Kids Grow Up

Today, I have the pleasure of sharing with you the awesomely wonderful and ever mentoring GiGi, of A Kludgy Mom. GiGi is the true living example of sisterhood through motherhood. She is not only a fabulous writer with her hands into about just about everything on the inter-webs these days ( she’s an overachiever folks), she has been a rock solid mentor for me. I’ve never met someone who has so little time but has such a giant heart that she is makes time to be generous with her time to help a friend. If you don’t already follow her, you are doing yourself a great disservice. She is witty, snarky, deep and amazing…depending on the day. Basically, she is always worth a read and a follow. Please check her out. Thank you GiGi for sharing your Truths about Motherhood today and helping me celebrate my 2 year Blogiversary. XO Debi

 

Kludgy Mom

 

 

Dear Deb wanted me to write about MY truths about motherhood.

Do we have a year?

We are giant figures in the lives of our children, and yet, we are just a tiny thread in the quilt that is the community of mothers.

What do I know about motherhood? I know this.

There will always be a woman who had an easier childbirth than you.  There will always be a woman who didn’t feel the baby come out, didn’t need drugs, cut her own umbilical cord and perhaps even performed her own c-Section while listening to Mozart and having her toes done by the in-hospital pedicurist.

There will always be a woman who had a more difficult childbirth than you. There will always be someone who was torn farther, bled more, went into labor earlier, had stronger contractions, and took a bigger dump than you. In front of a movie-star handsome ob-gyn.

And then, one day, the kid grows up, and none of that matters.

There will be times in the early days of motherhood that you drown in self-doubt. You will beat yourself up because you couldn’t breastfeed. You will beat yourself up because you’d like to take a break from nursing but can’t. You agonize over whether formula will cause your firstborn to grow up just like Jon Gosselin. You agonize over whether you will be ridiculed because you’ve chosen to breastfeed until your baby is 3 or 4.

And then, one day, the kid grows up, and none of that matters.

There will be moments where you secretly (or obviously) applaud yourself as your child achieves developmental milestones. You puff your chest out as you are congratulated at your toddler’s good behavior. You wear a self-satisfied grin as people call you a good parent. Because you know you are.

There will be moments when you are looked at funny because your kid is thrashing around on the floor at the mall because you wouldn’t buy her an Icee. You ignore whispers of “it’s all the parent’s fault.” You wonder where you went wrong.

And then, one day, the kid grows up, and none of that matters.

There will be times when you feel like every single minute of the day is a battle, your enemy tiny and silent. You will consider forcing food down his throat to get him to eat. You will bribe. You will time-out. You will spank, even though you swore you wouldn’t.

There will be times when your kid eats so much you can’t believe you raised such a greedy, gluttonous, insatiable pig. You will watch with disdain as giant hunks of steak and ice cream and broccoli get shoveled into his hungry mouth.

And then, one day, the kid grows up, and none of that matters.

There will be plans you develop to teach your kid the building blocks of learning, to stimulate curiosity.You flash card. You read. You sing in the car. You count peas. You take him to Sylvan at 13 months of age demanding why he doesn’t know his phone number yet.

There will be times that you are so damn tired of your kid asking why Santa wears red, why a beetle is called a beetle, how a remote control turns the TV on, whether he can dismantle his Nintendo with a screwdriver and who is Lady Gaga.

And then, one day, the kid grows up, and none of that matters.

In the end, it all boils down to one universal truth, doesn’t it?

Kids grow up.

Kids are born. We are offered the job of mothering. We accept.

They eat. They sleep. They grow. They learn. Much of it with our guidance, and much of it truly on their own.

We do the best we can.

Our obsessive focus on the minutiae of each mothering moment – positive or negative – seems silly in hindsight. Once-agonizing decisions that consume hours of our day fade into the blurred mosaic of memory. We are just moms.

Kids grow up. And none of that other stuff matters. Moms grow up, too.

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Comments (47)

Thank you so much for letting me post at your casa today, Deb! It is truly a pleasure to know you! 🙂

The pleasure is all mine, lady! You are a rock star in my book and a classy lady! XO

But what if I want to stop time?
Just keep it right where it is, right now, forever …
I don’t want them to grow up, I don’t want to grow old …

ACK, Mondays.
Need more coffee.

Lovely to see you here Gigi, always a delight.
and you brought me a new blog to read – hello TruthfulMommy!

I always want to stop time but if we could I would have never made it to this point and let me tell you what..I really love this part. A 3 & 6 year old, is pretty freaking amazing!

Oh yeah, and WELCOME to The TRUTH about Motherhood! I am glad you stopped by and hope you;ll come back!

Jennifer Probst

What a wonderful post – and so very true. Motherhood is a job like no other!

Yes, like no other…under paid, over worked, overwhelmed and mostly unappreciated BUT then you get paid in cuddles, hugs, kisses and being looked at like a rock star/superhero. Growing, Birthing, raising babies is HARD Work but it really is the hardest job that you’ll ever love.Hell,I’d do it for free if the could just keep the “I hate you Mommy” to a minimum of 1x a day ( fickle 3 year olds):)

Gigi- You are a rock star. Seriously. They should hand out this post at the hospital with the free formula and the plastic diaper bags. 🙂

I agree. It should be printed out,laminated and stuck in that free diaper bag!Awesome insight.

I don’t know about you, but that whole “job” of motherhood? I didn’t really apply for it – the person who held the position before me just up and quit and GAH – i had a screaming butterball in my hands. Heh. I tell my boys all the damn time that I don’t want them growing up. We have the ups and downs, but I try try try to live in the moment sometimes – before I know it they’ll be stinky men who don’t want to be near me.

Love this, Gigi – so much.

You are lucky..BOYS always love their mamas. Its the girls who hit the teens and think their mothers are ignorant assholes. I got that to look forward to ..twice! Thank God I got such amazing women in my life to virtually hold me when the girls are stomping on my feelings and making me feel like a worthless asshat!

Isn’t this just so true. Love it so much. xo

Gigi speaks the truth that is for certain!

LOL! I heart you hardcore Krysta…You are my all time favorite food bloggy/Mama blogging buddy! And apparently you share my good taste in people as well.I telling you,we’ve got to meet in person!

This is great. I try to enjoy my kids at the age they are now, but I have to admit, I sometimes have to tell myself that the next age and stage is right around the corner to get myself over the big bumps.

I always have to remind myself that all these moments are fleeting; the good and the bad. I think it will help keep it all in perspective and make it more enjoyable. Now,if I can just remember to keep it in perspective:)

Gigi, this is now one of my favorite posts from you. Kids grow up. Moms do too. So, very true. Awesome piece my friend.

Oh and “In-hospital pedicurist”? Are you pulling my leg (toes)?

We grow up? I feel as if I’ve regressed a bit since having children..you know my mommy meltdowns feel eerily close to my 3 year olds tantrums:) Like mother ,like daughter:)

I do subscribe to Kludgy Mom, but today’s the first day I learned about you! So yay, I’m going to subscribe to you now too. And happy 2nd anniversary. 🙂

Aww,thank you and welcome! I’m here always, sharing my truth about motherhood and I have the best bloggy friends who stop by from time to time!

But I like John Gosselin…

(just kidding. still if I did, one day it won’t matter anymore…right? fingers crossed.)

Either way, this post is fabulous, Gigi. And true. true. true.

It doesn’t make letting go of the worry any easier. But it does remind each of us that we are not alone.

It reminds us to take a deep breath and – for a minute – give ourselves a break.

And to be grateful we’re not on a reality TV show. (or maybe that’s just me.)

Time keeps flying. Hold on tight.

What?you don’t want to live life on a reality show?LOL

Great post Gigi. As a parent of 4 now adult children (the youngest turned 18 last month) I can attest that they do grow up. And whwther you fed on demand or scheduled doesn’t really matter. And whether you had a sleep routine or whether you co-slept doesn’t matter at this point. They grow up and you just have to trust that you did the right thing, and taught them the right values. Because one day, you won’t be there, and they have to make decisions on their own.
Does anybody have a tissue?(Thanks Gigi!)
Bernice

It’s so true, we’re so busy sweating the small stuff when we need to be enjoying the moments…gory or glory…they are all once in a lifetime! *unless you have a 3 year old, in which all sayings and moments are repeated infinitely.

Absolutely fabulous. Debi, you have the best friends!

Yes,I do..You are included in that group! Love ya! Email me and let me know how its going in San Francisco. Im sure you will be loving it before you know it!

Very true, and something I definitely needed to hear after a hectic and dare I say awful Mother’s Day, though no fault of anyone but Mr. Circumstance. In hindsight, it’s only #4 of many, many Mother’s Days to come.

I loved this! I’m a fairly relaxed parent, but when I do freak out and start beating myself up about something my husband is great at reminding me that the kids are basically OK. And it’s true. It’s easy to focus on what you think you’re doing “wrong” but if you look at the big picture, everything’s probably just fine.

I love this. It is so, so true. One day all of those things that drove you crazy or the silly way they said a certain word that made you smile is gone. Just like that. And all you are left with is a memory you hope you can hold on to.

What a great post! And some much needed perspective for those of us in the thick of it.

The thick of it is where its hardest to see our way out.I;m with you in the jungle, my friend!

Unless, of course, your child DOES grow up to be Jon Gosselin. Or worse. And then everyone else will scrutinize the minutia of early motherhood.

xo

SO thats something to look forward to:)LOL

Two of my fave bloggers in one place? It doesn’t get any better than this!

Aww, you are so sweet! It really is my distinct pleasure to have Gigi guest posting here:) She rocks my socks off!

Fabulous post! And, so true! The fact that most things that mothers worry about (myself included) on a daily basis will not matter is humbling, I think. I try to remember that truth to keep things in perspective.

Amen, perspective, perspective, perspective:)

Ahhh, Gigi, that was a wonderful post. And so very, very true!!

Her Truth about motherhood is shared by many of us Mommies. She speaks a common truth.So refreshing to hear another Mother’s honest take on Motherhood.

Nice post. I think it’s really important to remember that every stage of our lives will come and go and once it’s gone? It won’t really matter as much as it did when you were in the thick of it.

It;s always hardest to see clear of all the chaos when we are in the midst of it, enveloped right in the middles of it all.

Yes, yes, yes, to what everybody said! Why is it so hard to keep in mind, though!?!

Oh lord, I’m in the throes of it. But thank you, Gigi, for this reminder to CHILL THE EFF OUT. A beautifully written post and it’s so true – the minutes drag but the years fly.

Right now, I would like to fly to “potty-trained” and “mild-mannered.”

Such a great post Gigi and Happy Blogaversary Deb!

Yes- these sentiments are so true…. everyone says that someday the kids will grow up and I will be out of a job (well, this Mommy job anyway). But in the meantime, I just believe in the line:
“The days are long… but the years are short.”

‘Cuz man… somedays the days are LLOOOOOONNGGGG!

I always say that myself…the days are LONG but the years are short. I agree, today was a particulary

I always say that myself…the days are LONG but the years are short. I agree, today was a particularly

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