a networking site, Orkut was very popular with the more tech-savvy students and workers in those industries; something for the CES and Silicon Valley crowd. It was great for connecting and engaging with friends, as well as, leaders in the industry and mentors. Many people were eager to be a part of the Orkut community as much because of its prestigious, invite-only membership as its affiliation to Google.

    Belonging to Orkut held a lot clout as it inferred that members were highly connected in the technology field.

    The site itself was clean, simple and sophisticated for a networking site at the time. It was also easy to use, navigate and join communities. Friends were able to rate each other on how sexy, cool and trustworthy they found each other. This was a predecessor to today’s modern-day likes system.

    Okrut, social networking sites, Digital marketing, social media marketing

    Orkut also allowed users to make recommendations about products and services like YELP, allowing members to point fellow members in the right direction based on experiences. This was part of its charm for Brazilians.

    Why Orkut was such a hit with the Brazilians:

    • Brazilians do a lot of online shopping with one of the strongest markets for online retailers. They’ll soon reach the potential the USA online market has, which is growing day by day thanks to all those sales and discounts on websites like Raise consumers have access to.
    • They also happen to love social media.
    • Outdoor marketing isn’t allowed in Brazil, so you won’t be bombarded by billboards. However, it has made online marketing lucrative and effective.
    • In Brazil, 77% of Brazilian social media users like to shop online, most of them use social networking sites like Orkut to research products and of those, they are more likely to trust recommendations from someone they know online.
    • In Brazil, online marketing is not an option, it is the way to be successful. It’s about more than just existing online they need to actively engage via blogging, social gaming and online video that required in marketing campaigns. Online video is King and Okrut could have done a better job with the video.

    Orkut proves that as technology evolves so must digital platforms to meet the needs of the user.

    In the end, functionality problems killed the social networking site. Orkut had issues with its website, including blockages, limiting the number of friends and difficulties in loading and sharing photos. Once Orkut stopped meeting the needs of the culture and audiences they served, they became irrelevant and lost consumers. Eventually, they were replaced by newer sites. In the end, Orkut had all the makings of a successful networking site, however, it didn’t have a plan to evolve to meet user’s needs or the fortitude to push and grow beyond the original vision. Orkut simply got left behind by refusing to change.

    Were you familiar with Orkut? What is currently your favorite social networking site? Why or why not?

  • Why You Must Vote like Your Life Depends on It

    Why You Must Vote like Your Life Depends on It

    I am completely befuddled at what is happening in America right now. How can we live in a country where our own common sense and intelligence is pushed aside to listen to what a politician says? Never mind, science and medicine. People are literally dying while we fight over semantics. Fun fact: Coronavirus is real and it doesn’t care if you’re a Democrat or Republican. This is why you must vote like your life depends on it.

    As Americans, as human beings, why can’t we all get on the same page and agree that human life is more important than who’s a democrat and who’s a republican? Political parties are supposed to be chosen based upon the candidate whose political ideologies align closest to our own. Everyone has the right to choose for themselves who that is. But somethings are bigger than that, like human life.

    Vote like your life depends on it

    When I see someone in need, I help them. I don’t ask for credentials first. If someone is desperately in need of help, I don’t care what race, religion, sexual orientation or political party they belong to because that is extraneous information. None of that is relevant when I’m deciding whether or not to help someone in need. So why can’t we all agree that this pandemic needs to be controlled? More importantly, why can’t we all do our small part to stop the spread?

    Coronavirus is real. We know this. It has killed 231,000 Americans to date. That’s not a hoax, that’s facts. Just ask the relatives of those who’ve lost their loved ones.

    231,000 mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, sons and daughters of America dead.

    All that is being asked of us, as conscientious Americans, is to social distance, wear masks when in public, stay home when sick and use common sense and yet, some still refuse. People have actually become combative to the point of protesting and refusing to comply with mask mandates. I’ve seen people not only refuse to wear masks but purposely cough at other people. Coronavirus is becoming a weapon of the willfully ignorant. People are brutally fighting and even murdering others over a mask.

    READ ALSO: Why I Risked My Life to Vote

    I get it, the President of the United States (who has access to the world’s best healthcare and an unlimited budget to get round the clock, top of the line treatment) said it wasn’t too bad. He even said, “Don’t be afraid of CoVid. Don’t let it dominate your life.” I’m glad he didn’t die. I’m happy it wasn’t too bad for him but even if I can accept that, you need to accept the fact that I have several friends who are now CoVid long haulers and I’ve lost family members. Either he’s extremely lucky, extremely well cared for or maybe just completely full of shit. His behavior is not only irresponsible but dangerous to all Americans. What exactly is the point of this continuous gaslighting of the American people?

    Coronavirus isn’t a Democratic hoax. These people aren’t coming back after the election. They haven’t been sequestered on some remote tropical island virus and I’m pretty confident they haven’t gone into the Democratic party’s super-secret Coronavirus witness protection program. They are dead forever. There’s no reset button for them. Of course, they also didn’t have the same kind of treatment available to them as the president because they are regular people, like you and I.

    READ ALSO: The Consequence of believing your vote doesn’t count.

    Everything is opening back up, just in time for the election which happens to coincide with cold and flu season. Hospitals are full and overcapacity here in Indiana, yet, our mask mandate is scheduled to ends in a couple of weeks. Our high school is in Mode 2 but, when the quarter ends and the mask mandate ends, the plan is for the students to come back fully in person, Mode 1. The cases are constantly rising as are the number of kids quarantined at the school, but hey, let’s do like our president and let’s go against common sense, science and modern medicine and just do what the fuck we want to do.

    I am at the point that I’m feeling like maybe I’m having some sort of mental break because how can this many people be this fucking ignorant? How can they believe a politician with an agenda over their own fucking eyeballs? It would be comical if it weren’t so frightening.

    Vote like your life depends on it because it does. Either way, your way of life is about to change.

    I’m a Democrat. I used to be a Republican (when I was in college). I’m also a devout Roman Catholic. My educational background is in political science, history, criminology and sociology. I learned about the branches of government, procedure and law. My politics and my religion may not always be on the same page 100% but you have to weigh the consequences of the many over the benefits of the few. That is free will and I believe that my God gave me free will, intelligence and the capacity to love all people.

    READ ALSO: What Every Mom Needs to Know about Coronavirus

    My lifetime of religious studies has taught me to never judge others and to show compassion, empathy and love to others. I’m supposed to do for others as I would want them to do unto me and I know that no one human is of more value than any other so it is my social responsibility and Christian duty to do my part to put good into the world not spread hate and incite fear-mongering. I believe in truth and honesty.

    Let’s say you really, truly, believe that Coronavirus is not a threat and maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones who it doesn’t affect long-term or kill. Fine, you are entitled to your beliefs but why can’t you still wear a mask, just in case, if it makes others feel safe.

    If you believe Coronavirus is real but you don’t like wearing a mask, surprise, none of us do but if you could save a life by wearing one, why wouldn’t you? You think it’s your “right” not to wear one, it’s not. Nowhere in the Constitution or the bible does it say you have the right to not wear a mask and intentionally (and maliciously) put others at risk. If we could all adhere to common sense and logic, listen to science and wear the masks, all of this could be controlled and we could go back to a more normal existence.

    Right now, I feel like a prisoner in my own house because I have an underlying condition and I can’t count on everyone to do their part to keep me safe even though I do mine. More importantly, I have a president who is gaslighting those of us following the science. I feel like I’m living in an alternate reality.

    I’m not here to push a candidate down your throat. All I ask, in any election but especially in this one, is that you please use your own judgment, common sense and intelligence. Your vote is more important than it has ever been.

    Vote like your life depends on it because it does and so does your kids’.

  • Nobody Tells You What to Do When Your Dog Dies

    Nobody Tells You What to Do When Your Dog Dies

    Estimated reading time: 10 minutes

    May has been hell, to say the least and there’s still a few days left. It started on May 1st and only 5 days later, it went from bad to worse. Our dog died. Yep, it sucked even more than you can probably imagine. I’ve lost pets before but out Lola, she hit different because she was the first dog the four of us got together. Not to mention she came into our lives at a crucial time.

    My parents never warned me that the price of getting to really and completely love someone or something is unfathomable heartbreak you have to endure when they are no longer here. That’s a shitty lesson that I’ve had to learn all on my own over the years.

    I’ve lost people and I’ve lost pets but what we’re going through right now feels heavier and more devastating than almost anything I’ve ever experienced previous. This one, it hit different. On Saturday, May 6th, we lost our beloved Lola. It was more than just losing a pet, she was a decade of our lives. She was my children’s childhood. She was glue and we absolutely adored everything about her and every second we got to spend with her.

    Lola, Nobody tells you what to do when your dog dies

    Like a furry little angel, Lola came to us when we needed her most. 2012 was a really hard year for our family. It was marked by transition and loss. We relocated and left behind all of our friends in South Bend and that spring we lost our third baby and a couple months later, our beloved Saffaron (Brindle boxer, our first fur baby) who we adopted right after we were married. As a family, we were devastated and feeling a huge void from two great losses. It felt as if there was no way we could weather the storm of our life.

    But on December 14, 2012, we met Lola. The most beautiful, sweet, kind, caring, funny, loving and quirky Victorian Bulldog. It was love at first sight. She even came to us on a day when our hearts were filled with sadness and she made us smile through our tears. That is what our Lola did. She was redemption and hope all wrapped up in fur and a big pink bow.

    Lola, Nobody tells you what to do when your dog dies

    All of us loved her just as much as we would any child in our family. I know some of you are scoffing at the fact that I just compared my dog to your child but it’s the truth. I’ve had dogs and I’ve had human children and Lola was closer to human than not. All the love we had to give, to our Saff and our third baby, was poured into our Lola and she reciprocated every single bit of it. If you were sad, she would sense it and come sit by you, snuggle in and fill you up without fail. If anything, we loved her too much and now, the hole is too deep to fill. There will never be another Lola.

    Lola, Nobody tells you what to do when your dog dies

    In 2015, when I broke my leg, shattering bones and dislocating ankles, and could not walk for 3 months, Lola was my constant companion. She never left my side. At a time when I felt my most depressed and vulnerable, she was there for me. She was dedicated and loyal to the very end. On her last day, I returned the favor and she died in my arms.

    Lola, Nobody tells you what to do when your dog dies

    She’d been sick for months. Late last summer, she was diagnosed with Cushing’s disease right before her 10th birthday. She would have been 11 this upcoming September 6th. She had suddenly started gaining a lot of weight and was very thirsty. We thought maybe she was diabetic. But a series of blood tests determined that it was Cushings.

    Lola, Nobody tells you what to do when your dog dies

    We didn’t know much about the disease other than it was an overproduction of cortisol. We followed the doctor’s orders and gave her the medication they prescribed and hoped to prolong her quality of life for as long as we could. However, soon instead of being overweight she was severely underweight. She lost almost 20 pounds in just a few months and looked emaciated despite the fact that we were taking her in every 2-3 months for level checks and giving her medication daily for the disease.

    Lola, Nobody tells you what to do when your dog dies

    At some point the medication overworked and our Lola had no cortisol. She became weak and would hardly eat. Some, most, days I had to sit on the floor and hold her while I hand fed her chicken, fruit, pumpkin and water. I didn’t care, as long as she wasn’t in pain, this was the least I could do. The vet said she wasn’t but we could see and feel her declining. I won’t go into all the details because this wound is still too fresh and I may never stop sobbing if I go down that path.

    Lola, Nobody tells you what to do when your dog dies

    Long story short, no matter how much you expect it or reconcile yourself to the fact that someone or something you love is dying, when the time comes, it is excruciatingly painful. No amount of preparedness can ready your heart for the monumentally gaping hole that will be left by losing someone you love. Yes, even a dog.

    Honestly, losing our Lola may have been more painful than some of the human losses we’ve recently suffered. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to demean any loss. I am only saying that our Lola was more than a dog to our family. She was a sister, a daughter and a friend and she is irreplaceable in our hearts. I spent almost every day of the last 11 years with her at my side, at my feet and in my arms.

    Lola, Nobody tells you what to do when your dog dies

    On morning that she left us, she woke up and could not steady herself. When she went outside to potty, she vomited. She never vomits. Weakly, she continued to stumble around the yard like a wobbly newborn calf and I knew something wasn’t right. She headed toward me and locked her eyes on mine. Something wasn’t right. As I was holding her, she relieved herself all over me and went limp. My heart broke, I thought she’d died.

    Then, she moved. I cleaned myself up as the Big Guy and the girls cleaned up Lola. In my heart, I knew, that this was our last day with our sweet Lola. I was terrified but on the other hand I was ready to help her peacefully transition. She’s been sick for almost a year and, as much as we wanted her here with us, we could not bear to watch her suffer. I promised myself that when the time came, I would sit with her in our favorite chair and hold her until the end.

    We all surrounded her and loved on her. Through our sobs we held her and told her we loved her and how good she was. We could not change the inevitable but we knew we could give her a peaceful and loving goodbye, no matter how much it broke our hearts. It’s the least she deserved after being our faithful and loving companion for the past decade. I administered one of her pain pills just to make sure she was comfortable.

    I sat in the big brown, leather, oversized recliner (where the two of us sat together countless times over the years) and I put her in my lap, wrapped in her favorite blanket (she was rail thin and always cold lately), she placed her tiny head on my heart and she slept there for hours. Only rousing ever so often to gently raise her head and look at me and then drift back off to sleep much like a milk drunk newborn.

    Later in the day, her breathing became labored and shallow. She was no longer conscious and was no longer lifting her head. I placed my hand on her tiny heart and I could feel it racing beneath my hand like a thousand wild mustangs running across the plains. And then suddenly, it slowed down to what felt like 1 lone baby mustang and then it felt as if she disappeared right beneath my fingers.

    Her heart was beating so faintly beneath my fingertips that it was almost undetectable. But still, she was very faintly breathing. We couldn’t take it anymore. I’d spent the entire day holding her so that she could pass peacefully in my arms but even when it’s what’s best for the one dying, it is almost impossible to survive for the loved ones watching them fade away. We decided to rush her to the emergency room. Not to be saved but just to make sure that she didn’t linger in between life and death.

    We walked into the emergency room sobbing, holding the limp, seemingly lifeless body of our beloved and loyal Lola knowing that this was the last time we would ever see or hug her again. Knowing that this was the last time that we would ever get to rub her neck or kiss her forehead, knowing all of our days with her, were behind us now. We were there when she took her final breath, loving her until the very end. Ushering her to the other side with an abundance of gratitude and love.

    We cried all day that Saturday. We’re still crying today, 3 weeks later. I feel like we might cry forever over our Lola. It was one of the worst things we’ve gone through recently. This morning I woke up and saw that my husband had emptied her food bowl (probably to prevent me from having to do it) and I started sobbing. Last night, I slept restlessly. I woke up reaching out for her. My heart can’t get used to her little head not being on the pillow next to mine. I see her in her bed, in the corners, under the chairs and couches, around every corner. I’ve cried for days over this loss. I don’t know how we’ll ever return to normal after losing the tiny angel who saved my family from more loss than our hearts could handle in 2012.

    Lola we’ll love you forever. You are, were and will always be the best girl, our sweet Floki Moki.