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mom , crazy, OCD

Mommy OCD

by Deborah Cruz

mom , crazy, OCD

You know that moment when you drop your little one off at school and you don’t watch them all the way into the building and then you question whether or not they got safely into the building the entire drive home? It happens almost instantly as soon as you drop them off. Yeah that happened to me today, again and I was wondering, what do you do when that happens?

There is a lot of crazy shit we moms do. I used to be carefree and a bit of a thrill seeker but then I had kids and I changed. They changed me. Not only was a perpetual worry wart about them, I began to obsess about my own actions because now every single thing I did had a ripple effect on them and I want every thing to be perfect for them.

So, I’ve caught myself doing some crazy shit for piece of mind and to insure that my kids are safe.

I always leave my phone on because I’m afraid that if I turn it off, I might miss an emergency phone call that something has happened to them. The only time my phone is turned off is when they are within eyesight.

I never lock the bathroom door because what if someone fell and split their head open or started choking on a drink of water and I was in the shower, soundproofed away from it all?

My husband and I decided a long time ago that it’s probably not a good idea for us to both fly in the same plane because what if the plane went down? Our girls would be orphans and we can’t have that.

We don’t let them sleep over at anyone’s house that isn’t a blood relative because what if the house catches on fire? Seriously, if your house caught on fire and my kids and your kids were in the house, whom are you going to save first? YOUR kids because that is your natural instinct. I don’t hold it against you. I’d do the same but that means my kids are not staying at your house.

There are a million other crazy things that I’ve found myself doing since having children but the one that happens the most often is getting distracted at drop off and missing the sight of the girls actually entering the building. This one could literally drive me insane. Maybe I have a touch of OCD or maybe I am just full on bat shit crazy, either way, if I don’t see (with my own two eyes) the girls walk into the safety of the building (because yes, I do wait until they are safely in the building before pulling out of the parking lot. Sorry about the hold up drop off line but those are my kids that I’m dropping off. They are not replaceable.)

If I miss it, like my mom calls me or I turn my head to wave hi to another parent, my mommy crazy kicks in and I seriously can’t function the rest of the day without actual confirmation to know that they have made it to their classroom. I find a way to know. Here are some of my ruses that I have created to find out.

I’ve circled the city to come back only to park the car, get out and walk to her classroom window and look in to confirm she was there.

On mass day, I have come back in my yoga pants and pony tail and went to mass just to make sure that she made it to church after being dropped off after her class had already left for church. You laugh but the school was located right down town and anybody could walk onto campus and it’s not so hard to grab a 5-year-old and take her while she walks happily across the parking lot from the school to the church. It only takes a minute.

Called the school and asked:

The direct approach; Is Gabi in class? She ran up to the restroom and then the teacher took the kids upstairs, just wanted to make sure she’s not still sitting in the bathroom alone waiting for someone to wipe her. Why yes, yes I am insane.

Did Bella remember her gloves? I’m not sure that I remembered to send them and I’d hate for her to freeze her little hands at recess.

Oh no, I think I forgot to sign Gabi’s permission slip for the field trip, can you please call down to the class and check?

Oops, I think Bella forgot her tennis shoes/violin/lunch/water bottle, can you please ask her. I’ll hold.

If I am feeling particularly unsure, I walk into the classroom, Oops, I thought today was my day to volunteer (meanwhile I have made eye contact and know my kid is safely in her classroom).

Yes, I realize it sounds crazy but I am also the person who still gets up in the middle of the night to make sure that both girls are breathing and I volunteer to drive for every field trip because I don’t trust anyone else to drive them.

So, has having children made you turn into an insane person too? How so?


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KalleyC 2013/02/11 - 11:01 am

Nope. You are not crazy. We feel the same way with our two kids. So much so that we both wont get on a plane. I still check on my 3year old. Also I won’t let either one of them out of my sights.

Deborah Cruz 2013/02/11 - 8:38 pm

See, this world is just too crazy to turn loose our babies in it. Too much crazy just ready to happen. It makes me feel like I;m a crazy person but honestly, if I just tried to let it go, the only thing that would go is ME…INSANE:)

Leigh 2013/02/11 - 3:35 pm

Welcome to the crazy train, Momma! I think we all do this sort of stuff to make sure our babies are okay, right?

Deborah Cruz 2013/02/11 - 8:37 pm

Girl,I have been on this runaway crazy train for years now. I just wanted to make sure that I wasn’t the only one on it. Nothing makes you feel quite so crazy as circling back to school and looking in the kindergarten class windows like a freaking peeping tom but if I didn’t do it, there is no way I could have gotten anything else done that day. I have Mommy OCD in the worst way:)


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