The TRUTH About Motherhood

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Orkut an Example of Why Small Dreams Always End in Failure
Orkut is a now-defunct social networking site, that started out as a place to find and reconnect with old schoolmates. Think of it as Google’s version of Linkedin and Classmates.com having a baby social networking site. Orkut was named after its creator, Orkut Büyükkökten, launched in 2004 and shut down in 2014 and proved to be extremely popular in Brazil, so much so, that 90% of its page view was from users in Brazil. With all the makings of success, Orkut is a lesson in why small dreams end in failure. Just like in life, in all things, we need to dream bigger and evolve to meet the changing world.
READ ALSO: How Warby Parker CoVid Proofed their Business
But what is Orkut? Just like all the other social networking sites you are used to now, Orkut’s original purpose for existing was so that users could find like-minded people who shared similar interests and communities via keyword search, descriptions and other users. Orkut came to fruition at the same time as industry giants Facebook and LinkedIn and before Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest were ever even thought of.
Orkut was ahead of its time.
It grew quickly, within the first four months, Orkut had over 50,000 communities. The whole premise and strategy for the success of Orkut were built on users wanting to connect and reconnect with friends, classmates, and acquaintances from school, work and neighborhood groups. On this fact alone, Orkut garnered 20 million users by 2012. In the time it existed, we learned a lot about using social networking sites for marketing.
The community structure of Orkut (like more modern-day social networking sites) spoke to the changing role of the digital consumer because it gave consumers a place to interact and engage in communities with like-minded individuals, often of the same demographic, eager to connect and interact. Presenting the right products and services to these people would be beneficial and less commercially than traditional marketing structures.
READ ALSO: Why WeChat is a Super App
Why would consumers be more interested in participating with these messages rather than a diffusion strategy because it feels more organic for the consumer? When social networking ads target consumers by their preferences by what they like, those promotions feel more like word of mouth recommendations from a friend versus an advertisement pushed on a consumer. It’s less intrusive and more welcomed.
As a networking site, Orkut was very popular with the more tech-savvy students and workers in those industries; something for the CES and Silicon Valley crowd. It was great for connecting and engaging with friends, as well as, leaders in the industry and mentors. Many people were eager to be a part of the Orkut community as much because of its prestigious, invite-only membership as its affiliation to Google.
Belonging to Orkut held a lot clout as it inferred that members were highly connected in the technology field.
The site itself was clean, simple and sophisticated for a networking site at the time. It was also easy to use, navigate and join communities. Friends were able to rate each other on how sexy, cool and trustworthy they found each other. This was a predecessor to today’s modern-day likes system.
Orkut also allowed users to make recommendations about products and services like YELP, allowing members to point fellow members in the right direction based on experiences. This was part of its charm for Brazilians.
Why Orkut was such a hit with the Brazilians:
- Brazilians do a lot of online shopping with one of the strongest markets for online retailers. They’ll soon reach the potential the USA online market has, which is growing day by day thanks to all those sales and discounts on websites like Raise consumers have access to.
- They also happen to love social media.
- Outdoor marketing isn’t allowed in Brazil, so you won’t be bombarded by billboards. However, it has made online marketing lucrative and effective.
- In Brazil, 77% of Brazilian social media users like to shop online, most of them use social networking sites like Orkut to research products and of those, they are more likely to trust recommendations from someone they know online.
- In Brazil, online marketing is not an option, it is the way to be successful. It’s about more than just existing online they need to actively engage via blogging, social gaming and online video that required in marketing campaigns. Online video is King and Okrut could have done a better job with the video.
Orkut proves that as technology evolves so must digital platforms to meet the needs of the user.
In the end, functionality problems killed the social networking site. Orkut had issues with its website, including blockages, limiting the number of friends and difficulties in loading and sharing photos. Once Orkut stopped meeting the needs of the culture and audiences they served, they became irrelevant and lost consumers. Eventually, they were replaced by newer sites. In the end, Orkut had all the makings of a successful networking site, however, it didn’t have a plan to evolve to meet user’s needs or the fortitude to push and grow beyond the original vision. Orkut simply got left behind by refusing to change.
Were you familiar with Orkut? What is currently your favorite social networking site? Why or why not?
2020/11/08
Holiday Recipes with a Healthy Twist
Disclosure: This is a compensated campaign in collaboration with National Dairy Council Fuel Up To Play 60 en español and Latina Bloggers Connect but all opinions on healthy holiday recipes are my own.
The holidays are here and everyone knows that the time between Halloween and New Year's day is all about celebrating, which means it's all about eating and drinking. We look forward to traditional family favorites like candy at Halloween, turkey at Thanksgiving, Tamales, Bunuelos and Rompope at Christmas and, of course, all the decadence and cocktails that New Year's Eve brings with it. It's the most delicious time of the year and also can be unhealthy but it doesn't have to be if you make those holiday recipes healthy. My theory is everything in moderation. If you are craving something and you completely ignore your body's craving, you will be left feeling unsatisfied and frustrated. But what if your body is craving 7 cocktails, a heaping helping of pumpkin pie with more than a dollop of whipping cream and tamales x4? Then what? Firstly portion control is a big part of staying healthy during the holidays. So why not use some of the tools provided by Fuel Up to Play 60 like Supertracker, which allows you to track your food and physical activity while setting goals and having access to the nutritional values of the food as well as target portion sizes. There is also the option of taking your favorite holiday dishes and drinks and making them healthier by swapping out less healthy ingredients for healthier options. For example, swapping out full fat cheeses for low fat cheeses, swapping out red meat for chicken or pork or instead of drinking 3 glasses of eggnog, limit yourself to one. Fuel Up to Play 60 and their new website (FuelUpToPlay60.com) is designed to help Latino students and their families to be active and make healthier dietary choices by providing relevant resources.
It will help you make your holiday recipes more healthy.
Fuel Up to Play 60 en Español aims to help Spanish-speaking students (and their families) create positive changes that increase opportunities for more active lifestyles. Parental diets and family physical activity habits often have an impact on children's lifestyles. Through take-home materials and opportunities for family involvement, Fuel Up to Play 60 goes beyond the classroom and into the community and homes of students to achieve the most effective results. If you're looking for a great holiday gift for the foodie with a nutritional conscience in your life, The Dairy Good Cookbook is a great option. It's full of delicious recipes and beautiful photography. Milk, cheese and yogurt not only taste great, but also are nutrient-rich, affordable, readily available and versatile; making dairy foods realistic options to help people build healthier meal plans. The book features more than 100 recipes that showcase the unique tastes and versatility of dairy – from cheese and yogurt to milk and butter. The book celebrates the nation's more than 47,000 dairy farm families and their commitment to their land, animals, commitment to community and their love of family. The Dairy Good Cookbook is available wherever books and ebooks are sold and retails for $25.00.
How do you keep your holiday recipes healthy?
2015/12/07
This Blogger’s Life … Jill Smokler
In celebration of my 5th year of blogging, I have decided to start a weekly series called This Blogger’s life.. featuring one amazing blogger each Friday. I will always ask the same 15 questions to all the bloggers.For my inaugural post I am interviewing my amazing friend and fellow blogger, Jill Smokler ( the force behind ScaryMommy.com).
This is how it will work, every Friday ( same bat time, same bat blog) I will be interviewing one of the many amazing women ( or men) on the internet. Those who inspire me, mentor me and even some of those bright new up and coming bloggers. The blogging world feels so small sometimes because we share some of the most intimate moments with one another; marriage, pregnancy, birth, labor, raising children, divorce, sex, fashion, travel, food and everything in-between. It’s the greatest tribe I’ve ever had.
I love conferences because it’s a giant hug fest amongst some of the women that know me best but there just never seems like enough time to hang out; to talk. So, I decided why not interview some of these amazing people, who I am proud and lucky to call my friends. So without further ado, I give you the inaugural
This Blogger’s Life…Jill Smokler aka Scary Mommy.
Why did you start blogging? March of 2008, I was home with three little kids and desperate for a hobby of my own. A friend started a blog and, on whim, I figured I’d try one, too. Never, ever thought it would last past a month or two.

What’s one piece of advice that you would give to a new blogger? To have fun; blogging starts as a hobby – very few people make decent money from it and those who do, certainly don’t immediately. If it’s feeling like a job or a burden, you’re missing the point.

What are the three words that describe you best? Stubborn, passionate, driven

What is your favorite website? My own. I mean, it better be, right?

What is your favorite thing to do when you’re not blogging? Walking on the beach with my kids, looking for shells. That’s my happy place.

What’s the most important thing you’ve learned about yourself from blogging? That my path in life is really up to me.

How do you balance life and blogging? Not very well, unfortunately. Since the time the site became my sole income, I’ve constantly been searching for that happy balance, but still don’t think I’ve found it. As a side hobby, it was easy, but as a job, never. I’m not sure you can ever truly balance life with work you’re passionate about, though – something always suffers.

How has blogging changed you or your life? Pretty early on, I realized that blogging could be the vehicle that allowed me to do something I enjoyed from home and not have to go back to an office job. I’m thankful every single day that it has allowed me that. The lifestyle isn’t easy, and I’m always working, but I’m working for me, doing something I love and I can still be the one to pick the kids up from school every day. None of that would have been possible without the blog.

What do you think makes a successful blog? A great blog? Are they one in the same? I think a great and successful blog is one that serves its purpose — if you set out to entertain your friends and family and do that, you’ve succeeded. If you want some fun freebies and perks and you get them, you’ve done it. If you want a record of your days with your kids, that’s a pretty awesome gift to give them. I think there are a million ways to have a successful blog, it just depends on how you define success.

If you were to stop blogging today, what would you do with the rest of your life? I can’t even imagine! Seriously. I’m stumped.

How do you balance telling your story, without telling the story of others in your life? The older my kids have gotten, the less I write about them for that very reason — their stories aren’t mine to share. It’s a tough road to navigate, though, and I’ve definitely learned the hard way that most people don’t appreciate being blog fodder.

Blogging has changed a lot, just since I started 5 years ago, what do you miss about blogging in the early days? What do you love that has changed? I miss the intimacy, I miss having time to visit all the blogs I care about and I miss the focus being on quality content rather than virality; sites like BuzzFeed and ViralNova drive me crazy. I do love that there’s much more acceptance of less than perfect sites than there used to be. It’s no longer taboo to admit not loving every second of motherhood and that’s definitely a win.

How do you consistently come up with relevant and shareable content? I’m lucky to have people send me content, because I certainly couldn’t do it alone!

If you could have a dinner party for 6 people, living or dead, who would you invite? Erma Bombeck, Hilary Clinton, Tina Fey, my grandmother, Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs. Hello, random dinner party.

What’s the one thing that people would be surprised to learn about you? Years ago, I was offered a job to work at Martha Stewart Living – kind of the anti-Scary Mommy workplace.

What’s the one post that you are most proud of? Probably this one – It was the most raw I’ve ever felt, and I still sometimes go back and read the comments when I need a pick me up.
Thank you Jill for allowing me to interview you. You were one of the first blogs that I ever followed and you inspire me with your big heart and authentic voice. You always stay true to who you are. Thanks for always sharing your truth and being scary awesome. XOXO
Hope that you all enjoyed my first This Blogger’s Life interview with Jill and if you liked her here, go check her out at ScaryMommy.com or better yet share her hilarious series of Scary Mommy books with the moms in your life.
2014/05/09
Every Morning I drop My Girls off at School I’m Terrified its Our Last Goodbye
My mind has been swirling with all the mass shootings and talk of gun control or should I say, lack thereof? Between Trump, shootings and racists using a burned out van to vilify all the Mexicans, I felt I was due for a Throat Punch Thursday post.
I’ve been spending a lot of time lately feeling nostalgic for my “good old days of blogging.” You remember, the days when I used to stay up to all hours of the night documenting my trials and tribulations of early motherhood after the babies went to sleep? I miss the whole exhausted, cut your wrists, open up a vein and bleed all over your keyboard days.
I miss the days before monetization, SEO and giving a damn who was reading and who I might be offending. I really miss my regular Throat Punch Thursdays so here I am, opening up my veins.
I know sometimes I’m controversial. I know that I’m political and opinionated but I think you come here to read the real truth through my mom goggles not rose-colored bullshit that’s strictly politically correct. Nothing I say should come as a surprise. I’ve never changed my opinion on gun control, ever.
Anyone who has ever met me knows that I am a lot of things but politically correct is not one of them. I have a giant heart with all the feels and not a lick of filter on my words. I’m passionate and I need to write things out to navigate the mucky waters of my mind.
Which brings me to todays rant, first Throat Punch Thursday in awhile, gun control. If you have ever read me before, you know that I believe that there should be stricter gun control. My belief is that people with guns kill people. Guns are not necessary. They were once, when we needed people to readily mobilize into a militia but we are way passed those days.
We live in a world where we’ve had more mass shootings this year than we have days in the year. We are no longer shocked when we hear that there has been another mass shooting, we expect it. We simply hold our breaths until we find out that our loved ones are not within range and then we exhale and pray to make it through another day. It sickens me that this is what it has come to.
Every single morning that I drop my daughters off at school, I kiss them and tell them that I love them. I watch them as they walk into the building. I watch them until they are through all three sets of glass doors and then, as I pull away, I pray that no one shoots them while they are trying to get an education, trying to grow up. I hold my breath every day until they walk back through the door. Every siren makes my heart jump into my mouth. This is what the world has come to.
My daughters have “drills” they do on the regular to learn appropriate protocol for what to do in case a gun wielding “madman” gains access into the building. I pray a lot. The Democrats say we need stricter gone control and the Republicans say we need better mental health. I agree with both.
Honestly, I wish we lived in a world where there were no guns. I hate violence and I think most people who have guns don’t need them. We live in a country where a person dies every 16 minutes from a gun. The scariest part is that people are being shot in places where they should be safe, where people are most vulnerable. No one is expecting to go to church, the movies or school and get shot or die.
Current gun control is not acceptable.
The staggering reality is this, anyone can buy a shotgun and almost anyone can get a handgun by applying for a license and waiting a few days. There are no required classes, training or enforced restrictions on keeping and owning a gun. Simply apply, wait, take your gun home and hope you don’t shoot yourself of your kids don’t find it.
This is what REALLY scares me. I had an actual conversation with someone I know, who appears by all accounts intelligent and worldly. We were having a deep conversation about mental health and a suspected diagnosis. My suggestion was get help; make an appointment, see a psychiatrist to get an accurate diagnosis and a psychologist to talk it all out.
On mental health, I am a firm believer in get help. Screw “what people think”. I’ve been on both sides of it and it’s always better to seek treatment than to try to deal with it on your own. The response I got shocked me, “I’m afraid to see a psychiatrist because if I have an official diagnosis in my record, it may restrict me from being able to purchase a gun in the future. “ It was everything I could do to not let my jaw hit the ground. This is a person who already owns guns and is not a hunter. These guns are for protection but with an undiagnosed, untreated diagnosis his biggest danger to him is himself.
So basically, our gun laws are just making those who might be mentally ill avoid getting treatment because it might interfere with their right to bear arms. Is this really what we want? Mentally ill people ignoring their mental illness so they can have guns in a full on state of crazy? Wouldn’t it just be safer for all of us if there were no guns?
What kind of world do we live in where the mentally ill are so afraid of the stigma of illness that they’d rather be suicidal and a danger to themselves and others than go to a doctor and have to disclose that they got help for a diagnosis? Wouldn’t we rather people be treated and healthy than undiagnosed and on the loose buying guns at will? How did our values get so screwed up? When did we start vilifying sick people? Why do we need so many fucking guns anyway?
I feel like I’m ranting but it’s because I’m mad that this keeps happening. Isn’t this the exact definition of insanity? What is it going to take for people to realize that its time to change our policies? I don’t want to be afraid to send my girls to school. I’m tired of being afraid that every trip to a public place could be our last.
We need more than just thoughts and prayers, we need deeds and actions if we want to make this world a safer, better place for our children to live in. I’m sick and tired of living in a world where every time I see my girls walk away, it could be the last time.
What are your thoughts on gun control, San Bernadino and all of this?
2015/12/03
I’ll Miss His Smile
There are people who come into our lives and make it better, people who make you want to smile. They might not do anything in particularly special but to you those simple actions; a kind word, a crooked smile or a hand and heart of support make them everything to you. These people matter and when they are gone, the space is empty and the emptiness left in their spot is felt. I’ve known this emptiness: when I lost my uncle Narciso, when I lost my uncle Ramon and when I lost my third pregnancy.
Yesterday, our beloved Monsignor suddenly passed away in his sleep. He had the flu and then, he was gone. We’re all in shock. We’re all in mourning. We don’t understand and it’s hard to accept, as it always is.
You see, he was more than just the leader of our parish, he was like everyone’s favorite Grandfather. He was a genuinely kind man with a smile that put you at ease and made you feel like everything was going to be okay. His voice was comforting and he carried himself in a way that was confident yet humble. He was all of this and more but the thing that I adored about this man the most was the way he loved the children. It was a genuine adoration and fully reciprocated by every single child who attended our school in the past 30 years.
My girls go to Catholic school. I was raised in the Catholic church. Priests have always been a part of my life, my family’s life but never on this level. Growing up, our father was someone who we saw on Sundays. Growing up, the Father of our church was on one level and we were on another. It was not a human relationship, it was more of leader and worshipers. Nothing like our relationship with Monsignor.
My children saw Monsignor almost daily. He was the living, breathing heart of the school. All the students were his children. He’d been at the parish and the school for 30 years, so even the parents were like his children. Most have known them since they were small children and attended the school.
He had a special way of talking to children and adults alike that made them feel special and important. When he did the children’s mass, he always got down on their level and talked to them like they were people. He always listened to what they had to say. He never took himself too seriously.
When I joined the school board a couple years ago, I got to know him on a different level; on a human level and I have to say, I loved him for his humanity. I loved that he was openly fallible and that behind closed doors he could crack jokes and give us a hard time, just like any dad would do. But the thing I will never forget is his smile; that kind and soothing smile that put you at ease and made you feel like no matter what you did wrong, God would forgive you and Monsignor wanted you to know it was all going to be okay. Words cannot convey exactly what I am feeling at the loss of this man, all I know is that there is a hole in my heart where he used to be.
My daughters are gutted. The entire parish family is mourning and it feels like nothing is quite right without him here. He was retiring at the end of this school year but he said that he wanted to stay near his “family”, us, his children, and so he had bought a condominium in the neighborhood behind the school just so he could be near us always and still visit and now he’s dead and all we have left are the memories of him.
We’ve been talking about Monsignor a lot the last couple of days and sharing stories about what we loved the most about him. It’s hard to believe he won’t be giving mass again. He won’t be greeting us with his kind smile and gentle eyes. He won’t be sending us into the world with his reassurance and fatherly love anymore but he will always be in our hearts.
I’d like to believe that, if there is a heaven, he’s there with my uncles having a good time and keeping watch over the baby I never got to hold and one day, I’ll get to see them all again.
Until then, I will miss his smile.
2016/08/25
All Are Welcome
If you are here looking for Throat Punch Thursday, I am on vacation and Throat Punch Thursday will resume at it’s regularly scheduled time next week. I just coudn’t bring myself to throat punch someone while siting by the pool in the warm Florida sun. Of course, if some zombie like bastard high on bath salts tries to gnaw my baby girls’ faces off, I am fully prepared to Chuck Norris throat punch the hell out of someone. No one chews on my babies while I’m trying to catch a tan. But seriously, you are in for a treat today!
Today my guest post writer is Tracy of Sellabit Mum. She is another one of my fantastically gifted writer friends, I have a lot of those. We met least year when she was kind enough to purchase my BlogHer ’11 ticket when I found out at the last minute I could not go and let me tell you, am I glad we did. Not only did she totally save my ass, I got to meet a really awesome lady. She is a sweet, funny, smart, witty mom of three beautiful girls. So if you get the chance to meet her in person, hug that girl for me! She is near and dear to my heart because we share a lot of the same life experiences, she just writes about them a hell of a lot more eloquently than I do. Today,once again she is saving my ass. I tell you Tracy is like a superhero. While I am on vacation with my family in Florida and she is up to her eyeballs in end of school year activities herself, she STILL made the time to write an amazing guest post. How much do I love Tracy? You can find her tweeting witt, charm and funny on the Twitter @Sellabitmum and on Facebook. Do yourself a favor and follow this awesome lady!
Thank you so much Tracy. I know you are as busy as you are awesome and that is A LOT!! Love you! XOXO
I’m trying to change my image. I need to do this for my daughters. I grew-up in a very strict household. Not mean. Just strict. One of my biggest memories of growing up is of my step-dad just sitting in his chair greeting my friends. I use the word ‘greeting’ loosely. He never got up or really said hi – he would just stare at them.
Awkward.
Our house wasn’t a house that we could play in or make a lot of noise in or..just be kids in. We were sent outside(which I totally get and do the same), but mainly I just found myself at other people’s homes where we could make a little noise and with dads that played silly games with us.
Even as I got older(and quieter) it was rare that I had a friend over because I truly just never felt comfortable doing it and my friends never asked to come over(I wonder why?).
Growing up in a quiet household gave me a very low tolerance for noise. This is difficult when you have small children. I had no idea the noise that kids could make once you gave them a chance.
So my kids are unusually quiet and sometimes I see their friends be incredibly shy around me like they seem to be purposefully careful how they act. And now I know it’s all my fault. I don’t yell at kids or say unkind words but I know that my body language makes them feel uncomfortable. I haven’t encouraged play-dates at our home. I don’t make friends feel welcome.
And I now want to cry.
I don’t want this same life for my kids and now I’m doing something about it. I want to give my kids a place they want to be and just be kids and a place that they want to bring their friends. That doesn’t mean I can’t have rules, expect common sensibilities, or ask for good manners.
In as much as I was raised to basically just be a little adult when I really just needed to be a kid – I cannot do this to my children. And it’s never too late to change.
It has to change because soon I will have teenagers and I want them here.
I’m starting a new mothering truth in my home – one of more kindness, acceptance, love and fun. And maybe a little more noise. I’ve been encouraging my kids to invite their friends over and even include a friend when we have an outing. I’m opening up our yard for the neighbor kids to just drop by and play at anytime. I’m making lemonade and offering cookies to them. And I’m sitting in the backyard and actually smiling at the happy laughter that I hear(though I admit I cannot accept those loud girlie screams).
But mainly I’m watching my girls enjoy their childhood and hoping I can give them one of comfort, love, joy, friendships on a little bit higher decibel than I was ever allowed to have. Because living out loud is such a better way to be a kid.
And it’s never too late to change this old mom. Hey maybe I’ll even join in a few games of tag this Summer.
Baby steps.
Play-date our house this week!
2012/06/07
Be A Better Me (You) Challenge- Day 7 ~ Make yourself a Priority
Yesterday’s Be a Better Me (You) Challenge-Day 6~Try Something New
was not a hard challenge because I like to try new things. I welcome change. But I did something out of my comfort zone. I tried an entirely different nightly routine.Normally, I either blog or work after the girls go to bed. This in turn leads to me staying up pretty late. Last night, due to my Mac going on the fritz, rather than hop on my laptop, I chose to unplug last night. At first , I will admit I wasn’t happy about it. I’m sort of addicted to being plugged in and I felt a little like I was smothering. But I powered through and went to bed by 10pm.I went to bed and my brain shut right down and I fell right to sleep. This led to me feeling much more rested and like I could actually think this morning. I may try doing this at least once a week from now on.What new thing did you try?
Today’s Be a Better Me (You) Challenge -Day 7~ Make yourself a priority.
I know many of us never even make it onto our own to do list. I know I never do. For example here’s my list for today:
6:20 am: Wake the girls up
Gthe girls breakfast
Get girls dressed
Take girls to school
Go to Target and pick up some shoes for Bella
Go to the grocery store
Do laundry,dishes, vaccuum,change linens, mop, put away laundry,unpack from traveling over weekend
Pack lunch for girls
Pick Bella up from school
Eat lunch in car in 30 minutes of free time before Gabs’ ballet class starts
Gabs ballet
Take girls home
Take girls outside to play for 30 minutes
Make girls lay down for rest time /Write today’s Be a Better Me Challenge
Get Bella dressed for Ballet
Take Bella to ballet
Run more errands with Gabs
Pick Bella up from ballet
Go home
Eat dinner
Give girls a bath/brush hair/brush teeth
6 pm:Get girls down for bed
6:00-10:00 pm work
You see my schedule is insane, especially on Tuesdays. The worst part, I am no where to be found on that damn list, unless you count the maid, taxi, and chef services I provide.Tonight, I am putting me on my priority list. Tonight, after the girls go to bed, I am working out and then I am taking a long hot shower with no interruptions! I’m going to start scheduling myself some time in every day. I deserve to be a priority on my to do list. I have wants and needs and they are as importat as everyone elses. So are yours! What do you want or need to get done that keeps getting pushed to the backburner because everyone else always comes first? Well, next time you do your to do list write it on the list. Block the time out and make it happen.How can we feel important and special in our own lives if we NEVER take the time to meet our own needs?We cant and its a vicious cycle, the longer you do it , the more you get used to it; the more your family and friends get used to it,and soon no one expects you to want/need anything. Then you are like a very quiet, well behaved servant. You are a woman…let them hear you roar! Make yourslef a priority. If you don’t; nobody else will!
Now link up and share how you made yourself a priority today? What do you want to do? When are you scheduling it in? How are you making it happen? Link up if you are posting a response to the challenge only; all other link ups will be deleted.
2010/09/07
Jammies, Ponies, and Yoga pants…Oh My!
What’s the love/hate relationship all moms have with yoga pants? Where does it come from?
Earlier today I am getting ready to take my girls to one of their classmates birthday parties, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I reflect on something ( excuse the pun) that just hit me like a ton of bricks. Who am I primping for? Who am I blowing out my hair, curling my eyelashes, smudging my eyeliner for? Well, its not my husband because he is at work and by the time he sees this lovely masterpiece, lets face it, it will look like it has sat out in the rain overnight.
It’s surely not for the 12 to 17 preschoolers and toddlers that I will encounter at this soiree. No, as far as they are concerned all Mommies look the same..we just seem to have our own special scents.You know the ones; baby vomit, baby poop, curdled enfamil, baby soap, and maybe the scent of stale cheerios, or a combination of the aforementioned and the ever popular soap and baby love. So, who am I dressing for?
It’s not completely for myself, because, try as I may, I just don’t have the time and energy to be that into myself anymore.T hough, I am making a very conscientious effort to invest more time into myself. I hear the more we put in, the more we get out.We’ll see!
So, again….who am I dressing for? I know its not for other men because, quite frankly, I think that radar went on the fritz the very minute that my wedding ring went on the finger. It’s like we are genetically predisposed or perhaps its more like pathologically brain washed from birth to know that once that ring goes on, we are no longer allowed to be aware if other men are looking or flirting. And so we are not. Sure there are the occasional, accidental flirtations that we nostalgically catch glimpses of and are flattered by…who wouldn’t be? We are, after all, married not dead. But as a rule, we generally are blissfully unaware.
Then it dawned on me for whom we are truly dressing for…other Mommies. Let’s take a look at the facts.They are the only people we normally see on a semi regular basis, their opinion does count to us, and we usually like to appear somewhat put together in their eyes. Whether we want them to approve or just don’t want them to disapprove, that is our target audience.I’m not alone in this am I?
I know most of us have tried the jump in the car in our Jammie pants and throw on a coat, go through the car drop off line and hope no one makes eye contact tactic. Well, actually I have not because I have heard too many times of the horror stories of the poor , unsuspecting Mommmy wearing her Jammies to drop off only to be suddenly called into the principals office or some other tragedy happening. It’s sorta like that warning your Mom gave you about wearing clean panties because heaven forbid you get into a car accident and there you are, poor schlub, with your period panties on. Yeah,because that is what the EMS notices when they are freeing you from your burning vehicle with the jaws of life! Thanks Mom!
Then there is , my very own personal favorite, yoga pants ( running shorts, tennis skirt..insert comfy athletic gear as you like) , t-shirt, and a ponytail.First,Come on, let’s be honest, when I pull my hair back into that ponytail..I know, in my heart, no grown woman should be rocking a pony!
Second, just because we are wearing our workout clothes..are we all actually working out immediately following drop off? I confess, normally, I am heading for a sweating session of Turbo Jam in my living room or a grueling walk around the neighborhood but on other days ( at least one), oh those “other” days, I drop my 4 year old off at school, walk back to my car, drive to my apartment, change back into my Jammies and have coffee on my sofa while reading Cosmo and I don’t even break a sweat. The scary thing is that I think I am making an effort by actually putting on the workout clothes, that is my step up! Lord, what has my world come to?
A few years ago, I would not have left the house for a million dollars without full face on and dressed appealingly to all who saw me. Now, who’s to say if I care, if I don’t, I think it depends on the day and my mood. How can we go from being so meticulous about our presentation to so profoundly unaffected? I do know one thing, Jammies and ponytails in public are unacceptable unless you are four or under.So that leads us back to my original question..who are we dressing for? We figured out its other Mommies, but why does some times it matter and sometimes it doesn’t? I know that I never want anyone to look at me and say,” Wow! She is really ugly” So, why wouldn’t I try not to be?
I ended up at the party looking somewhat presentable, clothes were cleaned, hair was blown out, icing was on the cake and it didn’t take too much effort. So, why don’t we do it every morning? Do we really think that the other Mommies and teachers deserve to be visually assaulted by our Jammies, bed head, ponytails, and (hmmhmmm) workout clothes? I, for one, say no. So, I am making a pledge to try and dress …before I take my girls to school and greet the fine folks at preschool..and at the very least,I will definitely try to do so before my return visit of the day to pick them up from preschool:)See you all at 12:30, hopefully looking considerably better than I did at 9:30!
2010/01/11
Mommy Truisms:Too Blessed to be Stressed Holiday Edition
It’s a special time of year for us Mommies and so I thought I should share a special set of Mommy truisms. Hope this adds to your holiday enjoyment! Merry Christmas!
- If your half asleep child wakes up in the middle of the night and you are caught red-handed wrapping “Santa” gifts, its better to gently walk said half asleep kid back to bed versus assuming they saw anything and telling them “Now that you know there’s no Santa….”.Believe me you can’t unring that bell.
- If you decide to make the elf on the shelf a part of your family tradition and tell your kids that the elves have magical powers of teleportation, its best not to get caught red-handed removing the elf from your luggage at the in laws house. Again, it’s mighty hard to explain your way out of that mess.
- Speaking of explaining your way out of a mess, if you accidentally use a term that you don’t want your kids to know anything about, do NOT try to make up an explanation on the fly.It will end badly. For example, telling your kid that the “Boogie Monster is like the Cookie Monster but sucks the boogies out of sleeping children’s noses” does not a situation better make.Just shut your mouth and pretend you said nothing.
- When your littles are bugging the ever loving crap out of you wanting to make Christmas crafts, Christmas Cookies, or sing Christmas songs and you are running yourself crazy trying to make it the best Christmas ever..stop, take a deep breath and remember what its all for and about.It can’t be perfect if you are annoyed with the very little people that you are trying to make it perfect for. Forget about the to do list and give those littles a little Christmas….NOW!
- Don’t drive yourself insane searching for the perfect gift.Don’t do it. For the little ones it will change on a daily basis.Use your best judgment and give with your heart.Christmas morning is about smiles and togetherness.If you are there in the moment with them and the love is flowing,it will be the best Christmas ever.
- If you don’t heed the previous warning, as I may or may not have in the past, you may find yourself crying at the end of Christmas morning because the Fancy Nancy book that you ordered special, the easel from France, or the freaking $100 chair you bought them (that you KNEW was going to be perfect) is met with a “why the hell did she buy me this” look.
- Christmas, like life, is what you make of it. It’s not about how much money or how many gifts you give.It’s about the passion with which you celebrate. Do you want your littles to think the season is about money and material things or about the spirit of love, a sacred religious celebration, and spending time with those you love? Remember, we are teaching them what it’s all about.
- Don’t assume every gift your little one wants comes from a store.Sometimes the most meaningful gift a parent can give their child is attention, a warm cuddle, a nose kiss, time together, lap snuggles, bed time stories, and REALLY listening to what your littles are actually saying. The smile these things bring is genuine and worth everything.
- When you are buried up to your eyeballs in snow and and it looks like you are living in a snow globe, and the kids keep begging to go outside, sometimes the best thing you can do is throw on all your layers, go outside and have a snowball fight for 15 minutes. These are the moments that memories are made of, why make the memory be of you saying no.Make the memory be, my Mommy was so cool she stopped the world and played with me in the snow.
- Christmas eve may be about traditions and Santa but Christmas morning is about presents and a big breakfast.
- Stress and worry are the only Mommy emotions less valuable than guilt. Don’t do it!
- When all else fails, coffee and wine will get you through the holidays!
Happy Holidays to each and every one of you. I hope that you have a wonderfully fabulous day basking in the glow of your families love. Kiss those littles, tell your Big Guy how much he means to you, and know that you are a great Mommy and wife.Merry Christmas, my friends.
This song is Christmas to me.
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2010/12/24
Vaseline Spray and Go Gets You Out the Door Freaky Fast
I love this video, it shows just how effectively the New Vaseline® Spray & Go Moisturizer absorbs instantly into your skin, so we women can put our clothes right on after moisturizing. I am not sure that I could put my clothes on quite as gracefully or in as cool a way as Emma, the dancer in the video, but it sure is fun to watch.
Of course, Emma is a professional dancer from London who was trained as an acrobat as a child and then switched to modern dance. She should be in Cirque du Soleil with those skills. I’m a mommy whose groove thang doesn’t work like it used to.
Can you believe the production team started by having Emma try 25 speed dressing tricks before they narrowed it down? Did you see her pull on tights while doing a back somersault across the bed? Holy moly, I would have fallen off the bed and broke my newly moisturized derriere. That was the hardest speed trick for Emma to pull off too, so I don’t feel so bad. Emma said the back walkover into a pair of heels was the easiest trick for her. Show off! I could never have looked so graceful doing those speed tricks; I would have definitely fallen and broken something. Emma was able to do every spot in a single take. Take a look at the behind the scenes video.

What’s not to love about the New Vaseline® Spray & Go Moisturizer? It’s freaky fast to apply and more importantly quick to absorb into your skin. It has a convenient 360° spray that dispenses lotion quickly and evenly and you can even hold the can upside down and it still works. It absorbs in 10 seconds or less. What else can you do in 10 seconds? It sure is helpful to get out the door in the morning. My time is precious, and I am sure yours is too. I don’t have time to wait for my lotion to dry in the morning.
Here are some other tips I have for getting out the door fast in the morning:
1. Wake up 20 minutes before the children. This is key to getting yourself dressed, ready and one cup of coffee in your system before the kids ever open their eyes. Not being whipped into a frenzy while trying to get little people dressed and out the door is a blessing and will make your life happier.
2. Plan your breakfast the night before. Nothing wastes time like staring into the abyss of the pantry or refrigerator. Hey, were you raised in a barn? Sorry, I was channeling my mom for a moment.
3. Make a packed lunch schedule and make lunches the night before and refrigerate over nights o they are ready to grab and go in the morning.
4. Homework! Empty the kids’ backpacks the night before. Take all papers out of the folders, make sure homework is done and sign everything that needs to be signed the night before not in the morning.
5. Give baths and showers to kids at night. Trying to get a half-asleep child to shower without consequence is not a good idea. There will be tears, probably yours.
6. Lay you and your children’s outfits out the night before. Preparation is key to a smooth morning, believe me.
7. If you follow these steps, you will be out the door in no time with your little ones.
Vaseline® Spray & Go Moisturizer is a quick, continuous 360° spray lotion that moisturizes deeply and absorbs in seconds, so you can put your clothes right on and get on with your day! Available in three formulas – Total Moisture®, Aloe Fresh, and Cocoa Radiant™ – this fast to apply, quick to absorb line of lotions leaves skin instantly soft – not sticky or greasy. Find out more at www.maxthemorning.com!
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Vaseline. The opinions and text are all mine.
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This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Vaseline.  The opinions and text are all mine.
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2013/06/28